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You want to be my man? 
Welcome back to another episode 

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of Candy Land. 
We are so grateful. 

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Tonight we have an amazing 
guest, Mariah the witch. 

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I originally found her on 
TikTok. 

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And what I really loved about 
you, Mariah, is that you were 

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like, instead of sending spells 
and like, hexes out to the 

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patriarchy, you need to work on 
yourself. 

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And you need to like, focus on 
yourself. 

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And like, if you all raise your 
vibration, like, you'll break 

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this matrix or you're like, 
you'll break this paradigm. 

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And I felt that, like, welcome. 
Thank you for coming. 

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Yeah, I appreciate it. 
I appreciate you having me. 

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I'm super excited to be here and
super excited to just chit chat 

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and get to know you a little bit
better. 

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I know I'm so excited. 
I, like I said, I have some 

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questions and stuff, but only 
because I'm like really 

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interested in your craft and 
your journey. 

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And I really, really appreciate 
your transparency on TikTok 

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because I took a few years off 
of TikTok and then came back and

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that's when I found you. 
And I was like, you're the only 

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person that I've resonated with 
as far as like new creators that

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I've found. 
Yeah, this year. 

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I love that so much. 
I really enjoy the aspect of 

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TikTok for community and like 
it's like the one place where 

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it's like I'm so lucky that I 
come across as intimidating 

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because I especially some people
have a bad experience on TikTok.

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Mine is exclusive for like 
really cool people, you know 

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what I'm saying? 
Like, I really don't deal with 

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much drama on there. 
It's genuinely just like people 

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who want to get to know me and 
like people who resonate with 

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the message. 
And I really enjoy like the 

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community aspect of it and 
meeting people there, you know? 

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Yeah, Tick Tock has been a big 
part of my journey because I 

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originally, like, hopped on it, 
you know, five years ago before 

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the craze of like Tick Tock. 
And so I was able to get a lot 

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of followers and likes 
initially. 

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So I love that you said that you
haven't had a lot of negativity 

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on TikTok. 
I think that there were a lot of

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clicks in the witch talk, like 
arena, and I never really made 

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it over there. 
I was more on like tarot talk 

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and then I kind of stopped 
resonating with like the twin 

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plane, like love messages, which
when I started my journey, I was

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very into that. 
And I understand that that was 

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important for me at the time. 
But now I totally think that 

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that is such a scam of the 
patriarchy to think that you 

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need to seek out a relationship 
to be whole. 

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Yeah, I agree completely. 
And I think I've always kind of 

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been more of a solitary 
practitioner just because I 

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think that I think that 
everyone's path is really unique

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to them, you know what I'm 
saying? 

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And maybe it's just kind of like
my separate, like my separation 

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from organized religion as like 
like growing up. 

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But yeah, I've always kind of 
been more of a solitary 

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practitioner. 
And I think that it's really 

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helped me out in social media 
that I like have connections, 

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but I don't feel like I belong 
to a group. 

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And for me that's really 
effective, you know what I'm 

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saying? 
Because it doesn't really kind 

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of like tie me to anyone side of
any problem which talk. 

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They're just kind of can be 
those saying, you know what I'm 

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saying. 
So it's kind of nice to be an 

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observer in a lot of these 
situations because I, I guess 

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like I think that there are 
places where it's important to 

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be involved and be vocal about 
situations. 

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And the vast majority of things 
on TikTok just aren't those 

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things, you know? 
Yes. 

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Like the drama that has happened
on those different channels was 

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kind of like the reason why I 
was glad that I never was a part

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of all that. 
Like I was posting tarot 

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messages and going live like 
five years ago when no one was 

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doing that. 
So I was getting a lot of 

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traction. 
But I really did deeply fill the

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messages. 
Like I wasn't just air balling, 

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like making shit up. 
But like it did help me practice

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did help me build a pretty big 
following and you know it. 

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It gave me confidence. 
I think that's what talk, being 

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able to get on a video, get on a
podcast, get on a call with a 

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stranger. 
It takes a lot of talent and a 

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lot of like strength to do that.
Like especially as a witch or as

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someone who's offering services.
Do you do live services with 

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people? 
Yeah. 

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So, so the way that most of my 
kind of like work kind of 

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functions is live services. 
That's where I do my best work. 

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I don't know, I've had a lot of 
people across the years who like

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in like a business brained 
mindset, like encouraged me to 

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like create and just sell the 
courses. 

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So I don't actually have to like
physically teach the classes or 

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like take the time. 
But I just, I don't know, 

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there's something about my work 
that feels like it needs an 

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individual there that kind of 
like, and I guess so specialized

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in alchemy. 
And so a lot of my work is 

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really focused around trauma and
focused around kind of like the 

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dark spaces and more 
subconscious places in life. 

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And a lot of my clientele come 
to me for a very unique 

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perspective on processing 
through and breaking down that 

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darkness. 
And I think that having someone 

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to hold your hand through those 
things can be really comforting.

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And a lot of times, the reason 
that people are so afraid of 

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those spaces is because they've 
never had someone be able to 

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meet them there and be like, no,
I'll sit here with you. 

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You know what I'm saying? 
I think that with like religion 

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and I think that with societies 
and even our relationships with 

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other people, we're often sent 
to deal with like the hardest 

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parts of ourselves alone. 
And I have this really unique 

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position in life with my job 
where like I kind of am able to 

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just go to those hard places 
with people and just sit with 

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them there and tell them it's 
OK. 

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And so a lot of my work is 
one-on-one kind of focused. 

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I do run courses of like 
multiple groups of people at 

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once. 
And most of those courses are 

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kind of the ones where the 
education is more cohesive with 

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other people's opinions. 
The next branch of my career 

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will definitely be more kind of 
like group based, like audience 

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based work, like kind of like 
public speaking, because I find 

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that channeled messages kind of 
like resonate with everyone as 

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the channeler and the receiver. 
So when you give people the 

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opportunity to speak during a 
channeled message and you 

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respond to them, they're also 
speaking for 10 other 15 other 

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twenty other people in the 
audience. 

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And that's why TikTok and 
connective social medias are so 

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effective because everything is 
a collective message at the end 

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of the day. 
Like, like the reason that we 

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find so much on the Internet, 
like, oh, I've never had like, 

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quote, UN quote, unique 
experience. 

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There's a reason for that. 
We're all following these very 

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universal patterns and we may 
interpret them differently and 

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experience them differently in 
our own external realities. 

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But at the end of the day, 
especially as a reader and 

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people come to me for reading, 
some people come to me for 

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solutions. 
You'll see 5070 people from all 

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over the world going through the
exact same thing with different 

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faces. 
You know what I'm saying? 

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It's the exact same pattern. 
They're all just kind of 

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experiencing it differently. 
And I think that, yeah, there's 

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like a lot of like help that and
benefit that can be gained from 

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collective courses. 
So I have certain courses that 

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run that way, but a lot of my 
work is done one-on-one 

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individually with the person. 
It's a lot of mediation. 

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And for me, everything ties back
to those shadow work and some 

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chemical concepts and people 
really like that perspective 

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within me that like, I'm going 
to constantly bring it back to 

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like your trauma, your 
perspective, and are you 

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projecting? 
But like also it's going to help

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you heal the world. 
Do that. 

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And it's like you said, you 
know, a lot of people find me 

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for those videos where I'm like,
can you guys stop trying to 

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control the external world and 
please try and focus on yourself

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for just a goddamn second. 
It'll fix everything, I promise.

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And it's one of my main 
philosophies in life that if 

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every person became more 
selfish, the world would be a 

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better place. 
If everyone was so, so focused 

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on their own alignment and their
own path and the people they 

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care about and the things they 
what to do in life, we would all

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be far better off because no one
would be tied up with the drama 

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and the constant kind of like 
caring of other people's lives 

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and things like that. 
So yeah, I like to focus on the 

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individual. 
I think it's really important. 

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And I think that focusing that 
importance on that individual 

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repeatedly really, really helps.
And it's something that I 

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practice a lot in my, my like 
day-to-day when people are like,

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thank you so much for your help 
or your guidance or I couldn't 

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have gotten here without you. 
And you constantly, especially 

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in the positions of like being a
teacher, have to reroute that 

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and hand that power back to them
because it's so important in a 

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society where every turn people 
are taught to hand their power 

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to other people. 
And you see it so much in this 

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line of work. 
People being like, this is 

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because of you. 
No, it's absolutely not. 

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I guided you, babe. 
You walk this path. 

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I was like flying above 
twinkling. 

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Like I've already walked this 
path 9 times. 

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This was hard for you. 
You know what I'm saying? 

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You should. 
I appreciate yourself for it. 

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So yeah, I think that like the 
importance of individual is a 

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really big part of all of my 
work and I tend to focus on it a

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lot. 
You know, I really see you as 

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like a writer in past life, like
I see you as like a channel who 

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has like wrote so many texts. 
And I'm sure you knew that or 

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know that. 
But I feel like you may even 

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like in this lifetime be 
stumbling upon information that 

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you put out in a past life kind 
of thing. 

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There's no question. 
So I actually, I think I've said

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this maybe in a, in a tick 
tocker too. 

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I have far more memory of like 
my existence outside of 

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incarnation than I do within it.
Like I have, I have, I would say

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more memory of past lives than 
the average person does. 

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I have a pretty collective 
aspect of like some of my past 

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lives, but I remember far more 
of my existence in between and 

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prior to life and prior to the 
third dimension. 

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Like my soul existed prior to 
this dimension. 

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And I'll come across it 
sometimes places where like I 

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can feel that my soul interfered
with the algorithm that I'm 

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working with in his lifetime. 
And it's such a unique 

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experience to hold to like be 
experiencing something that your

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soul helps write or create. 
And I think that it's such a 

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powerful creator aspect that I 
come across a lot. 

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And it brings me to tears almost
every time to realize, to 

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remember when this all was like 
a dream. 

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Like before we could like forget
anything or like hug one another

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or like give physical birth or 
like hold hands and like to 

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experience magic in its form. 
It's, it's really, I don't know,

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just life in general really 
catches me off guard because 

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it's just really beautiful. 
And yeah, writing and 

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algorithms, the mathematics of 
life has always really inspired 

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my soul. 
Philosophy, bro. 

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I could read philosophy, but 
like 9 hours straight every day.

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That's just my life. 
And be so content with it, 

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honestly. 
You know, that's what I really 

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love about where we're at right 
now and like the age of 

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information, because there is so
much information, there's so 

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much content. 
Even if like you don't want to 

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sit down to read the book, there
is someone who has broke that 

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down in concepts and chapters. 
And you know, that's what I love

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about where we're at right now 
is because you and I both have 

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been killed, blocked and 
persecuted for spiritual, you 

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know, tingling and wisdom and 
healing and past lives. 

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And that's why, like my 
ancestors are always like, no, 

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bitch, you need to pop your shit
for us. 

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Like you need to do it for us 
because we have like put you in 

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this position to be whoever you 
want to be to, you know, feel 

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sexy, to feel seen, to get 
tattooed, to just express 

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yourself in whatever way. 
And like, I will never take that

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for granted in this existence. 
Every day I'm like Mother Earth,

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just like, thank you for this 
beautiful meal, like just thank 

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you for everything that you do 
for us because she really is in 

226
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,560
control. 
And like, earlier in the year, 

227
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,000
we had a bunch of historic like 
tornadoes and floods here in 

228
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,520
Kentucky. 
And I had went on a little like 

229
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,680
journey with some plant 
medicine. 

230
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,960
And she like set me down and she
was like, look, we know you're 

231
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,320
really sensitive about what 
what's happening to the earth 

232
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,160
and the plants and the trees and
the animals. 

233
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,200
But listen to me when I tell you
I will flip this whole fucking 

234
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,960
table over. 
And two weeks later, flooded 

235
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,800
everything over here, fucking 
ripped people's houses out of 

236
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,720
the fucking ground. 
And it was literally in such 

237
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,640
close coordinates to people I 
loved like that the Shields I 

238
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:31,000
sent out like worked. 
And then I like, we'll forever 

239
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,320
talk about this, but someone in 
my family that is like an 

240
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:38,320
immediate family member has been
torturing me, harassing me, like

241
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,680
sending negativity to me my 
whole life here and in past 

242
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,960
life, right? 
So I just did a little, you 

243
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,200
know, I just did a little spell 
to be like, bitch, like I'm 

244
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,040
going to end this. 
Like you're going to have what 

245
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,560
you have sent to me in the 
biggest way. 

246
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,720
And what do you know if that's 
tornado did not hit her 

247
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,200
neighborhood like please do not 
fuck with me. 

248
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,880
But I'm not like trying to harm 
you. 

249
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,800
But then I found out that her 
new boyfriends truck got stolen 

250
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,920
too. 
And I'm like spirit never leaves

251
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:07,920
any crumbs like at all because I
am like one of those people that

252
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,640
used to just like Oh my gosh, 
like why don't you like me? 

253
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,440
Why don't you support me? 
And now I'm like, I don't even 

254
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,160
want that type of support. 
You know what I mean? 

255
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,480
Like, as an energy healer, I'm 
sure you've learned not all good

256
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,360
money or not all money is good 
money. 

257
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,440
Yeah. 
And that is what I think our 

258
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:26,440
souls are like, really here as 
like healers to teach others. 

259
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,240
Because people are so caught up 
in this matrix, it's nuts. 

260
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,800
Well, and something especially 
when it comes to like a 

261
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,720
difficult family. 
So like, I was raised really 

262
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,320
religiously and I'm adopted, but
I'm adopted into my family. 

263
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,480
So like my family has their 
resentments in X&X&Y places 

264
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,800
about who I've become. 
And especially like squandering 

265
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,360
the opportunity that like my 
adopted parents gave me. 

266
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,400
Because again, my family's just 
really religious. 

267
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,320
And I think that's something 
that I really, really kind of 

268
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,080
internalized when it comes to 
family systems and healing 

269
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,760
family systems is that you don't
have to physically heal them in 

270
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,640
order to heal. 
And, and I think that that's 

271
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:03,840
something that's really 
prominent to me. 

272
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,840
Like I've understood that in 
this lifetime, I'm not the 

273
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,080
teacher for my family. 
Like I'm not the person that 

274
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,800
they're going to sit down and 
listen to and understand from. 

275
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,320
However, I know that as I heal 
the mindsets, as I give my 

276
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,360
energetic reparations, as I do 
my ancestry work, as I do my 

277
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:21,520
veneration, as I kind of express
those things, my ancestry heals 

278
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,080
with me. 
They have no option. 

279
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,720
And sometimes it's just like the
pettiest feeling in the entire 

280
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,440
world when, you know, I get the 
phone calls from the few members

281
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,040
of my family that I do still 
speak to about how terribly 

282
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,600
everything going and all of 
this. 

283
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,680
And I don't know, the one thing 
about healing that kind of 

284
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,600
pisses me off is how much 
forgiveness I have. 

285
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,240
Like, Oh my God, do I hate being
compassionate sometimes. 

286
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,280
Like it really just gets under 
my fucking skin because like, I 

287
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,920
don't know how to explain the 
energy that like I often feel 

288
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,680
like the villain who's a good 
guy. 

289
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,000
Like like you. 
One of the things that I think 

290
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,760
often on this planet is like the
fact that I'm a good guy here 

291
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,360
shows what pieces of shit you 
guys are dead ass bro. 

292
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:59,280
Because like the fact that I'm 
one of like the top tier good 

293
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,040
guys on this planet. 
Like, what do you mean? 

294
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,120
Y'all have my ass playing hero 
is crazy, bro. 

295
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,560
Like I'm just saying. 
And so like, but one of the 

296
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:09,680
things that I come across so 
deeply in my healing is just 

297
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,760
like forgiveness for people who 
like I have every right to hate 

298
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,640
for the rest of my life. 
And my childhood was so 

299
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,320
traumatic by both my adopted 
family and like my birth family.

300
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,600
And like there was just never 
really any adults besides my 

301
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,440
parents, whoever protected me. 
And now that both my parents are

302
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,000
gone, you know, I'm left to kind
of like deal with this. 

303
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,640
And you know, I don't hate any 
of those people. 

304
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,360
Like On the contrary, if 
anything, I kind of pity them. 

305
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,880
I feel bad for them. 
Like I keep them. 

306
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,760
Like I know what it's like to 
truly feel compassion for people

307
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:40,160
who don't deserve it. 
And, and honestly, like I'm 

308
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,840
allowed to say that that fucking
sucks, bro. 

309
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,120
Like I genuinely, I want to hate
them. 

310
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,040
But I found a lot of peace in 
the concept that like, as I 

311
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,520
heal, they heal. 
And as I become a better person,

312
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,280
so do they. 
And something that brings me a 

313
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,480
lot of peace on this planet. 
Like, I don't speak to a lot of 

314
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,800
the adults in my family, but 
like, like, I have a situation 

315
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,160
that just happened last week 
that actually kind of like, like

316
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:05,000
really embodies this concept. 
But one of my aunts, she just 

317
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,720
absolutely hates the witchcraft.
She's very judgmental XX and Y. 

318
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,720
But her daughters and her sons 
come to me for everything they 

319
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,600
need. 
And her daughter called me last 

320
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,200
week and she goes, hey, Mariah. 
And I was like, yeah, what's up?

321
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,880
And she was a FaceTime in the 
middle of the day. 

322
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,720
It was just, she's 16. 
So I was like, you know, weird, 

323
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,200
weird thing, but whatever. 
And I was like, hey, what's up? 

324
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,160
And she was like, listen, I have
a headache. 

325
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,120
And I was like, OK. 
And she's like, well, you always

326
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,640
cured my headaches when you were
here taking care of Nana, like 

327
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,120
my mom while she was, she was 
like, and now I have this 

328
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,600
headache. 
Can you please teach me how to 

329
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,960
make my headache go away? 
And she was calling me to ask 

330
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,440
for healing instructions. 
And, you know, this is a little 

331
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,640
girl who just like, goes to 
church every Sunday, you know, 

332
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,040
like goes to the motions of 
religion, but she's 16. 

333
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,560
And she knew who to call the 
healer headache. 

334
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,320
And, you know, like, I think 
that that heals a lot of parts 

335
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,840
of me that grew up in church. 
You know, that Jesus told you to

336
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,800
go out and be a healer. 
And like, I am 1. 

337
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,840
And it was the cutest little 
thing to just kind of like give 

338
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,000
her those instructions. 
And then she was like, before we

339
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,760
get off the phone, though, can 
you teach me the one in your 

340
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,560
hands to make my menstrual Crips
go away? 

