1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:01,560 What's up? Good morning. 2 00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:06,160 It's nice to see you guys. If we have not yet met, my name 3 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,000 is Cole. I'm going pastor here. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,520 So unfortunately for you, you are stuck with me for the next 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,880 45 minutes. So if you've got a Bible, we're 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,160 going to jump right into it. We love the Bible here. 7 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:20,200 Get to chapter 2 of Genesis. If you don't have a Bible, no 8 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,520 pressure will have all the words on the screen for you. 9 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,760 We're only doing 3 verses this morning. 10 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,080 Genesis chapter 2 verses 21 through 23. 11 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,960 Before I dive in, thank you. This this last week and a half 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,920 my wife and I took a long vacation to Orange Beach, AL and 13 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,600 it was awesome and we got back late Friday night. 14 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:48,680 Chloe got sick yesterday and so I am still like I'm still stuck 15 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:53,960 in vacation brain vacation mode. So I might be off the rails this 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,880 morning, but when am I ever on the rails? 17 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,920 So Genesis chapter 2 verses 21 through 23. 18 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,000 Our text this morning is about the first. 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,519 I'm excited to preach on it because our text this morning is 20 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:08,640 on the 1st wedding in human history. 21 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,600 So look, I don't care where you're at. 22 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,920 If you're not married, if you are married, if you're happily 23 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,720 married, if your marriage is trash right now, if you're 24 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,600 divorced, wherever place you are in life right now, it's going to 25 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,720 be something here for you. Because my ultimate goal in this 26 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,400 sermon isn't to give you a couple marriage tips, although I 27 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,040 might give you a few of those. My ultimate goal is for you to 28 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,920 see the glory of Jesus, to understand his love for you, and 29 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,720 to see how awesome He is to you. So I was since I'm preaching on 30 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,720 the 1st wedding ceremony this morning, Yesterday our family 31 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,600 was going on a little walk together and I was just, I was 32 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,680 just thinking about Chloe and IS own wedding ceremony and I was 33 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,360 kind of reliving some of those memories with with Chloe. 34 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,720 It was an absolutely crazy day. We got married outside in 35 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,720 Spencer, IA on the stormiest day of the year. 36 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,920 I'm not talking like rain, I'm talking like crazy 37 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,360 thunderstorms, storms and wind and all of that stuff. 38 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,440 I woke up on my wedding day in a hotel in Spencer. 39 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,360 I ambled on out to the common space to get some coffee. 40 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,880 Ended up chatting it up and becoming best friends with some 41 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,680 random old dude. You know how I do. 42 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,880 And after after the conversation while we were parting ways, he 43 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,400 said, well, hope you don't have any plans outside today. 44 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,880 I was like, no, not Manny. I'm just looking to get married 45 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:38,680 outside today. And he said, son, good luck out 46 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,080 there. I'm not kidding you. 47 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,920 This I I've got a picture. That's it. 48 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,840 That's what it looked like all day outside of Spencer, IA. 49 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:51,560 That's not AII took that picture on our wedding day. 50 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,840 And I swear it's sounding, it's going to sound like I'm being 51 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,360 dramatic, but I swear our friends were watching. 52 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:02,040 The radar claimed that they could literally see the clouds 53 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:07,160 part around Spencer, IA for the single hour of our wedding 54 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,480 ceremony that day. It was crazy. 55 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,600 So just like the Red Sea man bam. 56 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,600 And so we were like, we live in some of those memories. 57 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:19,440 And I thought it would be cute since my 6 year old daughter 58 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,400 Della is obsessed with marriage. She talks about it on a daily 59 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,600 basis. And so I thought it'd be cute to 60 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,800 tell my daughter about what it was like to wait for her mother 61 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,920 on the wedding altar. I told her all the all the 62 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,720 details. I remember being nervous, 63 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,040 standing up there, being anxious, sweating bullets, 64 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,680 feeling like forever had flown by. 65 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,400 I remember feeling like, Oh no, did she run away? 66 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,560 Is she not coming? And so I explained to her what 67 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,000 it was like to feel all those feelings and then to see the 68 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,160 doors open up. We had these makeshift outdoor 69 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,880 doors and see Chloe walk down the aisle. 70 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:58,560 And for all that emotion to overcome me and for me to burst 71 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,920 into tears of joy and for me to weep my eyes out. 72 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,080 And I was telling because I thought it was a sweet story. 73 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,800 And do you know what my 6 year old daughter said to me? 74 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:12,560 She said if my husband cried on our wedding day, I'd run away 75 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:18,800 from him too, which is whatever. It's what every guy wants to 76 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,920 hear when he opens up emotionally, right? 77 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,560 I wonder why guys aren't very good at being in touch with 78 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,280 their feelings, right? So I, I thought, like, man, 79 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,240 there's got to be something sweet and kind in that little 80 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,400 something touching in in that heart. 81 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,040 So I asked my daughter, what do you think it would have been 82 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,160 like to be at the wedding ceremony and to see mommy and 83 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,600 daddy get married? And she said it would probably 84 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:48,560 make me throw up. So I did whatever any good dad 85 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,560 would do, right? I grabbed her mother, pulled her 86 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,560 in close, gave her a big old kiss on the lips. 87 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:57,360 And she goes, it's even worse. It would make me pass out. 88 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:05,120 Like, OK, drama queen, OK, It doesn't matter. 89 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:11,280 Marriage is awesome. It doesn't matter how good, how 90 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:18,120 healthy your marriage is, every marriage ever is just going to 91 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:23,800 have those seasons where your marriage makes you want to throw 92 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:29,000 up, where things get hard, where it feels like, Oh my goodness, 93 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,080 did I marry the wrong person? There was actually a phenomenal 94 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:38,040 article that went viral in 2016 called Why You Will Marry the 95 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,320 Wrong Person. It's written by a dude named 96 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,280 Elaine Debaton. Dude's not even a Christian, but 97 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:45,200 it might be the best article on marriage that I've ever read. 98 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,280 Listen to this quote. Here's what he says. 99 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,760 It's one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. 