Uh huh. Yeah, he says.
She's so sweet, man. Don't wanna lick the rapper.
Lick me like a lollipop. Lollipop, Lollipop Lollipop
Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop.
You want to swallow my? Spirit.
Welcome back to the beautiful land of Candy Land.
We are so blessed and we have some hot, steamy tea for you
today. No, but you say hot steamy like
that. It sounds like there's like
piles of shit. Hot and steamy.
So.
We're enough to. Say, there's been a lot
happening behind these scenes for both of us, but Jim and I
looks so cute and she's living her best life and I'm going to
let her take it away. I am recording from inside of my
new living room where there is not a husband and that is
because I left the husband. So I have my own place doing my
own thing. This.
If you're on Patreon, you're able to see the background.
So the thing about this house is that it's a house built for a
giant and I feel like a Hobbit in it.
It's got vaulted ceilings and my cabinets are all where I can't
reach them on my tippy toes standing on something like I.
Anyways, so I was trying to take up a lot of room with this
tapestry that's behind me and I I can't get like one of the far
corners and it's like falling down because I'm too fucking
short for this shit. You need to buy a ladder.
I know, but I haven't. I haven't gone there yet.
I've gotten groceries, I've gotten things to wash, dishes
now put a bunch of stuff up, but I'm in like the decorating,
finding a new home for everything.
And the old place at the old place, everything was inside the
podcast room and I was kind of like reduced to that space and
like that's where I could express myself.
And now I'm in a whole ass house and this motherfucking bitch is
mine and I can put my shit any fucking where I want to and it
belongs to me and I pay all the bills here.
You can't tell me shit. I'll eat what I fucking want for
dinner. I'll hang out with who I want to
hang out with. I'll do what the fuck I want to
do. I'll say what I want to say.
I'll go where I want to go and I will take up all the fucking
room. So world, I am ready.
So it's a whole new energy because Gemini said that.
We've never seen a single Gemini.
And honestly, in her defense, she's been married like most of
her adult life. Like how many years?
11. 11 so like her whole adult life, like all of her 20s and so
now she's like stepping into this new era where, you know, in
the past she was like raising all these kids, raising a
husband, doing this, doing that, but now she's going to have like
kid free weekends where there's no one.
I'm just saying like I feel like I have some peace and like,
listen, the Co parenting thing totally works out in my benefit
because now I have certain days a week where like you're forced
to be present and you have to be the other parent and you have to
take responsibility. And I get 50% of the time where
I'm able to chill and relax because I don't know what it is
about society where it's like the woman's supposed to take
care of the children and the dude just like gets to go and do
whatever he wants. And then you're like, thank you
for watching your kids so that I could go hang out with my
friends. Like fuck you, 50% of them.
Like you shot your seed. You decided to take the fucking
leap. So now I have free time and I
quite literally, I'm like, I think, Goddess, I have this
fucking house to unpack and and decorate because I don't know
what I'm going to do with my hands when I don't have my child
with me 50% of the time. And like, I, I'm going to have
time for myself to like, do things, go places, explore
things, go on adventures, go on road trips.
Like, OK, cool. OK, well, I don't want to put
you on the spot, but now that we're here with our audience, so
we're going back to weekly episodes is what I heard.
Weekly episodes, bitches. We got all the time, got all the
things, all the topics. I actually have so many things
that I that we can like, talk about now.
I feel like it's like a weight has been lifted off of my body.
I mean, you definitely have been living like a double life for a
while. But like we have talked, I just
believe that like the more that you have embraced your healing
journey and transformed on your own personal like confidence in
your own personal like struggles that your husband just was like
jealous of your growth and like, but presented your growth and
following and community like he I think resented that you had
like an outlet to express yourself where he does not.
Well, and I told you, like, he made a comment when we went to
Las Vegas together, and he basically was like, yeah, I'm
like, really proud of your successes.
Like, I didn't think that you were going to be able to do it.
Like, I just didn't think that you were going to be able to.
I had no faith in you at all. I didn't think that was going to
be something that unfolded. And like, the fact that you did
it, like, makes me really proud of you.
But I'm really jealous because, like, in my business, I'm
selling a product and like, it's not really about me.
It's about the product. And when it comes to you, it's
about you and like people are buying into you and they love
you. And that's difficult for me.
And he when he said that too, like I already you and I had
already been having conversations.
There was already things going on.
But when he said that, I that was like one of the final things
for me. Like that trip.
I was like, we don't have any kids and like, I'm barely
enjoying my presence with you. Like I walk into a room and I'm
uncertain about what you're going to say, what kind of
confrontation it's going to 'cause I'm uncertain about like,
what do I like? If I say the wrong thing in the
wrong way, it causes some type of disagreement.
Like it's just always like just an iffy feeling.
And when he said that, all of a sudden I was like, all these
conversations you and I are having behind the scenes, all
these things have like, like feeling like he wanted to
compete with me and could never be happy for me was like, he
like, just like, confirmed it. And I was like, yeah, I don't.
I'm not fucking with that. Nobody deserves to be inside of
a space where someone's like, oh, I'm supposed to like,
support you and boost you, but I didn't believe in you at all.
And you know what's crazy about that?
Because I even told you, like told you that like even my ego
was like, wow, like Gemini had 100K wow, Gemini had 150 K.
Like my ego was just like, you know, wanting to like kind of
poke at those your own insecurities because like anyone
in the world, we're taught to like compete with people.
And I've really tried to remove myself from like friends and
family and people that like want to compete, but there's always
going to be your ego that's like, you ain't good enough.
Oh, they're, they're, they're going to do better than you and
they're going to be more successful than you, you know,
like that little voice. And I even felt like there was a
part that was like a test for me whenever I really started to
like elevate my own personal goals in my business of like all
the tests that we encountered in those beginning phases of like
community stuff and community chats and discords and whatever
it was. And at that time, like that was
like a really quick way to just be like, all right, this is too
much. I'm not going to do this.
Like I'm just going to throw in the towel on these community
spaces or whatever. But I just feel like there's so
many obstacles in everything. And anybody who has any success
on social media is like putting their heart and spirit into it
because these platforms are paid to suppress content.
They are paid to suppress organic followings or organic,
you know, clicks to your website or your, your links or whatever.
Like you start talking about Patreon, you start talking about
links, websites, classes, anything that's going to take
you off of their platform and they want nothing to do with it.
That's just like every time I post about like an event, it'll
say, do you want to create a Facebook event?
And I'm like, no, I just want to post about this.
So, you know, I think that your husband had a lot of
self-conscious things like on his own and I being a very
confident person. Like I said, there was a part of
me that was like, damn, like Gemini's going to get famous and
forget all of us. Or, you know, you had all these
new people come in and want to like start businesses and be
your best friend. And you know, it's like every
time someone's gets into your inner circle, they want to start
a business with you. And I guess I'm just going to
have to tell you that's a bad fucking idea because these are
just get on my nerves. Like they have never done
anything on their own. They get 12 to seven likes on
any given post even if their titties were out.
And here they are every time wanting Gemini to take them next
level. It's irritating.
And I do need you to be that person because the thing about
me is like, if I feel like I can help somebody with something,
I'm going to help them with something.
And I, and I, I'm really trying to like work on that because I
don't want to be captain save a hoe.
