1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,720 When it comes to distant relationships, it wouldn't work 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,880 without communication. Run towards the opposite 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,000 direction. Because that *** those type of 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,720 *** they don't change. We're standing in the middle of 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:19,800 people in love, you see. I hope and pray you'll continue 6 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,080 to be busy for the rest of your life. 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:42,840 Isaac Malku, you're broking somebody's hearts, guys. 8 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,800 I have super exciting announcements to make. 9 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:53,360 So the POV podcast, the POV podcast has been nominated for 10 00:00:53,360 --> 00:01:00,880 Paul. I'm super excited. 11 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:05,080 God has bought us far and we've been nominated as part of the 12 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,760 podcast influenza category. Yes. 13 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:12,400 So please go search, post influenza awards and then go to 14 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,040 the podcast site and vote for the POV. 15 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,400 I know that you know, it's for me that's big. 16 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,240 It means that we're making some impact and making some change, 17 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,000 you know, in the minds of people when it comes to connecting, 18 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,480 loving in all that. I'm so excited, which is the 19 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:34,160 nomination alone. I know that it's a big deal. 20 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,880 Just the nomination, it's a big deal. 21 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:41,200 That being said, please vote and thank you for nominating it 22 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,520 'cause I did not even know. I got surprised on Snap when 23 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,440 someone said your podcast has been nominated. 24 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,880 Do I remember? And then I had to go and check 25 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,600 and I was like, oh, my goodness. So yeah, it was Joanne. 26 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,760 It was Joanne that texted me. I woke up at 2:00 AM and I saw 27 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,600 it. I'm super excited. 28 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:04,480 That being said, now, talking about the fluid safe, a young 29 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:12,640 lady sent me a message that she was single and wants a healthy 30 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:17,120 relationship. And frankly speaking, when I was 31 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:21,080 doing it, I did not think it was going to would that Fasha. 32 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,920 But that video has as at the time I'm recording this episode, 33 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:35,000 92,000 views and 1000 plus comments with men I'm assuming 34 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,760 responsible because in the video I said that if you're not a 35 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:44,520 responsible man, don't come here, you know Ah God. 36 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:50,520 That being said young lady, I told you that being the comments 37 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,880 section you know or resend me a message so that I know is you 38 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:00,560 because of you young woman. My DM's are flooded thousands of 39 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,480 people. My comment section is flooded 40 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,800 thousands. Show yourself and start doing 41 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:10,760 some vetting and come and answer some questions like why do men 42 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,520 ghost you? Do you think there's something 43 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,760 wrong with you or you know something about you is causing 44 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,760 it or they're just jerks, you know? 45 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,520 Come and stop hiding yourself 'cause you have a lot of suitors 46 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,440 now you're looking for suitor. You have a suitor. 47 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:32,320 You're now running. Let me let me go into the 48 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,680 stories we have for this session 'cause I don't understand this 49 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,520 one. But if they posted it on social 50 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:43,200 media, if they posted it on social media, if they posted it 51 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,560 on social media, then they made it our business. 52 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,400 So since they made it our business, we go make it our 53 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,440 business. Let's get into the story that we 54 00:03:52,440 --> 00:04:00,320 have for the episode. Dear Akia, please keep me 55 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,000 anonymous. There's this girl I've been seen 56 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,240 for some time now. I'm truly in love with this 57 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,280 girl, Ideally love her and have decided instead of going around 58 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,920 chasing different girls, why don't I stick with her so we can 59 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,800 build together. Oh, this is the continuation. 60 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,360 Ideally love her and I've decided instead of going around 61 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,640 chasing different girls, why don't I stick to her so that we 62 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,560 can build something together. She has shown me that she's also 63 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,520 ready to build something with me. 64 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:34,480 We spent time together, talk about life here and there. 65 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,640 In fact I don't have any friend so I took her as my everything 66 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,040 and told her everything. Even things I'm not supposed to 67 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,200 tell her, she does same too. There's nothing suspicious about 68 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,280 her. Fast forward before we start, I 69 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,520 asked her why she broke up with her ex and she said the guy 70 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,400 brought another woman to spend the night with him because she 71 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,920 doesn't spend the night with him. 72 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,360 So she caught them and they broke up. 73 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,360 However, to my surprise I found out she and her ex have been 74 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,600 chatting sending each other pictures. 