1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:04,400 You cook, clean, wash for him. A common compliment you can't 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:10,240 get is this love? So this is love hey? 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,600 His so-called ex sent a video of them kissing. 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:18,960 When I asked him he said it was an old video that was two years 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,240 ago and the song they were singing was With You by Own One 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,960 and the video which was released this year. 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,000 He said they learnt the song before David sang it and 8 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:40,600 recorded Make Her Lie, Make Her Lie. 9 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,920 New week, a new episode. As usual, I'm here to let you 10 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,120 know what what's going on on social media and then also read 11 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,680 some threads like a few things that are going on on social 12 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,480 media. Now I have a thread right? 13 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,160 And this thread is coming from TikTok. 14 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,280 Basically I chanced on it when I found Iffenanya. 15 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,880 You know, when you you start watching something on your FYP 16 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,280 and then now your FYP feels like, hey, you enjoy those kind 17 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,680 of things so it brings them to you. 18 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:22,480 So I was enjoying Efunanya on TikTok and then they brought me 19 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,400 this particular thread. A young lady put on her TikTok 20 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:31,120 that what's that lie a guy told you that left you pep placed? 21 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,040 What's that lie that a guy told you that left you pep placed? 22 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:40,240 And this is the side loot you get as mango lie give you where 23 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,960 you go. First pause, move back small, 24 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,920 can't find small chest. Sit down. 25 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:49,200 Then you admire the talent. It means that this kind of light 26 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,560 can cripple you. Alright, so now the first one 27 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,280 says. He told me that he has never 28 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,080 cheated on me since we got married. 29 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,200 He kept saying it so we had four kids. 30 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,080 I believed him. One day he came home late at 31 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,680 night. He woke me up to show me some 32 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,880 blood stains. I got so scared and asked if he 33 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,920 had fought with anyone. He only asked me to take him to 34 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:17,120 the hospital, which I did. That night stroke morning, he 35 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,320 vomited 3 mineral bottles of blood. 36 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,440 I called his family after changing hospitals and we 37 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:23,840 started to take him to the village. 38 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,560 After consultation we're told that he slept with a lady that 39 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:32,680 had tender boot. They asked him the name of the 40 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,000 lady he slept with so that they can get solution and he 41 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,880 mentioned 7 different names. I told them not to listen 'cause 42 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:44,880 he might be suffering from loss of blood and all that because he 43 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,360 has never cheated on me and his parents said that I'm the one 44 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,000 that doesn't like to hear the truth. 45 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:54,160 My husband kept rubbing his hands together telling me he's 46 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,400 sorry. I couldn't believe my ears. 47 00:02:56,640 --> 00:03:01,840 Two hours later, he gave up. He left me with four kids at 29, 48 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,840 I now face my fear alone. No supporter, no capital, my 49 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,200 life so private that no one knows how I plan not to wake up 50 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,040 ever again. Why would you subject somebody's 51 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,480 child to this? Why would you? 52 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:22,000 You see why in my last week last week's episode, right somebody 53 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:27,880 said girls are running away from motherhood because they don't 54 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,560 want to be what to be disrespected and mocked. 55 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,280 See you see you there's somebody who come and write it in the in 56 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,960 my comment section that as a woman child matches your purpose 57 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,360 without that, yeah, yeah. You just say you have not You 58 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,880 see this rubbish. You see this rubbish. 59 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:49,520 First of what's the next one. He said that he was I saw at his 60 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:54,000 place was his own say in the way I'm if you want change over Gen. 61 00:03:54,080 --> 00:04:02,640 or NEPA like. That make her lie. 62 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:08,000 Make her lie. Oh no. 63 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,760 Came home and found strands of lash extensions on the bed which 64 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,520 I had none on me. I confronted this boy. 65 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,800 He said it was from his dog. Almost. 66 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,160 My brain stopped working for a while. 67 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,280 I like that you said boy not because what the helly? 68 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:36,520 What the helly? Oh God this one said his 69 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,080 so-called ex sent a video of them kissing. 70 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,720 When I asked him he said it was an old video. 71 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,920 That was two years ago and the song they were singing was With 72 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,480 You by Old One, the video which was released this year. 73 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,520 He said they learnt the song before David sang it and 74 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:05,080 recorded. See, let me teach you one thing 75 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,360 about lying. OK 'cause I think it's a bit to 76 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:14,240 learn that when you're lying, the tokro like find small space 77 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,400 on your end. So that one issue coming, just 78 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:21,680 jump into that. Oh 'cause what the hell this is 79 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:25,200 crazy. I saw earrings complete soon I 80 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:29,240 guess I removed them before sleeping Baba say in baya so 81 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,360 they use remove SIM card me some shock. 