Is there no laws against people that's let's say you meet the
man, you know he likes you and then you guys did and the person
takes. You to school.
Is there no laws that enforces? That you marry the.
Person that everyone has not done anything, where are you
bringing? From deeply.
You know there are some things that you pick up on your own,
but when the devil realizes that I can use this to harm you, then
the hammer. On it and make sure that you
keep doing it. Then it.
Becomes an addiction. What you have is an addiction
that needs to be killed. You meet guy for Snapchat?
Hey, we meet men on snapchats. Wow.
You're ready. For the very first time, I'm
stuck. Hi everyone, welcome to the POV.
Let's read some stories. You know our mandate.
Here let's. Go to read some.
Stories and then. Share opinion on these.
Stories now before. We do that.
Let's. Do an OT.
TD OK Period of the. Things you can see on me.
So my glasses. On my Optima chest, my shirt is.
Thrift. And then my.
Hair. My hair.
Yes, my hair is from the Hair Hub.
I'll put their number. In the description so you can
quickly. Buy some because the.
I'm not eating. I'm not eating like your girl.
Can do everything low. Cut long, cut braids, everything
is to look pink. Is it what?
Now let's get into. Our mantra for you know.
Each. Episode.
We have a mantra like a pledge where we show our respects to
the. People that send.
The stories now this is it if they posted it on social.
Media. If they posted it on social.
Media. Then they made it our business
and since they made it our business, we go.
Make it our business. This simply means that they
trusted us enough to bring it to.
Us. We.
Also need to respect. Them enough to be sincere about
it. So if you that sense this story.
You messed up. Olga, I'm going to tell you if
you did something that needs to be addressed or worked on
personally for you. I'm going to tell you now if the
other person was the one that messed up, then go collect as
usual. So let's get into the stories.
That we have for this session. Dear Ekia, please keep me
anonymous. Been jacking off for some.
Years back. And it all started.
Because I can't get a girlfriend and can keep it up when I'm
horny, OK? And I try.
Putting an end to it and getting a healthy relationship but no
luck. Mostly they like a show interest
in me but when I propose then I get rejected countless times.
For the past two years, I can't get myself a single lady in my.
Life I'm anti. Social but I tried making some
friends but no end. Is there any?
Chance. That I'm being spiritually
haunted. Any advice please?
I will be in the comments section.
OK, now let's look at its form. Is he being spiritually haunted?
Now we all know that sexual. Immorality is a sin, right?
Good, that is having sex. Without being married.
Masturbating. All the types of things that
would make you give yourself pleasure.
It's all. Sunshine.
So first, you're not married now.
Here's the. Thing when you start doing
things like masturbation. You know the masturbation.
Is one of the things that is hurting.
Our young. Men and women of today and the.
Devil has Ways and Means and I don't want anybody to sit there
and say that, hey, that everyone has not done anything.
Where are you going? To bringing from deeply.
You know, there are some things that's you pick up on your own,
but when the devil realizes that I can use this to harm you, then
the hammer on it. And make sure that you keep
doing it. Then it becomes an.
Addiction. What you have is an addiction
that needs to be. Killed both mentally and.
Spiritually. Spiritually, because you're
doing due diligence. That's why I did.
Not say. Go and Kadush.
It without working on your mind good.
So maybe you are not. Being spiritually haunted.
But maybe you started, you picked it up yourself, and then
you know it became an Ave. The devil can use you.
Through and decided to go through and now it has become
something that you've been haunted with.
You're young, I don't even think that it is wise.
That's the only reason why you are looking for a girlfriend in
today's age is to. Be able to take.
Away the horniness in you so she'll become you know.
Nothing more than. A Sex object.
To you. Yes.
So you don't go ahead. And sin a sin.
You understand? So, yeah.
Is this sin to come back? Sin like last, Last.
That's what it's looking like. I think you need to, you know,
think of getting in a relationship with someone.
With. The thinking of I want to build
a life for this person. You know what I said?
There is. Just a bonus to it, you know,
build a life for this person with everything included.
So what I'm basically trying to say is that don't try to find a
girlfriend to satisfy your sexual.
Needs. Or so you don't masturbate and
find ways. To stop masturbating.
One is trying to speak to a counselor, a therapist if you
can afford it, and to. Praying about it.
And reading the Bible and you're going to be.
Fine. OK, that's love.
It that's love it. Dear IKEA, I'm a girl of 22
years. Old and a student.
I met this guy on Snapchat. You meet guy for snapchats?
Hey we meet men on snapchats. Wow at a time I was going
through trauma for my last. Relationship.