75 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,800 Words which are not supposed to be shared were going on between 76 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,960 them. I confronted her and she started 77 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,280 crying. She told me yes she and the guy 78 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:17,480 have been talking for some time and she sometimes asks things 79 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,040 from the guy but they are not fucking. 80 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,760 I've been motionless for weeks now. 81 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,720 My heart is spinning me right now. 82 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,520 I'm in a dilemma. I don't know if she's telling me 83 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,080 the truth or not. I love this lady. 84 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,080 Please, what should I do? I don't want to play her too, 85 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,920 you see. So the last time I was saying 86 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:43,960 that if she ended up going back to the eggs, they live there 87 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,840 now. This, this, this, even this part 88 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,560 is beginning. Somebody that cheated on you so 89 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,040 you did not get over the guy and you moved on with someone else. 90 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,720 What were you trying to prove to use this one to to, to forget 91 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,880 about the other one. Was that what you were doing? 92 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:09,480 I my darling, you need to sit down and have. 93 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,880 I don't know how far you guys have gone now, if you guys are 94 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,000 booking up or not because I mean, I told you guys that 95 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,360 sometimes the stories backlog because there's a lot of 96 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:23,920 stories. But if you really are so with 97 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,000 this girl, sit her down and have an honest conversation with her. 98 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,000 It's either she's cutting off that ex and that's it's done 99 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,160 because according to her, we are we are believing that she did 100 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,920 not sleep with the guy. She has not slept with the guy 101 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,440 back. But even having that emotional 102 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,080 cheating thing with him itself is bad. 103 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,960 But let's just call that nostalgia. 104 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,640 Let's just call it that and have an honest conversation with her 105 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,160 that no, that must not go on. So you see that she's going 106 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,720 ahead with the ex or she's going ahead with you. 107 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,240 So she should just put one aside. 108 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,080 But I also find, you see, I'm very disappointed that she still 109 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,920 gave access to that guy after the guy cheating on her. 110 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:12,040 If you are not over somebody, this is to everybody, both male 111 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,920 and female. If you're not over your ex, 112 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:20,160 don't entertain anybody else because I feel like then you put 113 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,120 the other person in a particular position where the person falls 114 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,840 in love with you and then you 2 you are there still thinking 115 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,640 about someone else. It's not fair, Charlie. 116 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,640 Something that they, if they do to you, you're not going to be 117 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,000 happy. Don't do it to someone else. 118 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,640 Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. 119 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,280 If life works that way, I think Zanka a lot of things would give 120 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,560 me a problem. Do unto others what you want 121 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,000 others to do unto you. Charlie. 122 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,760 Dear Akia, please keep me anonymous. 123 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,440 I'm a 20 year old girl and I'm in a confused world right now. 124 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,840 I started dating at the age of 16. 125 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,720 My ex-boyfriend was a friend to my elderly sister. 126 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:08,600 He would come to our house, chat with my sister and play with me. 127 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,800 Also I found a friend in him and someone I could tell all my 128 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,040 worries to. At the age of 16 I was fully 129 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:22,760 grown with big bosom and backside, huge and curvy as 130 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,840 well. People are always refused as to 131 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:32,080 who the eldest is OK when they see me and my sister together. 132 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,039 Meanwhile I'm the youngest in the family. 133 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:41,159 This guy would talk to me about past experiences with girls and 134 00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:45,480 his numerous sexual encounters. I was curious because I had 135 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,040 never been in a relationship before and also experienced any 136 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,800 sexual intimacy. I wanted to try it, but not with 137 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,160 him. Maybe with someone better. 