1
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,680
Here's a fundamental fact about 
reality and human nature. 

2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,400
And I can say this right now 
because Chloe's not right here. 

3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,680
She's feeding Jacks. 
I'm going right for this one. 

4
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,680
Everybody, myself included, 
probably myself more included 

5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:18,120
than anybody. 
Everybody in life thinks that 

6
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,600
they're going to be awesome at 
marriage until they get married.

7
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,760
Don't act like that's not you, 
Right? 

8
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,400
Everybody thinks they're going 
to be awesome in marriage until 

9
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:33,120
they get married. 
This was absolutely cold, Ike. 

10
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,160
I remember as a young man being 
engaged to Chloe and finding 

11
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,560
some counsel from some older, 
wiser men. 

12
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,520
And they warned me that marriage
was going to be difficult. 

13
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,920
And like a good Iowa boy, I 
shook my head and smiled. 

14
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,560
But deep down, you know what I 
thought? 

15
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:54,400
I thought, yeah, it's probably 
difficult for you, maybe for 

16
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,800
you. 
But but what you don't 

17
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,440
understand is I've read John 
Piper's book on marriage 

18
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,120
already. 
So what else is there to learn, 

19
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,960
right? 
I've read. 

20
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,640
I I've read Real Marriage by 
Mark Driscoll. 

21
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,280
Chill. 
It was 2014. 

22
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,520
You read it too. 
And by and after all, he's known

23
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,160
for his gentleness and tender 
getting Mark and I don't talk 

24
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,400
anymore. 
Ever. 

25
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:22,760
We did. 
Never. 

26
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,080
Everybody, every everybody 
thinks they're going to be 

27
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,240
awesome in marriage until they 
get married. 

28
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:40,680
Because you get married and then
the holidays come around, right?

29
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,680
Holidays come around. 
Then the disagreements start to 

30
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:50,200
happen, and then the preferences
get nudged to the side. 

31
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,720
Then the sacrifices start 
getting made. 

32
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,000
Then maybe the children come and
everything changes. 

33
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,440
And then for some of us, the 
seven-year itch comes around. 

34
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:10,160
And it's then and only then, not
when you're young, engaged in 

35
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,920
reading piper on marriage, and 
have you all these ideals of who

36
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,680
you'll be as a knight in shining
armor. 

37
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:20,160
But it's then when everything 
hits the fan, that we find out 

38
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:26,240
what our real view of marriage 
is, the real one, that you 

39
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,080
really believe what marriage is 
for. 

40
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,640
About a decade ago, I read an 
essay that changed my life. 

41
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:35,120
I've referenced it once since 
preaching at Frontier, but that 

42
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,560
was about five years ago, so I'm
going to reference it again. 

43
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,400
I don't like doing that, but the
Lord just laid it in my heart 

44
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,640
powerfully this morning. 
And I I read it about once a 

45
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,560
year because it struck me so 
powerfully in. 

46
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,520
In the essay, the writer was 
describing a situation he was in

47
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,200
where he was in a car with a 
buddy and they were driving on 

48
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:57,120
the road and as they were 
driving back home from golfing 

49
00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,920
or whatever, they were driving 
behind this truck and through 

50
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,800
the back window. 
In the truck, he could see the 

51
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:07,280
silhouette of the mother and the
father in the front seat and the

52
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,320
family of children in the back 
seat. 

53
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:17,320
And suddenly one of the back 
wheels of the truck snapped off.

54
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,120
And here's how the writer 
describes the situation. 

55
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:27,600
Quote Suddenly one of the back 
wheels of the track of the truck

56
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:32,160
snapped off and the truck veered
sharply to the right and shot 

57
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,080
off a 60 foot Cliff. 
My friend and I were the only 

58
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:40,880
ones there, so we stopped our 
car and ran down the hillside. 

59
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,560
We ran to the children doing 
what we could do, but all of 

60
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,320
them were unconscious. 
The mother was seriously 

61
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,440
injured. 
It looked as though she had 

62
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:57,720
broken her legs and pelvis, but 
she she started crawling on her 

63
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:03,640
belly to each child. 
We couldn't prevent her, but the

64
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,520
father was in the best shape of 
anyone. 

