1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:05,680 Is there no laws against people that's let's say you meet the 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:10,320 man, you know he likes you and then you guys did and the person 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,400 takes. You to school. 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:17,800 Is there no laws that enforces? That you marry the. 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,760 Person that everyone has not done anything, where are you 6 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,480 bringing? From deeply. 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,920 You know there are some things that you pick up on your own, 8 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:35,640 but when the devil realizes that I can use this to harm you, then 9 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,560 the hammer. On it and make sure that you 10 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,240 keep doing it. Then it. 11 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,480 Becomes an addiction. What you have is an addiction 12 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,360 that needs to be killed. You meet guy for Snapchat? 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:51,800 Hey, we meet men on snapchats. Wow. 14 00:00:54,400 --> 00:01:09,680 You're ready. For the very first time, I'm 15 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:21,640 stuck. Hi everyone, welcome to the POV. 16 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,840 Let's read some stories. You know our mandate. 17 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,560 Here let's. Go to read some. 18 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,000 Stories and then. Share opinion on these. 19 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,400 Stories now before. We do that. 20 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,440 Let's. Do an OT. 21 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,600 TD OK Period of the. Things you can see on me. 22 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:40,880 So my glasses. On my Optima chest, my shirt is. 23 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,280 Thrift. And then my. 24 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,800 Hair. My hair. 25 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,920 Yes, my hair is from the Hair Hub. 26 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,720 I'll put their number. In the description so you can 27 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,600 quickly. Buy some because the. 28 00:01:55,680 --> 00:02:01,040 I'm not eating. I'm not eating like your girl. 29 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,560 Can do everything low. Cut long, cut braids, everything 30 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,400 is to look pink. Is it what? 31 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:11,920 Now let's get into. Our mantra for you know. 32 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:12,880 Each. Episode. 33 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:17,680 We have a mantra like a pledge where we show our respects to 34 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,680 the. People that send. 35 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:23,080 The stories now this is it if they posted it on social. 36 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,400 Media. If they posted it on social. 37 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,160 Media. If they posted it on social. 38 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,120 Media. Then they made it our business 39 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,160 and since they made it our business, we go. 40 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,600 Make it our business. This simply means that they 41 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,200 trusted us enough to bring it to. 42 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,000 Us. We. 43 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,000 Also need to respect. Them enough to be sincere about 44 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,120 it. So if you that sense this story. 45 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:51,000 You messed up. Olga, I'm going to tell you if 46 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,920 you did something that needs to be addressed or worked on 47 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:57,520 personally for you. I'm going to tell you now if the 48 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,960 other person was the one that messed up, then go collect as 49 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,760 usual. So let's get into the stories. 50 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:12,400 That we have for this session. Dear Ekia, please keep me 51 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,840 anonymous. Been jacking off for some. 52 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,280 Years back. And it all started. 53 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,520 Because I can't get a girlfriend and can keep it up when I'm 54 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,160 horny, OK? And I try. 55 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,520 Putting an end to it and getting a healthy relationship but no 56 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,600 luck. Mostly they like a show interest 57 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,600 in me but when I propose then I get rejected countless times. 58 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,440 For the past two years, I can't get myself a single lady in my. 59 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,160 Life I'm anti. Social but I tried making some 60 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,840 friends but no end. Is there any? 61 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,600 Chance. That I'm being spiritually 62 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,640 haunted. Any advice please? 63 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,920 I will be in the comments section. 64 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:06,520 OK, now let's look at its form. Is he being spiritually haunted? 65 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:13,600 Now we all know that sexual. Immorality is a sin, right? 66 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,880 Good, that is having sex. Without being married. 67 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,839 Masturbating. All the types of things that 68 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:22,440 would make you give yourself pleasure. 69 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,560 It's all. Sunshine. 70 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,040 So first, you're not married now. 71 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,080 Here's the. Thing when you start doing 72 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,000 things like masturbation. You know the masturbation. 73 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,840 Is one of the things that is hurting. 74 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,400 Our young. Men and women of today and the. 75 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,600 Devil has Ways and Means and I don't want anybody to sit there 76 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,840 and say that, hey, that everyone has not done anything. 77 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,920 Where are you going? To bringing from deeply. 