1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:05,200 You will marry her and then she will call you and that will 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,960 break your spirit. There are men that will spend on 3 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,760 you and they are the ones that will not spend on you. 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,960 And I will choose the one that will spend on me. 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,760 And they are ones that will send you good morning in the morning 6 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,480 to show how much they care about you. 7 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,680 And they are ones that will be nonchalant about even caring how 8 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,520 your day is going. And I will choose the one that 9 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,440 will send me. Hello, good morning baby, how 10 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,600 are you doing? So it is what you want. 11 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,000 I will take him to my home and do something to him to teach him 12 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,400 a lesson. After a while I will heal him 13 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,280 and tell him never to do that to a lady again in his life. 14 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:42,840 This is what you get when you turn a good woman into a 15 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,800 feeling. That is why I mean, if I don't 16 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,160 have money, I don't go anywhere. I stay in my house regardless of 17 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,400 the invitation that you've given me. 18 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,160 I'll stay in my house because I if I don't have my TNT from in 19 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,560 and out, I'll not come. In fact, I need my TNT and, and 20 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,320 what I'll either sit on or eat. If I don't have it, I'll not go. 21 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,040 Even if it's a date, I'll not go. 22 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,200 Why is it that you don't have your singing to yourself and you 23 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,440 dressed up? In fact, you went with a date 24 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,600 that ran away because he knew. Oh my goodness. 25 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,920 If they posted it on social media, if they posted it on 26 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:27,080 social media, if they posted it on social media, then they made 27 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,560 it our business. And since they made it our 28 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,760 business, we're going to make it our business. 29 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,720 Now let's get into the stories we have for the episode. 30 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,360 Dear Akia, I'm a young girl of 25 years, very beautiful and 31 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,480 smart. I'm currently doing my national 32 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,960 service and the first child of my parents. 33 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:53,000 So you know the kind of pressure and how people will be looking 34 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,040 up to me. And in my case, my dad is late. 35 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,520 So Fast forward, I met a guy who is also doing his national 36 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,120 service. We met way back on campus, but 37 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,280 we got together after school. So I've tried to go clean with 38 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,560 this guy. I mean not to have any affair 39 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,720 with any other guy. Since we started dating, this 40 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,960 guy hasn't spent one gonna CDs on me. 41 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,880 I know we are not earning much so I tried to be the 42 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,720 understanding girlfriend type. But he gets money to go on trips 43 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,760 with his male friends and buy expensive sneakers, perfumes and 44 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,120 other things for himself and even sometimes I borrow him 45 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,800 money on countless occasions. So currently I met this new guy 46 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,320 who can really take care of me and even want to invest in my 47 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,560 small business. OK looks like the pressure I'm 48 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,960 going through financially. I really need help and I have 49 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,080 decided to give this new guy a try. 50 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,920 I hope it's the best decision and me being there for him and 51 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,640 keep borrowing him money doesn't guarantee he will take care of 52 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:54,040 me when he gets rich. At the end of the day I think 53 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,440 everybody does things in their own benefit. 54 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:00,440 This is why even if he knows I need money, I'm out of money. 55 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,360 He prefers going on trips, or he prefers going on trips with his 56 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,640 friends and buying expensive sneakers and perfumes for 57 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:10,440 himself rather than investing money in my small business. 58 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,600 You see, you know what? I get what you're saying, but 59 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,720 how you're saying it makes it seem like you're being entitled 60 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:23,120 about his money. Mind you, it is his money. 61 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,680 So he chooses to do what he wants to do with the money or 62 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,640 not. But I'm going to refer you to 63 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,320 there's this lady on TikTok. And then he keeps saying things 64 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:34,480 like there are men that will spend on you and they are the 65 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,800 ones that will not spend on you. And I will choose the one that 66 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,000 will spend on me. And there are ones that will 67 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,480 send you good morning in the morning to show how much they 68 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,320 care about you. And there are ones that will be 69 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,200 nonchalant about even caring how your day is going. 70 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,800 And I will choose the one that will send me. 71 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,720 Hello, good morning baby. How are you doing? 72 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,160 So it is what you want that matters. 73 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:57,400 But what I'm going to tell you is that talk to the guy that you 74 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,600 know you say you're on the same level with because you don't 75 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,240 really know what this new guy wants. 76 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,040 The only thing you care about is the fact that he wants to invest 77 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,800 in you. But what other qualities does he 78 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,240 possess that will make him better than this one? 79 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,440 I need you to understand that it's not just about the 80 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,440 financial decisions. There are other decisions you 81 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,279 need to make that emotional decisions. 