1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,680 In a Ghanaian, you know, we will say it's a mechanic playing in 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,040 it, playing far. Any woman that wants an 3 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:09,400 unavailable man is broken. When you you you're about to 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,520 date somebody. Please check your genotype. 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,320 If she can play someone, she can play you to what's so special 6 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,239 about you that she can play you dude? 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:23,160 So do you my dear, but no that a lot of the times the things that 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:26,320 you do is a reflection of the kind of person that you are. 9 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:39,760 We're back again with another exciting episode of the Few 10 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,880 Report cast. You're going to read some 11 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,720 confessions or some dilemmas and then talk about them. 12 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,000 My name is Nanukya Depar. And then every day I say that in 13 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,240 as much as you didn't send a story does not mean that you 14 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:57,040 would not resonate with one or two of the stories and use a few 15 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,160 of the opinions I will be giving to you in the comment section. 16 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:04,440 So please share for other people to also have access to it just 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,440 like you have access to it. Now, before I get into this, you 18 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,080 know, this particular episode, listen, I'm sad. 19 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,720 I'm sad because on Saturday, right? 20 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:21,200 The Saturday episode I posted in the snippet, there was an angle 21 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,440 where I was talking about intentionality from people. 22 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,840 I live in gender specify it, you know, intentionally. 23 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,400 I just spoke about it in in a sense that people should be 24 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,080 intentional about dating people. They should stop being 25 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,520 nonchalant. And I'm sad because it looks 26 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:44,720 like our generation of men seem to think that women like and 27 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:48,720 want nonchalant men. This may just be my opinion, but 28 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,000 I'm going to say the street in the Ghanaian, you know, we will 29 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,720 say it's a mechanic plane, an airplane farm. 30 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:59,320 Any woman that wants an unavailable man is broken, is 31 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,920 damaged emotionally. That person needs to go and see 32 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:07,560 a therapist and find solutions to their problems because I tell 33 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,000 you that men that are emotionally unavailable are 34 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:18,720 straining and draining to be with any young lady that is OK 35 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:23,400 dating a man that is nonchalant. A man that is emotionally 36 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:27,240 unavailable has a problem. I've said what I've said and I 37 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,120 said before if it's just my opinion, I mean, it's just my 38 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,640 opinion, but I strongly stand in it. 39 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,960 And my sisters that actually agree with me, please come into 40 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,080 the comments section. Let's talk about sense. 41 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,920 Let's let's, let's, let's talk about sensible women, women that 42 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,840 actually have sense and know what they want in life. 43 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,640 Not all these broken women, I mean all of us are broken one 44 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,920 way or the other. But to think that in your life, 45 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,000 an unavailable man and one silence man is who you want to 46 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,400 be with for the rest of your life, then something is wrong 47 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,120 with you. We need to get you checked. 48 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,360 Seriously. Now let's get into this episode 49 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:08,160 or this session. Let me get straight by saying 50 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,920 that if they posted it on social media. 51 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,920 If they posted it on social media, if they posted it on 52 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,800 social media, then they made it our business. 53 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,680 And since they made it our business, we're gonna make it 54 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,880 our business. When I say this, I'm basically 55 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,240 trying to say that yeah, they posted it and so we're gonna 56 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,040 talk about it. The fact that they sent it to me 57 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,800 does not mean that I will be disrespectful about it. 58 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,880 I will not be, I will not be disrespectful, but I'm going to 59 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,400 tell you what I think about whatever you're sending me. 60 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,480 If I need to be hard on you, I will be hard on you. 61 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,920 If I need to be soft, I will be soft. 62 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:50,480 All right, so let's get straight into it, dear. 63 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,560 Keep me anonymous. I don't even know where to start 64 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,880 from. I've been dating my mom for six 65 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,120 years now. Yeah, when I met him, I made him 66 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,040 understand that I'm a sickle cell patient with genotype SC, 67 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,120 so you should check his before anything happens between us. 68 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,280 But he convinced me that he isn't having any sickle cell 69 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:13,280 disorder because there hasn't been any day that he has 70 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,680 experienced any pains in his arms or legs before. 