1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,800
Whatever conversation I'm having
here with everyone is not based 

2
00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:07,920
on Isha Allah relationship. 
I want people to get into 

3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:11,040
relationship with the intentions
of spending the rest of their 

4
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,880
lives with them. 
So it's not a joke she's putting

5
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,640
her defenses on. 
She knows what she has done is 

6
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:21,440
wrong and instead of owning up 
to it and then coming for a 

7
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,040
conversation knowing very well 
that you've gone through the 

8
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:32,880
phone, she's trying to form 
raping children classifieds. 

9
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:40,480
Let me just keep quiet is a man 
and every man she's sick. 

10
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,560
Hi, let's read some stories. 
My name is Anika Depander and 

11
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,000
this is the Pure View podcast 
where we have one simple 

12
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,800
assignment and that is to read 
some stories to you and share 

13
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,400
our opinion right here in the 
episode while you share yours in

14
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,320
the comments section. 
If you haven't subscribed, 

15
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,240
please do subscribe. 
Now let's get into the mantra 

16
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:16,200
for the show. 
Now the mantra is basically a 

17
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,840
pledge or an something. 
Yeah, it's a pledge. 

18
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,120
Now, the mantra is basically a 
pledge where we tell the people 

19
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:28,440
that send us the stories that we
respect what they've sent to us 

20
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,560
and we're going to be as nice as
possible. 

21
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:35,480
But if they themselves messed up
in this situation, we're going 

22
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,520
to tell them. 
We're going to be truthful to 

23
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:42,120
them because since they sent it 
to us, now it has become our 

24
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:46,080
business and let's get into it. 
If they posted it on social 

25
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,720
media. 
If they posted it on social 

26
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:53,320
media, if they posted it on 
social media, then they made it 

27
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,080
our business. 
And since they made it our 

28
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,480
business, we go make it our 
business, Yes. 

29
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:04,320
Now let's get into the very 
first story for this episode. 

30
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,640
Dear Ekia, I need your opinion. 
I just finished my national 

31
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:18,000
diploma and I'm a Muslim and in 
love with a Christian girl I met

32
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,640
in school and also a course meet
during school period. 

33
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:26,120
We were so close that everyone 
thought we were dating but just 

34
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:30,280
friends deep inside me. 
I kept say off my mind and she 

35
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,680
even introduced me to her mom as
a friend. 

36
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,760
Yeah please help me. 
I keep dreaming of her almost 

37
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,440
every day that we are together. 
The problem now is that I'm 

38
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,240
afraid to see to avoid 
destroying our relationship and 

39
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:49,040
she's an introvert too. 
Please help me, I love her so 

40
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,920
much. 
I'm afraid of losing her. 

41
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:55,600
If I should tell her my mind and
the feelings she might reject 

42
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,560
and end a friendship. 
Or your family members know me 

43
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:07,680
as her friend. 
You see, there's something that 

44
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,320
distinguishes the two of you, 
and that is going to be a 

45
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,280
problem. 
I cannot feel like there are few

46
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:19,840
things that makes people 
uncompatible, and religion is 

47
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,920
one of those things. 
If both of you do not agree on 

48
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:30,000
the same thing in terms of 
religion, that itself is a major

49
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,640
thing. 
Who is going to convert to what?

50
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:35,320
Are you guys going to agree to 
be in your religion, you know, 

51
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,600
separately what is going to 
happen? 

52
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,720
I need you to think about all 
these things before you jump 

53
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,200
into a relationship. 
That's because whatever 

54
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,360
conversation I'm having here 
with everyone is not based on 

55
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,800
inshallah relationship. 
I want people to get into 

56
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,920
relationship with the intentions
of spending the rest of their 

57
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,720
lives with them. 
So it's not a joke. 

58
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,800
And so do you see yourself in 
the end marrying here or this is

59
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,800
just your stomach and your 
heart, you know, telling you 

60
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,560
what to do? 
You understand? 

61
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,560
Apply some knowledge, apply some
wisdom. 

62
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:11,320
You're a Muslim man. 
Are you willing to convert to 

63
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,920
her religion or she's willing to
convert to us? 