65
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:13,720
But he stayed in the truck, and 
this scene is forever engraved 

66
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,160
in my mind because it says 
something to me about the men of

67
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:21,160
our country. 
The children and women are lying

68
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:26,800
wounded, strewn throughout our 
cities, and the father needs to 

69
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,320
get out of the truck. 
Father needs to get out of the 

70
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,720
truck. 
So this morning we're talking 

71
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:40,360
about divorce and the marriage. 
And as we wade into this subject

72
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,640
together, my central argument is
going to be, and while this text

73
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,400
does speak to both men and 
women, I think you'll see in the

74
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:52,360
text that Jesus primarily puts 
the burden on men to get out of 

75
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,120
the truck. 
Jesus wants men to get out of 

76
00:04:55,120 --> 00:05:00,640
the truck and join their wives 
in putting together the wreckage

77
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,920
of marriage. 
And as we wade into divorce and 

78
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,400
remarriage, I know that some of 
you have sat through some awful 

79
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,880
and guilt ridden sermons on 
marriage and divorce. 

80
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,160
And so the mere mention of the 
subject maybe makes some of you 

81
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,040
want to switch off. 
That's that's not going to work 

82
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,320
this morning. 
And if that's you, I'm just 

83
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,600
asking you to give me a shot and
to open up your heart a little 

84
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,320
bit this morning. 
Does that sound good? 

85
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,840
Cool. 
Let's stand for the reading of 

86
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:34,560
God's word. 
First verse one, chapter 10. 

87
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:40,520
Jesus is on his way from his 
Transfiguration to Jerusalem, 

88
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,800
where, as he's told us already, 
he will be crucified. 

89
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,160
There's a cross waiting for him.
And what's he talking about? 

90
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,280
Verse one. 
And he left there and went to 

91
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,440
the region of Judea and beyond 
the Jordan, and crowds gathered 

92
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,880
to him again and again, as was 
his custom. 

93
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:59,240
He taught them. 
But then the Pharisees came up, 

94
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:04,880
and in order to test him, asked 
him, is it lawful for a man to 

95
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:10,160
divorce his wife? 
And he answered them, What did 

96
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:16,840
Moses command you? 
And they said, well, Moses 

97
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:21,840
allowed a man to write a 
certificate of divorce to send 

98
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,880
her away. 
And Jesus said to them, it's 

99
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,920
because of guys like you. 
It's because of your hardness of

100
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,680
heart, that he wrote this 
commandment. 

101
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,680
But from the beginning of 
creation God made them male and 

102
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,000
female. 
Therefore a man shall leave his 

103
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,440
father and mother and hold fast 
to his wife, and the two shall 

104
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,920
become one flesh. 
So they are no longer 2 but one 

105
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,840
flesh. 
What their God? 

106
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,680
What therefore God has joined 
together, Let no man separate. 

107
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,400
And later they wanted clarity. 
And in the house the disciples 

108
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,960
asked him again about this 
matter. 

109
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,640
And Jesus said to them, I'm not 
backpedaling. 

110
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,760
Whoever divorces his wife and 
marries another, commits 

111
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,760
adultery against her, and she 
divorces her husband, and 

112
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,520
marries another. 
She commits adultery. 

113
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,600
Jesus is for you and he is for 
your joy. 

114
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,600
And this is his word. 
Go and have a seat. 

115
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,030
OK, so context, historical 
context. 

116
00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:22,590
I already covered a little bit 
about this, but this is 

117
00:07:22,590 --> 00:07:23,950
important. 
There's Jesus with his 

118
00:07:23,950 --> 00:07:25,910
disciples. 
Like the text says, they're 

119
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,950
traveling from Judea to 
Jerusalem. 

120
00:07:28,350 --> 00:07:30,510
And what's waiting for Jesus in 
Jerusalem? 

121
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:35,190
The cross. 
So Jesus is essentially in the 

122
00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:39,440
middle of a slow death March to 
Jerusalem. 

123
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,120
The shadow of the cross is 
hanging over him. 

124
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,800
The shadow of the cross is 
present. 

125
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,960
The shadow of the cross is 
there, and he knows it, and he's

126
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,600
talking about marriage. 
And so if there's anybody that 

127
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,600
we should pine to listen to 
about marriage, it's somebody 

128
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:57,200
who knows he's about to die. 
So as we talk about marriage 

129
00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,360
this morning, we need to know 
that this is not just anybody's 

130
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,440
view of marriage. 
This is marriage under the 

131
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:07,800
shadow of the cross. 
Verse, one verse by verse. 

132
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,560
And he left there and went to 
the region of Judea and beyond 

133
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,480
the Jordan. 
And the crowds gathered to him 

134
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,880
again, and he kept on teaching 
them. 

135
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:22,720
And the Pharisees came up, and 
in order to test him asked is it

136
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,400
lawful for a man to divorce his 
wife? 

137
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,160
Pause for a second. 
Isn't that interesting notice 

138
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,240
notice in the story in the text?
I want you to notice that this 

139
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,600
is, this is not genuine interest
from the Pharisees. 