71 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,800 So I agreed to be with him for the past six years. 72 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,040 He's the only man I know because of my condition. 73 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,080 I don't want to be sleeping elsewhere because of my 74 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,160 condition. Again. 75 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,680 Any small thing makes me get crisis only for me to know that 76 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,800 is also a sickle cell carrier with genotype. 77 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:38,520 As as I'm typing I'm in tears. He said he doesn't care about 78 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,680 the status and we can still get married. 79 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,200 But OK. I know how painful the sickness 80 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,680 is. I can't let my children suffer 81 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,000 the way I am suffering and he is the only man I have ever known. 82 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:54,080 He's scaring, genuine and he loves me and I love him too. 83 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,000 I don't know what to do I'm in a deep mess. 84 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,360 Please I need your opinion and your followers too. 85 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,680 I will be in the comments section. 86 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:08,120 Oh Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. 87 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,920 That is why, you see, I liked that you were asserting that he 88 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:18,000 should check it. I can't sit here and be 89 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,040 judgmental and say that's leaving, leaving, leaving. 90 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,880 But there's been lots of awareness about genotype issues 91 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:29,560 and the effects of genotype with genotype issues when it has to 92 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,240 come with children. And I like that she said that 93 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,320 your children must not go through this because you know 94 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,360 the pain. Now you need to make a logical 95 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,360 decision here. Don't think about just the 96 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,040 emotions about how you love him. Is there a possibility? 97 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,200 I don't think there's a possibility because both of you 98 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,560 are carriers. So there's no way that it will 99 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,240 be like, OK, because maybe one person is carrying, there's a 100 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,720 chance that the child will not be carrying. 101 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,680 But because both of you are carrying, I may not have all the 102 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,320 details, but I'm assuming that the child may, may, may also 103 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,200 carry. So as you're thinking about the 104 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,800 future of your children are like that, let it be like that and 105 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,880 make a decision that will be beneficial to your children, not 106 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,240 just you right now. Don't just think about how you 107 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,560 feel now, OK? I mean, at least that's what I 108 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,840 think. But the comment section should 109 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,600 also let us know what they think. 110 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,920 This is extremely sad. Let me just use the opportunity 111 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,160 to say that when you, you you're about to date somebody, please 112 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,280 check your genotype. Check and be sure. 113 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,440 Even if the person said, oh, forget I don't have it, please 114 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,200 check because this is evidence that's the passing may have 115 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,520 issues. The passing may carry it too. 116 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,880 But because of the fact that they want you, they will 117 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,600 probably lie to you. So let them check and maybe be 118 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,680 there to to get what you need to get to be able to, you know. 119 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,320 Yeah, that's. How? 120 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,640 It that's how it dear it can. I have a boyfriend who is 30 but 121 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,800 mind you my boyfriend doesn't look his age. 122 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:04,320 This guy has been so good to me ever since we met that I felt he 123 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,080 was sent to help me. My parents have separated, my 124 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,440 mom wish to help me financially but she's not capable. 125 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,800 My dad also provides for my fees and who's still but I have to 126 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,240 cater for the rest which I'm not working. 127 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,680 This boyfriend of mine has always been supportive. 128 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,320 He bought me a laptop to school my provisions, pays for my hair, 129 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,480 bought me clothes and he assists me any time I need. 130 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,280 He puts a lot of effort in this relationship. 131 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,560 Apart from this he's gentle, calm, caring and God fearing. 132 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:37,160 Since we started dating he has not done anything bad, he's just 133 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,280 been kind and he supports my dream and encourages me anytime 134 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,600 my separated parents frustrates me. 135 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,120 He's always been there and he's my kind of man. 136 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:51,160 Fast forward I was sick one day and he drove me home so 137 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,760 eventually he saw my mom and I introduced him. 138 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,400 Two days after he left my mom told me he doesn't like him 139 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,760 because he's fancy and asked me if he's rich. 140 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:05,400 Mind you my dad is fancy but because of his marital issues 141 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,280 she said no daughter of hers would be married to a fancy man. 142 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,760 I feel I love this guy and he's been too good to me that I feel 143 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:20,040 that I shouldn't pay him with bad even not for anything. 