64
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:17,000
I think you should have a, a 
second thought about this. 

65
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,640
Think about what exactly you 
want in the long run in a 

66
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,839
relationship. 
And if she checks all those 

67
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,960
boxes, Dijon, how you're 
feeling, then you go ahead. 

68
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,880
But if she doesn't, it means you
need to look somewhere else. 

69
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,960
OK, Let's love. 
It let's love it. 

70
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,280
Dear Akia, please keep me 
anonymous please. 

71
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:39,440
I and my boyfriend had been 
dating for a year now and we've 

72
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,880
been good. 
He supports me, he's kind and he

73
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,800
makes sure I'm good. 
Even give me money to start a 

74
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,000
business and all. 
He's been good to me only to 

75
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,040
find out a month ago that he has
been cheating on me with several

76
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,520
different women. 
I'm mostly home with him not 

77
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,240
knowing when he tells me he's 
out with the boys. 

78
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,960
He's out there in hotels with 
other women. 

79
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,400
I found out through his phone. 
She had countless sex tips of 

80
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,280
them with him while I was home 
with him. 

81
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,400
Even after confronting him, he 
was angry. 

82
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:15,560
I went through his phone and 
later said he's a man and every 

83
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:20,960
man she'd say Jesus Jesus, Jesus
Jesus. 

84
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:29,360
No. 
No fucking remorse in any way. 

85
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,720
This is the end of that story, 
you know? 

86
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,520
Fucking remorse. 
Nothing. 

87
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,720
Listen, as a young woman, what I
need you to take out of your 

88
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,480
head is the notion that every 
man cheats. 

89
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,480
I don't care what you think. 
I really don't care what you 

90
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,600
think out there, OK? 
I know that after this video 

91
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,800
some of the men will come and 
see whatever they say, but I 

92
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,640
don't care. 
Not every man cheats. 

93
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:02,200
OK, not every man cheats. 
There may be a handful, but not 

94
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:08,360
every man cheats. 
Any man that has that mentality 

95
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,280
in their brain. 
Oh my God. 

96
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,160
I told you guys that some time 
ago. 

97
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:20,480
I didn't really accept cheating.
As if you cheat. 

98
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,720
I'll stay if you cheat. 
No, I didn't. 

99
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:27,600
I don't care if you cheat once 
I'm gone, but as I've said in a 

100
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:32,400
previous, what do you call it 
episode, someone gave me another

101
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,040
perspective and I understood 
that perspective from the way 

102
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,840
that the person cheats. 
And then you go inside. 

103
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,680
It's maybe there's a specific 
reason which is not good enough,

104
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,680
but can make you give the person
the benefit of the doubt, hoping

105
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,120
you will not do it again. 
And when a person does it again,

106
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,200
that's where you pick up your 
things and you walk. 

107
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,920
Not every man cheats This is 
multiple times and this one has 

108
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,400
no remorse and it's telling you 
that don't talk about it. 

109
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,520
Don't talk about it every month 
cheats. 

110
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,080
If you leave me we meet another 
one that cheats and that is his 

111
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,680
whole reason excuse and he keeps
cheating and cheating and 

112
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:15,160
cheating and cheating. 
Please no cheating is not a a a 

113
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:24,360
a a God giving thing. 
OK, it's not No, not every man 

114
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,000
cheats, my dear. 
This one, the red flag. 

115
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,800
It was like one time, you know, 
you sat down to have a 

116
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,520
conversation and you lose. 
He give you something tangible 

117
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,720
that you could stand on and give
me a benefit of the doubt. 

118
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,480
That's different. 
Multiple women, multiple sex 

119
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,440
tapes. 
And his next line of action is 

120
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,040
why did you pick my phone? 
Ying Ying, Ying Ying When going 

121
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,400
Shusha was telling you something
was wrong. 

122
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,120
Like I said, you should sit on 
it and doubt your own 

123
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,680
intelligence. 
So come in now, Make it about 

124
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,720
the phone, and now when you know
you have no escape, make it 

125
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,920
about the fact that you were a 
man and so you are allowed to. 

126
00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:06,840
Who told? 
You that dear. 

127
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,720
I would love to get your 
response on this issue. 