140
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,480
They don't really care about 
what Jesus's view on marriage 

141
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,520
is. 
And we know this because the 

142
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,320
Bible provides the motive for 
the question. 

143
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,800
They're not interested. 
They're not hungry to learn from

144
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,440
him. 
They are, quote, testing him. 

145
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,360
So in other words, what the 
Pharisees are interested in 

146
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:56,920
doing is either seeing Jesus 
contradict John the Baptist or 

147
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,880
Jesus contradict the Old 
Testament. 

148
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,560
So what they're trying to do is 
they're trying to lay a trap. 

149
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:05,960
They've laid a trap for Jesus 
and Jesus hits some jujitsu on 

150
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,320
him, right? 
Rather than walking into him, 

151
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,440
Jesus turns the hunter into the 
haunted and he turns their trap 

152
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,760
against them. 
Look at verse three. 

153
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,720
Only Jesus. 
Jesus answered them. 

154
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:22,840
Well what did Moses command you?
And they said, well, Moses 

155
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:27,520
allowed a man to write a 
certificate of divorce and to 

156
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,200
send her away. 
And Jesus said, because of your 

157
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,320
hardness of heart he wrote you 
this commandment. 

158
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,120
Notice pause. 
Notice Jesus's language. 

159
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,880
I I emphasized it as I read it 
there. 

160
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,480
But but notice this, right? 
He asked. 

161
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,600
He asked what Moses or we could 
say the Old Testament. 

162
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,280
He asked what Moses commands 
them. 

163
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,920
And they don't have an answer to
that question because there is 

164
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,600
no answer to that question. 
Because Moses never the Old 

165
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,040
Testament never commands us to 
do such a thing. 

166
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,200
But they do respond with what 
Moses allows them to do, which 

167
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,040
is for a man to get a 
certificate of divorce on the 

168
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,200
account of adultery and to send 
his wife again. 

169
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,320
And then Jesus reveals why they 
love this so much. 

170
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,720
They they love this allowance in
the Old Testament because they 

171
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,640
have A hardness of heart, and 
that's important. 

172
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:23,720
You wonder why it's important. 
It's important because it forms,

173
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:29,360
it forms his tone in this text. 
We have to we have to see that 

174
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,640
Jesus right here, he's not 
speaking to wounded spouses 

175
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,640
who've been physically abused or
cheated against. 

176
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,080
He's speaking to men with the 
hardness of heart. 

177
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,840
And these hard hearted men who 
are religious want to take 

178
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,800
advantage of an exception clause
in the Bible to essentially 

179
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,760
spend their lives riding a 
carousel of women. 

180
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,960
They're hard hearted, and what 
hard hearts need is not a 

181
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,760
feather duster but a 
sledgehammer. 

182
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:56,840
So Jesus's tone here is more 
like a sledgehammer to break 

183
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,640
them open rather than a a 
feather duster. 

184
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:04,880
So even though the rest of the 
Bible, the Old Testament, Jesus 

185
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,160
himself in the account of 
Matthew on this, the New 

186
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:12,440
Testament, they all provide 
biblical grounds for divorce. 

187
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:17,120
They do. 
But Jesus doesn't give hard 

188
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:22,240
hearted men right here in inch, 
right. 

189
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,400
He's not. 
He's going to go play their 

190
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,600
games with them. 
He's not going to give them an 

191
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,840
easy out. 
They're there are no grounds for

192
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,080
divorce for hard hearted men who
just want to throw away their 

193
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,760
wives whenever they feel like 
that, because that was a problem

194
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,560
in Jesus's day. 
Divorce is not like a modern 

195
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,400
phenomenon. 
This was a problem in Jesus's 

196
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,200
day. 
So let me just prove this to us.

197
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,960
This comes from the Mishnah, 
which is not part of the Bible, 

198
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,720
but it was written around 400 BC
up until about the time that 

199
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,960
Jesus was born, give or take a 
few years on both sides. 

200
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,280
And it reflects the common 
religious thinking in Jesus's 

201
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,480
day. 
And with the Mishnah it says is 

202
00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:01,280
you need to listen to this. 
It says, quote, a man may 

203
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:07,640
divorce his wife because he hath
found in her indecency in 

204
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:14,440
anything, even if she spoiled a 
dish End Quote. 

205
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,080
This was the religious thinking 
in Jesus day. 

206
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,960
If she burns the toast, you're 
free bro. 

207
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,000
This is what's polluting the air
in Jesus day, Men were allowed 

208
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,600
to get a divorce because of 
burnt toast. 