But I also just believe that like sometimes people need a
boost up. And there were so many moments
where I was like, damn, like I wish I could have had a boost up
or whatever. But I'm coming to terms with the
fact that like, it's OK to not have the boost up.
We didn't have the boost up and we had to do those things and
that's where we learned certain things.
So if that's how it needs to be, then that's just how it needs to
be. Yeah, and I think a lot of
people don't want to put in that legwork.
Like I literally think the Internet is such a scam.
And I do believe that like even when I have been posted on
someones story who has a million followers, it still didn't
translate to get me more than 100 followers.
You know what I mean? Like people think like all they
need is this one person with a million followers to change
their career or their life. But shout out Viking Barbie.
You know she put me on her story one day after I did a reading
for her and she literally has like 1.4 million followers or
some shit. And she was like because you
don't do OF this probably won't translate the way that you want
it to. She's like, but I will post and
like put it on there whenever she was like, but if your
titties, she was like, I could get you a lot of followers.
She's like if you had an OF link, I could get you a lot of
followers. She's like, but my followers are
like Purdy men, not people wanting spiritual guidance, you
know, like it was like translation of it is different.
And so, so many people think like, oh, country's cool and all
these little Internet rappers are turning country because it's
like cool. And I'm like, it's not gonna
translate. If your soul and spirit is not
in it, it doesn't matter what the fuck you're doing.
Like even give your soul and spirit to TikTok whereas other
people like myself have not. I would be pissed the fuck off
for you if you hadn't reached where you're at by now because
you have been dedicating so much time and energy to that.
Like it takes a lot to just like want to share that much of your
life with others. It's like, I know you told me in
the past, like spirit said, you should do that.
People want to see it. I know they do.
And I'm I'm very weird about it because I don't want everything
to be everything. Like as such as I want to share
more with others. I'm like, fuck, I already share
a lot. Like I already feel like you all
know a bunch about me so. You know what's weird about that
though is like I don't feel like I built my following off of
sharing like really intimate details about my life.
I feel like I've grown my TikTok by sharing small bits and pieces
about myself, but making it a space for other people to share
about them. And I really feel like that's
why I end up in the positions that I've ended up with, with
trying to help people is that even my social media has been me
trying to take care of other people instead of taking care of
myself or sharing myself. And that's why, like when this
situation happened with me having this like major change in
my life, I was like, no, like I'm going to take up space.
So that's like the biggest thing that I want to do in life is I
want to take up space. I don't want to feel small.
I don't want to be so careful about everything that I speak
and talk slow because I'm so nervous about what's going to
come out of my mouth. I just want to be able to like
share all the things. And I don't think that I did
that on my social media before. I think this share and even like
sharing these details, like I've never shared any information
about like my marriage or struggles or anything like that.
I until maybe after they've that happened and it's a long time in
the past because I never have wanted my truth to upset
somebody else or to seem like an attack.
But lately I'm in the mindset of, well, it wouldn't be my
truth if you hadn't behaved that way.
So really how you take your behavior is up to you to process
through the emotions and whatever that you've caused
somebody else with your shitty actions.
That's not my responsibility to put that on my shoulders for
your healing journey. Something in the past because,
like, mothers and wives are taught to like, you know, be the
glue holding everything together.
So I think in the past, you were just like, stomaching all these
blows, like all of these things and like, trying to like, handle
it and take care of it. And I know there were a lot of
added pressures and relationships in your life that
were like, also adding this pressure on to your marriage
too. So I feel like the lack of
accountability and then you being so self aware was like the
catalyst for the changes that are happening now.
Because it's almost like when everyone's asleep, rest is
happening, but when one person in the house wakes up, not as
many people are sleeping anymore, right?
So I feel like as the world is waking up, that's what's driving
up, I believe like divorce rates and things like that.
Because where people have like been together for kids or for
superficial reasons or financial reasons or whatever, people are
realizing that they can't operate like this anymore that
like they can't wake up like that.
Like I just saw for those that don't know this, I am bisexual.
I used to have a girlfriend. I've had several girlfriends,
but I haven't been bisexual. Like I haven't.
I am bisexual, but I have not had a girlfriend in the last
like 10 years probably. So one of my ex girlfriends, she
came out as a full lesbian before, but then she went back
to bisexual and got a husband and she's been married for like
the last six years. And I saw today on on Facebook
that her divorce is like final and her and her ex are like
cordial or whatever. But she just basically told him
like, I'm just like not happy. Like they were even in an open
marriage where she could like explore and do her own things.
But it was just like she, she just said it was like living a
lie, even though her and her ex were getting along perfectly
fine. So I think some people think it
has to be bad to like want to leave or to like justify
leaving. But like, like she said he was
super supportive. He financially provided he did
all of the things. And she just felt like she was
still living a lie by, you know, being where she was.
And I think that's crazy because today she posted that like her
divorce went final and you know, I commented and said,
congratulations, she's in another relationship.
It's and it wasn't like me prying, but it was me really
like, wow, I love to see people doing what's best for them.
You know, like there's no kids involved or whatever it may be.
But like sometimes I think people stay in very unhappy
situations and then make everyone else miserable in
between. Like they won't leave, but
they're miserable and they're making sure everyone around them
is miserable too. Facts.
And I think too, like being unhappy physically makes you
feel some type of way. Like even since I've been out of
that house, I've lost weight already.
I have like just like my skin cleared up.
I don't feel foggy when I'm like talking or anything anymore.
I'm like just so many different changes.
And I just think that people don't really see the effect of
like when you're shrinking yourself down and becoming a
background person. It doesn't mean that you're not
a like for me, I didn't realize that I was being quieted about
things because I felt like I've still been myself and like had
my same like, you know, bubbly, outgoing, whatever personality,
but I was everything that I did, I would think back on what I had
done and find out if anything that I had done could cause an
issue and was like hyper critical on myself.
And so even on the podcast, like I wouldn't just say what I
wanted to say without later on being like, fuck, I'm gonna have
to like listen to that as soon as it drops because I wonder,
like, you know, if I said something that would like cause
an issue or whatever, Fuck you. But didn't you say before that
like your husband didn't even listen to our podcast?
Yeah, he's never. It was never about that.
It was always that I was concerned that somebody else
would listen and say something. Well you know what's crazy is
like you posted that little clip from an episode Trendsetters and
my mom was so triggered by what was said in that three minute
little clip that she has been a bitch to me the last like couple
weeks. And she said who else did you
dog out on that podcast? And I said why don't you
download Spotify and go listen to the whole interview.
I said you can't judge a one hour podcast based on a 3 minute
clip. I was like, she clipped parts
that are supposed to pull you in so that you want to hear what
always said. And I said, and if anything I
said what I was talking about was that being cool.
And Gemini's opinion was I had no parental guidance.
So you can take this or you can feel some type of way about that
because what I thought was cool. This is an outsider perspective
of some who is a mother and who is raising a child and would not
be doing that. So that's on you if all of a
sudden you feel judged about your parenting.
Or you could just admit, yeah, that probably wasn't my best
work, but you turned out fine. That's her excuse.
Now is. Well, you turned out fine.
Yeah. But like a lot of that is.
But I raised myself. Yeah, a lot of that is because I
just have like, a really old soul and like, a really good
grasp of this place. Like I feel like at 32 years
old, I am so much further mature than almost anyone in this range
of age that I know I'm not from Earth.
Like I know for sure that I'm not from here.
That I came with a blueprint that was gonna like, align me
with some secret wisdom or something.