128
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,200
So I've been in a relationship 
with this lady for a very long 

129
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,480
time and just few days ago and 
phone was with me and I 

130
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:21,600
accidentally opened a chat. 
Guess what I found this lady had

131
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,400
been flirting with a man for 
quite a long time and older 

132
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,480
enough to be her uncle or Big 
Brother kind of man. 

133
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,840
But that wasn't my problem 
because I've been flirting too. 

134
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,280
The problem here is I left the 
chat on the phone 

135
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,440
unintentionally so she found out
that I've been I've seen 

136
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,120
everything but since that day 
she hasn't been responding to me

137
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:47,320
like she used to and The funny 
thing is she doesn't even talk 

138
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,360
about it. 
I want to know if it's wrong for

139
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,720
going through her phone because 
she does seem to me anytime and 

140
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,960
I don't understand this 
behaviour of hers not responding

141
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:03,200
to me lately. 
She's putting her defences on. 

142
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,520
She knows what she has done is 
wrong and instead of owning up 

143
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,600
to it and then coming for a 
conversation knowing very well 

144
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,680
that you've gone through the 
phone, she's trying to phone see

145
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,360
leaving you to stop texting. 
See how she's good because this 

146
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,920
is rubbish. 
You messed up. 

147
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,640
OK, and funny enough for you, 
your mom says, well, I fled too,

148
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,600
so that's fake. 
Instead of actually having a 

149
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,320
conversation about say, you 
know, bring it up and see a 

150
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,280
response. 
But I know very well that she's 

151
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,800
going to put up a defence, you 
know? 

152
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,680
Yeah, she's going to put up a 
defence as a she's she's 

153
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,160
fighting to be in the right 
place and she's also going to 

154
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,120
make it about why did you go 
through my phone? 

155
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,360
But then she has forgotten that 
she also goes through yours. 

156
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:58,240
Give me anonymous. 
I'm in my 4th relationship now 

157
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,160
currently and the relationship 
with one of my course mates. 

158
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,440
He's not from a good financial 
background such that sometimes 

159
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,960
he even borrows money from me. 
One thing about him is that when

160
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,200
he gets money he supports. 
In fact we support each other. 

161
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,520
In terms of finances. 
By the time I complete school 

162
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,680
and national service I'll be 25.
I've also I also want to be 

163
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:22,560
married by 28 but I am afraid 
that by that time he won't be 

164
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,520
able to marry me. 
I don't know whether I am 

165
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,920
wasting my time with him. 
Sometimes I feel like we are 

166
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,480
just a situation ship because 
when I was at the lowest point 

167
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,400
of my life where I was dealing 
with broken hearts and an 

168
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,800
illness, he was the one who was 
consoling me. 

169
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,320
One day we kissed him that is 
when we started dating. 

170
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,920
I saw the kiss. 
I told him I love him and he 

171
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,360
also said sing. 
At the time I was going through 

172
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,520
a lot and that's why I just said
I love him In school. 

173
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,480
I support a lot in terms of food
because most of the times he 

174
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,640
doesn't have money. 
I don't know whether I should 

175
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,360
wait for Debbie Debbie the year 
or I should move on. 

176
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,000
One thing that bothers me is his
family. 

177
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,600
They don't want to work but 
always like to beg, especially 

178
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,600
his mother. 
My guy has tried his best and 

179
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:14,200
give give her capital but she 
always squanders the money owing

180
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,400
it. 
Owing to all these, I am even 

181
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,920
scared to marry into such a 
family because I feel like even 

182
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,440
if we're able to make it, we 
both will never have peace due 

183
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,200
to family bedding. 
I think your problem here is 

184
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:33,640
that you may be scared of what 
the future looks like with him. 

185
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:38,200
Not that you don't love him, but
even your orchard is like, you 

186
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,760
are trying to convince yourself 
that you don't love him enough 

187
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,600
to be able to walk away from him
and not feel bad about it. 

188
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,320
But feeling bad about it is all 
part of the process. 

189
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,680
OK. 
Now, one thing I had told you 

190
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,760
for free is that this is 
something you can have a 

191
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,760
conversation with him about. 
All right. 