138 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,600 Better because he was too skinny for me. 139 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,400 You could count his bones. He was 20 at that time. 140 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,840 This guy has eyes for me all along. 141 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,760 I had no idea until I was about to write my BC that he confessed 142 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,840 his feelings to me. I was disgusted by his proposal 143 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,560 and shook him off. I simply told him I was writing 144 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,080 my exams and wouldn't like to be distracted. 145 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:27,920 He's one guy that you might not like him at the initials, but 146 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,840 he's very jovial and fluent in English. 147 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,320 That's one thing I liked about him. 148 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,400 Not long after I finished my exams, he brought up the 149 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,720 proposal again. I got mad and wouldn't talk to 150 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,360 him because I didn't like him at all. 151 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,800 I spoke to my best friend to convince me to accept his 152 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:51,040 proposal, for which she did. She also told me about a past 153 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,680 relationship and the sexual pleasures it came with. 154 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:59,120 I got more confused thinking I was missing out on something. 155 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,960 Now my friend, she knew me better. 156 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:08,120 I was thinking she would protect me, but rather she was giving me 157 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,880 away. She knew I didn't like short 158 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,920 dresses and even fitted ones because of my figure. 159 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,200 I feared big men approaching me because they always mistook me 160 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,240 for a grown woman. Even with my haircut to the 161 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,200 lowest, my friend would always rebuke me for wearing long 162 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:31,360 dresses to the extent of that I didn't feel comfortable in them 163 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,640 anymore. She would come to my house in 164 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:37,120 the evenings and tell me to go for a straw with her, only to go 165 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:42,080 and meet up with my ex. They both convinced me and I 166 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,600 felt pressured and accepted the proposal. 167 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:49,160 Afterwards I went to see this guy alone. 168 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,080 He would kiss me and touch me till I'm aroused. 169 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,200 Sexually. I really felt good. 170 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,880 He knew the right places to touch. 171 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,960 I got enrolled into the secondary school and I still 172 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,400 kept in touch with him. Those days he would treat me 173 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,520 like a crane because he felt he won a lottery because many guys 174 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:10,280 wanted me. But he had me when I got to Form 175 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,240 2. During one vacation I lost my 176 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:16,360 dad, so my entire family went to the village to get started with 177 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,960 a funeral ceremony. They left me home because they 178 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,320 thought I was too young for that. 179 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:27,120 So I was home all by myself and this guy told me he wanted to 180 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,280 come and see me. I didn't hesitate because I knew 181 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,240 what was going to happen when he comes. 182 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,760 Surely he came and for the first time we had sex. 183 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,920 He broke my virginity that night. 184 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:43,720 I was happy though, not because he had sex to me but because I 185 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,960 have also experienced something called sex. 186 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,880 I was expecting him to treat me like how he used to but he 187 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,920 changed. Oh my God. 188 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,440 After that incident I never heard from him for about 3 days 189 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,800 until the next day he came to my house with a contraceptive pill 190 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,280 in his sweatpants. I took them and threw them away 191 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,200 and told him I was fine and he should go. 192 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,600 Deep down I was falling for him and couldn't stop myself from 193 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,520 loving him. I confessed my feelings to him 194 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:22,840 and it was my worst mistake. This guy would never call me or 195 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,480 text me at least to know how I'm doing. 196 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,880 He ignored me completely and anytime I complained about it he 197 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:35,400 will tell me that it won't take anything away from me if I also 198 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,360 checked up on him. I broke completely. 199 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:43,520 All I could think was of my mom. She was a full Christian woman 200 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:48,920 and she acted like a lioness. She would suck any guy who would 201 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:53,480 make advances towards me and she never liked this guy due to her 202 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,800 own reasons personally known to her. 203 00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,560 I told my best friend about how he was treating me and all that, 204 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,600 but she said nothing. All she did was laugh about it 205 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,720 and from that day I felt used. She even threatened to tell my 206 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,360 mom, which I begged her not to. Three months later, this guy 207 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,680 texted me that he's sorry and all, that he's battling with his 208 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:23,480 own issues, that he has ADHD and he forgets easily. 