You want to be my man? Welcome back to another episode
of Candy Land. We are so grateful.
Tonight we have an amazing guest, Mariah the witch.
I originally found her on TikTok.
And what I really loved about you, Mariah, is that you were
like, instead of sending spells and like, hexes out to the
patriarchy, you need to work on yourself.
And you need to like, focus on yourself.
And like, if you all raise your vibration, like, you'll break
this matrix or you're like, you'll break this paradigm.
And I felt that, like, welcome. Thank you for coming.
Yeah, I appreciate it. I appreciate you having me.
I'm super excited to be here and super excited to just chit chat
and get to know you a little bit better.
I know I'm so excited. I, like I said, I have some
questions and stuff, but only because I'm like really
interested in your craft and your journey.
And I really, really appreciate your transparency on TikTok
because I took a few years off of TikTok and then came back and
that's when I found you. And I was like, you're the only
person that I've resonated with as far as like new creators that
I've found. Yeah, this year.
I love that so much. I really enjoy the aspect of
TikTok for community and like it's like the one place where
it's like I'm so lucky that I come across as intimidating
because I especially some people have a bad experience on TikTok.
Mine is exclusive for like really cool people, you know
what I'm saying? Like, I really don't deal with
much drama on there. It's genuinely just like people
who want to get to know me and like people who resonate with
the message. And I really enjoy like the
community aspect of it and meeting people there, you know?
Yeah, Tick Tock has been a big part of my journey because I
originally, like, hopped on it, you know, five years ago before
the craze of like Tick Tock. And so I was able to get a lot
of followers and likes initially.
So I love that you said that you haven't had a lot of negativity
on TikTok. I think that there were a lot of
clicks in the witch talk, like arena, and I never really made
it over there. I was more on like tarot talk
and then I kind of stopped resonating with like the twin
plane, like love messages, which when I started my journey, I was
very into that. And I understand that that was
important for me at the time. But now I totally think that
that is such a scam of the patriarchy to think that you
need to seek out a relationship to be whole.
Yeah, I agree completely. And I think I've always kind of
been more of a solitary practitioner just because I
think that I think that everyone's path is really unique
to them, you know what I'm saying?
And maybe it's just kind of like my separate, like my separation
from organized religion as like like growing up.
But yeah, I've always kind of been more of a solitary
practitioner. And I think that it's really
helped me out in social media that I like have connections,
but I don't feel like I belong to a group.
And for me that's really effective, you know what I'm
saying? Because it doesn't really kind
of like tie me to anyone side of any problem which talk.
They're just kind of can be those saying, you know what I'm
saying. So it's kind of nice to be an
observer in a lot of these situations because I, I guess
like I think that there are places where it's important to
be involved and be vocal about situations.
And the vast majority of things on TikTok just aren't those
things, you know? Yes.
Like the drama that has happened on those different channels was
kind of like the reason why I was glad that I never was a part
of all that. Like I was posting tarot
messages and going live like five years ago when no one was
doing that. So I was getting a lot of
traction. But I really did deeply fill the
messages. Like I wasn't just air balling,
like making shit up. But like it did help me practice
did help me build a pretty big following and you know it.
It gave me confidence. I think that's what talk, being
able to get on a video, get on a podcast, get on a call with a
stranger. It takes a lot of talent and a
lot of like strength to do that. Like especially as a witch or as
someone who's offering services. Do you do live services with
people? Yeah.
So, so the way that most of my kind of like work kind of
functions is live services. That's where I do my best work.
I don't know, I've had a lot of people across the years who like
in like a business brained mindset, like encouraged me to
like create and just sell the courses.
So I don't actually have to like physically teach the classes or
like take the time. But I just, I don't know,
there's something about my work that feels like it needs an
individual there that kind of like, and I guess so specialized
in alchemy. And so a lot of my work is
really focused around trauma and focused around kind of like the
dark spaces and more subconscious places in life.
And a lot of my clientele come to me for a very unique
perspective on processing through and breaking down that
darkness. And I think that having someone
to hold your hand through those things can be really comforting.
And a lot of times, the reason that people are so afraid of
those spaces is because they've never had someone be able to
meet them there and be like, no, I'll sit here with you.
You know what I'm saying? I think that with like religion
and I think that with societies and even our relationships with
other people, we're often sent to deal with like the hardest
parts of ourselves alone. And I have this really unique
position in life with my job where like I kind of am able to
just go to those hard places with people and just sit with
them there and tell them it's OK.
And so a lot of my work is one-on-one kind of focused.
I do run courses of like multiple groups of people at
once. And most of those courses are
kind of the ones where the education is more cohesive with
other people's opinions. The next branch of my career
will definitely be more kind of like group based, like audience
based work, like kind of like public speaking, because I find
that channeled messages kind of like resonate with everyone as
the channeler and the receiver. So when you give people the
opportunity to speak during a channeled message and you
respond to them, they're also speaking for 10 other 15 other
twenty other people in the audience.
And that's why TikTok and connective social medias are so
effective because everything is a collective message at the end
of the day. Like, like the reason that we
find so much on the Internet, like, oh, I've never had like,
quote, UN quote, unique experience.
There's a reason for that. We're all following these very
universal patterns and we may interpret them differently and
experience them differently in our own external realities.
But at the end of the day, especially as a reader and
people come to me for reading, some people come to me for
solutions. You'll see 5070 people from all
over the world going through the exact same thing with different
faces. You know what I'm saying?
It's the exact same pattern. They're all just kind of
experiencing it differently. And I think that, yeah, there's
like a lot of like help that and benefit that can be gained from
collective courses. So I have certain courses that
run that way, but a lot of my work is done one-on-one
individually with the person. It's a lot of mediation.
And for me, everything ties back to those shadow work and some
chemical concepts and people really like that perspective
within me that like, I'm going to constantly bring it back to
like your trauma, your perspective, and are you
projecting? But like also it's going to help
you heal the world. Do that.
And it's like you said, you know, a lot of people find me
for those videos where I'm like, can you guys stop trying to
control the external world and please try and focus on yourself
for just a goddamn second. It'll fix everything, I promise.
And it's one of my main philosophies in life that if
every person became more selfish, the world would be a
better place. If everyone was so, so focused
on their own alignment and their own path and the people they
care about and the things they what to do in life, we would all
be far better off because no one would be tied up with the drama
and the constant kind of like caring of other people's lives
and things like that. So yeah, I like to focus on the
individual. I think it's really important.
And I think that focusing that importance on that individual
repeatedly really, really helps. And it's something that I
practice a lot in my, my like day-to-day when people are like,
thank you so much for your help or your guidance or I couldn't
have gotten here without you. And you constantly, especially
in the positions of like being a teacher, have to reroute that
and hand that power back to them because it's so important in a
society where every turn people are taught to hand their power
to other people. And you see it so much in this
line of work. People being like, this is
because of you. No, it's absolutely not.
I guided you, babe. You walk this path.
I was like flying above twinkling.
Like I've already walked this path 9 times.
This was hard for you. You know what I'm saying?
You should. I appreciate yourself for it.
So yeah, I think that like the importance of individual is a
really big part of all of my work and I tend to focus on it a
lot. You know, I really see you as
like a writer in past life, like I see you as like a channel who
has like wrote so many texts. And I'm sure you knew that or
know that. But I feel like you may even
like in this lifetime be stumbling upon information that
you put out in a past life kind of thing.
There's no question. So I actually, I think I've said
this maybe in a, in a tick tocker too.
I have far more memory of like my existence outside of
incarnation than I do within it. Like I have, I have, I would say
more memory of past lives than the average person does.
I have a pretty collective aspect of like some of my past
lives, but I remember far more of my existence in between and
prior to life and prior to the third dimension.
Like my soul existed prior to this dimension.
And I'll come across it sometimes places where like I
can feel that my soul interfered with the algorithm that I'm
working with in his lifetime. And it's such a unique
experience to hold to like be experiencing something that your
soul helps write or create. And I think that it's such a
powerful creator aspect that I come across a lot.
And it brings me to tears almost every time to realize, to
remember when this all was like a dream.
Like before we could like forget anything or like hug one another
or like give physical birth or like hold hands and like to
experience magic in its form. It's, it's really, I don't know,
just life in general really catches me off guard because
it's just really beautiful. And yeah, writing and
algorithms, the mathematics of life has always really inspired
my soul. Philosophy, bro.
I could read philosophy, but like 9 hours straight every day.
That's just my life. And be so content with it,
honestly. You know, that's what I really
love about where we're at right now and like the age of
information, because there is so much information, there's so
much content. Even if like you don't want to
sit down to read the book, there is someone who has broke that
down in concepts and chapters. And you know, that's what I love
about where we're at right now is because you and I both have
been killed, blocked and persecuted for spiritual, you
know, tingling and wisdom and healing and past lives.
And that's why, like my ancestors are always like, no,
bitch, you need to pop your shit for us.
Like you need to do it for us because we have like put you in
this position to be whoever you want to be to, you know, feel
sexy, to feel seen, to get tattooed, to just express
yourself in whatever way. And like, I will never take that
for granted in this existence. Every day I'm like Mother Earth,
just like, thank you for this beautiful meal, like just thank
you for everything that you do for us because she really is in
control. And like, earlier in the year,
we had a bunch of historic like tornadoes and floods here in
Kentucky. And I had went on a little like
journey with some plant medicine.
And she like set me down and she was like, look, we know you're
really sensitive about what what's happening to the earth
and the plants and the trees and the animals.
But listen to me when I tell you I will flip this whole fucking
table over. And two weeks later, flooded
everything over here, fucking ripped people's houses out of
the fucking ground. And it was literally in such
close coordinates to people I loved like that the Shields I
sent out like worked. And then I like, we'll forever
talk about this, but someone in my family that is like an
immediate family member has been torturing me, harassing me, like
sending negativity to me my whole life here and in past
life, right? So I just did a little, you
know, I just did a little spell to be like, bitch, like I'm
going to end this. Like you're going to have what
you have sent to me in the biggest way.
And what do you know if that's tornado did not hit her
neighborhood like please do not fuck with me.
But I'm not like trying to harm you.
But then I found out that her new boyfriends truck got stolen
too. And I'm like spirit never leaves
any crumbs like at all because I am like one of those people that
used to just like Oh my gosh, like why don't you like me?
Why don't you support me? And now I'm like, I don't even
want that type of support. You know what I mean?
Like, as an energy healer, I'm sure you've learned not all good
money or not all money is good money.
Yeah. And that is what I think our
souls are like, really here as like healers to teach others.
Because people are so caught up in this matrix, it's nuts.
Well, and something especially when it comes to like a
difficult family. So like, I was raised really
religiously and I'm adopted, but I'm adopted into my family.
So like my family has their resentments in X&X&Y places
about who I've become. And especially like squandering
the opportunity that like my adopted parents gave me.
Because again, my family's just really religious.