82 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,360 I video called him and a girl picked. 83 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,120 When I asked him he said it was a photo. 84 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:45,400 These are lies that men told women that perplexed them. 85 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,880 Like they sat down at work and saw. 86 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,320 The man said oh God you have talent. 87 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,360 You're busting my brain cause what the hell. 88 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,440 So crazy. This is the end of this 89 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,280 particular segment but I've laughed my heart out 'cause what 90 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,400 the hell is this? I'll see in the next segment we 91 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,760 are going to read stories from people that sent it to us so 92 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,680 that we can give our opinions on them. 93 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,480 And I call that part Yeah, yeah, we'll bring it back. 94 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,040 If they posted it on social media, if they posted it on 95 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,240 social media, if they posted it on social media, then they made 96 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,560 it our business. And since they made it our 97 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,880 business, we're going to make it our business. 98 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:26,040 This means that you've given me the opportunity, the audacity, 99 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,760 the temerity to talk about your situation. 100 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,040 But I'm not going to be disrespectful about it. 101 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,600 But if I need to also be me for you to understand that what 102 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,160 you're dealing with or how you're dealing with the 103 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,400 situation you're playing around with your life, I'll let you 104 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,160 know. So let's get straight into the 105 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,520 stories. Note that every story sent here 106 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,920 is anonymous until the person wants me to mention them. 107 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,480 So don't come to my DM asking me who sent it to you. 108 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:57,320 Let's go. Dear Aklia, keep me anonymous. 109 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,640 I've been dating this girl for almost a year now and anytime I 110 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:05,320 need something or I need money from here, I have to borrow from 111 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:09,000 here and I have to pay back. But anytime she needs something 112 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,480 from me, I'll give it to a wholeheartedly, but it's a very 113 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,560 big problem for me. I don't know what to do. 114 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,680 What do you think I should do? First of all, I think you're 115 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,960 dealing with a girl that thinks this way. 116 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,200 My money is my money, Your money is our money. 117 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,840 That's the type of girl you're dealing with right now. 118 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,920 So if you think, say long term, you can't deal with that and I 119 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,920 think you're in a wrong relationship, 'cause people like 120 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,840 that say I don't think they are going to change. 121 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,400 I don't think it's something that somebody can change from 122 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,360 because it's them. They've come to understand that, 123 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,680 yeah, the man is the sole way to take responsibility. 124 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,920 They are not part of those people that feel like, yeah, I 125 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,240 have to be able to support my money. 126 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,000 I have to be able to, you know, when my money. 127 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,680 No, they don't. They are not wired like that. 128 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,000 So it's either you, you deal with it or you probably talk to 129 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,640 you about it or you move on. That's it. 130 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,560 Because that's how I see it. My money is my money. 131 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:10,400 Your money is our money. Yeah I met this girl here on 132 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,120 TikTok and took her number. We chatted on WhatsApp and I 133 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,280 proposed my feelings and she agreed. 134 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,240 She's a year older than me and I'm at Koforidia and she's at 135 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,320 Kent Temple. A long distance relationship. 136 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,000 This is my worry, please help me. 137 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,120 She never calls. I always do the calling but if I 138 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,800 also don't for some time she'll complain. 139 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:33,120 She keeps referring how old she is than me sometimes in normal 140 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,679 talks. Do you think I'm safe with it? 141 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,360 OK. You see, I don't think I've ever 142 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,000 started to say that I have a problem with age gap, but 143 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,640 they're setting age gaps. You are normal like 20 and 40 144 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,320 years. That's that's crazy. 145 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:50,880 But something like a year older, you know, that's not is I mean, 146 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,520 it's not bad, but in your situation, the way she goes back 147 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,680 to refer to it's, it's not giving. 148 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,760 I don't think that's mature. Like even if you're older than 149 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,760 the person, I don't think it's mature. 150 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:07,640 That's every 5 seconds. Be like you don't expect to, no. 151 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,960 You can put it in, you know, a joke once in a while, but it 152 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,760 shouldn't be like a behavior or an attitude. 