78 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,360 You know, there are some things that's you pick up on your own, 79 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:59,040 but when the devil realizes that I can use this to harm you, then 80 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,240 the hammer on it. And make sure that you keep 81 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,160 doing it. Then it becomes an. 82 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,920 Addiction. What you have is an addiction 83 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,200 that needs to be. Killed both mentally and. 84 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,120 Spiritually. Spiritually, because you're 85 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,440 doing due diligence. That's why I did. 86 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,720 Not say. Go and Kadush. 87 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:21,720 It without working on your mind good. 88 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:27,000 So maybe you are not. Being spiritually haunted. 89 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,840 But maybe you started, you picked it up yourself, and then 90 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,360 you know it became an Ave. The devil can use you. 91 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:38,320 Through and decided to go through and now it has become 92 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,240 something that you've been haunted with. 93 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:45,000 You're young, I don't even think that it is wise. 94 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,840 That's the only reason why you are looking for a girlfriend in 95 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,160 today's age is to. Be able to take. 96 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,440 Away the horniness in you so she'll become you know. 97 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,800 Nothing more than. A Sex object. 98 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,000 To you. Yes. 99 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,080 So you don't go ahead. And sin a sin. 100 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,320 You understand? So, yeah. 101 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,320 Is this sin to come back? Sin like last, Last. 102 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,400 That's what it's looking like. I think you need to, you know, 103 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,040 think of getting in a relationship with someone. 104 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,640 With. The thinking of I want to build 105 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,840 a life for this person. You know what I said? 106 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,520 There is. Just a bonus to it, you know, 107 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,720 build a life for this person with everything included. 108 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,960 So what I'm basically trying to say is that don't try to find a 109 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,000 girlfriend to satisfy your sexual. 110 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,840 Needs. Or so you don't masturbate and 111 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,680 find ways. To stop masturbating. 112 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,600 One is trying to speak to a counselor, a therapist if you 113 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,320 can afford it, and to. Praying about it. 114 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,720 And reading the Bible and you're going to be. 115 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,720 Fine. OK, that's love. 116 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,680 It that's love it. Dear IKEA, I'm a girl of 22 117 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,760 years. Old and a student. 118 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,240 I met this guy on Snapchat. You meet guy for snapchats? 119 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:06,400 Hey we meet men on snapchats. Wow at a time I was going 120 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,800 through trauma for my last. Relationship. 121 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,080 He was the only one who was always available for me. 122 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,400 He was. Always nice to me and always 123 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,520 advises me. He asked. 124 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,400 Me to be his girlfriend. After a few. 125 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,560 Weeks of talking, I accepted. This guy was very nice and 126 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,520 always treats me right. And I will. 127 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,560 Say with. All my relationship I've been 128 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,160 in, he was the only one that knows how to treat a lady right. 129 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,280 I fell in love with him and always leaves school to go meet 130 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:42,080 him in Kumasi anytime he's around and there's never a dull 131 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,160 moment with him on. So he went back to Accra, where 132 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,680 he actually bees. After he went to a. 133 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,520 Car within two weeks this guy started giving me attitude. 134 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,760 Not even attention anymore. This is where things started 135 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,360 going wrong and arguments always on because. 136 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,440 I feel he was doing something. Behind me but he always keeps 137 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:08,000 insisting that he's always busy cause any time he's in a car 138 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,080 it's just about work. Understood him. 139 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,240 Bastow wasn't. Getting that much attention from 140 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,320 him? Neither does he even call to 141 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:20,400 check up on me but anytime I confront him about it, it turns 142 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:24,760 to arguments and the emotional type and also someone that cares 143 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:29,080 so much about body count. So therefore I hate jumping from 144 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,360 relationships to relationships and right now I can't even 145 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:36,280 concentrate on myself or my academic because all I do is 146 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,880 think about my relationship. I cry every day and whenever I 147 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:45,760 tell him he says sorry until one day. 148 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,960 I saw a video of him which he. Sent to me, he was in a. 149 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,520 Fancy restaurant. And there was someone else on 150 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,760 the table with him. And hearing the. 151 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,000 Voice from the back. I realized it was a lady. 152 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,320 I asked him and he. Said it was his friend he went 153 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,000 out with and the lady talking was just a waiter. 