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Author, Philip, Carr gomm. 
Once wrote the songs of our 

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ancestors are, also the songs of
our children family ancestry, 

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whether it is motivated by 
curiosity or striving to find 

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connection has created a 
multi-billion dollar industry as

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more than 26 million people have
taken. 

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An ancestry tests in the last 10
years, it's not difficult to see

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why we are rooted in our 
ancestors, including their 

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physical and genetic traits. 
Yes. 

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But even more. 
So their lives and stories in 

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mod Newton's latest 
autobiographical book. 

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Ancestor trouble Newton, 
observes the stories, we tell 

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ourselves about our ancestors 
have the power to shape us. 

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It is Further interesting to 
note how our family lineages are

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often called our family trees. 
But how did this tradition of 

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looking at our family lineage, 
as a tree begin? 

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And what happens if we don't 
find the answers that we seek 

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were guarding those trees? 
Or even find things that disrupt

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our understanding, of our 
families and ourselves, In 

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today's episode, we will examine
the origins of the concept of 

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family trees and speak with 
award-winning singer song, 

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writer, and educator neshama 
carlebach about her Artistry 

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Inspirations and the journey of 
understanding that she has taken

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as a direct result of her own 
family tree as the daughter of 

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the renowned and musical Rabbi 
Shlomo carlebach. 

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I am Dori Robinson. 
And this is tree speech. 

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A cast where we strive to listen
to the forest through the trees.

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This week's episode was written 
and recorded in Massachusetts on

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the native lands of the wabanaki
Confederacy, Penacook 

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massachusett and Pawtucket 
people and in New York and the 

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land of the Lenape tribes. 
Tree speech is co-written and 

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produced by Jonathan's out, Nur 
with a light theater, Guild Some

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people believe that the visual 
depiction of family trees with 

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family members on various 
branches and leaves began in 

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medieval art with the tree of 
Jesse and artistic depiction of 

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the ancestors of Jesus, of 
Nazareth. 

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The text on the image includes a
passage from Isaiah, but a shoot

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shell grow out of the stump of 
Jesse, a spring shall Sprout 

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from his stock. 
Jesse father of King David was 

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depicted as the Patrol route 
from which the ancestors of 

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Jesus. 
Sprung in the later medieval 

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period, the nobility adopted the
tree as a symbol of lineage and 

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by the 18th century, family 
pedigrees were commonly referred

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to as family trees, although the
foliage had disappeared and The 

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Roots appeared at the top rather
than the base of the diagrams. 

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Genealogy comes from the ancient
Greek, gonna Loggia, meaning the

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making of a pedigree the and is 
the study of families family, 

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history and the tracing of their
lineages using among other 

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things. 
Oral interviews, historical 

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records and genetic analysis. 
People strive to demonstrate 

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kinship and pedigrees for many. 
The goal is to trace the 

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descendants of one person for 
others, it's to learn all sorts 

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of information. 
Genetic traits, DNA legal next 

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of kin or preserving family, 
traditions even More people 

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often want to figure out where 
the story of their family fits 

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in the larger story of the 
world, today's guest has had to 

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do this examination and personal
ways, but also on the public 

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stage, there are a few rare, 
wonderful things that came out 

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of the first year of the 
pandemic and for me meeting the 

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shama was one of them. 
An individual with an abundance 

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of generosity. 
She participated in over 300, 

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Zoom events from fundraisers to 
galavan's and life cycle moments

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all to provide Solace comfort 
and uplifting music to 

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communities around the world. 
During a time when we all needed

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it. 
So very much. 

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I met her working on one of 
these events and immediately 

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felt a sense of kinship Neshama 
began performing from a young 

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age, having come from a musical,
Jewish Orthodox family later. 

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She sees practicing as an 
orthodox Jew. 

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Instead sparking public 
conversations about the place of

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women in Judaism, even more. 
She shifted from performing her 

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father's music to writing her 
own. 

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All the while collaborating with
performers of various faiths and

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music Styles neshama, now has 
her own presence in the Jewish 

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and Musical. 
Old having sold over 1 million 

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records. 
Making her one of today's best 

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selling Jewish artists in the 
world neshama and I spoke about 

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how her unique family tree has 
shaped her life. 

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Let's listen. 
Michela, it's so good to speak 

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with you. 
I was just saying to before 

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every time we speak, even if 
it's just for a few minutes, it 

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feels so wonderful and 
nourishing. 

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So thank you for making the time
today. 

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It's my honor, truly, thanks for
inviting me to be part of this 

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odd. 
This is gorgeous. 