And I think that's something that I really, really kind of
internalized when it comes to family systems and healing
family systems is that you don't have to physically heal them in
order to heal. And, and I think that that's
something that's really prominent to me.
Like I've understood that in this lifetime, I'm not the
teacher for my family. Like I'm not the person that
they're going to sit down and listen to and understand from.
However, I know that as I heal the mindsets, as I give my
energetic reparations, as I do my ancestry work, as I do my
veneration, as I kind of express those things, my ancestry heals
with me. They have no option.
And sometimes it's just like the pettiest feeling in the entire
world when, you know, I get the phone calls from the few members
of my family that I do still speak to about how terribly
everything going and all of this.
And I don't know, the one thing about healing that kind of
pisses me off is how much forgiveness I have.
Like, Oh my God, do I hate being compassionate sometimes.
Like it really just gets under my fucking skin because like, I
don't know how to explain the energy that like I often feel
like the villain who's a good guy.
Like like you. One of the things that I think
often on this planet is like the fact that I'm a good guy here
shows what pieces of shit you guys are dead ass bro.
Because like the fact that I'm one of like the top tier good
guys on this planet. Like, what do you mean?
Y'all have my ass playing hero is crazy, bro.
Like I'm just saying. And so like, but one of the
things that I come across so deeply in my healing is just
like forgiveness for people who like I have every right to hate
for the rest of my life. And my childhood was so
traumatic by both my adopted family and like my birth family.
And like there was just never really any adults besides my
parents, whoever protected me. And now that both my parents are
gone, you know, I'm left to kind of like deal with this.
And you know, I don't hate any of those people.
Like On the contrary, if anything, I kind of pity them.
I feel bad for them. Like I keep them.
Like I know what it's like to truly feel compassion for people
who don't deserve it. And, and honestly, like I'm
allowed to say that that fucking sucks, bro.
Like I genuinely, I want to hate them.
But I found a lot of peace in the concept that like, as I
heal, they heal. And as I become a better person,
so do they. And something that brings me a
lot of peace on this planet. Like, I don't speak to a lot of
the adults in my family, but like, like, I have a situation
that just happened last week that actually kind of like, like
really embodies this concept. But one of my aunts, she just
absolutely hates the witchcraft. She's very judgmental XX and Y.
But her daughters and her sons come to me for everything they
need. And her daughter called me last
week and she goes, hey, Mariah. And I was like, yeah, what's up?
And she was a FaceTime in the middle of the day.
It was just, she's 16. So I was like, you know, weird,
weird thing, but whatever. And I was like, hey, what's up?
And she was like, listen, I have a headache.
And I was like, OK. And she's like, well, you always
cured my headaches when you were here taking care of Nana, like
my mom while she was, she was like, and now I have this
headache. Can you please teach me how to
make my headache go away? And she was calling me to ask
for healing instructions. And, you know, this is a little
girl who just like, goes to church every Sunday, you know,
like goes to the motions of religion, but she's 16.
And she knew who to call the healer headache.
And, you know, like, I think that that heals a lot of parts
of me that grew up in church. You know, that Jesus told you to
go out and be a healer. And like, I am 1.
And it was the cutest little thing to just kind of like give
her those instructions. And then she was like, before we
get off the phone, though, can you teach me the one in your
hands to make my menstrual Crips go away?
And it's just those little like moments where like you realize
that like you have the full ability to filter that energy
and you have the full ability to heal people even from a
distance. And we don't have to take like
the main character role in everyone else's kind of like
live for like, like play in order to actually change things
in like the like sub writing, you know?
And I think that we have such a beautiful opportunity within our
own bloodlines to heal them, whether they you fucking like it
or not. It's kind of awesome.
It's like the best form of control magic.
It's crazy we're talking about this.
I literally have a sigil written on my arm right now where I
passed a spell on my own bloodline literally like 2 weeks
ago to make them pay me for all the trauma they caused.
I was like, yo, you guys owe me in paychecks actually bitch.
No, I love that because that's kind of where I've been at.
Like I have embodied so much judgement and just like
projection from certain people in my life.
And when I started really like shielding and protecting my
energy, they really started feeling it and started
projecting more, you know what I mean?
Like when they feel you removing those cords.
Like they almost try to crank it up a notch.
Well, I, well, that's why I tell people to fuck off with the
protections. I think the protections are good
for the first few years of your witchcraft, but I think I wish
you had a point, especially in your own alchemical process
where protections, I'm not going to say they're useless.
I'm just saying that they're not as effective as like a
transmutation is going to be. And I try to teach people a lot.
I think the transmutation is kind of a newer concept to witch
talk. And when I think of
transmutation, it's really something that cut comes from
the inside of you. And when you get to a place
where you can transmute, protection becomes completely
unnecessary at some point because because the
transmutation is your protection.
Because The thing is, is that what we're doing when we're
protecting is that's exactly what we're doing.
We're putting a shield up, we're putting a wall up to send energy
back. But what we're doing when we're
doing doing that is we're telling the universe and
ourselves we can't handle. We can't deal with that energy
because it's too dark for us. It's too bad for us.
I don't have the energy to transmute it, whatever.
But when we transmute that, we can turn it into something else.
And, and I think that that's where I really like to train
people to is an aspect of like, when you become so self assured,
none of that energy can harm you anymore.
It can only turn into benefit in your life.
You know what I'm saying? If the gossip of my family does
not genuinely affect me in any way, then I'm allowed to take in
that energy and say, actually, it's going to be a paycheck now
actually I need to lose 50 lbs. So it's going to be a weight
loss transmutation. Actually, I need, you know, a
new wardrobe. So we're going to turn this
energy into whatever I may choose because I now have the
power to do so because that that energy can no longer affect me.
And I think that it's a part that we really and like more, I
don't want to say advanced forms of witchcraft, but like after
year 2, we should be laying off the protections.
There's a reason that you need to be protecting your home once
a month when you clean your house once a week.
Why? Why aren't we adding like
practicality and more alchemy into the process kind of thing?
And it's something that I think we miss a lot, especially with
bloodlines, because I'm like, no, my family's absolutely shit.
Do you have any idea how good that is to an alchemist?
I eat that shit for breakfast bro.
That was like another reason I was really interested in like
having you on to the podcast is because I knew there would be a
lot that we could learn from you because you're always on there
with concepts that are like, I feel like far advanced for
people who are just like picking up a crystal in a book or
whatever. And like, although a lot of
people don't even realize that like the tarot is shaped into an
alchemy journey and like that, that's alchemizing all the pain
and the things you go through to come out on top and it to
elevate your energy because it ends, you know, with the King of
Pentacles. And I just don't think a lot of
people realize that it's OK to be a beginner and it's OK to
say, hey, I don't know how to do this.
Can you teach me? Can you show me like I have
never ever been one to like, I love asking questions.
Like I'm not going to be quiet to ask questions.
And honestly, I like to learn exactly the way that you're
talking about how you teach. I like to have that like
feedback loop in a situation where like I can ask questions
because like you mentioned, one person's going to speak up and
20 people are going to learn from that question or from that
expansion. And I've always like loved how
technology and like Ted talks. And Zoom and all of these things
are like bringing people together to spread information
because we really are building a new collective, like a new
space, a new frequency. And there has to be people like
you and I that are like anchoring in that frequency that
like scares people because people are like, what do you
mean you do witchcraft? Like that is really fucked up my
dating life like 1000% because people are like, Oh, I cannot
lie to her. So I, I'm just not even going to
try. You know what I mean?
I'm good. See, OK, so I got 2 points.
All right, I want to start with the dating one.
I'll tell you. So like it's funny for me
because I always was really scared to tell people I practice
witchcraft professionally because I was like, they're
going to think I'm a total weirdo.
And it's funny because now whenever I tell people I
practice witchcraft, they go oh that makes sense.
As if I just told them I'm a nurse.
Like I don't know what it is about me, but when people
approach me like it's almost like the first question people
ask like what do you do for a living?
Like what? Or like they'll ask me if I'm
performing. People are running to me in
public and like see my outfits and be like, are you performing
somewhere? And I'm like performing what?
And so like for me, like I've gotten to a place where like
people kind of were like, oh, witchcraft.
And I do this thing where I tell people like, you know, I, I
have, I turn privacy off. I tell people exactly especially
like dating or like new friendships, exactly what I
can't see exactly how I see. I also just kind of like conform
them. And for me it's more of a
consent thing. I just inform them of like what
I'm going to see about you based on what you talked to me about.
If you talk to me, I'm reading you.
If you, whatever you're talking to me about, you're guiding my
vision. It's just who I am as a person.
I have no intention of turning it off.
I'm not going to, you know what I'm saying?
So like that's kind of how I handle the dating thing.
But also with beginners, I really liked what you kind of
like brought up there when it comes to beginners.
The way that I like to explain it to people is because you're
right. I get that a lot where people
are like, I feel like you're just really advanced.
I like to teach people from the understanding that they already
have the bigger picture. So I think that a lot of people
get involved in spirituality and witchcraft, thinking that
they're at the bottom of something and that they're
working there up to knowledge or like where I'm at, quote UN
quote, whatever advancement. And I don't think that that's
particularly true. I kind of see it like a game of
Jeopardy where you already have the answer and really what
you're formulating is the question because the answer is
you. That's it.
At the end of the day, whatever your reality is, whatever you're
like, why is my life like this? Why is this happening to me?
The answer is always going to be you.
Why do I feel this way? The answer is you.
So like we, it's not that we are seeking answers, it's that we're
actually seeking questions. We don't know how to ask them to
ourselves. So like when we start to see the
entire world as a place of connecting dots that it's not
that you study one field, it's that you're studying all of
them. So like, and, and like, I like
the way that you brought up like people who are using like
crystals to like heal themselves.
So if you're already doing that, then I would take it to a
different place of like, how could crystals heal somebody on
a psychological scale? What's going on there?
Like even on a psychological scale, even if the actual
crystal is bullshit, let me study psychology and how this
could potentially make a person feel better, right?
And you're going to find science there that makes sense, right?
And you could still say after that understanding that the
crystal is bullshit, but you have the psychology
understanding. Now we go back to the crystal.
Now we're going to go and study the energetics of crystals,
right? Completely over here, we're not
even going to study psychology, we're just going to study how
crystals have an energetic effect period, right?
OK, cool. Now we have all this information
about crystals and we come back here and now we have, oh, I was
healing myself with crystals and I understand how on a
psychological scale and an energetic scale that could work.
It's not about proving that correct.
It's about understanding that in your own experience that
mattered and studying the things that are relevant to your own
experiences. Does that make sense?
So I like to teach people from a basis that's really grounded in
the things that they're already experiencing.
