1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,880 But sometimes it's the smallest sort of tweak or change or 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,800 product that can just make you so happy and alleviate some of 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,000 the stress that you may be feeling. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,320 Hi everyone. I'm Ronnie. 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,080 And I'm Jessica. And you're listening to Clean 6 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,600 with me. The podcast where we walk you 7 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:26,760 through cleaning your house. Thanks for joining us. 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:31,120 We have a special guest on today's episode and he's known 9 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,280 on Instagram as Tidy Dad. Well, thank you all for having 10 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,440 me. I love the title of your 11 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,880 podcast, Clean with Me because I feel like every day I sort of 12 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,920 invite watchers on Instagram to sort of come into my house. 13 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:47,400 We might I share a small apartment with my wife and three 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,600 daughters in New York via like time lapse that just can inspire 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,320 and motivate people. So by day, I'm a New York City 16 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,960 teacher. I teach 5th grade. 17 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,120 I teach at the same school where my daughters attend. 18 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,240 So I know full well the struggles that sometimes come 19 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,360 with working outside of the home and then also balancing 20 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,760 everything that has to happen inside the home. 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,600 And I also know full well what it's like to live with little 22 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,120 walking tornadoes. That's the little joke that I 23 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,240 call my daughters because it's almost like they're tornadoes. 24 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,080 You turn your back for one minute and then it seems like 25 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,040 everything is in a tizzy. But they certainly give me a lot 26 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,480 of things to clean. And then, as my daughters get 27 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,720 older, I'm also beginning to involve them in the process, 28 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,360 too. Right, I have daughters too, so 29 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,400 definitely can relate to that. Definitely tornadoes. 30 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:42,320 So how so you do live in New York City, so that you mentioned 31 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,640 there's probably a lot of storage things going on. 32 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,120 So how do you maximize storage in your apartment? 33 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,320 Yeah. So I feel like our apartment is 34 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,360 this constantly evolving sort of puzzle. 35 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,520 And years ago, you know, my wife and I, we really wrestled with, 36 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,560 is our apartment gonna be home for the long term? 37 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,440 Are we gonna make life in this small space work? 38 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,720 And so we've really had to think about how to maximize space 39 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,720 really for efficiency, but also for accessibility because we 40 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,400 have 3 little girls, we want them to have access to the 41 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,920 things that we want them to have access to and then also have the 42 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,240 other things that are up and away that they can't get their 43 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,040 little hands into. And so over the years, we've 44 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,600 really had to think strategically about what to do 45 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,840 in each of our spaces. We also share one small bathroom 46 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,320 for the five of us. So for many listeners, they may 47 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:41,760 be able to either identify with or they may scream and say, are 48 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,440 you kidding me? It's five people sharing that 49 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,200 one bathroom. You know, So we've really had to 50 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,000 think one about decluttering it. You know, it's constantly sort 51 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,960 of evaluating what comes in, what goes out. 52 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,280 Because I do feel like when you're thinking about any sort 53 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:02,400 of mess, you cannot clean if things don't have a home or if 54 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,040 you feel like you're just staring at piles of clutter. 55 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,680 And often times when people ask me about cleaning, they're like, 56 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,600 what are the tips for being efficient? 57 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,320 You know, how can I feel like I'm not spending these hours and 58 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,480 hours cleaning? And I do feel like it goes back 59 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,880 to that initial point that you made. 60 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:24,040 It goes back to organizing, when everything has a place, when 61 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,280 you're able to tidy and put things away, that then makes 62 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:32,240 cleaning so much more efficient. And so in my book, Tidy Up Your 63 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,040 Life, I have a whole chapter on the order of things, which 64 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:40,760 really breaks down the relationship between organizing 65 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,240 and tidying and cleaning. Because I often find that if 66 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,920 cleaning feels like this overwhelming headache, often 67 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:54,080 times the root cause of that can be in the clutter that may be 68 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,760 sitting around, or in the routines that are in place for 69 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,400 putting things back after they've been used. 70 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,200 Right. Yeah, I, I'm coming from a very 71 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,920 small apartment with one bathroom and moved into a bigger 72 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,880 duplex. But I had to, I wasn't as 73 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,120 creative with organization and stuff. 74 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,600 And we really just downsized and went down to the bare bones. 75 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,040 So I really wish I would have looked into more storage spaces 76 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,440 and stuff like that because I want people to know that, like 77 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,360 you, you don't have to just go down to bare bones and just 78 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:32,720 completely be a minimalist to exist in that kind of space. 79 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,400 Yeah. And I think that that's a really 80 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,160 important point that I try to also talk about in Chapter 2 of 81 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,040 the book, which is about establishing this idea of what 82 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,560 is just enough that for many people, minimalism can be 83 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,760 something that's like inspirational or motivational 84 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,000 for them. But as a parent with three young 85 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:57,160 kids, I felt like that pursuit of the bare minimum, it actually 86 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,960 felt very defeating because there's nothing like birthdays 87 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,160 or the change of a new season or holiday times to come. 88 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,520 And you realize that there's always going to be this cycle of 89 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,800 new things coming in and then things going out. 90 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:16,600 And so we've tried to establish this philosophy of what is just 91 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,600 enough. And it's that idea of being able 92 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:23,320 to name is just enough in any given particular category for 93 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,000 this season of life. And so for right now, you know, 94 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,360 we have allocated space for dress up clothes in the 95 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,880 bathroom. We have the little, you know, 96 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,360 makeup kits. And they love their little like, 97 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,720 fake nail press ONS that I was cleaning the bathtub yesterday 98 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:44,480 and I found a nail in the bottom of the bathtub after my youngest 99 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,840 daughter had just taken a bath. And I'm like, who is washing 100 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:51,200 themselves with those fake nails on, You know? 101 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,720 So right now we're in this really busy sort of hectic 102 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,480 season. But I do feel like the things 103 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,480 that I am in control of or like my own wardrobe, my own things 104 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,640 that I bring in and out, like I can pare down quite a bit of my 105 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,320 own sort of material possessions in the real estate that I take 106 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,280 up in our home. And that's in service of these 107 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,960 little girls who are growing and changing and need many different 108 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,760 things in this current season. And so I do feel like that's an 109 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,920 interesting point that you bring up because it's not just about 110 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,960 sometimes editing, editing, editing down to the bare, you 111 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,000 know, minimum. As parents, we all have enough 112 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,920 to deal with. You know, we can't go through 113 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,760 just this idea of editing, editing, editing all the time. 114 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,160 But there is this way that we can sort of rethink our 115 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,000 approach. And I do feel like establishing 116 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,200 if it's just enough mindset can help. 117 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,320 I really like that that just enough. 