When it comes to distant relationships, it wouldn't work
without communication. Run towards the opposite
direction. Because that *** those type of
*** they don't change. We're standing in the middle of
people in love, you see. I hope and pray you'll continue
to be busy for the rest of your life.
Isaac Malku, you're broking somebody's hearts, guys.
I have super exciting announcements to make.
So the POV podcast, the POV podcast has been nominated for
Paul. I'm super excited.
God has bought us far and we've been nominated as part of the
podcast influenza category. Yes.
So please go search, post influenza awards and then go to
the podcast site and vote for the POV.
I know that you know, it's for me that's big.
It means that we're making some impact and making some change,
you know, in the minds of people when it comes to connecting,
loving in all that. I'm so excited, which is the
nomination alone. I know that it's a big deal.
Just the nomination, it's a big deal.
That being said, please vote and thank you for nominating it
'cause I did not even know. I got surprised on Snap when
someone said your podcast has been nominated.
Do I remember? And then I had to go and check
and I was like, oh, my goodness. So yeah, it was Joanne.
It was Joanne that texted me. I woke up at 2:00 AM and I saw
it. I'm super excited.
That being said, now, talking about the fluid safe, a young
lady sent me a message that she was single and wants a healthy
relationship. And frankly speaking, when I was
doing it, I did not think it was going to would that Fasha.
But that video has as at the time I'm recording this episode,
92,000 views and 1000 plus comments with men I'm assuming
responsible because in the video I said that if you're not a
responsible man, don't come here, you know Ah God.
That being said young lady, I told you that being the comments
section you know or resend me a message so that I know is you
because of you young woman. My DM's are flooded thousands of
people. My comment section is flooded
thousands. Show yourself and start doing
some vetting and come and answer some questions like why do men
ghost you? Do you think there's something
wrong with you or you know something about you is causing
it or they're just jerks, you know?
Come and stop hiding yourself 'cause you have a lot of suitors
now you're looking for suitor. You have a suitor.
You're now running. Let me let me go into the
stories we have for this session 'cause I don't understand this
one. But if they posted it on social
media, if they posted it on social media, if they posted it
on social media, then they made it our business.
So since they made it our business, we go make it our
business. Let's get into the story that we
have for the episode. Dear Akia, please keep me
anonymous. There's this girl I've been seen
for some time now. I'm truly in love with this
girl, Ideally love her and have decided instead of going around
chasing different girls, why don't I stick with her so we can
build together. Oh, this is the continuation.
Ideally love her and I've decided instead of going around
chasing different girls, why don't I stick to her so that we
can build something together. She has shown me that she's also
ready to build something with me.
We spent time together, talk about life here and there.
In fact I don't have any friend so I took her as my everything
and told her everything. Even things I'm not supposed to
tell her, she does same too. There's nothing suspicious about
her. Fast forward before we start, I
asked her why she broke up with her ex and she said the guy
brought another woman to spend the night with him because she
doesn't spend the night with him.
So she caught them and they broke up.
However, to my surprise I found out she and her ex have been
chatting sending each other pictures.
Words which are not supposed to be shared were going on between
them. I confronted her and she started
crying. She told me yes she and the guy
have been talking for some time and she sometimes asks things
from the guy but they are not fucking.
I've been motionless for weeks now.
My heart is spinning me right now.
I'm in a dilemma. I don't know if she's telling me
the truth or not. I love this lady.
Please, what should I do? I don't want to play her too,
you see. So the last time I was saying
that if she ended up going back to the eggs, they live there
now. This, this, this, even this part
is beginning. Somebody that cheated on you so
you did not get over the guy and you moved on with someone else.
What were you trying to prove to use this one to to, to forget
about the other one. Was that what you were doing?
I my darling, you need to sit down and have.
I don't know how far you guys have gone now, if you guys are
booking up or not because I mean, I told you guys that
sometimes the stories backlog because there's a lot of
stories. But if you really are so with
this girl, sit her down and have an honest conversation with her.
