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If I live in Ghana and my wife 
makes 10 million Ghana C DS a 

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month and I make 7000 C DS and 
somebody has to stay home and 

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take care of the house so that I
don't know where make money and 

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come, I wouldn't say because 
she's the woman she should stay 

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home. 
I say 10 million Ghana C DS. 

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What are you talking about now 
I'm. 

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Moving more eagles to be fancy. 
For that is their. 

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Problem. 
Anytime I think about say I'm 

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like why are people so pissed 
off when a young lady says I 

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want Amanda can take care of me 
as a spec as a preference. 

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So are we going to say that we 
shouldn't add that as such of 

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their preferences? 
When a lady says I want a guy 

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who can take care of me, then 
the men have a problem with 

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that. 
Why? 

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Why should you have a that's 
what she wants? 

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If you're not in that category, 
move and let them go looking for

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what she wants. 
So then do you agree that people

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should date in their lane? 
Not, you know, because they, 

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they, I think, right, this is my
personal way. 

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I think that some men feel like 
they should have access to every

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woman. 
That's. 

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I think that's what brings the 
fight because if you don't feel 

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like you, you, you need access 
to. 

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I am, I am looking for the web. 
I don't want to sound insulting,

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I I can't do that. 
So I'm looking for the web. 

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But that's very weak mentality. 
If if if if I should put it that

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way. 
At this, Jan Chai is like when 

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you say you want something 
specific about someone you would

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want to be with. 
It has become a problem. 

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If you say you want somebody 
that's a steak, you have, you 

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know you are talking plenty, 
you're talking rubbish. 

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If you want somebody that is 
paying, that's the problem. 

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If you want somebody that has 
money, you're a good digger if 

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you haven't got somebody that 
like a whole lot. 

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And so we're going to go through
that. 

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We're going to unpack that 
particular issue that is going 

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on on social media. 
But before we go in there, do 

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you have a spec? 
I do. 

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Tell us your spec. 
Somebody who is sensible. 

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That's your spec. 
Yeah, let's, let's top. 

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On the list, there are types of 
specs. 

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You know, there's the physical 
attributions, and then there's 

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the other one. 
So let's start with the physical

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and I'm going. 
Secondly, physical, still 

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somebody who aspects. 
No, the fact is that that's 

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that's the priority. 
You know when when you know 

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somebody who is empathetic, who 
is considerate and thinks about 

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other people's well-being other 
than themselves, everything else

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can follow. 
OK, so for me that's top of the 

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list. 
Before I physical, I don't 

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really think there is something 
I would not like. 

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OK, so anything. 
Other than that, other than you 

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being unhealthy of course. 
What do you mean by being 

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unhealthy? 
So nowadays when you talk about 

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it, the thing you are, you are 
shaming somebody. 

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00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:03,120
But I'm not shaming anybody. 
Being unhealthy can be either 

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malnourished or obese. 
So it's the full spectrum for 

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me. 
It's not just about I've, I've 

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been with very slim ladies of 
all, I've been with thick ones, 

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thick ones before. 
And so I mean, I mean. 

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So you like, I feel like with 
what you're describing, it looks

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like you want people in the 
middle like. 

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I want middle and above I I 
hear. 

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But I mean physically I will 
choose balance. 

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That's that's what I say all the
time. 

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I would want to choose a 
balance, not too much on this 

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side and the other side it's not
giving, not present or too much.

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And if it's balanced, it's it's 
good for me. 

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Ubres Kaka bunda Kaka you. 
Know everything. 

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Let me look at something. 
I beg, I'm beg. 

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If you can't do this like that, 
then yeah. 

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OK, so understanding your spec, 
I mean it's reasonable, but then

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when does it become unreasonable
to have a spade? 

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Because as I said before, it has
become a problem now when you 

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say you want a certain type of 
person. 

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00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,480
So what I think about this, 
basically there's a battle 

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between males and female. 
I don't say men and women, males

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and females, when it comes to 
physical attributes. 

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Mostly women have a problem when
a man has that spec. 

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In what sense? 
In the sense that walk on the 

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street, ask a lady what do you 
look out for in a man? 