341
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,080
And it's just those little like 
moments where like you realize 

342
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,840
that like you have the full 
ability to filter that energy 

343
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,600
and you have the full ability to
heal people even from a 

344
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,200
distance. 
And we don't have to take like 

345
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,000
the main character role in 
everyone else's kind of like 

346
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,000
live for like, like play in 
order to actually change things 

347
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,840
in like the like sub writing, 
you know? 

348
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,720
And I think that we have such a 
beautiful opportunity within our

349
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,880
own bloodlines to heal them, 
whether they you fucking like it

350
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,320
or not. 
It's kind of awesome. 

351
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,720
It's like the best form of 
control magic. 

352
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,120
It's crazy we're talking about 
this. 

353
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,320
I literally have a sigil written
on my arm right now where I 

354
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,880
passed a spell on my own 
bloodline literally like 2 weeks

355
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,240
ago to make them pay me for all 
the trauma they caused. 

356
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,640
I was like, yo, you guys owe me 
in paychecks actually bitch. 

357
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,320
No, I love that because that's 
kind of where I've been at. 

358
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,200
Like I have embodied so much 
judgement and just like 

359
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,880
projection from certain people 
in my life. 

360
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,160
And when I started really like 
shielding and protecting my 

361
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,360
energy, they really started 
feeling it and started 

362
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,080
projecting more, you know what I
mean? 

363
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,280
Like when they feel you removing
those cords. 

364
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,560
Like they almost try to crank it
up a notch. 

365
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,480
Well, I, well, that's why I tell
people to fuck off with the 

366
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,680
protections. 
I think the protections are good

367
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,119
for the first few years of your 
witchcraft, but I think I wish 

368
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,200
you had a point, especially in 
your own alchemical process 

369
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,800
where protections, I'm not going
to say they're useless. 

370
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,599
I'm just saying that they're not
as effective as like a 

371
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,400
transmutation is going to be. 
And I try to teach people a lot.

372
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,640
I think the transmutation is 
kind of a newer concept to witch

373
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,040
talk. 
And when I think of 

374
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,160
transmutation, it's really 
something that cut comes from 

375
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,160
the inside of you. 
And when you get to a place 

376
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,360
where you can transmute, 
protection becomes completely 

377
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,120
unnecessary at some point 
because because the 

378
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,480
transmutation is your 
protection. 

379
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,840
Because The thing is, is that 
what we're doing when we're 

380
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,400
protecting is that's exactly 
what we're doing. 

381
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,720
We're putting a shield up, we're
putting a wall up to send energy

382
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,280
back. 
But what we're doing when we're 

383
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,080
doing doing that is we're 
telling the universe and 

384
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,560
ourselves we can't handle. 
We can't deal with that energy 

385
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,240
because it's too dark for us. 
It's too bad for us. 

386
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,760
I don't have the energy to 
transmute it, whatever. 

387
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,320
But when we transmute that, we 
can turn it into something else.

388
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,920
And, and I think that that's 
where I really like to train 

389
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,880
people to is an aspect of like, 
when you become so self assured,

390
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,840
none of that energy can harm you
anymore. 

391
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,320
It can only turn into benefit in
your life. 

392
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,920
You know what I'm saying? 
If the gossip of my family does 

393
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,200
not genuinely affect me in any 
way, then I'm allowed to take in

394
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,760
that energy and say, actually, 
it's going to be a paycheck now 

395
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,480
actually I need to lose 50 lbs. 
So it's going to be a weight 

396
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,480
loss transmutation. 
Actually, I need, you know, a 

397
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,280
new wardrobe. 
So we're going to turn this 

398
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,120
energy into whatever I may 
choose because I now have the 

399
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:34,560
power to do so because that that
energy can no longer affect me. 

400
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,360
And I think that it's a part 
that we really and like more, I 

401
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,840
don't want to say advanced forms
of witchcraft, but like after 

402
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,360
year 2, we should be laying off 
the protections. 

403
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,440
There's a reason that you need 
to be protecting your home once 

404
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,760
a month when you clean your 
house once a week. 

405
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,680
Why? 
Why aren't we adding like 

406
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,440
practicality and more alchemy 
into the process kind of thing? 

407
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,320
And it's something that I think 
we miss a lot, especially with 

408
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,800
bloodlines, because I'm like, 
no, my family's absolutely shit.

409
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,160
Do you have any idea how good 
that is to an alchemist? 

410
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,640
I eat that shit for breakfast 
bro. 

411
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,960
That was like another reason I 
was really interested in like 

412
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,720
having you on to the podcast is 
because I knew there would be a 

413
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,000
lot that we could learn from you
because you're always on there 

414
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,520
with concepts that are like, I 
feel like far advanced for 

415
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,080
people who are just like picking
up a crystal in a book or 

416
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,440
whatever. 
And like, although a lot of 

417
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,760
people don't even realize that 
like the tarot is shaped into an

418
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,640
alchemy journey and like that, 
that's alchemizing all the pain 

419
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,040
and the things you go through to
come out on top and it to 

420
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,560
elevate your energy because it 
ends, you know, with the King of

421
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,680
Pentacles. 
And I just don't think a lot of 

422
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,640
people realize that it's OK to 
be a beginner and it's OK to 

423
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:44,960
say, hey, I don't know how to do
this. 

424
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,680
Can you teach me? 
Can you show me like I have 

425
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:52,680
never ever been one to like, I 
love asking questions. 

426
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,160
Like I'm not going to be quiet 
to ask questions. 

427
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,200
And honestly, I like to learn 
exactly the way that you're 

428
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,680
talking about how you teach. 
I like to have that like 

429
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,680
feedback loop in a situation 
where like I can ask questions 

430
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,400
because like you mentioned, one 
person's going to speak up and 

431
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,280
20 people are going to learn 
from that question or from that 

432
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,760
expansion. 
And I've always like loved how 

433
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,440
technology and like Ted talks. 
And Zoom and all of these things

434
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,040
are like bringing people 
together to spread information 

435
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,920
because we really are building a
new collective, like a new 

436
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,160
space, a new frequency. 
And there has to be people like 

437
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,240
you and I that are like 
anchoring in that frequency that

438
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,280
like scares people because 
people are like, what do you 

439
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,160
mean you do witchcraft? 
Like that is really fucked up my

440
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,840
dating life like 1000% because 
people are like, Oh, I cannot 

441
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,960
lie to her. 
So I, I'm just not even going to

442
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,280
try. 
You know what I mean? 

443
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,520
I'm good. 
See, OK, so I got 2 points. 

444
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,520
All right, I want to start with 
the dating one. 

445
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,640
I'll tell you. 
So like it's funny for me 

446
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,240
because I always was really 
scared to tell people I practice

447
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,720
witchcraft professionally 
because I was like, they're 

448
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,720
going to think I'm a total 
weirdo. 

449
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,280
And it's funny because now 
whenever I tell people I 

450
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,760
practice witchcraft, they go oh 
that makes sense. 

451
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,280
As if I just told them I'm a 
nurse. 

452
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,640
Like I don't know what it is 
about me, but when people 

453
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,160
approach me like it's almost 
like the first question people 

454
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,400
ask like what do you do for a 
living? 

455
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,560
Like what? 
Or like they'll ask me if I'm 

456
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,880
performing. 
People are running to me in 

457
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,920
public and like see my outfits 
and be like, are you performing 

458
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,320
somewhere? 
And I'm like performing what? 

459
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,240
And so like for me, like I've 
gotten to a place where like 

460
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,080
people kind of were like, oh, 
witchcraft. 

461
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,760
And I do this thing where I tell
people like, you know, I, I 

462
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,280
have, I turn privacy off. 
I tell people exactly especially

463
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,440
like dating or like new 
friendships, exactly what I 

464
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,800
can't see exactly how I see. 
I also just kind of like conform

465
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:40,640
them. 
And for me it's more of a 

466
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,320
consent thing. 
I just inform them of like what 

467
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,600
I'm going to see about you based
on what you talked to me about. 

468
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,280
If you talk to me, I'm reading 
you. 

469
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,800
If you, whatever you're talking 
to me about, you're guiding my 

470
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,680
vision. 
It's just who I am as a person. 

471
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,240
I have no intention of turning 
it off. 

472
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,080
I'm not going to, you know what 
I'm saying? 

473
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,680
So like that's kind of how I 
handle the dating thing. 

474
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,280
But also with beginners, I 
really liked what you kind of 

475
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,840
like brought up there when it 
comes to beginners. 

476
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,920
The way that I like to explain 
it to people is because you're 

477
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,160
right. 
I get that a lot where people 

478
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,760
are like, I feel like you're 
just really advanced. 

479
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,360
I like to teach people from the 
understanding that they already 

480
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,000
have the bigger picture. 
So I think that a lot of people 

481
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,920
get involved in spirituality and
witchcraft, thinking that 

482
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,200
they're at the bottom of 
something and that they're 

483
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,420
working there up to knowledge or
like where I'm at, quote UN 

484
00:22:20,420 --> 00:22:23,840
quote, whatever advancement. 
And I don't think that that's 

485
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,880
particularly true. 
I kind of see it like a game of 

486
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,320
Jeopardy where you already have 
the answer and really what 

487
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,120
you're formulating is the 
question because the answer is 

488
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:31,960
you. 
That's it. 

489
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,560
At the end of the day, whatever 
your reality is, whatever you're

490
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,480
like, why is my life like this? 
Why is this happening to me? 

491
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,320
The answer is always going to be
you. 

492
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,240
Why do I feel this way? 
The answer is you. 

493
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,440
So like we, it's not that we are
seeking answers, it's that we're

494
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,600
actually seeking questions. 
We don't know how to ask them to

495
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,040
ourselves. 
So like when we start to see the

496
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:53,880
entire world as a place of 
connecting dots that it's not 

497
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,400
that you study one field, it's 
that you're studying all of 

498
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,600
them. 
So like, and, and like, I like 

499
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,440
the way that you brought up like
people who are using like 

500
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,840
crystals to like heal 
themselves. 

501
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,920
So if you're already doing that,
then I would take it to a 

502
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,720
different place of like, how 
could crystals heal somebody on 

503
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,800
a psychological scale? 
What's going on there? 

504
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,120
Like even on a psychological 
scale, even if the actual 

505
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:15,880
crystal is bullshit, let me 
study psychology and how this 

506
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,600
could potentially make a person 
feel better, right? 

507
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,320
And you're going to find science
there that makes sense, right? 

508
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,120
And you could still say after 
that understanding that the 

509
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,320
crystal is bullshit, but you 
have the psychology 

510
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:26,880
understanding. 
Now we go back to the crystal. 

511
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,280
Now we're going to go and study 
the energetics of crystals, 

512
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:30,760
right? 
Completely over here, we're not 

513
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,800
even going to study psychology, 
we're just going to study how 

514
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,680
crystals have an energetic 
effect period, right? 

515
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,320
OK, cool. 
Now we have all this information

516
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,840
about crystals and we come back 
here and now we have, oh, I was 

517
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,680
healing myself with crystals and
I understand how on a 

518
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,160
psychological scale and an 
energetic scale that could work.

519
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,520
It's not about proving that 
correct. 

520
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,760
It's about understanding that in
your own experience that 

521
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,360
mattered and studying the things
that are relevant to your own 

522
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,880
experiences. 
Does that make sense? 

523
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,280
So I like to teach people from a
basis that's really grounded in 

524
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,560
the things that they're already 
experiencing. 

525
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,200
People think that they're 
beginners and they're actually 

526
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,600
very advanced in the same. 
I like the number of times I've 

527
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,360
had to tell an alchemist that 
they're a fucking alchemist and 

528
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:06,760
they're like, really? 
And I'm like, you've been in 

529
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,160
therapy for 15 years. 
What do you think you were 

530
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,560
learning there? 
Like what do you think breaking 

531
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,880
down concepts and finding tools 
to help grow yourself on a 

532
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,080
spiritual and emotional and 
mental plane is like at it's 

533
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,360
very basis, it's alchemy. 
And I think that we've stripped 

534
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,320
it's, it's literally due to the 
book burnings. 

535
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,080
You know what? 
They started burning the books 

536
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,280
and then chemistry became 
chemistry instead of alchemy and

537
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,240
they split out the spirituality 
from it and geometry became 

538
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,640
geometry and Pythagoreas rules 
were just rules of math and the 

539
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,200
spirituality was completely 
stripped from it. 

540
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,720
And Isaac Newton and all of the 
work that he did became nothing 

541
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,680
but science and gravity and the 
laws of physics. 

542
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,720
And the 80% of work he did in 
astrology and alchemy just kind 

543
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,720
of got thrown out the window. 
And we still abide by literally 

544
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,440
the separation that they forced 
between the spiritual world and 

545
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,760
science. 
And the entire thing is like, 

546
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,360
like my bachelor's degree is in 
chemistry and my associate's 

547
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:58,160
degree is in mathematics and 
both of those fields involved so

548
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,720
much fucking theoretics. 
It's same dude. 

549
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:05,720
Like the word theory will become
so relevant in your life if you 

550
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,240
study in either of those fields.
And when you get to a point of 

551
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,640
mathematics, your science, where
you're studying theoretics, 

552
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,320
you're literally creating, 
you're literally coming up with 

553
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,360
theories, reading other people's
theories, things we can't prove 

554
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,720
but make so much sense. 
And I think that it really comes

555
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,800
down to this aspect. 
If you already have the answers 

556
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,440
and they're based out of your 
own experience. 

557
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,400
It's not about asking what other
people think or what other 

558
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,080
people are experiencing. 
It's about relating to your own 

559
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,880
experience and then finding the 
information that can help you 

560
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,040
back those experiences up. 
Does that make sense? 

561
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,880
Like, I don't think that I'm 
teaching from an advanced 

562
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,880
perspective. 
So much is a all seeing 

563
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,960
perspective that every person 
holds and I think that as soon 

564
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,080
as I can get somebody to that 
all seeing perspective of oh, me

565
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,640
and my soul already know 
everything I'm just 

566
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,120
experiencing. 
That's kind of the point. 

567
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,360
Boom, they can understand 
literally like high level 

568
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,720
concepts like crazy. 
That's why I really push people 

569
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,360
towards courses. 
I'm like, come to me for 12 

570
00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,920
weeks, become a completely 
different person and then let me

571
00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,400
teach you the crazy shit about 
life. 

572
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,360
Like have you ever seen the 
fabric of reality? 

573
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:06,720
I can show you. 
No, earlier my friend sent me a 

574
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,760
video and she was like, I'm 
telling you a portal just opened

575
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,600
up on my property and then she 
like walked to the other side 

576
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,040
and there was a foxhole, like 
just a baby like foxhole. 

577
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,880
And she was like, I'm telling 
you something glitched And she 

578
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,400
was like, and I could see the 
ripple. 

579
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,240
She was like, am I at the end of
the video game or like where am 

580
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,840
I at? 
And it is interesting, 

581
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:31,640
especially with history because 
I always, always, even as a kid,

582
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,320
knew that a lot of that shit was
bullshit, that they were lying 

583
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,240
to us about so much stuff. 
Like my favorite thing that they

584
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,480
did in the history books is they
straight up like put the 

585
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,360
Egyptians on like Page 1. 
And like this randomly started 

586
00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:48,560
there and like, just completely 
disregarded so much of like what

587
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,400
was actually going on throughout
the world. 

588
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,800
And then once again, it just 
centers you back to religion. 

589
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,240
Like, it centers you back to 
religion. 

590
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,160
And like we've all heard, you 
know, we're basically living in 

591
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,880
a white man's imagination in 
this motherfucker right now, 

592
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,520
like we all are. 
And how do we break free of 

593
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:04,800
that? 
Like that's where I'm always 

594
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,800
trying to like rally my like 
ancestors and like the women of 

595
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,080
like my lineage and even beyond 
just any like power that I can 

596
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,080
help transmute that we have been
like tortured or silenced or 

597
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,320
whatever. 
And if I can use my vessel and 

598
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,360
be a channel for that voice and 
be able to like be rebellious 

599
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:24,520
and be, you know, tell men to 
shut the fuck up or whatever I 

600
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,640
need to do. 
You know, like I saw something 

601
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,120
the other day and it was like 
some of y'all say you were born 

602
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,520
at the wrong time, but I was was
born at the perfect time because

603
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,080
I love telling men to shut the 
fuck up. 

604
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,760
Yes, I, I think the same thing. 
I think that the one relevant 

605
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,560
thing right now is to do things 
out of strength and not emotion,

606
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,760
out of a sense of knowing. 
And not because I think that we 

607
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,600
see it a lot where like women 
are gaining a certain strength 

608
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,720
in like speaking up for 
themselves and like holding 

609
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,400
boundaries. 
But the, the kind of ascension 

610
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,800
that our plan is going through, 
right, is a masculine, feminine 

611
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,000
ascension. 
That's the basis of the whole 

612
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,360
ascension. 
And it's not because 1 is better

613
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,640
than the other. 
It's because we have to 

614
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,200
experience one in the way we 
experience the other. 

615
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,240
And I really think about that 
trend that was going around 

616
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,200
where women were asking their 
husbands, like, how often do you

617
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,680
think of the Roman Empire? 
And their answers residually 

618
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,640
were every single day, and they 
were talking about some of them 

619
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,440
are like ours every day. 
And I think that that's relevant

620
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,480
because we as we, as those who 
study the subconscious, 

621
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,400
understand that if your 
subconscious is constantly 

622
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,440
talking to you about something, 
there's probably a reason for 

623
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:23,920
it. 
And I firmly believe that these 

624
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,400
people are having past life 
attachments. 

625
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,840
When we say, and like historians
even say that America in the 

626
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,160
fall of America, everything 
that's happening here is the 

627
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,240
continuation of the fall of 
Rome, Like we are a continuation

628
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,640
of Rome and therefore we're 
watching it happen. 

629
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,400
But I firmly believe that so 
many of the incarnated souls, 

630
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,840
specifically men in this in 
specifically that demographic of

631
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,400
them is incarnated to watch the 
follow of everything they 

632
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,120
created to see kind of that 
ending of like everything that 

633
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,560
you swore was all good and godly
in this planet is falling. 

634
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,440
And honestly, Rome is a very 
good example of the masculine 

635
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,280
energy from the intricate 
whiteness of everything. 

636
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:02,560
The like the the predisposition 
to purity, the one religion 

637
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,680
aspect of things like a very 
kind of like focalized religion,

638
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,560
things like that, even down to 
the violence of the Coliseum. 

639
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,760
I think we see a very good 
example of the masculine energy 

640
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,320
in Rome. 
And it has continued on through 

641
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,480
the colonization of almost every
country that we've seen 

642
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,280
colonized, specifically America.
America is more deeply a 

643
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,600
reflection of modern day Rome 
than anything else. 