He was the only one who was always available for me.
He was. Always nice to me and always
advises me. He asked.
Me to be his girlfriend. After a few.
Weeks of talking, I accepted. This guy was very nice and
always treats me right. And I will.
Say with. All my relationship I've been
in, he was the only one that knows how to treat a lady right.
I fell in love with him and always leaves school to go meet
him in Kumasi anytime he's around and there's never a dull
moment with him on. So he went back to Accra, where
he actually bees. After he went to a.
Car within two weeks this guy started giving me attitude.
Not even attention anymore. This is where things started
going wrong and arguments always on because.
I feel he was doing something. Behind me but he always keeps
insisting that he's always busy cause any time he's in a car
it's just about work. Understood him.
Bastow wasn't. Getting that much attention from
him? Neither does he even call to
check up on me but anytime I confront him about it, it turns
to arguments and the emotional type and also someone that cares
so much about body count. So therefore I hate jumping from
relationships to relationships and right now I can't even
concentrate on myself or my academic because all I do is
think about my relationship. I cry every day and whenever I
tell him he says sorry until one day.
I saw a video of him which he. Sent to me, he was in a.
Fancy restaurant. And there was someone else on
the table with him. And hearing the.
Voice from the back. I realized it was a lady.
I asked him and he. Said it was his friend he went
out with and the lady talking was just a waiter.
But I didn't believe it, and he later told me the lady was just
an ordinary person sitting on the table with him because it's
a public place. Fessy was just a waiter now.
Ordinary person that's even. Yeah, it's like a.
Ordinary Hey, this guy can't lie, I.
Doubt. I told him that it was a lie.
And asked him to. Choose between the relationship
and the truth. And he said he was serious, that
he didn't know the lady and she was just making her call.
I ignored him because I didn't want anymore drama he has.
Become more cool towards. Me and has always been
aggressive towards me. I'm very traumatized right now
because I don't know what to do again because I cry my eyes out
every day and night. Asking what?
I have done wrong and I'm seeing no change in his behavior.
Please share my story and keep me anonymous.
I need advice from your people and the media.
Thank you, Say I. Should pass because she didn't
say. She wants my opinion and.
Yeah, so I'll leave this as the comments section.
Wow wow oh disgusting. Into Ebolas.
Very interesting take. Well, you didn't ask me for your
opinion, but I can tell you this one for free.
Eh, I know that it's difficult when you're in love with.
Someone and the person changes towards you.
And you have tried to find reasons.
Why this is happening and? You always seem to feel like you
are the 1 going mad. Right.
I need you to. Pull back.
OK. I mean, he doesn't call you.
Again, you 2 don't call. Again and see like.
Pull back a bit, Pull back a bit and see.
If really, and I'm not saying this because of the.
Things that I see on social media.
But because I. Genuinely believe that as a
person. Don't go a day without at least
saying hello to. Someone you claim you.
Love, and I'm not saying that, sit.
On the phone 24/7 with a person chatting and.
Giggling. No, I'm saying even when you
know you're going to be the most busiest.
Person on. Earth because you won't even
have time to eat and whilst you're sitting there to eat you
can just pick your phone and say.
Baby, how's your day going? Even that time you.
Won't get. When you wake up in the morning,
Jason, good morning, even though you're with the bathroom to
where sits down and take a dump whilst watching TikTok, you can
sit. Down or you can see you're
walking because you. You don't really have.
Time, sha. So good morning, babe.
Today's going to. Be really busy for me.
I love you, have a good day. Avnis if you think you're going
to be the most. Busiest do that 3.
Times a a week and then the two days.
Easy to call instead of sending a message whilst you're on your.
Way to the toilet or when you wake up in the morning and you
are scrolling through. Tiktok because you won't say
your morning prayers and do your morning time with God, but you
go through Tiktok and go to other platforms.
Whilst even that time you can also use it to yes, come on in
or leave a message. You don't have any reason.
Really you don't. You may, you can't be the most
busiest person on earth and still want someone to give,
give, give, give, give in terms of emotions and, you know, give
it back. That's not fair.
So pull back, OK. Don't call him as much.
If you used to call him three times a day, try doing once or
you call once and. It's gonna be hard.
Call once and leave. It at that time will come, you
won't really feel like. Calling again because and if he
doesn't we he really wouldn't. If he actually wants you when
all this is going on, you would also see that there's a problem.
Someone tried to ask since you have asked and asked and asked.
This don't give you an answer. If he doesn't come back and ask
sister, he has lost interest. He's just doing one of those.
