1
00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:06,200
One thing as a young person you 
would do right to harm yourself 

2
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:11,080
is to have a relationship that 
is only based on sex. 

3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:15,000
What makes you think that your 
boyfriend will marry you? 

4
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:22,560
What makes you think? 
Sometimes, yeah, our parents 

5
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,800
look so much into what happened 
behind that they don't see 

6
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,760
what's ahead. 
They are a lot of the time 

7
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,600
speaking out of fear of what 
would come out of, you know, 

8
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:37,000
someone with such a background. 
And it's understandable because 

9
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,760
it is what makes them a good 
parent. 

10
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:47,920
Now you as the child, knowing 
very well what you want, you can

11
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:54,560
find a way to get your parents, 
especially, as you said, your 

12
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,400
mother, to turn her heart 
around. 

13
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:10,560
How do you do this? 
If they posted it on social 

14
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:15,320
media, if they posted it on 
social media, if they posted it 

15
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:18,560
on social media, then they made 
it our business. 

16
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,760
And since they made it our 
business, we're gonna make it 

17
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,520
our business. 
Let's get into the stories. 

18
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:32,320
Dear Ikia, I'm a 24 year old 
schooling at Kamenkoma 

19
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,600
University of Science and 
Technology. 

20
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,680
I'm in my third year now. 
I've been dating this girl for 

21
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,040
two years now. 
After our long vacation, I went 

22
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:45,080
home and I felt sick and invited
her one Sunday afternoon to come

23
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,640
and visit me. 
She came. 

24
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,360
Well, all my family are there. 
One week later she came to visit

25
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,080
me again while my family are 
there again. 

26
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,400
After she left in the evening my
mom approached me in my room and

27
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,480
asked me who the girl is to me 
and I told her she's just a 

28
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,080
friend to me and she asked me 
again. 

29
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:09,000
I said she's a friend to me and 
my mom started that if I have 

30
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,640
something to do with her we 
should break up because she 

31
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,800
don't want me to be with her 
even as a friend. 

32
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,920
I asked her why she said because
of the girl's family background.

33
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:26,400
She started narrating the girl's
family history to me and her 

34
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,600
last words says she don't want 
to see me around here again. 

35
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,520
OK I really love that girl. 
She's a cool and calm person to 

36
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,000
be with. 
She has the quality I want for 

37
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,720
my girl. 
She even sent me money without 

38
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:46,920
asking her when I was on campus 
and always gifted me with a lot 

39
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,360
of things. 
She really loves me. 

40
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,600
I don't want to break up with 
her because of my mother and I 

41
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,680
don't want to disappoint my 
mother either. 

42
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,760
Please help me out because I 
don't know what to do now. 

43
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:09,040
OK I'm going to take it from 
this perspective and forgive me 

44
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:16,280
if you don't get it. 
With all honesty I believe in 

45
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,520
obey your parents in the Lord 
for this is right. 

46
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,680
Honor your mother and father. 
I believe that a child needs to 

47
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,400
respect what comes out of their 
parents mouth. 

48
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:37,840
But I also believe in the fact 
that sometimes, sometimes, yeah,

49
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,960
our parents look so much into 
what happened behind that they 

50
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,360
don't see what's ahead. 
They are a lot of the time 

51
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,200
speaking out of fear of what 
would come out of, you know, 

52
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,600
someone with such a background. 
And it's understandable because 

53
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,360
it is what makes them a good 
parent. 

54
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:06,480
Now, you as the child, knowing 
very well what you want, you can

55
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:13,160
find a way to get your parents, 
especially as you said, your 

56
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,000
mother, to turn her heart 
around. 

57
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:26,600
How do you do this? 
By talking to her about her and 

58
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,720
letting her understand what 
you're telling me now about how 

59
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,920
good she is and everything. 
I don't know what exactly her 

60
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:41,280
background is, but understand 
that you need to convince your 

61
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,000
mother. 
You don't need to disrespect her

62
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,800
nor do you need to leave the 
girl immediately, but speak to 

63
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,760
your mother. 
Like sit her down. 

64
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:55,280
If you ask her and she's saying 
that she wouldn't tell you, pray

65
00:04:55,280 --> 00:05:00,960
for God to touch her heart to at
least explain things to you. 

66
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,920
But you don't outright through. 
You know her way away like that.

67
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,240
And don't outright also throw 
the girl away. 