82 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:21,959 Find out why this guy is not spending on you, Let me say, not 83 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:25,160 spending on you particularly, but find out why this guy is not 84 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,240 ready to financially support you, right? 85 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,040 How you feel like you deserve to be supported, right? 86 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,680 And then on top of it, he still comes back to borrow from you. 87 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,320 I don't think that is a good sign. 88 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,560 You're not ready to invest in me, but you're ready to take for 89 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,480 me. That is not a good sign. 90 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,680 And I'm hoping that this new guy that you're saying is ready to 91 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,400 invest in, you're also ready to also give something. 92 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,920 I mean, it's not always that you tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, 93 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,240 tick, but you also have to give something in a relationship. 94 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,920 And I'm not talking about sex because I know that in this 95 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,280 generation we keep using since you're not ready to give me your 96 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,120 body, I'm also not ready to spend on you. 97 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,480 I think that logic is not really making sense. 98 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,240 But I know people come and fight me in the comments section. 99 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,760 Anyway, have a conversation about it. 100 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:12,280 OK? One thing I know for real is 101 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:17,600 that talking to someone about something gives you a clear 102 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,240 understanding. Their response to what you ask 103 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,200 them, right, will give you a clear understanding of whatever 104 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,720 they want with you. OK, yes. 105 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,360 And also pray. Pray about it. 106 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,000 I've come to realize that in everything we do. 107 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,000 Well, if you're coming to eat and there's two choices in front 108 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,760 of you, my dear, apart from your appetite, pray because you don't 109 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,440 know what which one will do to you. 110 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,920 Backup to make you sit. Well, all right. 111 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,320 So yeah, whatever it is, pray about it because for you know, 112 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,840 both of them are not supposed to even be your partners in the 113 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,240 long run. OK. 114 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:55,440 Yeah. Dear, keep me anonymous. 115 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,080 I'm a level 300 students in Kumasi Technical University. 116 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,480 Recently I met a level 100 lady, a very beautiful lady like that. 117 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,280 We're writing mid same exams and I found out that she's sitting 118 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,440 beside me. In fact, she helped me by 119 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,680 telling me all the answers of my colleagues who was sitting in 120 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,160 front of me, of which I've asked him about some of the questions 121 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,440 I can't answer. So literally it was the lady who 122 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,840 volunteered by giraffing to look at my friend's answers and 123 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,480 telling me short after the exams I approached them thank they a 124 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,160 lot 'cause I'm a stranger as well as hers. 125 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,440 To cut everything short, we exchanged contacts and later in 126 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,360 the evening we texted. I told her she's really a nice 127 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,160 person so I would like to know more about her. 128 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,240 She started the first sentence by saying she has a boyfriend 129 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,920 and I said to OK but deeply for me I fell for her because of the 130 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,880 first start which was like a spark from the beginning. 131 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,320 So time went on and she started asking for money although she 132 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,840 said she has a boyfriend but I don't hesitate to send her 133 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,800 money. I was hoping this lady would 134 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,720 fall for me and it went on several times literally every 135 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,960 day asking me for money and I was like what does this lady 136 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,000 want from me? So I decided to ask her to go to 137 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,240 her boyfriend for money when she needs it and this lady blocked 138 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,800 me for seeing such. I don't know whether I was wrong 139 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,480 or right. At first she used to call me at 140 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,680 midnight but now everything is gone. 141 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:21,880 I later went to where she stays to apologize to her later that 142 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,040 we nearly had sex because she accepted the apology but 143 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,440 unfortunately someone banged on her door which was her best 144 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,640 female friend so he didn't come on. 145 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,480 I went away very fast. Fast forward she didn't unblock 146 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,400 me another time as school organized a dinner and awards 147 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,880 night so I decided to go along with them. 148 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,360 So I use a different number to call her sis I've been blocked 149 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,080 and she picked up. I asked her where she is and she 150 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:53,040 told me she's at a dinner and awards at SG mom and I said OK 151 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,480 which means she went there with someone by yet. 152 00:07:55,520 --> 00:08:00,200 I don't know I so I let her. I also went there with two of my 153 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,880 male friends and one female belonging to the same class. 154 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,920 I to cut a short, you've cut a short 3 billion times. 155 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,880 When then I saw her with her friends too. 156 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,680 My thought was that maybe she got a date, but I later found 157 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,040 out that her dates run away because he had to pay for 158 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,480 drinks. Even Laura Fair from SU mall to 159 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:23,400 campus wasn't a big deal. To my surprise I got a text from 160 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,280 her saying so you're here and you didn't come to me before 161 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,240 that one of my new friends who knew everything about I and her 162 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,679 told me that I shouldn't even look at her even to even try to 163 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,840 go see her. So I obeyed and it worked. 