1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:05,320 A woman that actually loves you and cares about you will not 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,200 behave like she's behaving A married man committing suicide 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,760 because of side chick. What are you talking about? 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,200 You are also the one taking care of this married man that 5 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,640 promised to even like help you and take care of it. 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,160 Now giving my money to white has become a that he's the one 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,960 giving you what's meet him that meet him twice a week. 8 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,240 That's why it's a week is for what's having sex with you. 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,760 That's why it's a week is for what's you giving your body to 10 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,400 him for your money back? What is it for? 11 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,440 I have plans for her. I have plans for her. 12 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,840 Guys, let me tell you, and this man can lie. 13 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:51,240 God, you have plans for who? By the end of this episode, you 14 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,120 will learn a few things about mental health. 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,400 You know, we're in the Mental Health Awareness Month and in 16 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:59,760 collaboration with Vena Water, we're going to talk a few things 17 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,800 about mental health. I asked you guys to send me some 18 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,879 questions and I'm going to get an expect to answer. 19 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:09,600 Well, I technically did not get an expect, but I got a nurse. 20 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,440 I have a friend that's the nurse and I will call her on phone and 21 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,320 then she will be part of the conversation answering your 22 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,520 questions for you. And so let's get into that 23 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,520 before we get into the stories we have for this episode. 24 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,920 But whilst you're listening, know that Vena Drinking Water 25 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,760 said let's do this for you. We'll be right back. 26 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,720 Welcome back, guys. I have my friend Andy 1st and 27 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,520 mom is a makeup artist and Ness. And because she's a Ness, my 28 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,000 assumption is that she has a little bit of an idea on what 29 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,000 mental health is about. She's needing it as she didn't 30 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:45,920 like to turn you. Yeah. 31 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,360 So let's have a conversation with her and then let's move 32 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,800 through this to get that baby girl. 33 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,840 How are you doing, baby? I'm good, I'm good. 34 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,400 OK, so we're going to get through some questions that some 35 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,600 followers sent about mental health. 36 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,000 What do you want to know about mental health? 37 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,560 And since we're in the Mental Health Awareness Month, let's 38 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,800 get through this together. The very first question I have 39 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,880 for you is this. What are some of the mental 40 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,240 health red flags we should never ignore? 41 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:28,520 Oh, some of the mental health reflects you shouldn't ignore. 42 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:35,000 Yes, one when you always feel burnt out and you're always like 43 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:40,080 you don't want to get in touch with family friend, you know, 44 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,880 you just want to be in your corner. 45 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:47,040 It's not healthy. OK, Well, sometimes you have to 46 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,920 also like take your time away from people. 47 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:55,560 But when it stops becoming consistent, you need to talk to 48 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:59,520 someone. Another thing, another thing is 49 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:05,400 when you feel like always being on social media, like stay in 50 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,800 bed, scroll through your phone for hours. 51 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:15,120 It's not healthy if especially when you're when you personally 52 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:23,920 have some sort of some sort of anxiety problem or panic attack. 53 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:29,720 Most of the time when you stay on social media for a long time, 54 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:35,440 sometimes it triggers some past event, it triggers something. 55 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,320 So it's better to stay off social media when that happens. 56 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:43,400 So staying on social media for a long time, it's another red 57 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,480 flag. Like there is actually one of 58 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,160 the red flags. OK, another red flag is you 59 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:57,720 crying for no reason. I know it sounds normal. 60 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:02,640 It sounds like, oh, it's normal. No, it's not OK. 61 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:07,400 It's not. You sit in there and you you be 62 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,800 sitting there and something comes in mind and you start 63 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:14,320 crying, waiting for no God damn reason. 64 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:22,040 It's no problem. Oh, there are a lot of red flags 65 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,440 you shouldn't, you shouldn't ignore. 66 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,760 Or. So for now, that's what that's. 67 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:31,160 For the red flags, OK, now let's move on to the next question. 