Cuz I just feel like so in tune with like knowledge or wisdom
that I shouldn't know or wouldn't.
Yeah, I totally get that. And I I think that that's a part
of why you're so strong on like what your purpose is and with
like your specific requirements of energy that you have around
you. Like you're a very particular
person about things and you understand the vibration of
different situations. And I wish that you would start
just like telling me when you're like feeling some type of way
instead of being like, Oh no, I'm going to leave Gemini out to
the fucking wolves. She's a nice person and it's
going to get. Taken advantage of right now.
And I fucking hate that bitch, but I'm gonna just be quiet and
let her fuck it up. Like no, tell me that like
bitch, you're being captain save a hoe right now.
And that bitch needs to like, stop writing.
Shit, so Jim and I will attract female friends into her life and
they have nothing going for them.
They barely have a toaster at their house.
Like they probably have financial problems, they
definitely have car problems, they definitely don't have
custody of their kids usually, and a few other things.
And every single time these people come in and they see the
Gemini makes money off of her business, she has following, she
goes viral. She's had videos, have millions
of views or whatever it may be. And they come in and they're
like, you know what I could do? I could rebrand your whole
thing. You know what I could do?
I could take what you built and I could add a porch.
Would you like a screened in porch?
And then she credits them like they have built the whole house.
And then then she'll be like, you know what Paige needs?
She needs a porch. And then they try to come over
here and tell me that my dove WOD needs a porch and I'll be
like, OK, let me put your offer. And they're like, for $5700 I
could put on the porch, but it wouldn't have a door or a floor.
OK, you follow. And then when I build it, I need
a cut. I'm like, damn.
So then I'll be like, damn, Jim and I, I have to wait a few
because I'm, I don't know about that.
And, and then they'll send me a link and then I'll be scared to,
to look at their link. And then they'll, they'll DM me
and they'll say, I sent you a link.
We're going to redo your brand. And then they told Gemini, this
is another spin they did. They told Gemini that our brand
doesn't reflect Gemini and and it doesn't reflect her and we
need to redo the whole thing because it does not reflect her
desires, needs or wants. Period.
First of all, I don't know why you roasted me.
OK, so that's why I'm laughing is that that was so that was
such a specific, honest roast. It put me in tears because I
just didn't know what to do with that.
I also, oh, that was good. That was, I don't, I don't think
I even need to say anything that was so fucking specific.
That's that's what I do. I did that.
I did that more than one time. I've done it.
I've been fucked every time I've done it.
But my God, I there's just something about me that's like,
you're wounded. And you know what?
Come on here girl. I can I can help you girl.
What's funny about that though, is like, I feel like every
single time that's happened, the universe will be trying to like
deliberately roadblock you. Like you're like on the way to
pick them up and like the universe is like flat tire, you
know what I mean? I feel like the universe does
give you a lot of signs about those things, but I also feel
like you are very driven. You're very stubborn.
And like I've said before, like I don't ever want to be that
friend that's like, Oh no, you shouldn't be friends with them.
I don't like them or I don't like their energy or whatever.
But I mean, I guess in the future, the moment that they
segue into the business arena that's going to like give me
free reign to be like, look, not a good idea.
Because I mean, anyone listening could understand why I
personally don't feel like someone who only gets 7 to 12
likes could help me with my business.
I don't give a fuck about likes. I really don't Once I started
thinking about likes as in like bodies, like if there's 10 likes
on this pic and there's 10 people in my house, it's a lot
of people. Or if there's 10 people in your
car is a lot of people, but 10 likes doesn't feel like a lot or
$10 doesn't feel like a lot, but 10 people is a lot of people.
If you got a feed house or clothe those people.
So you know, I just think sometimes these people come in
and they see start seeing like dollar signs like you know,
there's so such an illusion with social media that if you have a
certain amount of likes or followers that you're making
money, but it's not real. That's not true.
Y'all like I looked. Yeah, that's.
Not true and like I'm getting 80,000 likes or I'm sorry 80,000
views on Instagram in the last 30 days.
I have a screenshot, 79.6 K views.
Who the fuck is that? It's not 79,000 people booking
or reading. Who the fuck are y'all who is
doing that? I need to know.
I don't know because y'all sure? I need to know all thousands of
you fuck. You curious fuck aren't liking
my pictures? Because if that's the case I
should be getting at least 1000 likes on on every post I make.
Like what is what is that like? So I don't know, I just feel
like this social media stuff is set up to trap you into paying
for something that people want to see.
Like people want to see your art, they want to see your post,
they want to see your stuff, but like the oversaturation of it
and only promote promoting certain people's brands or
whatever. You know, like the people who
pay to play, they get a lot further.
I'm not going to give the Internet money for a imaginary
blue check mark. That means nothing.
I will say that what I found helpful was I was having a hard
time with tying all of my projects in together.
And that's where I was finding help and where I was like, I'm
going to give a huge credit for that.
And even now still I didn't under everything felt like
different individual projects to me.
And I had tried multiple avenues of trying to figure out with
myself how to make it all kind of more cohesive and to be able
to make changes with Coven because I don't want it to just
be spiritual stories anymore. I want to be able to branch into
different things, but keep with like the main core.
And I was really struggling with that.
And so this particular person, that's something that they were
able to help me with. And so that's where my gratitude
and, and like loyalty came from is the fact that they did give
me that help. I, I did find that helpful, but
I see how that wouldn't be something that you're trying to
do. So the changes in the different
direction and things that were helpful with me isn't right for
you. I was just more in the mindset
of, wow, this is really beneficial to me right now.
I wonder if this would be beneficial to page 2 and you
were able to see how like, OK, well, you even thinking you're
going to be able to help me with the things I need, like doesn't
make any sense. And that's separate from the way
that that person was able to help me with something that I, I
did need. It just wasn't a service that
you needed. I didn't.
There are things that were very, very helpful.
But I think that it takes a very, very strong and determined
person in business to be able to say my personal life is a
fucking dumpster fire and my business is my priority and I'm
going to pour myself into that. And of course your personal life
gets in the way sometimes, but it cannot take priority over
what you have going on for your business Like and that
individual was not able to separate and it ended up having
like negative effects. I don't think that there's any
ill intent there or that they mean to do the things that they
did, but I just next time I'm not helping.
No bitches with nothing. Build it yourself.
Oh, OK, cool. You're coming to something with
an equal, something nice, but I'm not getting in business with
you. Yeah.
I just think that there is a reason that they always said
like, don't mix business with pleasure.
Like there's always been that saying, like, don't talk about
politics at the dinner table. Don't mix business with
pleasure. You know what I mean?
Like, I just think that sometimes we are like, oh, yeah,
they definitely have good intentions because like, I have
good intentions, you know, like, why would they want me over?
And sometimes it's really a shock when it happens because
it's like, damn, like again, like I'm trying to be a good
person. I don't want to close myself off
from new connection. But also at the same time, I
feel like I also don't want to be like friends with someone.
Like in your case that like the first time you link with them,
they're like, let's make a tick tock.
Thank. You know what I mean?
Like, I'm sorry, one of my friends that has a lot of
followers says that's her biggest pet peeve is when she
links with someone for like the first or second time and they're
like, let's make a tick tock. That Kayla Jaden girl, the girl
we had on our podcast from Louisville, that poor girl has
been through hell and back with her millions of followers, which
shows you about like blowing up at a young age.