164 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:39,280 She became jealous that I was with the same class lady I took 165 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,240 along with my friends. She texted me saying that did 166 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:46,320 you bring your date? I told her the truth that no 167 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,600 that Lady is my classmate and she said I'm lying. 168 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,160 To cut her short she broke she was broke and couldn't afford 169 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,840 for a ride or boat. I took it upon myself and 170 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,560 ordered a ride for her but to my surprise she told me we should 171 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,080 go to a place and I should spend the night with her. 172 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,560 I became very happy but not knowing this lady is very wise. 173 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,240 She added one of her female friends to come and also spend 174 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,320 the night at her place. So nothing happened. 175 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,240 My problem about her is that she becomes jealous any time she 176 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,120 sees me with another lady. I know she likes me too but 177 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,200 playing hard to get. What should I do? 178 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,880 Another time I took her out and guess what she took the food 179 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,080 home and told me I should go home. 180 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,960 This lady is something else. I don't know what to do. 181 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,840 I need your help 'cause I feel good when she's with me. 182 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:34,160 I love her too because of the spark from the beginning you are 183 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,080 a joke because you know what she's doing and you're there. 184 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:48,160 And young lady, what? What are you trying to do? 185 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,440 What is your problem? That is why me, if I don't have 186 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,680 money, I don't go anywhere. I stay in my house regardless of 187 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,920 the invitation that you've given me. 188 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,680 I'll stay in my house because I if I don't have my TNT from in 189 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:05,080 and out, I'll not come. In fact, I need my TNT and and 190 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,800 what I'll either sit on or eats. If I don't have it, I'll not go. 191 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,560 Even if it's a date, I'll not go. 192 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,200 So why is it that let me remove the glasses so she can see my 193 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,960 eyes if she's going to see the episode? 194 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,800 Why is it that you don't have your singing to yourself and you 195 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,040 dressed up? In fact, you went with a date 196 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,280 that ran away because he knew. Oh my goodness. 197 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:37,240 Whatever it is, young man, run. Because even if she loves you, I 198 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,560 don't think she loves you enough to want to be with you. 199 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,920 Maybe I'm not a speck. She's just doing you last. 200 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,400 Last, because she knows that she will benefit something from you 201 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,200 in the end and that's what I think. 202 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:53,880 But let the comment section also help you out dear. 203 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,840 Keep me anonymous. I'm a level 400 students at one 204 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,080 of the universities in Ghana. Very beautiful and a good 205 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,720 student as well. During my first year, I met this 206 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,840 guy at my hostel who showed interest in me. 207 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,040 I liked him too because of his looks and how smart he is. 208 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,040 In one year, three months into our relationship, I caught him 209 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,480 cheating on me of which I confronted him in front of the 210 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:17,240 lady he was cheating with. But he denied knowing me from 211 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,480 anywhere. So I picked up my pieces that 212 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,880 night and had never spoken to him again. 213 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,080 I was so broken, cried for some days and moved on with my life. 214 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:30,760 Fast forward in level 300 I met another guy whom I liked so much 215 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,880 but because of what happened in my past relationship I decided 216 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,680 not to go out with him. But he didn't give up on me and 217 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:41,120 he kept coming for three months so because of that I thought he 218 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:49,360 was serious about me. He stick accepted his proposal, 219 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,720 I restarted dating. He started giving me attitude 220 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,800 some days into the relationship so I sat him down to have a 221 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,480 conversation with him about how things are going off which he 222 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,960 assured me not to worry because he got mean. 223 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,280 One weekend he sent me a text saying he's going home to his 224 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,200 family and you call me when he gets there of which he didn't. 225 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,560 Throughout that night my conscience was telling me to go 226 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:15,200 to his place but it was late so I didn't go so early the next 227 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,960 morning I went there only for me to see him around. 228 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:22,000 I noticed there was someone in his room so I didn't bother to 229 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,720 enter to see the passing and then I went away. 230 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,720 Now I want to take revenge on him for lying and making me fall 231 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,520 in love with him, knowing perfectly well that he was with 232 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,240 someone already. I will take him to my hometown 233 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,560 and do something to him to teach him a lesson. 234 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,920 After a while I will heal him and tell him never to do that to 235 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,600 a lady again in his life so that he will teach his brothers not 236 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:48,680 to treat any lady in any manner. So this one, she's all looking 237 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,120 for opinion. She's just telling us that this 238 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,160 is what's two men have done to her, and this is what she's 239 00:12:55,160 --> 00:13:01,680 going to do to the second one. This is what you get when you 240 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,280 turn a good woman into a feeling. 241 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,560 I keep seeing this is when he became a villain. 