People think that they're beginners and they're actually
very advanced in the same. I like the number of times I've
had to tell an alchemist that they're a fucking alchemist and
they're like, really? And I'm like, you've been in
therapy for 15 years. What do you think you were
learning there? Like what do you think breaking
down concepts and finding tools to help grow yourself on a
spiritual and emotional and mental plane is like at it's
very basis, it's alchemy. And I think that we've stripped
it's, it's literally due to the book burnings.
You know what? They started burning the books
and then chemistry became chemistry instead of alchemy and
they split out the spirituality from it and geometry became
geometry and Pythagoreas rules were just rules of math and the
spirituality was completely stripped from it.
And Isaac Newton and all of the work that he did became nothing
but science and gravity and the laws of physics.
And the 80% of work he did in astrology and alchemy just kind
of got thrown out the window. And we still abide by literally
the separation that they forced between the spiritual world and
science. And the entire thing is like,
like my bachelor's degree is in chemistry and my associate's
degree is in mathematics and both of those fields involved so
much fucking theoretics. It's same dude.
Like the word theory will become so relevant in your life if you
study in either of those fields. And when you get to a point of
mathematics, your science, where you're studying theoretics,
you're literally creating, you're literally coming up with
theories, reading other people's theories, things we can't prove
but make so much sense. And I think that it really comes
down to this aspect. If you already have the answers
and they're based out of your own experience.
It's not about asking what other people think or what other
people are experiencing. It's about relating to your own
experience and then finding the information that can help you
back those experiences up. Does that make sense?
Like, I don't think that I'm teaching from an advanced
perspective. So much is a all seeing
perspective that every person holds and I think that as soon
as I can get somebody to that all seeing perspective of oh, me
and my soul already know everything I'm just
experiencing. That's kind of the point.
Boom, they can understand literally like high level
concepts like crazy. That's why I really push people
towards courses. I'm like, come to me for 12
weeks, become a completely different person and then let me
teach you the crazy shit about life.
Like have you ever seen the fabric of reality?
I can show you. No, earlier my friend sent me a
video and she was like, I'm telling you a portal just opened
up on my property and then she like walked to the other side
and there was a foxhole, like just a baby like foxhole.
And she was like, I'm telling you something glitched And she
was like, and I could see the ripple.
She was like, am I at the end of the video game or like where am
I at? And it is interesting,
especially with history because I always, always, even as a kid,
knew that a lot of that shit was bullshit, that they were lying
to us about so much stuff. Like my favorite thing that they
did in the history books is they straight up like put the
Egyptians on like Page 1. And like this randomly started
there and like, just completely disregarded so much of like what
was actually going on throughout the world.
And then once again, it just centers you back to religion.
Like, it centers you back to religion.
And like we've all heard, you know, we're basically living in
a white man's imagination in this motherfucker right now,
like we all are. And how do we break free of
that? Like that's where I'm always
trying to like rally my like ancestors and like the women of
like my lineage and even beyond just any like power that I can
help transmute that we have been like tortured or silenced or
whatever. And if I can use my vessel and
be a channel for that voice and be able to like be rebellious
and be, you know, tell men to shut the fuck up or whatever I
need to do. You know, like I saw something
the other day and it was like some of y'all say you were born
at the wrong time, but I was was born at the perfect time because
I love telling men to shut the fuck up.
Yes, I, I think the same thing. I think that the one relevant
thing right now is to do things out of strength and not emotion,
out of a sense of knowing. And not because I think that we
see it a lot where like women are gaining a certain strength
in like speaking up for themselves and like holding
boundaries. But the, the kind of ascension
that our plan is going through, right, is a masculine, feminine
ascension. That's the basis of the whole
ascension. And it's not because 1 is better
than the other. It's because we have to
experience one in the way we experience the other.
And I really think about that trend that was going around
where women were asking their husbands, like, how often do you
think of the Roman Empire? And their answers residually
were every single day, and they were talking about some of them
are like ours every day. And I think that that's relevant
because we as we, as those who study the subconscious,
understand that if your subconscious is constantly
talking to you about something, there's probably a reason for
it. And I firmly believe that these
people are having past life attachments.
When we say, and like historians even say that America in the
fall of America, everything that's happening here is the
continuation of the fall of Rome, Like we are a continuation
of Rome and therefore we're watching it happen.
But I firmly believe that so many of the incarnated souls,
specifically men in this in specifically that demographic of
them is incarnated to watch the follow of everything they
created to see kind of that ending of like everything that
you swore was all good and godly in this planet is falling.
And honestly, Rome is a very good example of the masculine
energy from the intricate whiteness of everything.
The like the the predisposition to purity, the one religion
aspect of things like a very kind of like focalized religion,
things like that, even down to the violence of the Coliseum.
I think we see a very good example of the masculine energy
in Rome. And it has continued on through
the colonization of almost every country that we've seen
colonized, specifically America. America is more deeply a
reflection of modern day Rome than anything else.
And I think that we're seeing the fall of that.
So as a feminine energy and mob moving into the feminine kind of
like aspect, the best thing that we can do is come from a place
of being and knowing without emotional attachment and the the
things that we should be giving our emotion to.
And I teach this a lot to women who are struggling with
relationships that that feeding our emotions into places that
have done hard thing about hurt them is the stupidest thing we
can possibly do, right? If we keep saying that the
masculine energy has hurt our feelings and they don't pay
attention to them and they've never respected them, why would
we feed them anger? Because anger is a mask for
other emotions, other vulnerable emotions, guilt, embarrassment,
loneliness, betrayal, right? So what we're actually giving to
men when we feed them anger is our most vulnerable part for
them to just slice down, cut down, treat like shit again.
And the best thing that we can do as women is come from a place
of ferocity, of education, of knowledge, of being where we can
have a certain softness. And when we're feeding our
emotions to places, they should be the people who are
marginalized. They should be comforting one
another. And when we have this anger that
comes up, this like residual rage from the collective of
women, the way that we should handle it is the same way we
handle our inner child or our inner teenager.
When they come up angry, we don't express their anger for
them. We may in a channeled way where
we like like go cut down a tree, right?
Beat up a fucking car when that is not belonging to someone, for
the record, right? Just like, you know, like we go
to like a smash room. That's a healthy way to channel
that anger. However, handing that anger back
to men either in the form of podcast online things, for a lot
of us, that's really not the answer.
For the vast majority of women, that's not the answer.
Educating ourselves, arming ourselves with knowledge,
stepping away from conversations and saying you do not have the
education to have this conversation with me.
I'm sorry. I'm not going to debate you in
this because it's very clear to me that you just aren't as
educated as me in this field. And arming ourselves with
education to say those things because arguing with and giving
our anger, our upsetness, our like years of trauma to men who
continue to perpetuate that energy does nothing except feed
them. Does that make sense?
And I think that that's my biggest thing with like the
hexes and the curses. If all of us sat down and
collectively started, I think about that statistic that came
out where the World Meditation Organization came out with a
like it was a peer reviewed study basically stating that if
they could gather, I think it was 500 meditation people who
were trained in guided meditation into one area to
focus on World Peace for like 2 hours or some crazy shit like
this. But they were sure that
statistically it would create worldwide changes.
So I think of what would happen if all of these women, instead
of being angry and upset and giving all of that anger to I
hate the patriarchy and I hate men.
What if we started refocusing it because we're still self
centering men. You're still centering men in
that equation. Like I you can hate them all you
fucking want to that still, you're still feeding them.
Yes, and you know those groups. I know you know those groups
that are we dating the same guy little Facebook group.
So I was a part of that group. And honestly, just scrolling
through that just made me so nauseous and like sick and like
just constantly feeling like, what are these women doing?
And so I snoozed the group and then I had this epiphany of like
how that vibration was keeping me trapped in that cycle of
hating men. And I went to go like look for
the group and they had randomly deleted me from the group.
And I was like, I know that was spirit because spirit was like,
girl, this is too much. You don't need to be listening
to this. You don't need to be looking at
this. And just the way women, like,
degrade each other in those groups as well is exactly what
they want. It's exactly what feeds them and
keeps them in power. And like, I love what you were
saying about doing things in strength rather than emotion
because I have also been really big on like, silence is the
answer. No response is loud enough.
And just leaving things where they're at, like even falling
outs where in the past I would have just wanted to get my point
out there. I'm like, OK, cool, you wrote a
big book and I'm not replying like I'm not arguing with you.
And I think that there are important people to have these
conversations with, safe people. I have men who treat me very
well. They respect me as a person.
They respect other women as people.
Those are men who I'm having these conversations with.
They may have bad political views, they may have bad voting.
You know what I'm saying? There are some people worth
having these conversations with, but I think that it comes down
to discernment and like there's some people who aren't worth
having these conversations with. Also something that I've started
to really take personally is we, so you're like take personally,
like on an internal scale is, you know, I have, I have a lot
of like male friends who have like vast like vague views of
women. All women do this, all women do
that. And I think there are a lot of
women who have these opinions too, you know, and we say, you
know, it's not all men, but it's most of them.
And men feel the same way. You know what I'm saying about
their opinions. And something that I noticed
amongst my male friends is they had a tendency to separate me
from the rest of women. Like, as if this doesn't apply
to you, you can't make a rule from the exception.
And I've gotten this from quite a few people.
And I started to kind of like point out to them that I don't
think that it's all of women. I think that it's the women
you're attracting, and I wish that women would start applying
this concept too. And it's something that I teach
to my clients that if you think that all men are bad, maybe you
should reflect on why you're attracting that brand of men.
Because, like, hear me out. I get it.
Most of them are hard to deal with. 100% of the masculine
energy is rough right now. But it makes sense that they're
mad we're switching from masculine to human energy.
And if I'm even remotely right about them being incarnated from
Rome, they're pissed dog, like everything they work for has
fallen. Let them be pouty, who cares?
But the one thing that I can also say is the man who I've
attracted in my life on a very platonic scale, I'm surrounded
by a very attractive because I like eye candy, Like, I'm sorry,
like I don't attractive is #1 if they're going to be a man and
they're going to be in my vicinity, they have to be hot.
And like, but even on a platonic scale, these men take such good
care of me. I, I have a friend who bought
like a villa in Italy to just kind of like for his mom to make
sure she was safe or whatever. And he made sure I had a room in
it because he was like, well, I'm not going to leave you here
if things come crashing and burning.
You know what I'm saying? I have men who are very
protective of me, have offered to marry me if things fall
apart, which is so just annoying in the patriarchal sense.
But it's, you know, they're trying.
And I have men who just take very good care of me.
If things go wrong, I can call them.
But I've only found those platonic friends, those people
who care about me, care to talk to me, care to get to know me in
a masculine form once I started healing my relationship with the
masculine. And I also think that
desperation comes into it. And this is going to be a hard
conversation. I make you hate for it, but so
many women are way more desperate than they want to
admit that they are. And and I think that we can look
at men and tell, you know, and say, see the desperate
tenalities, but I think that I wish a lot more women would
recognize their own desperation. I I think often of like I said,
I have a lot of very good men in my life who are all very
attractive. None of them are right for me.