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They will gladly tell you I want
6 pack and somebody who's taller

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than me because I want to look 
up to him. 

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I don't want to look down on 
him. 

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What happens to the short guys? 
The short guys also deserve love

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00:04:55,360 --> 00:05:00,200
shots kings. 
But if the tables are turned and

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00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,360
the guy says OK I want just new 
lady. 

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I don't want the fact girl. 
They say you are body shaming 

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00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,320
mostly always say that. 
Then on the other side when a 

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lady says I want a guy who can 
take care of me then the men 

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have a problem with it. 
Why? 

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00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,800
Why should you have a that's 
what she wants? 

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00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,800
If you're not in that category, 
move and let her go looking for 

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00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,680
what she wants. 
So then do you agree that people

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00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,520
should date in their lane? 
Not, you know, because they, 

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00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,360
they, I think, right. 
This is my personal way. 

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00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,680
I think that some men feel like 
they should have access to every

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woman. 
That's. 

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00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,160
I think that's what brings the 
fight because if you don't feel 

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like you, you, you need access. 
To I am, I'm looking for the 

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web. 
I don't want to sound insulting.

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I I can't do that. 
So I'm looking for the web. 

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But that's very weak mentality. 
If, if, if, if I should put it 

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that way, because human beings 
have choices and the fact that 

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you see somebody you're 
attracted to them doesn't 

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necessarily mean they have to us
duplicate it. 

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It's, it doesn't work like that.
So if I like you and you don't 

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like me, move. 
But it's looking like it's 

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becoming a fight because this is
a thing. 

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I remember some time back, 
right, there was this whole 

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thing about men that are like us
and then women that are also 

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looking for men that will take 
care of them. 

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And then the only attributed, 
you know, you need to have, 

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let's say if you're a man and 
you're looking for a girl that 

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has us and you need to have 
money, you know, and I'm like, 

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OK, So what about those that 
don't have us that are looking 

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for men that are going to take 
care of them? 

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00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,280
It all comes down to choices. 
I mean, there are men who have 

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the means to take care of a 
woman and they are not looking 

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for as much flesh as I would 
look for. 

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So they want something portable 
that can fit into their perhaps 

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and that's that's their choice 
and they have the means. 

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So when they meet a lady like 
that, they are more than ready 

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to take care of them. 
I I think that when people talk 

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about choices, no, nobody should
have a a problem with it. 

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Yeah, but they do. 
So now they have to find why 

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they do. 
That's one weak mentality and 

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lack of understanding, because 
if you understand how the world 

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works, even God does not force 
people to worship him. 

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He says he has given everybody 
free will. 

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So if God himself cannot force 
me to worship him, who are you 

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to tell me I must like you by 
force? 

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Or who are you to say you have 
access to everybody? 

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Everybody has a choice. 
So it's it's it's a mentality 

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problem from from my 
perspective. 

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I think the whole idea of, you 
know, spec and preferences in 

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relationship, like you said, it 
has become a war between a male 

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and female, you know, the gender
thing. 

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And because of that, people 
coming up with, oh, I want this 

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in that person. 
I want that in that person. 

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00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,000
Now it's become a superficial 
thing. 

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They feel like it's superficial 
now. 

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00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,320
Anything that comes to you, take
it. 

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I think that is bull crap 
because everybody, just like you

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have the right to serve whoever 
I want to serve. 

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00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,240
It's like you have the right to 
put or whoever I want to put, I 

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00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,800
also have the right to choose. 
Yeah, because from her 

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whereabouts, I also have the 
right to choose whoever I want 

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to be with. 
And so in 100 years, anytime I 

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00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,320
think about it, I'm like, why 
are people so pissed off when a 

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young lady says I would, Amanda 
can take care of me as a spec, 

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00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,960
as a preference. 
So are we going to say that we 

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00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,159
shouldn't add that as such of 
the preferences? 

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00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,520
You talk about being 
superficial. 

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I think that, you know, for most
men, I can't say 100%. 

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00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,600
You can't generalize like that 
anywhere. 

