Let's end all this I did. I talked about this whole period
thing in the threads that a man that cannot be close to your
woman during her period is not a man really.
And any man as a girl that will send you away because of your
period doesn't want to be with you.
Technically he's just with you because whenever you arrive for
sex, you guys can have the sex. Now give her a sound warning
that if she doesn't want to lose what both of you have, she will
delete those videos. If she doesn't want to lose the
relationship, she will lose contact with her ex.
Because I still don't understand why.
If you are not probably working with your ex when you guys need
to see each other, I don't know why you also keep conversations
with your ex. And we are live.
Yes, this is another episode of the POV.
My name is Anneke Adifa and welcome.
Have you subscribed? If you haven't, please do.
I will really appreciate if you do it now.
You guys are loving the guest episodes?
I've realized that you guys are loving the guest episodes.
So please keep tagging who you want to see here, your favorite
influencer, your favorite actor, whoever you want to see here to
have this conversation. Please tag so that we can
definitely reach out to them and see if they will come and sit
down and then talk to us about your stories.
Now today, I'm not going to do too much.
I'm going to do very, you know, demure sets of threads and then
go into the tales and confessions bits or let me just
say the dilemma bits of it. So let me get into the threads
that we have for this episode, this episode.
Hey, when I was reading the, what do you call it, the title
for the threads because I don't go into the threads.
That's the thing. I just read the title and then I
bookmark it on X. Now, when I was reading the
title, I was just shaking my head because the title said men
were asked strict boyfriend one O 1, strict boyfriend one O 1.
And people were giving like that.
Yeah, they are parenting their girlfriends.
Hey, OK, this one says male best tea is a very big no.
And I actually agree with this because in some cases it turns
out that the girl will be sleeping with the best tea or
probably be doing something with the best tea.
So, yeah, I recently saw him in where they said they said that
you're, you ask your boyfriend to get you food in the middle of
the night because you're hungry and tell you, no, it's raining.
But your best friend will be running, spreading in the water
in a way to come and give you food to eat.
And at the end of the day, they know that they are doing a
steady job and they will be able to get what they want in the
end. I mean, so, yeah, a very big
note to besties or male besties. I don't think is a, is a, is a
strict rule. I think it's supposed to be part
of, you know, life itself. Do you get it?
Your friends shouldn't know my business.
I'm your boyfriend and that's it to them.
Keep my life out of their mouth. Oh, oh, oh, that's crazy.
It's not like crazy bad, but it's crazy good to get in
because not everybody likes their business out there.
But sometimes to they know they're doing rubbish.
So when people go and say they're, you know, they're,
they're rubbish to friends, or when people tell their friends
about the rubbish your boyfriends are doing to them,
then you are getting offended, you are misbehaving.
You don't want us to talk about it.
They play. But at the end of the day, I
also think that respecting the boundaries of your partner is
also very, very important. So if your partner doesn't want
you talking about your, your, your relationship with your
friends, please abide. And I don't even think it's
really, you know, if you're not really seeking advice from
someone, you don't necessarily need to go talking about it like
you give me. Yeah, if you post it on
Instagram before I see it, don't send it afterwards.
This thing here let's let's talk about girls that are cute and
then they'll send pictures and videos of themselves at work at
an event, you know to their men and then two things.
In fact, three things will happen because I watched escape
three things can happen. The one that will not download
it, but we just see it. They do nice pictures.
They have not downloaded it too. But if centuries for nice
pictures, they are the ones that they will open it.
Look at it, I will not say anything to you.
And they are the ones that open it and be like, Oh my God,
you're kissing. You know, they're giving you
that energy for you to know that you're pure, like you're pretty,
you're beautiful, you know, the day is yours, make good of it.
You know, that kind of thing. But the idea of saying that
because I sent it to you, I shouldn't post it, OK, I mean, I
get it anyway because if it's mine, it's mine.
Don't. Don't give it to anybody else.
To add to that, another person said if you send it, if you send
it to me, you don't need to post it after.
OK, so the idea is that when you send me a picture, that picture
is not going anywhere on your socials because you sent it to
me. It's for me.
That's the idea. That's what I think.