68
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:14,680
You need to pray about it. 
You need to ask God what He 

69
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,400
wants really 'cause you really 
don't know where your mother's 

70
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,120
mind is in term. 
In fact, I, I think I know, and 

71
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,840
that is fear of whatever she 
thinks is happening that's 

72
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:27,880
happening here. 
But I also believe that there's 

73
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:32,240
a God that can turn things 
around for people. 

74
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,840
And I'm hoping that this girl 
knows the drama in her family 

75
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:44,040
and is a Christian enough to 
pray about it so she doesn't 

76
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,360
miss something good for her 
because of that. 

77
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:53,040
And I think you need to engage 
the girl, speak to her, hear her

78
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,520
out, and hopefully she's a 
Christian and you tell her to 

79
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,120
work on it and work on herself. 
Do you get it? 

80
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:05,080
That's love it. 
That's love it. 

81
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,280
Dear Ikia, I don't even know 
where to start from, but keep me

82
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,560
anonymous. 
So I met a very beautiful girl 

83
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:17,960
in school nursing training which
I fell deeply in love with and 

84
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,920
still I am. 
But The thing is, last semester 

85
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,520
I read some messages on her 
phone which got me perplexed. 

86
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:30,080
I confronted her and we settled 
it and our love life continues. 

87
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,080
I don't know what came over me. 
Again I hacked her phone. 

88
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:39,120
I know my way around such things
when it comes to hacking and as 

89
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,160
I'm typing I'm filled with 
tears. 

90
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,080
Charlie this girl has about 5 
boyfriends that she tells them 

91
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,800
that she loves them. 
Students nurses do practicals 

92
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,440
whenever they vacate so like 5 
days to the clinicals. 

93
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,800
This girl went to one of the 
boys which she claims to be his 

94
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:02,760
brother and he had sex after she
texted me that she loves me and 

95
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:07,880
she can't do without me. 
Just today a guy proposed to her

96
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:14,560
and she accepted so now we are 
serving way back in. 

97
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,880
I remember giving my contact to 
some of the girls who needed 

98
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:22,360
help with the academics and this
girl got angry that I am the 

99
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:26,440
only person who can help them so
I blocked them because this babe

100
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:31,320
doesn't like that. 
Right now I need advice, should 

101
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,920
I confront her that I know what 
she's doing or I should keep 

102
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,080
pretending that I haven't seen 
anything? 

103
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,280
Fear women and live long, my 
brothers. 

104
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:51,720
That part is funny. 
I mean, I don't want to call it 

105
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,880
confronting. 
I want to call it getting 

106
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:58,600
clarity or getting 
clarifications because you 

107
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,560
really have evidence of what 
she's doing. 

108
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,080
You really know what she's 
doing. 

109
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,160
So it's not like I'm confronting
to see the truth because you 

110
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,760
already know the truth. 
So it's like I'm telling you, 

111
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:16,400
this is what you're doing and it
makes you a terrible, terrible, 

112
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,360
terrible person. 
Do you understand? 

113
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,400
That's that's where I think you 
need to take it from. 

114
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,360
Not that. 
Is it true that you're cheating 

115
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,080
on me? 
No. 

116
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,440
Is it true that we are serving a
number? 

117
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,280
No. 
That's not what you're doing. 

118
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,559
Doing that is trying to give her
the chance to lie to you again. 

119
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:44,840
So now that you know, Sir, leave
that terrible woman alone. 

120
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:54,520
And I need to clarify something.
Human beings can be bad, whether

121
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:59,240
man or woman, OK? 
So if there's anything you need 

122
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,800
to see here in this world and 
you need to be careful about, 

123
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,880
it's a human being problem, not 
a man or a woman. 

124
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,160
That girl is a terrible human 
being. 

125
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,080
Yes. 
Why not? 

126
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:19,760
Every woman is like that. 
Yeah. 

127
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,000
Yeah. 
Just like there's this terrible 

128
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,080
woman, right? 
There are terrible men out there

129
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,400
doing terrible things to good 
women. 

130
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:39,200
So it wouldn't be fair that you 
will shout fear women when men 

131
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,600
are also messing up with women 
too. 

132
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,960
I mean, that's just something 
that I think that we need to sit

133
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,280
down and think about. 
And we are sending this directly

134
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,760
to the girl that did that to 
you. 

135
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,800
She's a terrible woman, terrible
girl. 

136
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,320
And she should consider like 
that. 