Do a lot of them hit a lot of my standards?
Yes. Would I every date them?
No, you know what I'm saying? And it comes from a place of
they each teach me a piece of standard for the man I'm looking
for, you know, and I'm saying they can hit a lot of them.
But when my life starts filling up with men who are close to my
standards, that doesn't mean I should start dating one.
That means the one who fills all of them and all even more is
showing up. And he has actually recently
we've got a cute little thing going on.
But like, I wasn't looking for a man who had most of my
standards. I was looking for a man who hit
all of them and then added some. I am like having good men
surrounding me who I was just willing to talk to, to speak to,
to grow with. Not in like a debate way, but in
a way of like really understanding to people.
And it's something I really integrated in my life.
I don't do competition mindset at all.
I just don't. And if I'm having a conversation
with you, no matter what it's about, and it starts to feel
like it's a, you think I'm wrong and you're right thing, I'll
stop the conversation. I'd be like, I just want to
reiterate, I'm not trying to be right.
I don't think you're wrong. I'm just trying to understand
from your perspective and help you to understand mine.
And it's something that I really reiterate in every aspect of my
life that like as soon as you stop getting competition, people
become 1000 times more comfortable with you.
And it's helpful, you know. I think pretty much the
patriarchy keeps women in competition with one another
because then we are instead of building community, building
knowledge, wisdom, connection, we are separated and like the
men like to keep women isolated as well.
Like that's what I've experienced is like as someone
who it shines like a pretty bright light.
Women get around me and then they go back home and they're
like, you need to pick your shit up or you know, like they're
brand new all of a sudden. So like their fiance, their
husband or whoever is like, I don't want you hanging out with
that girl because you come back here trying to tell me you have
boundaries now or whatever, you know.
But like it is a thing that we have been taught and embedded
that we're nothing without a relationship, that women are
nothing without a man or even like as happy as I am
financially stable, have a wonderful career, wonderful
friends and stuff. I still get out there sometimes
and I'll see like a happy, cute like older couple.
And I'm talking like older, like sixties, 70s.
And I'm like, like, am I ever going to have that?
Because like it is a dying breed of people staying together for
30-40, fifty years. Like people have this illusion
of options and illusions of things outside of themselves.
And like you said, if more people just focus on their own
healing what they have going, things change.
Yeah. Well, and I I see.
I like what you said about competition.
And I think that the primary cause of competition is
competition. It trickles down.
Men compete with each other, but they also compete with women.
Like you're like the number of men who compete with women on a
large scale on fucking microphones on podcast.
It's fucking crazy bro. And when men compete with women,
then women start competing with other women.
Do you get what I'm saying? And I think that it just kind of
like trickles down. And we see this in almost every
aspect of like marginalized communities because it doesn't
matter what group you belong to, you're put in competition with
someone else, you know, And they kind of like teach these
competition aspects. It's got.
And you're right, it's ingrained in US.
For me, I kind of like, I kind of hit this place where I
recognized that even if I spent every day for the rest of my
life explaining myself to another person, they would never
completely understand me. It would just never work.
Like I'm so complex. And even in like the 29 years
I've lived so much life to you, there's no way I could explain
the complexity of Mariah to another person.
And at first I felt lonely and then it felt really special
because I recognized that this life isn't about somebody else
experiencing me. It's about me experiencing me.
And that felt so special to me. And I think that it makes my
relationships with other people so much more special because
even when people are here for only a year, only three years or
15, or maybe they're my life partner, I get to share some of
the experience of my favorite person, me, with them.
You know what I'm saying? And I think that when it comes
to partnership. People have really lost what
it's like to share themselves with another person.
I think people go looking for themselves in another person and
because of that, the relationships fade really
easily. I think that we were kind of
encouraged to, and I can really relate to this because I was
married off a week after my 18th birthday and I was one of the
oldest women in my family to get married at that age.
Like, and obviously the marriage didn't last long, bro.
I was divorced by 21 and ready to fucking go celebrate, you
know what I'm saying? Like, but I think that we're so
encouraged to find ourselves in other people.
And this goes to so many levels. Like one of the biggest problems
I have in life is that women are encouraged to have sexual
relationships with men before having sexual relationships with
themselves. It's fucking nuts, bro.
Like I just I'll never understand that.
But I think that it goes so much deeper than that.
I think that it goes even into personality.
Like they teach women that you'll find yourself in a family
and in a marriage and in the house.
And for a lot of us, that's true.
Like I love my traditional roles.
Like I really love the things that like traditionally make
women women. They make me happy.
I love fucking cooking. I love cleaning my house.
I love doing laundry. I don't care whose it is.
I go to people's houses and do their laundry all the time.
It's my favorite chore. I love laundry.
I like organizing people's closets.
I don't know when it comes to sewing, like I grow the.
I want to sit at home and be a witch and cast my little spells
and sew my clothes. Do you need your boxers fixed?
Like, I like those rules. I did find my place there, but
in such a unique way, you know what I'm saying?
I'm also such a big person who's going to have a very successful,
already has a very successful career, you know, And I, and I
think about that. I think about the fact that
we're taught to find ourselves elsewhere.
And I think that while relationships can offer us a lot
of growth, you can't really offer another person growth
unless you yourself have something to share with them,
have something to give to them. And, and I think that it's so
important to kind of like ask yourself like, are you feeding
yourself in such a fulfilled way that you don't need another
person? And if the answer to that is
that if the answer to that is yes.
Reminds me of a concept that I adopted.
I went on a celibacy journey for like 3 years.
Came out of it literally I got pregnant, had a miscarriage all
in like a couple months with a high school like ex-boyfriend.
And like I talk about it pretty publicly mainly because like it
was so quick. I wasn't in like the mommy like
wanting to have the kid mode. I was in the what the fuck is
happening mode still. So whenever it all transitioned,
I was like, OK, I'm safe. Like I felt relieved.
And I know that sounds bad for people like that deal with
infertility and that it's not me being, you know, careless about
that. It's just me knowing for me and
that position, I was setting myself up to be a single mom.
And after that happened, spirit set me down.
And they were like, look, you just spoke a generational curse
by not having a child with that man.
And you 2 have a soul contract that's now fulfilled and you're
never going to see him again. And I've never spoke to him
again. And they're like the wildest
concept of like, you have to know where you end and other
people begin because if not, you're going to lose yourself in
what happens to you. Like that was definitely a place
where I could have just self imploded and really went to a
low place. But being the workaholic that I
am, I just kicked things into OverDrive.
Ended up having my biggest month I've ever had in my business
with like over 10,000 in sales in September.
Like spirit was like, OK, look this crazy door closed but guess
what baby girl, we have a lot of surprises for you.
And then I started realizing like how not ready was I for
those things? Even someone who's in her 30s
and pretty stable, I still did not feel ready.
It was like financially good security and foundation good.
Mentally, I was not there. I was so floored about how that
took me for like a whirlwind. And that's so real about women
like losing themselves either in their children, in their family,
in their spouse, and just not knowing who they are anymore.
Yeah, I completely agree. And I think and like, I
honestly, those things are breaking generational curses,
but I think they're so empowering for a person for you
to be able to say that wasn't right for me.
And I may like 10 toes deep. I don't regret it.
That's power within itself. And I think that it's so
important for people to learn that in life, to say no to
things, to say no to life paths that don't belong to them, you
know? And I think that it's a power
that's been stripped away from women and continues to be to
this day. Like the overturning of Roe
versus Wade and everything that we're saying right now, we are
saying actively just kind of like the right for women to say
no to certain life paths just disappearing.
And I, I think that it's, I, I think that it's so important to
discuss just like the ability that we have to stand up for
ourselves and empower ourselves and support ourselves and each
other in that kind of like aspect of like, no, I can make
my own decisions and this isn't right for me.
You know, I think about that a lot because like, you know, in
my life, I've made so many various things that other people
would consider like mistakes and I'm bipolar.
So like sometimes I just go manic and like quit my life.
Like I just like wake up one day and I'm like, my life fucking
sucks and doesn't make me happy. And I'll just drop everything.
I'll like leave my husband, quit my job, drop out of school, did
that all in one day one time. But like I'll just kind of make
decisions and everyone else, you know, they're like, you're
destroying my life. And it's so funny because
looking back on those things, I'm so glad I did.
I'm so fucking glad I made those choices.
I'm so glad that if you're listening to this and you have
mania, go talk to your therapist.
Don't listen to me. I'm not encouraging your manic
faces. Please go talk to your therapist
if you're feeling any other thing.
OK, I'm saying this about myself, but just that out there.
But yeah, I think that it's just kind of one of those things of
like the ability to decide for yourself what makes you happy
and what you're passionate about and what you want to drive for
is so important and it and it creates such a beautiful life.
Like if everyone would just drop everything that makes them
unhappy today and go find everything that makes them happy
tomorrow, in six months their life will be better.
I guarantee it. I guarantee it.
Because like when I was the worst version of myself, I had
the most friends. I was always in a relationship,
always had something going. And then when I started saying
no and started being like no thank you or no, I'm not going
to go or no, I don't want to be invited or no, I can't drive,
no, I can't pay, like whatever it is.
And just really started saying no.
I really kicked up on my spiritual abilities and it just
instantly started snowballing. And within the year, I had a
full like LLC business that was generating money when two years
prior people were like, no one will ever pay you for that, you
know, like family members and like random people were trying
to like gas like me. But like, I truly believe that
whoever is in your life is somehow either hindering you or
propelling you. And you've got to look around
and see like, who's the dead weight in my life?
And what is that costing me? Because what it's going to cost
you is your youth, your strength, your confidence.
You know, everything that's good about you can and will be
drained from you if you stay in places that you've outgrown.
And you know, it's like the saying like if a plant is not
growing, you don't change the plant, you change its
environment. And so many people think like,
no, I need to change. No, I need to heal.
No, I need to do these things and like, we're all human and
we've all made mistakes, but the moment that you can like move
forward and get into the bigger picture and into the path that
you're meant to be on, things will just start opening up for
you. And that's what I love about
life right now is because I've been going through a huge like
shedding rebirth phase and then finally like LED us to be able
to connect because that was blocked several fucking times
from you coming on here. And you know, the previous
person that was on the podcast with me, they were great.
But like, I have to let them go do their own thing without it
bringing me down because I see where other people are selfishly
gonna put themselves first, which they should.
It's their life. But it affects us.
It affects people around you. And like, sometimes I think
people don't realize what their decisions are going to do, like
what that ripple effect is. And I think sometimes you have
to just be able to say, like, I'm not gonna take that
personal, but that is fucked up and I'm gonna move on.
Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think that a lot of
people don't, I, I've learned in life that a lot of people don't
really consider how they affect others.
You know what I'm saying? Just on a like a really basic
scale. And like, I guess I'm a very
like, I'm a very butterfly effect oriented person.