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The theme of this episode is 
Family Tree, and I could think 

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of no better person to speak 
with the new because you have 

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such a rich story. 
Re and you come from a musical 

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family, your father, being the 
late Shlomo carlebach known 

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throughout the world as the 
singing Rabbi, what were some of

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your earlier memories of music 
in your household. 

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So, I want you to also know that
my mother side is also a very 

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musical family. 
My grandfather was a Cantor and 

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he hits a whole string of 
amazing stories about how my 

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grandparents escaped from Russia
and the 1900. 

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It's but one of the ways in 
which he escaped very bad fate, 

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as a Jew, was to sing. 
And from when he was 13 years 

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old, they would put him up on 
the table and he would sing my 

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grandfather died. 
I think he was 93 or 94 and he 

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sang all the time. 
He had an incredible Rich voice 

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and my one of my mom had four 
older brothers. 

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One of them played clarinet in 
an orchestra like in a very big 

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Orchestra and another one of my 
uncle's name was Sir Cyril 

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Irving. 
Glick. 

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He was a composer who won like 
incredible. 

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We grew up in Canada and he won 
the governor general award for 

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his compositions. 
But I definitely feel like my 

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music comes from both sides of 
my lineage from all sides of my 

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tree, and it's definitely very 
much alive in my children. 

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Both of my children are 
prodigious musicians and I feel,

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I feel very much like it's the, 
it's the breath. 

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It's the air. 
In my life, it's not that. 

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Oh, I had music in my home, as I
think my home was music growing 

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up. 
It was filling every space. 

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Every corner it is. 
It is the fabric of our breath. 

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It's who we are. 
That's just so beautiful. 

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What a beautiful image and it 
seems so true of you. 

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Thank you. 
I just came to me must be 

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because of you I was going to 
say it's because you're a 

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songwriter, that's something I 
think about especially at Will 

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speak as a Jew. 
Is that the people who sang are 

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also very much keepers of 
stories, your descendant of a 

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cancer. 
I mean you. 

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So you have that extra layer of 
being the keeper of stories. 

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Thank you. 
I love that. 

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My father used to say, as long 
as we tell stories, we never get

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old. 
Mmm, because our stories are 

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what gives us life and I think 
that's actually really true. 

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And, you know, it is as we're 
thinking about the analogy or 

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The connection to the Earth and 
to trees. 

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It's true. 
Because it's our truth, it's Our

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Roots, it's where we've come 
from. 

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And when we can plug into it, it
always gives us life. 

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You know, when we're proud of 
our Journeys, whether the 

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stories are painful or 
extravagantly. 

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Gorgeous. 
We have so many stories, each of

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us so many Journeys. 
So many intersecting branches. 

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And when we can connect to 
ourselves, we do have life. 

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I believe it. 
I absolutely believe that 

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stories and music are a life 
force for us. 

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Yeah, keep us growing. 
Yes, I wanted to share this with

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you. 
I'm just going to, you know, you

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didn't ask me, but about this. 
But when we first started to 

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speak about your love of trees 
and this podcast, I wanted to 

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share this little word of Torah 
with you. 

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You know, from my jewy self 
because, you know, I can't help 

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it. 
My father used to say you have 

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to have a cash Torah on you, 
like It's like going out with a 

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five, you know, like you just 
just in case you need to pick 

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something up, you just have like
something in your pocket. 

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So there are few Torres that 
I've held my whole life, kind of

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like the cash Torah in my pocket
in case of need. 

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So this is one of those tours. 
That's really kept me going. 

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The amazing thing about to be 
Schwarz which is the anniversary

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of the tree that the birthday of
the earth is that in most places

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in the world, the trees are dead
in most places, when that hot 

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that I'm of year when it comes 
around, there are no leaves, 

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it's cold outside. 
The the tree. 

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Look sad, you know? 
And then we learn that. 

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That is the trees birthday. 
So why is that? 

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Why is it that the birthday is 
celebrated not in the depth of 

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Summer? 
Why is the tree celebrated in 

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time where that's cold? 
So, the Kabbalah says, which is 

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actually very interesting and I 
think there's probably 

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dissertations to be written 
about this concept actually. 

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That onto bishvat on that day. 
Something extraordinary happens 

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from the inside of the earth and
the sap from the bottom, and the

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inside of the earth comes up 
through the ground to nourish 

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the tree. 
And so the tree may have been 

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sad at the tree may have 
thought. 

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Everything is over. 
I'm done now. 

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There's nothing left for me. 
And then suddenly on that day of

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the birthday, the sap starts to 
come in to see pin from the 

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inside and it's a secret. 
It's not not for the world to 

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see, it's not big branches, it's
not cherry blossoms, it's not 

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flowers, it's from the inside of
the world, to the inside of the 

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tree and that's that's the 
birthday. 