137
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,520
You think sleeping with seven 
men at a go, you think you're 

138
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,600
doing me or you're doing the 
guys? 

139
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:08,200
No, you're doing yourself. 
You're doing yourself OK. 

140
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,320
It's not me. 
STD's things. 

141
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,840
You see, it is terrible for a 
man to be sleeping with multiple

142
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:16,960
women. 
It is terrible. 

143
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,320
It is not a flex, but it is more
terrible when a woman does it. 

144
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:27,240
Ah, nasty. 
Seven men got a go. 

145
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:33,520
Nobody's a St. 
But this is crazy, my dear. 

146
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:42,360
Tell her and leave her asks. 
This one dear, let me share my 

147
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:46,480
story with you a bit. 
Akia hide or cover my name or my

148
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,360
Pete emoji. 
So I've been single for a very 

149
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:53,600
long time like 4 years and I've 
never engaged in any sexual 

150
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:57,760
relationship with anyone even do
I sometimes get the privilege of

151
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,320
doing that with some ladies. 
I've declined a lot of those 

152
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,360
friends with benefits thing 
'cause I believe if I've got no 

153
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,320
mutual interest or relationship 
with you, then I can't have sex 

154
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,920
with you no matter how bad I 
wanna have sex. 

155
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:17,040
I've trained myself to control 
my body very well so I'm very 

156
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:21,640
good not having sex. 
Fast forward, my best friend who

157
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,280
is a very pretty beautiful lady 
was also going through the same 

158
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:30,480
thing but hers was a bit 
different course and she had a 

159
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:35,880
boyfriend but not in the country
and we talk and vibe more so she

160
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,040
she suggested we should be 
meeting up more often. 

161
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:44,720
She's smart, beautiful and 
pretty I won't lie about that. 

162
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,440
I told her one time that I 
wanted to tell her some secret 

163
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,040
'cause it's been eating me up 
for a very long time. 

164
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,920
I told her I feel I've developed
some kind of feelings which is 

165
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,280
love for her so I don't know 
what to do. 

166
00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,160
She said I know too much about 
her so I can't be in a 

167
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,800
relationship with her but she 
was just but she would just be a

168
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,760
friends with benefits and 
moreover she needs sex so bad. 

169
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,720
I didn't want to lose my best 
friend. 

170
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,960
So I give in and we've been 
having sex since then. 

171
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:19,040
She enjoys it 'cause I give in 
all when we're having sex 'cause

172
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,400
I always feel like she's my 
girlfriend so I have to satisfy 

173
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:27,000
her to that level. 
Recently I met a lady through a 

174
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,280
friend and it's like we've 
started dating and this 

175
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,760
particular lady said no sex 
until marriage. 

176
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,800
It's not the sex I'm worried 
about too but what if she gives 

177
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,240
it to another person and she's 
just being that with me And 

178
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,720
cause of that I've stopped my 
best friend from coming to my 

179
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,720
place. 
What do I do now 'cause the 

180
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:54,400
daily I love said no sex till 
marriage and my best friend said

181
00:12:54,400 --> 00:13:00,800
sex but no relationship. 
How old are you? 

182
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:06,400
You didn't put your age there. 
But for me, I believe in having 

183
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:12,400
meaningful relationships. 
One thing as a young person you 

184
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:18,200
would do right to harm yourself 
is to have a relationship that 

185
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:25,760
is only based on sex. 
You harm yourself not just for 

186
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,920
the person that you end up 
marrying or being with on a long

187
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:34,880
term, but also yourself. 
I would suggest that you let go 

188
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,840
of your friends with benefit 
with your best friend, have a 

189
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,720
conversation with her and end 
it. 

190
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:47,800
And if you believe right that 
God has ways of opening doors 

191
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,040
for you when you're not sexually
active. 

192
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:59,200
If you believe, stick with your 
girl and just hope and pray that

193
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,360
she's being real with you. 
Or maybe watch her to also see 

194
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,160
if she's being real with you. 
She has a reason for saying no 

195
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,680
sex till marriage. 
Have you asked her? 

196
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:13,080
Maybe have a conversation with 
her and see OK if she's a good 

197
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:19,600
girl and she knows why she's 
doing it she won't sleep with 

198
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,760
anyone. 
Just trust that at least they 

199
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,560
are still good girls in the 
sister. 

200
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,720
OK well the friends who benefit 
is not advisable at all. 