100 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,440 We go to great lengths to avoid it, and yet we do it all the 101 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,680 same. We marry the wrong person. 102 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,960 Now the good news is that it doesn't matter if we find we 103 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,800 have married the wrong person. We don't need to abandon him or 104 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,800 her. We only need to abandon the 105 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:19,040 founding romantic idea upon which the Western understanding 106 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,720 of marriage has been based on the last 250 years. 107 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:27,360 What's that idea? That some perfect being exists 108 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:33,160 who can meet all our needs and satisfy every yearning. 109 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:39,200 Now, theologically, of course, you married the right person, 110 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,360 right? If you want to know whether or 111 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,480 not you married the right person, ask yourself one 112 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,080 question. Am I married to them? 113 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,240 Theologically, God's got that person for you if you're 114 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:53,760 married. Practically though, in terms of 115 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:58,480 fitness and compatibility, we all marry the wrong person. 116 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,520 We're all sinners, we're all jacked up, we're all screwed up. 117 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,640 And So what do you do when you hit those seasons, man? 118 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,920 What do you do when you hit those seasons and you're like, 119 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,440 Oh my gosh, somebody help me. I married the wrong person. 120 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,600 What do you do in those seasons where your marriage, which is 121 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,800 supposed to be your greatest source of joy, makes you want to 122 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,720 throw up? Why is marriage like that? 123 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:25,960 Why is it hard? Is there any design behind it 124 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,160 all? And can the book of Genesis help 125 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,200 us at all? The answer to that question is 126 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,320 yes. So if you're able to, go ahead 127 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,200 and stand for the reading of God's Word. 3 verses. 128 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,200 Those of you who grew up in church, you think you know this 129 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,720 story. I don't think you do. 130 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,640 Here are the verses. So the Lord God caused a deep 131 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:59,040 sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, this is pretty 132 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:04,600 sneaky, while he slept, God took one of his ribs and closed up 133 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:10,320 the place with flesh and the rib that the Lord God had taken from 134 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:16,480 the man, he made it into a woman and brought her to the man. 135 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,480 And then the man explodes with poetry. 136 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:24,960 This is Hebrew poetry. The man said This at last is 137 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:29,120 bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 138 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:34,760 She shall be called woman because she was taken out of 139 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:39,159 man. There's one central detail that 140 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:42,799 is the greatest clue in those three verses as to what the 141 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:45,600 nature and design of marriage truly is. 142 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,640 And I bet if you grew up in the church, you've missed it. 143 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,200 So let me pray and we'll dig in. Heavenly Father, I pray that you 144 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,480 will bless my preaching, help me say things that are helpful. 145 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,080 Anything that's unhelpful, just strike it from from my lips. 146 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:05,640 But ultimately I feel the pressure to, you know, perform 147 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,000 and that's really unhelpful. So Lord, take that away from me 148 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,600 and let me just authentically and genuinely be in love with 149 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,680 you. And whatever pours out of that, 150 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,520 I pray would just be life to people that they would know and 151 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,280 love Jesus and get this fact that at the center of the 152 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,160 universe is a God loves them. So it's in the precious name of 153 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,160 Jesus that all God's people prayed. 154 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:28,720 Amen. You can have a seat. 155 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,720 Look, we're doing a slow army crawl all the way through the 156 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,360 book of Genesis. And so we're like 10/11/12 157 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,800 sermons deep. And so if this is your first 158 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,680 Sunday, if you miss those other ones, let's play some ketchup 159 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,240 ball really quickly. Here's what you miss. 160 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:46,120 God creates the heavens of the earth and the earth by the word 161 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,760 of his mouth. He creates everything by 162 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,680 speaking things into existence. And then God creates Adam, the 163 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,480 man in his own image. And then he gives Adam the job 164 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,760 of working and keeping this Garden of Eden and ultimately 165 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,040 taking the Garden of Eden global, transforming the entire 166 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,840 world into a Garden of Eden. Now this is a, this is a job 167 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,120 that's too big for Adam to be alone. 168 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,640 So God says, OK, it's not good that Adam's alone, so I'll make 169 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,920 a helper fit for him. That's where we wind up today. 170 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,240 And how this is profound. This is so profound. 171 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,440 How does God make woman? How does God make Eve? 172 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,240 And if you've been reading the book of Genesis so far, you've 173 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,440 probably got a really good guess. 174 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,920 God's created everything so far by the power of the word of his 175 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,320 mouth. He speaks boom, creation 176 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,400 explodes into existence. He speaks boom, heavens, earth, 177 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:39,480 sun, moon, stars. Simple speech is painlessly, 178 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,680 painlessly makes everything explode into creation. 179 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,240 It's a little bit different with Adam. 180 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:49,560 He scoops up a handful of dust. He goes, breathes his spirit 181 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:53,640 into Adam and man exists as a living creature. 182 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,400 And so if you're a close reader and I know you are, what you're 183 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:01,160 thinking when it comes to the creation of woman, Eve is, I 184 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,920 know how God's going to make her. 185 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,080 He's going to speak. Oh, she'll explode into 186 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,080 existence. It's a good guess, but you'd be 187 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,160 wrong. Maybe he's going to do it like 188 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:18,560 he made Adam scoop another handful of dust up, breathe into 189 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,400 it, and boom, there's a woman. That'd be a really good guess. 190 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,640 It's not how God creates Eve. This is beautiful. 191 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,440 All those other methods, and this is important, All those 192 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,480 other methods of creating Eve would have been pain free, would 193 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,200 have been labor saving, and would have been time saving. 