242 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,800 So I'm going to turn it and say this is when she became a 243 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,320 villain. A young, beautiful lady sitting 244 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,280 somewhere minding her business. You pursue her and you do this 245 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,840 to her. What is wrong with some of you, 246 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:27,320 man? What is wrong with you, my 247 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,880 darling me? I'm going to tell you to forgive 248 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,640 and let it go. But you've made your own 249 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,080 decisions. But I hope that what I've said, 250 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,880 forgive and let it go touches your heart enough to let it go. 251 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,760 OK? He's not worth it. 252 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,680 I just just cut off communication with him. 253 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,800 Cut off anything as a form of communication, anything at all, 254 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,280 and just let it be in the right time. 255 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,760 The right person will come. There's no entertaining 256 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,840 relationship thing right now because I think at the moment 257 00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:00,520 you're Brooking and your brain is at that. 258 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,720 I want to show these men Shaggy level. 259 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,200 So every guy that comes into your life would take the 260 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,360 consequences of whatever you know the guys have done in your 261 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,280 life. So just focus on you and try to 262 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,120 be good. Heal out heal like heal proper 263 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:23,120 healing before. OK dear keep me anonymous. 264 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,080 I'm 26 year old lady in a distance relationship. 265 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,520 Two different regions in Ghana but we visit ourselves 266 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,440 frequently. My boyfriend and I are gively 267 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,720 employed. December last day he came to see 268 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,960 my parents to declare his intentions to marry me. 269 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,120 My family is also in a different region. 270 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,400 They told him they would give him feedback which up till now 271 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,480 they still haven't given him but they advised me to end things 272 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,200 with him because of his stripe but I didn't listen. 273 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,240 We continue to live our lives and now I think I'm pregnant. 274 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,320 I have not been able to go to the hospital to confirm it yet 275 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,720 but my period is 8 days late which is not normal to me. 276 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:03,080 There's a program at home this month ending that I must go for, 277 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,120 but I'm afraid my mother will notice. 278 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,360 I have not changed. But you know, African parents. 279 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:12,480 A part of me wants to keep it because of my age and I know my 280 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,560 boyfriend will also want us to marry this year. 281 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,920 But my family, I'm afraid of what they will do if they find 282 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,960 out. Please, what do I do? 283 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,680 Please let me know when you post it. 284 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,920 OK, first of all, that let me know when you post it that you 285 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,120 guys, some of you guys add to the thing, right? 286 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,160 I won't know because when I screenshot, I blurt off your 287 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,480 names out of it. So I don't know who I'm talking, 288 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,560 know whose story I'm talking about at what point. 289 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,640 And I don't read it until I sit in this seat. 290 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:43,360 So I won't know. But hopefully you find this, you 291 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,720 see this tribal thing, tribalism, right, is one of the 292 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:53,520 most craziest thing. But sometimes I also understand 293 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,800 the families in the sense that maybe they've encountered a few 294 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,040 of that tribe and it didn't go well and they assumed that 295 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,160 everyone in that tribe is the same, which I think is a 296 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,280 colossal mistake. But there's nothing you can do 297 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,640 except one person from that tribe comes to change their 298 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:13,200 mind. But now this pregnancy involved. 299 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,880 So your parents needs to actually understand. 300 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,760 But one thing also here is that pregnancy doesn't necessarily 301 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,160 mean that you guys should marry. But the best thing both of you 302 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,400 can do is let your man know what your parents have said or your 303 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,160 family have said. Let him go and vouch for 304 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:36,200 himself. Because me, I believe in, you 305 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,640 know, from my background right in Christianity, in knowing God 306 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,640 and you serving God, I believe in parental consent before 307 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,920 marriage in as much as sometimes our parents can be difficult. 308 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,320 As I said in our previous episodes, let this person walk 309 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:56,000 to them and convince them of how much you would take care of you 310 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,600 and not behave like a stripe people. 311 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:02,520 It is it is sad that in this generation, education hasn't 312 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:06,079 gone on enough for these tribal things to stop. 313 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,040 But and it's unfortunate, but this is the the the bed you're 314 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,520 lining now. And so you need to be able to 315 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,240 lead well. I've, I've changed the way, yes, 316 00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:19,680 you've laid your bed, you've laid your bed, so you lie in it, 317 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,079 but I've changed it into you're lying in it now. 318 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,920 So get up, lay it well for your family to be able to also lie in 319 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,640 it too. You understand. 320 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,880 So have a conversation with your mother, tell her you're pregnant 321 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,400 for the man you guys have been bowing on for a while now. 322 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,080 You've not seen anything bad about him. 323 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,760 And also, I am going to say this again, young people of this 324 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:44,640 generation, please pray. Please pray. 325 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:56,040 It's sad. Dear Ekia, please keep me 326 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,440 anonymous. I'm a guy of 29 years and I've 327 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,440 been in a relationship with this lady for five to six years. 