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For most men, they people say 
that a man can marry any lady 

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but women have to women can't. 
They have to make sure they get 

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00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:08,200
somebody who fits their criteria
because a man loves 100% women. 

160
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,000
Yes, I'm very sure of 
attempting. 

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If you want we can discuss it. 
Men love unconditionally, but a 

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man is only loved on condition 
that he can provide. 

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00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,480
OK, I hear people say this a 
lot. 

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A man can pick up any lady from 
anywhere and say I'm taking care

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of you. 
OK. 

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00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,480
To a certain point, and then 
I'll marry. 

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00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,960
Hardly. 
Will you hear any do that? 

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00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,400
Yeah. 
But you see, if we're saying 

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that, then we could also say 
that at some point men would be 

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like, I don't want a woman that 
cannot take care of their home. 

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That's also a preference. 
For me it is. 

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00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,200
So they can't marry anybody. 
They they there are people who 

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would gladly take care of the 
whole. 

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00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,360
That's why there are also women 
that would gladly marry men that

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don't have it. 
Yes, but but that's that's, 

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00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,840
that's scarce. 
If I should put it in that 

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00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,600
sense, it says scarce because it
happens. 

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00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,040
I'm not saying it's it's not 
there it happens, but it's it's 

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quite scarce a man. 
Listen, let's let's come down to

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if you go home today and tell 
your parents that I've met this 

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00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:24,880
guy I'm going to marry him. 
Your mother might be all because

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you may not all emotional about 
things oh blah, blah, blah, but 

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00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,560
to he or for he and all those 
things. 

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00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,640
But your father will sit you 
down and one of the top three 

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00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,920
questions you will ask is what 
job does he do? 

186
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,760
OK, you can try this anywhere 
my. 

187
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,840
Mom would do exactly the what 
job not. 

188
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,880
The what job does he do? 
It's a requirement for every guy

189
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,920
who wants to settle down with 
that Lady, even from the lady's 

190
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,760
family. 
But I have brothers, right? 

191
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:54,040
And then when I remember at some
point my mom talking about the 

192
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,920
fact that is my brother, sure, 
like when the first one was 

193
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,000
getting married, is he sure that
the lady that is bringing on 

194
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,040
can't take care of the home? 
I think for men too, that is a 

195
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,360
thing that. 
Requires some. 

196
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,800
It's a thing, yes. 
Yes, it is also a thing because 

197
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,040
now when you talk about gender 
roles people are saying you're 

198
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:17,240
being sexist. 
But the fact is there that women

199
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:23,080
are natures and a man can do 
whatever he wants to provide a 

200
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,640
house and give birth. 
But it is the woman who makes it

201
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,640
a home. 
The woman is the one who will 

202
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:34,000
nurture the home, including the 
man, and make sure the place is 

203
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,920
welcoming. 
Women are multipliers. 

204
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,200
You give her a little she's 
capable of using. 

205
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,240
I don't know how, but it's a God
giving thing. 

206
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:48,000
If you believe in God, if you 
don't, what if I believe in give

207
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:54,200
it to you and be able to 
multiply that and make it huge. 

208
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:58,400
I remember Michelle Obama was 
asked some time ago that if she 

209
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,800
hadn't married Barack Obama, 
what would she have have done? 

210
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,720
Is that she will still be the 
wife of her president, OK? 

211
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,880
Because it is her destiny to be 
the wife of the president. 

212
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,280
Whether you, if you, if you 
marry him and you have tapped 

213
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,640
into that. 
Donald Trump cries still. 

214
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,480
She still would have been and I,
I believe her. 

215
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,840
OK, because women have a way of 
getting things done. 

216
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:28,240
OK, Yes, men, we are there. 
But women have this way of 

217
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,360
working things out and you think
about it and it will shock you. 

218
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,800
So what? 
What I'm saying is that the 

219
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:39,000
gender roles are there in the 
world we live in now. 

220
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,360
It is up to the two people in 
the relationship or the marriage

221
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,560
to sit and discuss. 
I mean, if I live in Ghana and 

222
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:53,800
my wife makes 10 million Ghana C
DS a month and I make 7000 C DS 

223
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,880
and somebody has to stay home 
and take care of the house so 

224
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,560
that I don't know where make 
money and come. 