209
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,160
And So what Jesus is interested 
in doing right here isn't giving

210
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,240
him an easy out. 
He turns their eyes up, not out 

211
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,760
up to the glory of God. 
Look at verse six. 

212
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,600
Look what God's doing. 
But from the beginning of 

213
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,360
creation, God made them male and
female. 

214
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,200
Therefore a man shall leave his 
father and mother and hold fast 

215
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:56,000
to his wife, and the two shall 
become one flesh. 

216
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,280
So they're no longer 2, but one 
flesh. 

217
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:05,720
That's biblical math for you. 1 
+ 1 equals what one. 

218
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,640
As an English teacher, I love 
it. 

219
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,000
Numbers never do what I want 
them to do. 

220
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,120
I like words. 
What therefore God has joined 

221
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:19,360
together, Let no man separate. 
End Quote So rather than playing

222
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,520
games with Pharisees and giving 
them an out of jail free card, 

223
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,480
he commands them to see what God
is up to in marriage. 

224
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,040
And the thing that God is up to 
in marriage is his. 

225
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,520
He's creating little new 
creations in the world. 

226
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,680
That's what he's up to. 
He He takes 2 old people and 

227
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,360
they come together in marriage 
and they become a new thing by 

228
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,800
the hand of God to somehow 
become one. 

229
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,960
The first time I really pondered
this, I might. 

230
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,880
I might be getting this this 
wrong. 

231
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:48,240
Was Dirk and Emily's wedding. 
Maybe I'm getting this wrong. 

232
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,400
Maybe it was somebody else's 
wedding. 

233
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,240
I remember it as you guys. 
But the the pastor was up there,

234
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,160
and he said something to the 
effect of, all right, Derek and 

235
00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,400
Emily, the two of you are now 
one. 

236
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,760
And so there is no longer any 
Dirk. 

237
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,720
He's dead. 
There is no longer any Emily. 

238
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:11,200
She's dead. 
And in their place now is a new 

239
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:16,240
creation. 
Demily was that. 

240
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,800
That was yours. 
Maybe it was a Merc. 

241
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,320
No, that's the Hebrew version. 
A Merc. 

242
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,880
Dimly. 
Somehow, with the mysterious 

243
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,440
hand of God stirring the pot, 
the two become one. 

244
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,640
And the disciples are like, wow,
that's that's radical. 

245
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,600
I bet he didn't really mean 
that. 

246
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,800
And so when they get into 
private, they ask Jesus, hey, 

247
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,360
can you bring a little bit more 
clarity to that? 

248
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,520
And rather than backpedaling, 
what does Jesus do? 

249
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,600
He double S down with his 
disciples, verse 10. 

250
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:51,480
And in the house, the disciples 
asked him again about this 

251
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,040
matter. 
And he said to them, whoever 

252
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,880
divorces his wife and marries 
another commits adultery against

253
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,960
her. 
And if she divorces her husband 

254
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,720
and marries another, she commits
adultery. 

255
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:06,480
So this is, this is crazy 
because it it sees it, it shows 

256
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,640
us that the reason why the 
disciples are asking about this 

257
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:14,440
matter is probably because 
they're shocked about how 

258
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,320
radical Jesus teachings are 
right here, right? 

259
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,600
It goes against the grain of a 
burnt toast mentality, right? 

260
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,360
They're probably shocked about 
Jesus view of the permanence of 

261
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:24,880
marriage until death breaks the 
bond. 

262
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,960
And that's interesting. 
It's interesting because we 

263
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,200
think that marital problems are 
like a modern thing. 

264
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,360
But even Jesus's disciples were 
shocked by this. 

265
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,720
And in a culture where a man can
divorce his wife over burnt 

266
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:43,720
toast like ours, whose marriage?
Whose view of marriage do you 

267
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,600
really want? 
I think that's really the 

268
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,600
question. 
Whose view of marriage do you 

269
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,600
really want? 
The world's or Jesus's? 

270
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,280
And so here's Speaking of John 
Piper's book on marriage. 

271
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:05,120
Here's a quote from it. 
He says, Quote, There has never 

272
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:13,040
been a generation whose view of 
marriage is too high. 

273
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:19,480
The chasm between Jesus's vision
for marriage and the common 

274
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,840
human vision for marriage is 
gargantuan. 

275
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,880
End Quote. 
And I'm telling you, you want 

276
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:31,800
Jesus's view for marriage, not 
the world's vision for marriage.

277
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,920
Because the more that we begin 
to dig deeply into this text, 

278
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,520
the more that we see that 
Jesus's gargantuan view for 

279
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:41,040
marriage is a joy. 
Yes, though it comes through 

280
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,000
death, but it's also a 
protection. 