209 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:28,960 He forgets who he thinks he is sometimes and that I should 210 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,080 forgive him. I give him. 211 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,880 I gave in and accepted him back and for the second time we had 212 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,840 sex in his house. Mind you, I'm a faithful 213 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,080 partner. I don't cheat until you tell me 214 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:45,080 it's over. He suddenly switched back to his 215 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,800 old self, forgetting that I ever exist. 216 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:51,760 This time around I told him I can't do this relationship thing 217 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,840 again and all he would say is you're free to go anytime you 218 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,440 want. I cried my eyes out. 219 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:06,920 Hey, I cried my eyes out and promised I would never do that 220 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,280 thing called relationship. Six months later a foreign 221 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,840 number texted me. It was a friend from my junior 222 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,800 high school I had liked. He had liked me all along when 223 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,720 we were in school but never gathered the courage to tell me 224 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,000 because he feared being rejected. 225 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,160 This guy sat next to me in class. 226 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,680 He was very good to me. He always ensured that I was OK 227 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,080 and lack nothing in school. I just wanted to keep it casual 228 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,160 but he insisted I'd be his girlfriend. 229 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,520 At that time I was still healing from my first breakup which I 230 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,640 never told him. He kept bringing it up any time 231 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,600 he called me until I gave in. I did because he was a distant 232 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,640 and he wouldn't be asking for sex. 233 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,880 We've been dating for two years now and during the first year 234 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,600 everything was smooth and sweet which I found myself falling in 235 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,040 love again. He treats me so well, he 236 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,560 respects me way more than I expected, he's still that sweet 237 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:05,120 boy I used to know in school. But the only problem is I'm five 238 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:09,800 months older than him. Now that I'm 20 and he's still 239 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,520 19, I don't like it. The fact that I'm older than my 240 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,600 boyfriend turns me off completely, but sometimes I 241 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,120 shake it off because he treats me better. 242 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,480 Suddenly everything changed. I wouldn't hear from him for 243 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,920 days, he always blamed it on being tired due to work. 244 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,440 I texted him for hours, he wouldn't reply. 245 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,120 I'm broken again because I'm not getting the attention I needed. 246 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,880 He claims to love me and he's not ready to lose me to any 247 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,360 other guy. Promises to marry me and take me 248 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:44,160 along with him outside the country which is my dream. 249 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:48,000 So he's always pleading with me to be patient with him. 250 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,080 My ex is back in the picture asking for forgiveness after 251 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,880 breaking up with me for two years. 252 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,640 He claims to be all changed and ready to make things right this 253 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,440 time. Right now I'm confused to 254 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:04,680 whether to accept my ex back or wait for my new guy or be with 255 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,840 my ex and later break his heart when my man returns. 256 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,800 But I can't bear the idea of cheating. 257 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,280 I love my boyfriend so much please don't judge me what do I 258 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,360 do? My situation is like I feel 259 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:23,840 entangled. I don't think he should 260 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,760 entertain your ex. Your ex is a jerk. 261 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,160 He's trash. Don't entertain him. 262 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,640 I think you need to focus on relationship with your man now. 263 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,400 Have the patience. Be consistent with communication 264 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,760 with him. Make him understand that when it 265 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,760 comes to distant relationships, it wouldn't work without 266 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,760 communication and him leaving you like that, knowing very well 267 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,520 that you want the attention disrupts the relationship. 268 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,720 So yes, you are being patient, but it doesn't mean that the 269 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:58,760 things that make you love being in that relationships, you that 270 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,520 particular relationship you won't get. 271 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,359 If you understand that for your ex, run towards the opposite 272 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,440 direction. Because that *** those type of 273 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,760 *** they don't change. They don't change, they don't 274 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:18,079 change. That's the thing, please help 275 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,480 her sister. I need the audience opinion. 