Stupid things that some of the guys do when they lose interest,
they won't tell you. They will still be letting you
hang around a jaw. If you lose interest in me,
please tell me and leave. Me the fuck alone OK don't let
me go mad in my head. OK, so my dear, push back.
You have your education, really don't allow it to fuck you up.
Pull back. OK, let's love it let's love it.
Dear Aqua, please keep me anonymous.
I'm a lady of 25. I was a teacher but now I have
quit because the school. Is not taking SHS graduates
anymore so I decided to learn fashion.
I have managed to buy. My sewing machine and it's left
with my training fees and some items on the list.
A little background story, my dad passed away 18 years ago.
I have two siblings. And I'm a second born after my
dad's absence. My dad's family threw us from
the house when it was raining. There was no help from anyone.
I have. I have to.
Stop school and help my mother to sell someone's cassava for
the person before we can eat. We sleep.
In my dad's elder brother's shop for two years before my mum was
able to rent a single room. Fast forward, things were OK so
I went back to school and through my mum's struggles I was
able to complete SHS with good grades by the grace of God.
So things became hard and my mum has to leave our town and stay
with her mum in the village. So through the teaching I was
able to rent a single room and take care of my junior brother.
Life is not easy but we are managing.
I met this guy who is in his late 30s.
He's not rich but he's doing well.
As I'm typing to you it's 2:28 AM and I'm crying.
He has trust issues because he sent someone to school and after
school the person betrayed him so his insecurity is very high.
He saw a number on my phone and he said I'm dating the person
because the person has texted me Good morning dear and because of
that this guy and his girlfriend has issues because she thinks
I'm dating her man. But I have to.
Talk to him once, the very first day he took my number.
I didn't heard. From him again until he saw that
text. Not even a week.
As I'm typing to you, I was asleep around 10 PMI had a
knock, I opened it and it was me.
Entered the room and started shouting and searching, saying
that there's a man in the room because he called my number and
it was busy, not even on another.
Call meanwhile I'm not the one. Controlling the network he took
the phone he bought for me keypad, so I was trying to get
it back and remove the same come and see beatings in my lifetime.
No man, I mean no man has beaten me before, but this beating is
extreme, hey? He just.
Renewed my rent and paid for my training fees.
Now he's begging that he's sorry won't happen again.
If I quit he would throw me from the room and take the training
money. I don't have that kind of money.
What should I do? For the very first time, I'm
stuck. God damn it, I'm stuck.
It will happen again. That's the unfortunate thing.
Are you? So I'm saying this in the
context that if this guy never tries to heal from that trauma
and sticks. Within his state of mind right
now. Are you ready to deal with this?
Thing. This type of pressure, this type
of emotion, like you will be on your toes for the rest of your
life. You can't talk to another man or
say hello to another man without ever thinking, is this going to
get him? Angry is there.
No laws against people that Let's say you meet the man you
know he likes you and then you guys dates and the person takes
you to. School.
Is there no laws that enforces that you marry the person
because see the damage one of the I believe that you many
please. Sometimes we are doing things
like this say because it's something that's in a long run.
You don't know the thought. Of man.
Why don't you? Get a lawyer involved and sign a
contract with the person so far as the.
Person knows. See, I'm saying this because
maybe the only. Way the person can happen, say.
I can't be with you. Again, it's.
Either through violence or or I genuinely don't love you again,
not the whole you're not my type anymore or we are not on the
same level anymore. Like do, don't.
Let me just leave it because that's not where the focus is.
The focus is you, girl. It's either you put yourself.
In a very. Sticky spot.
And stay there because you want to complete your school and
finish your training and then maybe.
Ask him to give you time to pay him back and don't take
anything. From him from now on.
Just be there because you want to.
Finish your training or you walk away.
Begging to give you time to pay him.
Back. And tell him that you're going
away because you're scared. For your life.
And maybe you personally can even get police involved,
reports the issue to the police. Let's them allow both of you to.
Sit down and sign a bond, right? And let him give you the time.
To pay. Whilst he leaves you.
Alone. Then if you don't pay them, you.
Know that you too. You are another because.
Abuse. Cannot be tolerated.
It doesn't matter what you do for the person.
If you have given the person GSF abuses.
Abuse. OK.
And with the the. Way it happened, it will happen
again. He will see a text.
A mistake test and. Those are you for.
Your eye to cheer. Maybe when your head hits
something you won't even wake up again.
It's noise, you Charlie. Trauma.
Somebody has broken.
Another another person's. Child.
God is watching that. Woman.