118 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,240 That's that's exactly how my I feel about it too, because 119 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:54,920 getting rid of stuff is still important for living in any size 120 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,800 house, but you still don't want to get rid of things that you 121 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,760 use day-to-day and stuff that brings you joy. 122 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,960 But the just enough is perfect. I love that. 123 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:08,800 Yeah, it's definitely a balanced approach and I've, I've always 124 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,760 found it challenging. I've lived in a lot of different 125 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:16,720 houses and with the smaller ones, the storage is always an 126 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,760 issue with kids. And I'm not an extreme 127 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,880 minimalist either. I, I like that on, on your 128 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,960 Instagram, I saw that your kids do have like their little 129 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:32,120 kitchen and little toys and so they've got all that stuff, but 130 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,560 you're just keeping it contained. 131 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,920 Basically and, and you know, in our apartment, so our apartment 132 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,800 was built in 1914. So that was before the time of 133 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,680 any sort of closets. And it's interesting because now 134 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,200 in most American homes, you can't actually count a bedroom. 135 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,720 It has to have a couple things that needs to have a window and 136 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,200 it needs to have a built in closet. 137 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,400 Well, whoever built our apartment building, we do have 138 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,680 the windows, but we don't have any of the closets. 139 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,360 So we've had to really think strategically about what to do. 140 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,600 And so we've had to design and bring in different wardrobe 141 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,360 systems and really thinking about how to use the vertical 142 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,680 space in our, you know, we have really tall ceilings. 143 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,600 And so we have wardrobes that are over 100 inches tall, which 144 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,160 amounts to between like 8 to 9 feet. 145 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,400 And so we've had to think strategically about then how to 146 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,960 allocate real estate within those wardrobes. 147 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:32,080 And I think sometimes, you know, we see a space, it inherently 148 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,080 feels overwhelming because we don't feel like we have the 149 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,240 adequate closet space or we don't have the adequate cabinets 150 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,880 that are built in. And so I'd encourage people that 151 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:44,200 you really do have to think, you know, sort of flexibly about how 152 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,640 are you going to use the space? What are the different furniture 153 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,800 pieces that you can bring in? Because we've even found in New 154 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:54,440 York City that not all square footage is treated equally. 155 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,440 And you may have what you feel like is this 800,000 square foot 156 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,920 place, but the rooms are all really small or you feel like 157 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,160 the layout is just completely off. 158 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:08,120 I mean, in New York City, we're dealing with radiator poles and 159 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,880 windows that open into the shaft that we share with the next 160 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,880 building. And like the bedroom that my 161 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,360 wife and I share, we actually have the smallest bedroom in our 162 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,080 apartment. We've given the girls the larger 163 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,600 bedroom because they needed the square footage. 164 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,960 We didn't, but we're in a railroad style, which means that 165 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,600 you walk through every room is essentially a glorified hallway. 166 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,440 So like our bedroom, the bedroom that my wife and I share, it's 167 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,800 actually the hallway that leads from our playroom into our 168 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,880 daughter's room. And so it's important for 169 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,880 listeners to know because I think sometimes when you know 170 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,080 one, when you write a book, there are these assumptions 171 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,560 that, OK, here's another person who has this perfectly put 172 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,360 together life who isn't dealing with some of the limitations or 173 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,200 constraints that I might have. I'm here to let everybody know 174 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,960 that we are in the thick of it in terms of dealing with 175 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,000 logistical challenges, space issues. 176 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,080 We're constantly sort of evolving, but I do feel like the 177 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:09,560 puzzle is sort of fun. You know, it's fun to figure out 178 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,680 what can I do with this wardrobe? 179 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,520 What can I do with this tiny corner? 180 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,720 The girls are now taller. What can I do in order to 181 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,120 maximize a bit more vertical space? 182 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,040 So that puzzle, it's sort of fun. 183 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,800 And so as I'm cleaning, I'm always sort of thinking and 184 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,880 dreaming up how else we could use the space. 185 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,480 I love that I did. I noticed that in one of your 186 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,360 videos where you said your kids were growing so your your 187 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,560 storage spaces and stuff that they have access to are also 188 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,120 getting taller. Yeah. 189 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,280 And I I do completely agree with you, you got to work with what 190 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,760 you have because like you said, every house, every situation is 191 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,720 different and specific to the person. 192 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,920 And so often people are like, well, why don't you just move? 193 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,640 And I'm like, well, why don't you ask me a questions that 194 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,480 that's that's actually helpful? Because that question isn't very 195 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,720 helpful because like in New York City and in many places, we're 196 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,880 like, what are you going to do with that one bathroom? 197 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,320 Why don't you go get a second one? 198 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,560 And I'm like, OK, the price that I would have to pay for my 199 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:11,520 apartment would literally be double in order to get that 200 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,800 second bathroom. And then what would be the 201 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,720 actual cost to us as a family? How would that inherently 202 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,880 change, you know, hours at work, things that we're able to do, 203 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,880 adventures that we go on in order to have that second 204 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,920 bathroom when we can really just works, work on maximizing the 205 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:33,080 space and also just sort of ruthlessly editing at times in 206 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,560 order to make it work? I love that you constantly 207 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:40,040 evolve and change and every season of life is different as 208 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:44,520 your kids grow, as your stuff changes. 209 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,080 Like you said, you're constantly bringing stuff in and out with 210 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,800 birthdays and whatnot, so involving is a big key in 211 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,320 staying organized and decluttered. 212 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,800 I completely agree with you there. 213 00:11:54,640 --> 00:12:00,000 What are some must haves do you think in having a small space? 214 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,960 What are some things that you think you can't live without? 215 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,360 So I think in terms of small space, what I often say is that 216 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,880 inches, millimeters and centimeters really matter. 217 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:17,320 So before we ever go to the store, before we go to the 218 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,720 online shopping, before we go to Amazon, we always pull out our 219 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,520 tape measure because, for example, even our bathroom 220 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,880 cabinet over the summer, we've been trying to get our landlord 221 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:32,040 for the past 10 years to give us a new vanity. 222 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,240 And what made it work was last spring, I had a huge sort of 223 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:40,520 cleaning disaster because. And I think that listeners can 224 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,520 relate to this. It was we were about to leave 225 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,760 for school. You know, the toilet became 226 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,680 clogged. My daughter's didn't know what 227 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,200 to do. It then started to overflow. 228 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,800 It overflowed and it started to leak into our downstairs 229 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:57,440 neighbors bathroom. They called me all really mad 230 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,720 and upset. So I took down my wet dry vac, 231 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,480 which is one of my number one why I didn't have one from the 232 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,360 start. And I know that the technology 233 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,120 is just getting better and better and better. 