68 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,200 Someone said it's on Friday. It's like a scenario, the person 69 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,320 said. I've been feeling really 70 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,560 overwhelmed lately, but I'm not sure if it's just stress or 71 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,920 something deeper. How do I know when it's time to 72 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:46,880 seek professional help? OK, how would you know when it 73 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,680 gets your points where you want to get? 74 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:54,880 OK relies on everything you want to give up. 75 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,080 You've tried everything. It's not working, you think it's 76 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:05,120 not working and you feel like that's when you have to seek 77 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:10,040 professional help to give me. OK, when you at rock bottom, 78 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,680 right? Yes. 79 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,320 OK, how do you know when you're in rock bottom? 80 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,600 When you feel like a rock bottom? 81 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,360 Apart from suicidal thoughts, what's what's the rock bottom 82 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,800 red flag? What's what? 83 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,480 What's the fish? Can you find yourself in? 84 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,280 I feel like this is me in rock bottom. 85 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,680 Oh, you stopped taking care of yourself? 86 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,720 You really don't care? What like. 87 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,800 What happens? You like what happened because 88 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,440 you know you are like, excuse me to say fuck it like. 89 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,080 OK. Yeah, that's also another formal 90 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,360 form of rock bottom. OK, but that time you don't have 91 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:55,640 to necessarily speak to no attracted. 92 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,960 No, sometimes you have to take a breath and just go out. 93 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:06,040 What are, you know, speak to friends. 94 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,400 If you don't have friends, family, you know, sometimes a 95 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,480 stranger, a random, they can't even help. 96 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,080 So yeah. So now let's talk about the 97 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,280 family part, because for the stranger thing, I get it, 98 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,720 because sometimes you go somewhere, you meet somebody and 99 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,320 you're talking to the person easily. 100 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,480 But for the family part, you know when you encounter a family 101 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,920 member and the moment you start talking to them about how you're 102 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,280 tired, you're exhausted, things are not working out, you know 103 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,400 you want to end it and they start telling you to trade. 104 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,120 What's David that's discouraging? 105 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,200 You exactly. That you're lazy. 106 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,880 You are just your dad. That's why I gave a lot of 107 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:50,320 examples, like family, some families, some family members 108 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:56,600 really help with, like talking to you about your crisis. 109 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,480 Yeah. And if you don't want to speak 110 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:05,680 to a family can fit a neutral person like a stranger or a 111 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,760 selfish if you want to. But it all depends on you and 112 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:14,920 personally you're comfortable and sharing your your emotions 113 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,680 and you're comfortable, OK. All right, so let's move on to 114 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,600 maybe two more questions and we're going to end this 115 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,600 particular part. This was this. 116 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,640 What are some small daily habits that actually help improve 117 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:34,320 mental health over time? Oh, OK, learn it, learn the 118 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,840 skill, OK, you know, learn the skill. 119 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:44,240 Incorporating new hobbies like swimming or people like those 120 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:51,280 tennis, you know, try to incorporate a lot of activities, 121 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:56,720 yes, activity, incorporating new activities into your your daily 122 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,080 routine. You have to go for long walk, 123 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,080 probably on the beach and the road guides, you know. 124 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:11,200 And another thing, listening to Southern mode uplifting music, 125 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:16,000 you know it, it helped a lot. The music part, it helped a lot. 126 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,400 You can't go sit at the beach or in a garden or in the proper 127 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,680 just outside your house. I mean, for the music, your news 128 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,160 flash, I, I don't want somebody being a heartbroken situation. 129 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,280 And because we are saying, well, listen to music, you will listen 130 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,360 to heartbreak music, and then you come and see that few of you 131 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,600 said listen to music when you're getting depressed. 132 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,440 And. As you are talking to maybe the 133 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,559 music has take you to somewhere you don't want to be. 134 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,640 So please don't. Well, listen to Laura. 135 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,600 Spend somewhere you are in a bad or depressive state. 