225
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,080
I wouldn't say because she's the
woman, she should stay home. 

226
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,600
Must say 10 million Ghana 
cities. 

227
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,440
What are you talking? 
About and I'm moving uiggles to 

228
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,200
move to me fancy. 
For that is their problem. 

229
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,680
You think the culture we live in
also does not help when it comes

230
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,560
to these things. 
And Aberman you say? 

231
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,360
And Aberman you say Aberman. 
Last week we talked. 

232
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,480
About this whole men and 
feelings thing. 

233
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,840
It's, it's, it's, it's neither 
here nor there. 

234
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,560
That time is past. 
The fact that the fact on the 

235
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,240
ground is that time is past. 
Now the two of you in the 

236
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,640
relationship discuss and decide 
this will work for us. 

237
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,440
No2 relationships are the same. 
It is never the same. 

238
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,040
You can have this pastor's 
family and this pastor's family.

239
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,360
Let's train this pastor's 
daughter after her mother. 

240
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,080
Let's train this pastor's son 
after his father. 

241
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,920
Let them get married. 
Their marriage will never be 

242
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,960
like their parents. 
It doesn't happen. 

243
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:54,120
Twins are not the same. 
So I watched the video some few 

244
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:58,720
days ago of twins. 
I think they were born those who

245
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,440
do like shall best thing and 
they give it, you know, a pool 

246
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,440
of water and all those things. 
So the trains were in the water 

247
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,240
and the caption was that these 
things don't know they are born 

248
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,840
yet. 
So because they were still under

249
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,760
the water in the in cool, you 
know those who were born then 

250
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,880
then one had full grown hair. 
The other one looked like an old

251
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,360
man who was bored. 
So it's like I'm there to 

252
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,600
comment and ask why does one 
look young and the other one 

253
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:25,560
looks like he's losing his hair?
But I, I didn't write anything. 

254
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,920
I mean, somebody's day one, no 
one to be mean like that. 

255
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,280
Even twins were born on that day
were different. 

256
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,720
So no two relationships will 
work the same way. 

257
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,320
One will work for you and I 
might not work for me and 

258
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,160
another lady, even though I'm a 
common factor in here. 

259
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:43,520
So now the, the world that we 
live in now, I think that people

260
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,080
just have to come to an 
understanding and discuss. 

261
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,520
That's why I'm saying for me, 
top priority is somebody who is 

262
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,000
sensible. 
We need to sit and talk about 

263
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,640
things. 
Do you believe that having a, 

264
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,920
what do you call it, a spec you 
know, gives you unrealistic 

265
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,080
dreams and you know all those 
things? 

266
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,400
Some are. 
So what? 

267
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:09,120
What are what's, what's you 
know, Professor, would you want 

268
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,680
that? 
Seems unrealistic. 

269
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:17,760
You see what I say is this if if
you want to put down a list of 

270
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:21,880
things that you want in your 
partner, first look for those 

271
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,640
things in yourself. 
If it is possible for you to 

272
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:28,600
achieve those things then by all
means you can list them and say 

273
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,280
your partner should be. 
You live in Ghana. 

274
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,640
How many aeronautic engineers do
we have in Ghana? 

275
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:41,600
And you are saying you want one 
who is God fearing who has 6 

276
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:47,440
pack, is 6 feet tall, makes 6 
figures and that's the specific 

277
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,920
job. 
Sometimes see ladies, sometimes 

278
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,480
we have to tone it down. 
I mean it's OK to have choices 

279
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:59,000
but Charlie sometimes let's 
realistic we, we live from the 

280
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:04,080
known to the unknown. 
So if you want to have choices, 

281
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,640
make choices of the ones that 
are available and do a nice 

282
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,280
combination. 
I have heard a pastor say that 

283
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,160
you want somebody who is calm, 
who will not maltreat you, who 

284
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,680
is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
but you go out and look for bad 

285
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,480
boys because you want adventure 
attached to that. 