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Because I think we sometimes put
so much emphasis on what happens

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on the outside and the external 
affirmation what everyone 

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reflects back to us about 
something meaningful. 

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And we learn, it's like, it's 
not about anything else, it's 

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not about what happens on the 
outside. 

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It really is about the story. 
It's about the roots, it's about

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the sap. 
It's about what you're receiving

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on the inside that nourishes. 
You, and I love that. 

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I love thinking that. 
That's, that's the anniversary 

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to acknowledge and celebrate. 
Eight. 

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And so I give that, that little 
thought that Holy, Holy 

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intention over to you, we have 
to learn from the trees on every

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single level but that that 
always that sustains me that 

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thought. 
That is such a beautiful thought

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and it's so true. 
Even while dormant that there's 

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nourishment happening, That You 
Don't See on the outside, easy 

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on the inside, want to treasure,
yes, but you have to receive it 

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right? 
The job to receive if you don't 

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receive it, you know, you don't 
receive but it's always coming 

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up for you and I really believe.
Also, it's in those moments 

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where it's the most dark or it's
the most cold, that's like when 

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we're at the end when we think, 
you know, no one remembers us 

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that's when the love comes in. 
If you receive You think we all 

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have a lot to learn from that 
thought, actually, well and you 

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hit on a good point that it 
comes from the roots, we think 

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of trees in their biggest Bloom 
and of course I'm in New 

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England. 
So we often think of trees in 

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the fall. 
So we're always looking at sort 

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of the top and the extension, 
but not the roots. 

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Yes. 
Yeah. 

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So how did you start to receive 
neshama? 

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How did you start to what when 
you are receiving this music? 

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What made you take it from the 
roots and branches? 

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Branch out with it in your own 
way as your own music maker. 

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So only a few years ago, did I, 
did I begin to receive from the 

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inside? 
Took me a really long time. 

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I was in a very sad place and 
could I have received earlier 

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possibly, but I wasn't, I wasn't
open to it, for whatever reason,

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everyone has their journey. 
I had to like really go through 

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incredible loss and pain for my 
spirit to open and to see my own

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worth and to begin to sing from 
a place that was really me as 

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opposed to just trying to 
reflect the outside. 

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I think I spent too much of my 
life trying to emulate my 

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father. 
Resuscitate, my father, you 

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know, bring him back, honor him.
I don't know why I had that 

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00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:55,900
compulsion actually, but I think
it if I had a debt to him, I 

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think I've paid it and I'm 
really, I'm very, very grateful 

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that I was able to to wake up 
one day and to decide that I 

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00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:06,200
wanted to, you know I kind of 
make the joke like to leave my 

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parents basement. 
And move out on my own. 

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And when that happened, when I 
was, I think I was able to be a 

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human, and a mom and a partner 
and an artist but that only just

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happened just a few years ago. 
So I'm all brand new, you're a 

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sapling, I'm selling, like 
you're still the sapling, I love

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that as a fellow rabbi's 
daughter. 

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I do think that we see both in 
the household and in our 

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spirituality. 
Tea and in our religious 

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community how how it is done by 
someone else leading and then to

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it takes a lot of Bravery to go 
on your own, and make it your 

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own, and to find your own voice.
And to keep growing from that 

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agreed. 
Agreed. 

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We're all we got very caught up 
in what we think people want to 

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hear or like to hear or what? 
We wish we sounded like or look 

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like. 
And I think it takes a 

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tremendous Amount of inner work 
and perseverance to push all of 

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that aside. 
And I think that's my, I mean, 

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besides my children, my greatest
accomplishment has been my 

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ability to to surpass my own 
expectation of myself and and 

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wake up to who I was meant to be
before. 

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I was 90, you have stated that 
you believe that music is our 

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connection to the Divine, every 
blade of grass, Every bit of 

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creation had its own Melody. 
Every part of creation was a 

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symphony that was how they spoke
to one another. 

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And on this podcast, we do a lot
of examining. 

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How trees communicate with each 
other and with us. 

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Can you expand on this melody of
Nature and can we hear This 

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Magnificent symphony today? 
I hope we can. 

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I hope I think that the greatest
sadness is that we Not attuned 

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to the songs of nature, because 
if every blade of grass is 

256
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,300
singing, then how much is every 
human being singing? 

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We Miss, we miss it so much, but
I think that if you go outside 

258
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and you close your eyes, you can
absolutely choose to tune in and

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00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,600
you'll feel it. 
It might take some time, it's 

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not immediate but it is there. 
I promise that's also a cupola 

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that that amazing concept that 
when God created the world, 

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World, he created, he, she 
created the world with some and 

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00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,500
I definitely feel it when I go 
outside. 