136 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,480 Nobody, nobody listen to sad, sad songs. 137 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,960 They say that because we said it's better, healthy, and you 138 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,040 need to listen to music. A list. 139 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,760 No, please don't listen to me. Yeah, I learn my lesson. 140 00:08:55,760 --> 00:09:00,520 That would be more helpful. That's always specific with the 141 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:05,880 mood that let's say kind of music, yeah, music that can be 142 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:10,120 accept your mood like with absolute most also beat song 143 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:18,360 actually let that mood and yeah, so another thing lower your the 144 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,280 time you spend on social. This. 145 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,960 Yes, no other time she spent on social. 146 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:30,480 When you add that to your daily routine, it will really help you 147 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:36,600 a lot because people easily get triggered when they see random 148 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:43,240 stuff on TV, on social media. And another thing, read child's 149 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,720 speed. It broadens up your mind. 150 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,520 It makes you it helps you learn a lot about your condition, not 151 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:55,960 just your condition like and it helps you be self aware. 152 00:09:56,560 --> 00:10:02,040 OK, at their point, like you read about whatever you feel 153 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:06,680 like you're strong especially and sometimes nobles fun books. 154 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:11,720 Yeah, it helps you relax too. OK, so finally this question is 155 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:16,360 basically, I think a lot of people also ask this is burnout 156 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,520 the same as depression? And then quote UN quote, I'm 157 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,760 exhausted all the time, but I don't know if I'm just tired or 158 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,120 if it's something more. So people just want to probably 159 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,960 or this person wants to know the difference between depression 160 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:36,480 and tiredness. Tiredness is a symptom OK 161 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:43,160 Tiredness is a a symptom and depression is as whole topic on 162 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,960 its own is that. So tiredness is a symptom of 163 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:51,360 depression or is like there's? One symptom of depression like 164 00:10:51,360 --> 00:11:00,160 when you are depressed, it's like you are you want to how do 165 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:05,480 I ask you to detach every like. Detach yourself from people. 166 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,760 Be on your own. Yeah, be on your own, be on. 167 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,000 And the worst part of because when you can't walk back in this 168 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,920 way, you want to like give up on life, commit, fight. 169 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:23,120 You have this decide out or you feel you feel like everything is 170 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,200 not working out for you. Yeah, but there's this thing 171 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,680 that I've heard that sometimes the most depressed people are 172 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:32,120 the most happiest. Is it that they are happy in 173 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,640 public or their happiness in public should be as a a a 174 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,200 trigger or a way for somebody to know that oldest person is 175 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,240 depressed? Oh, it's a cover. 176 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,800 OK. It's a cover like they they, 177 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:55,080 they find it difficult to let people know what they are going. 178 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,760 Through OK. I don't know how, but they find 179 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,840 it difficult to let people know what they are going through and 180 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:10,680 this person when the when this person get someone who he can he 181 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:18,200 or she can actually talk to the let on the let it out out. 182 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:26,960 And when that person disappoints or ends up not being dead for 183 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:32,600 getting more hair, that's when it comes right back, when they, 184 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:37,440 they'll be OK, but they find it difficult to let it out. 185 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,520 Yeah. Yeah. 186 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:46,800 And they, they do, you know, the people who are depressed, they 187 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,840 help like others who are also depressed because. 188 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,640 Yes. Do you understand where? 189 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,040 That was that was I was saying that, that was I was saying that 190 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,440 they said the most depressed people are the most happiest 191 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,400 people. Yeah, they are the most happiest 192 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,440 people. They they, they can be good for 193 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:11,080 you because they are trying to tell you that this is what I 194 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,360 also want. OK, I'm not definite. 195 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,080 I'm not definite. OK. 196 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,960 That's another perspective. Interesting. 197 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,320 Yeah. And honestly they they ensure 198 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,160 you find fine that they are not OK. 199 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,200 But we are too blind to their happiness to see what is 200 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,400 actually going on. Yeah. 201 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,640 OK, they'll show you a lot of time. 202 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,800 They'll show you a lot of time. Yeah, they sometimes they are 203 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:44,520 absence minded. They are, you know, too happy 204 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:48,000 for your life here. Like yes, yes. 205 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:53,520 And especially they are when you guys meet and you're drinking on 206 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,560 a normal day, this person won't drink a lot. 207 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:59,840 But at that particular moment, the person is, you know, 208 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:06,080 drinking a lot, laughing, trying to get into those people. 