Yeah. Weekends are for football and
related things. Stop annoying.
Stop being annoying. See, I'm all for you men
enjoying your football. I'm all for you men enjoying
your football season. Football this, football that.
But you do understand that we are also all busy, right?
Du during the week, we're going to work, we're going for events,
we're doing this, we're doing that.
So the time that sometimes we actually have to spend with you
is during the weekend. So if you're telling me that
because you're watching your football, I can't spend time
with you, then we actually are dating.
We are probably just existing but that being said, I
understand it. But for someone that loves
football like me, I'll probably sit down and watch with you.
So yeah, I'll probably talk about it.
I'll call you and ask you how far what's going on was one.
I'll not sit down and watch alone If I'm alone, I'll not
watch it. But if my boyfriend is watching
it, I'm interested in football so I'll sit down and watch with
him and probably talk about it with him.
Do you get it? Because I actually want to spend
time with him. Yeah.
One. Hey, this one day get sick.
So one make her not see you online.
After we share the grace and made each other good night or
beat each other good night. Dead body go surplus in the
morning. I'm your boyfriend and bestie.
Period. Before you post a picture, make
us see him first. What?
No, that one. Nah.
The hell are are you my anybody guards or what are you
protecting me from? Don't shake your bum online.
Make tender no fire. You OK talk to me daily?
Oh, this *** is a green flag. Talk to me daily.
Because I remember on my personal account I did a video
talking about how people are talking about whether it's
important to talk to your partner on a daily basis or in
your communication. I was supposed to happen daily
basis, intermittently, once a week, once a year, once a month.
And a lot of people are saying that hey, if you want your
boyfriend to be talking to you daily, then you are jobless.
Or if you want a partner to be talking to you daily, then you
are jobless. So for me to hear a man say that
I want to talk to you daily, it's good.
I'm not asking you to sit on the phone with me for one hour.
In fact, we sit on the phone with you for 10 minutes.
Sometimes it's even annoying. Do you get it?
If I'm able to see like it was not a distance relationship and
we are in the same city we see each other being on the phone
with you for 10 minutes. This isn't annoying for me.
I just want to know how you're doing what your day is looking
like. That's it.
And then maybe in the middle of the day, just shoot me a text.
Oh, babe, this this is a talk later.
Do you get sick? Yeah, so constant communication.
Perfect. And then the safe one is I love
you. Oh, this guy is giving grim
flag. This guy says don't jokingly
call me big head. Oh, but that's that's as you
said, it's a joke. So why are you making a first
out of it? Or are you OK?
Maybe. Well, it's your feelings.
Whatever you want. Don't put the things I do for
you on social media. I'm not here for your bragging,
right. I'm yet to make sure that you
are. All right.
Well, then you shouldn't date a content creator because whatever
you give to us, we'll go and put it out there.
Kavis. Yeah.
Not everything, actually, because I've gotten some things
and I've never really put them out there like that.
You get it? Whenever I'm dating.
And it's not everything that I put out there about my
relationship. Do you get it?
Yeah. Sometimes you may not even know
who I'm dating. Do you get it?
This one says I'm your boyfriend.
And this. Yeah.
I mean, we all know that. We all know that.
Don't ever visit me when you're menstruating.
Something is wrong with you. Something is wrong with you.
Your girlfriend is menstruating. You're telling her not to come
close to you when she's menstruating.
That thing. Oh God, are you OK?
What the hell? When your fellow gender some of
them are doing hits What you hitting part?
Preparing menstruation packages? Doing pampering, buying them
chocolate, food, ice cream, comfort food, things to make
them feel comfortable. In that time you're telling her
not to come close to him. What kind of man are you?
Dear hell, is this your girlfriend or it's your sex
buddy? Because what I'm hearing from
this is that until she's ripped to have sex, she didn't come
close to him. So this one is not a girlfriend.
This one is not a boyfriend material.
My girls out there, this *** when you see him, have you heard
that thing? Run away, run my sister, run
because this is Red Banner, red carpets.
That is what it is. They're hell.