Like the shit she has dealt with from the toxic breakup that she
went through with that summer girl as of late.
I saw that someone came to her home and cut all of the
electrical box wires on the outside of her home and LG and
EA Louisville. Yeah.
It was like 3 weeks old at this time.
I'd just been home and it was like prematurely born.
So yeah, they did that. And then another time, like as
of recently, she came home and someone literally like busted a
shit ton of windows out of her house.
Like it's really bad. Like she really needs to move.
I feel so sorry for her because truly like she is just trying to
like raise her kid and stay away from this.
And it's just literally over like Internet drama and just
people in general. But she has admitted that she,
you know, she's only 22. So she had been involved with
some like fucked up people. So she is admitting that.
But she also has really went through it and it has shown me
that like people think they want millions of followers.
Do you think you want that until someone is harassing you and
stalking you and sending random people from the Internet to your
home? They were sending all kinds of
stuff. Like one day she came home and
there was like 1000 hot dogs on sticks in her yard.
Like who has time for this? That's also true though, why?
Like you need to be really careful with the information
that you are giving to other people.
And, and when people are building social medias off of
sharing every single detail of their life, no matter what it
is, you are allowing people to feel that they're an intricate
part of your personal life. And people really do like go
psychotic when they see you and they, I think that if somebody
fucking hates you, it's because there's an admiration in there.
And so I think that if somebody has the time to hate you so much
that they're going to seek you out, your address, your
whatever, do these things with you.
Like that's a scary line to me because I just feel like that's
somebody who is like in love with your portrayal and needs to
like, be aggressive with you and that's how you get shot.
Literally, that's how you get shot.
And honestly, today I feel like I want to elevate the type of
people that I connect with, especially virtually in general.
Like some people think they just want followers so that they want
to go viral. But even like you will know that
not all good interactions are gonna come from that when you go
viral. Now you got people, your
eyebrows are too dark, your lips are too big, you're ugly, you're
ugly, you're ugly on something that may be like donated a half,
$1,000,000 to this foundation or whatever it may be.
It doesn't matter. Like people are haters.
And I do believe that when there's a lot of attention,
especially when it's a supportive intention there, it's
going to draw it out of people that are close to you, like your
friends, your family, your husband, your partner, whoever
it is. And that's what sucks.
I think that's the biggest shocker about success is it's
not the people out here on the Internet that are going to
bother you the most. It's when your best friend or
your whoever all of a sudden, you know, is going to start a
business and expects you to get them to where you are or they
want to start a podcast so that now you got to teach them how to
start it. Or will you know how to do that?
So just show me how or just do it for me.
Or, you know, like all that shit, like it comes and it's
really built in that thought that you're going to make money
just because you have 100K followers, because you're not,
you're not making money. The thing is, like, I'm always
going to be that person. I just need people in my life
who are going to pour that much energy and attention back into
me. Like I'm always going to be the
person that's going to like take care of you and like helps you
through things and like do my best to like help nurture you
through things. Like that's just who I am as a
person. I've always been that way, but I
need to have people inside my space who do that back.
And I mean, that's how you know, you and I have talked about when
when we're together in person, that's like the dynamic that you
and I have is like, I'm like feeding you and doing all these
things and then you're pouring back differently energetically
towards me. Like it doesn't have to be the
same exact exchange with people, but it's the effort that counts.
And I've just attracted a lot of people in my life who don't put
effort in. And I've been like, no, it's OK,
I'll put it all on my shoulders and you can just talk down to me
because clearly I'm not doing enough.
And like, I'll just do a little bit more.
And then all of a sudden I'm like, why am I so depleted?
And so. And you know, that happens a lot
with people who have like a healer archetype and they're
like wanting to help others and heal others.
And I think that sometimes that is really put on to women to
like sacrifice and give and all of these things almost to the
point where like, I truly don't understand why some people seek
things out that they don't actually want.
Like they seek out the family and the kids and then they're
out cheating or drinking or abusing or whatever it may be or
the people who do certain things.
It's like nobody said you had to do all that.
Like you could have just went in here and lived your life, you
know what I mean? Like what compels you to be
like, you know what I'll do? I'll just have 3 or 4 kids and
then beat the shit out of them or abandoned them or you know
what I mean? Like, I don't get it.
Like there's so many people out here growing up without role
models. And I think at its core, that is
what's problem. The main problem within our
society is there's not really good role models.
There's no real good like community spaces for people to
come together and collaborate or learn or grow without being in a
rich area of town or being in something, you know what I mean,
that you're paying thousands of dollars for Like there's no like
Community Center for kids to go and hang out.
That's like chill and like not alcohol or drug oriented, you
know what I mean? I don't know.
I just feel like right now what the struggle is, is there's not
a lot of good people to lean on. So then people come into our
life that they're like, wow, I could learn a lot from this
person. And the next thing you know,
like those darker egotistical voices are taking over.
You know what I mean? Was like well they have all that
so I should have it too even though they didn't work for it.
Yeah. And, and I think too, once
people, and we've talked about it before, once people think
that they know you and like they have some type of like, look,
you know, beyond like the bail or whatever it is, then they go,
oh, you're, you're just a normal person.
You don't deserve those things. I should be able to have those
things because of ABC and D Like they stop being able to see your
effort and they start just becoming like jealous, I think.
And like just you become normal to them where they had put you
on a pedestal before. And it doesn't matter how humble
you are about things. It doesn't matter if you don't
put yourself on that pedestal. If somebody puts you on a
pedestal in some way and you let them down and you falter at all,
then the whole illusion for them is completely broken.
And people do that all the fucking time.
And I think that's why there's so many things on social media
is that people really look and like admire people and admire
where people are AT. And then the second that
somebody does something that doesn't align with what you
think they should do is if you're going to give fucking
matters, then it's Oh my God, I can't believe they did that and
let's cancel them. Kind of like that whole Zach
Bryan thing. Like I'm not like a super Zach
Bryan fan and I'm not saying that he was right or wrong, but
I think that a lot of people are marrying these celebrities for
the wrong reasons, which I think has always happened.
I mean, that's why, you know, 80 year old, you know, Red Hot
Chili Pepper, people are dating 20 year olds or whatever.
Like it's always been a thing. But I do believe that right now
more than ever, the illusions are like the veils being dropped
into these relationships where it's like, OK, it's not all, you
know, glam and glitz. Like there's trauma there.
There's these parties, these people, these things.
We've sold our soul. We've done this.
We're we're going to be blackmailed.
You know, people are a lot of comedians who were not like,
involved with the ditty tapes are really being vocal and
utilizing that as like their pun about how quiet Hollywood is
lately. Like no one's saying and shit,
no one's producing shit. The writers have been on strike.
That's why they're making fucking Wicked Part 1, Part 2,
part 42. You know, like they want to redo
everything because they have no new ideas, because they don't
want to pay the writers, They don't want to compensate the
people in Hollywood. And people are getting fed up
and they're leaving California and they're moving out.
But it's crazy how many fucking people are like going off the
grid. These actresses and actors and
stuff are just like, no, I'm done with Hollywood.
Or, you know, just like completely removing them
themselves from it. And I just think that's because
something big is about to go down and a lot of our favorites
home names are going to be brought down to light.
And I think, I think you will know the ones who have sold
their soul that like don't get exposed because of the way that
they're like physical appearance will take a toll.