234 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,920 But I took that wet dry vac downstairs and I cleaned their 235 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,960 bathroom for them and then I called my landlord and I was 236 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,280 like, we've really got to do something about this floor. 237 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,240 So over the summer they put down a brand new tile floor and they 238 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,880 also brought in a brand new vanity. 239 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,120 And when I tell you on each side of the vanity, they added 6 240 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:32,440 inches of storage space, which gave us a foot more storage 241 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,960 space underneath the sink with just transformed everything. 242 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:41,080 So we were able to bring in those like clear acrylic drawers 243 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:45,120 because drawers in a small space are like a precious commodity. 244 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,280 So we were able to stack them on top of one another. 245 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,080 Everybody has a drawer for the different things that they need. 246 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,920 We have a drawer also for some back stock items. 247 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:58,000 But when you're in a small space, you have to be strategic 248 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,440 about any sort of organization piece that you bring in and you 249 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,760 better measure because those inches, millimeters, those 250 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:09,000 centimeters really count. And so I do feel like, you know, 251 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,520 often times, whether you live in a small space or a large space, 252 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,200 you see a mess or you see clutter in your house. 253 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,120 And the first thing that you want to go and do is go and buy 254 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,520 that brand new thing that you think is going to solve all of 255 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,760 your problems. But actually what solves the 256 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,480 problem is sitting with the mess in the 1st place. 257 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,400 And I outline it in my book, you know, a process for 258 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,160 decluttering, which is this idea of you've got to clear the 259 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,200 space. You then need to sort 260 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,520 everything. You then need to assess what you 261 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,760 have and then make a plan for what you're going to keep and 262 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,720 what you move out. And so often people start with 263 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,400 purchasing that new item before they have cleared anything, 264 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,440 thinking that that's going to solve a problem. 265 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,080 And then it actually creates more problems because now they 266 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,200 have that item that they purchased that doesn't actually 267 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,200 solve the problem. And then it's this like 268 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,480 perpetual cycle. That's a really important point, 269 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,120 is that I love that there's an order of operations to things. 270 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,200 Yeah. Yeah. 271 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,280 Yeah, you don't want to add to the clutter with another piece 272 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,880 of furniture without going through the stuff first. 273 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,280 That's very important. Now I. 274 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:18,560 Wanted to ask you so you are a man that has a huge cleaning 275 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,920 influence influencer account. I want to know how did that get 276 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:27,600 started and what kind of what you're all about. 277 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:33,440 Yeah, so as Tidy Dad, I started sharing back in 2019. 278 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,880 And my goal with sharing was actually because I'm a teacher 279 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,960 by day, but I thought that I was going to teach in our 280 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,800 neighborhood in New York City, like classes for parents and 281 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,000 kids on how do you organize and how do you clean? 282 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,480 And so I launched my Instagram as a way to promo those events. 283 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,800 I secured the space, I got all of my props. 284 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,680 And then I went to the space and I had like two people show up. 285 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:03,880 But then I went and looked back at my post and I was like, hey, 286 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:08,200 15 people liked that. So there's that's 13 more people 287 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,920 that saw the post than the people who actually came. 288 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,600 And so I thought maybe there's something to, especially for 289 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,280 busy families and parents and individuals or professionals, 290 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,280 like maybe there is something to just sharing some of these tips 291 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:26,320 online. And so I started mainly just 292 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,880 sharing, organizing and tidying things, you know, strategies 293 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,920 that worked in our space. But then I started to get 294 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,880 questions about what do you do with this around the house? 295 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,600 How do you clean this? And it really started to develop 296 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:43,040 based off of people's questions. And so, you know, I was a dad 297 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:47,040 with, at the time, two young kids, and I decided that I was 298 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,440 going to stop the marathon cleaning on Saturdays. 299 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,800 That was my background before I had kids. 300 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,040 I used to look forward to that marathon clean on Saturdays 301 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,840 because it was the way for me to like, process the stress of the 302 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,200 week. It felt really good to work from 303 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,400 one room to the next. But then I realized that once 304 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,440 you have kids, if you can do anything for a sustained period 305 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,520 of time, why in the world are you going to choose to clean 306 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,200 your house? And it's The Walking tornadoes 307 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,200 analogy. Like if I was cleaning for two 308 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,119 hours, that meant either my wife was watching the girls or they 309 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,920 were making messes all around me. 310 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:26,040 So I took that cleaning, that marathon clean, and I thought, 311 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,240 what might it look like to clean one area of the house each 312 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,680 weekday? So I thought, let's clean the 313 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,280 bathroom on Monday, the kitchen on Tuesday, the living room on 314 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,360 Wednesday, the bedrooms on Thursday, and then our play room 315 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,360 on Friday, and will that make a difference? 316 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,960 And then I thought, what if I set a timer and I set a timer 317 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,200 for like 15 to 20 minutes? Am I able to race against the 318 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:55,800 clock and really make my methods and my process as efficient as 319 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,120 possible? And so that's when Tidy Dad 320 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,520 really started to take off because I think people resonated 321 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:07,360 with, you know, be it a dad or a mom, like I'm a working parent. 322 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,320 We have all of these kids at home. 323 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,840 I'm balancing career with home life with trying to feel like a 324 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,280 human. And I do think that people can 325 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:22,120 relate to realistic, practical strategies and just naming for 326 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:25,400 them, you know, some of the struggles that I go through as a 327 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,480 teacher and just being able to speak from that vulnerable 328 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,920 place, I think it helped people to almost see themselves 329 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:37,040 reflected in what they saw on the screen. 330 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,920 And so that's when I really saw Tidy Dad start to take off 331 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:46,720 because I think that, you know, now it's 2024, it's been almost 332 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,000 six years, you know, since I started. 