209 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,240 They need your help. They need 3. 210 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:14,560 Everyone else is fine. That's really, that's sweet. 211 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,760 That's sweet. OK. 212 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,120 Thank you very much, every girl for doing this with me. 213 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,840 Verna says thank you whenever you pass by the house. 214 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,200 Please, you know you have a bunch of Verna good is here for 215 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:25,440 you. Oh, I'm. 216 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:32,440 Tommy. OK, alright, have a good time. 217 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,640 I'm thinking of the call. Alright, sure. 218 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,760 Bye. Bye. 219 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:43,280 OK guys, so I hope you enjoyed this particular segment of the 220 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,840 POVI. Enjoyed it too. 221 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,400 I think I've learnt a lot when it comes to mental health and I 222 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,760 hope you have learnt something too. 223 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,240 So let's look at 10. When we come back, we will go 224 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,000 through some of the stories we have in our archives. 225 00:14:54,120 --> 00:15:02,120 We'll be right back. OK, so now we're going to go 226 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,600 through the stories that we have for this episode. 227 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,360 If they posted it on social media, if they posted it on 228 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,520 social media, if they posted it on social media, then they made 229 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,880 it our business. And since they made it our 230 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,920 business, we're gonna make it our business. 231 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,360 Yeah, I know they look at stage a little, yeah, that's because I 232 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,040 have glasses on. I'm trying to block some of the 233 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,160 lights out, yes. And so let's go straight into 234 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,680 the stories and that we have the very first one, so. 235 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,240 That's that's love it. That's love it. 236 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:36,160 Good evening woman of cold. I met this lady on TikTok. 237 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,320 I followed her for over a year but I wasn't desperate in terms 238 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,120 of appearing on her live broadcast and also I don't 239 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,360 always like her post. But one day I decided to ask for 240 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,640 her contacts and she gave me a Facebook name and we had a chat. 241 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,760 She was bossy and rude from beginning but before our 242 00:15:55,760 --> 00:16:01,320 conversation ended she said the reason she can't fall in love is 243 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:05,880 because she doesn't want to be a bedding on a man. 244 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:10,800 She has to pay her rent and when she's stable she can now date. 245 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,400 So I left our conversations pending without talking to her 246 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:19,480 for over a week because I had to travel to Lagos, Nigeria for 247 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,040 some business meetings. I got back and reached out to 248 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,840 her. She was like if I don't want 249 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:29,040 help her then fine. I was like I deeply love you so 250 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,800 I will support you. Kindly give me some time to 251 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,240 raise the cash. She came telling me she has paid 252 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,840 half of the rent so I should support her. 253 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,840 I did send her the cash to settle the landlord because the 254 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,680 pressure on her was too much. Purely with all this, I haven't 255 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,400 met her before. It was chatting and phone calls. 256 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,160 She was eager to meet me, but I was very busy. 257 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,680 I finally got a time and we met at the new rented apartment. 258 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,120 We have a very short and beautiful conversation. 259 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,120 From there I started visiting her during weekends. 260 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:08,000 Something happened whichever I don't understand and it keeps me 261 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,839 thinking and worried. She decided to start a business 262 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:15,319 which is she told Black Pepper business so she gave it a name 263 00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:18,359 like sexy Ubola Shiton. So I decided to surprise her. 264 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,520 So I spoke to my designer to design some beautiful flyer for 265 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,960 her which I gave her a name according to her English name 266 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,800 she's beveling. So in short I customized the 267 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,680 designed as the gold African shiton thinking she will love 268 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,480 and appreciate the surprise. She never spoke a word about my 269 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:43,000 surprise which I got for him. As this goes by we had a video 270 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,440 call and I raised the topic of the design which I did for her. 271 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,640 She was like her friends are choppy lady so she prefers to 272 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,200 maintain the sexual blue. I was like listen to me for 273 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,200 once. She got upset and said to me we 274 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,440 will talk later and maybe goodnight and then she dropped 275 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,760 the call. It was very disrespectful to me 276 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:06,320 for hanging up the call on me. Then few after she hung up the 277 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,920 video call on me. She called me twice but I didn't 278 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,760 answer her call because I was really upset with her 279 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,520 disrespectfulness. 