644
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,360
And I think that we're seeing 
the fall of that. 

645
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,280
So as a feminine energy and mob 
moving into the feminine kind of

646
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,520
like aspect, the best thing that
we can do is come from a place 

647
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:36,400
of being and knowing without 
emotional attachment and the the

648
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,880
things that we should be giving 
our emotion to. 

649
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,200
And I teach this a lot to women 
who are struggling with 

650
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,920
relationships that that feeding 
our emotions into places that 

651
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,000
have done hard thing about hurt 
them is the stupidest thing we 

652
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,560
can possibly do, right? 
If we keep saying that the 

653
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,200
masculine energy has hurt our 
feelings and they don't pay 

654
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,440
attention to them and they've 
never respected them, why would 

655
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,000
we feed them anger? 
Because anger is a mask for 

656
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,080
other emotions, other vulnerable
emotions, guilt, embarrassment, 

657
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,480
loneliness, betrayal, right? 
So what we're actually giving to

658
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:06,120
men when we feed them anger is 
our most vulnerable part for 

659
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,240
them to just slice down, cut 
down, treat like shit again. 

660
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,280
And the best thing that we can 
do as women is come from a place

661
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:16,320
of ferocity, of education, of 
knowledge, of being where we can

662
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,160
have a certain softness. 
And when we're feeding our 

663
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,120
emotions to places, they should 
be the people who are 

664
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,200
marginalized. 
They should be comforting one 

665
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,160
another. 
And when we have this anger that

666
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,760
comes up, this like residual 
rage from the collective of 

667
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,320
women, the way that we should 
handle it is the same way we 

668
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,000
handle our inner child or our 
inner teenager. 

669
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,920
When they come up angry, we 
don't express their anger for 

670
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,520
them. 
We may in a channeled way where 

671
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,240
we like like go cut down a tree,
right? 

672
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,320
Beat up a fucking car when that 
is not belonging to someone, for

673
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,680
the record, right? 
Just like, you know, like we go 

674
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,160
to like a smash room. 
That's a healthy way to channel 

675
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,280
that anger. 
However, handing that anger back

676
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:53,320
to men either in the form of 
podcast online things, for a lot

677
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:54,520
of us, that's really not the 
answer. 

678
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,320
For the vast majority of women, 
that's not the answer. 

679
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,760
Educating ourselves, arming 
ourselves with knowledge, 

680
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,320
stepping away from conversations
and saying you do not have the 

681
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:02,840
education to have this 
conversation with me. 

682
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,680
I'm sorry. 
I'm not going to debate you in 

683
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,840
this because it's very clear to 
me that you just aren't as 

684
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,200
educated as me in this field. 
And arming ourselves with 

685
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,760
education to say those things 
because arguing with and giving 

686
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:17,400
our anger, our upsetness, our 
like years of trauma to men who 

687
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,960
continue to perpetuate that 
energy does nothing except feed 

688
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,440
them. 
Does that make sense? 

689
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,280
And I think that that's my 
biggest thing with like the 

690
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,240
hexes and the curses. 
If all of us sat down and 

691
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,640
collectively started, I think 
about that statistic that came 

692
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:35,120
out where the World Meditation 
Organization came out with a 

693
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,400
like it was a peer reviewed 
study basically stating that if 

694
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,840
they could gather, I think it 
was 500 meditation people who 

695
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,880
were trained in guided 
meditation into one area to 

696
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,960
focus on World Peace for like 2 
hours or some crazy shit like 

697
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,560
this. 
But they were sure that 

698
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,560
statistically it would create 
worldwide changes. 

699
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,040
So I think of what would happen 
if all of these women, instead 

700
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,760
of being angry and upset and 
giving all of that anger to I 

701
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,280
hate the patriarchy and I hate 
men. 

702
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,600
What if we started refocusing it
because we're still self 

703
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,520
centering men. 
You're still centering men in 

704
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,200
that equation. 
Like I you can hate them all you

705
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,840
fucking want to that still, 
you're still feeding them. 

706
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,440
Yes, and you know those groups. 
I know you know those groups 

707
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,920
that are we dating the same guy 
little Facebook group. 

708
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:18,640
So I was a part of that group. 
And honestly, just scrolling 

709
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,960
through that just made me so 
nauseous and like sick and like 

710
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,320
just constantly feeling like, 
what are these women doing? 

711
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,920
And so I snoozed the group and 
then I had this epiphany of like

712
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:34,080
how that vibration was keeping 
me trapped in that cycle of 

713
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,000
hating men. 
And I went to go like look for 

714
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,480
the group and they had randomly 
deleted me from the group. 

715
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,000
And I was like, I know that was 
spirit because spirit was like, 

716
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,400
girl, this is too much. 
You don't need to be listening 

717
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,040
to this. 
You don't need to be looking at 

718
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,400
this. 
And just the way women, like, 

719
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:54,960
degrade each other in those 
groups as well is exactly what 

720
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,160
they want. 
It's exactly what feeds them and

721
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,280
keeps them in power. 
And like, I love what you were 

722
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,520
saying about doing things in 
strength rather than emotion 

723
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,280
because I have also been really 
big on like, silence is the 

724
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,120
answer. 
No response is loud enough. 

725
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,360
And just leaving things where 
they're at, like even falling 

726
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,280
outs where in the past I would 
have just wanted to get my point

727
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,520
out there. 
I'm like, OK, cool, you wrote a 

728
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:23,280
big book and I'm not replying 
like I'm not arguing with you. 

729
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,880
And I think that there are 
important people to have these 

730
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,800
conversations with, safe people.
I have men who treat me very 

731
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,680
well. 
They respect me as a person. 

732
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,240
They respect other women as 
people. 

733
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,720
Those are men who I'm having 
these conversations with. 

734
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:39,440
They may have bad political 
views, they may have bad voting.

735
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,120
You know what I'm saying? 
There are some people worth 

736
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,560
having these conversations with,
but I think that it comes down 

737
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,240
to discernment and like there's 
some people who aren't worth 

738
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,680
having these conversations with.
Also something that I've started

739
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:54,240
to really take personally is we,
so you're like take personally, 

740
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,240
like on an internal scale is, 
you know, I have, I have a lot 

741
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,120
of like male friends who have 
like vast like vague views of 

742
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,840
women. 
All women do this, all women do 

743
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,200
that. 
And I think there are a lot of 

744
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,720
women who have these opinions 
too, you know, and we say, you 

745
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,280
know, it's not all men, but it's
most of them. 

746
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,159
And men feel the same way. 
You know what I'm saying about 

747
00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:13,880
their opinions. 
And something that I noticed 

748
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,280
amongst my male friends is they 
had a tendency to separate me 

749
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,920
from the rest of women. 
Like, as if this doesn't apply 

750
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,639
to you, you can't make a rule 
from the exception. 

751
00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:23,440
And I've gotten this from quite 
a few people. 

752
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,480
And I started to kind of like 
point out to them that I don't 

753
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,880
think that it's all of women. 
I think that it's the women 

754
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,320
you're attracting, and I wish 
that women would start applying 

755
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,080
this concept too. 
And it's something that I teach 

756
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,159
to my clients that if you think 
that all men are bad, maybe you 

757
00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:39,800
should reflect on why you're 
attracting that brand of men. 

758
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,679
Because, like, hear me out. 
I get it. 

759
00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:44,920
Most of them are hard to deal 
with. 100% of the masculine 

760
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,000
energy is rough right now. 
But it makes sense that they're 

761
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,080
mad we're switching from 
masculine to human energy. 

762
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,520
And if I'm even remotely right 
about them being incarnated from

763
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,480
Rome, they're pissed dog, like 
everything they work for has 

764
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,000
fallen. 
Let them be pouty, who cares? 

765
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,960
But the one thing that I can 
also say is the man who I've 

766
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,200
attracted in my life on a very 
platonic scale, I'm surrounded 

767
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,440
by a very attractive because I 
like eye candy, Like, I'm sorry,

768
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,320
like I don't attractive is #1 if
they're going to be a man and 

769
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,200
they're going to be in my 
vicinity, they have to be hot. 

770
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,960
And like, but even on a platonic
scale, these men take such good 

771
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,480
care of me. 
I, I have a friend who bought 

772
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,720
like a villa in Italy to just 
kind of like for his mom to make

773
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:22,960
sure she was safe or whatever. 
And he made sure I had a room in

774
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,600
it because he was like, well, 
I'm not going to leave you here 

775
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:25,920
if things come crashing and 
burning. 

776
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,960
You know what I'm saying? 
I have men who are very 

777
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,160
protective of me, have offered 
to marry me if things fall 

778
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,560
apart, which is so just annoying
in the patriarchal sense. 

779
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,160
But it's, you know, they're 
trying. 

780
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,480
And I have men who just take 
very good care of me. 

781
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,080
If things go wrong, I can call 
them. 

782
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,880
But I've only found those 
platonic friends, those people 

783
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,880
who care about me, care to talk 
to me, care to get to know me in

784
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,120
a masculine form once I started 
healing my relationship with the

785
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,040
masculine. 
And I also think that 

786
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,360
desperation comes into it. 
And this is going to be a hard 

787
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,480
conversation. 
I make you hate for it, but so 

788
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,200
many women are way more 
desperate than they want to 

789
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:01,160
admit that they are. 
And and I think that we can look

790
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,120
at men and tell, you know, and 
say, see the desperate 

791
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,800
tenalities, but I think that I 
wish a lot more women would 

792
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:12,280
recognize their own desperation.
I I think often of like I said, 

793
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,560
I have a lot of very good men in
my life who are all very 

794
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,320
attractive. 
None of them are right for me. 

795
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:18,720
Do a lot of them hit a lot of my
standards? 

796
00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:19,680
Yes. 
Would I every date them? 

797
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,360
No, you know what I'm saying? 
And it comes from a place of 

798
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,840
they each teach me a piece of 
standard for the man I'm looking

799
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,040
for, you know, and I'm saying 
they can hit a lot of them. 

800
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,640
But when my life starts filling 
up with men who are close to my 

801
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,760
standards, that doesn't mean I 
should start dating one. 

802
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,440
That means the one who fills all
of them and all even more is 

803
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,440
showing up. 
And he has actually recently 

804
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:40,640
we've got a cute little thing 
going on. 

805
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,000
But like, I wasn't looking for a
man who had most of my 

806
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,440
standards. 
I was looking for a man who hit 

807
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:48,240
all of them and then added some.
I am like having good men 

808
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:51,560
surrounding me who I was just 
willing to talk to, to speak to,

809
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,760
to grow with. 
Not in like a debate way, but in

810
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,280
a way of like really 
understanding to people. 

811
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,160
And it's something I really 
integrated in my life. 

812
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,600
I don't do competition mindset 
at all. 

813
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,680
I just don't. 
And if I'm having a conversation

814
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,120
with you, no matter what it's 
about, and it starts to feel 

815
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,320
like it's a, you think I'm wrong
and you're right thing, I'll 

816
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,080
stop the conversation. 
I'd be like, I just want to 

817
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,560
reiterate, I'm not trying to be 
right. 

818
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,160
I don't think you're wrong. 
I'm just trying to understand 

819
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,160
from your perspective and help 
you to understand mine. 

820
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:19,520
And it's something that I really
reiterate in every aspect of my 

821
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,000
life that like as soon as you 
stop getting competition, people

822
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,840
become 1000 times more 
comfortable with you. 

823
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:27,440
And it's helpful, you know. 
I think pretty much the 

824
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,720
patriarchy keeps women in 
competition with one another 

825
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,160
because then we are instead of 
building community, building 

826
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:39,840
knowledge, wisdom, connection, 
we are separated and like the 

827
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,640
men like to keep women isolated 
as well. 

828
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,440
Like that's what I've 
experienced is like as someone 

829
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:48,200
who it shines like a pretty 
bright light. 

830
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:50,400
Women get around me and then 
they go back home and they're 

831
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,960
like, you need to pick your shit
up or you know, like they're 

832
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:56,040
brand new all of a sudden. 
So like their fiance, their 

833
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,640
husband or whoever is like, I 
don't want you hanging out with 

834
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,960
that girl because you come back 
here trying to tell me you have 

835
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,840
boundaries now or whatever, you 
know. 

836
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,920
But like it is a thing that we 
have been taught and embedded 

837
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,600
that we're nothing without a 
relationship, that women are 

838
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:15,320
nothing without a man or even 
like as happy as I am 

839
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,200
financially stable, have a 
wonderful career, wonderful 

840
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,280
friends and stuff. 
I still get out there sometimes 

841
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,600
and I'll see like a happy, cute 
like older couple. 

842
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,080
And I'm talking like older, like
sixties, 70s. 

843
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,400
And I'm like, like, am I ever 
going to have that? 

844
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,840
Because like it is a dying breed
of people staying together for 

845
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,840
30-40, fifty years. 
Like people have this illusion 

846
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,160
of options and illusions of 
things outside of themselves. 

847
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,000
And like you said, if more 
people just focus on their own 

848
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,800
healing what they have going, 
things change. 

849
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:47,800
Yeah. 
Well, and I I see. 

850
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,320
I like what you said about 
competition. 

851
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,920
And I think that the primary 
cause of competition is 

852
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,720
competition. 
It trickles down. 

853
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,640
Men compete with each other, but
they also compete with women. 

854
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,360
Like you're like the number of 
men who compete with women on a 

855
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,600
large scale on fucking 
microphones on podcast. 

856
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,280
It's fucking crazy bro. 
And when men compete with women,

857
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,120
then women start competing with 
other women. 

858
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,640
Do you get what I'm saying? 
And I think that it just kind of

859
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,800
like trickles down. 
And we see this in almost every 

860
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,920
aspect of like marginalized 
communities because it doesn't 

861
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:19,040
matter what group you belong to,
you're put in competition with 

862
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,720
someone else, you know, And they
kind of like teach these 

863
00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:23,440
competition aspects. 
It's got. 

864
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:24,800
And you're right, it's ingrained
in US. 

865
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,880
For me, I kind of like, I kind 
of hit this place where I 

866
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,920
recognized that even if I spent 
every day for the rest of my 

867
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,280
life explaining myself to 
another person, they would never

868
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,560
completely understand me. 
It would just never work. 

869
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,960
Like I'm so complex. 
And even in like the 29 years 

870
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:43,160
I've lived so much life to you, 
there's no way I could explain 

871
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,880
the complexity of Mariah to 
another person. 

872
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,520
And at first I felt lonely and 
then it felt really special 

873
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,880
because I recognized that this 
life isn't about somebody else 

874
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,880
experiencing me. 
It's about me experiencing me. 

875
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,960
And that felt so special to me. 
And I think that it makes my 

876
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,400
relationships with other people 
so much more special because 

877
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,000
even when people are here for 
only a year, only three years or

878
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,640
15, or maybe they're my life 
partner, I get to share some of 

879
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,680
the experience of my favorite 
person, me, with them. 

880
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,320
You know what I'm saying? 
And I think that when it comes 

881
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,000
to partnership. 
People have really lost what 

882
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,080
it's like to share themselves 
with another person. 

883
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,360
I think people go looking for 
themselves in another person and

884
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,840
because of that, the 
relationships fade really 

885
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,440
easily. 
I think that we were kind of 

886
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,880
encouraged to, and I can really 
relate to this because I was 

887
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,640
married off a week after my 18th
birthday and I was one of the 

888
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,320
oldest women in my family to get
married at that age. 

889
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:36,400
Like, and obviously the marriage
didn't last long, bro. 

890
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,440
I was divorced by 21 and ready 
to fucking go celebrate, you 

891
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,400
know what I'm saying? 
Like, but I think that we're so 

892
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,480
encouraged to find ourselves in 
other people. 

893
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,640
And this goes to so many levels.
Like one of the biggest problems

894
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,120
I have in life is that women are
encouraged to have sexual 

895
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,440
relationships with men before 
having sexual relationships with

896
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,920
themselves. 
It's fucking nuts, bro. 

897
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,080
Like I just I'll never 
understand that. 

898
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,600
But I think that it goes so much
deeper than that. 

899
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,320
I think that it goes even into 
personality. 

900
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,160
Like they teach women that 
you'll find yourself in a family

901
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,560
and in a marriage and in the 
house. 

902
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,280
And for a lot of us, that's 
true. 

903
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,400
Like I love my traditional 
roles. 

904
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,440
Like I really love the things 
that like traditionally make 

905
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:16,720
women women. 
They make me happy. 

906
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:19,400
I love fucking cooking. 
I love cleaning my house. 

907
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,560
I love doing laundry. 
I don't care whose it is. 

908
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,880
I go to people's houses and do 
their laundry all the time. 

909
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,720
It's my favorite chore. 
I love laundry. 

910
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,520
I like organizing people's 
closets. 

911
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,440
I don't know when it comes to 
sewing, like I grow the. 

912
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,360
I want to sit at home and be a 
witch and cast my little spells 

913
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,880
and sew my clothes. 
Do you need your boxers fixed? 

914
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,360
Like, I like those rules. 
I did find my place there, but 

915
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,520
in such a unique way, you know 
what I'm saying? 

916
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,960
I'm also such a big person who's
going to have a very successful,

917
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,760
already has a very successful 
career, you know, And I, and I 

918
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,160
think about that. 
I think about the fact that 

919
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,680
we're taught to find ourselves 
elsewhere. 

920
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,400
And I think that while 
relationships can offer us a lot

921
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,360
of growth, you can't really 
offer another person growth 

922
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,480
unless you yourself have 
something to share with them, 

923
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,280
have something to give to them. 
And, and I think that it's so 

924
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:07,240
important to kind of like ask 
yourself like, are you feeding 

925
00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:10,160
yourself in such a fulfilled way
that you don't need another 

926
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,320
person? 
And if the answer to that is 

927
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,000
that if the answer to that is 
yes. 

928
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,080
Reminds me of a concept that I 
adopted. 

929
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,000
I went on a celibacy journey for
like 3 years. 

930
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:25,840
Came out of it literally I got 
pregnant, had a miscarriage all 

931
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,960
in like a couple months with a 
high school like ex-boyfriend. 

932
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,800
And like I talk about it pretty 
publicly mainly because like it 

933
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,360
was so quick. 
I wasn't in like the mommy like 

934
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,880
wanting to have the kid mode. 
I was in the what the fuck is 

935
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,440
happening mode still. 
So whenever it all transitioned,

936
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,040
I was like, OK, I'm safe. 
Like I felt relieved. 