192
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,680
I know that as an African woman,
you are told that when you're 

193
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,040
marrying a man, you're marrying 
his whole family. 

194
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,080
And so it it makes sense that 
you're thinking about it that 

195
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,760
way, that, oh, the family is not
helping him out. 

196
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,800
He's doing everything and 
they're not putting in efforts. 

197
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,280
But one thing a man, a young man
told me some points is that, 

198
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:23,160
yeah, I have a family and 
they're all on my neck and 

199
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,440
they're all trying to survive on
me. 

200
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,360
And that is because at this 
moment they feel and think that 

201
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,120
I don't have anybody in my life 
or I'm not dealing anybody. 

202
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,960
I don't have a child anywhere or
anything. 

203
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:39,400
But best believe that when I 
have a child and I have a wife 

204
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:45,000
or I have someone in my life, 
I'm not going to be doing the 

205
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,520
same things I'm doing again. 
And they're aware of it and I've

206
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,040
told them a confessed times. 
So it's also all dependence on 

207
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,360
the man you're with. 
Is he hard working? 

208
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,560
One, if he is hard working 
there, you don't have to give up

209
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,640
on him. 
If he has plans for himself, 

210
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,400
then you don't have to, you 
know, give up on him. 

211
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,280
You just need to have a 
conversation with him. 

212
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,520
But you need to be very careful 
when you're talking about his 

213
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,520
mother. 
He was when the mother was 

214
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,000
suffering, you were not there 
and the mother was suffering to 

215
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,520
give birth to him. 
Take care of him school, you 

216
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,960
know make him make sure he goes 
to school before he met you and 

217
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:24,920
not there so you can't up and 
see the mother is lazy or this 

218
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,800
because you know things are not 
working out and mothers are 

219
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,200
always going to be mothers 
respective of their behaviour 

220
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,720
respective or whatever. 
You just need to be able to know

221
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,200
how to work around it. 
That is if you want to build a 

222
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,520
life for this man. 
But if you don't, that is why 

223
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,080
you will see all the bad things 
the mother is doing. 

224
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,080
But I'm not saying that don't 
take into consideration their 

225
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,200
family's behaviour because that 
is also way to play a very major

226
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,920
role in whatever you guys end up
doing. 

227
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,280
What I'm just simply saying is 
that talk to your man and after 

228
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,400
talking to him, you definitely 
will know his train of thoughts 

229
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:02,000
to be able to know whether when 
the time comes he's going to be 

230
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,760
defending his own family that 
he's building or he'll go back 

231
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,800
to defending his manner and 
siblings and whoever wants to 

232
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,680
distract his life. 
Because that thing, there is no 

233
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,720
good way. 
You have family members that are

234
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:18,360
not willing to work and they're 
alleging of the most hard 

235
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,280
working person. 
It always almost drains the 

236
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,400
disaster. 
Do you understand? 

237
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,440
That's love it. 
That's love it. 

238
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,600
Dear Akia, I'm a 34 year old 
woman and I'm not married and 

239
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,680
don't have kids either. 
I work with a reputable company 

240
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,080
in Ghana. 
I can confidently say that I'm 

241
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,640
financially OK. 
I've been with my partner for 

242
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,840
four years. 
He cheated on me when we first 

243
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,200
met and even had a child with 
the leader. 

244
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,480
He apologized and told me it was
a mistake. 

245
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,680
This happened in the year 2021. 
I accepted his apology and he 

246
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,840
promised to do the marital 
needful thing. 

247
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,840
But it's been three years and he
keeps saying he's not 

248
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,040
financially stable. 
Meanwhile he's a building 

249
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,040
contractor. 
Since I met him, he has built 

250
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,080
four different houses for people
living abroad. 

251
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,480
My problem now is he's been 
acting so cool and distanced 

252
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,120
towards me. 
I sense that he's cheating on me

253
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:16,320
and I've been trying too hard to
get a hold of a concrete 

254
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,840
evidence. 
But he's playing smart. 

255
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,880
I don't know whether he's going 
out with his baby Mama or a 

256
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,760
different person. 
Please, I need advice. 