3 days later I tried to reach out to her but 280 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,560 she didn't answer my call and text. 281 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,840 So I decided to give a surprise visit at her residence. 282 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:26,520 I got some wine, chocolate and some cake and took it along with 283 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,840 me. When I got to her doorstep, I 284 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,320 met her kid brother and explained everything to her. 285 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,600 Lo and beholder brother said she's not even talking to him. 286 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:38,520 Then I knocked on her door and entered into her room. 287 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,240 She was on a call talking to another guy. 288 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,120 She was surprised to see me. She started acting bossing. 289 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,040 She then told the guy on the phone that she will call back 290 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,080 and the guy was like Are you sure you're going to call back? 291 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,560 She said yes. She sat down and gave me her 292 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,480 listening. Yeah she was like if I'm here to 293 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,520 talk about her or blue. She told them I can leave her 294 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,280 house. Why would I come to her house 295 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,160 without informing her? I was like what was my mistake? 296 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,480 The mistake was that she called me and I didn't answer her call. 297 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,680 That was all. She hasn't blocked but I decided 298 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:13,920 to unfollow her on Tiktok only and let her and left her 299 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,320 messenger and WhatsApp. My question is, is it wrong to 300 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:22,480 surprise a woman or give her an advice on an idea that about her 301 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,480 future? I actually bought the wine, 302 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,840 chocolate and cake as a gift to her in all that to see sorry and 303 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,240 probably talk things over but she wasn't ready for us to talk 304 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,960 things over calmly. She was being rude to me 305 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,480 thinking when I get there things would be smooth. 306 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,320 I left her with anger. I dropped a gift I bought for 307 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,800 her on her bed and left just after I left within 10 minutes 308 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:47,480 and she started streaming on live on TikTok. 309 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,640 Thank you man of gold POV for your time and attention. 310 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,560 I appreciate you. OK so this is what I basically 311 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,680 think of it. I basically think that somebody 312 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,440 that appreciate you and appreciate the things that 313 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,760 you've done for her will basically let me take off the 314 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,080 glasses. It's weird, yes. 315 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,680 I, I basically feel like somebody that appreciates you 316 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,360 and appreciates the things that you do for her will not think 317 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:16,760 about you coming there on knowingly first, but also think 318 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:21,520 about what you call it, why you want to come there to sort out 319 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,960 what had happened, to have a proper conversation about what 320 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,760 had gone on. I think I was talking to a 321 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,840 friend about something and then she was like. 322 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,920 It is not about even just having a conversation, cause to her she 323 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:34,960 feels like having a conversation. 324 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,960 It's just telling the person and moving on, but rather talking. 325 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,280 It's out to the person one-on-one, letting each other 326 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,800 know what you guys are thinking about the whole situation and 327 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,800 then come up with a, you know, solution together. 328 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,440 Right? And that would be more helpful 329 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,000 than anything. But then I also think that a 330 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:55,240 woman that actually loves you and cares about you will not 331 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,800 behave like she's behaving. She doesn't. 332 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,960 OK, She's probably just there for the things that she's going 333 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,840 to get from you. And from the look of things, it 334 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:09,560 feels like she was moving on. Like, yeah, Anyway, that's what 335 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,520 I think. Let's let the comment section 336 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,880 also see what they think about it. 337 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,480 So we move on to the next story. Don't I look like the lady from 338 