It's either she's cutting off that ex and that's it's done
because according to her, we are we are believing that she did
not sleep with the guy. She has not slept with the guy
back. But even having that emotional
cheating thing with him itself is bad.
But let's just call that nostalgia.
Let's just call it that and have an honest conversation with her
that no, that must not go on. So you see that she's going
ahead with the ex or she's going ahead with you.
So she should just put one aside.
But I also find, you see, I'm very disappointed that she still
gave access to that guy after the guy cheating on her.
If you are not over somebody, this is to everybody, both male
and female. If you're not over your ex,
don't entertain anybody else because I feel like then you put
the other person in a particular position where the person falls
in love with you and then you 2 you are there still thinking
about someone else. It's not fair, Charlie.
Something that they, if they do to you, you're not going to be
happy. Don't do it to someone else.
Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.
If life works that way, I think Zanka a lot of things would give
me a problem. Do unto others what you want
others to do unto you. Charlie.
Dear Akia, please keep me anonymous.
I'm a 20 year old girl and I'm in a confused world right now.
I started dating at the age of 16.
My ex-boyfriend was a friend to my elderly sister.
He would come to our house, chat with my sister and play with me.
Also I found a friend in him and someone I could tell all my
worries to. At the age of 16 I was fully
grown with big bosom and backside, huge and curvy as
well. People are always refused as to
who the eldest is OK when they see me and my sister together.
Meanwhile I'm the youngest in the family.
This guy would talk to me about past experiences with girls and
his numerous sexual encounters. I was curious because I had
never been in a relationship before and also experienced any
sexual intimacy. I wanted to try it, but not with
him. Maybe with someone better.
Better because he was too skinny for me.
You could count his bones. He was 20 at that time.
This guy has eyes for me all along.
I had no idea until I was about to write my BC that he confessed
his feelings to me. I was disgusted by his proposal
and shook him off. I simply told him I was writing
my exams and wouldn't like to be distracted.
He's one guy that you might not like him at the initials, but
he's very jovial and fluent in English.
That's one thing I liked about him.
Not long after I finished my exams, he brought up the
proposal again. I got mad and wouldn't talk to
him because I didn't like him at all.
I spoke to my best friend to convince me to accept his
proposal, for which she did. She also told me about a past
relationship and the sexual pleasures it came with.
I got more confused thinking I was missing out on something.
Now my friend, she knew me better.
I was thinking she would protect me, but rather she was giving me
away. She knew I didn't like short
dresses and even fitted ones because of my figure.
I feared big men approaching me because they always mistook me
for a grown woman. Even with my haircut to the
lowest, my friend would always rebuke me for wearing long
dresses to the extent of that I didn't feel comfortable in them
anymore. She would come to my house in
the evenings and tell me to go for a straw with her, only to go
and meet up with my ex. They both convinced me and I
felt pressured and accepted the proposal.
Afterwards I went to see this guy alone.
He would kiss me and touch me till I'm aroused.
Sexually. I really felt good.
He knew the right places to touch.
I got enrolled into the secondary school and I still
kept in touch with him. Those days he would treat me
like a crane because he felt he won a lottery because many guys
wanted me. But he had me when I got to Form
2. During one vacation I lost my
dad, so my entire family went to the village to get started with
a funeral ceremony. They left me home because they
thought I was too young for that.
So I was home all by myself and this guy told me he wanted to
come and see me. I didn't hesitate because I knew
what was going to happen when he comes.
Surely he came and for the first time we had sex.
He broke my virginity that night.
I was happy though, not because he had sex to me but because I
have also experienced something called sex.
I was expecting him to treat me like how he used to but he
changed. Oh my God.
After that incident I never heard from him for about 3 days
until the next day he came to my house with a contraceptive pill
in his sweatpants. I took them and threw them away
and told him I was fine and he should go.
Deep down I was falling for him and couldn't stop myself from
loving him. I confessed my feelings to him
and it was my worst mistake. This guy would never call me or
text me at least to know how I'm doing.