276 00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:23,800 Just wanted to make things clear so you don't misunderstand 277 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,040 anything. People in the comment section 278 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,880 keep asking me why do you have so much money? 279 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,680 You're only 20. Well I'm a nurse in Germany. 280 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,000 I live alone and I work hard, that's why I earn good money. 281 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,680 By the way, my boyfriend lives in Germany too, just like his 282 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:43,360 baby Mama. He only went to Ghana for two 283 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,160 months vacation. He's already back. 284 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,320 You remember that story where the lady said hey, baby daddy 285 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,440 takes money from here. No way bashing here for giving 286 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,720 the guy money And it sounds like it's suspicious that's the girls 287 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,360 respond. She came back to respond to the 288 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,800 comments. You know that you guys were 289 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,640 saying that she's being used and all pen. 290 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,320 No, no worry. No, no, it's not that. 291 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,840 She's trying to say that the guy is not that bad. 292 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:14,520 Jonathan, there you will stand in the middle of people in love. 293 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:22,200 You see? That's love it. 294 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,080 That's love it. There it Yeah. 295 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,600 About mentioning people's names, I want to share my own. 296 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,640 Some months ago, IA guy deemed me from the blue app. 297 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,480 I realized he has been trying to get my attention for years, so I 298 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,160 decided to hear your mouth for once. 299 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,120 He came all out and told me how he saw me at a wedding somewhere 300 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,560 20/20/22. He described me from what I was 301 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,040 wearing and all. He said he wanted a relationship 302 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,880 that would lead to marriage. I was just coming from a broken 303 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,360 heart so I told him to give me some time. 304 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,440 This guy would call me in the morning and evening. 305 00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:00,200 We vibed and all that. Some weeks after I decided to 306 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,360 give him a chance. He came with lots of promises. 307 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,320 I mean I cry and he's in dropping. 308 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,720 He was always giving me pressure to come and know where he lives. 309 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,480 One day he came to visit his parents at Tema, so I went to 310 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,520 meet him there and we went to his place together. 311 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:23,040 We got to jobbing around 11. PMA risk I took because I 312 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,160 thought he was serious about everything. 313 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,040 He said a lot. Pam. 314 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,120 I left there earlier than planned because According to 315 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:35,480 him, he needed to add to something at work. 316 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,200 This guy never called to ask where I've gotten to, even if 317 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,720 I'm safe. His attitude changed completely 318 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,120 after the visit. He didn't even give me a 319 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:48,760 password for TNT or even buy water for me. 320 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:52,320 But whatever I felt for him wasn't about money so I didn't 321 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,120 complain. When you call, he won't answer 322 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,480 and text messages take days to be replied. 323 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,800 It was. As if I was begging him for 324 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,400 attention, I just told him I was not going to be calling in 325 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,480 asking why he hasn't been calling, he said he was busy. 326 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,960 So I asked how come he's only busy. 327 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,800 Kim. He said he was busy. 328 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,960 So I asked how come he only became too busy to talk to me 329 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,000 after the visiting. He said he was going to change 330 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,160 and be a better person. That better person never came 331 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:30,400 through. Isaac Nemo. 332 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:37,040 Isaac Mahuku, I wasn't stupid to believe when I called you around 333 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,920 11:00 PM and you claimed to be in a prayer meeting. 334 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:50,680 Isaac Mahuku, I hope and pray you continue to be busy for the 335 00:20:50,680 --> 00:21:01,480 rest of your life. Isaac Maoko, you're broking 336 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:07,680 somebody's hearts and they brought your kids to my, my, my, 337 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,960 my house. Isaac Maoko, why would you do 338 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,160 this? Good. 339 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,120 Oh, I don't even know how to defend people again. 