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Sometimes I just, if I'm having 
a hard day, I just have to walk 

265
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outside and breathe. 
And I don't know if that happens

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for you. 
It's really, really special and 

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00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,200
precious. 
So I think I think people people

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can do anything if they choose, 
but you have to be open to it. 

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00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,900
You have to decide, you have to 
receive exactly. 

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00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:06,200
I think that there's a world of 
to-do lists out there that I am.

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He was so being outside can 
really make the difference, 

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really I'm going inward. 
So let's talk more about your 

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journey, family trees are 
complicated and you had to meet 

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00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:24,099
these challenges in a public way
with such Grace, and compassion 

275
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:27,800
and integrity. 
How were you able to hold such 

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00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,500
space for your own? 
Needs your own faith and the 

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00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:36,800
legacy of your family. 
So my father Rabbi Shlomo was is

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is an extraordinary human being 
who had a whole lot of stuff, 

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gorgeous stuff and painful 
stuff. 

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00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:51,800
And when he passed away in 1994,
I took over his work in order to

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00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,400
support my family because if I 
had not gone to work, we would 

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00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,200
not have had our home. 
It's very recently that I've 

283
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,200
started to be honest about that 
when people would ask me why are

284
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,400
you singing I tell folks to 
remember my father and I love 

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00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,800
him so much and I want to keep 
him here. 

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00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,100
And that was definitely true. 
I think Tim also to my 

287
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:16,100
detriment, but we were 
impoverished and had I not gone 

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00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:20,000
to work, we would not have have 
survived my family, we would 

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00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:25,200
have lost our home. 
And so I went to work to sustain

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00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:30,000
him and hold him, singing his 
music all over the world and 

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00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:35,800
several years after he passed 
several women wrote an article 

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00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:40,200
in Lilith magazine Dean talking 
about how he had abused them 

293
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,200
sexually in his life. 
And when that happened, when 

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00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,800
that came out, I was Orthodox at
the time. 

295
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,800
And so when I say I was singing 
my father's music and I speak 

296
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,400
about the community of my 
childhood. 

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00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,800
There is, it's very complicated.
So, when the allegations came 

298
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,500
out, it was 1998, everyone 
around me, declared that these 

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00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:05,900
women were Liars, they're lying,
and they're only doing so now 

300
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:10,100
for their own and I don't know 
what what anyone gains speaking 

301
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:14,000
about pain, and they're liars. 
And you're my father was 

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00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,700
perfect. 
He was, he was the Messiah. 

303
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:24,300
And so God forbid, and at that 
time, I was very Orthodox, and I

304
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,700
had accepted my space. 
As an orthodox woman, is being 

305
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,200
less than I am. 
I'm not strong because I'm a 

306
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:34,500
woman, I'm deficient because I'm
a woman. 

307
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:39,300
I said, Shalom Sonny shot. 
There was a there was a blessing

308
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,800
that you say, thank you God, you
know, sorry I didn't say it. 

309
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,900
I acknowledge that men around me
would say she lost on E Esha. 

310
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:48,400
The thank you. 
God, for not making me a woman 

311
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,500
and that didn't offend me, I'm 
offended. 

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00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:55,800
Now, as I look back that I was 
not offended but that was my 

313
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,100
world. 
Like God, you made me as you 

314
00:19:58,108 --> 00:20:01,400
made me and there's no choice in
that and then everyone around me

315
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,500
was like, well, you're too bad. 
Someone didn't have a son 

316
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:07,700
because you Could have been 
something and I apologized for 

317
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:11,300
my existence all the time. 
And I was a woman who had been 

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00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:16,900
hurt as well and no one believed
me and I didn't know how to hold

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00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:20,100
my own pain. 
So when the people in my life 

320
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:25,100
told me that the women who came 
forward to reveal their stories 

321
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,500
about my father and they were 
Liars, I believe them. 

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00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:33,000
And I've had the opportunity 
publicly to apologize for that 

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00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,500
because I'm ashamed that I 
wasn't stronger at the time, 

324
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:43,400
because I would have I have had 
a very different reaction then I

325
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:49,200
had, if I had been stronger and 
I was not so we go through our 

326
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:54,100
lives. 1998, he's not here. 
There's no trial, there's no, 

327
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:57,700
you know, I mean, there's, he's 
not here anymore to present any 

328
00:20:57,700 --> 00:21:03,400
kind of story or two to receive 
whatever Justice he would have 

329
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,400
received. 
And I, as his daughter continue 

330
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,800
to hold this everyday, people 
would talk to me about. 

331
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,900
It asked me about it and I would
never comment in 2017 and here I

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00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:18,200
am going through my whole cycle 
of life and, you know, my my 

333
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,800
seasonal change, my shedding of 
Leaves and fall. 