201
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,360
I I liked you from the beginning
when he said you were not 

202
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:36,400
engaging in all those things. 
But I also understand that you 

203
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,960
had feelings for your best 
friend and you were hoping it 

204
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,000
all bloom or blossom into 
something. 

205
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,360
But she's for someone else. 
She's dating someone else. 

206
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:49,880
If she was willing to leave her 
boyfriend for you, then that's 

207
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,080
fair. 
You could say that. 

208
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:56,480
OK, Then you would even get what
she wants from the your your 

209
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,640
bestie. 
So then why they need to stay in

210
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,600
a sexless relationship? 
But I don't know. 

211
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,000
For some reason, I'm feeling 
like I should tell you that. 

212
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:10,240
Be in a sexless relationship and
it can help you in a long way. 

213
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:14,640
OK. 
That's why we that's why we 

214
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,320
dear. 
It can keep me anonymous. 

215
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,640
I'm in level 300 going to 400 in
one of the best universities in 

216
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,560
Ghana. 
I have dated my guy for a year 

217
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,120
and during my first semester of 
third year I met a taxi driver 

218
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,080
who wanted me badly but during 
that period I had 

219
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,320
misunderstanding with my 
boyfriend so he became very 

220
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,720
close. 
Fast forward I told him no sex 

221
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,120
for some time and he agreed. 
I won't lie, he was very good 

222
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:45,440
but from his conversations all 
he wants to do is either travel 

223
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:50,800
and return to marry me in three 
or four years or even more and 

224
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,040
moreover, he introduced me to 
everyone as his serious 

225
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,520
girlfriend which he knows I have
a boyfriend IKEA. 

226
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,640
My dream is to become a career 
woman if God is willing. 

227
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,400
So I later told him I'm not 
interested in this relationship 

228
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,760
anymore but since we are friends
before, we can maintain that so 

229
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,920
that I can settle with my 
boyfriend IKEA. 

230
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,160
After this agreement he never 
called to check up or anything 

231
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,960
so I also gave him some same 
energy and Lita deleted his 

232
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,160
number because that will help me
not to try to call him. 

233
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:26,360
Not long ago he called me to 
check up on me after some months

234
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,240
but I didn't recognize his 
number so he asked me whether I 

235
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,680
have deleted the number and 
obviously I have. 

236
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:38,040
So please should I keep his 
number or delete it as I did so 

237
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:42,000
that I will ignore his existence
because the truth is I need 

238
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,440
nothing from him because by 
God's grace I'm a last born 

239
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,040
enjoying my mother and elder 
siblings money. 

240
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,240
So I need a little push up 
advice. 

241
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,040
What do you seek in a 
relationship? 

242
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,040
Your issues with him is just 
about the travelling. 

243
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,920
You think when he travels things
will spoil? 

244
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:09,119
Is that it? 
I mean, maybe this is not the 

245
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:13,560
kind of opinion you're looking 
for, but what do you mean by you

246
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:19,079
want to be a career woman? 
What has that got to do with him

247
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,839
marrying you two or three years 
later? 

248
00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:31,400
It's either you like him or not 
'cause you really didn't say 

249
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:35,960
anything about your boyfriend. 
How is that relationship? 

250
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,760
Is he treating you well? 
What is going on? 

251
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,800
Why? 
You had a misunderstanding with 

252
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,120
your boyfriend and you moved on 
immediately and the next person 

253
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:51,560
you moved on with seems serious.
The fact that you had that 

254
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,680
misunderstanding with him and 
the first thing that came into 

255
00:17:54,680 --> 00:18:00,440
your mind is let me move on 
makes me think you really didn't

256
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,880
love your boyfriend much, but 
then you didn't really also love

257
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,560
the taxi driver because of the 
travelling. 

258
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,000
I need to understand you because
I feel like you yourself, you've

259
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,600
not, You need to sit down and 
breathe and know what exactly 

260
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:20,520
you're looking for so that when 
you get it and it feels shaky, 

261
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,440
you don't just jump to another 
ship. 

262
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,160
You need to rethink your 
decisions. 

263
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,880
Look at some things. 
Well alright. 

264
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,680
What makes you think that your 
boyfriend will marry you? 

265
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,800
What makes you think that's 
lovely? 

266
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,400
That's lovely dear. 
OK. 

267
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,720
I feel betrayed and 
disappointed. 

268
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:46,040
I've been friends with this girl
for almost 2 years. 