286
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:25,080
Meanwhile, they're cool, calm, 
collected, pampering people you 

287
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,080
are talking about. 
They are in the church. 

288
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,440
They are church boys who makes 
you know who are not 

289
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,240
adventurous. 
I don't think they're in the 

290
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,680
church. 
You say I don't think they're. 

291
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,680
Some are in the church. 
Some. 

292
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,960
Yes, Yeah, Some are found in 
church, some are found on the 

293
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,920
streets, some are, some are in 
the club. 

294
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,160
I mean, people are everywhere. 
But what I'm saying is that 

295
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,600
don't go look out for somebody 
who is wildly doing things that 

296
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,320
are wild. 
I think you can change them. 

297
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:54,840
Do you think people you know 
having specs, those ideas are 

298
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,280
keeping them from their real 
partners? 

299
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,600
Yes, sometimes that haven't. 
So if your spec is not your real

300
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,760
partner, then why are you even 
having those specs in the first 

301
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,839
place? 
What what? 

302
00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:06,960
What do you mean by real 
partner? 

303
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,680
You already have a partner. 
No. 

304
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,319
So you have an idea of who you 
want to be with, which is your 

305
00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:12,839
preference of who you want to be
with. 

306
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,920
Do you think having those 
preferences, like wanting a guy 

307
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:20,640
that is tall or a dark guy or a 
guy that you know is living on 

308
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,079
their own, a guy that is, do you
think having those, you know, 

309
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,880
preferences can keep you away 
from meeting somebody that's 

310
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,320
actually going to be the one for
you? 

311
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,760
I believe so. 
Sometimes that happens in the 

312
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,600
sense that there are times if 
you have listed 6 things you 

313
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,960
want in a guy, you find somebody
who has three, find somebody who

314
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,560
has four of them. 
Why you look here, you find 

315
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,120
somebody who has five, You'll 
never find all of them in the 

316
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:52,720
same guy. 
More often than not readily made

317
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,920
like that for you. 
You can't, OK? 

318
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,840
Sometimes you are the one who is
going to build him to achieve 

319
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,480
the two that you don't find in 
him. 

320
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,480
OK, be careful. 
I'm not saying when waste your 

321
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,760
time some guy who you don't see 
any future with then do it. 

322
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:16,520
But but some just sometimes it's
it's all in the being realistic.

323
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,760
You have found a guy who just 
fresh out of the university 

324
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,160
doing national service and our 
university boy. 

325
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,200
So we were training while 
building a worker. 

326
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,920
You see he's muscular, he has 
some sex packs. 

327
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,800
He's not coming to start life. 
You want somebody like that to 

328
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,800
be making sex figures. 
You want him to be driving a 

329
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:38,160
Mercedes and national service 
paying a singing 750 Ghana CDs. 

330
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,320
You want him to be driving their
bans on 750 Ghana CDs a month. 

331
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,240
How much food does he eat in the
month? 

332
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,840
You may be the one who would 
connect him to this man and that

333
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,960
man and that woman and that 
woman who would link him to go 

334
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,320
get some job that could give him
that kind of life. 

335
00:18:55,840 --> 00:19:01,680
So if you find some of the 
things you have listed and 

336
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:06,200
potential in him, then by all 
means built. 

337
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,680
But then one of the things that 
also I, I have in mind is this 

338
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:16,400
is your spec, your spec as in 
what you want does that that 

339
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,880
same person want you to. 
So let's just say I see you as 

340
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,960
my. 
Thank you very much. 

341
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,520
Thank you. 
Thank you very much for that 

342
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:32,320
question. 
The question again, there's this

343
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,760
video, I'm sure you've seen it. 
It has circulated on social 

344
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:39,720
media a lot. 
And these Americans, they sat on

345
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,000
a podcast like this and they 
were discussing and the woman 

346
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,280
was like the man who is like 
this and like this and like this

347
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,720
and like this. 
They are not there anymore. 

348
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,000
And there was a guy there who 
said, no, I don't agree with 

349
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,600
you. 
They are there. 