334
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,000
I'm taking this analogy way too 
far for you. 

335
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:30,200
During when I got divorced in 
2012, I stopped being Orthodox. 

336
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:36,300
So when I stopping Orthodox, I 
began to spend time with, with 

337
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,900
Jews who were not Orthodox, 
which meant that women could 

338
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:42,900
sing before 2012. 
Before I decided I wanted a 

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00:21:42,908 --> 00:21:47,500
different kind of community. 
I never knew any women who sang?

340
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:52,000
I didn't have any sisters who 
did this, I was The only woman 

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00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,200
in a room full of very 
aggressive men, that was how I 

342
00:21:55,200 --> 00:22:00,500
felt pretty much all the time in
my career, having to navigate 

343
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:05,000
having to you know, bring my 
father in almost like a like an 

344
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,100
indivisible bodyguard. 
You know, my father said, my 

345
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:13,400
father said, you know, because I
couldn't I knew I wasn't enough 

346
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:17,700
on my own but when I met women 
who could sing I began to 

347
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:21,900
appreciate the value of being a 
woman, It took me a really long 

348
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:26,100
time and when I began to 
appreciate who I was and 

349
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:31,300
appreciate them, my world 
shifted completely, and my 

350
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:34,400
relationship with God shifted, 
my relationship with my with my 

351
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:40,200
Artistry shifted and then when 
the me to moment began in 2017. 

352
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:45,500
And the allegations against my 
father resurfaced, I had a very 

353
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,600
different reaction. 
And I think it was mostly 

354
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,300
because of the inner work that I
had done and because I was no 

355
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:55,500
longer afraid to see that women 
don't lie. 

356
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,200
What does it mean to receive? 
Someone's truth? 

357
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,600
You know, it means. 
You have to see things that 

358
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,700
hurt. 
You means that you need to, you 

359
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:08,900
need to breathe through your own
reaction, to their truth, to 

360
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:12,300
hold them to be present for them
and hearing that. 

361
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,700
My father had done these things.
Before I couldn't. 

362
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:16,700
I couldn't hear it at all. 
It was. 

363
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,500
And it was About their pain was 
about mine. 

364
00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:23,100
You know when you're when you're
in pain is really hard to hold 

365
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:28,400
other people and that was me for
a very long time and when the 

366
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,600
allegations resurfaced it was 
like it was a massive Epiphany 

367
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,500
for me. 
My I just saw my whole life, I 

368
00:23:35,508 --> 00:23:38,000
saw my whole world, I saw my 
father, I saw myself. 

369
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,300
And I heard I heard them. 
I knew it was true. 

370
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:59,400
I knew it. 
that must have been very 

371
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:06,100
difficult to acknowledge and sit
in and hold space for What did 

372
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:10,500
you do next? 
I decided I wanted to dedicate 

373
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:14,000
my life to hearing and to being 
an activist. 

374
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:20,100
So I began to respond. 
I began to write and wrote 

375
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:26,000
several articles speaking, very 
specifically to how it felt to 

376
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,900
hold the truth about someone. 
I love so much and didn't love 

377
00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:34,500
very much at the same time once 
I started to have to hold all of

378
00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:40,000
that and And even as I was going
through, all of these revelatory

379
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:45,700
moments, that did not stop, my 
family, my music, my father, and

380
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:48,500
me from being canceled. 
And I think, actually, I'm still

381
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:49,900
canceled. 
I don't, I don't know. 

382
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:53,000
What am I supposed to feel 
differently to be uncanceled 

383
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:54,400
versus canceled? 
I don't know. 

384
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,600
It's hard to say, sometimes I 
think I'm no longer canceled, 

385
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,500
but I didn't really understand 
what that was in the first 

386
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,100
place. 
I really, I have I have respect 

387
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:05,900
for the concept of cancellation 
because it would Be really 

388
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:10,100
lovely to go back in time and, 
you know, and just fast-forward 

389
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:14,500
and Rewind as needed, and take 
out the sad parts and I, you 

390
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:16,700
know, I grew up in a Land of 
Fairytales. 

391
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,900
So I would love to have that 
mechanism. 

392
00:25:19,900 --> 00:25:23,000
That would allow me to cancel 
the things that are hard. 

393
00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:26,600
But even taking my family aside,
and my own cancellation, which 

394
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:30,800
has many ramifications on my 
spirit, I really think that 

395
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,600
holding all of the parts of our 
Journeys. 

396
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,400
I really believe that that's 
what makes us the best us that 

397
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,900
we can be the best version of 
ourselves. 