333 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,640 And I think that people really just want authenticity and 334 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,200 vulnerability, but also feel like they see people who are in 335 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,920 the thick of it that are in the struggle too. 336 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,320 And, you know, I'm someone that experience is sort of the highs 337 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,520 and lows of parenthood and work. I experienced my fair share of 338 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:14,440 messes, but I'm also somebody who really enjoys a solid rage 339 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:19,000 clean or, you know, just says in the morning, like on Monday 340 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,040 morning, there's nothing like working through the struggles 341 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:26,240 that I know about to go through by just scrubbing the bathtub or 342 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,280 cleaning the toilet. And it's nice to step away 343 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,880 knowing that if I've done, if I accomplished nothing else that 344 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,800 day, at least my toilet bowl was clean for a short period of 345 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,360 time. And then I'll clean it again the 346 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:41,720 next week. Yeah, I, I, I think that the 347 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:45,320 draw, the thing that draws the men on you is that you're a man 348 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,880 in the, in this space that there's not a lot of big 349 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:53,120 influencers that have a cleaning platform and then they stay 350 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:56,080 because of your relatability and how helpful you are. 351 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,960 And sometimes it like, like you said, the timing thing, I mean, 352 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,880 that's a big one with me, the timing, your cleans and stuff 353 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,320 like that. And I'm sure that you've helped 354 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,920 so many people. With your with your videos, 355 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:13,680 because cleaning is a big issue for a lot of people and if you 356 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,520 don't have a plan and you don't have a good routine and stuff, 357 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,080 it really can affect your day-to-day, your mental health 358 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,400 and everything like that. So. 359 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,120 Yeah, I totally agree. And it's what I've enjoyed about 360 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,320 writing the book was because so often people were like, where 361 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,280 can I go for all of the different tips that you 362 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,400 mentioned? And now it's like, well, here is 363 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,000 a resource. Now your children or the people 364 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,560 you live with are going to come up with lots of different 365 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,240 messes. There are all of these 366 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,000 calamities of, you know, issues that people go through. 367 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,840 But that was one of the fun things about the book. 368 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,840 The second-half of the book, tidy up your space. 369 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:54,720 We work room by room, and so I outline The Dirty dozen of each 370 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,360 space because The Dirty dozen that you experience in your 371 00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,040 bedroom is a little bit different than The Dirty dozen 372 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,360 you might experience in the kitchen or in the bathroom. 373 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:08,200 But one of the things that I love is just telling people like 374 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,200 these are the things that you really need to care about in 375 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,840 each of your spaces. And the kitchen, for example, 376 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,160 people are like, but I don't think my kitchen sink is that 377 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,400 dirty. Like that's where I always wash 378 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,000 the dishes. And it's like if you do research 379 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,560 or if you talk to the scientist, they will tell you that that 380 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:31,080 kitchen sink is one of the dirtiest places in your kitchen 381 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,760 when people are like, so do I really need to move my stove, 382 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,720 you know, and like clean underneath? 383 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,360 And I'm like, absolutely. Have you noticed a little gaps 384 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:44,480 that are between the counter and do you know the stove? 385 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,240 And so that's what's fun is because I feel like, you know, 386 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:52,120 people just need to be shown or told what to do and then people 387 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,320 will sort of like try it out and do it. 388 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:59,000 Even something like checking your filters that like knowing 389 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,840 how the appliances in your homework is so important. 390 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,160 Even you know, because we also have a cottage in Pennsylvania. 391 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,040 So we have our apartment in New York City. 392 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,480 We own our cottage. We run it out as an Airbnb. 393 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,200 So we have lots of different people coming in and out of our 394 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,680 space. For years, my wife and I were 395 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,160 the primary cleaners. So that's where some of my 396 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:24,240 cleaning expertise comes from because when you manage whole 397 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,960 house flips after, you know, renters and all of them coming 398 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:33,000 into the space and all of the stains and spills and again, 399 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,200 fake eyelashes, fake fingernails, dog food that you 400 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,360 find even when it's a dog free rental, you know, you have to 401 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,440 figure out what do you do in order to get the different 402 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,480 stains out. And so I do feel like that 403 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:50,800 expertise and I'll bring with me to the book because it's so 404 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,880 important to know what to do, especially when things go wrong. 405 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,360 You would definitely have a really unique perspective and 406 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,560 you have insight that most people maybe don't have because 407 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,000 of the Airbnb. And that's really interesting to 408 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,280 think about because you're not even just thinking about your 409 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,360 specific families, cleaning issues. 410 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,400 You have everybody's pretty much. 411 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,520 Yeah. And it's like I learned the 412 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,840 power, as you all probably know of like dish soap, cold water 413 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:25,960 and a brush to get out almost any stain between chocolate or 414 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,320 blood or even sometimes like grass. 415 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,840 And like, it's just been interesting to sort of treat the 416 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,960 house like an experiment. It's sort of like my laboratory. 417 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,680 And it's like, what can I use in order to get the things out? 418 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,560 But I do feel proud of myself. And I think that it's something 419 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,920 that, you know, people can learn to do because one of the things 420 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,880 that I talked about in the book, and we touched on this a little 421 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,240 bit earlier, it's this idea of a man cleaning, you know, in 422 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,040 2024-2025 still stops people in their tracks. 423 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,120 And I get questions all the time about from followers who are 424 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,440 like, why are you the one cleaning? 425 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,520 Why isn't your wife cleaning? And I'm like, first of all, do 426 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:11,440 you not understand how much work goes into raising 3 little 427 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,840 children, managing a home, both of us managing our careers? 428 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:20,120 Like, why people are still asking that question to me is 429 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,680 just sort of shocking but also revealing because I think that a 430 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,360 lot of times the pressure gets placed on women for the 431 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:33,000 aesthetics of a home, managing our home, You know, there are so 432 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,280 many societal norms. And as a dad of three daughters, 433 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,040 I'm really proud of the fact that when there's a mess, they 434 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,480 ask me what to do to clean it up. 435 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,920 Or in the mornings when they discover me, they find me. 436 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:51,160 Like, scrubbing out the toilet like that is something that they 437 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,240 can go into their future. You know, when someone says, 438 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,560 hey, you need to clean that toilet, they can then say in 439 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:03,640 return, what's stopping you? You know, So I am mindful of 440 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,200 that. And it's one of the things that 441 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,160 we write, I write about in the book, this idea of distributing 442 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:13,000 work and how we manage sort of like the mental load that we all 443 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,760 carry. And I do think that it's 444 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,920 important to talk with the people that you live with, you 445 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,240 know, about how are you going to balance roles and 446 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,920 responsibility? Is there somebody that really 447 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,080 just enjoys cleaning and somebody else who finds it a 448 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,640 complete chore? But also, if no one in your 449 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,760 house enjoys cleaning, that doesn't mean that you just can't 450 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,880 live in a clean space. Like you've got to figure out 451 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,720 the mechanics of how do you clean? 452 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,520 When are you going to clean? Who's going to clean? 453 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,480 Having those conversations is so important. 454 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,520 Yeah, and I think that's why it's you're so important as an 455 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,600 individual because people have something to look at that's not 456 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,320 the societal norm even in today's day and age. 457 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,840 Like you said that people don't see that a whole lot. 458 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,080 And it's important that people know that from from just 459 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,400 watching your videos. They'll gather that, you know, 460 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,200 everybody needs to contribute to the household and it's not 461 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,240 always black and white. Yeah, totally. 