I'm going to end the first section here because this thing
is running me up. So I'll end the thread section
and then I'll go into the Tales and Confessions bit of the
episode. Now let's get into the first
story. Today I'm going to be relaxing
to read the stories. I'm not going to pick the laptop
and put them up. Let's read it from here.
This one says hello POV good afternoon there's this guy I'm
dating now for the past two months, getting to three months
now and we started dating. We were cool, everything was
going on. Well, I met him at where I'm
working now. So one day my company organized
an outing for all the workers. This guy forced me to go 'cause
he didn't want to feel alone. So I went and we got there.
I saw that the guy I'm dating now is chatting with another
girl. By the way, they were standing
and talking and hugging each other.
I didn't like it. I approached him and asked him
and he said they are just friends.
I didn't talk again. Since that time I have been
seeing them in a way I don't like.
Another time I went to visit him in his house, I saw that he has
used another girl's picture as his wallpaper.
I asked him and he said they are just friends now.
We have stopped calling and texting and when I asked him he
claims he is busy all day. Please tell me what to do.
Don't call him again. I don't know.
But I'm learning something, OK? I am the type of person that
when I like somebody, I don't hide it, OK?
I get excited. And you, the man, you will know.
I'm happy anytime I see you. I'm happy to see you, right?
And I have learned since the hard way that when a man sees
that a girl is too available for him, he doesn't like it.
I was recently also listening to Love Clinic and it's it's done
by the Alpha Hour Pasta. Yes.
I've been listening to Love Clinic a lot these days.
And he also said the same thing in one of the episodes.
You can't go on any of the Apple podcast cases and plug in your
key and, well, listen to Love Clinic and you will get a lot of
insightful information there. OK, Yeah.
So basically he mentioned that when a man sees that a woman is
too available, he starts to misbehave.
He misbehaves, so pull back and if he wants you, he will come
for you. I know you spent your three
months with him and everything. Now please pull back, OK?
Because some of us have learned the hard way once more than
once, not more than twice hard way, that when we like people
and they know we like them, they misbehave.
So please pull back. Don't call him again.
Leave your life, go to work, don't talk to him.
In fact, if you're going to talk to me about work, like if you
understand department with him and you need to ask him about
work, go to him and ask him about it.
Conversate with him like a normal colleague.
Don't go and do boyfriend or girlfriend.
You said no, don't mind him, he's not worth it.
When he comes back and you think about it and you feel like you
want to be with me again, and looking at it, I don't think you
should be with me again because Amanda doesn't value you enough
to be in a compromised position with another woman.
Uses another woman as ADP or being wallpaper.
Boy, forget it. Okay, girl, forget it.
We're back. All right?
Yeah, I'm a guy of 23 years who's currently dating a girl
who is 21. I really love this girl but I
feel like I'm in a competition with her recent ex.
I see her talking to her ex at her shop most of the time which
I'm less bothered about but she also has their old videos
together. The last time I asked her to
delete them because it appears to me as if I'm some sort of
healing pushing for her for the period and it's her first time
since we began dating. Which again I took her out to
get some meal and drinks. We got home and then she ate.
We spoke and she told me that she likes me.
I had to say why and she said her ex never regarded her as a
partner whenever she's on her period and here I am pampering
her and all that. I later asked her to give me her
phone so I go to her gallery only to find out that those
videos were still on it. I just switched her phone back
to where she asked me what was wrong, which I told her not to
be agitated. I'm poor apparently.
She told me that the reason she can't delete those videos is
that the guy only appeared in there for some short time while
she was recording herself, but it turned out to be otherwise.
I really love this girl and I want to build a lifey day.
Last time we almost broke up just because I asked her for the
videos to keep the relationship alive.
I'm not a blue guy to, although I know money is less vital in
things to hold a lady down with what I've got.
I've got other qualities too, but at this point I need your
aid at this point as well. Tautology.
But my dear, give her a sound warning.
OK, let's I know this, I did. I talked about this whole period
thing in the threads that a man that cannot be close to your
woman during her period is not a man really.
And any man as a girl that will send you away because of your
period doesn't want to be with you.
Technically he's just with you because whenever you arrive for
sex, you guys can have the sex. So she's seen red flags as still
being there makes her a problem. Now give her a sound warning
that if she doesn't want to lose what both of you have, she will
delete those videos. If she doesn't want to lose the
relationship, she will lose contact with her ex.