398
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:47,200
And if I could go back and 
uncanceled myself and change the

399
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,100
pain, that brought me here, I 
don't think I would do it. 

400
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:52,800
I think I would rather. 
I would rather have lived 

401
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,400
through what I've lived through 
and be strong. 

402
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:58,400
I would rather have had my 
journey and burned up 

403
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,200
completely, and found something 
new then stayed where I was. 

404
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:06,900
Was without the pain and that's 
a very large thing to say and I 

405
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,600
realized that that's not for 
everyone. 

406
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,800
There were a lot of people who 
need to avoid and I understand 

407
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:17,000
why I respect the fear of pain, 
the fear of Truth. 

408
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:21,600
And I really feel very proud of 
myself that I was able to to 

409
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,900
just hold it to just stand in it
and be in it. 

410
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,400
And so when you asked me about 
my journey and about my 

411
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,000
complicated family tree, I guess
everyone knows why you're 

412
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,500
asking. 
Asking me that question. 

413
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:41,100
There's a why according to other
people and why your own Journey 

414
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,900
throughout. 
It, I mean, being in the family 

415
00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:46,800
is so different from reading 
about the family. 

416
00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:51,400
Again I just have to double down
with my appreciation of you. 

417
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,400
You are Carl buff, your name is 
Carl back as well but you are 

418
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,000
you who you are, how you've 
grown. 

419
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,500
I'm sure you've heard this in, 
some way, shape, or form, but 

420
00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,600
it's something teachers, say all
the time that the flower isn't 

421
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,000
growing You don't yell at the 
flower. 

422
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,300
You examine the environment and 
say it's a getting too much, 

423
00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:12,600
sun, too much shade, not the 
right soil. 

424
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,600
What's you did that? 
Work of looking at your 

425
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,900
environment and saying how am I 
going to shift this? 

426
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:21,800
And you could have absolutely 
left Judaism. 

427
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:26,100
All together you could have, you
could have shut it all down and 

428
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:29,600
he sat in the discomfort. 
That is something that we're 

429
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,200
struggling with as a nation to 
sit with the discomfort as we 

430
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,800
speak about all sorts of things.
The I'm in crisis, race isn't 

431
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:42,200
like how we sit in discomfort 
and that's, that's your journey,

432
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,100
that's specific to you. 
Well, I think it's all of our 

433
00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:49,000
Journeys in one way or another 
and by the way. 

434
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:52,100
So much of, you know, the 
systemic issues that we are 

435
00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:56,600
facing now, come from an 
avoidance of this issue, you 

436
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,900
spoke before about the internal 
work, you did along during your 

437
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:03,100
journey and it makes me think of
your story about the tree 

438
00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:07,200
receiving sap receiving. 
There's there's been a lot of 

439
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,700
internal work done. 
You have so much richness from 

440
00:28:10,700 --> 00:28:14,300
your whole family and from 
whatever family means to you. 

441
00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:17,300
Now how does that continue to 
influence you? 

442
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,600
I think it influences me just 
that I feel open and grateful 

443
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,800
right now. 
I hope that there will be more 

444
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:28,200
recording ahead. 
The pandemic began just as my 

445
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:33,000
10th recording dropped and so we
were about to tour our recording

446
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:37,800
called believe which was huge. 
A huge, amazing accomplishment 

447
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,300
was my first recording of 
original music and I had taken 

448
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:45,200
so much time to really figure 
out what I wanted to say and I 

449
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:50,500
feel like I haven't yet begun to
offer those those songs to the 

450
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:54,000
world, because everything 
changed everything stopped. 

451
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:57,700
I'm working on my Memoir. 
I just signed with an agent 

452
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,500
which is very exciting. 
Congratulations, thank you. 

453
00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:04,600
I feel very blessed and grateful
that I'm able to share my story 

454
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:08,500
and I hope that when the Because
released that my story helps to 

455
00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:13,400
empower and Inspire women, 
especially as we continue on 

456
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,800
this on this road, you know, 
there's a tremendous work ahead 

457
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,900
and we need to empower and love 
each other. 

458
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,500
And so, I hope very much that my
story will be a part of the 

459
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:27,700
fabric of that work and that's 
where my heart is these days. 

460
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:32,300
I think your Memoir will 
probably be incredibly impactful

461
00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:34,200
and I'm looking forward to 
reading it. 

462
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,900
Thank you, chef. 
ER so much wisdom and just in a 

463
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:39,900
few minutes sitting with you. 
I can't even imagine a whole 

464
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:45,500
book so if that's what's next 
for you story telling lies, is 

465
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:48,400
there anything musically that 
you haven't yet done? 