350
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,320
They are the fuelling stations. 
They are the banks, they are the

351
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,800
markets, they are the 
supermarkets. 

352
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,960
They are everywhere. 
It is just that you are not what

353
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,640
they are looking for. 
So when they meet you, they're 

354
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,280
also looking for some specs so 
they will pass you by and you 

355
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,560
wouldn't even get the chance to 
know him, to know that he 

356
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:15,920
actually fits your preference. 
So it's, it's actually the The 

357
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,280
funny thing is that a lot of 
people think we have choices, 

358
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,760
but the other guy shouldn't have
a choice. 

359
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,080
So once we see you and we say, 
oh, you fit into like, and the 

360
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,080
guy says, no, my, my focus is 
somewhere else. 

361
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,520
And then the a lot of people 
don't know how to handle 

362
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,240
rejection. 
Thank you A. 

363
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:41,440
Lot of people don't know how to 
respond to no, so that is the 

364
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,960
major factor in this whole spec 
and choices issue. 

365
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:51,080
If we all agreed that well, he 
fits into my categories but. 

366
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,640
If I don't fit. 
It's if I don't fit into his and

367
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,960
he doesn't want me. 
If I don't fit into his and she 

368
00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:00,160
doesn't want me and then also be
be careful where you find your 

369
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:10,440
spec, OK, because one, if you're
looking for ADB who or Whiska he

370
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,040
she's this, she's that, she's 
this and you find one in the 

371
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,920
Trotsky. 
It's questionable. 

372
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,120
DB is also. 
No, now you. 

373
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,720
The only thing you're looking 
for is ADB who spends, I mean 

374
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,680
vacation or say OK, this 
vacation, I spend it in Spain or

375
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,840
probably be in Dubai or 
something like that. 

376
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,040
You think that person is sitting
in the trusty waiting for you. 

377
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,600
It doesn't happen like that. 
It does not happen. 

378
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,560
So be careful where you 
sometimes dress up. 

379
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,320
Go to places that are a little 
above. 

380
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,200
If the person you're looking for
is above some standards that you

381
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:57,320
are in dress up. 
Go somewhere, pay 350 CDs, go 

382
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,680
for buffet at Lancaster or one 
of the big hotels. 

383
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,520
You will meet what you are the 
spec you are looking for some 

384
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:09,840
nice lady with some very nice 
figure almost 6 feet. 

385
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,480
She's tall and that she has but 
she's DB but she's holding her 

386
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:18,000
car keys and they also are 
looking for love. 

387
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:23,040
But if you find her there as she
speaks you in you are not a spec

388
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:29,080
and he says no, please move on. 
See me this whole idea of 

389
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:34,640
speaking thing I've OK, so 
growing up, I think my whole 

390
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:41,520
idea of spec has been black man,
you know, a bit taller than me, 

391
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,440
responsible, OK, has sense like 
you said. 

392
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,520
Yeah, yeah, you know, Wait, 
wait, let's start again. 

393
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,760
Black man a bit taller than you.
Responsible has sense four 4x4 

394
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:53,520
Let's go. 
Oh, let's go. 

395
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:57,000
Four way it's empathetic. 
Five, you know. 

396
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:02,160
Is a homely person 6A person 
the. 

397
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,920
Only Empire. 
Is also responsible in terms of 

398
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,600
providing. 
I'm not saying that you are 

399
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,840
coming to do 100% like you know,
but at least be able to take 

400
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:17,400
care of your own self. 7. 
The real 'cause it's. 

401
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,320
Very important to me continuing.
You're able to take care of 

402
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,320
yourself. 
Yeah, if you find yourself in 

403
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:27,880
that space and after spending 
time with you. 

404
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,960
And the trick is, for me, I 
don't care if we're everything 

405
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,000
in these books and I spent time 
with you and then the energy 

406
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:40,360
doesn't match, I will detach. 
What is the energy you're 

407
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,600
talking about? 
I mean, some people can, you 

408
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,240
know, fit your physical 
attribution, but then when you 

409
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,600
are able to get in touch with 
them, like you can't even 

410
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:53,120
communicate with the person. 
You can't even like talk with a 

411
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,560
person on something and it won't
turn into like a fight. 

