One thing as a young person you would do right to harm yourself
is to have a relationship that is only based on sex.
What makes you think that your boyfriend will marry you?
What makes you think? Sometimes, yeah, our parents
look so much into what happened behind that they don't see
what's ahead. They are a lot of the time
speaking out of fear of what would come out of, you know,
someone with such a background. And it's understandable because
it is what makes them a good parent.
Now you as the child, knowing very well what you want, you can
find a way to get your parents, especially, as you said, your
mother, to turn her heart around.
How do you do this? If they posted it on social
media, if they posted it on social media, if they posted it
on social media, then they made it our business.
And since they made it our business, we're gonna make it
our business. Let's get into the stories.
Dear Ikia, I'm a 24 year old schooling at Kamenkoma
University of Science and Technology.
I'm in my third year now. I've been dating this girl for
two years now. After our long vacation, I went
home and I felt sick and invited her one Sunday afternoon to come
and visit me. She came.
Well, all my family are there. One week later she came to visit
me again while my family are there again.
After she left in the evening my mom approached me in my room and
asked me who the girl is to me and I told her she's just a
friend to me and she asked me again.
I said she's a friend to me and my mom started that if I have
something to do with her we should break up because she
don't want me to be with her even as a friend.
I asked her why she said because of the girl's family background.
She started narrating the girl's family history to me and her
last words says she don't want to see me around here again.
OK I really love that girl. She's a cool and calm person to
be with. She has the quality I want for
my girl. She even sent me money without
asking her when I was on campus and always gifted me with a lot
of things. She really loves me.
I don't want to break up with her because of my mother and I
don't want to disappoint my mother either.
Please help me out because I don't know what to do now.
OK I'm going to take it from this perspective and forgive me
if you don't get it. With all honesty I believe in
obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
Honor your mother and father. I believe that a child needs to
respect what comes out of their parents mouth.
But I also believe in the fact that sometimes, sometimes, yeah,
our parents look so much into what happened behind that they
don't see what's ahead. They are a lot of the time
speaking out of fear of what would come out of, you know,
someone with such a background. And it's understandable because
it is what makes them a good parent.
Now, you as the child, knowing very well what you want, you can
find a way to get your parents, especially as you said, your
mother, to turn her heart around.
How do you do this? By talking to her about her and
letting her understand what you're telling me now about how
good she is and everything. I don't know what exactly her
background is, but understand that you need to convince your
mother. You don't need to disrespect her
nor do you need to leave the girl immediately, but speak to
your mother. Like sit her down.
If you ask her and she's saying that she wouldn't tell you, pray
for God to touch her heart to at least explain things to you.
But you don't outright through. You know her way away like that.
And don't outright also throw the girl away.
You need to pray about it. You need to ask God what He
wants really 'cause you really don't know where your mother's
mind is in term. In fact, I, I think I know, and
that is fear of whatever she thinks is happening that's
happening here. But I also believe that there's
a God that can turn things around for people.
And I'm hoping that this girl knows the drama in her family
and is a Christian enough to pray about it so she doesn't
miss something good for her because of that.
And I think you need to engage the girl, speak to her, hear her
out, and hopefully she's a Christian and you tell her to
work on it and work on herself. Do you get it?
That's love it. That's love it.
Dear Ikia, I don't even know where to start from, but keep me
anonymous. So I met a very beautiful girl
in school nursing training which I fell deeply in love with and
still I am. But The thing is, last semester
I read some messages on her phone which got me perplexed.
I confronted her and we settled it and our love life continues.
I don't know what came over me. Again I hacked her phone.
I know my way around such things when it comes to hacking and as
I'm typing I'm filled with tears.
Charlie this girl has about 5 boyfriends that she tells them
that she loves them. Students nurses do practicals
whenever they vacate so like 5 days to the clinicals.
This girl went to one of the boys which she claims to be his
brother and he had sex after she texted me that she loves me and
she can't do without me. Just today a guy proposed to her
and she accepted so now we are serving way back in.
I remember giving my contact to some of the girls who needed
help with the academics and this girl got angry that I am the
only person who can help them so I blocked them because this babe
doesn't like that. Right now I need advice, should
I confront her that I know what she's doing or I should keep
pretending that I haven't seen anything?
Fear women and live long, my brothers.
That part is funny. I mean, I don't want to call it
confronting. I want to call it getting
clarity or getting clarifications because you
really have evidence of what she's doing.
You really know what she's doing.
So it's not like I'm confronting to see the truth because you
already know the truth. So it's like I'm telling you,
this is what you're doing and it makes you a terrible, terrible,
terrible person. Do you understand?