466
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,800
Because I know you collaborate 
with people of all different 

467
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,600
backgrounds, you found your own 
voice, you have this song called

468
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,200
believe of all things. 
What's next for you? 

469
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,000
Musically? 
I don't know. 

470
00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:03,900
That's my truth, I don't know. 
And when you say I found my own 

471
00:30:03,900 --> 00:30:05,500
voice, that's it's very 
gracious. 

472
00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:09,200
I don't know that I have, I'm 
still, I'm very much a work in 

473
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,600
progress. 
I'm very much searching and 

474
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:15,600
seeking, I'll tell you what I'm 
very, very inspired by though. 

475
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,200
At this particular moment, the 
musical Hades town. 

476
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:22,400
Have you seen it? 
I have seen it and I absolutely 

477
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,500
love it. 
I am obsessed, I'm obsessed. 

478
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:29,300
I listen to it all the time, and
I'm gaining such depth and 

479
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:32,300
Truth. 
From the story from the 

480
00:30:32,300 --> 00:30:36,500
brilliant composition and I 
don't know yet what's next for 

481
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:41,900
me but I am feeling inspiration 
from this body of work and I 

482
00:30:41,908 --> 00:30:45,900
feel like if there's going to be
a portal to just to knowledge. 

483
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:48,500
And next steps I feel like it's 
going to come to me while I'm 

484
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:52,400
listening to these songs. 
It's just it's going to happen. 

485
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,800
I don't know what it is. 
No no pressure to the musical. 

486
00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:59,400
A musical that really really 
does shed light on people's 

487
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:06,300
flaws, what people's needs and 
their hurt and with with a 

488
00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:09,800
fusion of jazz and folk all 
these elements. 

489
00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:11,900
Yes. 
Well to tell you in particular, 

490
00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:15,600
like the part that has just like
shattered me and opened me. 

491
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,300
And then shattered me again, 
when you're talking about the 

492
00:31:18,300 --> 00:31:22,200
road to Hell, nothing works out.
Sometimes things don't work out 

493
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,800
at all and you still you sing 
the songs, still you sing. 

494
00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:30,400
Anyway, still you try to bring 
the spring with your song 

495
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,700
because you can't control the 
wind. 

496
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:36,400
You can only pray that if you 
are touched by Holiness and 

497
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,600
divine energy that someone out 
there will hear you and that 

498
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,700
your voice will bring some kind 
of healing and even if it 

499
00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:45,500
doesn't, you're going to keep 
singing. 

500
00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:47,500
Anyway, we're going to keep 
trying anyway, we're going to 

501
00:31:47,508 --> 00:31:51,200
raise a glass to those who fall 
apart and then stand up again. 

502
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,500
I really encourage all of you 
who haven't seen it. 

503
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:58,100
Just at least Out the music. 
It's just Divine. 

504
00:31:58,300 --> 00:31:59,900
It's really. 
It's holy stuff. 

505
00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:02,900
Holy holy. 
Neshama. 

506
00:32:02,900 --> 00:32:05,300
Thank you so much for joining us
today. 

507
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:09,100
And I know I keep saying this, 
but your wisdom is such a 

508
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:11,900
treasure. 
I so appreciate your time and 

509
00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:16,200
everything that you share from 
Torah to music to just the 

510
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,400
humility. 
As a person to say, I don't 

511
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,000
know. 
I'm a work in progress. 

512
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,300
It's so special to have you. 
Thank you love. 

513
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,700
Thank you, Jonathan. 
Thank you. 

514
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,600
This was a delight. 
Thank you so much. 

515
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:41,100
There is a Chinese proverb 
stating that to forget. 

516
00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:46,100
One's ancestors, is to be a 
brook without a source a tree 

517
00:32:46,100 --> 00:32:49,900
without a root. 
Remembering is valuable yes. 

518
00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:53,300
But what one does with that 
information is even more 

519
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:56,500
important. 
In fact, the metaphor of the 

520
00:32:56,500 --> 00:33:00,100
family tree may need to be 
examined as well as we 

521
00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:03,400
acknowledge the widening 
definition of what constitutes a

522
00:33:03,408 --> 00:33:06,300
family. 
An example of this work includes

523
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:09,300
Ohio historical. 
Three connections 2021 Workshop 

524
00:33:09,300 --> 00:33:13,200
series, which focused on 
researching single ancestors to 

525
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,400
create a more inclusive family 
tree and exploring methods for 

526
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:21,000
researching the lineage of 
non-dominant groups, including 

527
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,600
women, people of color, and 
lgbtq plus people likewise the 

528
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,500
educational Community has begun 
to focus on how to teach 

529
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:34,200
inclusive genealogy and family 
history, to students teachers 

530
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,900
are rethinking. 
Family, tree, assignments, that 

531
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,200
That don't include non nuclear 
family structures. 