340 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:28,120 What a helly my darling. I know Isaac Maoko has broken 341 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:34,320 your heart, but it is well OK. It will grow. 342 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,480 It will leave your system. You know other experiences will 343 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:47,120 happen in all just got yourself a little OK. 344 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:55,120 Wow, Maoko, our brothers and sisters from there, let me keep 345 00:21:55,120 --> 00:22:02,160 quiet. Dear Clear, please keep me 346 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,280 anonymous. I've been dating this guy for 347 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:09,760 close to a year now. He's really a nice guy I must 348 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,880 say, and he's been treating me good. 349 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,560 I'm not a really demanding girl in terms of money and other 350 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,800 stuff but anytime I ask for something from him he doesn't 351 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,600 have, he tries his possible best to get it for me. 352 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:30,160 Fast forward, I had a conversation with him on my 353 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,720 birthday regarding his intentions for the future 354 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,120 because I feel like I've been referring to our relationship as 355 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,840 a serious one but I don't really know what his plans are for us. 356 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,640 Mind you I'm a student in the university and I'm not really 357 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,400 thinking of marriage at this point, but I really wanted to 358 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,080 know if he's serious about me as I am about. 359 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:56,280 So when I asked him about his plans, what he said was by the 360 00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:01,120 next two years he hopes to be self-employed and have a baby. 361 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:06,440 When he said that I asked him who he thought about having the 362 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:12,160 baby with because if it was me he wouldn't have made that plan. 363 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,800 He knows by next three years I'll still be in school and I 364 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,800 can't be pregnant while in school and I never thought of 365 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,480 being someones baby Mama. He told me it's me he's hoping 366 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,640 to have the child with. I went ahead and asked for his 367 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,080 plans for marriage, but the answer he gave shook me. 368 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:33,040 He told me he has never thought of getting married. 369 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:38,080 All he wants to have is a baby and take care of him or her. 370 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,480 That's all. Because all marriages he has 371 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,240 witnessed didn't work out, from his parents to his ankles. 372 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,520 So he wasn't planning on also taking the step. 373 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,720 But maybe somewhere along the line he will change his mind. 374 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,280 Yeah, I really love this guy but I feel like I might end up 375 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,480 wasting my time and getting my heart broken. 376 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,240 Please help me, what should I do? 377 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:09,360 A star. A star. 378 00:24:19,470 --> 00:24:22,030 You see this thing puts you in a place. 379 00:24:22,030 --> 00:24:27,640 Where should I stay hoping that he will change his mind? 380 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,560 Ocean, your goals are not aligning. 381 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:41,040 My darling, your goals are not aligning. 382 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:44,360 You want to be married before you have children. 383 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:48,280 Your goals are not aligned. He has told you what he wants, 384 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,760 plain and clean. Don't assume that he will change 385 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:59,640 his mind. Yeah, I think that's all I'm 386 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:04,520 gonna say about it. Comment section should also come 387 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:10,240 in, please. That's why we that's why we. 388 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,520 DAKI would like to share a story of mine to get people's opinion. 389 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,480 I started dating this girl last year. 390 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,400 She was very calm, respectful and sometimes supportive. 391 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,320 Let's call her if. Yeah, my love for this girl was 392 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,840 like a copied assignment I can't explain. 393 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:33,120 She introduced me to her auntie and I also introduced her to my 394 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,720 mother. To cut the story short, since we 395 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:40,000 started dating, we have never argued until this day. 396 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,960 I was there one afternoon and someone called my line telling 397 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,400 me to stay away from his girlfriend. 398 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,480 I was shocked because I wasn't the type that liked following 399 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,080 girls around. I asked him of a passing and the 400 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,960 guy mentioned my girlfriends name so I confronted her when 401 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,400 she came back from work but she denied it. 402 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,880 The other day another number called me saying the same thing. 403 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:05,320 Right now I'm confused. Any time I ask her she denies 404 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,240 it. I checked her phone the last 405 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,000 time she visited and what's I saw really broke my heart. 406 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:15,120 When I asked her who the guy I saw the messages was, she told 407 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:20,160 me that they were just friends. I laughed and was confused at 408 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,000 the same time. Right now I don't know if I 409 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,120 should break up with her or not. Please help me because I can't 410 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,720 think straight right now to the best of my knowledge. 