462 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,920 It depends on what's going on in your specific household and 463 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:18,520 situation for sure. Yeah, people often assume that 464 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,840 we do all the cleaning at our houses just because we have a 465 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:26,480 cleaning podcast. But Jessica knows this as my 466 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,360 daughter. My husband does a lot of 467 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:33,320 cleaning, too, and it's a ton of work, especially the larger your 468 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,360 family is. I've got three kids still living 469 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:41,880 at home, so the five of us all have different tasks and it is 470 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:47,160 partly based on who enjoys what. I definitely try to, you know, 471 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,360 distribute that, you know, distribute the OR divide the 472 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,080 chores that way. Yeah. 473 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,400 And you know, one of the questions I get from parents 474 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:59,120 with kids is they're like, well, what if my child is resistant to 475 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,160 it? Or like, what if, what if 476 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,960 someone doesn't want to help out with the tidying or the 477 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,840 cleaning? And I think that Frank 478 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,320 conversation that we've had to have with our daughters is 479 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,680 really this idea of like family and how do we want to spend 480 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:15,760 time. And, you know, on the weekends, 481 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,760 we live in New York City, one of the greatest cities in the 482 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,120 world, and we want to get out and enjoy and do things. 483 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,680 When we're at our place in Pennsylvania, we want to be able 484 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,760 to go swim and hike and spend time outdoors in nature. 485 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:33,480 And so we've really had to talk about how do we work effectively 486 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,040 as a family? How do we all contribute in ways 487 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:42,200 and that, you know, fair isn't always equal because we've had 488 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:43,600 to talk about that with my girls. 489 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,040 My oldest is 9, my youngest is 4. 490 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,760 And like what we ask of my 4 year old does look very 491 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:54,120 different from my 9 year old. And I had an A question on 492 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,520 Instagram last spring. You know, I was disinfecting the 493 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,400 girls baby dolls because those baby dolls go with us 494 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,360 everywhere. And I was cleaning and someone 495 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,560 was like, why are you still doing that? 496 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,200 Why are your daughters not cleaning? 497 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,720 And I'm like, you know, there are certain things that I still 498 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,480 don't want my daughters to handle when we're talking about 499 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:13,960 cleaning. There are lots of different 500 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,680 products. There are different things that 501 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,040 they use. You know, wiping down the table 502 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,360 is something that I feel is age appropriate, you know, but I'm 503 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:26,440 not giving them just full reign of my whole, you know, sort of 504 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,280 stock of cleaners. But yet them being able to tidy 505 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,440 their baby dolls, them being able to sort their laundry and 506 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,120 then fold it and put it away. Them knowing when I walk in from 507 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:39,680 school, I put my shoes in the shoe tray. 508 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,240 I hang up my backpack. I put my fold. 509 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,560 I, you know, I pull out from my folder important papers that I 510 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,840 need mom and dad to have. I put them on the table. 511 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,120 All of those are different examples of tabs, tasks that 512 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:55,480 really do help us achieve our overall goal as a family, which 513 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,360 is like creating more space for what's important. 514 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:04,320 And I love cleaning, but when we're ranking like values in our 515 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:09,320 life, we wouldn't put cleaning over time with others 516 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,240 experiencing new things, feeling like we have time to be a human. 517 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,440 You know, cleaning is a necessity, but we need to be 518 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,520 able to work together in order to make space for those other 519 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:21,920 things that are really important. 520 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,600 Yeah. And I like you said, I think 521 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,240 that just as important as giving them little tasks and stuff like 522 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,120 that is your attitude towards cleaning. 523 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,400 It really impacts them and frames what they're going to 524 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,360 believe about cleaning and how they think about it for the rest 525 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,080 of their lives. Like my mom was saying about my 526 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:44,120 dad, my husband is somebody that's very into cleaning as 527 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,720 well. And that's probably because. 528 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:52,800 So yeah, I think that showing your kids that it's not a dirty 529 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,600 word, cleaning isn't a dirty word or whatever, that it's not 530 00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:00,680 always and it's very, very needed and necessary and it's 531 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:04,120 just a part of life and it could be a positive part of life is 532 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,960 important, too, for them to be good cleaners. 533 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:08,800 Yeah. And I do feel like, you know, 534 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,520 talking about your dad and also your husband that like, it isn't 535 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,760 just that they may necessarily love cleaning, but there may be 536 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:21,360 other values, you know, values around space and time and 537 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,600 appreciation. Like, all of those are values 538 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:30,080 that are beneath this idea of recognizing, you know, what 539 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,880 cleaning gives you. And I feel like, you know, we 540 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,840 see it so often. There's this pervasive sort of 541 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:41,160 like culture where spouses are made fun of, of like, yeah, 542 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,080 there goes my husband again. Like, you should see his side of 543 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,040 the bed. Stuff is just out everywhere. 544 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,360 But look at my side of the bed. It's pristine. 545 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:53,480 And I do feel like some of those stereotypes and also the jokes 546 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:57,240 that can be made are actually really, there's something much 547 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,960 deeper there, which is this fundamental. 548 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,320 Sometimes this either like I don't know if it's disrespect, 549 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:08,040 but just this not showing care for others that I do feel like 550 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,040 is so very important. So I can see why you would look 551 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,440 for that quality and you know of a spouse in your husband because 552 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,960 it goes back to both your mom and dad and values that they 553 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,280 showed you growing up because you're busy, you have interest, 554 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,280 you have hobbies. But it shouldn't just be on you 555 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,880 to clean everything. And it's not your job to clean 556 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,560 up after someone who is fully capable of being able to clean 557 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,960 up after themselves. Right. 558 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,720 That's an important value. And like you said, I'm sure it 559 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,200 had an impact on many other things besides just my attitude 560 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:47,520 on cleaning. And the same thing for the 561 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,960 future generations. Our kids, we want to show them 562 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:55,200 that if something's not working, we need to just evolve the 563 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,920 system like you said. And I think that's why I love 564 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:03,040 your book and really relate to it because the step by step is 565 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,480 definitely what our podcast is all about. 566 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:12,240 And just talking about these ideas as well as just actual 567 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,160 cleaning hacks as well is. Yeah. 568 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,480 And, you know, tidying to me, you know, there are the two 569 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,080 parts. There's the like, tidying up 570 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,160 your mind and also tidying up your space. 571 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,640 And I do feel like, you know, we were talking about those seasons 572 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,960 of life where you really sort of enjoy cleaning. 573 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:34,640 And part of my own story is I had a, you know, I had my issues 574 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:38,040 with mental health and especially when I became, you 575 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,920 know, a new dad that there were all of I write in the book about 576 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,880 how my head and my heart was rewired in ways that I couldn't 577 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:49,960 really have imagined. And as so often happens, you 578 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,960 know, I had upsized the size of my family. 