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,760 scooby-doo? I keep forgetting her name. 339 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,680 My sister keeps telling me, but I keep forgetting her name. 340 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,360 That's. Why I love you. 341 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,040 POV Sorry I had to come into your DM this late. 342 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,760 I sent you a message two months ago telling you about my 343 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,960 confusion status on my decision to choose a well to do married 344 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,520 man and a single man. I decided to let's go the 345 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,200 married man to build a new relationship with a single man. 346 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:47,240 The married man has been begging me since to take him back, but I 347 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,040 was busy trying to make mine work. 348 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,960 For about two weeks now, close friends have been calling me. 349 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,840 He looked worried and troubled. I received a call last Sunday 350 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,840 that he has committed suicide. I feel guilty. 351 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,160 I think when you came to me about this issue, I told you 352 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,000 explicitly to let go of the married man, forget about him 353 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,720 and focus on building something for yourself and for your 354 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,880 future. I still stand by that. 355 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,520 I don't think you did anything wrong by leaving the married 356 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,840 man. A married man committing suicide 357 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,400 because of side chick are you talking about? 358 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,800 What are you talking about? You didn't think your wife was 359 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,160 the right person for you to marry and are you married here? 360 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,920 What? Girl, don't feel guilty and I 361 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,320 understand that you're a human being so your emotions are going 362 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,720 to take over and start feeling bad and think that you caused 363 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,840 him to kill himself. But baby girl, he is a married 364 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,560 man. You have no responsibility over 365 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,480 his head. His decision was his decision. 366 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,320 I understand that you're a human being and you're going to feel a 367 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,080 little bit of guilt, but I don't expect you to beat yourself, 368 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,760 right? I'm just even worried about 369 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,800 their wife and if they have kids their kids because a kind of a 370 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:59,600 is this. I'm a girl of 20 years old. 371 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,000 So there's this guy I'm dating. We started dating last year and 372 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,720 then later this year I found out that he is cheating on me with 373 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,400 different girls. But I really love this guy do I 374 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,800 caught him cheating. He asked me to forgive him which 375 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,400 I did but during that time back at my work please I met one guy 376 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,840 who said he likes me but wanted to help me. 377 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:24,120 At first I rejected his offer but with continuous request I 378 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,840 accepted. And this guy I'm talking about 379 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:31,640 here is Mario. So we started dating. 380 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,520 When Fast forward he will ask me to give him money for something 381 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,400 claiming he will give it back. Which I used to give him the 382 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,000 help. Which I used to give him the 383 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,480 help that he said he wanted to help me. 384 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,600 He didn't even say anything about it again. 385 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,520 But still I was still with him because I have grown to love him 386 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,640 and not because of what he will give. 387 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:57,200 One afternoon he called me telling me he's in need of an 388 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,720 amount of money like 3000 ganassitis which he promised to 389 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,200 give back to me having sex. During that time I decided to 390 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,720 help him. After giving him the money we 391 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,640 still cool with each other but it got to a point which I 392 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,800 realized he just wanted to be using and dumping me. 393 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,760 So I decided to take back my money. 394 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,720 I I borrowed him and after I will leave him for good because 395 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,040 I saw that I was just fooling myself. 396 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:25,360 I asked him to give me the money back which he refused telling me 397 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,680 if he gives me the money I'm going to leave him so he won't 398 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,720 give it to me but I also need the money for some business. 399 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:36,080 The next thing he said was if I agreed to meet him twice a week 400 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,280 then he can decide to give me the money. 