That's how it. That's how it dear Ekia.
Please keep me anonymous. Hope all is.
Well, at your end. I've been having issues and want
you and your. Fans to help me, they are not.
Fans, so their community members, their family members,
their friends. Here we go in 2020.
I met a lady. Whose mom sells food?
At my workplace, which I normally eat from there in the
afternoons. She was then informed too and
due to COVID they are in the house.
One day after me. Eating, I gathered the courage
to talk to her to get her number.
Fast forward, we started friendship and one day the
school called them to come for their things and she went with
an uncle. We run.
Shifts and that day I was on night so we talked throughout
the journey and realized that the uncle couldn't bring her
back that same day so she demanded to come with the
approval of the parents who. The uncle let a driver.
Friend picked her and on the way the driver.
Wanted to. Make quiz with her.
She called me and she called me as if it was the father she
called. So the driver couldn't continue
advise her to let. At least her mum know.
But no avail. Fast forward again.
They resume school, she. Left for school this time we
looked things up a bit, Peer pressure got there and she
called off and a relationship in the name of writing Wasi.
It's been long time. We talked and I got admission
and was about to leave and decided to at least call her.
She picked up the call and said she was busy so I hanged up and
texted her that I don't mean to disturb her but rather wanted to
let her know that if she's back she's not going to see me.
Few minutes later she called and we talked more than an hour and
I told her I'm already gone and she do call to check up on me
and also do so. She advised that I shouldn't
take a girlfriend and concentrate on my studies.
Second year vacation and I went to my hometown and she was.
Also, and she also. Came down from Accra and we met,
talked and introduced each other to our mothers.
Now I finished my program and going for NSS.
She has. She wasn't buying the idea of me
still going too far to western region, but later understood.
This is where things. Started changing again few
months to finish my service which she knows I'm doing my top
up during the service period also she's away she doesn't pick
my. Calls.
Reply texts, messages, Ellie and a whole lot.
When she's stressed about family issues where she's working, she
makes sure she talks to me. I ask about her plans for life.
And the past years she completed school but nothing tangible came
out, so I decided not to ask again.
Recently I texted her. About her receiving the money on
her and when she doesn't she let me know.
After this passed, she didn't receive the money and she.
Called and said the money didn't come.
I said OK. When she called, she was.
Like her phone fell off into water and not functioning
properly so I won't be hearing from her.
My birthday was third. October and her.
Birthday was. October 10th and she didn't get
me anything but she was expecting gifts from me and I
told her to come later she will get a chance and means to get to
me when she's in need but I need to I need her to talk to her I
will not find it. She started complaining about my
distance that that's making her not to call me.
I know she has a a guy friend who she's been always calling
and texting. We can be making coin the other.
Guy will call and she will put me on hold then more than three
minutes and claim it was the mum.
One of our conversation. She was like her mum likes me
and wants her to keep me and I'll be a great person so she
should not lose me. Now my mind is telling me
otherwise of her to wise up fast and don't waste my time.
Life is on her. I'm five years older than her
and she's not doing anything to help herself either in education
and in school acquisition. I told her I'll come to Accra
but as things are going I don't want to because I'm already
feeling disappointed by her. The house she works at, the man
was making changes on her yet she couldn't say anything.
I tried to get her a different work but she refused and it's
still there. Please help.
Me, should I continue to trust there and go to Accra or just
let things be like continue my life?
How are things where you are like?
In your story the write up. Is bad, but.
Where you are are are things working out for you?
Because if you don't see the. Seriousness in her.
Don't just pack your. Bags and come to Accra because
of her. If you can't find a good job.
That can take care of you. There stay there if you want to
move back to Accra. Because you want to.
That's fair. But don't move.
Because you think the relationship will work more if
you come here. If she's not even showing any
seriousness, do you understand? So you need to sit down and
think about it well. Don't just pack your bags then
come. If you're doing something
tangible there, you're making good money there and you want to
live there, stay. There at work.
If you feel like OK you want to find a job in a craft for your
own self, do that. But with the way she's behaving
in her own seriousness, you can't just up.
And come because of that relationship.
Because if you do that. And things don't go.
Well, and you come and you guys don't work out.
Problem will come all right. Anyway, thank you very much for
watching the episode. As always I'm.
Excited. To sit down with.
You and have conversations with you.
I'll see you in the next. Episode, but until.
Then my name is Anika Depa and don't forget to subscribe, Share
your story in my DMS on TikTok and also.
If your business you know where. To meet me on my e-mail, right
in my body. I'll see you in the next
episode. Bye.