154 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,920 But I didn't believe it, and he later told me the lady was just 155 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,800 an ordinary person sitting on the table with him because it's 156 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:17,040 a public place. Fessy was just a waiter now. 157 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:21,080 Ordinary person that's even. Yeah, it's like a. 158 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:27,680 Ordinary Hey, this guy can't lie, I. 159 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:35,280 Doubt. I told him that it was a lie. 160 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,840 And asked him to. Choose between the relationship 161 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,280 and the truth. And he said he was serious, that 162 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,280 he didn't know the lady and she was just making her call. 163 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,840 I ignored him because I didn't want anymore drama he has. 164 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,640 Become more cool towards. Me and has always been 165 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,080 aggressive towards me. I'm very traumatized right now 166 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:57,240 because I don't know what to do again because I cry my eyes out 167 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:02,360 every day and night. Asking what? 168 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,240 I have done wrong and I'm seeing no change in his behavior. 169 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,640 Please share my story and keep me anonymous. 170 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,360 I need advice from your people and the media. 171 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,680 Thank you, Say I. Should pass because she didn't 172 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:20,760 say. She wants my opinion and. 173 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:29,480 Yeah, so I'll leave this as the comments section. 174 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:35,360 Wow wow oh disgusting. Into Ebolas. 175 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:41,400 Very interesting take. Well, you didn't ask me for your 176 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,080 opinion, but I can tell you this one for free. 177 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:50,280 Eh, I know that it's difficult when you're in love with. 178 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,560 Someone and the person changes towards you. 179 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,880 And you have tried to find reasons. 180 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,160 Why this is happening and? You always seem to feel like you 181 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,600 are the 1 going mad. Right. 182 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,920 I need you to. Pull back. 183 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,160 OK. I mean, he doesn't call you. 184 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,360 Again, you 2 don't call. Again and see like. 185 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,000 Pull back a bit, Pull back a bit and see. 186 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:24,120 If really, and I'm not saying this because of the. 187 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,840 Things that I see on social media. 188 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:32,200 But because I. Genuinely believe that as a 189 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:39,480 person. Don't go a day without at least 190 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,480 saying hello to. Someone you claim you. 191 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,480 Love, and I'm not saying that, sit. 192 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,480 On the phone 24/7 with a person chatting and. 193 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,920 Giggling. No, I'm saying even when you 194 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,880 know you're going to be the most busiest. 195 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,640 Person on. Earth because you won't even 196 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,480 have time to eat and whilst you're sitting there to eat you 197 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,560 can just pick your phone and say. 198 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,880 Baby, how's your day going? Even that time you. 199 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,560 Won't get. When you wake up in the morning, 200 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,080 Jason, good morning, even though you're with the bathroom to 201 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:13,960 where sits down and take a dump whilst watching TikTok, you can 202 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,960 sit. Down or you can see you're 203 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,680 walking because you. You don't really have. 204 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,200 Time, sha. So good morning, babe. 205 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,320 Today's going to. Be really busy for me. 206 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,960 I love you, have a good day. Avnis if you think you're going 207 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,840 to be the most. Busiest do that 3. 208 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,160 Times a a week and then the two days. 209 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,000 Easy to call instead of sending a message whilst you're on your. 210 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,040 Way to the toilet or when you wake up in the morning and you 211 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,800 are scrolling through. Tiktok because you won't say 212 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,520 your morning prayers and do your morning time with God, but you 213 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,600 go through Tiktok and go to other platforms. 214 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,280 Whilst even that time you can also use it to yes, come on in 215 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,960 or leave a message. You don't have any reason. 216 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,400 Really you don't. You may, you can't be the most 217 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:05,160 busiest person on earth and still want someone to give, 218 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,040 give, give, give, give in terms of emotions and, you know, give 219 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,160 it back. That's not fair. 220 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:14,360 So pull back, OK. Don't call him as much. 221 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:20,160 If you used to call him three times a day, try doing once or 222 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:21,760 you call once and. It's gonna be hard. 223 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,280 Call once and leave. It at that time will come, you 224 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:30,080 won't really feel like. Calling again because and if he 225 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:35,560 doesn't we he really wouldn't. If he actually wants you when 226 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,080 all this is going on, you would also see that there's a problem. 227 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,160 Someone tried to ask since you have asked and asked and asked. 228 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,480 This don't give you an answer. If he doesn't come back and ask 229 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:47,920 sister, he has lost interest. He's just doing one of those. 