153 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,480 That's what I think anyway. Comment section please help him 154 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,400 out. But you kept repeating that 155 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,720 she's a year older than you. Do you also have a problem with 156 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,320 that? If you do, then it's not for 157 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:29,720 you. OK Dear Akia, So I was dating 158 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,000 this girl while doing my service in the same school I completed 159 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,720 where we met. Everything was going on well I 160 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,480 noticed the guy in her class trying to come in between us. 161 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,760 Anytime I try to know about them, she says they approach hey 162 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,080 but they have nothing more than normal friendship. 163 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,320 So later I think when I left there, the guy now got the 164 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,320 chance to get more close to here. 165 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,720 Even though I wasn't around. We're still dating. 166 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:58,240 One night she told me that the kids from there our relationship 167 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,880 started shaking. Later on she asked for a break 168 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,320 only for me to find out that she's dating the same guy. 169 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:08,560 Now she wants to come back to me but the problem is she feels I 170 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,480 won't just stay again. I love it too but now I don't 171 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,360 know what to do. Do you trust? 172 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,440 No, if you don't then she's right. 173 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:22,680 So there you go. Dear Eklia, I'm really worried 174 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:26,200 and disturbed about this issue and I think I need your opinion. 175 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,760 Been dating my man for almost a year and so far so good. 176 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:34,280 Everything has been going on well, though we have our ups and 177 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,360 downs sometimes which is absolutely normal in every 178 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,480 relationship. Fast forward some time ago, I 179 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,240 noticed my boyfriend has connected my phone to his of 180 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,440 which he receives my messages without me knowing. 181 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,000 He knows about every conversation I have with 182 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,040 everybody but I found out I didn't get that angry even 183 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:58,280 though I was. He apologized and said it wasn't 184 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,400 going to happen anymore. My boyfriend is this jealous 185 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,040 type of guy and he's very insecure. 186 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,040 I always assure him that I ain't going to leave him or ever cheat 187 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,480 on him but still it looks like he has no trust for me. 188 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,520 I love him very much but I have no intentions of cheating on him 189 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,280 or ever leaving him because he's the very best. 190 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,520 He does everything for me and always makes me feel 191 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,600 comfortable. But just recently I found out 192 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,120 again that he has connected my phone with his and he has been 193 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,080 reading my messages and his words. 194 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:35,720 He he's like Congrats I know everything but the truth is I'm 195 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,960 not doing anything wrong. And those I chat with, I've made 196 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,800 it clear to them that I'm not single and there can't be any 197 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:47,200 form of relationship between us. My chat with them is normal even 198 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:51,160 though sometimes we chat and say I miss you and I miss your 199 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,640 company and other stuff. I don't even know how he reads 200 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,080 and understands those messages and I don't know the impression 201 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:02,000 he has created about me but he makes me feel I'm the worst 202 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,600 embodies person. This thing he is doing is really 203 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,640 making me feel bad. We know each other's passwords 204 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,400 so I don't think it's right for him to keep doing that. 205 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,840 I really don't like it and it's and this time around it really 206 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,960 has broken me and I feel so stupid. 207 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,800 Sometimes I chat with people and delete the messages because when 208 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,840 he sees it he'll make a big deal out of it. 209 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,280 I decided to delete those messages because I don't need 210 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,480 them on my phone. And that's one to. 211 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,840 Yes. Issues with it. 212 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,720 I'm in the university and of course some lecturers, students 213 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,840 and other people who make advances at me because of my 214 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,320 body type. I explain everything to him, but 215 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,560 still. OK. 216 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,040 Yeah. What should I do now? 217 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:52,480 Please advise me. You see, an insecure man is an 218 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,760 insecure man. Just so you know, you can do 219 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,280 everything in this world. Yeah. 220 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,680 And you will still be the same. That's how he's going to be. 221 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,800 It's a cancer, that thing. It's a cancer. 222 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,960 Like not literal cancer, but I think it's the cancer of 223 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:14,240 illusions, Insecurity in the sense that it eats you up. 224 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,080 It goes to places, your brain, your stomach, your appetite, 225 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,320 everything. Then it messes with you and 226 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,200 destroys something good I've been building. 227 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,160 So my dear you 2, don't entertain people. 228 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,320 If you want to keep that relationship, then don't 229 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,800 entertain anybody. Don't. 230 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,280 It means that you can't make friends. 231 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,040 It means that you can't have friends. 