You know what I mean? Like even if some people have
sold their soul like Doja Cat for example.
Yes, You know what? I used to love Doja Cat, her
song No Police. When No Police came out, that
was my fucking jam. I loved listening to that.
But yeah, she just kind of went off the rails a little bit to
the point that, like, it's just kind of hard to keep up.
Like I get authenticity and like individualism and like
expressing yourself as art. And so I like to give space for
that, but there is kind of a little boundary between like,
oh, like you're producing like enjoyable art.
And this just doesn't make any sense with like what we're
talking about right now. Like this is demonic and you're
talking about lollipops and cars, but we have this demonic
ass shit happening and there's blood and you know, like I feel
like. I'm the demonic ass shit that
happens in this podcast while you talk about lollipops and
stuff. So like I mean it can happen.
I'm not saying that. It's like, I'm not saying that
people expressing themselves as the problem because like dark
metal, that metal, you know, black metal, all that, Like
they've always been raunchy, bloody, you know, performances
like if you've seen in this moment, female lead band, she's
super bloody and gory during her performance.
So like at the end of the day, like I'm not saying that.
There's also this this band arch enemy that has just like a super
hot fucking female vocalist, just in case anybody needs to
know. But I do think that you can tell
when people have sold their soul, like you can tell when
they start shriveling up like a little bean and they start doing
things that are like humiliation rituals, in my opinion.
Like the way Doja Cat shaved her head and her eyebrows at the
same time. Like, what was what was that
like? What was going on there?
Like she was having mental breakdowns on Instagram Live for
months before that happened. And like, you could tell, you
know what I mean? Like, she used to be really
funny and witty and like charming and like, confident.
She'd get on lives and she was like, cool.
And then she got on lives after that and it was just like real
Spacey, real fucking weird, real fucking, you know what I mean?
Just like all the way like. Yeah, but I think that, like,
you have to have so many different versions of yourself
that unfold when you're like on that the platform.
Because literally every single person, whether it be, you know,
random fucking people in the universe or like big executive
people who have the opportunity to get you through, you know,
new doors, they're all telling you how they want you to be,
what they want you to do, how they want you to behave.
You're trying to figure out what social circles you're supposed
to be inside of, what is going to have you drinking baby blood,
who you're going to have to butt fuck like you don't fucking know
what's going to happen. I can't imagine these people not
having these crazy ass evolutions.
Yeah, because you start drinking blood.
Yeah, I don't know. I think that there's so much
would. You ever drink somebody's blood
page? I don't.
Know maybe I'll never say never about anything.
No, I'm kidding. I don't know.
I'm not saying that I'm like wanting to, but people do crazy
things. I knew you were a freaky bitch,
Paige. I I listen, you try to act like
you're like, so like sweetened a mirror.
And I know that as as soon as someone's like, I'm going to
break your back, you're like, OK, here's the hammer.
No, they better have their own hammer.
I'm sick of her. She said I'm not supplying any
supplies for this adventure. Come prepared.
I don't know. I don't even know girl.
I just don't know. I just don't want to limit any
opportunity I may meet a vampire.
I don't want to limit any opportunity.
Gemini's ready to get out here and see what's out here in the
field. She wants to.
I'm not, I'm, I'm don't put words in my mouth.
I got my own situations going on.
I have my own my own things, but I don't need to speak about OK,
and I'll keep it there. Oh, she's got secrets already.
She only is going to tell. You're making you're making me
blush. Only a few secrets for this
podcast will have to come back, and she may reveal the update.
About secrets I could tell. Honestly, yeah.
I feel like 2025 is giving such renewal energy.
I feel like 2024 has been so transformative that it was like
paving the way for something beautiful.
Like when you're going to build something, you have to excavate
the land and, like, get it ready to build.
And I feel like this year was all about like clearing and
making space and like we're moving people, places, things,
whatever it was. And I think that the most
inspirational moment is really closing the chapters and not
holding yourself hostage, not continuously beating yourself up
about, you know, things that you could have done different now
that you know better or now that you've learned wisdom or
cultivated that wisdom from the experience.
So, so many people are like beating themself up over things
that are in the past. And I think that's something to
let go of in 2025, mainly because like we as humans have
evolved so much in the last 300 years.
And like now they're about to introduce aliens to us because
they think that we're kind of ready for that.
So shit is about to get good around here.
And I'm, I'm sick of living in the dark or them keeping things
from the masses. Like I know they will never
truly reveal the main things because they don't want hysteria
and like crazy, you know, reaction.
Because truly I think what is going to be revealed could just
debunk religion. Like it's going to debunk the
story of creation. Like you can't, you can't just
throw the story of creation in there when this is before that,
like this is before that. So what was this?
You know what I mean? I believe this is what I think.
I think Earth is like a science experiment of a higher conscious
being and we think that's God. We're calling that God.
But I believe that we were created by an alternate like
dimension or universe or or Galaxy or whatever, as like an
experiment to see if life could form and sustain here to.
It's almost kind of like how in The Hunger Games they're like
turning the weather and turn the globe and moving in animals and
all that. I believe that's what they do.
That's what I believe. I believe that we think that's
God, that it's beyond that. It's even beyond that concept.
And there's so many like to think that the reality that you
see is the only reality that exists when you're constantly
even seeing it in things that you watch or whatever, where
like you can all of a sudden like wake up from something and
have a completely different like situation happening.
It happens with you when you dream and you go and you have a
completely different experience in a different universe,
different consciousness. It's really fucking real.
And then you wake up. How do you know what is your
real reality and what's not and like on what timeline and
paradigm you're on and who you're supposed to be like,
connected with in various times and cycles?
Because I think that there are people who continuously find
each other through different cycles and different experiments
and different things and like help each other along for
different purposes. And whether everybody has that
person or not, I don't know, but I believe that's a thing.
Yeah, I totally believe that. I think that earth like from
what spirit is like truly explained is like a school.
Earth is like a school that you, you cultivate experience and
wisdom through that is like helping you and other dimensions
and life forms. I believe like we're truly
existing on in so many levels. Like I saw something recently
that was talking about like energetic frequency and light
frequency is only able to be recognized at a certain fraction
or a certain level by the human eye or the human ear.
But that's why like animals and other beings have like Spidey
senses or like all the birds are leaving, you know, there's a
storm coming or like whatever it may be.
Like they have a different sense of it.
And I really have been like trying to tune in with like,
Mother Earth because it really hurts my heart watching them,
like tear down trees and build stuff.
And I'm trying to cultivate like the understanding that I came
here during this particular experience to watch them kind of
like destroy things to build so that in the future it can be
reclaimed again. And then when I was out earlier,
I was at a stoplight and you know how like something will
come through the concrete, like a baby tree or a baby Bush or
concrete. And I saw like two of those,
like a Bush and a tree kind of coming up through the concrete.
And I was like, and it was just a reminder that like, despite me
feeling very torn and upset about them doing that, that it's
actually for the growth of our collective because there are
more souls incarnating than ever before, because so many souls
are wanting to witness this collective change.
So many souls want to be able to say at into their home Galaxy
that they were here during this. Like they want to be able to
say, because in other galaxies, I don't like the the level of
emotion and suffering that we we see here on Earth is not
conveyed in those ways in other galaxies.
I don't know how to explain that.
Not that they don't have suffering, they don't have
emotion. It's different.