144 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,720 He's always been there for me, but my mom is the problem. 145 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,560 OK, I will be in the comments section. 146 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,480 What should I do? Should I break up with him or? 147 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,280 I'm confused? He's good to you. 148 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,760 Don't just jump and break up with him because of what your 149 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,280 mother has been through. Just not long ago I've had a 150 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:42,720 very crazy experience about stereotyping, right? 151 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,560 And I'm gonna tell you the hard way, a very good friend of mine 152 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,760 said, Nana, I know that you've been through shit in the hands 153 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:55,320 of a lot of men, but you need to take the fear out of your heart 154 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:58,040 and out of your mind. And when a good one comes to 155 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,160 you, you take it. And you, you, you enjoy the 156 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,880 moment. And if it goes, SAR, it does. 157 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,320 And you know that you've enjoyed the time with him. 158 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,840 But in this case, it has not gone SAR. 159 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,880 It is good for your mom to even ask if he's rich is a problem 160 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,320 for me. Your mom has a problem. 161 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,920 You need to be able to set some boundaries with your mother. 162 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,680 Recently, I think I've been having a lot of conversations 163 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,480 with people about how to deal with their parents in terms of 164 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,920 communication on my life in personal life. 165 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,280 Right here with stories. And let me tell you straight, 166 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,320 the fact that your mother is older than you or your father is 167 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,960 older than you does not mean that everything they tell you is 168 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,960 the right thing. I'm not saying disrespect your 169 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,080 parents. I'm not saying tell, you know, 170 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,440 tell your parents that they are not wise. 171 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,400 I'm telling you that they're human beings and they can make 172 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,480 mistakes. So if this man is good to you, 173 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,440 has not done anything to you, please just have a conversation 174 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,880 with your mother that maybe my father was bad to you, but this 175 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,920 man has not been bad to me so far. 176 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,120 So I do not have any excuse to just walk out of his life or ask 177 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,080 him to walk out of my life. And if that is what you are 178 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,800 seeing, then pay everything that this man has done for me. 179 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,600 Every money, every expenses that this man has spent on me, give 180 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,040 it to me. Let me go and give it back to 181 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,040 him. At least I'll pay him back for 182 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,560 you know, I'll pay him back for all the money wasted. 183 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:33,440 I, I'm people may come for me in the comment section, but I 184 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,160 understand that the Bible says obey your parents in the Lord 185 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,640 for this is right. And I your father and mother, so 186 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:43,200 you can have long life. It is there, it is in the Bible. 187 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,720 So don't go and disrespect your mother, but make her understand 188 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:51,800 in a conversation that you think that the the advice she's giving 189 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:57,320 you is not right. I don't want you to regret in 190 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,280 future and blame her for something that she could have 191 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:07,160 done something about. All right, dear Ekia, I've been 192 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,400 dating my girlfriend for about 3 years now. 193 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,200 We are now in separate universities but both in Accra. 194 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,400 She's brilliant and I truly love her because I see potential and 195 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,760 bright future. I took her virginity about a 196 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,000 year ago, but she wasn't very into sex at the time. 197 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,800 However, towards the end of 2024 she started wanting us to be 198 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,880 intimate all the time. Most of her conversations now 199 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,120 revolve around sex and it feels like that's all she thinks 200 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,400 about. She used to be very focused on 201 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:41,560 her education, brilliant, but now it seems like she's addicted 202 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,640 to sex. I don't want her relationship to 203 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,600 go down that path and I don't want to lose her either. 204 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,360 I really don't know how to help her or handle the situation. 205 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,480 I tried talking but she feels like I want to ignore her. 206 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,240 I love her but I feel like if we continue like this it's not 207 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,880 going to end well. She doesn't seem to understand 208 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,560 that she can be with me anytime she wants but I want us to focus 209 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,920 on things other than sex. Please any opinion. 