That's that's where I think you need to take it from.
Not that. Is it true that you're cheating
on me? No.
Is it true that we are serving a number?
No. That's not what you're doing.
Doing that is trying to give her the chance to lie to you again.
So now that you know, Sir, leave that terrible woman alone.
And I need to clarify something. Human beings can be bad, whether
man or woman, OK? So if there's anything you need
to see here in this world and you need to be careful about,
it's a human being problem, not a man or a woman.
That girl is a terrible human being.
Yes. Why not?
Every woman is like that. Yeah.
Just like there's this terrible
woman, right? There are terrible men out there
doing terrible things to good women.
So it wouldn't be fair that you will shout fear women when men
are also messing up with women too.
I mean, that's just something that I think that we need to sit
down and think about. And we are sending this directly
to the girl that did that to you.
She's a terrible woman, terrible girl.
And she should consider like that.
You think sleeping with seven men at a go, you think you're
doing me or you're doing the guys?
No, you're doing yourself. You're doing yourself OK.
It's not me. STD's things.
You see, it is terrible for a man to be sleeping with multiple
women. It is terrible.
It is not a flex, but it is more terrible when a woman does it.
Ah, nasty. Seven men got a go.
Nobody's a St. But this is crazy, my dear.
Tell her and leave her asks. This one dear, let me share my
story with you a bit. Akia hide or cover my name or my
Pete emoji. So I've been single for a very
long time like 4 years and I've never engaged in any sexual
relationship with anyone even do I sometimes get the privilege of
doing that with some ladies. I've declined a lot of those
friends with benefits thing 'cause I believe if I've got no
mutual interest or relationship with you, then I can't have sex
with you no matter how bad I wanna have sex.
I've trained myself to control my body very well so I'm very
good not having sex. Fast forward, my best friend who
is a very pretty beautiful lady was also going through the same
thing but hers was a bit different course and she had a
boyfriend but not in the country and we talk and vibe more so she
she suggested we should be meeting up more often.
She's smart, beautiful and pretty I won't lie about that.
I told her one time that I wanted to tell her some secret
'cause it's been eating me up for a very long time.
I told her I feel I've developed some kind of feelings which is
love for her so I don't know what to do.
She said I know too much about her so I can't be in a
relationship with her but she was just but she would just be a
friends with benefits and moreover she needs sex so bad.
I didn't want to lose my best friend.
So I give in and we've been having sex since then.
She enjoys it 'cause I give in all when we're having sex 'cause
I always feel like she's my girlfriend so I have to satisfy
her to that level. Recently I met a lady through a
friend and it's like we've started dating and this
particular lady said no sex until marriage.
It's not the sex I'm worried about too but what if she gives
it to another person and she's just being that with me And
cause of that I've stopped my best friend from coming to my
place. What do I do now 'cause the
daily I love said no sex till marriage and my best friend said
sex but no relationship. How old are you?
You didn't put your age there. But for me, I believe in having
meaningful relationships. One thing as a young person you
would do right to harm yourself is to have a relationship that
is only based on sex. You harm yourself not just for
the person that you end up marrying or being with on a long
term, but also yourself. I would suggest that you let go
of your friends with benefit with your best friend, have a
conversation with her and end it.
And if you believe right that God has ways of opening doors
for you when you're not sexually active.
If you believe, stick with your girl and just hope and pray that
she's being real with you. Or maybe watch her to also see
if she's being real with you. She has a reason for saying no
sex till marriage. Have you asked her?
Maybe have a conversation with her and see OK if she's a good
girl and she knows why she's doing it she won't sleep with
anyone. Just trust that at least they
are still good girls in the sister.
OK well the friends who benefit is not advisable at all.
I I liked you from the beginning when he said you were not
engaging in all those things. But I also understand that you
had feelings for your best friend and you were hoping it
all bloom or blossom into something.
But she's for someone else. She's dating someone else.
If she was willing to leave her boyfriend for you, then that's
fair. You could say that.
OK, Then you would even get what she wants from the your your
bestie. So then why they need to stay in
a sexless relationship? But I don't know.
For some reason, I'm feeling like I should tell you that.
Be in a sexless relationship and it can help you in a long way.
OK. That's why we that's why we
dear. It can keep me anonymous.
I'm in level 300 going to 400 in one of the best universities in
Ghana. I have dated my guy for a year
and during my first semester of third year I met a taxi driver
who wanted me badly but during that period I had
misunderstanding with my boyfriend so he became very
close. Fast forward I told him no sex
for some time and he agreed. I won't lie, he was very good
but from his conversations all he wants to do is either travel
and return to marry me in three or four years or even more and
moreover, he introduced me to everyone as his serious
girlfriend which he knows I have a boyfriend IKEA.