401 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:43,440 On top of your own money? The hell is all this on top of 402 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,400 your own money? Kay? 403 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:50,560 Now you're being give, he's giving you what ultimatum on top 404 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:56,720 of your own money? AI also don't know how to get my 405 00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,360 money back but I was thinking of dealing with him spiritually for 406 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,640 all that he did to me. On the other hand, I want to 407 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,520 forgive and forget but whenever I think of it, it's always 408 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,880 painful. I don't really know what to do 409 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,360 please help. Share your idea with no insults, 410 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,960 please. A With no insults like I've been 411 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,440 insulting you. A OK now let me tell you 412 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,120 something baby girl, I think you added with no insult because you 413 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:24,640 know what is going on is not rational. 414 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,120 It doesn't make sense that you allow somebody to take your 415 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,040 money. First of all, you were dating a 416 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,840 single guy. The guy was cheating on you. 417 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:34,400 You decided to live in good for you. 418 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,640 I lied that for you. But to go date a married man 419 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,640 that was stupid that I'm going to insult you over that was that 420 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,400 was crazy to move from a single cheating man to a man cheating 421 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,840 on his wife. What's so different about that 422 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:53,000 now that's entertaino you are also the one taking care of this 423 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,880 married man that promised to even like help you and take care 424 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,920 of it. What what was going on in your 425 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:02,720 mind now giving my money to what has become a that he's the one 426 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,520 giving you what to meet him that meet him twice a week. 427 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,800 That's why he's a week is for what's having sex with you. 428 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,440 That's why he's a week is for what you giving your body to him 429 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:15,120 for your money back. What is it for now? 430 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,560 You want to deal with him spiritually? 431 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,120 That one day is to your discretion. 432 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,440 If you want to do that, I won't stop you. 433 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,960 I won't stop you. It's your discretion. 434 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,600 But what I'm going to tell you is that take your money back. 435 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,400 I don't know how you're going to take the money back. 436 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,280 I'm not going to sit here and approve. 437 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,160 Oh, yeah. Go and do spiritual things. 438 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,000 Oh, yeah. He deserves spiritual that one 439 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,200 day. I'm not going to approve it or 440 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,000 disapprove it. It's to your discretion. 441 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,160 Recently. Yeah. 442 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,080 I've got to tell myself this. Make decisions you can live 443 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:44,520 with. OK, Yeah, Make decisions you can 444 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,080 live with. I've come to the conclusion that 445 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,920 you can't always make the right decisions. 446 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,200 So make decisions that in the near future, when things starts 447 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,600 to boil down or when things starts to crack down, you can be 448 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,080 able to live with that decision. And so if it's spiritual where 449 00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,720 you want to go, make sure you can live with it. 450 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,320 If it's prayer, you want to pray on his head, pray on his head. 451 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,000 But before you pray on his head, I need you to ask for 452 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,920 forgiveness because what you did in the first case is is crazy. 453 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:13,800 Yeah, so the spiritual part there is to your discretion, my 454 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,000 love. Do as you wish. 455 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,640 OK? Yes. 456 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,280 And also to the comment section. Please give her your thoughts on 457 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,160 what you think she can do to get her money back or to this 458 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,800 married man. But baby girl, that was a silly 459 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,760 thing that you did right there 'cause Jam. 460 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,320 That's what's love you. That's love you. 461 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,520 Hi, I've been viewing your post for a while now and I want you 462 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,080 to help me. I fucked up or I messed up big 463 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,240 time and she does not want me again. 464 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:47,280 I had this military protocol on my lap and that I needed money 465 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:51,200 to pay and get the job so I had to take money from people I knew 466 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,360 they can help us for it After paying the money to the 467 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:58,840 government had been posting the dates of recruiting and I took 468 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,840 the money for my pressuring me to pay back their money to them 469 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:06,080 because they have been seeing me home lately and I had no option 470 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,800 at the time. By then my lady's father had 471 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,320 bought her a new laptop and she gave it to me to use and I sold 472 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,480 it to pay back the money I owned without informing her. 473 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,760 So she asked and I told her and and that is all. 474 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,760 She got bored about it and told her family what I did to him and 475 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,520 now the family is asking me to bring back their laptop else 476 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,080 they are going to arrest me instead. 