269
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:51,000
We do stuff but not sex. 
I've seen her nakedness through 

270
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,880
romance but insisting having sex
with her because it might turn 

271
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:58,640
the love I have for her down. 
We talk every night and day. 

272
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,560
Fast forward, she likes drawing 
which she's not really good at 

273
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,040
but more room for improvement. 
So I introduce her to my area 

274
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:11,560
friend to teach her at work. 
Now I have been a victim all day

275
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,200
and time drawing. 
If not drawing, talking to 

276
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,320
someone else at 9:00 to 11:00 
PM. 

277
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,560
So it continues like 2 weeks 
which I complain but still goes 

278
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,280
on. 
Yesterday I called her to come 

279
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,880
home. 
I checked on her call logs. 

280
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,600
I was amazed that it's my friend
that has been talking to all. 

281
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,680
It's my friend that she's been 
talking to all the time, but she

282
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:38,720
didn't give me attention again. 
She has been to his room for 

283
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:45,320
several times. 
Gosh, listen, from what you have

284
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,640
seen, this girl is not your 
girlfriend. 

285
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,440
You guys are just messing 
around. 

286
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,720
You guys are just messing 
around. 

287
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:59,000
So you both don't really owe 
each other any commitment 'cause

288
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,040
you said right here. 
We've been friends for two 

289
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,680
years. 
We do stuff, OK? 

290
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,520
We've been friends for almost 2 
years. 

291
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,600
We do stuff, but not sex. 
I've seen a nakedness through 

292
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:17,360
romance, but yeah, insisting not
to have sex with it. 

293
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,160
So what are you guys doing? 
Are you guys dating? 

294
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,320
Are you guys not dating? 
What's going on? 

295
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,960
What do you guys do? 
You get it? 

296
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,280
It sounds. 
Some type of way. 

297
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,760
Do you guys actually have a 
relationship? 

298
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:34,280
I don't think so. 
You maybe you like it, that's 

299
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,800
why. 
So tell her how you feel before 

300
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,240
she moves on. 
Let's love it. 

301
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:41,120
Let's love it. 
Dieka. 

302
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,000
There's this girl I'm into 
relationship with. 

303
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,120
She's very generous with 
everything she does. 

304
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,040
She was even a virgin when I met
her. 

305
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,160
Things were moving on smoothly. 
Or do I lost my job or so she 

306
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,800
did something. 
I wasn't able to control my 

307
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,920
temper. 
I raised my hands on her. 

308
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:59,600
She left to her mother's place. 
She was actually pregnant when 

309
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,720
she left. 
I was still taking care of her. 

310
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,600
Now I have a job. 
Now I am telling her to come 

311
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,520
over but she says it's over 
between us because after all she

312
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,680
lost the pregnancy. 
I'm really confused. 

313
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,400
I don't know what to do Should I
also accept the break up and 

314
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,960
move on? 
I'm still try to convince her to

315
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,920
come back. 
You messed up by touching her, 

316
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,840
by raising your hands on her so 
you don't have the monopoly to 

317
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,160
now be playing. 
Should I be? 

318
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,080
Should I wait for her? 
You need to continue begging if 

319
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,040
you want to. 
If you don't want to move on, 

320
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,320
OK. 
You need to beg if she's what 

321
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,680
you want, if she's who you want,
work on yourself. 

322
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,120
Work on holding or learning how 
to control your anger or control

323
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,120
yourself and beg like never 
before. 

324
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,360
If she's what she like you don't
have that. 

325
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,000
Should I go? 
Like if she doesn't want should 

326
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,400
I go because now she's scared 
that if she comes back and 

327
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,480
something happens you beat it 
again and should lose the baby 

328
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,320
again. 
Why? 

329
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:06,440
Why, why, why, why, why, why? 
Anyway, messy on you. 

330
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:08,560
Thank you for watching the 
episode. 

331
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,320
I'll see you in the next 
episode. 

332
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,280
Don't forget to subscribe, like 
and share. 

333
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:18,320
My name is Anika Devando and I'm
the host of this amazing show. 

334
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,240
I'll see you in the next one. 
Adios. 

335
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,320
Bye. 
See you at breakfast meeting on 

336
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:29,680
the 18th of October 2025 at the 
Heights National Conference 

337
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,040
Center. 
I'll be there. 

338
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,640
So you 2 be there. 
It's been done by Holy Hill, 

339
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,560
Assemblies of God I.