937
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,640
And I know that sounds bad for 
people like that deal with 

938
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:52,480
infertility and that it's not me
being, you know, careless about 

939
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,640
that. 
It's just me knowing for me and 

940
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,920
that position, I was setting 
myself up to be a single mom. 

941
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,440
And after that happened, spirit 
set me down. 

942
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,880
And they were like, look, you 
just spoke a generational curse 

943
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,680
by not having a child with that 
man. 

944
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:09,160
And you 2 have a soul contract 
that's now fulfilled and you're 

945
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:12,920
never going to see him again. 
And I've never spoke to him 

946
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,160
again. 
And they're like the wildest 

947
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,000
concept of like, you have to 
know where you end and other 

948
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,720
people begin because if not, 
you're going to lose yourself in

949
00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:23,880
what happens to you. 
Like that was definitely a place

950
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:27,640
where I could have just self 
imploded and really went to a 

951
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,320
low place. 
But being the workaholic that I 

952
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,280
am, I just kicked things into 
OverDrive. 

953
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:35,960
Ended up having my biggest month
I've ever had in my business 

954
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,160
with like over 10,000 in sales 
in September. 

955
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,960
Like spirit was like, OK, look 
this crazy door closed but guess

956
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,360
what baby girl, we have a lot of
surprises for you. 

957
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,440
And then I started realizing 
like how not ready was I for 

958
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,080
those things? 
Even someone who's in her 30s 

959
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,320
and pretty stable, I still did 
not feel ready. 

960
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,760
It was like financially good 
security and foundation good. 

961
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:05,480
Mentally, I was not there. 
I was so floored about how that 

962
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,880
took me for like a whirlwind. 
And that's so real about women 

963
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,640
like losing themselves either in
their children, in their family,

964
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,720
in their spouse, and just not 
knowing who they are anymore. 

965
00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:20,360
Yeah, I completely agree. 
And I think and like, I 

966
00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:23,280
honestly, those things are 
breaking generational curses, 

967
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,920
but I think they're so 
empowering for a person for you 

968
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,320
to be able to say that wasn't 
right for me. 

969
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,680
And I may like 10 toes deep. 
I don't regret it. 

970
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,000
That's power within itself. 
And I think that it's so 

971
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,600
important for people to learn 
that in life, to say no to 

972
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,840
things, to say no to life paths 
that don't belong to them, you 

973
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:42,920
know? 
And I think that it's a power 

974
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,040
that's been stripped away from 
women and continues to be to 

975
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,120
this day. 
Like the overturning of Roe 

976
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,320
versus Wade and everything that 
we're saying right now, we are 

977
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,600
saying actively just kind of 
like the right for women to say 

978
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,240
no to certain life paths just 
disappearing. 

979
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,560
And I, I think that it's, I, I 
think that it's so important to 

980
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,480
discuss just like the ability 
that we have to stand up for 

981
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,320
ourselves and empower ourselves 
and support ourselves and each 

982
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,960
other in that kind of like 
aspect of like, no, I can make 

983
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,960
my own decisions and this isn't 
right for me. 

984
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,880
You know, I think about that a 
lot because like, you know, in 

985
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,240
my life, I've made so many 
various things that other people

986
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:18,840
would consider like mistakes and
I'm bipolar. 

987
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,560
So like sometimes I just go 
manic and like quit my life. 

988
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,680
Like I just like wake up one day
and I'm like, my life fucking 

989
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,120
sucks and doesn't make me happy.
And I'll just drop everything. 

990
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,640
I'll like leave my husband, quit
my job, drop out of school, did 

991
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,840
that all in one day one time. 
But like I'll just kind of make 

992
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,960
decisions and everyone else, you
know, they're like, you're 

993
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,680
destroying my life. 
And it's so funny because 

994
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,240
looking back on those things, 
I'm so glad I did. 

995
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,240
I'm so fucking glad I made those
choices. 

996
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:46,520
I'm so glad that if you're 
listening to this and you have 

997
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,640
mania, go talk to your 
therapist. 

998
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,960
Don't listen to me. 
I'm not encouraging your manic 

999
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,760
faces. 
Please go talk to your therapist

1000
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,120
if you're feeling any other 
thing. 

1001
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,960
OK, I'm saying this about 
myself, but just that out there.

1002
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,280
But yeah, I think that it's just
kind of one of those things of 

1003
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:06,160
like the ability to decide for 
yourself what makes you happy 

1004
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:07,920
and what you're passionate about
and what you want to drive for 

1005
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,440
is so important and it and it 
creates such a beautiful life. 

1006
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,920
Like if everyone would just drop
everything that makes them 

1007
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,560
unhappy today and go find 
everything that makes them happy

1008
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,440
tomorrow, in six months their 
life will be better. 

1009
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,560
I guarantee it. 
I guarantee it. 

1010
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,520
Because like when I was the 
worst version of myself, I had 

1011
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,880
the most friends. 
I was always in a relationship, 

1012
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,560
always had something going. 
And then when I started saying 

1013
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,280
no and started being like no 
thank you or no, I'm not going 

1014
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:34,640
to go or no, I don't want to be 
invited or no, I can't drive, 

1015
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,800
no, I can't pay, like whatever 
it is. 

1016
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:38,880
And just really started saying 
no. 

1017
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:43,080
I really kicked up on my 
spiritual abilities and it just 

1018
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,520
instantly started snowballing. 
And within the year, I had a 

1019
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:51,320
full like LLC business that was 
generating money when two years 

1020
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,560
prior people were like, no one 
will ever pay you for that, you 

1021
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,320
know, like family members and 
like random people were trying 

1022
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,320
to like gas like me. 
But like, I truly believe that 

1023
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:05,120
whoever is in your life is 
somehow either hindering you or 

1024
00:47:05,240 --> 00:47:07,880
propelling you. 
And you've got to look around 

1025
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,360
and see like, who's the dead 
weight in my life? 

1026
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:13,800
And what is that costing me? 
Because what it's going to cost 

1027
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,280
you is your youth, your 
strength, your confidence. 

1028
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:19,360
You know, everything that's good
about you can and will be 

1029
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,680
drained from you if you stay in 
places that you've outgrown. 

1030
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,920
And you know, it's like the 
saying like if a plant is not 

1031
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,520
growing, you don't change the 
plant, you change its 

1032
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,760
environment. 
And so many people think like, 

1033
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,720
no, I need to change. 
No, I need to heal. 

1034
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,920
No, I need to do these things 
and like, we're all human and 

1035
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,800
we've all made mistakes, but the
moment that you can like move 

1036
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,320
forward and get into the bigger 
picture and into the path that 

1037
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,240
you're meant to be on, things 
will just start opening up for 

1038
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:47,680
you. 
And that's what I love about 

1039
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,200
life right now is because I've 
been going through a huge like 

1040
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:55,480
shedding rebirth phase and then 
finally like LED us to be able 

1041
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,000
to connect because that was 
blocked several fucking times 

1042
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,200
from you coming on here. 
And you know, the previous 

1043
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,520
person that was on the podcast 
with me, they were great. 

1044
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:08,560
But like, I have to let them go 
do their own thing without it 

1045
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:12,720
bringing me down because I see 
where other people are selfishly

1046
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,880
gonna put themselves first, 
which they should. 

1047
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,440
It's their life. 
But it affects us. 

1048
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,200
It affects people around you. 
And like, sometimes I think 

1049
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:23,480
people don't realize what their 
decisions are going to do, like 

1050
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:27,520
what that ripple effect is. 
And I think sometimes you have 

1051
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,120
to just be able to say, like, 
I'm not gonna take that 

1052
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,720
personal, but that is fucked up 
and I'm gonna move on. 

1053
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,320
Yeah, yeah. 
Well, and I think that a lot of 

1054
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,880
people don't, I, I've learned in
life that a lot of people don't 

1055
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,920
really consider how they affect 
others. 

1056
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:42,920
You know what I'm saying? 
Just on a like a really basic 

1057
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,200
scale. 
And like, I guess I'm a very 

1058
00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:47,400
like, I'm a very butterfly 
effect oriented person. 

1059
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:49,640
Like I have a butterfly tattoo 
on my face for a reason. 

1060
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:53,920
Like I just, I really think 
about the way that my actions 

1061
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,440
and especially my magic effects 
people. 

1062
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,680
And it's because I was raised by
a really manipulative person. 

1063
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,840
So I was trained like genuinely 
in the, in the art of 

1064
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,560
controlling people. 
Like people ask me all the time,

1065
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,840
why are you good at witchcraft? 
I was taught to control people 

1066
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:08,440
without ever picking up a 
candle. 

1067
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,720
You know what I'm saying? 
And that's all witchcraft is an 

1068
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:15,520
is an aspect of manipulation. 
But I think that when the more 

1069
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,640
you develop real power within 
yourself and that can only be 

1070
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,240
grown from self love, self 
relationship, a really deep care

1071
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:25,320
of yourself, but the more you 
develop that, the more you also 

1072
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,480
develop awareness on how your 
power grows. 

1073
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:30,200
You know what I'm saying? 
And, and when I started to 

1074
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:34,080
recognize that other people 
really don't understand how they

1075
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,680
affect other people, it, it 
started to make me again, this 

1076
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,200
is one of those places where I 
have compassion. 

1077
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,680
I wish I didn't, but but I 
started to recognize that they 

1078
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,400
don't really have a lot of 
internal power within 

1079
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,160
themselves. 
And they and they often rely on 

1080
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,240
other people for it. 
And you're really right about 

1081
00:49:47,240 --> 00:49:49,000
what you're explaining here. 
And I really like how you 

1082
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,320
connected the concepts and 
you're really the people that 

1083
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,280
you surround yourself with. 
You are your friends, you are 

1084
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:54,960
your relationship. 
You're going to become like 

1085
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:59,720
these people and a lot of people
when they're power seeking, seek

1086
00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:03,240
other power seeking people and 
they just become this like 

1087
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:05,440
vortex of black, black hole 
energy sometimes. 

1088
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:09,400
And it can be really, really 
difficult to try and pull our 

1089
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,720
friends away from that or watch 
our friends get sucked into 

1090
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:15,080
that. 
But I also think that we're in a

1091
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,960
time and space where souls are 
choosing exactly what they need 

1092
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:22,080
to. 
And it's hard right now because 

1093
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,120
we're going to watch people make
really bad choices for 

1094
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,280
themselves. 
We're going to watch people and 

1095
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:31,360
we are on on a very major scale 
and on a very macro scale. 

1096
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,960
We're watching people make 
active decisions on sides like, 

1097
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,200
and I know that sounds so crazy 
because like divisiveness isn't 

1098
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,000
the answer, but I don't think 
that people take into contrast 

1099
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:44,400
how like as above, so below, 
we're seeing such a divisive 

1100
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:47,400
contrast because we're seeing a 
split of two timelines. 

1101
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,880
People are actively making a 
choice between these things, 

1102
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:54,520
both both leaders and the 
average individual. 

1103
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:58,840
And it's hard to watch when 
subconsciously we know what's to

1104
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,560
come on each side of that. 
Do you get what I'm saying? 

1105
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:05,400
But like what you reap, you will
sow. 

1106
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:08,840
And we're really watching people
sow hard things right now. 

1107
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:12,960
And it's a hard thing to watch. 
But I do believe in the overall 

1108
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,720
development of each soul. 
I know that each soul is 

1109
00:51:15,720 --> 00:51:17,120
choosing what they need to 
develop. 

1110
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,240
And a lot of times from a human 
perspective, it's hard to watch.

1111
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,000
But from like a soul 
perspective, from an overall 

1112
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,600
perspective, I know the 
evolution that they're going to 

1113
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,560
achieve through whatever it is, 
we'll be worthy. 

1114
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:31,480
Because I've been the piece of 
shit friend who was fucking over

1115
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,840
my friends. 
I've been that person. 

1116
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:37,200
I've been a piece of shit who 
was talking over my friends and 

1117
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,680
my family and not giving a fuck 
about anyone else because I was 

1118
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,400
so wrapped up in my own pain and
my own trauma. 

1119
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,080
I've been that girl, you know 
what I'm saying? 

1120
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:44,520
So I know what it feels like to 
be that girl. 

1121
00:51:44,720 --> 00:51:49,080
But also I can say with full 
ferocity that I was supposed to 

1122
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:51,360
be her when I was being her. 
I know that, you know what I'm 

1123
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:52,520
saying? 
I don't regret that girl. 

1124
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,200
I wouldn't take her back. 
I'm proud of her in so many 

1125
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:56,160
ways. 
She taught me a lot about 

1126
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:58,080
myself. 
She taught other people a lot 

1127
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,720
about themselves. 
And when I teach on TikTok about

1128
00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:03,120
these things, like some people 
are made to be bad people and 

1129
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,200
some people are made to play the
villain role for three years, 

1130
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:06,880
five years, 10 years, a whole 
lifetime. 

1131
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,040
You know what I'm saying, that 
it's necessary. 

1132
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,960
But I think that our personal 
growth in response to that, 

1133
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,920
whether we've been that person 
or we've been hurt by that 

1134
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,400
person, that's what's of the 
utmost importance. 

1135
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,280
You know what I'm saying? 
Because I really do trust in 

1136
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:21,520
that, that if a person's hurt me
through their own bad behavior 

1137
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,160
for whatever reason, there's a 
lesson to be learned. 

1138
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,240
And it's like you said, 
sometimes you just have to take 

1139
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:26,760
a step away. 
Sometimes you just have to sit 

1140
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:27,920
and connect myself with that 
person. 

1141
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,200
Sometimes that's a lesson to be 
learned. 

1142
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,920
It's to walk off, you know what 
I'm saying? 

1143
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:33,560
With some of the people in my 
life, my, my goal has been like 

1144
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:35,840
complete no contact until they 
healed to certain levels. 

1145
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,240
And now I speak to those people 
every day. 

1146
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,000
I think that it really just 
comes down to how do we choose 

1147
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,400
to heal in the face of evil, 
betrayal, violence, 

1148
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,680
embarrassment, a bad friend, a 
bad relationship, a toxic 

1149
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,800
partner, a bad parent, a parent 
who is a piece of shit. 

1150
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,760
You know what I'm saying? 
It's really about like, how are 

1151
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,400
we going to respond to that? 
And and that's where that 

1152
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,040
transmutation comes in, because 
when you become a healing force 

1153
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,280
for the version of you that was 
hurt by those people, by the 

1154
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:02,160
version of you who hurt people, 
when you become the healer for 

1155
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,080
all of those, every hurt person 
and every person hurting people 

1156
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,200
has no option but to heal every 
time they come in contact with 

1157
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,760
you. 
And I notice this all the time. 

1158
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:13,040
Sometimes I like up like podcast
appointments, interviews, they 

1159
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,040
just won't work out. 
And I'm like, they're not ready 

1160
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:18,440
for this yet. 
Yeah, and that's exactly how I 

1161
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:22,840
felt like because there were 
logistics issues, there were 

1162
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:24,960
cancellations, there was timing 
issues. 

1163
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,800
Like there was so many issues 
that were like blocking this 

1164
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,600
conversation. 
But now I see that because we 

1165
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:33,560
were supposed to have a solo 
conversation because you and I 

1166
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:36,960
are on a vibration that's 
growing in the same direction 

1167
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,120
and other people are stagnant or
stepping off the rod or waiting 

1168
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,120
in line or they're in a 
different chapter. 

1169
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:44,800
And like you said, I love what 
you said. 

1170
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:49,160
I really honor the part of me 
that was like careless, 

1171
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,680
reckless, did drugs, partied. 
Like she was so fun. 

1172
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,000
She didn't give a fuck. 
We would hit Walmart at 3:00 in 

1173
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,520
the morning. 
She'd park her car on the side 

1174
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:57,960
of the road. 
She did not care. 

1175
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,680
And now I get anxiety like going
to the grocery store or I get 

1176
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:05,240
inside about the parking 
situation before I get there, 

1177
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:08,720
when literally before I would 
park my side like off the side 

1178
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:11,760
of a Cliff and go to a field 
party in a heartbeat. 

1179
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,880
And you know, you know, I see a 
lot of things based on like how 

1180
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:20,640
kids are growing up nowadays, 
like life, 360 Ring doorbells, 

1181
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:24,200
you know, all of these little 
tracking devices that like our 

1182
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,520
parents just literally thought 
we were at Jessica's house and 

1183
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,040
that we were at Jessica's house.
And we, and guess what you all, 

1184
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:31,480
we were never at Jessica's 
house. 

1185
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,560
Ever. 
Bro it's so funny now because my

1186
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,560
parents are dead so I can really
just out myself. 

1187
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:41,960
I'm like all the crazy shit I 
did as a teenager, they're going

1188
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:43,040
to be rolling over in their 
drugs. 

1189
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,480
But no, I completely feel you. 
I, I don't know. 

1190
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:47,920
I never really lost that part of
me. 

1191
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:52,000
I still, I guess for me, I've 
been a really, I don't even want

1192
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,720
to call it rebellious. 
I just always knew I was right 

1193
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:57,040
about shit growing up. 
Like I always knew that the 

1194
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,280
adults around me just didn't 
understand the way I understood.

1195
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,800
And then like I was really 
reckless as a teenager, but like

1196
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,840
I'm having a problem putting it 
down as an adult. 

1197
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:08,560
Like I still do really reckless 
shit sometimes. 

1198
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,120
Like I don't even mean to like 
sometimes I'm just like, this 

1199
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,360
will be fun. 
I ended up on an accidental date

1200
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,600
with like this guy who had just 
committed like, I don't know if 

1201
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,760
I can say murder on here, but 
like he just got out of prison 

1202
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:24,320
for murder and like SA like 
assault and had an ankle monitor

1203
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,400
on and everything. 
And I didn't even know it was 

1204
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,680
like a date. 
I thought I was just like, 

1205
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,520
having, like, I was running from
a domestic violence situation, 

1206
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:33,520
like, already. 
And I was like, alone in this 

1207
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,880
random city. 
And this guy just asked me to 

1208
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:38,520
come have lunch with him on 
Thanksgiving. 

1209
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,160
And he was an older man. 
So I was like, yeah, I think 

1210
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:42,960
that'd be nice, you know? 
And I'm an alchemist. 

1211
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,520
So like, I get drawn to like, 
older people or like people who 

1212
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,680
are lonely or like people who 
have struggles a lot. 

1213
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,560
So like, for me, my dumb ass. 
And I was like, oh, it's so 

1214
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,200
aligned. 
And it's just like an older man.

1215
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,600
And I was so excited to like, go
and like, just, like, be there 

1216
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,000
for him. 
It was so stupid. 

1217
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,640
And it wasn't until like 10 
minutes into the conversation 

1218
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,440
that, like, alarms start going 
off in my head. 