257
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,680
Don't judge me, I will be in a 
conversation. 

258
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,360
Why would I judge you? 
What have you done? 

259
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,800
What have you done? 
You've not done anything wrong. 

260
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,600
You love somebody. 
The person offended and you saw 

261
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:39,320
it as an offence and you don't 
have a problem with that and you

262
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,400
have been forgiving him. 
But he is being silly again. 

263
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,560
Nobody can. 
Who is who bit No, no, no 

264
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:52,000
judgement here. 
I don't think you'd need any 

265
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,240
more evidence that this man 
doesn't really care about you 

266
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:02,880
because we meet and in the first
year we meet, you get someone 

267
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:07,120
pregnant and the person gives 
birth for you whilst you're with

268
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:15,520
me and it's been over three 
years and you claim you're not 

269
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:24,880
financially stable. 
Yeah, the man in the comment 

270
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:29,160
section, please answer this. 
Is he wasting her time or not? 

271
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,920
Does he love it or not? 
You Anka, Saudi guys, please 

272
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,240
help me out, OK? 
Because sitting from where I'm 

273
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,680
sitting, I don't think he loves 
her. 

274
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,280
I think maybe he lied you in the
beginning. 

275
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,280
But at some point, if we knew 
and he just didn't tell you, he 

276
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,240
left his system and he just 
didn't tell you. 

277
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,760
And he's keeping on with the 
relationship. 

278
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,120
Unless like, you're the one that
he can consistently step on to 

279
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,880
misbehavior, you will forgive. 
Do you understand? 

280
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,560
Let's love. 
It Let's love it dear. 

281
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,880
Keep me anonymous. 
I met a lady in level 100. 

282
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,160
We started as friends, she's my 
coursemate. 

283
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,400
We've become close to the extent
of having to sleep with each 

284
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,200
other. 
We are not even dating fast away

285
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,800
level 500. 
She financially fast away level 

286
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,480
500. 
She finally accepted us to date 

287
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:22,119
and there's a problem happening 
on her side when we're not in a 

288
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:26,680
relationship she has. 
She was having intimacy with her

289
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:30,680
ex-boyfriend and she told me she
has cut down all those tires 

290
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,680
since we started dating but we 
don't trust him and so I've been

291
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,720
spying on her and I found out 
that she's having a secret 

292
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,080
affair with her ex again. 
Do I have decided not to 

293
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:44,040
confront her because I've done 
that before and she got bored 

294
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,920
because I went through her 
WhatsApp chat this time. 

295
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,760
I have evidence of their chat 
and whatever happens between she

296
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,400
and her ex. 
Screenshots saved on my as 

297
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,760
evidence if someday we have to 
part with. 

298
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,000
Honestly, I don't feel in love 
for her because of what she has 

299
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,160
been doing, but I'm still with 
her because she's a good lady, 

300
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,400
generous, caring, brilliance. 
Just that her ex keeps 

301
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,520
interfering in the relationship.
She's still obsessed with him. 

302
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,280
She doesn't know I know 
everything that she's doing. 

303
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:17,320
Another thing I have observed is
the fact that she is also 

304
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,840
considering one. 
They are from the same time but 

305
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:25,000
the ex is working in kumasu too.
Her ex is working and in case 

306
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,440
she's ready to marry, the ex 
will be an option for her Three.

307
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,760
But I also think her ex is using
her since their breakup was the 

308
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,560
girl's fault. 
What do you think? 

309
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,080
I think your girl needs a 
sitting down, a clarity check 

310
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,960
and you say you don't love her 
again. 

311
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,040
So I think the best you can do 
is to give her that clarity 

312
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,560
check and leave her. 
If she still ends up in her ex's

313
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,280
arms, yeah, she will end up then
be used at the end of the day. 

314
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:55,480
OK, She fucked up by still 
entertaining the ex when you 

315
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,160
guys became official because 
when you guys were not official,

316
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,120
you did not owe anybody, you 
know each other, their 

317
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,800
commitments to be with each 
other alone. 

318
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,320
Since you guys officially became
boyfriend, girlfriend, and the 

319
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,080
intention is to actually settle 
down. 