328 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,520 The lady just completed NMTC student midwife. 329 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,520 Upon completing the school she started comparing me to other 330 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,640 guys that I can't do what other men do. 331 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,520 The guys she was comparing me with are her roommates 332 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,280 boyfriends where some of her boyfriends are dating two to 333 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,720 three boyfriends that she knows and sometimes do talk to me 334 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,320 about some of their issues concerning the double and triple 335 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,000 dating. The leading question is 27 336 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,400 years. I found out that she has been 337 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,000 having secret chats with other guys who speak their home 338 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,520 language. She speaks different languages 339 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,080 and I don't understand their languages too. 340 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,760 What should I do now? I will be in the comments 341 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,720 section. That's a red flag. 342 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,160 That is something that you need to be very vigilant about 343 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,760 because for you know, she's already seen those men and 344 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,680 because of the language you don't understand. 345 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,720 And so tell her, let her know that this is what she say. 346 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,240 And one thing that young ladies, we shouldn't do is to compare 347 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,040 our men to other people. Don't do that. 348 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,280 Don't do that. Don't do that. 349 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,640 Because you see the same way you're comparing your man to 350 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,800 that man. There's something about your man 351 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,080 that that other man doesn't have this moment. 352 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,960 You allow the seat of comparison comes into your relationship. 353 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,800 You are giving room for other people to walk in. 354 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,360 It means that first of all, you do not have respect for the man 355 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:22,880 you you are with. Secondly, you do not have any 356 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,360 faith in the man you're with. And so then why are you there? 357 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:36,760 Why are you there when you have a man and he's at he has a job, 358 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,160 he has a dream, he's doing OK for himself, taking care of 359 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,240 himself. You know it has family values. 360 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:53,200 What else do you need that you need to compare him to women 361 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,200 that are doing stupid things? Multiple dating. 362 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,600 You are a young lady dating one person, but you're comparing 363 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,800 your boyfriend to your friend. That is, you know, to your 364 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,720 friend's boyfriend. And mind you, this friend is not 365 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,160 dating one person. This friend has multiple 366 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,560 boyfriends. So what is your problem then? 367 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,480 I promise you, she's a 27 year old lady that doesn't know what 368 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,160 she wants. She doesn't know what she needs, 369 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,640 she doesn't know what she wants. And you are about to dodge your 370 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,960 bullets because that comparison is not going to stop. 371 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,800 You will marry her and then she will call you Bema Pasi. 372 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,520 I won't know when you're performing album sing. 373 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,720 And that will break your spirit. Comparison is the is the thing 374 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,640 that breaks man's spirit. And so when you and like young 375 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:45,520 lady out there, do not compare a man 'cause you break a spirit, 376 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,040 don't. And the moment a woman starts 377 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,680 comparing, you know that she feels like she can get something 378 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,520 better out there. And so you they must start 379 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,360 packing your bags. So this. 380 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,320 Hello Ikhya, I'm a guy of 28 and I've been battling with a lot of 381 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,040 things for the past one month and I cannot tell my family or 382 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,560 friends about. I knew a girl in Senior High 383 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,880 School who was young but a cousin who was supposed to be my 384 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,120 friend started calling her my wife because we both had fair 385 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,160 skin as she was young. I didn't take things serious 386 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:24,320 until she completed Senior High School and I can tell you she 387 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,080 has grown very beautiful while I'm also finishing my 388 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,120 undergraduate degree. Last year at Xmas her cousin 389 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:36,000 went back to their village which is where they met and she asked 390 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,840 about me and the cousin said I'm now a big man and I completed 391 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,560 university so she took my contact and one way or another 392 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,560 we started dating. In addition to giving her 200 393 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,920 cities every week, I also given money for her hair and other 394 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,920 stuff because I have a side business that pays me quite 395 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,040 well. I rented a room for her at 396 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,680 CRONOM in Kumasi for her to start working as an apprentice 397 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,880 for a hairdresser and also paid for everything. 398 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,240 Approximately 9000 Ghana cities are involved. 399 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,800 Two months into the relationship, I started 400 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,520 experiencing some changes in her. 401 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,800 She was not responding to my calls or chats. 402 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,960 Whenever I saw such things, I called her mother to explain 403 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:21,920 everything to her for advice. It wasn't until about a month 404 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,400 later that her cousin called me and said she had returned to her 405 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:31,280 ex who lives at Cronom and she told me that the guy was in 406 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,400 Accra. I ignored her cousin and told 407 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,160 her about what the cousin told me. 408 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:40,760 As a result, she and her mom plus older sisters in the family 409 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,400 went to fight her cousin and rain all sorts of insults on 410 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,000 him. About two weeks ago I was there 411 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,480 where my younger sister called me to check on her WhatsApp 412 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,840 status which I did and it was blank. 