579 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,720 I had also upsized my career. I had been a teacher for a long 580 00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,800 time. But then I felt pressure to move 581 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,480 into administration because that's where you earn more 582 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,120 money, you take on more positional power, which then 583 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,440 deems you as more successful to other people. 584 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:17,240 And so that really did 'cause this sort of like crisis for me 585 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,880 because I was like, on the one hand, I know that I want to 586 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,080 provide well for my family, but on the other hand, I feel like 587 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,480 all of these additional responsibilities are actually 588 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:30,000 taking time away from the people and the things that I really 589 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,640 want. And it's when something, and I 590 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,360 know that it sounds, it can sound silly, but there's 591 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,760 something like cleaning in the early morning time, which is 592 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:44,480 normally when I was cleaning, that would just give me a little 593 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,840 bit of clarity on life. And I feel like sometimes with 594 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,520 cleaning, you're able to exercise a little bit of 595 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,960 control. And we've all gotten into fights 596 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,120 with our grout or with some sort of like grease stain that's 597 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,800 underneath the hood of our stove. 598 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,200 But it's like in that fight, in that struggle, sometimes it can 599 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,560 reveal something else about ourselves or just give us a 600 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,440 little bit of mental space to just sort of process. 601 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,480 And so that's what I do feel like cleaning, you know, in 602 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,120 addition to other sort of like mental health strategies. 603 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,880 It has always given me sort of like a safe space. 604 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,000 And even now, you know, I've tidied up aspects of my life. 605 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,560 I've returned back to the classroom and teaching. 606 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,920 I feel like that then gave me more time and space for the 607 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:35,239 things that really matter. But I'm still in the thick of it 608 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,679 between parent teacher conferences or observation 609 00:34:38,679 --> 00:34:42,880 seasons or lessons that go wrong or just now dealing with like 610 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:47,120 babies are hard. But now older children in some 611 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,360 ways are even harder. The like mental puzzle of 612 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:55,360 figuring out what to do that often times if you know, I know 613 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,640 if I didn't have that early morning cleaning, I don't know 614 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,280 when I would have the alone time to like process and think. 615 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,880 And when I say alone time, I mean, I still set my alarm to go 616 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:10,000 off before my daughter's. So I'm up cleaning every day 617 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:15,480 between 4:45 and 5:00 AM. But I instinctively know I start 618 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,600 and brew that cup of coffee and then I have my little cleaning 619 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,240 checklist. I grab my supplies and I just 620 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:24,200 start working through. But I know that I have that 15 621 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,520 minutes to sort of ground and center myself. 622 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,240 And so I know for listeners that they may listen to your podcast, 623 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,280 they may listen to audio video books, they may just enjoy the 624 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:40,280 silence of the morning. But I do feel like cleaning can 625 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:44,160 give you that sort of like cathartic sort of break and also 626 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,680 exert a little bit of control on things as stubborn as grout. 627 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,360 Yeah, that's that's a really important point is because I 628 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:56,040 think a lot of times even in the podcast, I focus more on how the 629 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,480 the impact of having a clean house has on your mental health. 630 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:03,040 But actually using your cleaning time and your active cleaning 631 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,880 and also making it a time where you can reflect on yourself and 632 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,880 be alone with your thoughts and stuff like you said, and use 633 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,920 that as well will give you more of a positive look outlook on 634 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:14,960 cleaning. I love that. 635 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,360 And if you're cleaning against a timer, it's almost like an 636 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,360 aerobic workout. Yeah. 637 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,640 You know, that, Like, it is something that can act. 638 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,840 You know, I just feel like it has so many benefits, mental and 639 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:34,920 also physical that like, I don't know when people are like, are 640 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,840 you just a dad who's obsessed with cleaning? 641 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,520 I'm like, well, a little like I do want my daughter, you know, I 642 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,360 want my family to have a clean space. 643 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:46,720 But also, I don't know, I just feel like there are so many 644 00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:52,400 benefits to the actual act of cleaning just for your mental 645 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,080 health, your physical well-being, and so many aspects 646 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,080 of life. I love that. 647 00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,000 I hope that our listeners hear this and they know that they 648 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,800 really learn to love cleaning and fall in love with cleaning 649 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:08,760 and use it to help them, like you said, mentally and also 650 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,480 physically. And it'll just it. 651 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:17,040 It's good to keep up with it for a plethora of reasons, and I 652 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,400 think that'll be outlined in your book. 653 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,560 A lot of our listeners kind of struggle with the cleaning 654 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:26,280 duties in the kitchen, keeping up on dishes and things like 655 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,000 that. What are your best tips in the 656 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,080 kitchen? Yeah, well, Speaking of dishes, 657 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:36,080 you know, our apartment was built in 1914, so you're looking 658 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,200 at the dishwasher because it is me or my wife. 659 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:43,680 So every single dish has to be hand washed in our apartment. 660 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:49,600 So, you know, I've become very strategic about, you know, just 661 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:53,440 not allowing things to pile up. And I think that the the dishes 662 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,040 is like a metaphor for other things. 663 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,800 You know in your home that it's very easy, you know, after you 664 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,000 have finished breakfast to just put those dishes in the empty 665 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,440 sink and just allow things to pile up as they go throughout 666 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,040 your day. But then snack time will come, 667 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,240 lunchtime will come, then dinner, which comes with all of 668 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:17,360 the prep dishes, all of the actual serving dishes. 669 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:22,040 And so that's when you know, little bitty habits can actually 670 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,680 then lead to something that feels completely overwhelming. 671 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:30,480 So, you know, with dishes, you know, we've really had to think 672 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:34,120 strategically during the day about who's washing dishes, when 673 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,480 is it happening? But what we always try to do is 674 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,000 wash immediately after, you know, sort of the meal, which 675 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:44,240 then allows things to dry and then get put away in preparation 676 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:47,520 for the next meal to come. But also when you're thinking 677 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:52,160 about dinner, you know, this is going back to the timer analogy. 678 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,520 And I do think for some people, timers are really motivational. 679 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,200 For other people, it just may not work. 680 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:03,040 But when I'm cooking dinner, I also am sort of constantly sort 681 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:06,840 of like cooking and prepping while also cleaning at the same 682 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:11,880 time because my goal is to have all of the prep dishes washed 683 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,880 and dry so that while we're eating, once everything is 684 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,280 finished, we can then put the dishes away and then wash those 685 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,240 new things to come. And so again, I love that you 686 00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:26,320 brought up washing dishes because I do feel like that is 687 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,840 one of those routines that can have an impact on so many other 688 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,720 aspects of life. And if you can start to think 689 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:37,640 about like what does the dishwashing routine teach me? 690 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,800 How can I apply what I've just learned here to other things? 691 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,120 Like you can apply that to laundry and the pile of, of 692 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,480 laundry just piling up literally. 