Like I have a butterfly tattoo on my face for a reason.
Like I just, I really think about the way that my actions
and especially my magic effects people.
And it's because I was raised by a really manipulative person.
So I was trained like genuinely in the, in the art of
controlling people. Like people ask me all the time,
why are you good at witchcraft? I was taught to control people
without ever picking up a candle.
You know what I'm saying? And that's all witchcraft is an
is an aspect of manipulation. But I think that when the more
you develop real power within yourself and that can only be
grown from self love, self relationship, a really deep care
of yourself, but the more you develop that, the more you also
develop awareness on how your power grows.
You know what I'm saying? And, and when I started to
recognize that other people really don't understand how they
affect other people, it, it started to make me again, this
is one of those places where I have compassion.
I wish I didn't, but but I started to recognize that they
don't really have a lot of internal power within
themselves. And they and they often rely on
other people for it. And you're really right about
what you're explaining here. And I really like how you
connected the concepts and you're really the people that
you surround yourself with. You are your friends, you are
your relationship. You're going to become like
these people and a lot of people when they're power seeking, seek
other power seeking people and they just become this like
vortex of black, black hole energy sometimes.
And it can be really, really difficult to try and pull our
friends away from that or watch our friends get sucked into
that. But I also think that we're in a
time and space where souls are choosing exactly what they need
to. And it's hard right now because
we're going to watch people make really bad choices for
themselves. We're going to watch people and
we are on on a very major scale and on a very macro scale.
We're watching people make active decisions on sides like,
and I know that sounds so crazy because like divisiveness isn't
the answer, but I don't think that people take into contrast
how like as above, so below, we're seeing such a divisive
contrast because we're seeing a split of two timelines.
People are actively making a choice between these things,
both both leaders and the average individual.
And it's hard to watch when subconsciously we know what's to
come on each side of that. Do you get what I'm saying?
But like what you reap, you will sow.
And we're really watching people sow hard things right now.
And it's a hard thing to watch. But I do believe in the overall
development of each soul. I know that each soul is
choosing what they need to develop.
And a lot of times from a human perspective, it's hard to watch.
But from like a soul perspective, from an overall
perspective, I know the evolution that they're going to
achieve through whatever it is, we'll be worthy.
Because I've been the piece of shit friend who was fucking over
my friends. I've been that person.
I've been a piece of shit who was talking over my friends and
my family and not giving a fuck about anyone else because I was
so wrapped up in my own pain and my own trauma.
I've been that girl, you know what I'm saying?
So I know what it feels like to be that girl.
But also I can say with full ferocity that I was supposed to
be her when I was being her. I know that, you know what I'm
saying? I don't regret that girl.
I wouldn't take her back. I'm proud of her in so many
ways. She taught me a lot about
myself. She taught other people a lot
about themselves. And when I teach on TikTok about
these things, like some people are made to be bad people and
some people are made to play the villain role for three years,
five years, 10 years, a whole lifetime.
You know what I'm saying, that it's necessary.
But I think that our personal growth in response to that,
whether we've been that person or we've been hurt by that
person, that's what's of the utmost importance.
You know what I'm saying? Because I really do trust in
that, that if a person's hurt me through their own bad behavior
for whatever reason, there's a lesson to be learned.
And it's like you said, sometimes you just have to take
a step away. Sometimes you just have to sit
and connect myself with that person.
Sometimes that's a lesson to be learned.
It's to walk off, you know what I'm saying?
With some of the people in my life, my, my goal has been like
complete no contact until they healed to certain levels.
And now I speak to those people every day.
I think that it really just comes down to how do we choose
to heal in the face of evil, betrayal, violence,
embarrassment, a bad friend, a bad relationship, a toxic
partner, a bad parent, a parent who is a piece of shit.
You know what I'm saying? It's really about like, how are
we going to respond to that? And and that's where that
transmutation comes in, because when you become a healing force
for the version of you that was hurt by those people, by the
version of you who hurt people, when you become the healer for
all of those, every hurt person and every person hurting people
has no option but to heal every time they come in contact with
you. And I notice this all the time.
Sometimes I like up like podcast appointments, interviews, they
just won't work out. And I'm like, they're not ready
for this yet. Yeah, and that's exactly how I
felt like because there were logistics issues, there were
cancellations, there was timing issues.
Like there was so many issues that were like blocking this
conversation. But now I see that because we
were supposed to have a solo conversation because you and I
are on a vibration that's growing in the same direction
and other people are stagnant or stepping off the rod or waiting
in line or they're in a different chapter.
And like you said, I love what you said.
I really honor the part of me that was like careless,
reckless, did drugs, partied. Like she was so fun.
She didn't give a fuck. We would hit Walmart at 3:00 in
the morning. She'd park her car on the side
of the road. She did not care.
And now I get anxiety like going to the grocery store or I get
inside about the parking situation before I get there,
when literally before I would park my side like off the side
of a Cliff and go to a field party in a heartbeat.
And you know, you know, I see a lot of things based on like how
kids are growing up nowadays, like life, 360 Ring doorbells,
you know, all of these little tracking devices that like our
parents just literally thought we were at Jessica's house and
that we were at Jessica's house. And we, and guess what you all,
we were never at Jessica's house.
Ever. Bro it's so funny now because my
parents are dead so I can really just out myself.
I'm like all the crazy shit I did as a teenager, they're going
to be rolling over in their drugs.
But no, I completely feel you. I, I don't know.
I never really lost that part of me.
I still, I guess for me, I've been a really, I don't even want
to call it rebellious. I just always knew I was right
about shit growing up. Like I always knew that the
adults around me just didn't understand the way I understood.
And then like I was really reckless as a teenager, but like
I'm having a problem putting it down as an adult.
Like I still do really reckless shit sometimes.
Like I don't even mean to like sometimes I'm just like, this
will be fun. I ended up on an accidental date
with like this guy who had just committed like, I don't know if
I can say murder on here, but like he just got out of prison
for murder and like SA like assault and had an ankle monitor
on and everything. And I didn't even know it was
like a date. I thought I was just like,
having, like, I was running from a domestic violence situation,
like, already. And I was like, alone in this
random city. And this guy just asked me to
come have lunch with him on Thanksgiving.
And he was an older man. So I was like, yeah, I think
that'd be nice, you know? And I'm an alchemist.
So like, I get drawn to like, older people or like people who
are lonely or like people who have struggles a lot.
So like, for me, my dumb ass. And I was like, oh, it's so
aligned. And it's just like an older man.
And I was so excited to like, go and like, just, like, be there
for him. It was so stupid.
And it wasn't until like 10 minutes into the conversation
that, like, alarms start going off in my head.
And I'm like, I shouldn't be here.
Like I shouldn't, couldn't be here if I'm being set up.
Bro, I'm gone and no one knows I was even in the city.
And and it's just like small things like that where I'm like,
I'm trying to grow out of it because bro, I'm still so down
for the like after my mom passed away.
So my mom just passed away like 5 months ago and I missed my
flight to Boston because of my family.
It's a long story there. I was like, I have to get the
hell out of this place. Like I took it as a sign I
wasn't supposed to go to Boston and I just bought a one way
flight to wherever. I googled one way flights from
Asheville. That's where I was my hometown
to anywhere and it was like Austin in three days.
And I was like cool, went to Texas, stayed in Austin for like
2 weeks, met some like TikTok friends there, got on a train,
met this random lady from Argentina.
She's like don't go to San Antonio, come to Los Angeles
with me. And I'm not even fucking kidding
me and my 2 cats traveled on train across the country to
California with this random lady.
It was fun. But like, I still have a habit
of just being like, you know what?
Fuck you. Yeah, like, you know.
What this is giving like I went in my era, like starting in like
2020 when my spiritual awakening was like at its peak of like I
was really channelling my gifts. I was taking Reiki classes, I
was connecting with people from all over the world and I went
into this era of just like if you invited me to your city,
baby, I was getting a plane ticket and I was coming and I
did that. I went to New Orleans, I went to
fucking Arizona, I went to California and linked with girls
from the Internet like and at the time like we used to
FaceTime all the time. We used to talk.
So like I knew that it wasn't super sketchy, but like the fact
that I'm literally booking flights, people are picking me
up at the airport that I have never met.
Like it actually worked out really well until me and my
previous Co host met up in Utah with this girl from the Internet
who tried to kill us all. So yeah, like, you know, it's
all fun and games until someone tries to kill you.
So it's weird because I went through that phase and like
where I think that I'm not reckless.
I still am kind of reckless. I'm just like completely sober
doing it now. So it's like that crazy.
I'm like, oh, that's normal. And like it is funny because a
lot of people that I've told those stories to are like, I
would never do that. So I don't necessarily even see
it as reckless until you started talking about it.
And I have a very similar experience.
Like I got into my car and this was like a few years before I
knew what was going on with my spiritual journey.
And I just randomly got into my car and drove to Cleveland, OH,
parked my car at the train station and got on the train and
I met a girl, ended up at her mom's house and stayed the night
there. It was the craziest, wildest
thing that I've ever done, truly.
And that was like one of those things where it was like I
wasn't expecting to even meet someone.
And I didn't even realize I was even driving to Cleveland.
Like I was just in the car and I kind of was like going through a
spiritual psychosis where I was still trying to like, navigate
hearing all these voices so loudly and like trying to
process what was happening. And I am telling you, like, I
got into my car and within the hour, someone stole my phone at
a gas station. And so I had no phone.
And I'm in my car and it was like a smart car.
So it had like data and it connected on the phone.
So people were calling my car. So if the car is running, they
could get a hold of me. And I like, had to explain to
them that I did not have my phone.
And people just could not understand that my phone got
stolen and and I was just like, I'll be home in a few days.
Well, they put a missing persons out on me.
And when I finally made it home, I went to my grandmother's house
and she was like, you need to get ready.
We have to go to the Sheriff's Office because you have to do a
Wellness check or whatever. And so I was like, OK.
And she's like, no, you need to take a shower and put some
makeup on. You look rough.
And so I did that. And then we went to the
Sheriff's Office and they were just like, she looks fine to me.
And they just like cleared it. But like I was under some like
spiritual, like, I don't know what it was.
It was like one of those things where like I wasn't in control
anymore. Like I was driving, I was
moving, I was grooving, but I wasn't in control.
Yeah. So I something that I've really
taken in a lot, especially with stories like these, and it's
something that I've taken more perspective on recently because
so I've been specializing in alchemy for the last six years.
And for the last year I've been transitioning out of this
specially and into a new one. And sorry, the angle just fell
there, but I've been transitioning into the art of
integration, right? Which is it's still a
subcategory of alchemy. So I still kind of specialize.
I'm just moving into like a deeper subcategory.
But there were a lot of reasons for this, and the main one being
how my specialty was affecting my life because I was so used to
trauma and I'm so used to chaos, and my life was so traumatic
growing up that it was just always like this whirlwind
tornado. And so I stepped into alchemy
knowing this, knowing that all I had been handed in life was
darkness, and that's all I had to work with.