413 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,680 So I called my sister back and to my surprise she went out with 414 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,960 the X and posted it on her status and blocked me from 415 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,480 seeing. So quickly my sister sent me the 416 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,880 screen recording which I will send to you. 417 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,600 After the chat I got pissed and called it. 418 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,640 To my surprise this girl started insulting me with a lot of head 419 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,600 for words which one way to the other I also insulted her even 420 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,000 her mom as well. Now her parents are saying I 421 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:26,520 have to apologize to them. I did and I was even offered to 422 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,440 pay something to her for insults. 423 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,680 Now she's saying her parents say they won't allow me to stay with 424 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,640 her again and other stuff. So last night I called her 425 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,720 parents to demand the repay of the money I spent on the renting 426 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,040 of the room. So I called my younger sister to 427 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,840 inform her about the incident and she gave me another screen 428 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,480 recording which the girl has posted the X with the catching. 429 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,000 I have missed you baby with a lot of emojis. 430 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,960 So am I asked for to still push for the refund of my money? 431 00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:00,000 Information reaching me is that the guy's rent is due and they 432 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,400 now stay in their room. I'm hurting, I've eat, I haven't 433 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,320 eaten since last night. So now what pains me most is 434 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:12,920 that a mom all the while was acting innocent while she knew 435 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,520 about the relationship with the ex. 436 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,800 And please advise me is it right to go for my money or not? 437 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,640 Which the mom has promised to pay me 5000 at the end of the 438 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,840 month but I actually know the mom can't even afford 1000. 439 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,240 Please collect your money. The whole family they are they 440 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:30,160 are deceitful and somebody will hurt their child and they will 441 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,160 sit there and cry and they won't understand. 442 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:38,440 You have met a young man that is willing to be this helpful to 443 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,960 you and your family and, and you mess up like that. 444 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,480 So you want to be paid for, for the insults. 445 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,120 Understand that, you know, in that time, I'm not trying to 446 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:50,480 defend your insult or anything, but you're a human being and you 447 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,360 will get ahead. And when you know you're in that 448 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,000 position, things will come out of your mouth. 449 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,560 But I also tell you that moving forward, just, you know, be able 450 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,320 to learn how to control your, your emotions in situations like 451 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:05,080 that, which I know is not really that easy, but to avoid all this 452 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,160 skirmishes, right? With that being said, please 453 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:13,560 take your money. And if, if they want to be 454 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:17,040 messy, you can drag it to what you call a police station that 455 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,960 the parents knew what you were doing for the girl. 456 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,520 They, they actually were in support in what you're doing 457 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,280 today. They demanded money from you 458 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,480 when issues broke out between you and the girl. 459 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:33,080 And then now they they they want to what see when suck one of 460 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,600 them from that place, she and I useless boyfriend of hers that 461 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,320 you've seen that another man is paying for all this for the girl 462 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:44,080 and you are still doing this and you this Oh God have messy God 463 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,720 have mess. We we some of you are some of 464 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,240 you women. We are the rich. 465 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,760 Let me just keep quiet. Wow. 466 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,600 Please take your money. Even if they can't, please go 467 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,720 and collect your money. However you collect the money. 468 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,360 Collect the money. 9000 Ghana said this small girl. 469 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:10,160 Small girl. Dear Ekia, somewhere last year I 470 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,600 was working at this company when one of our customers asked me to 471 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,800 look for a secretary for him. So I asked him how much she was 472 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:21,360 going to pay the person and he told me and I realized it was 473 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,360 good. So I quit my job and went for an 474 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,320 interview there. I started working there 475 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,520 somewhere last year June. My boss wanted to have an office 476 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,640 relationship with me which I wasn't willing to have anything 477 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,680 doing with him. This man started being so nice 478 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,800 to me like he was so good to me and the money he gives me before 479 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,000 the month ends was even more than the salary I was taking. 480 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,960 So honestly I started having interest in him and we got too 481 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,520 comfortable. We sometimes hang out and then 482 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:52,680 he buys me gifts. Mind you, he was a married man 483 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:57,280 until one day his wife saw a message he sent to me. 484 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,760 Due to that the wife started suspecting I had something doing 485 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,400 with the husband. She called me some time to warn 486 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,520 me. So due to that I had to stay at 487 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,760 home for some time until I had a phone call from her asking to 488 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,520 come back to the office. So I did and any time she comes 489 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,040 around and sees me in his husband's office she gets angry 490 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,040 and walks out. So I decided to quit. 491 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,240 Our boss pleaded with me to stay but I refused so I left. 492 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,400 Whilst I was at home my boss finds Ways and Means to come see 493 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,440 me. He still buys me gifts and sends 494 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,480 me money. It was my birthday and my boss 495 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,760 took me out. After the dinner date my boss 496 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,080 sends me a message saying someone has sent a video of us 497 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,880 to the wife so she has started the things again. 