230 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,760 Stupid things that some of the guys do when they lose interest, 231 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,600 they won't tell you. They will still be letting you 232 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,480 hang around a jaw. If you lose interest in me, 233 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:03,560 please tell me and leave. Me the fuck alone OK don't let 234 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:08,520 me go mad in my head. OK, so my dear, push back. 235 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,560 You have your education, really don't allow it to fuck you up. 236 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:19,360 Pull back. OK, let's love it let's love it. 237 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,480 Dear Aqua, please keep me anonymous. 238 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,480 I'm a lady of 25. I was a teacher but now I have 239 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,480 quit because the school. Is not taking SHS graduates 240 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,040 anymore so I decided to learn fashion. 241 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,200 I have managed to buy. My sewing machine and it's left 242 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,120 with my training fees and some items on the list. 243 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,880 A little background story, my dad passed away 18 years ago. 244 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,960 I have two siblings. And I'm a second born after my 245 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,560 dad's absence. My dad's family threw us from 246 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,960 the house when it was raining. There was no help from anyone. 247 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,080 I have. I have to. 248 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,960 Stop school and help my mother to sell someone's cassava for 249 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,280 the person before we can eat. We sleep. 250 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:02,280 In my dad's elder brother's shop for two years before my mum was 251 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,720 able to rent a single room. Fast forward, things were OK so 252 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,920 I went back to school and through my mum's struggles I was 253 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:12,480 able to complete SHS with good grades by the grace of God. 254 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,320 So things became hard and my mum has to leave our town and stay 255 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,000 with her mum in the village. So through the teaching I was 256 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,520 able to rent a single room and take care of my junior brother. 257 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,560 Life is not easy but we are managing. 258 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,880 I met this guy who is in his late 30s. 259 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,520 He's not rich but he's doing well. 260 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:34,200 As I'm typing to you it's 2:28 AM and I'm crying. 261 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,720 He has trust issues because he sent someone to school and after 262 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:43,440 school the person betrayed him so his insecurity is very high. 263 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,680 He saw a number on my phone and he said I'm dating the person 264 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,280 because the person has texted me Good morning dear and because of 265 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:56,600 that this guy and his girlfriend has issues because she thinks 266 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,520 I'm dating her man. But I have to. 267 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,680 Talk to him once, the very first day he took my number. 268 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,440 I didn't heard. From him again until he saw that 269 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,280 text. Not even a week. 270 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,320 As I'm typing to you, I was asleep around 10 PMI had a 271 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,560 knock, I opened it and it was me. 272 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,160 Entered the room and started shouting and searching, saying 273 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,720 that there's a man in the room because he called my number and 274 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,040 it was busy, not even on another. 275 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,400 Call meanwhile I'm not the one. Controlling the network he took 276 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:33,440 the phone he bought for me keypad, so I was trying to get 277 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:39,040 it back and remove the same come and see beatings in my lifetime. 278 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:44,560 No man, I mean no man has beaten me before, but this beating is 279 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:53,440 extreme, hey? He just. 280 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,280 Renewed my rent and paid for my training fees. 281 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,720 Now he's begging that he's sorry won't happen again. 282 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,640 If I quit he would throw me from the room and take the training 283 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,440 money. I don't have that kind of money. 284 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:24,720 What should I do? For the very first time, I'm 285 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:38,040 stuck. God damn it, I'm stuck. 286 00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:49,350 It will happen again. That's the unfortunate thing. 287 00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:56,670 Are you? So I'm saying this in the 288 00:17:56,670 --> 00:18:02,640 context that if this guy never tries to heal from that trauma 289 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,360 and sticks. Within his state of mind right 290 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:11,800 now. Are you ready to deal with this? 291 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,240 Thing. This type of pressure, this type 292 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:21,320 of emotion, like you will be on your toes for the rest of your 293 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,960 life. You can't talk to another man or 294 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:30,760 say hello to another man without ever thinking, is this going to 295 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:37,410 get him? Angry is there. 296 00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:42,730 No laws against people that Let's say you meet the man you 297 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:47,210 know he likes you and then you guys dates and the person takes 298 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,010 you to. School. 299 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:55,010 Is there no laws that enforces that you marry the person 300 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:59,450 because see the damage one of the I believe that you many 301 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,720 please. Sometimes we are doing things 302 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:06,800 like this say because it's something that's in a long run. 303 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,440 You don't know the thought. Of man. 304 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,240 Why don't you? Get a lawyer involved and sign a 305 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,760 contract with the person so far as the. 306 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,840 Person knows. See, I'm saying this because 307 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,720 maybe the only. Way the person can happen, say. 308 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,680 I can't be with you. Again, it's. 309 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:35,720 Either through violence or or I genuinely don't love you again, 310 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:41,080 not the whole you're not my type anymore or we are not on the 311 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:45,120 same level anymore. Like do, don't. 312 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,240 Let me just leave it because that's not where the focus is. 313 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:54,960 The focus is you, girl. It's either you put yourself. 