320
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,480
That is, if that's a lot, it is 
because when I'm talking, I'm 

321
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,080
talking from the, you know, 
perspective was settling down 

322
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,440
because that's what I do here. 
I don't do any situation 

323
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,720
bullshit. 
If you're dating somebody, the 

324
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,360
idea is to end up together, to 
end up getting married because 

325
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,000
that is the essence of dating. 
That is the essence of 

326
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,520
courtship, whatever, you know, 
that's the essence of a man and 

327
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,840
a woman coming together to know 
each other. 

328
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,560
You understand? 
So if it's not working, please 

329
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,000
don't entertain it. 
Don't keep her there because you

330
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,240
think she's a good woman where 
you don't love her and see a 

331
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,400
future with her. 
OK, Yeah. 

332
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,520
That's lovely. 
That's lovely dear. 

333
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:48,000
Please keep me anonymous. 
I met this guy in level 100. 

334
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,440
Initially the plan was he would 
help me in my dynamics until I 

335
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,480
complete school. 
Along the line we got attached 

336
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,440
and started sleeping together. 
Now this guy helps me in any 

337
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,760
ways he can. 
He provides for me and treats me

338
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,320
like his girlfriend. 
But the problem is he hasn't 

339
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,240
asked me out. 
When I asked him, he said he 

340
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,320
isn't mentally and financially 
capable of having a 

341
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,640
relationship. 
I'm really into this guy, I 

342
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,360
don't know if I should leave him
or stay till he's ready. 

343
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,600
He also doesn't understand why 
we need to put titles on what we

344
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,480
have. 
I don't know what to do because 

345
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,560
I don't want to lose him and I 
don't know how to move on. 

346
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,920
He's been two years now and it's
the longest attachment I have 

347
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,040
had with someone. 
Please, I need your opinion. 

348
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:35,000
Listen, like I said with the 
other story, I don't deal with 

349
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,760
any situation. 
She bullshaped here. 

350
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,480
If he's not ready to put a title
on it, then it's you. 

351
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,120
It's not like he doesn't want it
to. 

352
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,400
I recently learned that when 
you're with somebody and the 

353
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,200
person you know, you guys are 
getting intimate, you guys are 

354
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,600
getting low sexual, You guys are
talking on a daily basis and 

355
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,360
this guy still goes. 
I had to tell you that I really 

356
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:59,560
don't know how to do we know I 
don't want us to put a title on 

357
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,840
it. 
What is the title? 

358
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:06,000
This choice or we have That's a 
lie because every man that loves

359
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:10,320
a woman would want to keep it 
for himself. 

360
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,120
I so wouldn't want that 
situation where he will not 

361
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:16,960
actually officially ask you to 
be the girlfriend and then also 

362
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,440
not Cindy, but they tell him 
that but you never asked me out.

363
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,960
We are not officially dating. 
He wants to be able to have that

364
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,720
black and white. 
So this is my girlfriend. 

365
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:30,600
Every man that likes you. 
OK, so if he's not putting a 

366
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,120
label on it, he doesn't really 
like you, you can keep on having

367
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,120
a casual relationship with him 
by being high. 

368
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,720
Have I don't get into meet with 
him again. 

369
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,520
Don't get sexual with him again.
I think that this is a wake up 

370
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,240
call for all of us, for we all 
women. 

371
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,840
If this man is not clear as to 
what exactly he wants with you, 

372
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,160
don't have sex with him. 
If you've done it before, don't 

373
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,680
do it again, OK? 
If you know you like him to the 

374
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,600
extent that when you see him, 
you get weak in the legs and 

375
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:04,240
everything is watery down there,
it's it's your body is weak, 

376
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,880
your body mind. 
So everything is weak for him. 

377
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,200
But try your best. 
Hold yourself, OK, Let him be 

378
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,120
able to label whatever you guys 
are having. 

379
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,600
Let him tell you his intentions 
for you. 

380
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:22,800
OK, That's when idiot you may 
end up feeling like I used you 

381
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,040
understand me? 
While he told you exactly what 

382
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,320
he wanted. 
He just didn't listen. 

383
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,560
Let's. 
Love. 

384
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,040
It. 
Let's love it dear Ekya. 