498 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,480 So I replied to my boss by saying I think we should stop 499 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,760 talking for pistol rain. Mind you, this was something I 500 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,920 never wanted to do even though he was married because I was 501 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,480 beginning to like him for real. I saw the disappointment in him 502 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,800 but I had no choice. My boss was not on snap but 503 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,920 because of me he started using snap and all that. 504 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:03,960 Anytime we hang out, he behaves as if he has never seen a woman 505 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,360 before. That one aside, just recently I 506 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:09,120 got a call from an unknown number I picked up and it was my 507 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,720 boss's wife raining curses on me. 508 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,040 Mind you any time she calls I ignore her. 509 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,560 But this time around I didn't spare her because I have stopped 510 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,720 talking to the husband for months so I didn't know why she 511 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,200 was bothering me. I said a lot to her and hung on 512 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,240 her. Just few days she called me with 513 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,640 an unknown number again insulting me. 514 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,440 So I had to call my boss and tell him to warn the wife but it 515 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,880 seemed he had blocked me and I got a message from her again 516 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,800 saying you prostitute stop forcing yourself on him and I 517 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,120 replied by saying if she was a man wouldn't I be her type of 518 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,480 woman so why does she think I'm forcing myself on the husband. 519 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,800 Few minutes after I replied with that she called me saying let's 520 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,240 talk like women. She was trying to force some 521 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,560 words out of my mouth but I knew what she was up to so I ignored 522 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,240 her. Woke up to her missed calls and 523 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,440 messages saying she has confronted the husband and he 524 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:08,480 has confessed to her. So I texted her on WhatsApp. 525 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,200 She has something to tell me that I ignored her messages and 526 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,360 before she called me I woke up to see her husband's missed 527 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:20,400 calls. OK I was quite surprised. 528 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,240 Ekia, what do you think I should do? 529 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,760 First of all, pray and ask for forgiveness because you 530 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,920 intentionally dated a married man knowing very well that he's 531 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,240 a married man and he can never be for you. 532 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,280 And you went ahead to hurt the wife in so many ways. 533 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,800 But then you're coming here to pretend and make it sound like 534 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:43,160 you know, it's, it's not a biggie. 535 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,240 And in as much as you know, I, I as a woman, I'm hoping that you 536 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,200 understand why the wife was crashing out. 537 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:55,000 I hope you understand why the wife was coming up to you like 538 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,040 that and you would have handled it better even if in the time 539 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,280 that she came up to you were not in a relationship with her 540 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,520 husband. You were threats to her marriage 541 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:07,920 at some point and so she came at you could have handled it 542 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,320 better. That being said, ignore the 543 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,240 situation and she calls again. Don't respond fat block all of 544 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,320 them and move on, OK? I don't think you need to really 545 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:23,720 set yourself in that. Just do better next time, OK? 546 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,680 Dear Aqui, I'm a lady of 24 years and a level 200 student, 547 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,040 but note that I am a certificate student which requires only two 548 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,720 years in school. I'm coming from a polygamous 549 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,000 home which my mother happens to be the second wife. 550 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,520 My father died when I was in SHS two in 2019. 551 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,720 Life was rough since I was a teenager. 552 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:50,840 I completed JHS in 2016 with my twin sister but I was not able 553 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,400 to get into SHS because of financial problems. 554 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,480 At that time, my elder sister and brother was already in SHS 555 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,960 which made my mom impossible to send my twin sister and I to 556 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,000 school even though I came out to be the best student in my school 557 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,440 with great results. My twin sister being the second 558 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,840 position, I hopped on the street for two years to be able to 559 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,840 gather money and continue my education. 560 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:17,320 I got admitted into SHS in the year 2018 when my twin sister 561 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,160 also got married in the same month. 562 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,360 I must start my SHS. Yes, she got married against her 563 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,800 wish which I refused to. I was paying for my textbooks 564 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,400 and other necessities whilst my mom was paying my school fees. 565 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,800 Though there was sometimes I help when I have some money with 566 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,320 me. This continued until my father 567 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,280 died when I was in SHS two. Life continues afterwards and I 568 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,000 was able to complete with good grades. 