Because I still don't understand why if you are not probably
working with your ex when you guys need to see each other, I
don't know why you supposed to keep conversations with your ex.
So I don't know why this girl is hanging around that so-called ex
of this. If she is not going to respect
you enough as a boyfriend to let go of that dude, let's go of her
because she's not worth it period.
That's lovely. That's lovely.
Hi POV. I love you and I love you too
baby. I love you too.
I I like this. I hope nobody has gets you.
I love. Please give me anonymous.
I'm a 24 year old girl. I met my boyfriend when I got
admission into the university. Was everything I prayed for to
God in a man and still the problem is I'm done with school
and getting ready for my NYSE and this guy is not saying
anything about marriage. Mind you my parents are late.
My mom and him were cool before she passed on.
Both families know each other but for some reasons she's not
ready for marriage. Sometimes I feel maybe it's
because he's not financially stable as he used to be.
Sometimes I feel I am the one with the issues and he doesn't
just want to marry me and after seven years of relationship he
may be wasting my time. I don't know if I should move on
before it gets to help me. And you'll not be able to
handle. Please I need your advice.
Thank you very much. Oh my girl, I love you.
OK, but 24 I need you to understand this.
I get it. And I when I turned 25 my family
started doing it the whole time. We are soon like your time is
almost there, you know? But this is the thing, age
cannot define marriage. The only thing I see as a
problem here is your fear of it's being a waste of time
because it's already 7 years. OK, now the best you can do for
yourself, don't up and leave is to sit down and have a
conversation with him. Don't go and do.
When are you? When are you marrying me?
When are we making it? Like why have you not got to ask
for my hand in marriage? Why have not proposed?
No, don't go doing that. Have a decent conversation with
him and let him know that. Listen baby, I've spent
something good years with you and I have just completed
school. I know things are not like it
used to be, but do you think that we can come to a compromise
and then start thinking of settling down now?
His answers to those questions will give you the clue you need,
whether he's truly, truly wasting your time or actually
wants to marry you in the end. But notes this guy can be
manipulated and manipulate you to think that he's going to
marry you. You need to be very smart in
this situation at this moment. You need to put your girl
investigative, you know, smart thinking mind up swishing,
right? And then have a conversation
with him and read through the conversation or read through
that what things are coming from his mouth.
They read through it. Don't just listen to what he's
saying or don't just listen to him saying, oh, there, don't
worry, the right time will come home.
Let him give you a detailed explanation of what he means by
the right time because everybody has plans.
You are 24. I don't know his age.
Did you put his age here? So maybe he's probably in his
20s and he thinks, oh, I want to get married in my 30s.
He has his own plan and you have your own plans.
And so you need to ask him about his plans for the future.
And then here, telling you about the plans for the future can
give you a hint whether you guys are going to end up settling
down or this is just a bunch of time wasted.
All right, Anyway, I wish you well, OK?
You'll be fine. Please give me anonymous.
I'm a 20 year old lady. I have been dating this guy for
the past nine months. He treats me based on his mood
yet flirts with other girls that doesn't want me to even talk to
any other guy. I love him so much that I can't
stop loving him but knowing he's hurting me Because when he's
doing something and you tell him he gets pissed off.
Please advise him run away. See, there are some things that
are clear and cut that if you sit down there and follow your
feelings and stay with that person, you will end up in a
psychiatric hospital. It will take your sanity away.
Do not allow any relationship take your sanity away because
the second it starts to mean that you lose yourself and
that's it. That's it until you hit your
rock bottom and then you realize that I and that one cry will
take something. A man that will not treat you
right and treat you based on his mood.
The hell? Because this is what I believe.
Even when things are not well in a relationship, we can still
communicate that we can still do things that we do for each
other. So for example, I have a
boyfriend and then we fight. Then me that I know will not say
because we fought. If I need to cook for you, I
won't cook for you. Or if I need to go somewhere
with you, I'll go with you. Listen, the truth is, I will go
with you. And even when we are outside, be
clingy around you, in fact, even in the house and communicate and
everything. Because you know what, I'm not
going to hide how I feel about that thing should die.