1219
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:03,720
And I'm like, I shouldn't be 
here. 

1220
00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:06,160
Like I shouldn't, couldn't be 
here if I'm being set up. 

1221
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,240
Bro, I'm gone and no one knows I
was even in the city. 

1222
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,400
And and it's just like small 
things like that where I'm like,

1223
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:16,160
I'm trying to grow out of it 
because bro, I'm still so down 

1224
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,400
for the like after my mom passed
away. 

1225
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,320
So my mom just passed away like 
5 months ago and I missed my 

1226
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,760
flight to Boston because of my 
family. 

1227
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:25,880
It's a long story there. 
I was like, I have to get the 

1228
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,760
hell out of this place. 
Like I took it as a sign I 

1229
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,400
wasn't supposed to go to Boston 
and I just bought a one way 

1230
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,360
flight to wherever. 
I googled one way flights from 

1231
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:34,880
Asheville. 
That's where I was my hometown 

1232
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,320
to anywhere and it was like 
Austin in three days. 

1233
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,920
And I was like cool, went to 
Texas, stayed in Austin for like

1234
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,840
2 weeks, met some like TikTok 
friends there, got on a train, 

1235
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,120
met this random lady from 
Argentina. 

1236
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,000
She's like don't go to San 
Antonio, come to Los Angeles 

1237
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,240
with me. 
And I'm not even fucking kidding

1238
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:52,400
me and my 2 cats traveled on 
train across the country to 

1239
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,040
California with this random 
lady. 

1240
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,920
It was fun. 
But like, I still have a habit 

1241
00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:59,400
of just being like, you know 
what? 

1242
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,720
Fuck you. 
Yeah, like, you know. 

1243
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:07,080
What this is giving like I went 
in my era, like starting in like

1244
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:11,400
2020 when my spiritual awakening
was like at its peak of like I 

1245
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,360
was really channelling my gifts.
I was taking Reiki classes, I 

1246
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:18,240
was connecting with people from 
all over the world and I went 

1247
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:22,040
into this era of just like if 
you invited me to your city, 

1248
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,200
baby, I was getting a plane 
ticket and I was coming and I 

1249
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,000
did that. 
I went to New Orleans, I went to

1250
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:30,360
fucking Arizona, I went to 
California and linked with girls

1251
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,000
from the Internet like and at 
the time like we used to 

1252
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,040
FaceTime all the time. 
We used to talk. 

1253
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:39,200
So like I knew that it wasn't 
super sketchy, but like the fact

1254
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:42,560
that I'm literally booking 
flights, people are picking me 

1255
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,440
up at the airport that I have 
never met. 

1256
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:48,320
Like it actually worked out 
really well until me and my 

1257
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:51,280
previous Co host met up in Utah 
with this girl from the Internet

1258
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,840
who tried to kill us all. 
So yeah, like, you know, it's 

1259
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,960
all fun and games until someone 
tries to kill you. 

1260
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:00,800
So it's weird because I went 
through that phase and like 

1261
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:02,720
where I think that I'm not 
reckless. 

1262
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,760
I still am kind of reckless. 
I'm just like completely sober 

1263
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,440
doing it now. 
So it's like that crazy. 

1264
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:12,880
I'm like, oh, that's normal. 
And like it is funny because a 

1265
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:15,280
lot of people that I've told 
those stories to are like, I 

1266
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:18,160
would never do that. 
So I don't necessarily even see 

1267
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,200
it as reckless until you started
talking about it. 

1268
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:22,600
And I have a very similar 
experience. 

1269
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:27,480
Like I got into my car and this 
was like a few years before I 

1270
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,880
knew what was going on with my 
spiritual journey. 

1271
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:33,560
And I just randomly got into my 
car and drove to Cleveland, OH, 

1272
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:37,840
parked my car at the train 
station and got on the train and

1273
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:42,280
I met a girl, ended up at her 
mom's house and stayed the night

1274
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,640
there. 
It was the craziest, wildest 

1275
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:46,200
thing that I've ever done, 
truly. 

1276
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,720
And that was like one of those 
things where it was like I 

1277
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:52,720
wasn't expecting to even meet 
someone. 

1278
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:56,560
And I didn't even realize I was 
even driving to Cleveland. 

1279
00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:00,000
Like I was just in the car and I
kind of was like going through a

1280
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:04,400
spiritual psychosis where I was 
still trying to like, navigate 

1281
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,160
hearing all these voices so 
loudly and like trying to 

1282
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:10,960
process what was happening. 
And I am telling you, like, I 

1283
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:15,080
got into my car and within the 
hour, someone stole my phone at 

1284
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:17,480
a gas station. 
And so I had no phone. 

1285
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,160
And I'm in my car and it was 
like a smart car. 

1286
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:23,760
So it had like data and it 
connected on the phone. 

1287
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,920
So people were calling my car. 
So if the car is running, they 

1288
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:29,880
could get a hold of me. 
And I like, had to explain to 

1289
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:31,840
them that I did not have my 
phone. 

1290
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:33,920
And people just could not 
understand that my phone got 

1291
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:37,680
stolen and and I was just like, 
I'll be home in a few days. 

1292
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,880
Well, they put a missing persons
out on me. 

1293
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,920
And when I finally made it home,
I went to my grandmother's house

1294
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:45,280
and she was like, you need to 
get ready. 

1295
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,920
We have to go to the Sheriff's 
Office because you have to do a 

1296
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:52,120
Wellness check or whatever. 
And so I was like, OK. 

1297
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:53,800
And she's like, no, you need to 
take a shower and put some 

1298
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:55,200
makeup on. 
You look rough. 

1299
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,840
And so I did that. 
And then we went to the 

1300
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:01,000
Sheriff's Office and they were 
just like, she looks fine to me.

1301
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:05,800
And they just like cleared it. 
But like I was under some like 

1302
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:09,080
spiritual, like, I don't know 
what it was. 

1303
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:13,000
It was like one of those things 
where like I wasn't in control 

1304
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,160
anymore. 
Like I was driving, I was 

1305
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:17,440
moving, I was grooving, but I 
wasn't in control. 

1306
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:19,920
Yeah. 
So I something that I've really 

1307
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,640
taken in a lot, especially with 
stories like these, and it's 

1308
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:26,240
something that I've taken more 
perspective on recently because 

1309
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,480
so I've been specializing in 
alchemy for the last six years. 

1310
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,480
And for the last year I've been 
transitioning out of this 

1311
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:37,600
specially and into a new one. 
And sorry, the angle just fell 

1312
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:42,080
there, but I've been 
transitioning into the art of 

1313
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,120
integration, right? 
Which is it's still a 

1314
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:46,720
subcategory of alchemy. 
So I still kind of specialize. 

1315
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,480
I'm just moving into like a 
deeper subcategory. 

1316
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:52,280
But there were a lot of reasons 
for this, and the main one being

1317
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:56,400
how my specialty was affecting 
my life because I was so used to

1318
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,200
trauma and I'm so used to chaos,
and my life was so traumatic 

1319
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:03,280
growing up that it was just 
always like this whirlwind 

1320
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,920
tornado. 
And so I stepped into alchemy 

1321
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:08,800
knowing this, knowing that all I
had been handed in life was 

1322
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:10,720
darkness, and that's all I had 
to work with. 

1323
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,920
So that's why I found alchemy 
and that's why I specialized in 

1324
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,280
it, because it was one place 
that really valued those things 

1325
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:16,680
and turned them into something, 
right? 

1326
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:20,320
And it wasn't until I started to
move into the integration 

1327
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:22,560
specialty that I started to 
recognize that a lot of the 

1328
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:25,320
trauma and chaos that's happened
in the last few years of my life

1329
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:29,840
wasn't like necessary written 
into my contract kind of chaos. 

1330
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:31,680
It was chaos that I was 
intentionally attracting to 

1331
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:34,200
myself. 
Random chaos because I'd gotten 

1332
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,400
so comfortable with creating 
something out of alchemy that I 

1333
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:41,080
had almost trained my energy to 
believe that I couldn't have 

1334
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:43,560
success without chaos. 
Wow. 

1335
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,440
And I think that a lot more 
people do this than we realize, 

1336
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,680
like especially those who've 
been infected by CPTSD and 

1337
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:52,840
trauma, like long term trauma or
domestic violence, that it's 

1338
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:56,440
like you said, after traumatic 
situations, toxic situations, we

1339
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,600
learned that that's when we 
alchemize the most. 

1340
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,840
We jump out of those situations 
and we create from them. 

1341
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:04,760
And a lot of times we walk 
ourselves into these like 

1342
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:08,360
straight up, like literal, like 
metaphoric Hells on earth on 

1343
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:09,880
purpose. 
And we'll sit back and we'll 

1344
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:12,120
reflect and be like, why would I
fucking do that to myself? 

1345
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,520
Why would I stay there? 
And we never give ourselves the 

1346
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:16,920
answer of like, because you were
learning from it, because you 

1347
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:18,760
were growing from it. 
You were being developing 

1348
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,400
characteristics and like traits.
And like that's where you 

1349
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,720
develop the most as a person. 
And for me, I've gotten such 

1350
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,680
clearview on this kind of like 
now how that chaos really was 

1351
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:30,240
like feeding me in a specific 
way. 

1352
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:32,800
And now I've obviously made the 
conscious decision that like, I 

1353
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,520
don't need chaos to be stable. 
I don't need chaos to be. 

1354
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:38,720
And now my life is stabilizing 
in such a real way because I 

1355
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,920
have consciously made that 
determination. 

1356
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,040
But it's something that I think 
is really, really relevant when 

1357
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:46,160
we're looking back at those 
times where we're like, why 

1358
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:48,120
would I just ensue all of this 
chaos? 

1359
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,840
It's likely because you needed 
it, you know, like, and because 

1360
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:54,440
you experience that level of 
chaos and those levels of like, 

1361
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:56,840
I shouldn't have lived through 
that, you will never fear 

1362
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:58,440
anything for the rest of your 
life. 

1363
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,440
Oh my God, you know what I'm 
saying? 

1364
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,760
Like I am the least scared bitch
of anything, like one of the 

1365
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:04,120
deepest. 
And I think This is why 

1366
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,960
sometimes I get reckless. 
I have a firm belief that I'm 

1367
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,680
not leaving this planet anytime 
soon. 

1368
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:12,160
I know some people are like, 
never take tomorrow for granted.

1369
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:14,080
Tomorrow may not last. 
Bullshit. 

1370
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:17,360
The way they're not letting me 
leave this fucking place anytime

1371
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:19,560
soon. 
They're dead ass. 

1372
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:23,000
Five things I want to add. 
So earlier we were talking no 

1373
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,240
and I wanted to say that my 
first word was no. 

1374
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:28,480
That's the very first word about
my mouth was no. 

1375
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:31,840
And I've thought about writing a
book called my first word was no

1376
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:34,920
and thinking about like 
boundaries and things like that 

1377
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:36,840
like it like a self help kind of
book. 

1378
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:41,440
And then another thing I was 
born on my dad's 26th birthday 

1379
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:46,360
and our birthday's on the 13th. 
So we have like Friday the 13th 

1380
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:50,000
birthdays and things like that. 
Well, when I was born my my 

1381
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:51,920
parents were like not really 
together. 

1382
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:55,840
They were definitely like karmic
partners going through a lot 

1383
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:58,680
back and forth like my mom hit 
him with a car and like they 

1384
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:01,280
were just doing too much at the 
time at the trailer park. 

1385
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:05,080
They were just wild. 
And so my mom and my dad like 

1386
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,040
we're not on good terms at the 
hospital. 

1387
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:11,280
And whenever I was born back in 
like the 90s, I guess they 

1388
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,880
really didn't induce labor like 
early. 

1389
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:18,360
So my mom like carried me like 
over nine months, like 9 1/2 

1390
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:21,280
months. 
So when she finally went into 

1391
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:24,400
labor, it was like a 24 hour 
process. 

1392
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:28,920
But when I came out, I basically
was like dead because I had 

1393
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:32,960
breathed in fecal matter because
I was in there so long and I was

1394
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,640
stuck in the birth canal. 
So they had to like pull me out.

1395
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:39,840
Long story short, like I, I died
and I have this very vivid 

1396
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:45,360
energy of like spirit or God or,
or someone being like, no, get 

1397
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:48,440
back in there now. 
And then I like was born and 

1398
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:52,000
like I was supposed to be called
Megan or Morgan and my mom just 

1399
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,880
randomly named me Paige. 
Just like that wasn't even on 

1400
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:57,120
the books. 
Like no one even knew that that 

1401
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:01,440
was even going to be a thing. 
And so flash forward now I live 

1402
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:06,680
in a condo that I purchased and 
someone named Megan overdosed 

1403
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:10,960
and died in my condo. 
And when I was going through my 

1404
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:14,720
awakening and getting sober and 
like really changing my life is 

1405
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:16,680
when I moved here seven years 
ago. 

1406
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:20,760
And I feel like Megan, since I 
was supposed to be a Megan, like

1407
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,240
I feel connected to the woman 
who passed away here. 

1408
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,840
So I like looked her up on 
Facebook and we started like 

1409
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:29,760
really bonding. 
Well, at that time I was, I was 

1410
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:33,400
alkalizing, transmuting a lot of
trauma, a lot of pain, a lot of 

1411
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:36,960
things I numbed out for years 
with alcohol and addiction. 

1412
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:40,800
And so during that, I was 
learning how to like break free 

1413
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:43,840
of debt because debt is a 
generational cycle that keeps 

1414
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:47,160
you stuck and keeps you in 
trauma loops and buying things 

1415
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:49,240
you don't need and, and things 
like that, that. 

1416
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:51,960
And so Megan was like helping me
work through this. 

1417
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,640
And I was manifesting checks, 
like checks in the mail. 

1418
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,840
And she started getting checks 
in the mail. 

1419
01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:59,320
And although we couldn't cash 
them together because she's 

1420
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:02,800
dead, she got several checks in 
the mail with her name on there.

1421
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,880
And they were like, if this 
isn't claimed by the state, you 

1422
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,160
know, we've contacted this 
people like, it was like an 

1423
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:12,560
inheritance of some sort. 
And I was just like God or the 

1424
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:14,840
universe or whatever, like you 
said, like everything has a 

1425
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:17,560
bigger plan. 
And somehow I ended up here at 

1426
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:21,880
this perfect time and was able 
to like transmute and get sober 

1427
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:26,600
and like heal so much in this 
space that now I just feel like 

1428
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:29,480
that was always a part of the 
plan, like the whole plan. 

1429
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:33,520
And like you said, like I see 
myself as someone who's going to

1430
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,280
be here for a really long time. 
I've always felt like that. 

1431
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:38,280
I've always felt like, no, I 
have time to go to Europe. 

1432
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:41,040
Like, no, I have time to do 
those things where other people 

1433
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:43,480
are like rushing. 
I don't feel rushed. 

1434
01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:46,880
And I got a reading one time and
they were like in your soul 

1435
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:50,800
plan, you're here to vibe and 
like teach people how to vibe, 

1436
01:06:50,880 --> 01:06:54,280
like to live their life, like to
be happy and content with where 

1437
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:57,120
we're at and like who we are. 
And like, I think that that's 

1438
01:06:57,120 --> 01:07:01,120
been such the breakthrough for 
me is that I'm not trying to be 

1439
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:03,000
anything. 
I'm becoming who I've like, 

1440
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:06,040
forgotten. 
Yes, well, and I think that 

1441
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:08,000
that's the point. 
I tell people all the time, like

1442
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,720
I'm not teaching you anything. 
I'm helping you remember 

1443
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:11,440
something. 
That's why I resonate with 

1444
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:13,880
people. 
Like like when you teach people 

1445
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:15,960
the deeper truth behind 
something or you say the deeper 

1446
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:18,000
truth, it's not about them 
believing you. 

1447
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,960
It's about them feeling 
something inside of themselves 

1448
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,760
that responds. 
Like like my favorite comments 

1449
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,040
aren't the ones that are like, I
feel all of this. 

1450
01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:29,760
It's the ones that go, you just 
made me unlock this. 

1451
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:33,640
You just made me realize this 
because it's not a process of 

1452
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:35,280
learning, it's a process of 
remembering. 

1453
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,480
It's so weird to me that like we
fucking name like somebody else 

1454
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:42,160
names us on this planet, right? 
Like that's just so strange. 

1455
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,680
Like you literally forget 
everything when you come here. 

1456
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:48,440
And like the people who 
remember, like Mateus to Stefano

1457
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:51,840
or those who have like memory of
like where they came from their 

1458
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:54,560
past lives, like all of those 
things and they're born with 

1459
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:56,440
that. 
They're like strange to us on 

1460
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:57,760
this planet. 
And I'm like, you guys know 

1461
01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:00,200
that's like fucking normal on 
other planets, right? 

1462
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:03,320
Like you don't forget when you 
Incarnate other places. 

1463
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:05,880
Like that's what makes Earth 
hard is the forgetting. 

1464
01:08:06,720 --> 01:08:10,040
But I also think that that's 
what makes teaching so 

1465
01:08:10,040 --> 01:08:11,520
beautiful. 
You know what I'm saying? 

1466
01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:13,600
Like, I don't want anyone to 
believe me. 

1467
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,360
I want you to come and have 
these experiences. 

1468
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,960
I want you to see what I have 
seen and feel what I felt. 

1469
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:21,240
I want you to have original 
experiences that so that it's 

1470
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,359
not a process of I think it's a 
process of I know you know what 

1471
01:08:24,359 --> 01:08:25,439
I'm saying. 
There are things on this planet 

1472
01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:28,479
you can never convince me 
otherwise of because I've seen 

1473
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:30,640
and felt them. 
You know what I'm saying? 

1474
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,600
Like, and if I'm crazy, let me 
be. 

1475
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:36,120
I don't give a fuck actually. 
If this is my delusion, fine, 

1476
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:39,560
I'm happy in it. 
And if none of this is real, OK.

1477
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:42,399
If I'm somewhere in a padded 
room, leave me the fuck alone. 

1478
01:08:42,399 --> 01:08:44,040
Don't give me medication, don't 
try to fix me. 

1479
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:46,399
I don't even care. 
Like this is just one of those 

1480
01:08:46,399 --> 01:08:47,960
things of like this is my 
experience. 

1481
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:49,920
And the one thing that I 
encourage people to trust above 

1482
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,600
everything else is their own 
experience. 