He ignored me completely and anytime I complained about it he
will tell me that it won't take anything away from me if I also
checked up on him. I broke completely.
All I could think was of my mom. She was a full Christian woman
and she acted like a lioness. She would suck any guy who would
make advances towards me and she never liked this guy due to her
own reasons personally known to her.
I told my best friend about how he was treating me and all that,
but she said nothing. All she did was laugh about it
and from that day I felt used. She even threatened to tell my
mom, which I begged her not to. Three months later, this guy
texted me that he's sorry and all, that he's battling with his
own issues, that he has ADHD and he forgets easily.
He forgets who he thinks he is sometimes and that I should
forgive him. I give him.
I gave in and accepted him back and for the second time we had
sex in his house. Mind you, I'm a faithful
partner. I don't cheat until you tell me
it's over. He suddenly switched back to his
old self, forgetting that I ever exist.
This time around I told him I can't do this relationship thing
again and all he would say is you're free to go anytime you
want. I cried my eyes out.
Hey, I cried my eyes out and promised I would never do that
thing called relationship. Six months later a foreign
number texted me. It was a friend from my junior
high school I had liked. He had liked me all along when
we were in school but never gathered the courage to tell me
because he feared being rejected.
This guy sat next to me in class.
He was very good to me. He always ensured that I was OK
and lack nothing in school. I just wanted to keep it casual
but he insisted I'd be his girlfriend.
At that time I was still healing from my first breakup which I
never told him. He kept bringing it up any time
he called me until I gave in. I did because he was a distant
and he wouldn't be asking for sex.
We've been dating for two years now and during the first year
everything was smooth and sweet which I found myself falling in
love again. He treats me so well, he
respects me way more than I expected, he's still that sweet
boy I used to know in school. But the only problem is I'm five
months older than him. Now that I'm 20 and he's still
19, I don't like it. The fact that I'm older than my
boyfriend turns me off completely, but sometimes I
shake it off because he treats me better.
Suddenly everything changed. I wouldn't hear from him for
days, he always blamed it on being tired due to work.
I texted him for hours, he wouldn't reply.
I'm broken again because I'm not getting the attention I needed.
He claims to love me and he's not ready to lose me to any
other guy. Promises to marry me and take me
along with him outside the country which is my dream.
So he's always pleading with me to be patient with him.
My ex is back in the picture asking for forgiveness after
breaking up with me for two years.
He claims to be all changed and ready to make things right this
time. Right now I'm confused to
whether to accept my ex back or wait for my new guy or be with
my ex and later break his heart when my man returns.
But I can't bear the idea of cheating.
I love my boyfriend so much please don't judge me what do I
do? My situation is like I feel
entangled. I don't think he should
entertain your ex. Your ex is a jerk.
He's trash. Don't entertain him.
I think you need to focus on relationship with your man now.
Have the patience. Be consistent with communication
with him. Make him understand that when it
comes to distant relationships, it wouldn't work without
communication and him leaving you like that, knowing very well
that you want the attention disrupts the relationship.
So yes, you are being patient, but it doesn't mean that the
things that make you love being in that relationships, you that
particular relationship you won't get.
If you understand that for your ex, run towards the opposite
direction. Because that *** those type of
*** they don't change. They don't change, they don't
change. That's the thing, please help
her sister. I need the audience opinion.
Just wanted to make things clear so you don't misunderstand
anything. People in the comment section
keep asking me why do you have so much money?
You're only 20. Well I'm a nurse in Germany.
I live alone and I work hard, that's why I earn good money.
By the way, my boyfriend lives in Germany too, just like his
baby Mama. He only went to Ghana for two
months vacation. He's already back.
You remember that story where the lady said hey, baby daddy
takes money from here. No way bashing here for giving
the guy money And it sounds like it's suspicious that's the girls
respond. She came back to respond to the
comments. You know that you guys were
saying that she's being used and all pen.
No, no worry. No, no, it's not that.