If you are going to shout at me, push me away, misbehave around
me because you are in a bad mood, what kind of man are you?
Because even me as a woman that's in this world, we claim
or we say that women are emotional.
Even me as a woman, I am not allowing my mood to determine
how I communicate with you. I love.
Why are you doing it as a man? I remember this Nigerian poet,
She's a as a man. As a man, why are you doing
this? She's on Tectography.
What's her name? I say man.
Yeah, Yeah.
So don't allow that to happen to you.
Don't tolerate it. Don't take it.
Speak about it. And if he misbehaves, it's a
lot. Just just just think about
yourself. Think about the future.
You'll be able to deal with this for the rest of your life.
Because the truth is, for life is for life.
I know divorce is becoming a thing these days, but let's also
look at this from the point where for life is for life.
So the only time you can up and live like that is when you are
dating the person. But when you finally end up
marrying the person, you don't have anywhere to go because when
you you divorce, it's crazy. There's there's stigma, the old
divorce stigma in this continent.
So if we're a divorced woman to get someone to marry you and in
these days it's it's not as it used to be.
Someone can divorce this year, marry next year, but still
stigmatization. People will still say, hey, you
just left your marriage and you invented another one.
Like do you get it? So my dear, pros and cons, OK.
And make your decisions based on those pros and cons, right?
Yeah, let's love it. Let's love it.
Hi POV, what advice would you give me as a two years stay home
SHS graduate who was passionate about going to medical school?
I have good grades but seems right now in Ghana your merits
alone aren't enough for you to go up higher.
I'm so broken and don't know what else I would love to.
I just want to know anything else I would love to do as in
the UNI programs. It's so heartbreaking to see
you're working so hard to achieve something you love, but
it seems you might not get it and would have to settle for
something else you're not interested in.
Oh I'm sad, I'm fucking sad. Because you see how the system
we have in this country destroying lives, destroying
dreams, breaking people because you need to pay bribe to get to
certain places? Because you need to know
somebody to get to certain places.
You see how sad and bad it is? Hmm.
My dear, I know someone right that wanted to go to medical
school. I wanted to do medicine.
Very intelligent guy, very smart guy, right and his was a matter
of I think he got AB in one of their courses and they were like
Nah, don't take him. He wanted a straight A's thingy
at the time. I checked a car like those olden
times not to do that. You can use whatever you want to
go there if you have the connections.
But he, he didn't do medicine. But then he, I think he did
something around pharmacy and then is working in an insurance
company as those people that check people's diagnosis before
the, you know, those insurance people release their money and
all these things. I don't know the name of the
profession, but that is what that person did is close to
medicine. I think when we used to talk a
lot and he was telling me about. So I realized that he was still
excited about diagnosing people and solving issues in the
medical field. And this job is giving him the
opportunity to, you know, go through not like the major parts
of it, but a little bit of it. And he's still enjoying his
life. So I think you should do some
research and then see what's around medicine that you can do,
You understand? Yeah.
So he didn't go to medical school.
He went to the university. They studied a program around
that, I think. Was it pharmacy?
I don't know what he studied, but he said he he studied some.
He didn't do medicine, but what he studied was close to, you
know, medicine that got him into the insurance and you know where
he is now. So yeah, I think that's what you
need to do. You need to sit down and do
research and then try and also find another passion because you
know you can't always find passion somewhere.
So try and find another passion and see where that can lead you.
But I am going to say that I am sorry that the system is doing
this to you. OK, Yeah, that's why I've been
in a relationship with a woman for two years.
We've been in love and have shared many things together.
However, before we even reached the one year mark, she cheated
on me with an old classmate. I'm sorry.
When I confronted her, she claimed it was a mistake.
She told me that the guy gave her alcohol, took her to a
nearby motel and things escalated from there.
So she was raped. Is that it?
If she if the guy gave her alcohol and then she was drunk
and couldn't consent, was it? Was she raped?
Is that it? That's crazy.
So I'm going to have a conversation with someone
behind. OK.
It's a guy. You think it's not rape?
Come close. Let me hear you.