210 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,760 I need your opinion and I don't want to lose it but also I want 211 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,960 to. I want to help him move away 212 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,320 from this path. I'm concerned about her becoming 213 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:33,000 addicted to sex. OK, first of all, some people go 214 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:37,600 to a point where they want to really explore sexually in as 215 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,720 much as is not really bad. It's also, you know, has it's 216 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,560 own complications. And I like that you're actually 217 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,720 willing to focus on your studies and make her focus on her 218 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,360 studies. Start by having a conversation 219 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,680 with her. Maybe find an elderly person 220 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,440 that can intervene between the two of you and have a 221 00:12:55,440 --> 00:13:03,240 conversation with her. I think just telling her that 222 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,880 you can have me anytime is not enough. 223 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,240 But let her know that you love her, you want the best for her, 224 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,360 and your thoughts about slowing down on sex is not for just your 225 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,080 own goodbye for her own good too. 226 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,280 You see, there's a downside to this. 227 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:22,280 The downside is if she meets someone that is willing to give 228 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,680 her all the sex that she wants, she will cheat on you. 229 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,920 That's the downside of it. If she doesn't understand the 230 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,480 conversation you're going to have with her, she may end up 231 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,520 cheating on you. So you need to thread really 232 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,280 carefully when dealing with this. 233 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:40,000 The conversation you're going to have with her must be serious 234 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:44,960 but subtle at the same time. Maybe give her one and then 235 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,400 after giving her that one, you can have that conversation with 236 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,600 her. All right, let's love it. 237 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,440 Let's love it. Dear Agrea, please keep me 238 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,720 anonymous. I'm really confused about 239 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,360 something. I've been seeing this guy for a 240 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,080 couple of months and to be honest I really don't know what 241 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,560 to think anymore. We've been in a thing for a 242 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,440 couple of months now and he has not asked me to be his 243 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,040 girlfriend. I personally I'm not the type 244 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,680 that doesn't like to rush things but months have gone by and this 245 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,160 guy has not officially asked me to be his girlfriend. 246 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,880 And to be honest I'm the type of girl that have men all in my DM 247 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:25,320 but I feel like leaving him. I'm gonna be too fast to do 248 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,920 that. I really don't know. 249 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,560 Please give me your opinion. OK? 250 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:35,760 Listen, open communication must happen OK? 251 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,760 When you and someone talk for months and you realize that the 252 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,200 question is not coming up is it? Some people don't really think 253 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:48,720 asking someone to be your girlfriend is important, but to 254 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,680 some of us it is very important because we don't want along the 255 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,000 line when things start going sour and you talk about it and 256 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,440 he says, did I ever ask you to be like or did I ever propose to 257 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,520 you? We really don't want those 258 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,640 things popping up on us. So we'd rather want you to ask 259 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,560 us so that we would say yes. Even though we know that we 260 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,040 already, you know, are in something together. 261 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,720 You are banking on the fact that a lot of men are your DMS to 262 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,480 live in because they are not. He has not asked you to be his 263 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,440 girlfriend, but what happened to you openly telling him that? 264 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,040 Listen, I don't like what's going on. 265 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,320 I'm not comfortable that we're doing this without you popping 266 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,160 the question of me being your girlfriend. 267 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,240 And I don't think it's fair to any of us. 268 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,760 Openly communicate openly tell him how you feel rather than 269 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,600 thinking that yeah, I'm young, I'm beautiful, there are lots of 270 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,280 men in my DM. So I'm gonna walk away. 271 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,200 What's if the next one who doesn't propose, you're gonna 272 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,120 walk away on that one too? So why not communicate? 273 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,160 Why not just speak to him? Why not just tell him? 274 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,880 Why not? If he's doing everything right 275 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,920 in the talking stage, like consistently putting an effort 276 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:07,280 to talk to you, like committing to you, it won't be hard for you 277 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,240 to open your mouth to say, oh, my chairman, we've been doing 278 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,520 this for some time now. We've not popped the question. 279 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,640 And when he says that, I, why do I really need to pop the 280 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,800 question? Then you can tell me that. 281 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,360 Well, I don't want tomorrow you come and tell me that. 282 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,760 Did I ask you to be my girlfriend? 283 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,480 Do you get it? So open up, talk you to your 284 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,680 mouth. Ask, you know, don't ask him to 285 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,320 be your boyfriend, but tell him how you feel. 286 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,480 Let him know that you're not comfortable. 287 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,280 Then jumping from man to man because no one didn't ask you to 288 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,640 be. You know, it's Nah. 289 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,560 I don't think it makes sense to me. 290 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,440 I don't think so. That's why. 291 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,920 That's. Why dear Aqua, please what 292 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,720 should I do 'cause I really love this girl. 293 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:53,000 She has done a lot for me back then in school, she even helped 294 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,280 me to attain the assistant school prefect. 295 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,480 Please, what do I do? So there's this girl that I love 296 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,520 very much. I dated from SHS one to three. 297 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,280 She told me about this guy whom she claimed she's playing. 298 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,319 I disagree but I never knew. I continued. 299 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,760 One day she texted me insulting me that why did I send our chat 300 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,760 to the guy. I was confused before this 301 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,359 incident she posted a video of her in the guy's room so I 302 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,040 decided to break up but I wasn't able because of love. 303 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:24,680 We settled that issue before this one. 304 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,079 She blocked me and according to my sources of information about 305 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:32,680 her, she stays with the guy. I was really hurt but she came 306 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,680 back telling me that the guy told her. 307 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,120 I said I don't love her and I'm just playing here. 308 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,720 And the guy linked the phone to the laptop. 309 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,560 See, you didn't finish this story, but I can tell you points 310 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,520 blank that that girl is going to be the death of fear. 311 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,400 You're too young. You just complete anesthesia. 312 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,440 I'm assuming you're in the uni, so there's no girl in that uni 313 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,760 that you can go. And to say like that you are 314 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:03,280 letting one girl do you like that Ogga, ogga Ogga, please, 315 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,800 please. You better focus on school and 316 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,120 if you think you want to date find someone proper in date and 317 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:12,360 stop all this rubbish that this girl is doing OK. 318 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,680 She doesn't deserve you. If she can play someone she can 319 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,520 play you too. What's so special about you that 320 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,040 she can play you? Dude, that's. 321 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,680 Why we? That's why we dear Ekia, please 322 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,920 don't mention my name. This is what I've been going 323 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,920 through for some time now. My girlfriend has been cheating 324 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,160 on me for more than eight months now. 325 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,080 This is how I caught her. I created a new WhatsApp account 326 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,480 with different number which she doesn't know. 327 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,960 I stole her for four months and this is what she does. 328 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,760 Whenever I go to work, she goes to the other guy's place and 329 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,120 post videos of the guy on his status which I cannot see. 330 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,360 But the fake account I create, I see everything she posts. 331 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,000 The craziest part of it is when she goes to the guy's place she 332 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,400 puts herself with a guy kissing each other and in the evening 333 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,200 time back from work I force her to have sex with. 334 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:09,880 I know she has already given the cake to the other guy so I have 335 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,880 also gave my part. I saw I also saw some naked 336 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:18,880 videos of her and the guy on her phone she slept with often her 337 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,760 phone. So all this why I see her to 338 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,880 look like a hookup girl who I paid to fuck. 339 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:30,920 On the 30th of February 2025 she went to see the guy. 340 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,680 Sometimes I watch her and I start to laugh. 341 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,720 She thinks she's very smart but Nah. 342 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,200 OK my dear, I don't know why you're still entertaining her. 343 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,040 Maybe you're doing that thing where when a guy finds out his 344 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,840 girl is cheating, he just fucks her some. 345 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:48,400 If that's what is, that's what makes you feel good my dear, go 346 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,840 ahead and do that. But understand that at the end 347 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,920 of the day, you're not just, you know, messing with her. 348 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,120 You're messing with your own self. 349 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,160 You see, let's acknowledge something. 350 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,520 I don't think I've ever sat here to say that every woman in this 351 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:05,680 world is perfect or every man in this world is perfect 352 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,800 consistently. You need to look out for your 353 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,120 own self and not listen to people. 