My dream is to become a career woman if God is willing.
So I later told him I'm not interested in this relationship
anymore but since we are friends before, we can maintain that so
that I can settle with my boyfriend IKEA.
After this agreement he never called to check up or anything
so I also gave him some same energy and Lita deleted his
number because that will help me not to try to call him.
Not long ago he called me to check up on me after some months
but I didn't recognize his number so he asked me whether I
have deleted the number and obviously I have.
So please should I keep his number or delete it as I did so
that I will ignore his existence because the truth is I need
nothing from him because by God's grace I'm a last born
enjoying my mother and elder siblings money.
So I need a little push up advice.
What do you seek in a relationship?
Your issues with him is just about the travelling.
You think when he travels things will spoil?
Is that it? I mean, maybe this is not the
kind of opinion you're looking for, but what do you mean by you
want to be a career woman? What has that got to do with him
marrying you two or three years later?
It's either you like him or not 'cause you really didn't say
anything about your boyfriend. How is that relationship?
Is he treating you well? What is going on?
Why? You had a misunderstanding with
your boyfriend and you moved on immediately and the next person
you moved on with seems serious. The fact that you had that
misunderstanding with him and the first thing that came into
your mind is let me move on makes me think you really didn't
love your boyfriend much, but then you didn't really also love
the taxi driver because of the travelling.
I need to understand you because I feel like you yourself, you've
not, You need to sit down and breathe and know what exactly
you're looking for so that when you get it and it feels shaky,
you don't just jump to another ship.
You need to rethink your decisions.
Look at some things. Well alright.
What makes you think that your boyfriend will marry you?
What makes you think that's lovely?
That's lovely dear. OK.
I feel betrayed and disappointed.
I've been friends with this girl for almost 2 years.
We do stuff but not sex. I've seen her nakedness through
romance but insisting having sex with her because it might turn
the love I have for her down. We talk every night and day.
Fast forward, she likes drawing which she's not really good at
but more room for improvement. So I introduce her to my area
friend to teach her at work. Now I have been a victim all day
and time drawing. If not drawing, talking to
someone else at 9:00 to 11:00 PM.
So it continues like 2 weeks which I complain but still goes
on. Yesterday I called her to come
home. I checked on her call logs.
I was amazed that it's my friend that has been talking to all.
It's my friend that she's been talking to all the time, but she
didn't give me attention again. She has been to his room for
several times. Gosh, listen, from what you have
seen, this girl is not your girlfriend.
You guys are just messing around.
So you both don't really owe each other any commitment 'cause
you said right here. We've been friends for two
years. We do stuff, OK?
We've been friends for almost 2 years.
We do stuff, but not sex. I've seen a nakedness through
romance, but yeah, insisting not to have sex with it.
So what are you guys doing? Are you guys dating?
Are you guys not dating? What's going on?
What do you guys do? You get it?
It sounds. Some type of way.
Do you guys actually have a relationship?
I don't think so. You maybe you like it, that's
why. So tell her how you feel before
she moves on. Let's love it.
Dieka.
There's this girl I'm into relationship with.
She's very generous with everything she does.
She was even a virgin when I met her.
Things were moving on smoothly. Or do I lost my job or so she
did something. I wasn't able to control my
temper. I raised my hands on her.
She left to her mother's place. She was actually pregnant when
she left. I was still taking care of her.
Now I have a job. Now I am telling her to come
over but she says it's over between us because after all she
lost the pregnancy. I'm really confused.
I don't know what to do Should I also accept the break up and
move on? I'm still try to convince her to
come back. You messed up by touching her,
by raising your hands on her so you don't have the monopoly to
now be playing. Should I be?
Should I wait for her? You need to continue begging if
you want to. If you don't want to move on,
OK. You need to beg if she's what
you want, if she's who you want, work on yourself.
Work on holding or learning how to control your anger or control
yourself and beg like never before.
If she's what she like you don't have that.
Should I go? Like if she doesn't want should
I go because now she's scared that if she comes back and
something happens you beat it again and should lose the baby
again. Why?
Why, why, why, why, why, why? Anyway, messy on you.
Thank you for watching the episode.
I'll see you in the next episode.
Don't forget to subscribe, like and share.
My name is Anika Devando and I'm the host of this amazing show.
I'll see you in the next one. Adios.
Bye. See you at breakfast meeting on
the 18th of October 2025 at the Heights National Conference
Center. I'll be there.
So you 2 be there. It's been done by Holy Hill,
Assemblies of God I.