She's trying to say that the guy is not that bad.
Jonathan, there you will stand in the middle of people in love.
You see? That's love it.
There it Yeah.
About mentioning people's names, I want to share my own.
Some months ago, IA guy deemed me from the blue app.
I realized he has been trying to get my attention for years, so I
decided to hear your mouth for once.
He came all out and told me how he saw me at a wedding somewhere
20/20/22. He described me from what I was
wearing and all. He said he wanted a relationship
that would lead to marriage. I was just coming from a broken
heart so I told him to give me some time.
This guy would call me in the morning and evening.
We vibed and all that. Some weeks after I decided to
give him a chance. He came with lots of promises.
I mean I cry and he's in dropping.
He was always giving me pressure to come and know where he lives.
One day he came to visit his parents at Tema, so I went to
meet him there and we went to his place together.
We got to jobbing around 11. PMA risk I took because I
thought he was serious about everything.
He said a lot. Pam.
I left there earlier than planned because According to
him, he needed to add to something at work.
This guy never called to ask where I've gotten to, even if
I'm safe. His attitude changed completely
after the visit. He didn't even give me a
password for TNT or even buy water for me.
But whatever I felt for him wasn't about money so I didn't
complain. When you call, he won't answer
and text messages take days to be replied.
It was. As if I was begging him for
attention, I just told him I was not going to be calling in
asking why he hasn't been calling, he said he was busy.
So I asked how come he's only busy.
Kim. He said he was busy.
So I asked how come he only became too busy to talk to me
after the visiting. He said he was going to change
and be a better person. That better person never came
through. Isaac Nemo.
Isaac Mahuku, I wasn't stupid to believe when I called you around
11:00 PM and you claimed to be in a prayer meeting.
Isaac Mahuku, I hope and pray you continue to be busy for the
rest of your life. Isaac Maoko, you're broking
somebody's hearts and they brought your kids to my, my, my,
my house. Isaac Maoko, why would you do
this? Good.
Oh, I don't even know how to defend people again.
What a helly my darling. I know Isaac Maoko has broken
your heart, but it is well OK. It will grow.
It will leave your system. You know other experiences will
happen in all just got yourself a little OK.
Wow, Maoko, our brothers and sisters from there, let me keep
quiet. Dear Clear, please keep me
anonymous. I've been dating this guy for
close to a year now. He's really a nice guy I must
say, and he's been treating me good.
I'm not a really demanding girl in terms of money and other
stuff but anytime I ask for something from him he doesn't
have, he tries his possible best to get it for me.
Fast forward, I had a conversation with him on my
birthday regarding his intentions for the future
because I feel like I've been referring to our relationship as
a serious one but I don't really know what his plans are for us.
Mind you I'm a student in the university and I'm not really
thinking of marriage at this point, but I really wanted to
know if he's serious about me as I am about.
So when I asked him about his plans, what he said was by the
next two years he hopes to be self-employed and have a baby.
When he said that I asked him who he thought about having the
baby with because if it was me he wouldn't have made that plan.
He knows by next three years I'll still be in school and I
can't be pregnant while in school and I never thought of
being someones baby Mama. He told me it's me he's hoping
to have the child with. I went ahead and asked for his
plans for marriage, but the answer he gave shook me.
He told me he has never thought of getting married.
All he wants to have is a baby and take care of him or her.
That's all. Because all marriages he has
witnessed didn't work out, from his parents to his ankles.
So he wasn't planning on also taking the step.
But maybe somewhere along the line he will change his mind.
Yeah, I really love this guy but I feel like I might end up
wasting my time and getting my heart broken.
Please help me, what should I do?
A star. A star.
You see this thing puts you in a place.
Where should I stay hoping that he will change his mind?
Ocean, your goals are not aligning.
My darling, your goals are not aligning.
You want to be married before you have children.
Your goals are not aligned. He has told you what he wants,
plain and clean. Don't assume that he will change
his mind. Yeah, I think that's all I'm
gonna say about it. Comment section should also come
in, please. That's why we that's why we.