So that's why I found alchemy and that's why I specialized in
it, because it was one place that really valued those things
and turned them into something, right?
And it wasn't until I started to move into the integration
specialty that I started to recognize that a lot of the
trauma and chaos that's happened in the last few years of my life
wasn't like necessary written into my contract kind of chaos.
It was chaos that I was intentionally attracting to
myself. Random chaos because I'd gotten
so comfortable with creating something out of alchemy that I
had almost trained my energy to believe that I couldn't have
success without chaos. Wow.
And I think that a lot more people do this than we realize,
like especially those who've been infected by CPTSD and
trauma, like long term trauma or domestic violence, that it's
like you said, after traumatic situations, toxic situations, we
learned that that's when we alchemize the most.
We jump out of those situations and we create from them.
And a lot of times we walk ourselves into these like
straight up, like literal, like metaphoric Hells on earth on
purpose. And we'll sit back and we'll
reflect and be like, why would I fucking do that to myself?
Why would I stay there? And we never give ourselves the
answer of like, because you were learning from it, because you
were growing from it. You were being developing
characteristics and like traits. And like that's where you
develop the most as a person. And for me, I've gotten such
clearview on this kind of like now how that chaos really was
like feeding me in a specific way.
And now I've obviously made the conscious decision that like, I
don't need chaos to be stable. I don't need chaos to be.
And now my life is stabilizing in such a real way because I
have consciously made that determination.
But it's something that I think is really, really relevant when
we're looking back at those times where we're like, why
would I just ensue all of this chaos?
It's likely because you needed it, you know, like, and because
you experience that level of chaos and those levels of like,
I shouldn't have lived through that, you will never fear
anything for the rest of your life.
Oh my God, you know what I'm saying?
Like I am the least scared bitch of anything, like one of the
deepest. And I think This is why
sometimes I get reckless. I have a firm belief that I'm
not leaving this planet anytime soon.
I know some people are like, never take tomorrow for granted.
Tomorrow may not last. Bullshit.
The way they're not letting me leave this fucking place anytime
soon. They're dead ass.
Five things I want to add. So earlier we were talking no
and I wanted to say that my first word was no.
That's the very first word about my mouth was no.
And I've thought about writing a book called my first word was no
and thinking about like boundaries and things like that
like it like a self help kind of book.
And then another thing I was born on my dad's 26th birthday
and our birthday's on the 13th. So we have like Friday the 13th
birthdays and things like that. Well, when I was born my my
parents were like not really together.
They were definitely like karmic partners going through a lot
back and forth like my mom hit him with a car and like they
were just doing too much at the time at the trailer park.
They were just wild. And so my mom and my dad like
we're not on good terms at the hospital.
And whenever I was born back in like the 90s, I guess they
really didn't induce labor like early.
So my mom like carried me like over nine months, like 9 1/2
months. So when she finally went into
labor, it was like a 24 hour process.
But when I came out, I basically was like dead because I had
breathed in fecal matter because I was in there so long and I was
stuck in the birth canal. So they had to like pull me out.
Long story short, like I, I died and I have this very vivid
energy of like spirit or God or, or someone being like, no, get
back in there now. And then I like was born and
like I was supposed to be called Megan or Morgan and my mom just
randomly named me Paige. Just like that wasn't even on
the books. Like no one even knew that that
was even going to be a thing. And so flash forward now I live
in a condo that I purchased and someone named Megan overdosed
and died in my condo. And when I was going through my
awakening and getting sober and like really changing my life is
when I moved here seven years ago.
And I feel like Megan, since I was supposed to be a Megan, like
I feel connected to the woman who passed away here.
So I like looked her up on Facebook and we started like
really bonding. Well, at that time I was, I was
alkalizing, transmuting a lot of trauma, a lot of pain, a lot of
things I numbed out for years with alcohol and addiction.
And so during that, I was learning how to like break free
of debt because debt is a generational cycle that keeps
you stuck and keeps you in trauma loops and buying things
you don't need and, and things like that, that.
And so Megan was like helping me work through this.
And I was manifesting checks, like checks in the mail.
And she started getting checks in the mail.
And although we couldn't cash them together because she's
dead, she got several checks in the mail with her name on there.
And they were like, if this isn't claimed by the state, you
know, we've contacted this people like, it was like an
inheritance of some sort. And I was just like God or the
universe or whatever, like you said, like everything has a
bigger plan. And somehow I ended up here at
this perfect time and was able to like transmute and get sober
and like heal so much in this space that now I just feel like
that was always a part of the plan, like the whole plan.
And like you said, like I see myself as someone who's going to
be here for a really long time. I've always felt like that.
I've always felt like, no, I have time to go to Europe.
Like, no, I have time to do those things where other people
are like rushing. I don't feel rushed.
And I got a reading one time and they were like in your soul
plan, you're here to vibe and like teach people how to vibe,
like to live their life, like to be happy and content with where
we're at and like who we are. And like, I think that that's
been such the breakthrough for me is that I'm not trying to be
anything. I'm becoming who I've like,
forgotten. Yes, well, and I think that
that's the point. I tell people all the time, like
I'm not teaching you anything. I'm helping you remember
something. That's why I resonate with
people. Like like when you teach people
the deeper truth behind something or you say the deeper
truth, it's not about them believing you.
It's about them feeling something inside of themselves
that responds. Like like my favorite comments
aren't the ones that are like, I feel all of this.
It's the ones that go, you just made me unlock this.
You just made me realize this because it's not a process of
learning, it's a process of remembering.
It's so weird to me that like we fucking name like somebody else
names us on this planet, right? Like that's just so strange.
Like you literally forget everything when you come here.
And like the people who remember, like Mateus to Stefano
or those who have like memory of like where they came from their
past lives, like all of those things and they're born with
that. They're like strange to us on
this planet. And I'm like, you guys know
that's like fucking normal on other planets, right?
Like you don't forget when you Incarnate other places.
Like that's what makes Earth hard is the forgetting.
But I also think that that's what makes teaching so
beautiful. You know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't want anyone to believe me.
I want you to come and have these experiences.
I want you to see what I have seen and feel what I felt.
I want you to have original experiences that so that it's
not a process of I think it's a process of I know you know what
I'm saying. There are things on this planet
you can never convince me otherwise of because I've seen
and felt them. You know what I'm saying?
Like, and if I'm crazy, let me be.
I don't give a fuck actually. If this is my delusion, fine,
I'm happy in it. And if none of this is real, OK.
If I'm somewhere in a padded room, leave me the fuck alone.
Don't give me medication, don't try to fix me.
I don't even care. Like this is just one of those
things of like this is my experience.
And the one thing that I encourage people to trust above
everything else is their own experience.
Again, however, if you're a person who knows you have
predisposition of hyposis or a problem like that, please go see
a therapist. Do not listen to me when I say
these things. But I really think that it's one
of those things where, like, you know, your own experience is the
one thing that you can trust. And like, I was raised in blind
faith and I think it's such bullshit because like, what do
you mean I have to trust in something that can't talk back
to me? That's the most insane shit I've
ever heard. If your gut doesn't talk to you,
bitch, they don't like you. Find a new one.
You know, I feel like we have just been brainwashed to not
trust ourselves and to like seek out answers.
And I'm always trying to tell my grandma like, please turn off
the news, grandma. Like, please, please, please
turn off the news. And she just gets so worked up
over things. But like, my grandmother is
like, that's like my best friend in this life.
Like we like I have her name tattooed on me.
Like we're just really close. And she like had to go do all
these tests and all these things.
And I'm always just like, my grandmother's going to live.
So she's 100. Like she's just going to be here
forever. And she went and she was like, I
had all of these tests that they ordered and guess what?
They came back 100% perfect. Smoke cigarettes, like a freight
train. But I'm always like that.
My grandma can do that. Like she's been through a lot.
Like she can smoke and she'll be fine.
But, you know, it's weird because so many people are so
attached to like life and material and like, you know,
their names or their roles that they play or their rules or
their, you know, titles, if you will.
And like the more that I have just detached from thinking any
certain thing, but like you said, just existing and like
moving into it the way that it feels natural for you has really
helped me. Like, I don't care how I know
the information. I just know that I know it.
And you can either take that or you can leave that because it
does not change what I believe or how I feel.
And that's why I think my journey like really resonated
with what your messages and like what you were putting out that I
instantly was like, Oh my gosh, I want to connect with this girl
because just seems so like apologetic about where you're
at. And that is so inspiring because
Spirit told me like 5 years ago that authenticity and like
really just following your heart would open the doors that need
to open and like, we'll take care of it.
And I just trusted that. Like I didn't question.
I was scared. I was like, what do you mean?
Like people will just find me? And then what do you know,
people just find you. It's like natural.
Yeah, well, and I think that people don't understand the
authenticity of the basis is like the basis of it all.
People are constantly looking for like a way to live.
However the fuck you feel like honestly is the answer.
Like there's not a moral code that each that every person
supposed to follow. There's not rules.
Like it's literally about living in alignment to you and like
being cool with it when that's not always the greatest person
because judging yourself when you're not the greatest person
is only going to make you be a worse one.
Like I've never met one singular bad person that you hand them
judgement and they become a better person ever in my entire
fucking life dude. Like it's just one of those
things of like understanding where you're coming from and I
think is always the best route. Like it's not about you were
wrong like ever telling yourself you were wrong about a behavior
or you feel the wrong way or you think the wrong way.
So much is ascertaining to why you feel that way in the 1st
place or why you behave that way in the 1st place.
And that level of self understanding, that constant
asking yourself why you behave that way and how you would
prefer to behave is going to really switch your mind who
you're becoming and get us away from those aspects of like,
expecting someone else to tell us how to live.
I don't expect anyone to live like me.
Actually. You'd all probably die if you
tried, honestly. Like, I'm not even fucking
kidding. This shit's dangerous.
My cats but not be happy about your story about taking your
cats with you on the train. My cats would have flipped their
shit. They would have been like, look
lady, I don't know what the fuck you're doing, but you better get
me back to my bed. Back in.
I get that comment so much because my cats have they've
been to 26 states now. They travel with me everywhere.
I like hit this point where I was like because my last apt I
was paying so much fucking money.
It was literally like several $1000 a month for my cats to
live in an 18 story high rise because I was never fucking home
because I was just touring like 10 months out of the year.
It was insane. And I was having cat sitters
time there. It was just so expensive and I
felt like it was so unfair of my cats because they just like we
were so connected. And so one day I was like fuck
this. And when my mom got sick I was
like I'm taking them they're just coming with me.
And they got on their first plane and they loved it.
They were so good. And my cats really like high
windows. Like I said, we were living in
an 18 apartment, so like, they were already used to being up
high and they loved the plane. Like airport security stretched
them out a little bit. But besides that, they loved
making friends. And they have this little
backpack that's like a clear bubble window and they just like
to cuddle with each other. And they've been on so many
plane rides. I can't even tell you.