194 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:46,360 But that's not how God makes Eve Bro, this is beautiful. 195 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:52,400 God says hey Adam, come here. You're take a little nap son. 196 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,920 Then he puts him down to sleep. I don't know how maybe a right 197 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,440 hook Bam sleeps him sleeper chokehold. 198 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,880 I don't know. That's how I imagine it puts 199 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,520 Adam down and then look what happens in verse 21. 200 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:12,120 The Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and and while 201 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:16,240 he slept, God took one of his ribs and closed up its place 202 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,280 with flesh. He doesn't cause a sleep upon 203 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,680 Adam. Did you read the text closely? 204 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,760 Causes a deep sleep. Some translations actually 205 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,480 render it as a death sleep. It's not a literal death for 206 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:34,640 Adam, but perhaps it's a symbolic death for Adam and then 207 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:39,360 God Literally performs surgery. Side note, I've done a lot of 208 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,080 weddings and I like to do them a lot. 209 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,440 I think there should be some tradition that imitates this. 210 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,200 Like maybe like some tradition where like the best man is 211 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,840 responsible for like knocking out the groom on the day of the 212 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,320 wedding with like a write up just bam. 213 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,640 And then like when when he wakes up right at his wedding party, 214 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,720 he's like, welcome to marriage bro. 215 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:03,200 Something like that, right? No, you're right. 216 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,120 That would actually have legal consequences. 217 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,920 So that's assault. So we shouldn't do that. 218 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:15,200 But still God puts him down, puts him into a deep sleep. 219 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,520 And I want you to notice the pattern here. 220 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:24,400 Adam goes down into a death sleep or a deep sleep. 221 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:34,920 Adam's side, it's cut open. Eve is created out of Adam's 222 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,520 side. That's the pattern. 223 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,720 You guys with me. Can we go deeper? 224 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,600 OK, let's go deeper. OK, what in the heck is actually 225 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,680 going on? Are we serious? 226 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:55,200 We'll look at verse 22. The rib that the Lord God had 227 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,840 taken from the man he made into a woman and then brought her to 228 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:04,640 the man. She comes out of his side from 229 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,400 his rib. Why? 230 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:12,760 She's not taken from Adam's head to stand above him as his 231 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,520 superior. She's not taken from Adam's foot 232 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,040 to stand below him as his inferior. 233 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,480 Just taken out of Adam's side, his rib. 234 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,360 Why? To stand next to him as his 235 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:33,240 companion? This is profound and it gets 236 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,240 even better. Adam see, Adam sees the creation 237 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:43,480 of Eve and he goes, he goes finally, that's the literal like 238 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:50,280 look at look at verse 23. Then the man said this at last, 239 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:54,720 which I love that phrase because it means literally finally, I 240 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,520 love that phrase because Adam's literally been single for one 241 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,640 day in his entire life. It's like, cry me a river, bro. 242 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,520 Not even a single day. And he's like, finally, I've 243 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,880 been waiting my whole life for you, which I guess is true, but 244 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,040 he's actually the first groom to bawl his eyes out at the at the 245 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,240 wedding altar. It's just, I don't know if you 246 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,720 noticed this, but up until this point in the text, Adam hasn't 247 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:24,160 said a single word. Not, not one, not one yet, not 248 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,400 one that's recorded. And then we see the first 249 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,440 recorded speech in human history, and it's actually a 250 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,520 love poem, right? Which is great because he hasn't 251 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,040 said a word his entire life. Then bro sees a woman for the 252 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,160 first time and all of a sudden he thinks he's Shakespeare, 253 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,480 which is relatable. I get that explodes. 254 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:45,480 He explodes into poetry because he's never seen anything like 255 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,360 her. And there's also probably some 256 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,840 other relevant textual details that I don't need to go into too 257 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,880 much depth for as to why he explodes into a love poem. 258 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,360 But we'll just suffice it to say that Eve didn't spend a lot of 259 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:03,880 time stressing out about her wedding dress, right? 260 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,840 You want something way more natural, timeless. 261 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:12,000 You know what I'm saying, Jay? It's kind of the perfect wedding 262 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,880 ceremony, right? Because like, look at Adam. 263 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,080 Great. I mean, dude didn't even have to 264 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,040 worry about invites or a guest list. 265 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,280 The guest list is entirely exclusive. 266 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,880 Just God, Adam and Eve. It's perfect. 267 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,720 He goes ah at last and he explodes into poetry. 268 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,000 Here's the poem. He says this at last. 269 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,200 This is gooey stop man like this is Shakespearean. 270 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,120 It doesn't feel that way if you don't know Hebrew poetry at 271 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,320 first, but he did this is he's dropping some bars. 272 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:48,280 He says this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 273 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,000 She shall be called woman because she was taken out of 274 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,280 man. This doesn't seem romantic, but 275 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,440 it it really is. But it doesn't seem romantic. 276 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,080 But you also have to keep you got to recognize the fact that 277 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,080 Adam at least didn't mention to the fact that to Eve that she 278 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,240 was his only option. So kudos for him to not 279 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,839 including that in in the poem. But here's why. 280 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,079 Here's why this is so romantic. The other religion stories in 281 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:14,839 the ancient world did not teach what Adam is saying. 282 00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:19,040 It's actually amazing that Dana brought up Greek mythology this 283 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,599 morning because if you look at all the other ancient Near 284 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:25,119 Eastern creation stories and creation myths, there's a lot 285 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,520 out there and none of them taught what Adam here is 286 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,440 teaching in the Greek creation story. 287 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,560 For instance, what the creation of woman, you know how it 288 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:34,640 happens? I don't know if you guys know 289 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,160 this. What happens is humans steal 290 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:42,000 fire from the gods, take off the gods and then the gods in order 291 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,600 to punish men ends up creating woman. 