DAKI would like to share a story of mine to get people's opinion.
I started dating this girl last year.
She was very calm, respectful and sometimes supportive.
Let's call her if. Yeah, my love for this girl was
like a copied assignment I can't explain.
She introduced me to her auntie and I also introduced her to my
mother. To cut the story short, since we
started dating, we have never argued until this day.
I was there one afternoon and someone called my line telling
me to stay away from his girlfriend.
I was shocked because I wasn't the type that liked following
girls around. I asked him of a passing and the
guy mentioned my girlfriends name so I confronted her when
she came back from work but she denied it.
The other day another number called me saying the same thing.
Right now I'm confused. Any time I ask her she denies
it. I checked her phone the last
time she visited and what's I saw really broke my heart.
When I asked her who the guy I saw the messages was, she told
me that they were just friends. I laughed and was confused at
the same time. Right now I don't know if I
should break up with her or not. Please help me because I can't
think straight right now to the best of my knowledge.
I think you need a pause from that relationship to see
clarity, to understand whether she's saying the truth or not.
Because she didn't give me explicitly what was in the
messages. Did she lie to you that the guys
that called no she didn't know them at all or she told you that
she was not dating them? If she told you that she was not
dating them or she didn't know them, then that can bring the
completion. Whether she actually lied to you
or not. I don't understand.
I don't, I don't think anybody will wake up and call somebody
and say stay away from my girl when the girl is not your girl.
I mean, I hope you understand me because it's crazy, right?
Yeah. Unless the girl has done
something to somebody and the person wants to really mafia.
Hey, like, because I don't get it.
That's all it. That's all it.
Good afternoon Kia. Please hide my identity.
If you're in a relationship with your girlfriend and you tell
her, marriage should be the last thing to talk about.
Does that mean you don't love her enough?
It means she has a plan that you may not know about and pay her
calculations. You don't take it serious, Yes.
So you need to ask your questions, why she feels like
you don't love her. And when you say marriage is the
last thing she needs to think about, you mean that you don't
want to get married or you don't think you are financially ready
or what? Like, why do you?
Why are you saying that marriage should be the last thing on her
mind? I mean, I think you don't.
You can't just say something ambiguous like that and leave
it. Inspect the personal to
overthink. Yeah.
So that's all of it. That's love it.
Dear Akia, I need your opinion. My boyfriend and I have been
dating for a little over a year now.
Before I travelled abroad we shared great moments, although
there was one real caring issue I often complain about.
He rarely calls me. Usually we only talk after work
if I don't call him the entire day.
When I do call, he often only calls back at night, which I
found frustrating. Sometimes he would improve for a
while but then revert to the old parting.
Recently I travelled overseas and he also lost his job.
Although he sometimes works from home, the time difference
between us makes it difficult for us to communicate, and now
communication is more challenging.
If I don't call him, he tends to only call at night, but if I
call him, he often tells me he'll call me back and doesn't
do so until the next day. When he does call, I might be
sleeping due to the time difference.
I've tried to communicate that this parting isn't helping our
relationship, but his behavior keeps repeating.
Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm disturbing him and I'm not
happy about it. What should I do in this
situation? At this point I feel like you're
dating yourself. I may be wrong, but the best
thing you can do is to keep telling him how you feel about
the situation. And if he's not listening, then
I'm sorry to tell you that I don't think he loves you enough
to want the relationship to work.
And so then you start looking at things differently.
You start looking at how you're going to, you know, be fine
because the booking hats did it would be coming very soon.
Do you understand? Yeah, thank you for watching the
episode. I'll see you in the next
episode. Don't forget to subscribe, like
and share. This is the POV.
My name is Manika. If I don't forget to go vote on
the Post Influenza Awards website, you search the awards,
you will support cast session and you vote for the POV
podcast. Thank you guys for nominating
me. I'm super excited.
The community is growing. Thank you so much.
Don't forget to subscribe. Bye.