Like what their expression is, is a frequency.
It's not even an emotion. I don't know, which is why I
believe we're a science experiment, because we're able
to like, like we age, they don't like we die, they don't, You
know what I mean? It's I don't know.
That's just pretty much what it is.
That's what I believe. That's what I know.
So we'll talk about it at the Pearly Gates, everybody.
That needs to be the episode title.
That's what I believe and that's what I know.
And that's all I can say for it because honestly, I feel very
unwavering about that belief. I have so many.
I just like to listen to other people's like viewpoints of what
they believe and just be like, it's all right.
It's all accurate because I don't fucking know.
So who am I to be like that doesn't make any sense.
Like absolutely, you're correct. I, I have nothing to, I will sit
here and research it and like have facts to like support what
you're saying and support you on that fucking journey.
And then I'll listen to the next person tell me their perspective
and do the same thing. I'm just here to have a good
fucking time and whatever is happening is happening and I'm
going to just enjoy the shit out of every fucking moment of it.
You know, I think that's really all that we can do.
Like that's what spirit keeps telling me is like, don't worry
about like the trees and this and that.
Like just worry about you having a good time spreading your
message and living the the best life that you can and being able
to pay that forward wherever I can instead.
Because they were like, she'll flip the whole fucking table.
And I was like, OK, bet like Mother Earth will flip the whole
fucking table. So I'm just like, OK, I'm just
going to relax. Like really?
She really is in control. So I was like, damn, like that's
right. I just hate it.
Like I hate how every 5 minutes we get a car wash or a coffee
shop or luxury apartments. For one.
Someone made a post on one of our like community groups and it
said what happened to the regular apartments?
Why are all these motherfuckers labeled as luxury and 25 100
plus and I'm like yeah. Like.
Someone told me they built these like not even that nice of
apartments and they're $3000 a month.
What? Who can afford that?
What's crazy about this place is they're mixing condos that you
can purchase with like apartments that you can rent.
And one thing I'll say as a homeowner is you want, in my
personal opinion, if you're going to live in a townhouse, a
condo or a home, you really want to evaluate like your
surroundings and like your HOA before doing so.
Because you do not want to be in a condo or a town home or even a
neighborhood that allows short term rentals.
Because that means somebody's that come in there and Airbnb
the shit out of that place. And it long term rentals are
fine because someone's going to live there for a year.
They're not going to fuck shit up.
But if someone comes for three days, they're not worried about
your privacy, your time, your yard, you know, whatever it is.
So it's like so many people don't realize that, like they
don't look into things like that.
And that's why certain neighborhoods like that don't
have HOA's or whatever, have like couches on the front porch
or whatever and cars everywhere and trash everywhere because
like no one can tell them what to do.
But I mean, some people are like, I'll never have an HOA,
but I personally think that I would much rather not have to be
the Karen neighbor that's upset all the time when I could just
call a hotline and be like, hey, this is happening and then it
gets fixed. You know, I'm just like, yeah, I
am one of those people. Like I would rather have an HOA
or I would rather have those things because I think
regulations matter. And like to live somewhere that
they can rent and buy is not good because the people that
rent will never respect you as much as the people who bought
and are going to live there long term.
Yeah, because they have an investment inside of that space.
When you're just renting, you're just kind of there temporarily
and you know that eventually you're going to have to like,
move on and whatever. I love being a renter.
I had a friend who just became a homeowner and she had to replace
her roof, like as soon as she became a homeowner, and then she
had to like replace her furnace and all these other things.
And I was like, damn, like being able to paint my walls sounds
great, but being able to have somebody else pay these big ass
bills, I will cover the walls and shit so that they're not
white anymore. Not a problem.
I don't know. I mean, I think that that's a
limited mindset, truly. I think that big expenses are
not as expensive that as people think.
Like I as a kid had always heard about people's water heaters
like leaking and ruining people's floors or basements or
garages or whatever. And I always thought like water
heaters have to be expensive. When I went to like look at
water heaters, they are like 600 to $1200.
And I'm sorry, that's not a lot of money for something that's
going to last 10 years, like, and they used to last 20 years,
but obviously now nothing lasts that long.
But yeah. But not everybody has that at
their disposal to even like have that be an option of like, oh,
OK, well, in the long run this will make sense.
I'll just put the five grand towards it real quick.
Like you know what I mean? Get it.
But The thing is, is most of those places will give you like
0% interest for six months. So like, you know what I mean?
And then if you think about it, some people don't realize that
like mortgages are way cheaper than rent.
Like So what I'm saying for the person who's paying 3000 a
month, they think, oh, I don't got to handle anything, but a
water heater is $1200. And we're talking about at
maximum like they could, you could get a cheaper one.
You're saying the money that you could be saving by having a
mortgage versus paying rent, you would be able to have the money
for that? Every single month you're not
gonna have a repair like being a homeowner in like 6 years.
I personally never had something break.
I decided to go ahead and replace things as they were
aging out, like as they were 20 years old, you know what I mean?
So The thing is, it's like when you are proactive rather than
reactive, you don't have damage, you don't have water damage, you
don't have a fire you don't have, you don't have a leak or
whatever it may be. Like that makes sense.
I'm saying that renting a renting mindset is I don't care,
it's not mine. I don't care, it's not mine.
I don't care it's not mine. So then down the road you
develop that mindset with like everything, right?
Like people think leasing a car is a good idea and then giving
it back it's not a good idea. It's actually worse.
Like there's so many things that like this mindset is limiting
because for the person who pays 3000 a month for their rental
house that they think, well, I got 4 bedrooms and a big yard
and I don't got to pay for the roof.
OK, well it only needs a roof every 15 years.
It's only going to need a water heater every 10 to 15 years.
It's only going to need a furnace every 10 years.
You see what I'm saying? Like so you paying 3000 equaling
up to 36,000 a year in just rent?
You would never spend 36,000 in mortgage or repairs even if you
made all of those big repairs every year.
Does that make sense? It does make sense, but I also
am like, I wanted to be a homeowner so bad.
Like that was something that like I just, I really, really
wanted. And now it feels like a very
limiting choice for myself. And I don't know if that's
because now I'm like, I don't know what it is that like I'm
wanting to be doing. Like I have so many like
possibilities of different things and like I don't have an
unsupportive unit attached to me anymore.
I feel like I, I have choices and options and different
things. And I think that your space,
regardless of if you rent or if you own your space should always
be a sacred place that you take care of.
You should keep it clean. You should have it decorated the
way that you want to have it decorated.
You should take care of it. You should love the space that
you're in and be grateful for it.
And there are people who have this mindset of like, they shit
where they eat and they don't take care of anything.
And they those are, whether it be due to like mental health
reasons or they're just dirty fucking roaches.
Not my fucking business, but I think that that's the space that
I'm in right now is and maybe that's why I wouldn't consider
like a home owning right now is the fact of I'm like, I want to
be in a space to figure out like what I even want from like I
don't even know what kind of a house I would get right this
second. I just had a big fucking 3500
square foot house and now I'm like in this smaller place and
I'm like, I love how like quaint it is and cozy.
It feels, you know. Well, I mean for not everyone,
but what I'm saying is that renter mindset needs to be
shifted because people think that renting long term is better
in realistic terms because they don't have to.