292 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,280 It's a terrible story. He literally like Zeus literally 293 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,600 in the text. If you read the Greek 294 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,320 mythological text he literally describes women in the creation 295 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,800 myth as quote a beautiful evil and men. 296 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,640 I hope your view of women is more Christian than Greek Pagan. 297 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,480 So where? The reason why this is so 298 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,320 touching of a poem is because the world that Adam lives in, 299 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,480 where this was written, in the ancient world, women were viewed 300 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:16,680 oftentimes in other religions as made of inferior stuff. 301 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:23,360 And what Adam is saying is, oh, she's made of the same stuff as 302 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:27,200 me. Bone of my bone. 303 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,200 Flash of my flash. What's he saying? 304 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:37,200 He's saying she's me, but other she's saying she's made of the 305 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:43,240 same substance as me, the same clay, the same stuff, the same 306 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:48,320 worth, the same value. That's the poem that Adam 307 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,440 recites like Romeo when he first sees Juliet. 308 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,480 And those are our 3 verses this morning. 309 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,960 And that's our text this morning. 310 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,880 You guys ready to pack it in? Yeah. 311 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,880 Can we go deeper? What did we miss? 312 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,720 Did we miss anything in that story? 313 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:13,840 Here's what you might have missed. 314 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,680 I'm just going to read verses 21 through 23 again. 315 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,640 I want you to see if you notice that pattern. 316 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,360 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon. 317 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:30,040 The man goes down into a death sleep and while he slept, took 318 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:34,000 one of his ribs out of his side and closed up its place with 319 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,800 flesh. And the rib that the Lord God 320 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,520 had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to 321 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,600 the man. And then the man says this. 322 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,120 It lasts as bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. 323 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,880 She shall be called woman because she was taken out of 324 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,400 man. Did you notice the pattern that 325 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,720 I emphasized? Here's the pattern. 326 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,600 You got to see this. Don't sleep on this, OK? 327 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:59,440 You got to see this. Adam goes down and do a death 328 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,640 sleep. His side is cut open. 329 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:10,640 Eve is created from the rib that comes out of the side of Adam. 330 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,800 Does that sound familiar to any of you? 331 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,440 OK, if you're not tracking with me, one theologian named Peter 332 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,840 Lighthart, he can get us a little bit closer to a profound 333 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,080 observation. This is the I, I think this is 334 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,120 the thing that even if you know this story well, you missed it. 335 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,680 Here's what Lighthart says. He says what happens is Adam is 336 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:34,320 put into a state near death, and his body is divided in two. 337 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:41,400 That's what happens to animals offered on the altar in the Old 338 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:46,200 Testament. They're slaughtered and their 339 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:51,720 bodies are cut into two. Adam also is divided into two 340 00:20:51,720 --> 00:21:00,040 pieces, but the final aim is to reunite as one flesh with the 341 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:04,080 woman made from his rib. What happens is Adam passes 342 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:08,560 through a figurative death and dismemberment to be glorified. 343 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:15,760 He dies in order to rise in a new resurrected form that in the 344 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:20,120 Old Testament that is a sacrifice. 345 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:30,240 Did you notice that that's the first sacrifice in an entire 346 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,480 book about sacrifices? Here's the point. 347 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:40,920 Adam and Eve's marriage begins in death, and it ends in death. 348 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,360 Here's the point. Marriage is not sacrificial. 349 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:52,720 It is literal. Sacrifice comes from a 350 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,840 sacrifice. That's why the Bible says that 351 00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:00,400 marriage is a reflection of the gospel, because the gospel is 352 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,840 the story of the greatest sacrifice ever made. 353 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,120 What it symbolizes, Mike. I got a 2 year old animal. 354 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,920 His name is Jack. And I love him a lot. 355 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,000 Yeah, he's got a lot of big fans in this church. 356 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,280 He's he's crazy. I love him. 357 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,320 He's got my energy. He's got these little Vans shoes 358 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,240 that have flames on them, and I don't know if you guys know the 359 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,680 Vans squiggly pattern. It's got that on them too. 360 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,120 And he loves them. And he's absolutely convinced 361 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:30,280 that they are his fire truck shoes. 362 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,240 Fire truck shoes. And don't you dare call them 363 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,320 anything else because you're not going to win an argument. 364 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,960 This is the same kid who last night at 8:00 PM got mad at the 365 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:46,600 sun for going down. I was like, he's like, I don't 366 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,560 like it. I was like, I can't do anything 367 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,880 about that dude. So you're not going to win an 368 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,280 argument with this kid, but he's absolutely convinced that they 369 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,200 are his fire truck shoes. They're not van shoes. 370 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,960 They're not even fireman shoes. They're fire truck shoes. 371 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,640 And the reason why is obvious. The flames are obvious. 372 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:07,240 But if you know the Vans symbol, it's it's called the the vans 373 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,640 jazz stripe on the shoe. He's convinced that that's a 374 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:14,160 road for fire trucks. And it's like, sure, man, 375 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,760 whatever gets you to put your shoes on. 376 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,800 But I tried to explain it to him the other week. 377 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,680 I was like, actually, buddy, it's not actually a road for 378 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,600 your fire truck. That was designed by somebody. 379 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,320 And it's called the Vans Jazz stripe. 380 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,160 It's actually supposed to feel, if you look at it's supposed to 381 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:33,000 feel like the motion that skateboarders experience or 382 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,840 surfers experience when they're surfing, right? 383 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,360 It's supposed to look and feel like motion. 384 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,400 That's what the symbol is there for. 385 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,240 And he said, what's your source? Well, he didn't say that. 386 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,560 He's too. He said no fire truck shoes. 387 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:50,400 So I was like OK, sure, whatever gets them on your feet, they're 388 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:54,920 fire truck shoes. And look, it's it's cute when a 389 00:23:54,920 --> 00:24:01,880 2 year old misinterprets symbols because of his own interests. 