My cats are more well traveled than most people I know.
And then the vast majority of them, honestly, they love
traveling trainers in the potty, trained like on a human toilet.
So like, it makes the travel process just really easy.
And yeah, they'll like, let me know if if they like the hotel
room that we're in or not. They're very spoiled cats.
So like, they won't drink anything except ice water.
One of them, I missed a flight in Austin because one of them
got out of my friend's house and I missed a flight because of her
and had to leave like a week later.
And my friend was like, aren't you worried about her coming
back? And I was like, no, because
like, she's going to start getting thirsty and who's going
to know to give her ice water? How is she going to communicate
that with any other adult? Who's she going to live with?
Like, nobody's going to serve these cats and the way I serve
these cats. So yeah, they're like the best.
And people commentate a lot on like, how well behaved they are.
And I'm like, yeah, they have to be to be my cats.
Like, dude, I would the one time my cat, like, really upset me,
it was so for the younger 1. And I like, looked her in the
face and I was like, I will send you to the pound next time.
And I meant that she was my whole sober.
She hasn't acted up again since. It's just like they're really
well behaved cats. They're very sweet and they're
just so quiet. They like, just cuddle and like
hang out and like, they never cause any problems.
Most people don't even know they're there when I'm
traveling. Like people are shocked when I,
like, go to leave And they're like those cats been on the
plane for seven hours and like, of course I have.
And you know about the potty training, Like, how did you do
that? Because that sounds like heaven.
It was so much easier than I thought it was gonna be.
So I was traveling through Texas and so basically when I travel
and I'm like moving from hotel to hotel, I'll just like throw
out the entire litter box I bought in the last place and
just buy a new one already because I'm not traveling with a
dirty litter box even if I cleaned it like it's just a lot.
But it seemed, it seemed just super wasteful and it was also
expensive. And it, it worked a little bit
better when I was staying in like 1 city for like 2 weeks and
then moving to the next one. But when I was traveling through
Texas, I was moving like week to week from city to city and it
was just so stupid. So I was like looking online for
like potty training cats and I found this kit that like has
like, I guess like, pull out tabs where you like, train them
up on it. But I was like, OK, so I tried
to find a PetSmart. None of the stores near me had
one anywhere. And I was like, all right, I'm
just going to engineer this shit.
And so I just took a plastic bag.
I put it over like the toilets, like the actual toilet, and then
drop the toilet seat over it. And I just filled it with a
little bit like cat litter. And I figured, like with the
bag, I could just pull the cat litter and everything out so
nothing would get like flushed in like the hotel's toilet.
Like I didn't want to damage their shit or whatever.
And within an hour I hear something and I was like, no
fucking way. And I go in and six, he was like
my soul. She was using it.
And I was like, there's no fucking way, bro.
Within an hour, she like got the picture immediately she got the
program and I was like, this is crazy.
And so I started to move it like halfway, oh, like halfway to the
toilet. So like half of it was litter in
a plastic bag and the other half was just a toilet, like trying
to like close the gap. And as soon as I did that, 6
started using like the space behind it.
Like I could hear her peeing in the water.
And I was like, bro, this is awesome.
The hardest part, I think, was getting them not to dig.
Like his cats have a natural instinct to bear.
So like, I think that that was the hardest part.
But I taught her to flush instead of dig, like to like
push up on that. And she picked it up really
easy. And I was worried about the
younger cat, but six, my older cat trained her on how to use it
in like 4 or five days. So in under a week in a random
city in Texas, both of my cats were potty trained.
I know, I know. And some of those moments make
me believe in witchcraft more than anything else.
I'm like, no, you don't understand.
Me and my cats have celebrity. Like they can hear me okay,
like. It was funny because I was like
going live at that time like two or three times a week.
So like the people on my life kind of like watched my cat get
potty trained with me. It was kind of cool to like
experience with my audience. They were like, that's the
craziest shit I've ever seen in my entire life.
I was like 6 is a fucking smart cat, bro.
She's intelligent. She already used like the
shower. Like she was already trained to
a place where like if she didn't have a litter box and needed to
use 1 and I brought her to a place for the shower, she just
like use it. Hi Kitten AS.
Soon as you were talking about Soul Cat, he was like, all
right, fine, I'll get up. He's both of mine are also black
I. Love that.
That'll be fine. I'll get up from my nap for this
is Phoenix. He's a spoiled boy.
He has big fangs. So I'm gonna show him your
fangs. I.
Love that. Oh my goodness, these are big.
Yeah, they're really big. And one time there was a pet
psychic that I took him to and that I was like, I was like, I
had to get in decalled as a kitten because he he was very
aggressive, like like mean aggressive.
And so she was like, well, he just wants you to know that
that's okay because he, he likes to bite instead.
And I was like, yeah, but like, he'll bite really hard.
And I was like, why does he do that?
I was like, I'm always afraid of like new people coming around
him because he likes to bite. And she was like, well, he said
he doesn't draw blood, so it's fine.
And I'm like, that is literally like, if you look at him, that's
like. That's such a good answer.
But that is such a real fucking fact.
And like he always, he's like my Egyptian Kitty cat.
He was like my guard cat. And so he's like, like really,
really been such a beautiful animal and like, he's so spoiled
and like, he cracks me up because he thinks he's going to
like run outside and then he'll get out there and he'll, he'll
get scared and he'll want to come back in like instantly.
And I'm like, see, you're not even big.
Like you think you are. Like you're not, you're not a
big scary Panther like you were in a past life.
Like you better get your ass in this house.
But you know, I think animals in general have such a spiritual
quality. But like cats, I've always been
a cat person and I've always just like, I've just always
known that I was going to have cats.
Like I want Loki to have a farm so I can have like all kinds of
cats, like outdoor cats. I'd love that.
See, that's so valid. You know, both of mine are
indoor cats and six got out twice and got pregnant both
times. She's just kind of a hoe.
And then she got out in Texas once again.
And but her thing is like she'll go on like whole ass adventures
bro. She'll be gone for like 3-4
days. And I'm just like dude, I can't
blame her though because I also disappear for like weeks at a
time from everyone who knows me. So like I what am I supposed to
do? Get mad?
You know what I'm saying? And she's just like yeah they're
both indoor cats and I love them but like I was never allowed to
have animals growing up. 6 was my first cat ever and then she
had a litter of 6 all Black Cats which is so rare and I rehomed
all of them. And then we went to a new state
and she got out again and got pregnant again and had another
litter of 6 all Black Cats. And I was like, OK, well I have
to keep 1, so that's where I got sulfur from.
And yeah, they're the cutest thing ever together.
But like 6 refuses to be her mom. 6 is like her sister.
Like as soon as they were like done breastfeeding, 6 was like,
get these things the fuck away from me, get them out of my
house. And now with sulfur, she's like,
yeah, like she doesn't like parent her, but she's like very
like sister like with her, which is really funny because that's
like me and my biological mom. Were they like the exact same
way? I'm like, you're my mom, but
you're, you're like my sister, you know what I'm saying?
Like like I. Kind of have that relationship
with my mom too, because like I'm an only child.
My mom is an only child and me and her have always had like a
sisterly connection, which has always like LED us to butt
heads. But like a lot of my healing was
realizing that like my mom was just someone in her 20s like
trying to figure it out and she really didn't have a good grip
on it. And she's still like invited the
friends over for the smoke sesh even though she had a four year
old that could smell it, you know, like she was just like
vibing. And I always like to say like
I'm literally like at my mom's age and she had a toddler, like
she had a fucking child. And my mom like really did do
her best when I was like 10 and younger.
But then like 10 and older, I like started getting exposed to
things or she wasn't around or neighbors or, you know, it just
shit happens. And like being able to take that
blame away and just be like my mom was just human.
She was going through her own shit, her own addictions, her
own alcoholism, like dealing with her own trauma from her dad
passing away when she was young. Like she just didn't know.
Like she like she wanted me to be like her friend, like rather
than her daughter because she was just alone.
And like, she just wanted someone to like see her or be
there with her. I don't know.
So like, a lot of my healing was just like giving people grace to
like, just be the 2030 year old that they were without expecting
them to have it all figured out. Yeah.
Well, and I think, I think, you know, there's a phrase that goes
around in like the normal people world of like, it's your mom's
first time living too. And I don't really necessarily
believe that, but I do think that it's relevant to like,
because I, in contrast, I, I have these moments a lot where
like I was just getting really fed up, which is like whatever
in life is happening. Or I'll just get really
overwhelmed and I'll like start crying and I'll just talk to the
universe and I'll be like, I understand.
I'm Mariah and I'm like, this is my job and like, it's important
or whatever. But I'm also a 28 year old girl.
I'm also a 27 year old girl and I deserve to be treated like
that sometimes. Like sometimes you just have to
let me be a fucking normal person.
And like I understand like the life path or whatever.
And I try to apply that to people, you know what I'm
saying? Like the older I've gotten, the
more I've understood every single decision and every single
mindset my biological mother ever had.
Like the older I've gotten, the more I just like, even if I
wouldn't have made that choice, I understand exactly how she got
there. I understand exactly how she
thought that that was going to work out.
I don't think she's stupid for making that decision, you know
what I'm saying? Like she, she took like a
chance. And again, I've been the person
who took bad chances that hurt other people.
But I think that for me, I love the person that I've become so
much that I don't really resent the people who created it, even
in a harmful way. Like I was abused very heavily
by a grown man in my childhood. I don't hate him.
Had that not happened to me, there are thousands of people I
never could have connected with. There's that hundreds of
thousands of people that I've taught beautiful lessons to.
I have changed entire lives through my trauma.
Like there every single beautiful thing about me has
come through someone being a complete piece of shit to me
when I didn't deserve it, almost every beautiful part and the
person I chose to become through that.
And I like really don't regret anything that's ever happened to
me. And I understand, I guess at
this point in my life, how everything was always meant to
happen in exactly the way that it was.
But it's helped me find so much forgiveness for every person,
whoever hurt me because like, and it's kind of fucked up to
think about sometimes, you know, because I think about soul
contracts and the fact that like, we make agreements with
basically every person we meet on this planet to play those
roles in each other's lives, you know, and that's my like
fundamental belief. And to think that a soul
genuinely cared about my evolution so deeply that they
agreed to come and play such an awful fucking role in my life.
It's kind of powerful when you think about it.
Like that soul chose to make, and I don't know what their soul
was learning. For whatever reason, their soul
had to like learn to be an abuser.
They, they had to choose an entire incarnation of being a
shitty person. I, I can only imagine what that
soul was like learning in the process.
And it's really helped me find a lot of contentment in like, not
taking things personally, you know what I'm saying?