Worry, don't think long term. I'm more saying like don't limit
yourself if you are paying 1500 to $3000 in rent, don't think,
Oh no, these big purchases or these things are going to happen
because I promise you these companies will give you 0% with
the worst credit because you know what, they hope that in six
months you forgot to pay that and you're going to get tacked
on all the interest from that time if you don't pay it off.
So there are stipulations and there are things you have to cut
back and do. But I'm just saying like the big
purchases that as a child I thought were just massive
purchases are not that fucking big.
Like a water heater or, you know, there's no reason that
people are trying to repair a 20 plus year old water heater and
it's rusting and, and getting their floor moldy.
You know what I mean? There's just so many things were
taught wrong because even landlords are going to come put
a Band-Aid on it. I don't know, I just feel like
about a homeowner, you shift into a more proactive vision
rather than being reactive and it really will cut back stress
which will add more money to your bank account long term like
it really will. This is something that it is
proven that if you are not stressed about money and not
emotionally driven by money, you will just naturally have more of
it because you're not going to be so emotionally upset about a
flat tire or a high electric bill.
We're going to be grateful and blessed that you can provide and
then know that it's coming back to you in some way.
So I'm just encouraging you all to not think small.
If someone single renting is perfect, someone who doesn't
have like a bunch of you know, obligations or doesn't want to
be tied to a certain area, renting is wonderful.
I rented forever. I'm not saying that like home
ownership is, you know, the only route and the best route.
I'm saying that don't rule yourself out of that route by
thinking small as in, oh, I want someone else to handle a measly
little $800 purchase. I'm sorry you all a dollar a day
gets you here. Like you're not going to have to
replace this with every 10 years.
You literally have to think bigger and in everything we do
now. Especially because Gemini, a
year ago you didn't know you would even be single, living in
your own. House.
Speaking of, what are you doing with your animals?
I have birthday Kitty here and he is keeping the other cat and
the dog and the pig. He's keeping the dog.
The dog is his dog.
Like she's super bonded with him.
He takes her places like that is his dog and I can't have her
here. Like I, I am just not set up to
have her here. My priority was I wanted to make
sure that me and my son were good and I wanted to be able to
have a space set up. It all happened.
It literally was I was like not like this isn't working.
I'm finding a place next. Later on that day I find the
place I call. Next day I come and view the
place. End of the day, they've already
called all my references. I know that I'm moving in.
Three days later I get a move in date.
Like it was just back-to-back to back-to-back to back happened
exactly how it was supposed to. I did not put any thought into
like. Taking a dog with me or
whatever, I knew that she would be good and she would just be
with him. And so I just focused on me and
him. And then I have birthday Kitty
because she doesn't get along with anybody else.
But the other two animals are super bonded with him and he's
bonded with them and that's fine.
And then the pig, like I'm not being able to have a pig is very
unique circumstance. So that's not where I'm at.
Yeah, I was just wondering, I thought you and that dog were
really bonded. I didn't realize that it was his
dog. I felt like that dog was.
I mean, I love her, but at the end of the day, like she listens
to him and he is like her alpha and that is not that she and I
don't have that dynamic. So I don't want to put myself in
a position of like the person who keeps her together isn't
there, you know? I feel like that's a very
selfish choice and not in her best interest.
I. Mean at the end of the day, a
dog is a lot. I can't have a dog.
Yeah, dogs a lot and I'm already about to like have AI mean I
already primarily did everything with the kid, but I'm about to
just have like I really want to just focus on me and him and
like our connection and you even now with how soon it's been
since moving into my own place, like you just I just moved
different with him now, like I'm not having to like overcorrect
because of somebody else's whatever.
I'm not getting input on my parenting and like what I should
be doing different or anything. I get to just focus that time
and attention on him and figure out like what things do we like
doing together? You know what I mean?
Like what's next? Do you want to eat together?
Are we eating in the living room?
Like I don't give a fuck. Like what are we doing?
I don't really know what a committed like 11 year like
relationship marriage looks like cuz I like my parents, you know,
we're never married and I just really have not been around a
lot of like long lasting committed relationships.
And I do know that if you do not find that person that wants to
grow with you, you're just gonna grow apart naturally.
Like I think that's the biggest mistake that people make in
marriage as they marry for the wrong reasons like convenience,
money, children, looks, family ties, family expectations,
whatever it is. Like just an example, the other
night me and Juba went to see Wicked and we were at a theater
on the rich end of town that I never we never go to.
She was like, I think I've only been here three times in my
life. So we went out there just
because I wanted a better experience.
I don't go to the movies. I want that like, go to a nice
place. And we saw one of like,
Louisville, University of Louisville's basketball players
that like, they won the championship that ended up
getting revoked on like Public TV with our sex trafficking ring
and prostitution. Prostitution rings.
What it was. So one of the star players from
that team, Peyton Siva, very attractive man, was like two
people in front of us. And I looked at her and I said,
is that Peyton Siva? And she was like, yeah, I think
so. And then his wife like, because
he kept looking over, that's how I noticed it was him because he
not only was wearing all red, he was wearing Louisville.
And he's just a very distinctive like person, right?
So his wife like looks over out the side of her eye and like
gives me the sturdiest look because I'm sure the way he's
dressed, he wants people to like ask him because this was 10
years ago, right? Like I graduated 2014.
Like this was 2013 when they won that championship.
So his his light of fame. Not no one knows who the fuck he
is unless you know who he is, right.
So I just thought it was so funny that and I was like, we
got to the theater, we walked right in, we walked right up.
We see paint and Siva turn around.
There's a million people waiting behind us.
His wife gives us the dirtiest, craziest look you've ever seen.
And you could just tell that like he's not happy.
You could just see it like she has this big ring.
She had Louis purse all the things, but you could just see
it in his eyes that that man's mind was wondering that he ain't
happy that he's there with his wife and his whatever at the
movies. You know what I mean?
Like people, I think that they are ready for the commitment
that I think marriage is. And I think to be married for 11
years, 10 years plus, like you're doing, you're doing the
work because it's hard. You've, you've met some hard,
you know, cycles in that time frame, but it's fucking a lot
when it's one sided and that other person is not growing with
you and growing and supporting you as you evolve and change.
Because I know that's one thing that always happened in my
relationships in the past is they wanted me to shrink.
They wanted me to shrink down to fit their ego or their
insecurity or their fears. And a lot of people like do that
and they like dim my light by making me insecure about things
that I do. Like you post all the time, like
you're always posting pictures of yourself, what kind of
message that sends or you know, that's like really gaslighting
me about like you know who I am and like the things I like to
do. And I'll see that like when I'm
talking to someone, I'll post like less kind of I don't know
why, but it's like all of a sudden and like worried about
how people are perceiving me. Meanwhile, this person probably
isn't even looking at my story and could careless as even
reading any of the shits, you know what I mean?
So then I'll just stop posting. I don't know, it's weird.
It's weird the cycles and phases that you can go through.
I think that you and I, it's a requirement for you and I that
people that we're going to be with our understanding of the
platforms that we have and the things that we do and the
spirits that we have and the fact that like we are very
business driven about things, but we're also very open with
things that we're willing to talk about with influencing
others on things we're sharing ourself with.
You know, just all these different things being a risque
on the Internet and like, you know, showing pictures of your
ass or like whatever it is, like whoever we're with has to be
able to come to it going. I know this is already something
that you do when it's something that I support you doing and
actually back us up on it. And I knew from the beginning
that he wasn't the kind of person that was going to support
certain things, like he was going to be jealous about like
pictures that I posted online or different things like that.