477 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,960 My intention was after I'm done with training I will buy her the 478 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,040 same as hers and I also had plans for her. 479 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,000 Indeed. I really love this lady. 480 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,400 So that's what you did OK, That's what you did. 481 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,080 See, her father is coming to arrest you. 482 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,360 Do you know why I'm. I'm arguing with the arrest. 483 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,160 But the fact that you say I have plans for her. 484 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,760 I have plans for her, guys, let me tell you. 485 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:02,320 And this man can lie. God, you have plans for who? 486 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,520 That the lady pussy clean your mouth. 487 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,520 Like wipe your mouth. Because that thing where you are 488 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,600 with somebody and then when breakup comes or when something 489 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,360 happens and then yeah, no, you know, I had plans for you. 490 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,560 You left her the wrong time. You know, I had plans for you. 491 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,200 This is just by the side. Because in this case, you fucked 492 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,960 up real time, right? In real life, you fucked up. 493 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,760 But all I know is that if the parents arrest you, they have 494 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,000 due course. If the parents say, yeah, we 495 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,320 want to get your ass in prison, if you don't get a laptop back, 496 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,240 they have due course. I don't know how to advise you. 497 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,800 I don't know how to share my opinion over this because I 498 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,920 agree with the family and I agree with the girl especially 499 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,640 after you said I had plans for you. 500 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,360 Don't you didn't have any plans for here my dear? 501 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:46,680 You did not have any plans for here. 502 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:51,520 You, you literally duped here on top of everything maybe both in 503 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,800 the family and you now and beg and explain situation to them. 504 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:59,200 Maybe they will agree. The hell is all this a now 505 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,640 you're this Imran. See what what's what's what's 506 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,480 wrong with you people? What's what's what goes on in 507 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:04,840 your head? You're this young man. 508 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:14,920 Cause a how? Anyway, That's what she's 509 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,000 saying, Shah. She wants to arrest you. 510 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,160 Good for her. I'm not even seeing anything 511 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,520 wrong with what she's saying. Cry. 512 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,960 I don't see anything wrong with what she's saying. 513 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,040 Frankly speaking, I don't see anything wrong with what she's 514 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,680 saying. OK guys, thank you for watching 515 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,360 this episode. I'm going to end it. 516 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,520 I know it's not too long when it comes to the stories, but 517 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,720 forgive me, I will be coming with another episode next week 518 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,160 with more GC stories, with longer stories. 519 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,720 The story will be longer. I know. 520 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,760 And I'll see you in the next episode. 521 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,640 My name is Nanika Adeba, and hopefully at the end of this 522 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,360 episode, you know something about mental health. 523 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,840 You've learned a little about mental health. 524 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,920 Don't forget that. This episode is proudly 525 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,360 sponsored by Verna Jacob Water. Yes, you're part of the people 526 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,240 that sponsored this episode. They said it's mental health 527 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,200 awareness month. And so let's talk about mental 528 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,680 health. And I did that for you. 529 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,760 And then also I got a lot of snacks. 530 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,080 Oh my God, these people said let me spoil you because you are 531 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,320 busy talk about mental health and because mental health is 532 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,920 also important to you. And so thank you guys so much 533 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,120 for also bringing these products to me. 534 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,320 I appreciate it so much guys. It'd be nice to be so be nice to 535 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,960 them and then purchase their products. 536 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,600 Please follow them everywhere. Thank you very much for watching 537 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,880 this episode. I will see you in the next 538 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,880 episode, but please take care of yourself and take a break when 539 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,920 you need to because your mental health is important. 540 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,000 My name is Nanika Adipai and I'll see you in the next 541 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,840 episode. Bye.