390 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,000 It's cute. It's less cute when adults 391 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:11,880 misinterpret symbols because of their own personal interests as 392 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,760 well. There's going to be a moment, 393 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:21,160 hopefully, where Jack grows up and learns that symbols have 394 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:27,360 objective meanings because they have intelligent designers. 395 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,600 It's not. It's not actually a road for the 396 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,920 fire truck. The van symbol is a jazz strike 397 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,560 for motion. It's with the symbols there. 398 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,800 It was designed by somebody too many. 399 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:47,360 Way too many, way too many adults have not grown up and 400 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:51,960 they still interpret the symbol of marriage according to their 401 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,640 own interests. It's fire truck shoes. 402 00:24:55,720 --> 00:25:02,520 Or marriage exists because he completes me. 403 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:08,560 Barf. Marriage exists because I'm a 404 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,520 Disney Princess and I deserve my happily ever after. 405 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:16,440 Or worse. Worse, interpreting the symbol 406 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,400 of marriage according to our consumeristic world that we live 407 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,640 in. Marriage is like anything that I 408 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,040 purchase and consume in our world. 409 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,040 It's like the new iPhone. I like it when it's sparkly and 410 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,720 new and doesn't tick me off. But as soon as there's a new 411 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,080 model on the market, as soon as I become bored of this one, I'll 412 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:42,440 just throw it away. Way too many adults misinterpret 413 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:46,480 the symbol of marriage as it exists to complete me. 414 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,680 I enjoy it while I've got it and I'll throw it away when I'm done 415 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:54,000 with it. The Bible says no, Grow up. 416 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,080 Symbols have meanings because symbols have designers. 417 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,040 God's the designer and the scriptures say that. 418 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,200 The mystery of marriage. This is Ephesians 5. 419 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,000 The mystery of marriage refers to Christ and the Church. 420 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,040 So why is God designed marriage to function the way it does? 421 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,680 Because it's a symbol that when people look at it, it's supposed 422 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:24,440 to reflect the gospel. OK, what's the gospel? 423 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,960 And the gospel is the story of the greatest sacrifice that's 424 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,440 ever been made. It's the story of Jesus Christ 425 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,760 being crucified on a cross and being put to death for our sins 426 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:41,080 to take away our crap, take away our mistakes, to cover us in his 427 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,600 righteousness to be forgiven so that we could be made into the 428 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,760 bride of Christ. That's the gospel. 429 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:52,040 And what these 3 verses all the way back in your Old Testament, 430 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,880 all the way back in the 2nd chapter the Bible is doing, is 431 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,560 it is hinting at you this first wedding ceremony between Adam 432 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,560 and Eve. It's reflecting to you the 433 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,120 gospel in like a million ways, right? 434 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:08,240 We can do this all day. I'll just give you 3 simple ways 435 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,840 that those 3 verses reflect the gospel. 436 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:16,400 First, Jesus is also put to death to earn his bride. 437 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,120 Adam goes into a deep sleep to earn his bride. 438 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:23,280 Jesus goes into a literal death sleep. 439 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,080 He's crucified on a cross, goes 6 feet deep, truly dies. 440 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,560 And when he's resurrected, he obtains the church as his bride. 441 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:37,920 It's the same story, Dope right? Or #2 Jesus bride is also 442 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:42,280 created from his side. When Jesus is crucified on a 443 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,200 cross and he dies, a soldier comes up to him, puts a spear in 444 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,840 his side, pulls it out. You ever wonder why that detail 445 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,120 is there? What's going on? 446 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,000 What comes out of Jesus aside blood and water? 447 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,640 Why? Because it's the blood that 448 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,280 covers us in his righteousness and the water that washes away 449 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:06,240 our sin and makes us into the bride of Christ. 450 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:12,880 Just like Adam and Eve, the church is also made out of the 451 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,680 rib of Jesus and pours forth from his side. 452 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,160 Is this cool? This is so cool as your Old 453 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:25,800 Testament right? Or #3 Jesus also loves his bride 454 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:31,760 apart from her weak works. Notice what did what did Eve do 455 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:36,680 to earn Adam's love? Nothing. 456 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,560 Not a darn thing. She just woke up. 457 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,760 That's all she did. She just woke up. 458 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,360 She's she hasn't even put makeup on. 459 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,440 She's not. She didn't do her hair yet. 460 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,480 She probably still has morning breath. 461 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,240 She didn't do anything. It's the mere sight. 462 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:05,520 A sight of her alone. No works that makes Adam explode 463 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,040 with affection. Adam loves Eve apart from her 464 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,320 weird works. He loves her before she does 465 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,840 anything for him. Does that sound like anybody to 466 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,240 you? Exactly the same way that Jesus 467 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,360 loves you. Jesus loves the church, you, his 468 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,880 bride, apart from your works. You can't earn Jesus's love 469 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,480 through works. You can't earn it through trying 470 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,840 to be a really religious person doesn't impress God. 471 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,120 You can't earn it because you don't. 472 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,280 You don't cuss, you don't chew, and you don't date girls who do. 473 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,360 Can't earn it that way. You can't earn it by acting like 474 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,440 Ned Flunders from The Simpsons. None of that stuff impresses 475 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,840 God. You know what impresses God? 476 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:48,320 The death of Jesus on a cross. And you get that by faith alone. 477 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,680 You can't earn it. Jesus loves us because of grace 478 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:57,400 alone, just like Adam loves Eve. Guys, this is so massive. 479 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,040 This is so massive, even before the fall, before sin, marriage 480 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,840 in paradise. Get this, in paradise, marriage 481 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,240 still required sacrifice. So of course in a fallen world 482 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:16,600 with sin, it's like 100 times more true that marriage requires 483 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,880 sacrifice, right? Like cars run on gas, lights run 484 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:26,160 on electricity, I run on caffeine, human bodies run on 485 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,680 oxygen, marriages run on sacrifice. 486 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,080 That's the gasoline that makes them drive. 487 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:39,440 Every good marriage you've ever encountered is a living 488 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:44,120 graveyard. It's a living graveyard that's 489 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:49,560 filled with millions of little invisible deaths, deaths of 490 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,720 preference, opinions, even dreams. 491 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:56,880 Every time you see a marriage of 30 years And she still looks at 492 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,400 him with a glimmer in his eyes and the guy still makes her 493 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,920 laugh and they still burn for each other 30 years, then you 494 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,640 know what you're witnessing. You're witnessing like a little, 495 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:12,720 just a little flower that grew out of a graveyard of a million 496 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,600 deaths. Everyone. 497 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,400 It's a secret sauce to marriage. Everyone is. 498 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:25,520 And so every marriage is sacrifice, Adam and Eve's, Jesus 499 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:31,200 and the churches, yours, your future. 1 And so if every 500 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,880 marriage is a sacrifice, it doesn't matter whether you're 60 501 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,720 years or six days and you're going to hit a point where both 502 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,280 spouses think, Oh my gosh, somebody help. 503 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,480 I married the wrong person. So what do you do when you hit 504 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,680 that point in your marriage? I had a list of seven things. 505 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:53,200 I willed it down for two because I love you guys first. 506 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:57,080 The first thing you need to do is admit that you married the 507 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,640 wrong person. I don't mean this theologically. 508 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,760 Theologically, if you're married, that's the right person 509 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,640 for you. I mean it practically. 510 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,920 We all practically marry the wrong person. 511 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,920 They frustrate us. They sin against us. 512 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,080 They're not compatible. They take you off. 513 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,640 And why do those actual moments of frustration and sin and 514 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,480 marital hardship happen? They happen because those are 515 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,760 the actual moments where you have to sacrifice. 516 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,720 We got to start to understand as modern people that the fact that 517 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:31,480 your marriage demands sacrifice is not a defect in the marriage. 518 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,400 Most modern people think that when their marriage puts them in 519 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,000 a spot, but they got to give something up, make a tough 520 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,480 sacrifice, their preference, their time, their opinions, 521 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,920 their money. They freak out and they think, 522 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,800 Oh my God, something's wrong with my marriage. 523 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:52,160 No, sacrifice is not a bug in the system of marriage. 524 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,760 It's the feature. It's the feature because it's 525 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,280 the only thing that makes you become like Jesus. 526 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,760 Nobody ever drifts into Christ likeness. 527 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,640 It's only through 1,000,000 little sacrificial daily deaths. 528 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,400 And that's what marriage is. When you married, you doubled 529 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,880 the likelihood of getting cancer because if she gets it, you do 530 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,320 too. You doubled the likelihood of an 531 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,120 anxiety disorder because if he gets it, you do too. 532 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,680 It becomes your life. That's what it's like. 533 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:29,520 If you married, I don't know, say a wrestling coach, you just 534 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,120 double the likelihood of you getting ringworm, if you know 535 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,920 what I'm saying. Tripled, quadrupled. 536 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,760 Chloe's a champ. Say thanks to her the next time 537 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:45,320 you see her. You double all the possibilities 538 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:54,080 of human suffering. But also you get to reflect the 539 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:58,200 beauty and worth of Jesus and the good times also get better. 540 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,800 But this is the pattern. Adam was put into a deep sleep 541 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,680 to obtain his wife. Adam and Eve's marriage begins 542 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,480 and ends in death. Jesus was put into a literal 543 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,480 death to obtain the church. And so I would encourage you to 544 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,000 not think that your marriage is going to be all picking daisies 545 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,880 and beach cruises because not only did you marry the wrong 546 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,360 person, we are all the wrong person to marry. 547 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,280 We're all screwed up and jacked up. 548 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,679 We've got to admit. And that brings me to my second 549 00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,480 thing. Admit you marry the wrong person 550 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,639 and then commit to dying to yourself. 551 00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:38,000 And this is how you become the right person every. 552 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,520 This is so important. The the biggest mindset shift 553 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,600 you can make in your marriage is simple. 554 00:34:46,639 --> 00:34:49,600 You have to commit to really believing that your biggest 555 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:53,960 marriage problem is yourself and not your spouse. 556 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,040 It's massive. This is the biggest mindset 557 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,080 shift you could possibly make. You got to suck it up and be 558 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,560 convinced to treat your own stuff, your own failures, your 559 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,920 own sins more seriously than you treat your spouses. 560 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,120 We usually do the opposite. We treat their sins really 561 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,120 seriously. And then with our sins, we're 562 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,720 like, well, you know, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, 563 00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:14,680 grace. And of course, there is grace. 564 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,560 But the key here, the key is to treat your own more seriously. 565 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,840 And for a really simple reason. Because because your sins are 566 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:27,120 the only sins that you have the power to change, right? 567 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,160 And because your sins are the only sins that have the power to 568 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,600 send you to hell, your spouse's sins don't have the power to do 569 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:41,400 that. And so definitionally your sins, 570 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:47,200 your weaknesses, your stuff, you should take that more seriously 571 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,640 than your spouse's. And So what ends up happening in 572 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,720 an awesome marriage, you know, like a marriage where like 40 573 00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:55,240 years and they still have fun together, right? 574 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:57,880 And like this type of marriage where their when their kids are 575 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:02,400 teenagers like mom and dad's PDA makes them go, you know like 576 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,920 those those awesome marriages that they like radiate with joy. 577 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,760 Those marriages are possible but only happens when both spouses 578 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,480 default reaction. When stuff gets hard is to start 579 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,080 by asking what needs to die in me? 580 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,400 How do my own stupid stuff create this problem? 581 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,520 That's when the magic starts to happen. 582 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,120 There was a researcher named John Gottman and he spent 583 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,840 decades on researching marriages. 584 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,600 He observed not a small sample size, over 3000 couples and he 585 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,040 became notorious for being able to predict whether the marriage 586 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:39,520 would implode or survive. Check this out Within 15 minutes 587 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:48,320 of meeting the couple with 96% accuracy. 15 minutes how he 588 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:52,000 spent the 1st 15 minutes asking the husband, check this out 589 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,880 asking the husband, Hey, tell me about a time when you really had 590 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,360 to work on yourself. And if the husband had an 591 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,760 answer, if he said, you know, I, man, I, I went down this deep 592 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,560 porn addiction. I fought my way out of it or 593 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,440 man, I had this drug addiction and it was brutal. 594 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,240 The withdrawals were terrible, but I got out of it. 595 00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:14,800 Or even like I had this personality thing that I needed 596 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,560 to conform to. Like, whatever it was, if the 597 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:20,360 husband had something he worked on, he'd predict that marriage 598 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:24,000 is going to make it. But if the husband said, you 599 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:30,400 know, I'm just, I'm just not really into working on myself. 600 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,880 He predicted that the marriage would implode. 601 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:41,520 The results of his research, Statistically speaking, when the 602 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,240 man is not willing to work on himself. 603 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,840 And look, both spouses need to work on themselves. 604 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:51,480 It's just the statistical likelihood points to the 605 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,800 evidence that men tend to be worse at marriage. 10. 606 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,320 So statistically speaking, when the man is not willing to work 607 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:03,520 on himself, there is an 81% chance that the marriage will 608 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:13,880 self destruct. So look, everybody in a 609 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,880 marriage, yes, doubly so. Men. 610 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:25,320 Men, you don't want to work on yourself, That's fine. 611 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,920 You won't be convinced that all your problems in life is always 612 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,000 somebody else's fault, that's fine. 613 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,040 You don't want to work on yourself? 614 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,560 Fine. You're coward. 615 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,680 You're turd. That's fine. 616 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:46,120 Jesus loves turds. Don't tweet that. 617 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,440 That sounds bad out of context, you know what I'm saying? 618 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:55,280 Just don't get married. And if you're like, if you're 619 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,000 one of those dudes who's like, you know, I'm not really into 620 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:02,640 self improvement or spirituality, that's fine. 621 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,160 But you should. It's better for you to not work 622 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:09,080 on yourself alone than for you to not work on yourself and drag 623 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,440 a woman or God forbid, kids down into hell with you. 624 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:17,640 Because if you're hell bent on not changing 81%, statistically 625 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,840 speaking chance that the marriage is going to implode, 626 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,080 you got to be willing to work on yourself to change, grow, 627 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,640 reinvent on all those things require what they all require 628 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,400 sacrifice. In worldly marriages, when the 629 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,520 marriage is bad and something has to die in the marriage, 630 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,400 idiots say you do it. In Christian marriages, when 631 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,440 something has to die, both spouses say me, I'll do it 632 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,600 right. A famous comedian one time said 633 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:45,640 a good marriage isn't 5050. A good marriage is 6040 with 634 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,360 both spouses trying to be the 60. 635 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:52,440 It's good advice, but you're married, man. 636 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,480 There's just like there's just got to be this dog in you that 637 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:59,200 says like I, I, I said till death do us part. 638 00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:04,040 And I said it in front of God and I said it in front of people 639 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,320 and you, my spouse, you're pissing me off. 640 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:11,280 But we're going to stick to it, not because of my feelings. 641 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,640 But because of God's design and marriage, we'll get help, we'll 642 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,320 get pastor and we'll read books, we'll try shock therapy. 643 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,560 I don't care. Try plastic surgery, whatever it 644 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,680 takes. I'm not going to tell the world 645 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,720 with my marriage that I don't care about the gospel. 646 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,320 That's that's the thing you got to have in you, man. 647 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,360 Like I even think about it when I hit the hit the weights. 648 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,280 It's like if you want to take off your wedding ring when you 649 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,720 go to the gym, that's fine. I would rather my ring finger 650 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:39,800 get ripped off in a lifting accident than not wear my ring 651 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,240 to the gym. You just got to have this thing 652 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:44,080 in you. That's like, I'm fighting for 653 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,440 this marriage, right? The difference between marriages 654 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,560 that make it and marriages that don't, right? 655 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,520 With three exceptions of biblical cases for divorce, 656 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,280 adultery, physical abuse, and desertion, those things happen 657 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,400 and those things are valid. But outside of that, the 658 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,760 difference between marriages that make it and those that 659 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,720 don't isn't compatibility. It's not like the ones who made 660 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,240 it, they just had similar personality. 661 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:11,520 No, it's not compatibility. The difference is that marriages 662 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,000 that make it are filled with two people. 663 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,360 Who says I will not tell the world with my marriage that I 664 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,880 don't care about the gospel. My marriage is about Jesus. 665 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,280 It's not ultimately about my feelings. 666 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,920 It's not about personal fulfillment. 667 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,080 I want to put the glory of Jesus on display. 668 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:32,080 I want it to be a symbol to the world that shows how much Jesus 669 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:36,520 loves the world. I want it to be this 3D portrait 670 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,080 of the gospel. I want people to see that Jesus 671 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,800 is awesome and that is everything. 672 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,000 That's you got two people in marriage with that viewpoint, 673 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,880 you can make it, but I saw a meme on Instagram that I 674 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,640 actually liked, which is rare. There it is. 675 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,080 This is marriage. You disagree, Don't get married. 676 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,440 The hands that are being held on the left are getting nailed 677 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,360 together on the right. That's true. 678 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,920 That's what I've been trying to say this entire sermon, man, you 679 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,680 can, you can have an awesome marriage, but you can't drift 680 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,600 and do it. You got to fight for it. 681 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,960 Like like I'm convinced, I'm convinced that more than any 682 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:18,000 other thing that I do in life, my biggest purpose in life is to 683 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:22,760 fight for my life's joy and to fight for my marriage. 684 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,720 I know that's true. Like I'm telling you guys, if I 685 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:32,360 die before Chloe, which seems very likely, let's be honest, if 686 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:37,440 I die before Chloe and get to heaven, I'm convinced that the 687 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:42,280 first question Jesus is going to ask me is not hey, how big did 688 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:47,920 you grow the church? No, he's not going to ask me. 689 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,800 Hey, how many awards did you win? 690 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:56,960 No, fully convinced that the first question Jesus is going to 691 00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:04,160 ask me when I get to heaven is how's Chloe? 692 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:10,360 How's my girl, How's my daughter? 693 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:14,240 Like on my, on my best days, I don't operate in this mode as 694 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:16,560 much as I should. But on my best days, like when 695 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,960 I'm on sabbatical and have a lot of space and time to think, I've 696 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,600 got this. I have this visual in my head 697 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,720 and it's really vivid. It's, it's a portrait of Chloe 698 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,800 and I's wedding day where we're both together and I can still 699 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,320 see it. We've got a picture of it. 700 00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:36,720 She's in her white dress and I'm blurred out in the background, 701 00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,400 which is what makes it a really good picture. 702 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:45,080 But I'm whispering something in her ear, and that was 10 years 703 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,000 ago. I don't even know what I was 704 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,840 saying. It was probably really funny. 705 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,560 Maybe it was a joke, maybe it was something. 706 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,320 Maybe I was just being goofy. I'm whispering something in her 707 00:43:55,320 --> 00:44:01,640 ear and the face that Chloe is making in that picture on her 708 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:05,280 wedding dress, the face that she's making, guys, it's like 709 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:13,000 it's this face that flirts with a massive smile and all out 710 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:18,840 laughter. And when I'm thinking right, 711 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:26,080 when I'm in a good space, when I'm in step with the Lord, the 712 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:31,440 main question I ask myself is how do I get that face? 713 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,200 What's it take to put that face on her? 714 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,680 What's it take? What do I got to be? 715 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,600 What can I do to get that face right? 716 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,680 At wedding ceremonies? I love doing them. 717 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:51,800 When that moment where the bride is Googling at the groom and the 718 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,800 groom is wide eyed with the bride. 719 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,360 Peter, Megan, you guys know what I'm talking about. 720 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,120 You guys had Googoo eyes for each other just the other month, 721 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:04,360 rather Googling each other. When people see that on TV 722 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,680 shows, movies, or in real life, everybody feels the same thing. 723 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,000 Thing that everybody feels is God. 724 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,400 I wish somebody would look at me that way. 725 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:18,440 Everybody feels that way. And if that's the way you feel, 726 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,000 I have really good news for you because that's a symbol of the 727 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:26,680 gospel. And that means that you do have 728 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,400 somebody that looks at you like that. 729 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,840 That's precisely the way that God looks at you. 730 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:35,720 That's the gospel. The gospel is the good news that 731 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,800 Jesus is looking at you right now. 732 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,800 That way. He died to take away all your 733 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,800 sins, to cover you in his righteousness. 734 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,840 And you gain that righteousness not by earning it, but by faith 735 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,360 alone. And so right now, like a husband 736 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,360 looks at his wife on their wedding day, Jesus is looking at 737 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,120 you like that. You know he's looking at you. 738 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,160 He's not like, ah, man, I got to put up with that part. 739 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:59,680 No, he's beaming at you, sparkles in his eyes, foam 740 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,400 finger on your name painted on his chest. 741 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,400 He's a big fan of you, crazy about you. 742 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,640 He loves it you. He's looking at you with tears 743 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,920 in his eyes like a groom on his wedding day. 744 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,800 That is what marriage symbolizes. 745 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,720 That's the design. And does your marriage symbolize 746 00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:19,320 that? Does it? 747 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:23,720 Because if it doesn't, if your marriage is mediocre, if your 748 00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,800 marriage sucks right now, that's OK. 749 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,320 But today's the day. Start today. 750 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,800 Just change today. You can do it. 751 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,720 Just change today. Ask God for faith and strength 752 00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,800 and then change today. Renew your love for your spouse. 753 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,040 Do whatever it takes to burn for her again. 754 00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:43,960 Do whatever it takes to burn for him again. 755 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:45,280 Get a different job if you have to. 756 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,520 Throw away your phone if you have to. 757 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,960 Get new friends if you have to. Get rid of your hobbies if you 758 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:50,880 have to. Drain your bank account. 759 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:52,440 Take her on a date if you have to. 760 00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:56,440 I don't care. Just remember, Adam was put into 761 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,960 a deep sleep for Eve. Adam and Eve's marriage begins 762 00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:04,520 in death and it ends in death. Jesus was put to literal death 763 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,160 for the church. So whatever it takes, you 764 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,600 didn't. You didn't think you were going 765 00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,280 to get out of your marriage alive, did you? 766 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:18,560 Now it begins and ends in death. Heavenly Father, I pray for 767 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,880 faith this morning. I think there were some helpful 768 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,120 things in that message, maybe some hard things in that 769 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,320 message. So for the helpful things, just 770 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,640 drive them super deep into our hearts and help that drive us 771 00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:36,880 towards Christ likeness. For the hard things, the things 772 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:43,160 that landed maybe not well or with too much force or broke us, 773 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:47,680 just pray for memory of the gospel, the the fact that you 774 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,320 love us apart from any of our works and that all you say and 775 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,400 all you do to us is only done out of love because that's all 776 00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,680 you have for those who are in Christ is love. 777 00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,320 And so it's in the precious name of Jesus that all God's people 778 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,680 prayed. Amen.