232 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,480 Are you ready to live your life like that with someone like 233 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,760 that? It's, it's a crazy situation. 234 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,400 Think about it. If you can't be with somebody 235 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,880 like that, go ahead and be with him. 236 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,400 But if you can't, you don't stay because of all the other 237 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,200 benefits you are getting. Because you see, that's the 238 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,680 exchange of business services you're going to gain. 239 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,840 You understand you're collecting things and he's not correct. 240 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,800 So choose what? OK? 241 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:04,320 Dear Akia, I'm a student of Umat Takwa and will be in level 200 242 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,480 next year, God willing. I live in an apartment. 243 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,480 The thing is I have a girlfriend who stays at La Paz. 244 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:15,280 She lives with someone as a house girl and she's like she 245 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:19,000 wants to stop her job and move to stay with me in Taqwa. 246 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:24,080 That's next year. At first she told me it was cool 247 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,120 but I have been thinking of some things. 248 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,520 You know in life we don't wish for bad things to come our way 249 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,360 but bad things happen. So I was wondering what if 250 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,080 something happens to her at my place, who am I going to tell or 251 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,200 call? I love this girl and I don't 252 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,320 have a problem with her coming to stay with me. 253 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:48,280 So please can you show an idea what you think I should do this 254 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,640 thingy? It's I like the fact that you 255 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,840 are not just thinking about the fact that Oh my goddess, come 256 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,520 stay with me. There'll be you know, unlimited 257 00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:00,480 sex, there'll be unlimited, you know, food, unlimited lovey 258 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,320 dovey stuff. But you're thinking about what 259 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,800 if something happens to him? What is in the middle of the 260 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,240 night or who said I'm coming to snatch here? 261 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,320 What are you going to tell her family, her people? 262 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,520 They will let you sleep by their corpse. 263 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,800 You know that thing. Where is the account people that 264 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:20,760 do who straight tribe when somebody they are dating dies, 265 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,840 especially in your house, especially for the men. 266 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,040 Say the person dies in your house. 267 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,880 Why she cried? They will prosecute you for 268 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,320 murder on top of it because they don't really know what your day 269 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,400 now 2 when we come to the traditional side normal cocina, 270 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,560 I can see you sleep by the way to bury it. 271 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,600 You sleep by the crops for three days before they do some memory. 272 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,840 Do you have that topical drop? You know, all those things come 273 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:50,880 in, but I think normally what the family says that if you want 274 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,400 her to be living with you, then you have to do something on her 275 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,680 head. And I'm pretty sure that you're 276 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,960 not in a place. Let me 200 you are not in a 277 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:06,760 place to when to wear and do something on a woman's head. 278 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,680 So my dear, whatever it is, I need you to have a realistic 279 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,320 conversation with a girl. Let's you understand what's at 280 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,040 stake. Do you understand? 281 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:19,400 Don't, don't take a chakra 'cause as you know, anything can 282 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:26,280 happen at any time. Yeah, I'm almost 28 years old, 283 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,120 working as a security personnel and my boyfriend is also a 284 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,240 personnel. We've been dating for a couple 285 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,240 of months now. We look OK, but not that OK. 286 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:39,160 He doesn't come to my place, I go there when I'm off work. 287 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,800 I do support him when he needs my help from sending him money 288 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:48,840 for groceries but sometimes feel like he doesn't love me. 289 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,240 I like the way I love him from my places. 290 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,080 This is like 4 hours drive but I still go. 291 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,720 I cook, clean and wash as if we are married. 292 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,120 But when he gets the chances I get from work he hardly and 293 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:05,359 comes to see me or even say I'm sorry to me when he is at fault. 294 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,599 The painful thing is he entertains some girl on WhatsApp 295 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,440 which I have seen some of his chats and I complain. 296 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:17,880 He said that that's him, he is filled with them and nothing 297 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,359 more. When I talk about things that 298 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,240 I'm not happy about, he says I complained too much. 299 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,240 I have changed. When I take new photos I send 300 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,440 them to him just for him to admire but he just looks and 301 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,400 says nothing. I complain about that. 302 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,960 She doesn't like you. Sorry he doesn't like you my 303 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000 dear, you have written plenty here. 304 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:47,800 He doesn't like you. You deserve more than anything 305 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,640 for all the things you do for him. 306 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,320 You cook, clean, wash for him and common compliments you can 307 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,360 get. And he does something that you 308 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,040 talk about. You entertain other people and 309 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,440 talk about. You say your whole cleaning is 310 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,320 this love. So this is love. 311 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:14,200 Hey that no, you're 28. Don't entertain this rubbish or 312 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,400 somebody's come and stress you because of love. 313 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,760 Hey, no he doesn't, OK? He doesn't love you. 314 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:25,800 He doesn't even like you. Let's love it. 315 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,440 Let's love it dear. I'm a guy of 24 years. 