I don't think it's. You don't think it's real.
What do you think it is? Me just trying to make up
stories to prove that. So he's saying that maybe you
may not hear what he's saying, but he's saying that maybe the
girl is trying to make up stories to victimize herself
musically, Right? Yeah, so let's continue.
It was incredibly difficult for me to forgive her, but I
eventually did. What had the most was her lie
like alcohol and had never drunk it before.
She did mention once that she was curious about trying alcohol
and advise her about the risk, especially if I wasn't with an
AI. Even assured her that if she
wanted to try drinking she could do it with me around and I would
make sure she's safe. OK OK, she had an option and she
decided to choose what she wants to choose.
OK, I promised not to take advantage of her whilst she was
under the influence because I knew she wouldn't be in the
right state of mind. She agreed to this.
So how could she go out with her friend, drink alcohol and then
tell me it was a mistake? I think you are actually a very
self aware person for you to break it down like this for
yourself. Well done, well done.
You're so far away. This has been bothering me ever
since and I don't think I'll ever get over it unless you
break up completely. Honestly the pain just lingers.
Fast forward, we are still in a relationship but she hasn't
visited me in seven months. After those seven months she
stopped calling and texting me and I did same.
I could sense that she had probably found someone else.
She's the type who likes giving her number to other guys, so I
knew something was off. So I kept my composure.
But before those seven months of not seeing her, I remembered she
told me that her mother had been advising her not to be foolish
by coming to see me. Her mother believed that it was
my duty as a guy to visit her, not the other way around.
I was taking her back. How could I be visiting her with
her mother around? It's something that could happen
once in a while, but not regularly.
So I wasn't surprised when she stopped Sandy.
I think she finally agreed with her mother, but she didn't tell
me. We don't both be online, but
neither of us will be chatting each other.
As a guy, I'm OK with him, but I like your opinion on whether I
should text her and end things for good.
I want to tell her that we're done and that I can't be with
her anymore. She should live her life with
her mother and family while I'm back on my journey and focus on
building myself. I kept a secret from her mother
which is that her daughter slept with another guy besides me
while playing with her daughter's feelings, so the
trust isn't there. Her mother also thinks that I
should be taking care of her daughter's means when she
believes I'm not doing giving all of this, where do I stand?
So you see I was talking to someone behind the camera when I
was in the beginning. The person said don't text
there, but I disagree. This is why I disagree.
I'm a woman. When she goes and she hits her
head, she will remember that she has somebody and come back.
And then when when you try to say that about we are over, she
told you about we didn't break up.
So why not cut things off right? And then don't even chat here
like you are chatting here. You need a response.
No, send a message. I don't think this is working
anymore. We've been separated for the
past seven months. As soon we are done, don't wait
for her opinion. Don't wait for her opinion.
You are done. So when she comes back, you can
just refer. And in fact, when you finish
blocking, because this one, hey, uselessness, I've never seen
some before. I've never seen some before.
The mother of asking you to take care of her, Did you give that
to her? You see, I'm awful men, you
know, being nice to your girlfriends, gifting them,
taking them out and all that. I'm all for that.
I love that. Me, me.
I like pampering. But when you get entitled about
it, that is where I get issues because you the mother that you
want to open your leg and push their out if you can't take care
of it. A man that has not come to ask
for her hand in marriage, you want the man to take care of all
her needs. Is she not working?
How old is she? How old is this girl?
Do you add age? No you didn't.
But in the end you are not the mother so you can't take all the
responsibilities on top of it. The mother is expecting you to
take full responsibility for a cheat.
It's not even like the girl is correct too.
She's also a cheat, my dear. Forget to forget to forget it.
Forget it, forget it. OK?
So just shoot a text and unblock her and move on, OK?
Thank you very much for watching.
Thank you very much for subscribing.
Thank you very much for sharing. I mean, I love you guys.
Subscribe, like and then share. OK.
And as I said, if you have run out there and I said this
before, whether small business or big business or a large, you
know, enterprise and you want to advertise, the POV is open to
collaborating with you. Small amounts, small amounts,
they'll work together. OK, let's build your business
for you. I'll see you in the next
episode. Bye.