411 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,800 I think you need a pause from that relationship to see 412 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:41,640 clarity, to understand whether she's saying the truth or not. 413 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,200 Because she didn't give me explicitly what was in the 414 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,760 messages. Did she lie to you that the guys 415 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:52,600 that called no she didn't know them at all or she told you that 416 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,280 she was not dating them? If she told you that she was not 417 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,800 dating them or she didn't know them, then that can bring the 418 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,960 completion. Whether she actually lied to you 419 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,880 or not. I don't understand. 420 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,840 I don't, I don't think anybody will wake up and call somebody 421 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,640 and say stay away from my girl when the girl is not your girl. 422 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:16,440 I mean, I hope you understand me because it's crazy, right? 423 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,600 Yeah. Unless the girl has done 424 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,000 something to somebody and the person wants to really mafia. 425 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,560 Hey, like, because I don't get it. 426 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,080 That's all it. That's all it. 427 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,520 Good afternoon Kia. Please hide my identity. 428 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,440 If you're in a relationship with your girlfriend and you tell 429 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,840 her, marriage should be the last thing to talk about. 430 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,000 Does that mean you don't love her enough? 431 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:46,240 It means she has a plan that you may not know about and pay her 432 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,840 calculations. You don't take it serious, Yes. 433 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,240 So you need to ask your questions, why she feels like 434 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,600 you don't love her. And when you say marriage is the 435 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,000 last thing she needs to think about, you mean that you don't 436 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:06,080 want to get married or you don't think you are financially ready 437 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,680 or what? Like, why do you? 438 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,920 Why are you saying that marriage should be the last thing on her 439 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,400 mind? I mean, I think you don't. 440 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,200 You can't just say something ambiguous like that and leave 441 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,240 it. Inspect the personal to 442 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,840 overthink. Yeah. 443 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:23,680 So that's all of it. That's love it. 444 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,240 Dear Akia, I need your opinion. My boyfriend and I have been 445 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,880 dating for a little over a year now. 446 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:34,080 Before I travelled abroad we shared great moments, although 447 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,360 there was one real caring issue I often complain about. 448 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,320 He rarely calls me. Usually we only talk after work 449 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,400 if I don't call him the entire day. 450 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,400 When I do call, he often only calls back at night, which I 451 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,840 found frustrating. Sometimes he would improve for a 452 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,400 while but then revert to the old parting. 453 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,040 Recently I travelled overseas and he also lost his job. 454 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,760 Although he sometimes works from home, the time difference 455 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,560 between us makes it difficult for us to communicate, and now 456 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,600 communication is more challenging. 457 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:12,520 If I don't call him, he tends to only call at night, but if I 458 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,600 call him, he often tells me he'll call me back and doesn't 459 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:22,720 do so until the next day. When he does call, I might be 460 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,600 sleeping due to the time difference. 461 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,560 I've tried to communicate that this parting isn't helping our 462 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,400 relationship, but his behavior keeps repeating. 463 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,320 Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm disturbing him and I'm not 464 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,560 happy about it. What should I do in this 465 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:43,320 situation? At this point I feel like you're 466 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:48,240 dating yourself. I may be wrong, but the best 467 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,640 thing you can do is to keep telling him how you feel about 468 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,440 the situation. And if he's not listening, then 469 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,640 I'm sorry to tell you that I don't think he loves you enough 470 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,480 to want the relationship to work. 471 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,960 And so then you start looking at things differently. 472 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,680 You start looking at how you're going to, you know, be fine 473 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,040 because the booking hats did it would be coming very soon. 474 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,800 Do you understand? Yeah, thank you for watching the 475 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,360 episode. I'll see you in the next 476 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,280 episode. Don't forget to subscribe, like 477 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,000 and share. This is the POV. 478 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,040 My name is Manika. If I don't forget to go vote on 479 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:24,480 the Post Influenza Awards website, you search the awards, 480 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,080 you will support cast session and you vote for the POV 481 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,280 podcast. Thank you guys for nominating 482 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:30,520 me. I'm super excited. 483 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,280 The community is growing. Thank you so much. 484 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,560 Don't forget to subscribe. Bye.