532
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:43,700
Don't consider access to 
information or are not 

533
00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:47,300
trauma-informed. 
What makes real family is 

534
00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:51,700
different for all of us. 
If our family and even more our 

535
00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:56,300
ancestors and our family tree is
meant to guide and support us, 

536
00:33:56,700 --> 00:33:59,900
then, I can look around my 
community and see far more 

537
00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:04,100
familial relationships and 
branches in my world. 

538
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:08,100
This is all reflected in nature 
as well. 

539
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:12,300
Professor of forest ecology. 
Dr. Suzanne simmered has written

540
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:16,400
extensively on mycorrhizal fungi
or networks the symbiotic 

541
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,199
association between fungus and 
plant which links the roots of 

542
00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:24,300
trees and forests. 
Her research has demonstrated 

543
00:34:24,300 --> 00:34:28,400
that the oldest trees and 
forests connect to all others. 

544
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:34,400
These Hub, trees are also known 
as mother trees, and they share 

545
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,300
carbon and nitrogen. 
Arjun with the hundreds of young

546
00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:40,900
seedlings around them. 
What if we took a cue from 

547
00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:44,300
nature and instead of only 
considering a family tree 

548
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:50,000
invited in a family forest, how 
am I shifting our perspective on

549
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,300
family structures shift, our 
paths, where might we put our 

550
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:59,000
energy and resources? 
I often return to my family home

551
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,800
during the winter holidays. 
There's a small table filled 

552
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,900
with photos of the family. 
Each frame specially chosen to 

553
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:10,200
proudly hold the precious, 
snapshot memory. 

554
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,200
I've taken to scrutinizing each 
image, perhaps looking for 

555
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:18,700
answers or guidance. 
Do I walk in their footsteps? 

556
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,600
Am I accomplishing as much or 
furthering? 

557
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,800
Their causes do? 
I make them proud. 

558
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:29,200
Perhaps I'm asking The wrong 
questions instead of asking how 

559
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:33,800
my family lineage should guide. 
My next steps, I could Ponder 

560
00:35:33,900 --> 00:35:40,000
how I create a branch or even a 
sapling one that is fully my own

561
00:35:40,300 --> 00:35:44,900
unique to me and the life. 
I live in our first episode of 

562
00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:48,600
this podcast season. 
We examined the Greek myth of 

563
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:54,100
Persephone this Tale. 
The story of Seasons changing of

564
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,600
people trying to grow and become
better versions. 

565
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,700
Of themselves of experiencing 
loss and hardship yet somehow 

566
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:05,800
finding the motivation and love 
to keep moving forward. 

567
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:10,400
This tale continues to resonate 
with so many including the 

568
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,000
shama. 
She mentioned, the Broadway 

569
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:17,500
musical Hades town, which is a 
modern retelling of this myth. 

570
00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:22,400
That's the thing about myths, 
be, they, the Greek variety or 

571
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,500
the stories of our families. 
We passed down through 

572
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:29,200
generations. 
Neshama shows us that while our 

573
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:33,900
family trees May inform the past
events that have led us into 

574
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:36,200
being. 
We also have the power to 

575
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,700
reroute the course with our own 
lives. 

576
00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:42,700
She speaks of being her own 
sapling, as when she was finally

577
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:47,400
able to fully be a mom, a 
partner and an artist and 

578
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,000
reminds me that we can sit at 
the foot of our family trees. 

579
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:56,600
And also create a new Branch, a 
new story, a new song. 

580
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:01,900
Haiti's Town ends with a musical
toast, a blessing for the actors

581
00:37:01,900 --> 00:37:05,500
and also the audience who have 
all shared their time together, 

582
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,900
and we'll now go away on their 
own into their separate lives 

583
00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:17,000
outside of the theater. 
Persephone sings some flowers. 

584
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:33,500
But the ones who blew in the 
bitter snow, we raise our cups. 

585
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:42,100
We raise our cups to them. 
Our deep gratitude for neshama 

586
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:46,400
for joining us today and for her
vulnerability and inspiring 

587
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,500
truth. 
Thank you for joining tree 

588
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:59,600
speech today To learn more about
our podcast and episodes. 

589
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,900
Please visit tree speech. 
Podcast.com we're thrilled to be

590
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:07,500
able to offer interviews, 
creative insights and stories 

591
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:11,200
about the natural world we live 
in and the trees who guide our 

592
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,700
way. 
Please also consider supporting 

593
00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:17,100
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Every contribution supports our 

594
00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:21,000
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Gifts of gratitude including an 

595
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:25,300
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596
00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:28,100
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597
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