693 00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:50,800 Or maybe you're really good at washing and putting things into 694 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,640 the dryer. But then once the things are in 695 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,840 the dryer, they're just sitting there again, which then causes 696 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,320 this like backlog. Like we all have those things 697 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,200 that we're sort of like working on. 698 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:05,600 But I have become somewhat of a dishwashing expert because I 699 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,360 literally have to wash every single dish. 700 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,320 Definitely feel either. I'm in hand washing mode right 701 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,560 now myself so. But it's when. 702 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,280 It is kind of kind of cathartic I guess though. 703 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,320 But I don't know, you know, there's so many philosophies and 704 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,000 everybody has their favorite products. 705 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,760 But Speaking of dishwashing, like I just discovered that like 706 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:35,760 Cascade spray, that it's the spray dishwashing liquid that I 707 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,440 went to. You know, being in New York 708 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,480 City, I get invited to some cool places sometime and I went to 709 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,120 the Good Housekeeping Institute. You know, they give, they always 710 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,640 give their seals of approval. And so I got to walk through 711 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:50,880 with their resident cleaning expert and I, she sent me home 712 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,480 with that Cascade spray and wash stuff. 713 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:55,640 And I was like, I have seen this. 714 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,760 I don't know if I buy into the hype, but my goodness, I'm like, 715 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,840 I've been washed. I've been standing at this sink 716 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,480 and I've been washing dishes in this apartment for over 13 years 717 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,600 now. And so I've been using that even 718 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:10,360 as like the spray on the top of the stove sometimes on the 719 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,280 table, like after we've eaten spaghetti, I've just been 720 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,800 spraying it down. And it's such a simple sort of 721 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:21,080 like fix that again goes back to dishwashing, that sometimes it's 722 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:26,040 the smallest sort of tweak or change or product that can just 723 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,800 make you so happy and alleviate some of the stress that you may 724 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,040 be feeling. I'm like that too. 725 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,960 If I find like a new product, it makes me want to clean a lot 726 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,000 more because I'm like, oh, I want to use this new sponge I 727 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,480 got or whatever. Something else you mentioned 728 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,080 when you're talking about the dishwashing, and I think you had 729 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,720 a video on this on your Instagram or as you were talking 730 00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:49,640 about like anchor routines and I was, you were talking about 731 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:55,440 dishwashing being, being an anchor chore to making dinner. 732 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,920 And that I like I clean out my refrigerator every time I'm 733 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,880 about to get groceries. So that's my anchor chore too. 734 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:07,280 So I think it's important to have these anchor routines and 735 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,720 chores and stuff to kind of build good habits and routines. 736 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:12,680 So I love that you mention that. Yeah. 737 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,040 And I think that for listeners, because I'm sure that there are 738 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:19,400 some people who are listening because they aspire to clean or 739 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,480 they want to feel less overwhelmed. 740 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,600 And, you know, an analogy that I draw in the book is that 741 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,200 routines are like layers. Like if you've ever painted 742 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,480 furniture, this is an analogy that I use. 743 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:36,000 Like when painting furniture, it's really important that you 744 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,840 first, like, strip the furniture. 745 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,080 You know, you have to make the surface ready for paint, but you 746 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:46,360 can't just slop these, you know, really thick coats of paint that 747 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:51,920 you have to put on, light coats with ample time to dry before 748 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,360 you then sometimes sand again and then apply the next coat. 749 00:42:55,360 --> 00:43:00,200 And so for me, you know, those anchor routines, they are things 750 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:04,600 that I've gradually layered on, you know, over the course of 751 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:09,240 several years that you can't just go whole gung ho and say, 752 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,120 you know what, I'm going to start deep cleaning the house 753 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,080 every single Saturday. I'm going to do it. 754 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:15,920 I'm going to work from one room to the next. 755 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,840 If you do that, often times you're just setting yourself up 756 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,960 for failure that you have to identify like what is the entry 757 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,720 point? You know, is it that, you know 758 00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:29,280 what, I'm going to try just cleaning the bathroom every 759 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,600 Monday and that's it. I'm just going to experiment 760 00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,960 with that for right now and then see, could I begin to gradually 761 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:41,080 layer on whether it's the next day or some other related task? 762 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,440 And so I do think that, you know, for anyone who's 763 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,680 struggling or feels overwhelmed, it's like you have to figure out 764 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:52,760 what is your entry point and then gradually layer on those 765 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,480 new routines. And then like what you were 766 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,920 mentioning that idea of anchor routines, you know, when life 767 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:02,000 feels really chaotic or overwhelming, sometimes those 768 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,920 anchor routines are ones that you just hold onto that give you 769 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:10,320 a sense of like comfort or maybe a little bit of control that 770 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,800 just help you weather some of the wild, wacky storms. 771 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,440 And even for me, like in the intensity of the school year or 772 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,760 back to school season or even the holidays, it's like I'm 773 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:25,520 still up set my alarm to go off early to clean the bathroom on 774 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,400 Mondays because you know what? That gives me some sort of 775 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:33,160 semblance of, you know, peace and comfort even in the midst of 776 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,200 everything else sort of unfolding. 777 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,800 Yeah, and my kids too. I have one kid in particular. 778 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:44,640 My 6 year old is really and it really comforts her like you 779 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,480 said, not just me but for her having the anchor routines and 780 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:52,200 and things that are constant in her life. 781 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,000 The more routine. Even if kids don't necessarily 782 00:44:55,000 --> 00:45:00,080 like it, they do benefit from it and they secretly do like it 783 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,080 because I've had both kinds of kids. 784 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:06,320 I have two stepdaughters and the ones that aren't really type A, 785 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:11,280 they'd still really like it better and are happier when 786 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,880 there's a routine going on to kind of anchor them. 787 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,360 Yeah, And you mentioning that, you know, I get a lot of 788 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:22,400 questions with this book of like, is this book just for two 789 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,760 parent households or that must be great. 790 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,720 You know, it's you and your wife sort of navigating all of these 791 00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:31,680 things. But in my background, you know, 792 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,840 when I was in 8th grade, my parents divorced and I went from 793 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:41,720 one home now into two homes. And so I saw my parents go from, 794 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,160 you know, sharing responsibilities with us as a 795 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:48,640 family unit to now them taking on individual responsibilities. 796 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:52,120 I remembered what it was like to have to develop systems for 797 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:55,400 going back and forth between, you know, their homes. 798 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,200 I've also had followers who talk about, you know, when a spouse, 799 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,360 when a spouse passes away or they've just now taken on, you 800 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,560 know, the mental load of caring for an aging parent. 801 00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:10,480 And I talked about in the book, you know, when my mom, she had 802 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:14,960 to her, her dad was rapidly deteriorating in health. 803 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,000 And her mom came to her and said, you know, Janice, I think 804 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,600 you need to help us move out of this, out of our house into an 805 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,960 assisted living place. Like, we've got to do something. 806 00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:28,840 But my grandma was like, but, you know, you can't let my 807 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,960 grandpa know that all of this is unfolding. 808 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,640 Like, we have to just sort of tiptoe around this. 809 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:40,080 And you talk about a wild sort of situation to navigate. 