1483
01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,120
Again, however, if you're a 
person who knows you have 

1484
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:56,640
predisposition of hyposis or a 
problem like that, please go see

1485
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:57,960
a therapist. 
Do not listen to me when I say 

1486
01:08:57,960 --> 01:09:01,000
these things. 
But I really think that it's one

1487
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:04,319
of those things where, like, you
know, your own experience is the

1488
01:09:04,319 --> 01:09:06,760
one thing that you can trust. 
And like, I was raised in blind 

1489
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:09,399
faith and I think it's such 
bullshit because like, what do 

1490
01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:11,560
you mean I have to trust in 
something that can't talk back 

1491
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:13,600
to me? 
That's the most insane shit I've

1492
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,120
ever heard. 
If your gut doesn't talk to you,

1493
01:09:15,120 --> 01:09:16,920
bitch, they don't like you. 
Find a new one. 

1494
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:21,359
You know, I feel like we have 
just been brainwashed to not 

1495
01:09:21,359 --> 01:09:24,439
trust ourselves and to like seek
out answers. 

1496
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:27,840
And I'm always trying to tell my
grandma like, please turn off 

1497
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:30,240
the news, grandma. 
Like, please, please, please 

1498
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:33,399
turn off the news. 
And she just gets so worked up 

1499
01:09:33,399 --> 01:09:35,520
over things. 
But like, my grandmother is 

1500
01:09:35,520 --> 01:09:37,760
like, that's like my best friend
in this life. 

1501
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:39,800
Like we like I have her name 
tattooed on me. 

1502
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:43,000
Like we're just really close. 
And she like had to go do all 

1503
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:44,240
these tests and all these 
things. 

1504
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:46,560
And I'm always just like, my 
grandmother's going to live. 

1505
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:48,399
So she's 100. 
Like she's just going to be here

1506
01:09:48,399 --> 01:09:50,680
forever. 
And she went and she was like, I

1507
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:53,720
had all of these tests that they
ordered and guess what? 

1508
01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:58,600
They came back 100% perfect. 
Smoke cigarettes, like a freight

1509
01:09:58,600 --> 01:09:59,760
train. 
But I'm always like that. 

1510
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:02,720
My grandma can do that. 
Like she's been through a lot. 

1511
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:04,240
Like she can smoke and she'll be
fine. 

1512
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:07,280
But, you know, it's weird 
because so many people are so 

1513
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:12,560
attached to like life and 
material and like, you know, 

1514
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:17,400
their names or their roles that 
they play or their rules or 

1515
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,680
their, you know, titles, if you 
will. 

1516
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:24,880
And like the more that I have 
just detached from thinking any 

1517
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:27,880
certain thing, but like you 
said, just existing and like 

1518
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:32,880
moving into it the way that it 
feels natural for you has really

1519
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:35,880
helped me. 
Like, I don't care how I know 

1520
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:38,200
the information. 
I just know that I know it. 

1521
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:41,440
And you can either take that or 
you can leave that because it 

1522
01:10:41,440 --> 01:10:43,560
does not change what I believe 
or how I feel. 

1523
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:46,720
And that's why I think my 
journey like really resonated 

1524
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:49,520
with what your messages and like
what you were putting out that I

1525
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:52,000
instantly was like, Oh my gosh, 
I want to connect with this girl

1526
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:56,120
because just seems so like 
apologetic about where you're 

1527
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:58,920
at. 
And that is so inspiring because

1528
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:03,280
Spirit told me like 5 years ago 
that authenticity and like 

1529
01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:06,680
really just following your heart
would open the doors that need 

1530
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:08,760
to open and like, we'll take 
care of it. 

1531
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:12,400
And I just trusted that. 
Like I didn't question. 

1532
01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:14,800
I was scared. 
I was like, what do you mean? 

1533
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,840
Like people will just find me? 
And then what do you know, 

1534
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:19,160
people just find you. 
It's like natural. 

1535
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:21,920
Yeah, well, and I think that 
people don't understand the 

1536
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:24,160
authenticity of the basis is 
like the basis of it all. 

1537
01:11:24,440 --> 01:11:26,400
People are constantly looking 
for like a way to live. 

1538
01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:30,760
However the fuck you feel like 
honestly is the answer. 

1539
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:34,000
Like there's not a moral code 
that each that every person 

1540
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:36,160
supposed to follow. 
There's not rules. 

1541
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:40,760
Like it's literally about living
in alignment to you and like 

1542
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:43,840
being cool with it when that's 
not always the greatest person 

1543
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,280
because judging yourself when 
you're not the greatest person 

1544
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:47,560
is only going to make you be a 
worse one. 

1545
01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:51,160
Like I've never met one singular
bad person that you hand them 

1546
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:54,320
judgement and they become a 
better person ever in my entire 

1547
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:57,080
fucking life dude. 
Like it's just one of those 

1548
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:01,240
things of like understanding 
where you're coming from and I 

1549
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:04,400
think is always the best route. 
Like it's not about you were 

1550
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:07,480
wrong like ever telling yourself
you were wrong about a behavior 

1551
01:12:07,480 --> 01:12:09,280
or you feel the wrong way or you
think the wrong way. 

1552
01:12:09,480 --> 01:12:12,040
So much is ascertaining to why 
you feel that way in the 1st 

1553
01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:14,040
place or why you behave that way
in the 1st place. 

1554
01:12:14,320 --> 01:12:17,040
And that level of self 
understanding, that constant 

1555
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:20,200
asking yourself why you behave 
that way and how you would 

1556
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:23,680
prefer to behave is going to 
really switch your mind who 

1557
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:27,640
you're becoming and get us away 
from those aspects of like, 

1558
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:30,000
expecting someone else to tell 
us how to live. 

1559
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,680
I don't expect anyone to live 
like me. 

1560
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,640
Actually. 
You'd all probably die if you 

1561
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:36,800
tried, honestly. 
Like, I'm not even fucking 

1562
01:12:36,800 --> 01:12:37,840
kidding. 
This shit's dangerous. 

1563
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:42,240
My cats but not be happy about 
your story about taking your 

1564
01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:45,000
cats with you on the train. 
My cats would have flipped their

1565
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:46,840
shit. 
They would have been like, look 

1566
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:49,200
lady, I don't know what the fuck
you're doing, but you better get

1567
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:50,720
me back to my bed. 
Back in. 

1568
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:54,120
I get that comment so much 
because my cats have they've 

1569
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:57,360
been to 26 states now. 
They travel with me everywhere. 

1570
01:12:57,360 --> 01:13:01,280
I like hit this point where I 
was like because my last apt I 

1571
01:13:01,280 --> 01:13:02,760
was paying so much fucking 
money. 

1572
01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:05,560
It was literally like several 
$1000 a month for my cats to 

1573
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:08,200
live in an 18 story high rise 
because I was never fucking home

1574
01:13:08,440 --> 01:13:10,400
because I was just touring like 
10 months out of the year. 

1575
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:12,520
It was insane. 
And I was having cat sitters 

1576
01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:14,680
time there. 
It was just so expensive and I 

1577
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:17,040
felt like it was so unfair of my
cats because they just like we 

1578
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:19,200
were so connected. 
And so one day I was like fuck 

1579
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:21,120
this. 
And when my mom got sick I was 

1580
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:23,080
like I'm taking them they're 
just coming with me. 

1581
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:25,840
And they got on their first 
plane and they loved it. 

1582
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:28,360
They were so good. 
And my cats really like high 

1583
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:29,640
windows. 
Like I said, we were living in 

1584
01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:32,200
an 18 apartment, so like, they 
were already used to being up 

1585
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:35,640
high and they loved the plane. 
Like airport security stretched 

1586
01:13:35,640 --> 01:13:37,360
them out a little bit. 
But besides that, they loved 

1587
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:38,800
making friends. 
And they have this little 

1588
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:41,840
backpack that's like a clear 
bubble window and they just like

1589
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:44,360
to cuddle with each other. 
And they've been on so many 

1590
01:13:44,360 --> 01:13:45,560
plane rides. 
I can't even tell you. 

1591
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:47,760
My cats are more well traveled 
than most people I know. 

1592
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:50,480
And then the vast majority of 
them, honestly, they love 

1593
01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:53,760
traveling trainers in the potty,
trained like on a human toilet. 

1594
01:13:54,080 --> 01:13:57,280
So like, it makes the travel 
process just really easy. 

1595
01:13:57,280 --> 01:14:00,840
And yeah, they'll like, let me 
know if if they like the hotel 

1596
01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:03,280
room that we're in or not. 
They're very spoiled cats. 

1597
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:05,880
So like, they won't drink 
anything except ice water. 

1598
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:09,800
One of them, I missed a flight 
in Austin because one of them 

1599
01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:14,240
got out of my friend's house and
I missed a flight because of her

1600
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:16,040
and had to leave like a week 
later. 

1601
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:19,000
And my friend was like, aren't 
you worried about her coming 

1602
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:20,880
back? 
And I was like, no, because 

1603
01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:22,880
like, she's going to start 
getting thirsty and who's going 

1604
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:25,080
to know to give her ice water? 
How is she going to communicate 

1605
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:26,880
that with any other adult? 
Who's she going to live with? 

1606
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:29,640
Like, nobody's going to serve 
these cats and the way I serve 

1607
01:14:29,640 --> 01:14:32,280
these cats. 
So yeah, they're like the best. 

1608
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,640
And people commentate a lot on 
like, how well behaved they are.

1609
01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:37,880
And I'm like, yeah, they have to
be to be my cats. 

1610
01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:42,000
Like, dude, I would the one time
my cat, like, really upset me, 

1611
01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:44,520
it was so for the younger 1. 
And I like, looked her in the 

1612
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:46,760
face and I was like, I will send
you to the pound next time. 

1613
01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:49,080
And I meant that she was my 
whole sober. 

1614
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:53,480
She hasn't acted up again since.
It's just like they're really 

1615
01:14:53,480 --> 01:14:55,400
well behaved cats. 
They're very sweet and they're 

1616
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:58,040
just so quiet. 
They like, just cuddle and like 

1617
01:14:58,040 --> 01:15:01,160
hang out and like, they never 
cause any problems. 

1618
01:15:01,160 --> 01:15:02,760
Most people don't even know 
they're there when I'm 

1619
01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:04,680
traveling. 
Like people are shocked when I, 

1620
01:15:04,680 --> 01:15:06,240
like, go to leave And they're 
like those cats been on the 

1621
01:15:06,240 --> 01:15:08,080
plane for seven hours and like, 
of course I have. 

1622
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:12,440
And you know about the potty 
training, Like, how did you do 

1623
01:15:12,440 --> 01:15:14,200
that? 
Because that sounds like heaven.

1624
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:16,640
It was so much easier than I 
thought it was gonna be. 

1625
01:15:16,640 --> 01:15:21,400
So I was traveling through Texas
and so basically when I travel 

1626
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:23,840
and I'm like moving from hotel 
to hotel, I'll just like throw 

1627
01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:26,360
out the entire litter box I 
bought in the last place and 

1628
01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:28,600
just buy a new one already 
because I'm not traveling with a

1629
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:31,360
dirty litter box even if I 
cleaned it like it's just a lot.

1630
01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:34,560
But it seemed, it seemed just 
super wasteful and it was also 

1631
01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:37,240
expensive. 
And it, it worked a little bit 

1632
01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:39,400
better when I was staying in 
like 1 city for like 2 weeks and

1633
01:15:39,400 --> 01:15:41,360
then moving to the next one. 
But when I was traveling through

1634
01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:44,480
Texas, I was moving like week to
week from city to city and it 

1635
01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:49,200
was just so stupid. 
So I was like looking online for

1636
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:52,680
like potty training cats and I 
found this kit that like has 

1637
01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:55,520
like, I guess like, pull out 
tabs where you like, train them 

1638
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,360
up on it. 
But I was like, OK, so I tried 

1639
01:15:58,360 --> 01:16:00,560
to find a PetSmart. 
None of the stores near me had 

1640
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,800
one anywhere. 
And I was like, all right, I'm 

1641
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:04,120
just going to engineer this 
shit. 

1642
01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:06,600
And so I just took a plastic 
bag. 

1643
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,840
I put it over like the toilets, 
like the actual toilet, and then

1644
01:16:09,840 --> 01:16:11,960
drop the toilet seat over it. 
And I just filled it with a 

1645
01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:14,520
little bit like cat litter. 
And I figured, like with the 

1646
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:16,360
bag, I could just pull the cat 
litter and everything out so 

1647
01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:18,600
nothing would get like flushed 
in like the hotel's toilet. 

1648
01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:20,880
Like I didn't want to damage 
their shit or whatever. 

1649
01:16:20,880 --> 01:16:24,080
And within an hour I hear 
something and I was like, no 

1650
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,400
fucking way. 
And I go in and six, he was like

1651
01:16:26,400 --> 01:16:28,400
my soul. 
She was using it. 

1652
01:16:28,520 --> 01:16:30,520
And I was like, there's no 
fucking way, bro. 

1653
01:16:30,520 --> 01:16:33,320
Within an hour, she like got the
picture immediately she got the 

1654
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:35,200
program and I was like, this is 
crazy. 

1655
01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:38,760
And so I started to move it like
halfway, oh, like halfway to the

1656
01:16:38,760 --> 01:16:40,360
toilet. 
So like half of it was litter in

1657
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:42,600
a plastic bag and the other half
was just a toilet, like trying 

1658
01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:45,960
to like close the gap. 
And as soon as I did that, 6 

1659
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:47,520
started using like the space 
behind it. 

1660
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,640
Like I could hear her peeing in 
the water. 

1661
01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:52,080
And I was like, bro, this is 
awesome. 

1662
01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,520
The hardest part, I think, was 
getting them not to dig. 

1663
01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:56,640
Like his cats have a natural 
instinct to bear. 

1664
01:16:57,160 --> 01:16:58,880
So like, I think that that was 
the hardest part. 

1665
01:16:59,440 --> 01:17:02,000
But I taught her to flush 
instead of dig, like to like 

1666
01:17:02,480 --> 01:17:05,920
push up on that. 
And she picked it up really 

1667
01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:07,200
easy. 
And I was worried about the 

1668
01:17:07,240 --> 01:17:11,560
younger cat, but six, my older 
cat trained her on how to use it

1669
01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:15,120
in like 4 or five days. 
So in under a week in a random 

1670
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:17,240
city in Texas, both of my cats 
were potty trained. 

1671
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:22,280
I know, I know. 
And some of those moments make 

1672
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:23,920
me believe in witchcraft more 
than anything else. 

1673
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:24,920
I'm like, no, you don't 
understand. 

1674
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:29,960
Me and my cats have celebrity. 
Like they can hear me okay, 

1675
01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:32,080
like. 
It was funny because I was like 

1676
01:17:32,080 --> 01:17:34,760
going live at that time like two
or three times a week. 

1677
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:38,280
So like the people on my life 
kind of like watched my cat get 

1678
01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:40,720
potty trained with me. 
It was kind of cool to like 

1679
01:17:40,720 --> 01:17:43,200
experience with my audience. 
They were like, that's the 

1680
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:44,840
craziest shit I've ever seen in 
my entire life. 

1681
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:47,120
I was like 6 is a fucking smart 
cat, bro. 

1682
01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:50,480
She's intelligent. 
She already used like the 

1683
01:17:50,520 --> 01:17:52,640
shower. 
Like she was already trained to 

1684
01:17:52,680 --> 01:17:54,560
a place where like if she didn't
have a litter box and needed to 

1685
01:17:54,560 --> 01:17:56,560
use 1 and I brought her to a 
place for the shower, she just 

1686
01:17:56,560 --> 01:17:58,160
like use it. 
Hi Kitten AS. 

1687
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,680
Soon as you were talking about 
Soul Cat, he was like, all 

1688
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:05,240
right, fine, I'll get up. 
He's both of mine are also black

1689
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:05,760
I. 
Love that. 

1690
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:09,240
That'll be fine. 
I'll get up from my nap for this

1691
01:18:09,240 --> 01:18:11,320
is Phoenix. 
He's a spoiled boy. 

1692
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,160
He has big fangs. 
So I'm gonna show him your 

1693
01:18:14,160 --> 01:18:14,640
fangs. 
I. 

1694
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,600
Love that. 
Oh my goodness, these are big. 

1695
01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:20,960
Yeah, they're really big. 
And one time there was a pet 

1696
01:18:20,960 --> 01:18:26,160
psychic that I took him to and 
that I was like, I was like, I 

1697
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:29,440
had to get in decalled as a 
kitten because he he was very 

1698
01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:32,280
aggressive, like like mean 
aggressive. 

1699
01:18:32,640 --> 01:18:36,040
And so she was like, well, he 
just wants you to know that 

1700
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:41,880
that's okay because he, he likes
to bite instead. 

1701
01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:44,400
And I was like, yeah, but like, 
he'll bite really hard. 

1702
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,400
And I was like, why does he do 
that? 

1703
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,160
I was like, I'm always afraid of
like new people coming around 

1704
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:52,520
him because he likes to bite. 
And she was like, well, he said 

1705
01:18:52,520 --> 01:18:54,640
he doesn't draw blood, so it's 
fine. 

1706
01:18:54,640 --> 01:18:58,000
And I'm like, that is literally 
like, if you look at him, that's

1707
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:00,840
like. 
That's such a good answer. 

1708
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,720
But that is such a real fucking 
fact. 

1709
01:19:03,720 --> 01:19:07,400
And like he always, he's like my
Egyptian Kitty cat. 

1710
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:10,840
He was like my guard cat. 
And so he's like, like really, 

1711
01:19:10,840 --> 01:19:14,920
really been such a beautiful 
animal and like, he's so spoiled

1712
01:19:14,920 --> 01:19:18,040
and like, he cracks me up 
because he thinks he's going to 

1713
01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:21,560
like run outside and then he'll 
get out there and he'll, he'll 

1714
01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:24,280
get scared and he'll want to 
come back in like instantly. 

1715
01:19:24,280 --> 01:19:26,520
And I'm like, see, you're not 
even big. 

1716
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:29,520
Like you think you are. 
Like you're not, you're not a 

1717
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,760
big scary Panther like you were 
in a past life. 

1718
01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:33,080
Like you better get your ass in 
this house. 

1719
01:19:34,080 --> 01:19:38,040
But you know, I think animals in
general have such a spiritual 

1720
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:40,760
quality. 
But like cats, I've always been 

1721
01:19:40,760 --> 01:19:43,880
a cat person and I've always 
just like, I've just always 

1722
01:19:43,880 --> 01:19:45,160
known that I was going to have 
cats. 

1723
01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:49,960
Like I want Loki to have a farm 
so I can have like all kinds of 

1724
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:52,160
cats, like outdoor cats. 
I'd love that. 