Because like, and also simultaneously taking them super
personally, like understanding I am so important have always been
the most important part of the story, but also understanding
that, like, they weren't doing that to me because I'm an awful
shitty person. Actually, On the contrary, the
universe allowed me to experience that so I could
become so much more than I was before that prior to that, you
know? And it's just really interesting
concepts to think around. Yeah, you know, adding to that,
approaching things with curiosity has helped me so
fucking much. Rather than judging and just
being curious as to like why that unfolded like that, why
that situation was like that. And another thing, I read the
four agreements, which is like don't take things personally.
And that is literally stuck with me.
Like be impeccable with your word and don't think things
personally has changed my life because I seen in the past where
I used my words, my spells to hurt people, to say some things,
to be a fucking bitch. And like although that part of
me still exists in there somewhere when I want to be like
that, I just silence. I just block you or I just
remove you or I just completely detach because like, even though
I know you're doing something wrong or I know you're being a
manipulative liar, crackhead fool, whatever you're doing, I'm
gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do it because
that's the new me. The new me is at grace and at
peace with things being exactly how they are without me trying
to control them or trying to change them or trying to
influence them. And I think that is like the
most powerful thing that people can learn right now is like,
don't just let people have access to you like that.
Like don't be letting them ruffle your feathers and get you
in your feels like that because you're literally handling
handing your torch to them and saying cool, light your fire.
I'm gonna set over here in the cold.
Yeah, yeah, I something I do is I physically separate and apply
a processing fan mentally because like I forget people
exist, honestly, like even my friends who I talk to you like I
just forget that everyone else exists.
It's funny to me because like on social media people will be
like, who do you watch on social media and the most?
And it's like me, I don't watch other people's stories or like,
you know what I'm saying? Like it's just kind of like, and
I watch a lot of my own content because I'm channeling to me
too. Like I also learned from that.
And I think that it's one of those things of like, I will
forget somebody exists. But when you have really
irritated me, you'll you'll fall back in my brain a lot.
And I have a bad habit of unintentionally cursing people
by like wanting them to grow. Like I just like, I'll want you
to grow. But the way that I learn and the
way that I grow is like trial by fire.
So if I like without intention, I'm like, you can grow from
that. I'm literally sending that
person hell on earth. Quite frankly, like I say all
the time, other people couldn't deal with, I deal with what I
deal with. But then when somebody like
needs to learn something, I'm like, you learn it this way
knowing they can't deal with it. So I, so I started applying
something called a processing fan.
So like when people who have irritated me start to come up in
my brain, I just have like a little fan in my brain that I
apply on both sides. So it helps me process whatever
feelings I'm having, whatever judgments I'm having, but it
also helps them process through the lens of understanding how
they were so goddamn wrong. And it makes my human side feel
better. But also it's my spiritual side
because I'm like allowing myself to process, but also physically
healing. Because like, for me, I, I don't
know, I can be such a bitch when someone really does me dirty.
Because like, why the fuck would you do that, ho?
Like whatever you were jealous of or envious of or whatever the
issue was. I'm the easiest fucking person
to talk to genuinely. I mean, unless you're a bitch,
but that's besides the point. But like, I, I'm really
commutative and I just like, I, I, I tend to believe that I
handle things well. So when people go out of their
way to kind of like wrong me, it upsets me.
And this processing fan just really helps me not be a fucking
cunt with my energy and thoughts and words.
You know what I'm saying? Because I have a bad habit of
just being like, all right, well, you'll learn one way or
another, and you can watch this one.
I hope you enjoyed this, you know.
It's actually been a big part of my practice is like activating
people's spiritual awakenings. It's like, oh, you want to try
to disrupt my piece? I'm going to go ahead and show
you the mirror and you're going to focus on your own spiritual
awakening or you're going to focus on your own growth or your
own healing. Because the only reason people
want to project or try to dim someone else's light is based on
their own insecurities, based on their own, like you said,
jealousy or envy or whatever it is.
And that's the thing that people don't realize is like high
vibration and low vibration doesn't necessarily mean good or
bad because a high vibration could be excitement, but it
could also be anger. And a low vibration could be
peace and it could also be sadness.
You know, like people like to dictate things as like high vibe
or low vibe or that's still in my vibe.
But like all vibes have a place on the spectrum, you know what I
mean? Like all vibes have a place, but
me choosing peace rather than giving you a reaction is me
truly staying in my energy because most times when we are
being tested, it's because like your guys in the universe is
like sitting there with popcorn. Like, how is she going to handle
this? Is she going to react?
Is she going to give her power away?
And you know, like even just like what you said earlier at
the beginning of the interview, you're not getting a lot of hate
on TikTok because your vibration is repelling that in a way that
like it can't penetrate your vibe.
Like even if they did try to say something like it's not really
going to affect you. So they'd rather go to someone
else's page and be like fat whore or you're ugly or, you
know, whatever it is to try to get a reaction from them.
So like they know, and earlier I made a post because I've just
been finding out that a lot of people that I thought were my
friends don't actually like me or they just think that they're
going to benefit from me or they think that they can, you know,
get some type of exposure. And, you know, as a TikTok
creator, I'm sure you've experienced this.
Do you have people that just like, want to be friends to make
content with you or just like want to hang out with you
because you're cool on the Internet or is that something?
I think that I deal with this in like day-to-day life.
Like not even more so on the Internet.
Like I had a certain point where like one of my friends had to
point out to me that like I had to stop like seeing clients as
like friends who I could like meet in places and it be like a
normal situation because they just don't see me like that.
And so I have like those issues, But I think that that more
becomes a problem for me in like day-to-day life where people
just get really caught up by like the concept of me that I
feel like people don't have. And I don't think it's their
fault. I, I think that the deeper I
become, there's a certain sense of loneliness that comes with it
because I become a more difficult person to, for like
the average person to understand like the things that I say and
discuss casually as like base beliefs or like core common
sense are so far fetched for like the average individual.
And I realize it really quickly when I like date or like go out
in public and I'm like having conversations with people at
like bars while having dinner or like while I'm traveling or like
things like that, that just like my day-to-day, just kind of like
Common Core thoughts are things that I have to explain in depth
to others. And so I think that I have more
of a difficulty with like people in like day-to-day life becoming
really attached to like the concept of me because I am such
a multifaceted individual and I have a lot of different hobbies
and skills and like conversations.
And there's not really a topic that I can't get involved in.
I'm pretty well versed in like most pieces of information.
And so like, I, I think that I have, I think that's why I'm
also so authentic online and so transparent online, because I
don't want to be perceived by, you know, the, the external, you
know, But I think that the more in depth I get with myself and
my like, own complexities and intricacies, the more that like
people feel distant to me. And I think that that's why a
teacher such like a reverence, I would love nothing more than to
give so many people all of the information I can to make myself
more understood as a person. You know what I'm saying?
I think that that like a lot of the reason that I've learned
such deep communication skills is because I've always just
wanted to be able to communicate myself in the way that I
experience the world. And the deeper that I get into
understanding how I experience the world, the more complexity
there is to explain. And yeah, so I like, I think
that it's something that I'm like coming around, but I'm
starting to find people or I'm starting to find not people
because I've always had them. I guess I'm starting to find
enjoyment in the experience of people experiencing different
versions of me and being comfortable with that, you know
what I'm saying? Like somebody experiencing me in
like full totality and understanding that would be
really, really difficult. And I think that that's why I
feel almost more connected to people on the Internet than I do
people in real life, because people on the Internet genuinely
listen to my videos. I will literally talk for 10
minutes straight and they will literally go and scroll through
nine more of my videos. And I feel like they understand
me almost better, if that makes sense.
I feel like I feel more disrespected or like used by
like people I know than I do by strangers on the Internet
because I think that the strangers and again, quote UN
quote strangers because again, I feel like these people really
know me. It never freaks me out when
people book appointments and they're like, I literally feel
like I know you as a person. And I'm like, I bet you do if
you watch my videos as much as you say you do, I'm sure of it.
And I feel like those people have more of like a reverence
and an honor and a respect for like who I am as a person
because they've actually taken the time to know me in such
complexities, because they want to know themselves in such
complexities. And so I don't feel bad about it
though, because like, I don't want to say that like my friends
were shallow before, but like, because my, my friends are all
really, really interesting people with really, really
interesting hobbies. However, they weren't people who
were like super interested in like the universe or like the
knowledge of life. Like in a lot of my friend
groups, I've always been like the most like educated person as
far as like college education and things like that.
So like, I, I don't think that it's like something I take super
personally because that's just not who they are.
You know what I'm saying? They're not really people who
like want to know the complexities of life.
But yeah, I would say I have a really different relationship
now with people I used to know personally than I do with like,
kind of like my clientele, dude. Some of my clients know more
about me than some of the people who I've known for 1415 years,
like some of the friends I have that are.
Like amazing because that actually is cycling around.
Someone just tagged me and it's on my story.
You will literally be supported by strangers way more than
you're going to be supported by someone that you know, And I
said that also, like as you're growing and changing and
elevating and they're staying the same or they're staying
stagnant, you make them uncomfortable because you're
challenging their status quo, challenging, you know, their
comfort zone. And you know, it's funny because
I grew up in a really small town and like grew up around people
who really are stuck in some deep generational cycles.
Like, there was literally kids when I was in middle school
bringing like, pounds of weed to school and selling it and stuff.
Like these kids, like, know nothing else but survival.
And it's just wild to see those cycles continue to play out in
their adult life because they never chose to, like, get out of
the hometown or like, get out of these cycles and spaces.
And, you know, so many people have wonderful talents,
wonderful abilities, but they're too worried about how someone's
going to perceive them, judge them, them or whatever it is.
And they don't put it out there. And I think that as we wrap up
this episode, I really want to know, like, if you had to say
one thing to the audience, like, what would that be like?
What would be your final message for the audience?
Because we have literally had the best conversation.
Like, you're going to have to come back.
This is literally probably one of the longest interviews I've
ever done. Yeah, no problem.
I really appreciate it's been a great interview.
The one thing that I would probably give the one piece of
advice to any person is to never live by the standard that anyone
else has you to really evaluate your own personal standards of
self and who you want to become and lay down any concept of
being a good person or bad person or living up to any other
person's expectations. But really ask yourself who you
want to be on an energetic scale, on a physical scale, on a
mental scale. Ask yourself who you're becoming
and begin to become you. Stop trying to be a good person.
Stop trying to be a Good Wife or a good daughter or a good mom
and start trying to be the best version of you for you, no
matter what that means. And I promise you that you will
take 1000 times better care of every parent and every every
spouse and every child and every person around you because you're
coming from a place of genuine love for the self.
And that's where genuine love sources from.
So that would be my advice for every person.
I love it so much. Mariah, thank you so much for
sharing your energy with us and you all.
In the description, you'll be able to find all of her social
medias. If you want to follow, reach out
or get a reading. Tap in with Mariah.
And thank you so much for coming on.
We will see you all next time in Candy Land.
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