810 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,160 And that's what I call these like Sir Thrival seasons where 811 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,560 you're simultaneously trying to survive. 812 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,840 You're also like trying to thrive at the same time. 813 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,160 And your capacity, you're like mental load of what you're 814 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,640 carrying just feels like you are maxed out. 815 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:01,720 And so I want listeners to know that like I am speaking from 816 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,400 these different perspectives because all of our families look 817 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:06,720 different. And even what you're talking 818 00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:10,080 about there, your 6 year old compared with, you know, your 819 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,840 two stepdaughters, that your two stepdaughters may be going back 820 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,400 and forth between different homes, different expectations, 821 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,640 different rules. But yet you still have to step 822 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:23,120 in and navigate what is this home going to look like? 823 00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,040 How are we going to come to some sort of agreement? 824 00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,880 How are you still, you know, going to share the 825 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:34,040 responsibilities? So I do think, you know, we all 826 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:38,000 have different seasons of life, we all have different things 827 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,840 that we're navigating. And there is a major difference 828 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,200 between sharing household responsibilities with two 829 00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:49,640 spouses or being a single parent trying to navigate all of the 830 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:53,360 work yourselves. And so there is the chapter 831 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:57,800 called Stop Doing All the Work, which it really outlines 3 832 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:01,560 approaches like you can share responsibilities, you can also 833 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,600 outsource responsibilities, or you can eliminate 834 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,440 responsibilities. And the joke that I sort of make 835 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,080 in the book is like as a kid when my parents divorced, I 836 00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:15,640 hated having to do yard work at both parents houses. 837 00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,920 Like I hated mowing 1 yard, but now I was suddenly responsible 838 00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:23,680 for mowing 2 yards. So when I became an adult, what 839 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,520 did I do? I moved to the largest city in 840 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:29,200 the United States, and now I don't have to worry about yard 841 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,400 work. You know, Central Park is our 842 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,640 yard. So that's just one sort of 843 00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:35,960 example. My sister, she's not married. 844 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,680 She's happily single. You know, she's happily as an 845 00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:41,440 aunt. And people keep asking her, 846 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,800 like, when are you going to buy a house? 847 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:43,640 When are you going to buy a house? 848 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:44,600 When are you going to buy a house? 849 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:48,880 And she's like, you know what, I have to travel 2 weeks a month 850 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:51,880 for work. I don't have time to deal with 851 00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,520 the house right now. I don't want the yard work. 852 00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,480 I don't want the square footage. And when something goes wrong in 853 00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,480 my kitchen, I really like being able to call the Super. 854 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,560 So she's sort of like, would you please just layoff me in this 855 00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,400 season? I don't want a house. 856 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,920 And so I do feel like with Tidy Up Your Life, I'm also trying to 857 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:14,680 give people that freedom to say, you know what, for this season 858 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:18,920 of life, this is what is work working for me and that is OK. 859 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:23,360 I love that that really makes it just for everybody because like 860 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:29,480 you said, there's so many unique situations and you pretty much 861 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:34,400 give your perspective on how to navigate all of it based on your 862 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:38,320 specific life and needs. So I think they'll really like 863 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,120 that for sure. Yeah, Yeah. 864 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,240 It sounds like the book is for everybody. 865 00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:45,920 We do have listeners who are single parents. 866 00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:49,960 And I like how you talked about the different seasons because 867 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,800 some of our listeners are responsible for the lion's share 868 00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,200 of the housework. And I've definitely gone through 869 00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,200 a season like that where my husband was working outside in 870 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:04,640 the heat, long hours. And so I wasn't expecting him to 871 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:09,720 do anything at home, whereas now he's, you know, in a supervisory 872 00:50:09,720 --> 00:50:12,520 role and, you know, he's indoors more. 873 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:16,080 So he's he's more involved in the housework during this 874 00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,040 season. So some people can, you know, 875 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,480 solve the cleaning issues by delegating it. 876 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,240 But some people have to do it all on their own. 877 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,400 You know, it's just the way it is sometimes. 878 00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:30,320 And if you do have to do it on your own, that's when thinking 879 00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:33,240 about, as we mentioned, you know, at the start of this, 880 00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:36,360 really thinking about the connection between organizing 881 00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,280 and tidying and cleaning is really important. 882 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,200 Like regardless of who you live with, whether you have somebody 883 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:46,400 to help or whether you are, you know, taking on sort of the full 884 00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:52,360 responsibility of cleaning, what is going to help is having less 885 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:55,400 clutter and having an organized space. 886 00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:59,480 Because when people know or when you know where things go back, 887 00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:03,360 you're not then wasting all of your cleaning time like 888 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,640 reorganizing at the same time, because that really is what 889 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:11,520 slows people down so much is just when all of that excess 890 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:15,160 clutter is there. And so I do feel like, you know, 891 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,600 that relates to eliminating the work sometimes when you 892 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:22,760 eliminate the number of physical possessions that you have in 893 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:27,200 your space, that can then inherently help alleviate some 894 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,200 of those burdens around the responsibilities that you may 895 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:34,360 have. I like that definitely that pre 896 00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:39,360 cleaning or tidying is sometimes the biggest challenge, just 897 00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:43,280 getting down to where you can quickly clean your surfaces. 898 00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,480 And a lot of times going a little more minimal, little more 899 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:52,800 minimalist is the path to that lifestyle of being able to clean 900 00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:57,160 a little bit each day or certain days of the week, however you do 901 00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:00,120 it. So tell us, how can people get 902 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:04,280 their hands on your book? Yeah, so tidy up your life. 903 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:07,080 It is available wherever books are sold. 904 00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,680 There's also an audio book. So for listeners, if you want to 905 00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:15,080 clean with me literally as I'm reading to you, you can listen 906 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,000 to me. One of my jokes was the 907 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,320 publisher asked me if I wanted to record the audio book, and I 908 00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:24,520 asked if Morgan Freeman or Viola Davis were available Because if 909 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:28,160 not, I would happily do the book just because I love their 910 00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,360 little, sort of like, booming voices. 911 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:34,280 But I do think that people enjoy, you know, listening to 912 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:36,160 the book that's in the author's voice. 913 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:40,160 So I am excited by that. And then people can always find 914 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,520 me on Instagram at Tidydad. And then I also have a website, 915 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,600 thetidydad.com, which gives some more of these resources and tips 916 00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:52,200 in order to make tidying and organizing and cleaning feel a 917 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:55,760 bit more manageable, again with the goal of helping people make 918 00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,520 space for what's important. Thank you so much. 919 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:03,760 I think you really outlined the basics of what's going to be in 920 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:04,840 your book. Great. 921 00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,040 And I think our listeners are going to be really receptive to 922 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,320 it and really like it. Yeah, well, thanks for having 923 00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,560 me. It's great talking to you, 924 00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,400 Tyler. Yeah, thanks.