385
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,280
I've been through a lot. 
My mother was going through 

386
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,240
heartbreak for my father. 
So anytime she gets angry I'm 

387
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,560
the one who suffers for it. 
The woman always tells me she 

388
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,560
hates me. 
She uses cutlass more broom to 

389
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,000
beat the hell out of me anytime 
she's upset. 

390
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,760
All this got me really scared of
her. 

391
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,560
She had never mentioned my name 
before. 

392
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:55,840
She calls me Hey Madam, the evil
secretary and Minnie more. 

393
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,280
Fast forward, so the first time 
I was in class 41 messy for 

394
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,760
Wednesday. 
I was on my way home after 

395
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,880
school when a man approached me.
Mind you, I sell tomatoes after 

396
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,800
school so the man was probably 
my customer. 

397
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:14,040
So he showed me his house and 
asked me to bring him five of 

398
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,360
these tomatoes to him. 
I agree and later brought the 

399
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,920
tomatoes to his veranda. 
Immediately I entered he came 

400
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,920
out of the room and locked the 
veranda. 

401
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:28,160
I asked him to let me out but he
said he will buy all the 

402
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,240
tomatoes but he has to sleep 
with me before I refuse. 

403
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,720
So he forced and raped me. 
After he raped me he bought all 

404
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,480
the tomatoes and gave me extra 
money and asked me not to tell 

405
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,280
anybody. 
He strangled me a bit and told 

406
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,840
me this will happen to me if I 
tell anyone. 

407
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,280
I was heads down there and 
traumatized. 

408
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,040
I couldn't tell anyone so I kept
it to myself. 

409
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,160
I got ready the next day for 
school since I couldn't tell 

410
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,160
anyone what happened. 
The day ended and it was time to

411
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,480
go home. 
The time I got to the school 

412
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,880
gates, lo and behold, this one 
was waiting for me and nearly 

413
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,760
fainted. 
He looked me. 

414
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,920
He took me to his house and 
raped me again. 

415
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,480
He raped me many times. 
So immediately I got to class 5,

416
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,520
I'll just start from home and go
to the Bush and sit there. 

417
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,840
This went on for three months 
before the school. 

418
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,040
He phoned my mom. 
That day was my funeral. 

419
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,840
She beat the living daylights 
out of me. 

420
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,920
She made me stay home for two 
years and I pleaded with my 

421
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,840
mother to send me to public 
school nearby and she agreed. 

422
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,120
Mind you my grandmother was in 
the same house with us. 

423
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,200
But if she talks about how my 
mother is treating me, they will

424
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,920
use me as keen to beat her too. 
So ask her to stay out of my 

425
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:42,080
businesses. 
And I never saw the man again. 

426
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,240
I don't even know the area. 
His days to sell. 

427
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,680
Fast forward, I go to classes 
and realized white stuff coming 

428
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,120
out of my vagina every day. 
I live with it for a long time 

429
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,480
now. 
I know STD but the money I make 

430
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,200
from selling is not enough to go
to a big hospital. 

431
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,960
I've been treating it for years 
and now he's not going. 

432
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:05,000
I need help. 
I have a lot to say about this 

433
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:13,000
but my camera battery is low. 
My dear, at this point you need 

434
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,400
to go see a gynecologist, OK? 
I know it's big money, but you 

435
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:23,040
need to find a way because the 
woman, your fertility and all 

436
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,960
other things are around those 
things. 

437
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,960
So please, OK, text me again if 
you see this story. 

438
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:37,880
Let's see what we can do. 
Raping children class 5. 

439
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:44,800
Let me just keep quiet. 
Rape class 4. 

440
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,000
Thank you for watching this 
episode. 

441
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,680
I'm super excited that I do 
episodes for you guys to watch. 

442
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,640
I love you guys so much. 
Don't forget to share your 

443
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,520
opinion in the comments section 
and over there to subscribe. 

444
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,440
Thank you. 
My name is Anika Depa I please 

445
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,560
share father's to watch. 
I'll see you in the next 

446
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,320
episode. 
Let's get 500 views on this. 

447
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:14,480
Bye. 
Yeah.