569 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,360 I didn't thought of tertiary because I knew there was no 570 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:50,960 financial support from home. Note, I'm the sixth born of my 571 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,520 my mother. I have sisters who are not 572 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,680 educated. It's only the 5th born and I who 573 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,640 were able to get through to SHS. As this continued, I met a lady 574 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,880 who introduced the tertiary she attended since I have interest 575 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,040 in that sector. So I started preparing myself 576 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,960 towards that. I told my family about my 577 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,520 intentions to continue to the tertiary side. 578 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,600 Though my mom was first against it, I managed to convince her 579 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,200 and finally she agreed. At the same year, my elder 580 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,800 sister also is about to get into tertiary after six years of 581 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,880 staying home. It was due to financial 582 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,200 problems. Finally with the ups and downs, 583 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,680 I was able to get into tertiary with the help of my step 584 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,320 brothers since they were well to do. 585 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,720 It later became an insult and mockery because they helped me 586 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,960 with 1000 Ghana cities each which they said they weren't 587 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,480 going to do anything when it comes to my education. 588 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,000 Finally started tertiary last year but as soon as I got there, 589 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,280 no feeding, money comes from home, nothing at all. 590 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,040 Everything is left for me to be to dealt with. 591 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,760 Life was really tough in school, no money. 592 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,600 Some days I wake up with nothing. 593 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,520 Just continue to like. Met a guy who has been really 594 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,600 supportive in my life. I worry less of food or anything 595 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,800 else. He paid for my house, remaining 596 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,520 school fees and my rents together with my provisions. 597 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,640 He's literally doing everything for me. 598 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,000 It's been one year since we because I met him six months 599 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,360 after I started my tertiary. The issue right now is I am two 600 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,520 months pregnant for him and we are willing to keep it since I 601 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,720 will be done with my education by December. 602 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,560 I really know how to tell my family considering the fact that 603 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,240 I'm coming from a strong Muslim background. 604 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,600 Though I spoke to my twin sister but she was totally against me 605 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:32,600 keeping it. Right now. 606 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,520 I don't know what to do Please I need your opinion because it's 607 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,840 either I choose home or myself and my baby. 608 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:56,270 Thank you. Comment section Please handle 609 00:33:56,270 --> 00:34:07,030 this. Muslim backgrounds Is the guy a 610 00:34:07,030 --> 00:34:15,429 Christian or a Muslim? The answer to that will 611 00:34:15,630 --> 00:34:19,920 determine oh come next. But if the guys are Muslim, I 612 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,679 really don't see any problem with it. 613 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,679 You give birth, you marry, and you go. 614 00:34:26,679 --> 00:34:30,639 If the guy's a Christian, you love him, and that would be a 615 00:34:30,639 --> 00:34:34,719 problem for your family, then you need to actually have a 616 00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,199 conversation with your family. Frankly speaking, abortion 617 00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:41,880 really isn't the right thing in general, right? 618 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,400 It is your body, and you choose to do whatever you want to do 619 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,600 with it. But at the end of the day, 620 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:53,239 abortion really isn't right and it has its own, you know, side 621 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,880 effects. Even if it's not your body that 622 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,840 is going to go through something, your mind is going to 623 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,600 go through something. So if you have a man, regardless 624 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,760 of the religion, and is willing to be there for you and marry 625 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,000 you, I don't really think your family should have issues with 626 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,160 it. But one thing that we are prone 627 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:17,720 to doing in our side of the continent is to make religion, 628 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,880 you know, the thing that comes between us. 629 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:27,600 Do you understand? So it's dependent on whether the 630 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,640 guy is a Muslim or a Christian. And try to have a conversation 631 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,000 with your family. Your sister is giving you that 632 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,520 response because she's panicking. 633 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,880 She's scared of how your parents are going to respond to it. 634 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,280 All right, That's what I actually think. 635 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,360 OK, All right. I want to end the episode here. 636 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,200 I want to say thank you very much for watching. 637 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,960 I want to say thank you very much for sticking with me. 638 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,600 My name is Anika Adipando and this is the POV podcast. 639 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,920 I also want to talk to you about Supernatural breakfast meeting 640 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:03,760 that is happening October 18th, 2025 at the Aqua International 641 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,760 Conference Center. It's an impactful service and I 642 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,880 want you to come and change your life. 643 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:13,440 I've been to Spanish Breakfast meeting and I'm going to tell 644 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,240 you that my very first experience changed a lot of 645 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,400 things for me when it comes to my spiritual journey with God. 646 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:23,880 And so I want you to come and I want you to enjoy the service 647 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,240 and take something out of the service, OK? 648 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,560 It's been done by Holy Hill Assemblies of God. 649 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,440 That is where I church. And so I am. 650 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,520 I am confident that your life will never remain the same. 651 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,240 If you come, I'll see you there on the 18th of October. 652 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:42,200 Come and encounter Jesus. See you in the next video. 653 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:42,840 Bye.