314 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,960 In a very. Sticky spot. 315 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,720 And stay there because you want to complete your school and 316 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,960 finish your training and then maybe. 317 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,040 Ask him to give you time to pay him back and don't take 318 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,800 anything. From him from now on. 319 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,480 Just be there because you want to. 320 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:16,640 Finish your training or you walk away. 321 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,080 Begging to give you time to pay him. 322 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,960 Back. And tell him that you're going 323 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,760 away because you're scared. For your life. 324 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,080 And maybe you personally can even get police involved, 325 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,600 reports the issue to the police. Let's them allow both of you to. 326 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:37,560 Sit down and sign a bond, right? And let him give you the time. 327 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,720 To pay. Whilst he leaves you. 328 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,920 Alone. Then if you don't pay them, you. 329 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,400 Know that you too. You are another because. 330 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,800 Abuse. Cannot be tolerated. 331 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,880 It doesn't matter what you do for the person. 332 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,520 If you have given the person GSF abuses. 333 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,840 Abuse. OK. 334 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,240 And with the the. Way it happened, it will happen 335 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,640 again. He will see a text. 336 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,280 A mistake test and. Those are you for. 337 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,520 Your eye to cheer. Maybe when your head hits 338 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,880 something you won't even wake up again. 339 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,240 It's noise, you Charlie. Trauma. 340 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,960 Trauma. Somebody has broken. 341 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,880 Another another person's. Child. 342 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,360 God is watching that. Woman. 343 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,360 That's how it. That's how it dear Ekia. 344 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,520 Please keep me anonymous. Hope all is. 345 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:32,960 Well, at your end. I've been having issues and want 346 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,680 you and your. Fans to help me, they are not. 347 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,440 Fans, so their community members, their family members, 348 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,800 their friends. Here we go in 2020. 349 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,200 I met a lady. Whose mom sells food? 350 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,560 At my workplace, which I normally eat from there in the 351 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,720 afternoons. She was then informed too and 352 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,760 due to COVID they are in the house. 353 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,840 One day after me. Eating, I gathered the courage 354 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,200 to talk to her to get her number. 355 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,480 Fast forward, we started friendship and one day the 356 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,640 school called them to come for their things and she went with 357 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,160 an uncle. We run. 358 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,080 Shifts and that day I was on night so we talked throughout 359 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,840 the journey and realized that the uncle couldn't bring her 360 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,160 back that same day so she demanded to come with the 361 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,600 approval of the parents who. The uncle let a driver. 362 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,040 Friend picked her and on the way the driver. 363 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,320 Wanted to. Make quiz with her. 364 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:31,920 She called me and she called me as if it was the father she 365 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,080 called. So the driver couldn't continue 366 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,160 advise her to let. At least her mum know. 367 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,240 But no avail. Fast forward again. 368 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,680 They resume school, she. Left for school this time we 369 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,600 looked things up a bit, Peer pressure got there and she 370 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,040 called off and a relationship in the name of writing Wasi. 371 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,600 It's been long time. We talked and I got admission 372 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,120 and was about to leave and decided to at least call her. 373 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:59,680 She picked up the call and said she was busy so I hanged up and 374 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:04,760 texted her that I don't mean to disturb her but rather wanted to 375 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,840 let her know that if she's back she's not going to see me. 376 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:11,280 Few minutes later she called and we talked more than an hour and 377 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,480 I told her I'm already gone and she do call to check up on me 378 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,600 and also do so. She advised that I shouldn't 379 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,600 take a girlfriend and concentrate on my studies. 380 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,760 Second year vacation and I went to my hometown and she was. 381 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,000 Also, and she also. Came down from Accra and we met, 382 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000 talked and introduced each other to our mothers. 