And so I was always trying to find this like happy pocket
where like I could have what I want and, and you're respecting
somebody else. And when you're in a
relationship, really that's what you're doing anyways, right?
Like you're wanting like their feelings and things to be
respected, but at what point is it that everything that you're
doing is based on their level of, of comfort and not on what
you're wanting to do? And why is it always that you,
me, whatever, we're always having to downplay something or
fit into some type of a box to make somebody else comfortable.
I just refuse to do that anymore.
If you're going to love me and want to be with me, you're going
to love the things that I do and the person that I am.
And when we have conversations about things, it's not you
trying to change me and it's a compromise.
Not that I have to change me to make you happy.
And to add to that, I feel like sometimes, especially in my
situation, the things that attract people to me, like the
photos that I post or the post on social media or whatever it
may be, like the things that attracted people into my life
then become like personal attacks on them.
Like who you posted on your story for or what are you doing
or you know who you doing that with or where are you going or
whatever it is. And I feel like that's very
common to the point that like someone from my past like came
back and they had made a comment like if only your followers knew
who you really were or kind of like insinuated that like they
had dirt on me or that they, you know, had information that could
be valuable to my followers or like change kind of like
blackmail is kind of like what it was.
And I wholeheartedly believe that this person if like, they
have opportunity, we'll try to extort that information in some
way. Like, that's how fucking weird
it was. Because like, who even says
that? Who's even thinking about
blackmailing someone before they've made it wherever you
think they're making it? You know what I mean?
Like, where do you think I'm going that you think that this
information will be valuable? Because how could it be valuable
if I'm going to speak up on it? Like, I've been very honest
that, you know, I, I did drugs and pills and partied and I've
had, you know, a lot of layers to my existence that, you know,
have led me here. So it's just funny when people
truly are so just fucked up in the in their own head that like
your growth feels like a personal attack to them, like
your confidence or your notoriety or recognition feels
like a personal attack to them to the point where that is so
triggering that they can't even fucking stand it.
They're like, they can't even process it.
And, you know, saying things like, Oh, I never thought you
would make it this far or whatever it may be once again
adds back to what I've said about how that person, your
husband and like the person that you were when you all got
married versus the person you are now are very different.
Because, you know, for those that are new listeners that
maybe don't know, you know, me and Jim and I met because she
got a reading with me and her reading was heavily centered on
like opening up her throat chakra and speaking her truth
and vocalizing her opinions and like not dimming herself down
for like peace or, you know, whatever contentment sake.
And it's crazy because like the evolution of that has like put
you in the position that you are now where like that Gemini that
got the reading would have never thought, Oh, I'm going to record
myself in a moo moo eating pasta salad and talk about my day for
absolutely no one. Like, like you would have never
dreamed that. Like you would have been like,
absolutely not. I would never be doing that,
like ever. So, you know, I think that your
husband fell in love with that version of you, right?
And like grew to resent the more empowered version of you.
And I think that's happened a lot in my life where people are
attracted to me because of my confidence and my independence.
And Oh, I'm really vibing with you because you don't have kids
and you've never been married and you have your own place and
all these things. But those are actually the
things that trigger these men the most because they they do
got kids that they've got to step up and take care of and
baby Mama drama. They don't want to admit or
living at their moms because they're financially struggling
or, you know, whatever it may be.
And it's crazy because like, I'm willing to meet people where
they're at without trying to feel like they have to like be
at my level instantly. But at the same time, what I
have to learn with new people is that their excitement to connect
with me does not mean that we're in alignment.
Like our initial excitement does not mean and that this is
alignment. And that's where I fail because
I think to myself, like, the universe is sending me this
person and it we're perfectly in alignment.
Everything feels so great. And that's why every single time
that happens, I'm willing to just be like, yeah, I'm about to
jump off the deep end. And yeah, we're going to go to
Bora Bora for the week and see if we could get married there,
you know? So it's crazy because I can see
that pattern. But then when it happens again,
I'll be excited and I'll be blurred to the fucking pattern
that's happening. And I have to realize that
people's excitement doesn't mean that they can sustain that
energy that it's going to sustain.
And I think your husband, the more that you have been excited
and actually been able to sustain that energy that he
didn't think you could, it has been extremely triggering for
him. And the same thing, like I told
you, whenever they started talking about banning TikTok two
years ago, I just kind of was like fuck it and just quit
putting energy into it completely.
And it shows. I've lost followers.
I have not went anywhere. I've still been at 1.9 million
likes for the last two years. Haven't went up, haven't went
down, just same thing. Like, so at the end of the day,
it's like, I know I took my attention and intentions away
from that, which was the problem.
Like you can't be successful. And I think that you've put so
much effort into things that that's why they're blossoming
for you. And that his fear of you growing
was what was kind of like keeping you small.
It's kind of like if you have a plant and every time it grows a
new leaf, you're like, Oh my gosh, I need to cut it back.
Like I felt like that was what was happening, you know, with
your marriage. And now you're seeing that like
there are so many sides of yourself that you've never, ever
been able to express. 100% true. And I also want to go back to
what you were talking about with your own like relationship style
and like falling in and whatever and like getting distracted by
things. I think that it's a really
beautiful characteristic that you have that like when you find
somebody that like you feel is worth your time, you pour
everything into that and you give them your time and your
energy and whatever. And you aren't super guarded
about things and you if they have a throat tat, they can get
it. And I love that about you all.
Right y'all? Let me that that is the thing.
That is the thing for Polly Pocket.
By the way, if you haven't her throat, if your neck is blasted,
she's sucking your Dick. It it's just so sexy.
I don't know what about it is so sexy but.
Things are so fine dude. What's crazy about it is I have
only ever like casually dated men with throat tattoos.
I have never had a boyfriend with a throat tattoo.
I don't know why this is like a standard that I like.
But The thing is, is everyone's got a throat they could tattoo.
So just keep that in mind. Like does everybody keep that in
mind? Listen, if you're tall with
tattoos, it it's a type. It's, it's a type.
Blue eyes, it's a type. I have a very specific type.
And yeah, I'm excited about it too.
So Gemini is going to start an only fans and he's going to
feature. I'm going to sell few pictures.
I'm dead serious about it. I would probably sell panties
too, to be honest with you, if I like knew the like right niche
to get into because I just think like that's super into it, but I
don't think that I'm ever going to be like spreading it on OF.
But I would sell feet pictures. I'd fuck a pie with my big toe
for you if you wanted. I like panties like I'm not
wearing them for more than two days.
You can go get fucked, but I'll pour shit in there so that you
think I did like you. Just let me know what you need.
Well, that's where we're going to leave tonight because it has
been a revealing evening. From sexual desires to personal
needs, we've covered it all. But you know, that's how we do
here, here in Candy Land. Looking like a lollipop.
Look like a. Anyways, we'll see you guys
later. We will see you all back at it,
but starting in the new year we're going to be back every
Wednesday and if not, you need Adm this Gemini Goddess 420
chick and tell this lady you want a weekly episode because
you miss it. Tell me what you want.
Tell me what you need. Tell me what you want.
Tell me what you need. Bye, guys.
We love you, see you next time. Uh huh.
Yeah, he says. She's so sweet, like a rapper,
Like a lollipop. Lollipop, Lollipop Lollipop
Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop.