Whatever conversation I'm having here with everyone is not based
on Isha Allah relationship. I want people to get into
relationship with the intentions of spending the rest of their
lives with them. So it's not a joke she's putting
her defenses on. She knows what she has done is
wrong and instead of owning up to it and then coming for a
conversation knowing very well that you've gone through the
phone, she's trying to form raping children classifieds.
Let me just keep quiet is a man and every man she's sick.
Hi, let's read some stories. My name is Anika Depander and
this is the Pure View podcast where we have one simple
assignment and that is to read some stories to you and share
our opinion right here in the episode while you share yours in
the comments section. If you haven't subscribed,
please do subscribe. Now let's get into the mantra
for the show. Now the mantra is basically a
pledge or an something. Yeah, it's a pledge.
Now, the mantra is basically a pledge where we tell the people
that send us the stories that we respect what they've sent to us
and we're going to be as nice as possible.
But if they themselves messed up in this situation, we're going
to tell them. We're going to be truthful to
them because since they sent it to us, now it has become our
business and let's get into it. If they posted it on social
media. If they posted it on social
media, if they posted it on social media, then they made it
our business. And since they made it our
business, we go make it our business, Yes.
Now let's get into the very first story for this episode.
Dear Ekia, I need your opinion. I just finished my national
diploma and I'm a Muslim and in love with a Christian girl I met
in school and also a course meet during school period.
We were so close that everyone thought we were dating but just
friends deep inside me. I kept say off my mind and she
even introduced me to her mom as a friend.
Yeah please help me. I keep dreaming of her almost
every day that we are together. The problem now is that I'm
afraid to see to avoid destroying our relationship and
she's an introvert too. Please help me, I love her so
much. I'm afraid of losing her.
If I should tell her my mind and the feelings she might reject
and end a friendship. Or your family members know me
as her friend. You see, there's something that
distinguishes the two of you, and that is going to be a
problem. I cannot feel like there are few
things that makes people uncompatible, and religion is
one of those things. If both of you do not agree on
the same thing in terms of religion, that itself is a major
thing. Who is going to convert to what?
Are you guys going to agree to be in your religion, you know,
separately what is going to happen?
I need you to think about all these things before you jump
into a relationship. That's because whatever
conversation I'm having here with everyone is not based on
inshallah relationship. I want people to get into
relationship with the intentions of spending the rest of their
lives with them. So it's not a joke.
And so do you see yourself in the end marrying here or this is
just your stomach and your heart, you know, telling you
what to do? You understand?
Apply some knowledge, apply some wisdom.
You're a Muslim man. Are you willing to convert to
her religion or she's willing to convert to us?
I think you should have a, a second thought about this.
Think about what exactly you want in the long run in a
relationship. And if she checks all those
boxes, Dijon, how you're feeling, then you go ahead.
But if she doesn't, it means you need to look somewhere else.
OK, Let's love. It let's love it.
Dear Akia, please keep me anonymous please.
I and my boyfriend had been dating for a year now and we've
been good. He supports me, he's kind and he
makes sure I'm good. Even give me money to start a
business and all. He's been good to me only to
find out a month ago that he has been cheating on me with several
different women. I'm mostly home with him not
knowing when he tells me he's out with the boys.
He's out there in hotels with other women.
I found out through his phone. She had countless sex tips of
them with him while I was home with him.
Even after confronting him, he was angry.
I went through his phone and later said he's a man and every
man she'd say Jesus Jesus, Jesus Jesus.
No. No fucking remorse in any way.
This is the end of that story, you know?
Fucking remorse. Nothing.
Listen, as a young woman, what I need you to take out of your
head is the notion that every man cheats.
I don't care what you think. I really don't care what you
think out there, OK? I know that after this video
some of the men will come and see whatever they say, but I
don't care. Not every man cheats.
OK, not every man cheats. There may be a handful, but not
every man cheats. Any man that has that mentality
in their brain. Oh my God.
I told you guys that some time ago.
I didn't really accept cheating. As if you cheat.
I'll stay if you cheat. No, I didn't.
I don't care if you cheat once I'm gone, but as I've said in a
previous, what do you call it episode, someone gave me another
perspective and I understood that perspective from the way
that the person cheats. And then you go inside.
It's maybe there's a specific reason which is not good enough,
but can make you give the person the benefit of the doubt, hoping
you will not do it again. And when a person does it again,
that's where you pick up your things and you walk.
Not every man cheats This is multiple times and this one has
no remorse and it's telling you that don't talk about it.
Don't talk about it every month cheats.
If you leave me we meet another one that cheats and that is his
whole reason excuse and he keeps cheating and cheating and
cheating and cheating. Please no cheating is not a a a
a a God giving thing. OK, it's not No, not every man
cheats, my dear. This one, the red flag.
It was like one time, you know, you sat down to have a
conversation and you lose. He give you something tangible
that you could stand on and give me a benefit of the doubt.
That's different. Multiple women, multiple sex
tapes. And his next line of action is
why did you pick my phone? Ying Ying, Ying Ying When going
Shusha was telling you something was wrong.
Like I said, you should sit on it and doubt your own
intelligence. So come in now, Make it about
the phone, and now when you know you have no escape, make it
about the fact that you were a man and so you are allowed to.
Who told? You that dear.
I would love to get your response on this issue.
So I've been in a relationship with this lady for a very long
time and just few days ago and phone was with me and I
accidentally opened a chat. Guess what I found this lady had
been flirting with a man for quite a long time and older
enough to be her uncle or Big Brother kind of man.
But that wasn't my problem because I've been flirting too.
The problem here is I left the chat on the phone
unintentionally so she found out that I've been I've seen
everything but since that day she hasn't been responding to me
like she used to and The funny thing is she doesn't even talk
about it. I want to know if it's wrong for
going through her phone because she does seem to me anytime and
I don't understand this behaviour of hers not responding
to me lately. She's putting her defences on.
She knows what she has done is wrong and instead of owning up
to it and then coming for a conversation knowing very well
that you've gone through the phone, she's trying to phone see
leaving you to stop texting. See how she's good because this
is rubbish. You messed up.
OK, and funny enough for you, your mom says, well, I fled too,
so that's fake. Instead of actually having a
conversation about say, you know, bring it up and see a
response. But I know very well that she's
going to put up a defence, you know?
Yeah, she's going to put up a defence as a she's she's
fighting to be in the right place and she's also going to
make it about why did you go through my phone?
But then she has forgotten that she also goes through yours.
Give me anonymous. I'm in my 4th relationship now
currently and the relationship with one of my course mates.
He's not from a good financial background such that sometimes
he even borrows money from me. One thing about him is that when
he gets money he supports. In fact we support each other.
In terms of finances. By the time I complete school
and national service I'll be 25. I've also I also want to be
married by 28 but I am afraid that by that time he won't be
able to marry me. I don't know whether I am
wasting my time with him. Sometimes I feel like we are
just a situation ship because when I was at the lowest point
of my life where I was dealing with broken hearts and an
illness, he was the one who was consoling me.
One day we kissed him that is when we started dating.
I saw the kiss. I told him I love him and he
also said sing. At the time I was going through
a lot and that's why I just said I love him In school.
I support a lot in terms of food because most of the times he
doesn't have money. I don't know whether I should
wait for Debbie Debbie the year or I should move on.
One thing that bothers me is his family.
They don't want to work but always like to beg, especially
his mother. My guy has tried his best and
give give her capital but she always squanders the money owing
it. Owing to all these, I am even
scared to marry into such a family because I feel like even
if we're able to make it, we both will never have peace due
to family bedding. I think your problem here is
that you may be scared of what the future looks like with him.
Not that you don't love him, but even your orchard is like, you
are trying to convince yourself that you don't love him enough
to be able to walk away from him and not feel bad about it.
But feeling bad about it is all part of the process.
OK. Now, one thing I had told you
for free is that this is something you can have a
conversation with him about. All right.
I know that as an African woman, you are told that when you're
marrying a man, you're marrying his whole family.
And so it it makes sense that you're thinking about it that
way, that, oh, the family is not helping him out.
He's doing everything and they're not putting in efforts.
But one thing a man, a young man told me some points is that,
yeah, I have a family and they're all on my neck and
they're all trying to survive on me.
And that is because at this moment they feel and think that
I don't have anybody in my life or I'm not dealing anybody.
I don't have a child anywhere or anything.
But best believe that when I have a child and I have a wife
or I have someone in my life, I'm not going to be doing the
same things I'm doing again. And they're aware of it and I've
told them a confessed times. So it's also all dependence on
the man you're with. Is he hard working?
One, if he is hard working there, you don't have to give up
on him. If he has plans for himself,
then you don't have to, you know, give up on him.
You just need to have a conversation with him.
But you need to be very careful when you're talking about his
mother. He was when the mother was
suffering, you were not there and the mother was suffering to
give birth to him. Take care of him school, you
know make him make sure he goes to school before he met you and
not there so you can't up and see the mother is lazy or this
because you know things are not working out and mothers are
always going to be mothers respective of their behaviour
respective or whatever. You just need to be able to know
how to work around it. That is if you want to build a
life for this man. But if you don't, that is why
you will see all the bad things the mother is doing.
But I'm not saying that don't take into consideration their
family's behaviour because that is also way to play a very major
role in whatever you guys end up doing.
What I'm just simply saying is that talk to your man and after
talking to him, you definitely will know his train of thoughts
to be able to know whether when the time comes he's going to be
defending his own family that he's building or he'll go back
to defending his manner and siblings and whoever wants to
distract his life. Because that thing, there is no
good way. You have family members that are
not willing to work and they're alleging of the most hard
working person. It always almost drains the
disaster. Do you understand?
That's love it. That's love it.
Dear Akia, I'm a 34 year old woman and I'm not married and
don't have kids either. I work with a reputable company
in Ghana. I can confidently say that I'm
financially OK. I've been with my partner for
four years. He cheated on me when we first
met and even had a child with the leader.
He apologized and told me it was a mistake.
This happened in the year 2021. I accepted his apology and he
promised to do the marital needful thing.
But it's been three years and he keeps saying he's not
financially stable. Meanwhile he's a building
contractor. Since I met him, he has built
four different houses for people living abroad.
My problem now is he's been acting so cool and distanced
towards me. I sense that he's cheating on me
and I've been trying too hard to get a hold of a concrete
evidence. But he's playing smart.
I don't know whether he's going out with his baby Mama or a
different person. Please, I need advice.
Don't judge me, I will be in a conversation.
Why would I judge you? What have you done?
You've not done anything wrong.
You love somebody. The person offended and you saw
it as an offence and you don't have a problem with that and you
have been forgiving him. But he is being silly again.
Nobody can. Who is who bit No, no, no
judgement here. I don't think you'd need any
more evidence that this man doesn't really care about you
because we meet and in the first year we meet, you get someone
pregnant and the person gives birth for you whilst you're with
me and it's been over three years and you claim you're not
financially stable. Yeah, the man in the comment
section, please answer this. Is he wasting her time or not?
Does he love it or not? You Anka, Saudi guys, please
help me out, OK? Because sitting from where I'm
sitting, I don't think he loves her.
I think maybe he lied you in the beginning.
But at some point, if we knew and he just didn't tell you, he
left his system and he just didn't tell you.
And he's keeping on with the relationship.
Unless like, you're the one that he can consistently step on to
misbehavior, you will forgive. Do you understand?
Let's love. It Let's love it dear.
Keep me anonymous. I met a lady in level 100.
We started as friends, she's my coursemate.
We've become close to the extent of having to sleep with each
other. We are not even dating fast away
level 500. She financially fast away level
500. She finally accepted us to date
and there's a problem happening on her side when we're not in a
relationship she has. She was having intimacy with her
ex-boyfriend and she told me she has cut down all those tires
since we started dating but we don't trust him and so I've been
spying on her and I found out that she's having a secret
affair with her ex again. Do I have decided not to
confront her because I've done that before and she got bored
because I went through her WhatsApp chat this time.
I have evidence of their chat and whatever happens between she
and her ex. Screenshots saved on my as
evidence if someday we have to part with.
Honestly, I don't feel in love for her because of what she has
been doing, but I'm still with her because she's a good lady,
generous, caring, brilliance. Just that her ex keeps
interfering in the relationship. She's still obsessed with him.
She doesn't know I know everything that she's doing.
Another thing I have observed is the fact that she is also
considering one. They are from the same time but
the ex is working in kumasu too. Her ex is working and in case
she's ready to marry, the ex will be an option for her Three.
But I also think her ex is using her since their breakup was the
girl's fault. What do you think?
I think your girl needs a sitting down, a clarity check
and you say you don't love her again.
So I think the best you can do is to give her that clarity
check and leave her. If she still ends up in her ex's
arms, yeah, she will end up then be used at the end of the day.
OK, She fucked up by still entertaining the ex when you
guys became official because when you guys were not official,
you did not owe anybody, you know each other, their
commitments to be with each other alone.
Since you guys officially became boyfriend, girlfriend, and the
intention is to actually settle down.
That is, if that's a lot, it is because when I'm talking, I'm
talking from the, you know, perspective was settling down
because that's what I do here. I don't do any situation
bullshit. If you're dating somebody, the
idea is to end up together, to end up getting married because
that is the essence of dating. That is the essence of
courtship, whatever, you know, that's the essence of a man and
a woman coming together to know each other.
You understand? So if it's not working, please
don't entertain it. Don't keep her there because you
think she's a good woman where you don't love her and see a
future with her. OK, Yeah.
That's lovely. That's lovely dear.
Please keep me anonymous. I met this guy in level 100.
Initially the plan was he would help me in my dynamics until I
complete school. Along the line we got attached
and started sleeping together. Now this guy helps me in any
ways he can. He provides for me and treats me
like his girlfriend. But the problem is he hasn't
asked me out. When I asked him, he said he
isn't mentally and financially capable of having a
relationship. I'm really into this guy, I
don't know if I should leave him or stay till he's ready.
He also doesn't understand why we need to put titles on what we
have. I don't know what to do because
I don't want to lose him and I don't know how to move on.
He's been two years now and it's the longest attachment I have
had with someone. Please, I need your opinion.
Listen, like I said with the other story, I don't deal with
any situation. She bullshaped here.
If he's not ready to put a title on it, then it's you.
It's not like he doesn't want it to.
I recently learned that when you're with somebody and the
person you know, you guys are getting intimate, you guys are
getting low sexual, You guys are talking on a daily basis and
this guy still goes. I had to tell you that I really
don't know how to do we know I don't want us to put a title on
it. What is the title?
This choice or we have That's a lie because every man that loves
a woman would want to keep it for himself.
I so wouldn't want that situation where he will not
actually officially ask you to be the girlfriend and then also
not Cindy, but they tell him that but you never asked me out.
We are not officially dating. He wants to be able to have that
black and white. So this is my girlfriend.
Every man that likes you. OK, so if he's not putting a
label on it, he doesn't really like you, you can keep on having
a casual relationship with him by being high.
Have I don't get into meet with him again.
Don't get sexual with him again. I think that this is a wake up
call for all of us, for we all women.
If this man is not clear as to what exactly he wants with you,
don't have sex with him. If you've done it before, don't
do it again, OK? If you know you like him to the
extent that when you see him, you get weak in the legs and
everything is watery down there, it's it's your body is weak,
your body mind. So everything is weak for him.
But try your best. Hold yourself, OK, Let him be
able to label whatever you guys are having.
Let him tell you his intentions for you.
OK, That's when idiot you may end up feeling like I used you
understand me? While he told you exactly what
he wanted. He just didn't listen.
Let's. Love.
It. Let's love it dear Ekya.
I've been through a lot. My mother was going through
heartbreak for my father. So anytime she gets angry I'm
the one who suffers for it. The woman always tells me she
hates me. She uses cutlass more broom to
beat the hell out of me anytime she's upset.
All this got me really scared of her.
She had never mentioned my name before.
She calls me Hey Madam, the evil secretary and Minnie more.
Fast forward, so the first time I was in class 41 messy for
Wednesday. I was on my way home after
school when a man approached me. Mind you, I sell tomatoes after
school so the man was probably my customer.
So he showed me his house and asked me to bring him five of
these tomatoes to him. I agree and later brought the
tomatoes to his veranda. Immediately I entered he came
out of the room and locked the veranda.
I asked him to let me out but he said he will buy all the
tomatoes but he has to sleep with me before I refuse.
So he forced and raped me. After he raped me he bought all
the tomatoes and gave me extra money and asked me not to tell
anybody. He strangled me a bit and told
me this will happen to me if I tell anyone.
I was heads down there and traumatized.
I couldn't tell anyone so I kept it to myself.
I got ready the next day for school since I couldn't tell
anyone what happened. The day ended and it was time to
go home. The time I got to the school
gates, lo and behold, this one was waiting for me and nearly
fainted. He looked me.
He took me to his house and raped me again.
He raped me many times. So immediately I got to class 5,
I'll just start from home and go to the Bush and sit there.
This went on for three months before the school.
He phoned my mom. That day was my funeral.
She beat the living daylights out of me.
She made me stay home for two years and I pleaded with my
mother to send me to public school nearby and she agreed.
Mind you my grandmother was in the same house with us.
But if she talks about how my mother is treating me, they will
use me as keen to beat her too. So ask her to stay out of my
businesses. And I never saw the man again.
I don't even know the area. His days to sell.
Fast forward, I go to classes and realized white stuff coming
out of my vagina every day. I live with it for a long time
now. I know STD but the money I make
from selling is not enough to go to a big hospital.
I've been treating it for years and now he's not going.
I need help. I have a lot to say about this
but my camera battery is low. My dear, at this point you need
to go see a gynecologist, OK? I know it's big money, but you
need to find a way because the woman, your fertility and all
other things are around those things.
So please, OK, text me again if you see this story.
Let's see what we can do. Raping children class 5.
Let me just keep quiet. Rape class 4.
Thank you for watching this episode.
I'm super excited that I do episodes for you guys to watch.
I love you guys so much. Don't forget to share your
opinion in the comments section and over there to subscribe.
Thank you. My name is Anika Depa I please
share father's to watch. I'll see you in the next
episode. Let's get 500 views on this.
Bye. Yeah.