354 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,760 Yap. About things that will not be 355 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,480 beneficial to you. I've seen so much on the 356 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:24,240 Internet where men embrace that thing where if we catch you 357 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,680 cheating, we'll be chopping you and they will go and marry 358 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,160 someone else, yada, yada, yada, yada yada, yada, that kind of 359 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,200 thing. You think you're just, you know, 360 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,880 messing with her. You think you're just hurting 361 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,880 her. At the long run, you are just 362 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,680 going to marry someone else, my dear. 363 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,640 Mentally, something is happening up there. 364 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,320 Mentally something is happening up there. 365 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,120 So you're not you're just messing with her physically. 366 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,640 Maybe the day she finds out you've married someone, someone 367 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,360 else, then it will hurt him mentally. 368 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,880 But you in the time that you're sleeping with her while she's 369 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,280 also sleeping with someone else, knowing very well that you have 370 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,320 loved this woman before this laughing emoji you have to see. 371 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,240 We all know that you're crying inside you too. 372 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:10,280 So do you, my dear. But no, that a lot of the times 373 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,520 the things that you do is the reflection of the kind of person 374 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:19,160 that you are. It is not of what the person is, 375 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,600 but you. So why not save yourself and 376 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,120 that relationship and move on with your life? 377 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:33,560 Why not, eh, why not do that? Because you men that keep doing 378 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,320 them chopping this. And when I'm ready to marry 379 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,320 someone, you're not just hurting, you're hurting your own 380 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,840 self too. Really you are, you just don't 381 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,880 know yet. Anyway let me stop before do 382 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:51,600 come and blast me. Dear IKEA, I need your opinion. 383 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:55,880 It's about me and my girlfriend. So she said she wants me to 384 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,000 treat her like a baby and be romantic to her. 385 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,080 I try my best to be all this but it's like I'm not doing it well 386 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,920 and because of this she almost broke up with me yesterday as I 387 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,320 talk to her and convince her not to and promise to be better. 388 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,520 Please. How can I treat her like a baby 389 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,160 and pump her hair and also be romantic morphing? 390 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:19,000 I need your opinion. Be spontaneous OK? 391 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,720 When I mean to the best of my knowledge right? 392 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:26,240 Whenever I talk about setting things I say it from my personal 393 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,520 perspective. It could not be what she wants. 394 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:33,840 But I see romance in different forms. 395 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,320 OK. When someone is spontaneous, be 396 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,200 spontaneous is one of that that is planning a date. 397 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,160 She doesn't, you know, she didn't see coming. 398 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,320 I'm not saying carry money and take it to fast restaurants. 399 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,080 And that's what we call fun. What do you call a romantic 400 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:54,480 norm? I think if you have a laptop you 401 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,280 can buy popcorn. If it's not the popcorn thing 402 00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,880 you can buy yourself. You can buy the corn and come 403 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,680 and do it in the house. If she drinks you can get a 404 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,720 bottle of wine. If she doesn't you can get soft 405 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:10,400 drinks, can get some sweets, you know chocolates. 406 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,560 Lay a blanket on the floor. Lay a mat on the floor. 407 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:18,280 Depending on your tax brackets, lay something on the floor, put 408 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,440 some pillows on it. Sit down with her. 409 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,440 Watch a movie, watch a romantic movie, watch a comedy. 410 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,680 What type of movie does she like? 411 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:32,040 If you your finances are intact, one afternoon you can order some 412 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,520 cupcakes for her with the sweet message on it. 413 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,760 You know she wakes up in the morning, you've written her 414 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,560 beautiful poem. All these things, right? 415 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,320 They're spontaneous, they're beautiful, they're nice. 416 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,360 If that is not what she wants, then I don't really know what 417 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:58,360 type of romantic she's asking for. 418 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,120 There's that. There's the whole, you know, 419 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,480 home date thing. One of the things I love, right, 420 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,360 is getting a call from somebody that I'm with. 421 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,080 What are you doing? Oh, I'm just home. 422 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:15,480 OK, I'm coming to grab you. The person comes to grab me. 423 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,000 Maybe in the time the person is coming, this is holding a bottle 424 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,040 of wine, maybe some chocolate. If it's a walk that we need to 425 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,840 even go, we just go for the Walkita chocolates and just 426 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,360 talk. If it's the wine, we sit 427 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:30,640 somewhere, pour the wine, drink and just talk. 428 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,520 If it's home, we sit down, conversate. 429 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,680 Just you know, all these days can be termed as romantic. 430 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,600 So what is your woman talking about? 431 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,640 Because sometimes too, some people assume that romance is 432 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:49,440 spending so much money on them. Some people assume that. 433 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:55,040 So I really don't know what your woman wants, but hopefully I've 434 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,680 been able to help. Yeah, yeah. 435 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,400 Be a bit spontaneous and let's see how she responds to that. 436 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,160 Let's. Love it, let's love it. 437 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,200 Dear Akia, please keep me anonymous. 438 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:10,000 I'm dating this girl who has been my friend for a year. 439 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,920 We started the relationship well until she told me that her ex's 440 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,360 mom wanted to see her. Advised she doesn't go but she 441 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,920 felt I was trying to control her. 442 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,560 She later did not go but a friend of mine who acted like a 443 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,960 guy in my girlfriend's name asked if she was less busy so 444 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,600 that they could meet. Her reply was my boyfriend wants 445 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,880 to visit me today. I was left in a dilemma because 446 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,400 I don't remember telling her I was going to visit her. 447 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,640 When I confronted her, she got annoyed. 448 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,960 Even before then I told her that what if she went to see her ex's 449 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,920 mom and she asked them to reunite. 450 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,160 Her reply was that I would have to fight for us. 451 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,520 Whenever she does something wrong and I try to tell her, she 452 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,760 ends up getting annoyed. I love her and I know she loves 453 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,280 me but she keeps giving me reasons to stop loving her. 454 00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:00,720 How do you know she loves you? When when when you say I know 455 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,000 she loves me. What do you mean? 456 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:10,040 Because think about it, your friend texted her, let's meet up 457 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,240 and she says my boyfriend is coming to see me. 458 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,160 And you know, you didn't tell her you were going to see her. 459 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,160 Maybe she was just trying to blow your friend off. 460 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:21,080 That's 1-2 or she probably went to see her ex's mother. 461 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,440 They got reunited and that's the boyfriend coming. 462 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:32,520 And for her to say that you would have to fight for her, 463 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,480 does it mean that there's a chance that she's going to give 464 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,320 her ex, you know, an opportunity to get back in a life that both 465 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,120 of you would have to banter? Not physically, but both of you 466 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:44,080 would have to impress her so she could choose one. 467 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:51,760 Which one is it, my dear? I've given you multiple 468 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,080 scenarios. Look at this very well and see 469 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,480 what you think will do best for you. 470 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,600 OK, I'm here with something to think about. 471 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,480 And based off of that, maybe you can ask her a few questions. 472 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,640 What she means by you. You need to fight for her. 473 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,840 What does she mean by that? You could also request why she 474 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,960 said her boyfriend was coming there when you did not say you 475 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,400 were going there. That's another thing you need to 476 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,800 be able to actively ask her what is going on. 477 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,520 Ma, why is this happening? Do you give me? 478 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,960 Yes. I'm gonna end it here. 479 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,480 Thank you very much for watching the episode. 480 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:27,800 It has been exciting. It has been educative and 481 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,760 informative. I'll see you in the next 482 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,880 episode, please. And I'm going to repeat this 483 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,600 again. Please share for someone else to 484 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,080 also have access to the POV content. 485 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,160 Because what we do here is real life. 486 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,400 Our ultimate motive is to be helpful to people, to help 487 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:47,320 people deal with the things that they can't, you know, process 488 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:51,000 alone. That being said, recently it has 489 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,400 become a routine for me that I get to talk to people a lot. 490 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,120 Like somebody can just call me and say, hey, I want to talk to 491 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,080 you about something. Yes, you're free to do that. 492 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,800 Just hop into my DM and then let's have a conversation as to 493 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,600 how you can get access to me. And then let's talk about what's 494 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,480 going on with you. Thank you for watching. 495 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,240 I'll see you in the next episode. 496 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:10,200 Bye.