412
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,840
I remember I met somebody who 
fit my like physical way and 

413
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,160
then. 
Use me as an application. 

414
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,080
No, I love it. 
I am. 

415
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,760
Let's start again. 
I am back. 

416
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,400
I'm a back man. 
I am taller than you. 

417
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:17,440
I am responsible. 
I am out homely, continue 

418
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,120
continue add empathetic. 
I am, Oh my God. 

419
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,280
Yeah. 
I can cry for you. 

420
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,200
Add continue. 
Let's finish it. 

421
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,440
I've mentioned 5. 
Add the last two. 

422
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,200
It's OK. 
Responsible. 

423
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,120
I can't take care of myself 
well. 

424
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,400
And then the last one is you. 
Marry me, Can you take care of 

425
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,880
me? 
You said I should take care of 

426
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,880
myself. 
I need to take care. 

427
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,120
Of you obviously in the dating 
period, but when you migrate 

428
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,640
into marriage. 
My time with my I would have 

429
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,040
made money me. 
Yeah, no. 

430
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,840
But at the end of the day, I'm 
just trying to say that. 

431
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,400
What is left with the energy? 
Is the energy. 

432
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,080
Some people can fit your 
physical attribution, but in the

433
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,200
end, when you actually sit down 
with them, try to have a 

434
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,280
conversation with them, you 
realize that you're dumb as a 

435
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,720
beat. 
That's why I started with the 

436
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:06,000
person must have you know. 
And for me, I feel like in this 

437
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,880
generation, we'll look more into
the physical attribution. 

438
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,560
What does actually quickly end 
this part We look more into the 

439
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,280
physical attribution without 
going deep into you know, that's

440
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,480
where the superficial reasons 
ends. 

441
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:23,240
Girls do not ever compensate 
just because of a physical 

442
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,400
attributions. 
Well, the physique on your 

443
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,520
accident more pain than a 
consciousness. 

444
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:34,640
The the only thing, the only 
thing yes, because then the 

445
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,320
physical things that put you to 
him, they are not there again. 

446
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,960
Then what's next? 
So you should look beyond the. 

447
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,800
Yeah, that's. 
What I think anyway. 

448
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,400
You should you should look at 
everything physical, spiritual, 

449
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:51,480
mental, emotional, stability and
then financial. 

450
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,320
We can't downplay this. 
It is very important. 

451
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,600
See you guys. 
Didn't look like. 

452
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,920
Financially, I have friends who 
say, oh, my friend who says she 

453
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,360
likes you. 
The first thing I'll ask you is,

454
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,400
is she rich? 
Me, That's what I'll ask because

455
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,240
it is very important. 
Let's not play it down. 

456
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:17,080
Then later on you enter a 
relationship and you, you are 

457
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,160
now finding excuses to want to 
step out. 

458
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,120
It is very important. 
So these things, all of them, 

459
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,280
the physical is important, as 
important as the spiritual, the 

460
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,800
emotional, the mental and 
financial, it is very important.

461
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,840
Let's let's, let's do this 
quickly. 

462
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,840
We pretend like when somebody 
says I want financial security, 

463
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,720
the person is being a gold 
taker. 

464
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:45,440
Please, about six months ago, I 
almost moved to Taqwa because I 

465
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,720
wanted to go and then go and 
present me correct? 

466
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:57,760
Oh wow, that's nice. 
Please, if you are digging gold 

467
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,080
to to save yourself to be stable
financially, please go ahead and

468
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,040
dig. 
Don't mind anybody who will call

469
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,240
you a gold digger. 
One, don't be superficial and be

470
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,040
all about money and not think 
about anything else. 

471
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,520
But the money is also as 
important as everything else. 

472
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,000
So if you want financial 
stability and because of that 

473
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,720
they are calling you a gold 
digger, please go ahead and dig.

474
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,000
If you find where we can dig 
more, come and call me. 

475
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:27,480
I'll come and dig some because 
money is important. 

476
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:33,720
Yeah.