383 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,160 Now I finished my program and going for NSS. 384 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,240 She has. She wasn't buying the idea of me 385 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,840 still going too far to western region, but later understood. 386 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,520 This is where things. Started changing again few 387 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:45,160 months to finish my service which she knows I'm doing my top 388 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:49,480 up during the service period also she's away she doesn't pick 389 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,160 my. Calls. 390 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,360 Reply texts, messages, Ellie and a whole lot. 391 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:56,880 When she's stressed about family issues where she's working, she 392 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,120 makes sure she talks to me. I ask about her plans for life. 393 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:04,200 And the past years she completed school but nothing tangible came 394 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,760 out, so I decided not to ask again. 395 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,880 Recently I texted her. About her receiving the money on 396 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,200 her and when she doesn't she let me know. 397 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,720 After this passed, she didn't receive the money and she. 398 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,160 Called and said the money didn't come. 399 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,120 I said OK. When she called, she was. 400 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:22,520 Like her phone fell off into water and not functioning 401 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,720 properly so I won't be hearing from her. 402 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,360 My birthday was third. October and her. 403 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,880 Birthday was. October 10th and she didn't get 404 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,800 me anything but she was expecting gifts from me and I 405 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,640 told her to come later she will get a chance and means to get to 406 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:42,080 me when she's in need but I need to I need her to talk to her I 407 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,120 will not find it. She started complaining about my 408 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,800 distance that that's making her not to call me. 409 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:51,520 I know she has a a guy friend who she's been always calling 410 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,680 and texting. We can be making coin the other. 411 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,000 Guy will call and she will put me on hold then more than three 412 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,600 minutes and claim it was the mum. 413 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,720 One of our conversation. She was like her mum likes me 414 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,200 and wants her to keep me and I'll be a great person so she 415 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,560 should not lose me. Now my mind is telling me 416 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:13,120 otherwise of her to wise up fast and don't waste my time. 417 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,680 Life is on her. I'm five years older than her 418 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,880 and she's not doing anything to help herself either in education 419 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,880 and in school acquisition. I told her I'll come to Accra 420 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,520 but as things are going I don't want to because I'm already 421 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:30,040 feeling disappointed by her. The house she works at, the man 422 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,480 was making changes on her yet she couldn't say anything. 423 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,280 I tried to get her a different work but she refused and it's 424 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,480 still there. Please help. 425 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,360 Me, should I continue to trust there and go to Accra or just 426 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,760 let things be like continue my life? 427 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,440 How are things where you are like? 428 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,040 In your story the write up. Is bad, but. 429 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,640 Where you are are are things working out for you? 430 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,640 Because if you don't see the. Seriousness in her. 431 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,520 Don't just pack your. Bags and come to Accra because 432 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,320 of her. If you can't find a good job. 433 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:05,840 That can take care of you. There stay there if you want to 434 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,480 move back to Accra. Because you want to. 435 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,880 That's fair. But don't move. 436 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,840 Because you think the relationship will work more if 437 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,440 you come here. If she's not even showing any 438 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,360 seriousness, do you understand? So you need to sit down and 439 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:21,480 think about it well. Don't just pack your bags then 440 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,720 come. If you're doing something 441 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,240 tangible there, you're making good money there and you want to 442 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,840 live there, stay. There at work. 443 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,560 If you feel like OK you want to find a job in a craft for your 444 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,840 own self, do that. But with the way she's behaving 445 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,800 in her own seriousness, you can't just up. 446 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,840 And come because of that relationship. 447 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,120 Because if you do that. And things don't go. 448 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:44,720 Well, and you come and you guys don't work out. 449 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:51,200 Problem will come all right. Anyway, thank you very much for 450 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,840 watching the episode. As always I'm. 451 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,520 Excited. To sit down with. 452 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,200 You and have conversations with you. 453 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,640 I'll see you in the next. Episode, but until. 454 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,200 Then my name is Anika Depa and don't forget to subscribe, Share 455 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:08,120 your story in my DMS on TikTok and also. 456 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,920 If your business you know where. To meet me on my e-mail, right 457 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,920 in my body. I'll see you in the next 458 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,080 episode. Bye.