1725
01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:54,920
See, that's so valid. 
You know, both of mine are 

1726
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:59,280
indoor cats and six got out 
twice and got pregnant both 

1727
01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:02,440
times. 
She's just kind of a hoe. 

1728
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,360
And then she got out in Texas 
once again. 

1729
01:20:06,440 --> 01:20:09,760
And but her thing is like she'll
go on like whole ass adventures 

1730
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:11,280
bro. 
She'll be gone for like 3-4 

1731
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,680
days. 
And I'm just like dude, I can't 

1732
01:20:13,680 --> 01:20:16,880
blame her though because I also 
disappear for like weeks at a 

1733
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:20,120
time from everyone who knows me.
So like I what am I supposed to 

1734
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:20,800
do? 
Get mad? 

1735
01:20:21,080 --> 01:20:24,320
You know what I'm saying? 
And she's just like yeah they're

1736
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:27,720
both indoor cats and I love them
but like I was never allowed to 

1737
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:30,520
have animals growing up. 6 was 
my first cat ever and then she 

1738
01:20:30,520 --> 01:20:35,200
had a litter of 6 all Black Cats
which is so rare and I rehomed 

1739
01:20:35,200 --> 01:20:37,440
all of them. 
And then we went to a new state 

1740
01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:39,760
and she got out again and got 
pregnant again and had another 

1741
01:20:39,760 --> 01:20:43,360
litter of 6 all Black Cats. 
And I was like, OK, well I have 

1742
01:20:43,360 --> 01:20:45,600
to keep 1, so that's where I got
sulfur from. 

1743
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,920
And yeah, they're the cutest 
thing ever together. 

1744
01:20:49,200 --> 01:20:52,040
But like 6 refuses to be her 
mom. 6 is like her sister. 

1745
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:54,680
Like as soon as they were like 
done breastfeeding, 6 was like, 

1746
01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:56,400
get these things the fuck away 
from me, get them out of my 

1747
01:20:56,400 --> 01:20:59,320
house. 
And now with sulfur, she's like,

1748
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:02,160
yeah, like she doesn't like 
parent her, but she's like very 

1749
01:21:02,160 --> 01:21:05,000
like sister like with her, which
is really funny because that's 

1750
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:07,080
like me and my biological mom. 
Were they like the exact same 

1751
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:08,760
way? 
I'm like, you're my mom, but 

1752
01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:11,160
you're, you're like my sister, 
you know what I'm saying? 

1753
01:21:11,160 --> 01:21:13,320
Like like I. 
Kind of have that relationship 

1754
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:15,520
with my mom too, because like 
I'm an only child. 

1755
01:21:15,520 --> 01:21:19,640
My mom is an only child and me 
and her have always had like a 

1756
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:22,280
sisterly connection, which has 
always like LED us to butt 

1757
01:21:22,280 --> 01:21:25,000
heads. 
But like a lot of my healing was

1758
01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:28,880
realizing that like my mom was 
just someone in her 20s like 

1759
01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:31,840
trying to figure it out and she 
really didn't have a good grip 

1760
01:21:31,840 --> 01:21:34,360
on it. 
And she's still like invited the

1761
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:36,880
friends over for the smoke sesh 
even though she had a four year 

1762
01:21:36,880 --> 01:21:39,880
old that could smell it, you 
know, like she was just like 

1763
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:42,280
vibing. 
And I always like to say like 

1764
01:21:42,680 --> 01:21:48,080
I'm literally like at my mom's 
age and she had a toddler, like 

1765
01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:52,120
she had a fucking child. 
And my mom like really did do 

1766
01:21:52,120 --> 01:21:54,360
her best when I was like 10 and 
younger. 

1767
01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:58,920
But then like 10 and older, I 
like started getting exposed to 

1768
01:21:58,920 --> 01:22:02,400
things or she wasn't around or 
neighbors or, you know, it just 

1769
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:05,720
shit happens. 
And like being able to take that

1770
01:22:05,720 --> 01:22:08,280
blame away and just be like my 
mom was just human. 

1771
01:22:08,640 --> 01:22:11,320
She was going through her own 
shit, her own addictions, her 

1772
01:22:11,320 --> 01:22:15,040
own alcoholism, like dealing 
with her own trauma from her dad

1773
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:18,320
passing away when she was young.
Like she just didn't know. 

1774
01:22:18,320 --> 01:22:22,160
Like she like she wanted me to 
be like her friend, like rather 

1775
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:25,160
than her daughter because she 
was just alone. 

1776
01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:29,120
And like, she just wanted 
someone to like see her or be 

1777
01:22:29,120 --> 01:22:30,160
there with her. 
I don't know. 

1778
01:22:30,160 --> 01:22:34,520
So like, a lot of my healing was
just like giving people grace to

1779
01:22:34,520 --> 01:22:39,160
like, just be the 2030 year old 
that they were without expecting

1780
01:22:39,160 --> 01:22:40,840
them to have it all figured out.
Yeah. 

1781
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:44,600
Well, and I think, I think, you 
know, there's a phrase that goes

1782
01:22:44,600 --> 01:22:48,520
around in like the normal people
world of like, it's your mom's 

1783
01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:51,440
first time living too. 
And I don't really necessarily 

1784
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:55,160
believe that, but I do think 
that it's relevant to like, 

1785
01:22:55,160 --> 01:22:58,240
because I, in contrast, I, I 
have these moments a lot where 

1786
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:01,440
like I was just getting really 
fed up, which is like whatever 

1787
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:03,400
in life is happening. 
Or I'll just get really 

1788
01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,760
overwhelmed and I'll like start 
crying and I'll just talk to the

1789
01:23:05,760 --> 01:23:07,560
universe and I'll be like, I 
understand. 

1790
01:23:07,720 --> 01:23:11,520
I'm Mariah and I'm like, this is
my job and like, it's important 

1791
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:14,640
or whatever. 
But I'm also a 28 year old girl.

1792
01:23:14,640 --> 01:23:17,720
I'm also a 27 year old girl and 
I deserve to be treated like 

1793
01:23:17,720 --> 01:23:19,600
that sometimes. 
Like sometimes you just have to 

1794
01:23:19,600 --> 01:23:22,200
let me be a fucking normal 
person. 

1795
01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:25,040
And like I understand like the 
life path or whatever. 

1796
01:23:25,320 --> 01:23:27,240
And I try to apply that to 
people, you know what I'm 

1797
01:23:27,240 --> 01:23:28,840
saying? 
Like the older I've gotten, the 

1798
01:23:28,840 --> 01:23:31,720
more I've understood every 
single decision and every single

1799
01:23:31,720 --> 01:23:33,400
mindset my biological mother 
ever had. 

1800
01:23:33,840 --> 01:23:36,000
Like the older I've gotten, the 
more I just like, even if I 

1801
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:38,280
wouldn't have made that choice, 
I understand exactly how she got

1802
01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:39,680
there. 
I understand exactly how she 

1803
01:23:39,680 --> 01:23:41,160
thought that that was going to 
work out. 

1804
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:43,520
I don't think she's stupid for 
making that decision, you know 

1805
01:23:43,520 --> 01:23:45,600
what I'm saying? 
Like she, she took like a 

1806
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:47,680
chance. 
And again, I've been the person 

1807
01:23:47,680 --> 01:23:49,760
who took bad chances that hurt 
other people. 

1808
01:23:50,040 --> 01:23:54,240
But I think that for me, I love 
the person that I've become so 

1809
01:23:54,240 --> 01:23:57,880
much that I don't really resent 
the people who created it, even 

1810
01:23:57,880 --> 01:24:00,520
in a harmful way. 
Like I was abused very heavily 

1811
01:24:00,720 --> 01:24:02,680
by a grown man in my childhood. 
I don't hate him. 

1812
01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:05,240
Had that not happened to me, 
there are thousands of people I 

1813
01:24:05,240 --> 01:24:07,840
never could have connected with.
There's that hundreds of 

1814
01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:11,160
thousands of people that I've 
taught beautiful lessons to. 

1815
01:24:11,160 --> 01:24:13,280
I have changed entire lives 
through my trauma. 

1816
01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:15,880
Like there every single 
beautiful thing about me has 

1817
01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:18,960
come through someone being a 
complete piece of shit to me 

1818
01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:21,600
when I didn't deserve it, almost
every beautiful part and the 

1819
01:24:21,600 --> 01:24:23,040
person I chose to become through
that. 

1820
01:24:23,360 --> 01:24:25,880
And I like really don't regret 
anything that's ever happened to

1821
01:24:25,880 --> 01:24:27,120
me. 
And I understand, I guess at 

1822
01:24:27,120 --> 01:24:30,280
this point in my life, how 
everything was always meant to 

1823
01:24:30,280 --> 01:24:32,240
happen in exactly the way that 
it was. 

1824
01:24:32,480 --> 01:24:35,880
But it's helped me find so much 
forgiveness for every person, 

1825
01:24:35,880 --> 01:24:39,040
whoever hurt me because like, 
and it's kind of fucked up to 

1826
01:24:39,040 --> 01:24:41,080
think about sometimes, you know,
because I think about soul 

1827
01:24:41,080 --> 01:24:43,000
contracts and the fact that 
like, we make agreements with 

1828
01:24:43,000 --> 01:24:45,720
basically every person we meet 
on this planet to play those 

1829
01:24:45,720 --> 01:24:47,600
roles in each other's lives, you
know, and that's my like 

1830
01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:50,160
fundamental belief. 
And to think that a soul 

1831
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:52,600
genuinely cared about my 
evolution so deeply that they 

1832
01:24:52,600 --> 01:24:55,680
agreed to come and play such an 
awful fucking role in my life. 

1833
01:24:56,360 --> 01:24:58,560
It's kind of powerful when you 
think about it. 

1834
01:24:58,560 --> 01:25:01,560
Like that soul chose to make, 
and I don't know what their soul

1835
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:02,960
was learning. 
For whatever reason, their soul 

1836
01:25:02,960 --> 01:25:04,600
had to like learn to be an 
abuser. 

1837
01:25:04,920 --> 01:25:07,360
They, they had to choose an 
entire incarnation of being a 

1838
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:09,480
shitty person. 
I, I can only imagine what that 

1839
01:25:09,480 --> 01:25:11,080
soul was like learning in the 
process. 

1840
01:25:11,280 --> 01:25:13,960
And it's really helped me find a
lot of contentment in like, not 

1841
01:25:13,960 --> 01:25:16,240
taking things personally, you 
know what I'm saying? 

1842
01:25:16,240 --> 01:25:19,200
Because like, and also 
simultaneously taking them super

1843
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:22,520
personally, like understanding I
am so important have always been

1844
01:25:22,520 --> 01:25:25,240
the most important part of the 
story, but also understanding 

1845
01:25:25,240 --> 01:25:27,840
that, like, they weren't doing 
that to me because I'm an awful 

1846
01:25:27,840 --> 01:25:29,360
shitty person. 
Actually, On the contrary, the 

1847
01:25:29,360 --> 01:25:31,040
universe allowed me to 
experience that so I could 

1848
01:25:31,040 --> 01:25:34,040
become so much more than I was 
before that prior to that, you 

1849
01:25:34,040 --> 01:25:35,920
know? 
And it's just really interesting

1850
01:25:35,920 --> 01:25:39,880
concepts to think around. 
Yeah, you know, adding to that, 

1851
01:25:40,480 --> 01:25:43,040
approaching things with 
curiosity has helped me so 

1852
01:25:43,040 --> 01:25:45,520
fucking much. 
Rather than judging and just 

1853
01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:49,120
being curious as to like why 
that unfolded like that, why 

1854
01:25:49,120 --> 01:25:53,320
that situation was like that. 
And another thing, I read the 

1855
01:25:53,320 --> 01:25:56,080
four agreements, which is like 
don't take things personally. 

1856
01:25:56,080 --> 01:25:57,640
And that is literally stuck with
me. 

1857
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:00,480
Like be impeccable with your 
word and don't think things 

1858
01:26:00,480 --> 01:26:05,680
personally has changed my life 
because I seen in the past where

1859
01:26:05,680 --> 01:26:10,520
I used my words, my spells to 
hurt people, to say some things,

1860
01:26:10,520 --> 01:26:14,120
to be a fucking bitch. 
And like although that part of 

1861
01:26:14,120 --> 01:26:17,720
me still exists in there 
somewhere when I want to be like

1862
01:26:17,720 --> 01:26:21,240
that, I just silence. 
I just block you or I just 

1863
01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:24,840
remove you or I just completely 
detach because like, even though

1864
01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:27,600
I know you're doing something 
wrong or I know you're being a 

1865
01:26:27,600 --> 01:26:32,320
manipulative liar, crackhead 
fool, whatever you're doing, I'm

1866
01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:34,160
gonna let you do it. 
I'm gonna let you do it because 

1867
01:26:34,160 --> 01:26:37,960
that's the new me. 
The new me is at grace and at 

1868
01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:41,920
peace with things being exactly 
how they are without me trying 

1869
01:26:41,920 --> 01:26:44,400
to control them or trying to 
change them or trying to 

1870
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:46,800
influence them. 
And I think that is like the 

1871
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:51,480
most powerful thing that people 
can learn right now is like, 

1872
01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:54,120
don't just let people have 
access to you like that. 

1873
01:26:54,120 --> 01:26:56,880
Like don't be letting them 
ruffle your feathers and get you

1874
01:26:56,880 --> 01:26:59,800
in your feels like that because 
you're literally handling 

1875
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:03,560
handing your torch to them and 
saying cool, light your fire. 

1876
01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:05,000
I'm gonna set over here in the 
cold. 

1877
01:27:05,240 --> 01:27:09,680
Yeah, yeah, I something I do is 
I physically separate and apply 

1878
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:12,600
a processing fan mentally 
because like I forget people 

1879
01:27:12,600 --> 01:27:15,960
exist, honestly, like even my 
friends who I talk to you like I

1880
01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:17,680
just forget that everyone else 
exists. 

1881
01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:20,160
It's funny to me because like on
social media people will be 

1882
01:27:20,160 --> 01:27:21,880
like, who do you watch on social
media and the most? 

1883
01:27:21,880 --> 01:27:25,480
And it's like me, I don't watch 
other people's stories or like, 

1884
01:27:25,480 --> 01:27:28,880
you know what I'm saying? 
Like it's just kind of like, and

1885
01:27:28,880 --> 01:27:31,200
I watch a lot of my own content 
because I'm channeling to me 

1886
01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:32,800
too. 
Like I also learned from that. 

1887
01:27:33,600 --> 01:27:36,680
And I think that it's one of 
those things of like, I will 

1888
01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:39,160
forget somebody exists. 
But when you have really 

1889
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:42,280
irritated me, you'll you'll fall
back in my brain a lot. 

1890
01:27:42,640 --> 01:27:45,440
And I have a bad habit of 
unintentionally cursing people 

1891
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:50,160
by like wanting them to grow. 
Like I just like, I'll want you 

1892
01:27:50,160 --> 01:27:52,000
to grow. 
But the way that I learn and the

1893
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:54,160
way that I grow is like trial by
fire. 

1894
01:27:54,520 --> 01:27:57,600
So if I like without intention, 
I'm like, you can grow from 

1895
01:27:57,600 --> 01:27:59,320
that. 
I'm literally sending that 

1896
01:27:59,320 --> 01:28:01,520
person hell on earth. 
Quite frankly, like I say all 

1897
01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:03,800
the time, other people couldn't 
deal with, I deal with what I 

1898
01:28:03,800 --> 01:28:05,160
deal with. 
But then when somebody like 

1899
01:28:05,160 --> 01:28:07,440
needs to learn something, I'm 
like, you learn it this way 

1900
01:28:08,640 --> 01:28:11,320
knowing they can't deal with it.
So I, so I started applying 

1901
01:28:11,320 --> 01:28:12,440
something called a processing 
fan. 

1902
01:28:12,440 --> 01:28:15,120
So like when people who have 
irritated me start to come up in

1903
01:28:15,120 --> 01:28:18,040
my brain, I just have like a 
little fan in my brain that I 

1904
01:28:18,040 --> 01:28:20,600
apply on both sides. 
So it helps me process whatever 

1905
01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:22,800
feelings I'm having, whatever 
judgments I'm having, but it 

1906
01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:25,840
also helps them process through 
the lens of understanding how 

1907
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:29,920
they were so goddamn wrong. 
And it makes my human side feel 

1908
01:28:29,920 --> 01:28:31,320
better. 
But also it's my spiritual side 

1909
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:34,240
because I'm like allowing myself
to process, but also physically 

1910
01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:37,880
healing. 
Because like, for me, I, I don't

1911
01:28:37,880 --> 01:28:41,560
know, I can be such a bitch when
someone really does me dirty. 

1912
01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:43,840
Because like, why the fuck would
you do that, ho? 

1913
01:28:43,840 --> 01:28:46,640
Like whatever you were jealous 
of or envious of or whatever the

1914
01:28:46,640 --> 01:28:48,400
issue was. 
I'm the easiest fucking person 

1915
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:51,400
to talk to genuinely. 
I mean, unless you're a bitch, 

1916
01:28:51,640 --> 01:28:53,960
but that's besides the point. 
But like, I, I'm really 

1917
01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:58,000
commutative and I just like, I, 
I, I tend to believe that I 

1918
01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:00,160
handle things well. 
So when people go out of their 

1919
01:29:00,160 --> 01:29:03,080
way to kind of like wrong me, it
upsets me. 

1920
01:29:03,080 --> 01:29:06,120
And this processing fan just 
really helps me not be a fucking

1921
01:29:06,120 --> 01:29:07,880
cunt with my energy and thoughts
and words. 

1922
01:29:08,240 --> 01:29:10,360
You know what I'm saying? 
Because I have a bad habit of 

1923
01:29:10,360 --> 01:29:12,800
just being like, all right, 
well, you'll learn one way or 

1924
01:29:12,800 --> 01:29:14,040
another, and you can watch this 
one. 

1925
01:29:14,040 --> 01:29:15,640
I hope you enjoyed this, you 
know. 

1926
01:29:16,000 --> 01:29:20,200
It's actually been a big part of
my practice is like activating 

1927
01:29:20,200 --> 01:29:23,440
people's spiritual awakenings. 
It's like, oh, you want to try 

1928
01:29:23,440 --> 01:29:25,720
to disrupt my piece? 
I'm going to go ahead and show 

1929
01:29:25,720 --> 01:29:28,280
you the mirror and you're going 
to focus on your own spiritual 

1930
01:29:28,280 --> 01:29:30,440
awakening or you're going to 
focus on your own growth or your

1931
01:29:30,440 --> 01:29:32,520
own healing. 
Because the only reason people 

1932
01:29:32,520 --> 01:29:36,000
want to project or try to dim 
someone else's light is based on

1933
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:39,080
their own insecurities, based on
their own, like you said, 

1934
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:41,400
jealousy or envy or whatever it 
is. 

1935
01:29:41,440 --> 01:29:45,360
And that's the thing that people
don't realize is like high 

1936
01:29:45,360 --> 01:29:48,960
vibration and low vibration 
doesn't necessarily mean good or

1937
01:29:48,960 --> 01:29:51,680
bad because a high vibration 
could be excitement, but it 

1938
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:54,600
could also be anger. 
And a low vibration could be 

1939
01:29:54,600 --> 01:29:56,400
peace and it could also be 
sadness. 

1940
01:29:56,440 --> 01:29:59,880
You know, like people like to 
dictate things as like high vibe

1941
01:29:59,880 --> 01:30:02,040
or low vibe or that's still in 
my vibe. 

1942
01:30:02,040 --> 01:30:06,160
But like all vibes have a place 
on the spectrum, you know what I

1943
01:30:06,160 --> 01:30:08,280
mean? 
Like all vibes have a place, but

1944
01:30:08,280 --> 01:30:12,480
me choosing peace rather than 
giving you a reaction is me 

1945
01:30:12,480 --> 01:30:17,440
truly staying in my energy 
because most times when we are 

1946
01:30:17,440 --> 01:30:21,000
being tested, it's because like 
your guys in the universe is 

1947
01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:23,560
like sitting there with popcorn.
Like, how is she going to handle

1948
01:30:23,560 --> 01:30:25,040
this? 
Is she going to react? 

1949
01:30:25,200 --> 01:30:26,800
Is she going to give her power 
away? 

1950
01:30:26,800 --> 01:30:29,800
And you know, like even just 
like what you said earlier at 

1951
01:30:29,800 --> 01:30:32,720
the beginning of the interview, 
you're not getting a lot of hate

1952
01:30:32,720 --> 01:30:37,520
on TikTok because your vibration
is repelling that in a way that 

1953
01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:40,040
like it can't penetrate your 
vibe. 

1954
01:30:40,320 --> 01:30:42,760
Like even if they did try to say
something like it's not really 

1955
01:30:42,760 --> 01:30:45,320
going to affect you. 
So they'd rather go to someone 

1956
01:30:45,320 --> 01:30:48,840
else's page and be like fat 
whore or you're ugly or, you 

1957
01:30:48,840 --> 01:30:51,840
know, whatever it is to try to 
get a reaction from them. 

1958
01:30:52,360 --> 01:30:55,760
So like they know, and earlier I
made a post because I've just 

1959
01:30:55,920 --> 01:30:58,520
been finding out that a lot of 
people that I thought were my 

1960
01:30:58,520 --> 01:31:02,080
friends don't actually like me 
or they just think that they're 

1961
01:31:02,080 --> 01:31:05,040
going to benefit from me or they
think that they can, you know, 

1962
01:31:05,040 --> 01:31:07,800
get some type of exposure. 
And, you know, as a TikTok 

1963
01:31:07,800 --> 01:31:09,800
creator, I'm sure you've 
experienced this. 

1964
01:31:10,080 --> 01:31:12,440
Do you have people that just 
like, want to be friends to make

1965
01:31:12,440 --> 01:31:15,360
content with you or just like 
want to hang out with you 

1966
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:18,160
because you're cool on the 
Internet or is that something? 

1967
01:31:18,760 --> 01:31:21,200
I think that I deal with this in
like day-to-day life. 

1968
01:31:21,400 --> 01:31:23,760
Like not even more so on the 
Internet. 

1969
01:31:24,120 --> 01:31:29,000
Like I had a certain point where
like one of my friends had to 

1970
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:34,200
point out to me that like I had 
to stop like seeing clients as 

1971
01:31:34,200 --> 01:31:37,960
like friends who I could like 
meet in places and it be like a 

1972
01:31:37,960 --> 01:31:40,560
normal situation because they 
just don't see me like that. 

1973
01:31:41,040 --> 01:31:43,320
And so I have like those issues,
But I think that that more 

1974
01:31:43,320 --> 01:31:46,400
becomes a problem for me in like
day-to-day life where people 

1975
01:31:46,400 --> 01:31:49,040
just get really caught up by 
like the concept of me that I 

1976
01:31:49,040 --> 01:31:51,720
feel like people don't have. 
And I don't think it's their 

1977
01:31:51,720 --> 01:31:54,240
fault. 
I, I think that the deeper I 

1978
01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:57,560
become, there's a certain sense 
of loneliness that comes with it

1979
01:31:57,560 --> 01:32:00,040
because I become a more 
difficult person to, for like 

1980
01:32:00,040 --> 01:32:03,400
the average person to understand
like the things that I say and 

1981
01:32:03,400 --> 01:32:07,280
discuss casually as like base 
beliefs or like core common 

1982
01:32:07,280 --> 01:32:11,000
sense are so far fetched for 
like the average individual. 

1983
01:32:11,320 --> 01:32:16,240
And I realize it really quickly 
when I like date or like go out 

1984
01:32:16,240 --> 01:32:19,000
in public and I'm like having 
conversations with people at 

1985
01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:22,560
like bars while having dinner or
like while I'm traveling or like

1986
01:32:22,560 --> 01:32:27,560
things like that, that just like
my day-to-day, just kind of like

1987
01:32:27,560 --> 01:32:31,720
Common Core thoughts are things 
that I have to explain in depth 

1988
01:32:31,800 --> 01:32:34,920
to others. 
And so I think that I have more 

1989
01:32:34,920 --> 01:32:39,080
of a difficulty with like people
in like day-to-day life becoming

1990
01:32:39,080 --> 01:32:42,560
really attached to like the 
concept of me because I am such 

1991
01:32:42,560 --> 01:32:45,720
a multifaceted individual and I 
have a lot of different hobbies 

1992
01:32:45,720 --> 01:32:48,040
and skills and like 
conversations. 

1993
01:32:48,280 --> 01:32:51,240
And there's not really a topic 
that I can't get involved in. 

1994
01:32:51,240 --> 01:32:54,280
I'm pretty well versed in like 
most pieces of information. 

1995
01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:59,440
And so like, I, I think that I 
have, I think that's why I'm 

1996
01:32:59,440 --> 01:33:03,640
also so authentic online and so 
transparent online, because I 

1997
01:33:03,640 --> 01:33:08,240
don't want to be perceived by, 
you know, the, the external, you

1998
01:33:08,240 --> 01:33:11,480
know, But I think that the more 
in depth I get with myself and 

1999
01:33:11,480 --> 01:33:15,920
my like, own complexities and 
intricacies, the more that like 

2000
01:33:15,920 --> 01:33:17,920
people feel distant to me. 
And I think that that's why a 

2001
01:33:17,920 --> 01:33:22,240
teacher such like a reverence, I
would love nothing more than to 

2002
01:33:22,440 --> 01:33:25,960
give so many people all of the 
information I can to make myself

2003
01:33:25,960 --> 01:33:28,440
more understood as a person. 
You know what I'm saying? 

2004
01:33:28,440 --> 01:33:30,920
I think that that like a lot of 
the reason that I've learned 

2005
01:33:30,920 --> 01:33:34,280
such deep communication skills 
is because I've always just 

2006
01:33:34,280 --> 01:33:36,160
wanted to be able to communicate
myself in the way that I 

2007
01:33:36,160 --> 01:33:40,440
experience the world. 
And the deeper that I get into 

2008
01:33:40,440 --> 01:33:43,640
understanding how I experience 
the world, the more complexity 

2009
01:33:43,640 --> 01:33:47,000
there is to explain. 
And yeah, so I like, I think 

2010
01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:49,360
that it's something that I'm 
like coming around, but I'm 

2011
01:33:49,360 --> 01:33:52,240
starting to find people or I'm 
starting to find not people 

2012
01:33:52,240 --> 01:33:54,640
because I've always had them. 
I guess I'm starting to find 

2013
01:33:54,640 --> 01:33:59,600
enjoyment in the experience of 
people experiencing different 

2014
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:01,720
versions of me and being 
comfortable with that, you know 

2015
01:34:01,720 --> 01:34:03,560
what I'm saying? 
Like somebody experiencing me in

2016
01:34:03,560 --> 01:34:05,440
like full totality and 
understanding that would be 

2017
01:34:05,440 --> 01:34:07,640
really, really difficult. 
And I think that that's why I 

2018
01:34:07,640 --> 01:34:09,920
feel almost more connected to 
people on the Internet than I do

2019
01:34:09,920 --> 01:34:12,480
people in real life, because 
people on the Internet genuinely

2020
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:15,240
listen to my videos. 
I will literally talk for 10 

2021
01:34:15,240 --> 01:34:17,680
minutes straight and they will 
literally go and scroll through 

2022
01:34:17,680 --> 01:34:21,200
nine more of my videos. 
And I feel like they understand 

2023
01:34:21,200 --> 01:34:23,360
me almost better, if that makes 
sense. 

2024
01:34:23,600 --> 01:34:26,760
I feel like I feel more 
disrespected or like used by 

2025
01:34:26,760 --> 01:34:30,760
like people I know than I do by 
strangers on the Internet 

2026
01:34:30,760 --> 01:34:33,820
because I think that the 
strangers and again, quote UN 

2027
01:34:33,820 --> 01:34:35,800
quote strangers because again, I
feel like these people really 

2028
01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:37,360
know me. 
It never freaks me out when 

2029
01:34:37,360 --> 01:34:39,040
people book appointments and 
they're like, I literally feel 

2030
01:34:39,040 --> 01:34:41,840
like I know you as a person. 
And I'm like, I bet you do if 

2031
01:34:41,840 --> 01:34:44,240
you watch my videos as much as 
you say you do, I'm sure of it. 

2032
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:48,280
And I feel like those people 
have more of like a reverence 

2033
01:34:48,280 --> 01:34:51,560
and an honor and a respect for 
like who I am as a person 

2034
01:34:51,600 --> 01:34:54,160
because they've actually taken 
the time to know me in such 

2035
01:34:54,160 --> 01:34:55,920
complexities, because they want 
to know themselves in such 

2036
01:34:55,920 --> 01:34:58,760
complexities. 
And so I don't feel bad about it

2037
01:34:58,760 --> 01:35:01,200
though, because like, I don't 
want to say that like my friends

2038
01:35:01,200 --> 01:35:04,640
were shallow before, but like, 
because my, my friends are all 

2039
01:35:04,640 --> 01:35:06,440
really, really interesting 
people with really, really 

2040
01:35:06,440 --> 01:35:08,520
interesting hobbies. 
However, they weren't people who

2041
01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:10,720
were like super interested in 
like the universe or like the 

2042
01:35:10,720 --> 01:35:12,760
knowledge of life. 
Like in a lot of my friend 

2043
01:35:12,760 --> 01:35:14,840
groups, I've always been like 
the most like educated person as

2044
01:35:14,840 --> 01:35:16,560
far as like college education 
and things like that. 

2045
01:35:16,840 --> 01:35:20,720
So like, I, I don't think that 
it's like something I take super

2046
01:35:20,720 --> 01:35:22,480
personally because that's just 
not who they are. 

2047
01:35:22,520 --> 01:35:24,920
You know what I'm saying? 
They're not really people who 

2048
01:35:24,920 --> 01:35:26,920
like want to know the 
complexities of life. 

2049
01:35:27,240 --> 01:35:30,520
But yeah, I would say I have a 
really different relationship 

2050
01:35:30,520 --> 01:35:35,080
now with people I used to know 
personally than I do with like, 

2051
01:35:35,520 --> 01:35:39,680
kind of like my clientele, dude.
Some of my clients know more 

2052
01:35:39,680 --> 01:35:42,680
about me than some of the people
who I've known for 1415 years, 

2053
01:35:43,120 --> 01:35:44,480
like some of the friends I have 
that are. 

2054
01:35:45,040 --> 01:35:48,440
Like amazing because that 
actually is cycling around. 

2055
01:35:48,440 --> 01:35:50,560
Someone just tagged me and it's 
on my story. 

2056
01:35:51,160 --> 01:35:55,840
You will literally be supported 
by strangers way more than 

2057
01:35:55,840 --> 01:35:58,120
you're going to be supported by 
someone that you know, And I 

2058
01:35:58,440 --> 01:36:02,120
said that also, like as you're 
growing and changing and 

2059
01:36:02,120 --> 01:36:05,360
elevating and they're staying 
the same or they're staying 

2060
01:36:05,360 --> 01:36:08,960
stagnant, you make them 
uncomfortable because you're 

2061
01:36:08,960 --> 01:36:13,040
challenging their status quo, 
challenging, you know, their 

2062
01:36:13,040 --> 01:36:15,240
comfort zone. 
And you know, it's funny because

2063
01:36:15,240 --> 01:36:19,160
I grew up in a really small town
and like grew up around people 

2064
01:36:19,160 --> 01:36:23,560
who really are stuck in some 
deep generational cycles. 

2065
01:36:23,560 --> 01:36:26,360
Like, there was literally kids 
when I was in middle school 

2066
01:36:26,360 --> 01:36:29,120
bringing like, pounds of weed to
school and selling it and stuff.

2067
01:36:29,120 --> 01:36:32,880
Like these kids, like, know 
nothing else but survival. 

2068
01:36:33,440 --> 01:36:38,160
And it's just wild to see those 
cycles continue to play out in 

2069
01:36:38,160 --> 01:36:42,640
their adult life because they 
never chose to, like, get out of

2070
01:36:42,760 --> 01:36:46,840
the hometown or like, get out of
these cycles and spaces. 

2071
01:36:46,840 --> 01:36:50,040
And, you know, so many people 
have wonderful talents, 

2072
01:36:50,040 --> 01:36:53,200
wonderful abilities, but they're
too worried about how someone's 

2073
01:36:53,200 --> 01:36:57,040
going to perceive them, judge 
them, them or whatever it is. 

2074
01:36:57,040 --> 01:37:00,760
And they don't put it out there.
And I think that as we wrap up 

2075
01:37:00,760 --> 01:37:04,080
this episode, I really want to 
know, like, if you had to say 

2076
01:37:04,080 --> 01:37:08,760
one thing to the audience, like,
what would that be like? 

2077
01:37:08,760 --> 01:37:11,040
What would be your final message
for the audience? 

2078
01:37:11,040 --> 01:37:14,120
Because we have literally had 
the best conversation. 

2079
01:37:14,120 --> 01:37:15,440
Like, you're going to have to 
come back. 

2080
01:37:15,440 --> 01:37:17,800
This is literally probably one 
of the longest interviews I've 

2081
01:37:17,800 --> 01:37:20,760
ever done. 
Yeah, no problem. 

2082
01:37:20,760 --> 01:37:22,560
I really appreciate it's been a 
great interview. 

2083
01:37:23,280 --> 01:37:25,120
The one thing that I would 
probably give the one piece of 

2084
01:37:25,120 --> 01:37:28,080
advice to any person is to never
live by the standard that anyone

2085
01:37:28,080 --> 01:37:31,120
else has you to really evaluate 
your own personal standards of 

2086
01:37:31,120 --> 01:37:35,000
self and who you want to become 
and lay down any concept of 

2087
01:37:35,000 --> 01:37:37,840
being a good person or bad 
person or living up to any other

2088
01:37:37,840 --> 01:37:40,880
person's expectations. 
But really ask yourself who you 

2089
01:37:40,880 --> 01:37:44,480
want to be on an energetic 
scale, on a physical scale, on a

2090
01:37:44,480 --> 01:37:46,560
mental scale. 
Ask yourself who you're becoming

2091
01:37:46,840 --> 01:37:50,360
and begin to become you. 
Stop trying to be a good person.

2092
01:37:50,360 --> 01:37:53,720
Stop trying to be a Good Wife or
a good daughter or a good mom 

2093
01:37:54,000 --> 01:37:56,960
and start trying to be the best 
version of you for you, no 

2094
01:37:56,960 --> 01:37:59,560
matter what that means. 
And I promise you that you will 

2095
01:37:59,600 --> 01:38:03,200
take 1000 times better care of 
every parent and every every 

2096
01:38:03,200 --> 01:38:07,280
spouse and every child and every
person around you because you're

2097
01:38:07,280 --> 01:38:09,640
coming from a place of genuine 
love for the self. 

2098
01:38:10,360 --> 01:38:12,160
And that's where genuine love 
sources from. 

2099
01:38:12,680 --> 01:38:14,160
So that would be my advice for 
every person. 

2100
01:38:14,720 --> 01:38:17,120
I love it so much. 
Mariah, thank you so much for 

2101
01:38:17,120 --> 01:38:19,800
sharing your energy with us and 
you all. 

2102
01:38:20,040 --> 01:38:22,600
In the description, you'll be 
able to find all of her social 

2103
01:38:22,600 --> 01:38:24,680
medias. 
If you want to follow, reach out

2104
01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:27,520
or get a reading. 
Tap in with Mariah. 

2105
01:38:27,520 --> 01:38:29,360
And thank you so much for coming
on. 

2106
01:38:29,680 --> 01:38:32,480
We will see you all next time in
Candy Land. 

2107
01:38:33,200 --> 01:38:36,720
Welcome to Candyland, spicy and 
sweet. 

2108
01:38:36,760 --> 01:38:40,960
You're in for a tree, your 
wildest trees. 

2109
01:38:41,080 --> 01:38:45,800
Got gun drops of knowledge and 
liquors too Plum? 

2110
01:38:45,880 --> 01:38:50,600
Fancy picking for me and you, 
Candyland? 

2111
01:38:50,600 --> 01:38:56,120
Candyland, a mystical play where
your shadows will meet your life

2112
01:38:56,200 --> 01:38:59,640
face to face. 
Let's your imagination run wild 

2113
01:38:59,640 --> 01:39:04,840
as stories unfold. 
May you release anything that 

2114
01:39:04,840 --> 01:39:08,160
has a whole. 
Welcome to Candyland. 

2115
01:39:08,160 --> 01:39:11,960
Spicy and sweet, you're in for a
tree. 

2116
01:39:11,960 --> 01:39:18,160
You're wildest streams, Gumtrops
of knowledge and liquorice too. 

2117
01:39:18,560 --> 01:39:22,040
Plums plenty picking for me and 
you. 

2118
01:39:23,640 --> 01:39:27,160
Thank you for joining us. 
May you find solace and grace. 

2119
01:39:27,440 --> 01:39:30,200
Welcome to Candyland Boom. 
Boom boom.