316 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,920 When I was 19 I met a lady and let's go home. 317 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,640 I realized she was interested in me but I told her I wasn't ready 318 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,640 and still healing from a previous relationship. 319 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,320 She is very caring and understood me. 320 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,920 But one thing led to the other. We had sex even though we're not 321 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,960 dating so so you people can lead to 1 limited lead to the other. 322 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,640 It has sex once you have plans that you will never date. 323 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,440 What kind of lead to the other is that's one though we were not 324 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,120 dating so it was like friends with benefit. 325 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,040 I moved from that area and we lost contact. 326 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,160 Five years later, I'm not in my final year in the university and 327 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,080 currently dating a lady. Let's go here. 328 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:06,440 She's in level 300 and been dating for 2 1/2 years now. 329 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,920 Yeah, is some way. One moment she's acting like I'm 330 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:13,120 her wealth, another moment she behaving like an angry possessed 331 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,160 person towards me. I know they do sometimes get 332 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,200 mood swings so I just ignore her when she's acting that way. 333 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,000 What? Our parents are aware of our 334 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,120 relationship and even her mom sometimes sends me stuff from 335 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,640 abroad. Fast forward, I'm at the friend 336 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,320 with benefit. Got my number from a friend and 337 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,680 now she wants a relationship with me. 338 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,600 I told her I were acquainted with someone and now dating the 339 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,440 person. She understood. 340 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,920 But sometimes she brings up the idea of dating and even uses the 341 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,240 shagging that occurred between us as a weapon against me saying 342 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,640 I used it. I don't think I used it because 343 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,960 we both agreed to have the sex and nothing else and moreover, 344 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,920 she's now with one kid and that's one of my red flags. 345 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,200 For me. The lady is very caring and 346 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,080 supportive but the depth of my feelings for her is superficial 347 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,720 and I don't want to give him vanity hopes. 348 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,280 My girlfriend Yao on the other hand is not caring and 349 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,640 supportive as AMA but I feel like since our parents are 350 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,120 involved, I shouldn't just end things with her like that. 351 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,360 Plus, her mom really likes me and even queries my opinions and 352 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:22,280 decisions sometimes when it comes to her daughter. 353 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:26,880 I'm really discombobulated because in my mind, Amma is a 354 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,840 very supportive and caring person for a wife. 355 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:36,000 But my heart is for ya. My mom also loves it. 356 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,800 What should I do? You see, in all that you have 357 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,640 said here, you kept saying this person loves this, this person 358 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,080 loves that. It wasn't really about you. 359 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,360 It feels like you're looking about you're looking at 360 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,800 everybody from the outside by not yourself. 361 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,800 The only time you said my heart is foyer is towards the end, but 362 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:59,040 you had given lots of you know this person is my dear. 363 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,680 What do you want? That's the thing. 364 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,520 What do you want? You clearly stated that someone 365 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,280 with a child is a red flag for you. 366 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,960 So why do you want to go back on your red flag? 367 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,760 Oh, you think that's all the other qualities that you 368 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,640 mentioned of her, you know, covers for the one child that 369 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,040 she has? I mean, what exactly do you want 370 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,000 as a person? Look at it that way and sit 371 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,720 within yourself and assets what you want and move on. 372 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,800 Thank you very much for watching this particular episode. 373 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,200 It's been a lot, but I hope you enjoyed it. 374 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,120 I'll see you in the next episode, which will be coming. 375 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,400 I mean this weekend, I couldn't bring you a lot because I have I 376 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,080 wasn't feeling well. So I posted on Tuesday alone. 377 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,160 But this week we're going to do Tuesday and we're going to do 378 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,840 Saturday. So I'll see you in the next 379 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,400 episode on Saturday. Until then, don't forget to 380 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,320 subscribe, like and share and please yeah, share for other 381 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,800 people and follow me on Tiktok at the Pew podcast on Instagram 382 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:58,560 as the PV podcast and on Snapchat as the dot PO free. 383 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,240 I'll see you in the next episode.