281
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:47,000
In particular, Jesus's view for 
marriage protects 3 particular 

282
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,520
groups in his time. 
I'm going to walk us through 

283
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,080
each of these. 
First, Jesus's view of marriage 

284
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:57,680
protects the underprivileged 
spouse particularly, but not 

285
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,160
only particularly women. 
So notice that where the 

286
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,839
emphasis and the accent lands in
the text. 

287
00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:07,960
Look at verses 2 through 4 and 
verse 2. 

288
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,160
Jesus says or sorry, the 
Pharisees say. 

289
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,200
Is it lawful for a man to 
divorce his wife? 

290
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,400
Verse four they say Will Moses 
allowed a man to write a 

291
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,960
certificate of divorce and to 
just send her away. 

292
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,400
So why the emphasis on men 
divorcing their wives in this 

293
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,200
text? 
Because who was doing it in 

294
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,200
Jesus day? 
Who? 

295
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,560
Who did divorces in the ancient 
world? 

296
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,480
Who? 
Who did it favor? 

297
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,600
Who did it benefit? 
And the answer to that is men, 

298
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,720
right? 
In the ancient world, men were 

299
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,880
able to bounce around from woman
to woman as they pleased, 

300
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,320
holding all the power in the 
marriage, particularly the power

301
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,560
to end the marriage over Burke 
toast if they so pleased. 

302
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,800
And this, in an ancient world, 
did not leave a woman with the 

303
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,480
freedom to bounce around from 
man to man. 

304
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:56,080
She was stigmatized, ostracized,
often unable to provide for 

305
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,400
herself, and pushed to the 
margins of society. 

306
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,360
In this culture, the remarriage 
rates for women in that culture 

307
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:05,160
were not zero, but they were a 
lot closer to to 0. 

308
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:09,080
And So what Jesus has in mind 
with this high vision is to 

309
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,160
protect underprivileged spouses.
And it's not just 

310
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,640
underprivileged spouses. 
It's also us, right? 

311
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,120
Because like, it's not just 
burnt toast. 

312
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,440
You don't know what you're going
to look like in 20 years. 

313
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,280
You don't know what diagnosis is
waiting for you in 30 years. 

314
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,720
People change. 
They change. 

315
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,800
And Jesus wants to protect 
people with his vision for 

316
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,920
marriage who have diagnosis like
that. 

317
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,200
And so I'm pleading with you to 
see this, because if you can see

318
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,240
this, then you can see how 
tender, merciful, caring, 

319
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,880
thoughtful and gracious Jesus's 
gargantuan view on marriage is. 

320
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,440
He's protecting people, 
particularly woman, but not 

321
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,280
exclusively from being discarded
at the drop of the hat. 

322
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,400
We could quote the old maxim 
that says a high tide raises all

323
00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:00,640
ships and we could reform that 
and say a high view of marriage.

324
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:06,160
It raises all genders. 
So you want Jesus's gargantuan 

325
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,120
view for marriage, not the 
world's. 

326
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,280
It protects people. 
Secondly, Jesus view of marriage

327
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:17,800
protects vulnerable children. 
Surprisingly, in the ancient 

328
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,400
world, unlike our own world, 
divorce law heavily favored the 

329
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,080
fathers and it wasn't always 
that the children of the divorce

330
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,200
family ended up with the father,
but they usually did. 

331
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,600
In the historical examples we 
have of kids ending up with 

332
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,160
their mothers are definitely the
exception and and not the rule. 

333
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,240
But nevertheless, I think it's 
worth stating that hidden in 

334
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,040
this conversation about divorce 
is Jesus is passionate, 

335
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,640
unbreakable, indefatigable love 
for children. 

336
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,960
It's there. 
I don't think it's any. 

337
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,760
I mean, when we turn to verse 13
next Sunday, what's he talking 

338
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,360
about? 
Kids. 

339
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,800
I don't think that there, 
there's a coincidence there. 

340
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,120
There's one psychologist, and 
this blew my mind. 

341
00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:01,960
One psychologist, after decades 
of research, concluded that the 

342
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,160
best predictor. 
Of adulthood. 

343
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:09,840
Anxiety is growing up in an 
environment where, in formative 

344
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:15,080
years, one has to constantly 
worry about whether or not Dad 

345
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,560
and mom love one another. 
Though they don't have the words

346
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,320
to articulate it, they can't 
articulate it with words. 

347
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,840
They can feel, at a gut level, 
that if something in this 

348
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:28,280
relationship in this marriage 
goes S, they'll get torn in half

349
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,600
by the decisions of where to 
place their loyalty. 

350
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,560
So the foundation goes, and 
since Jesus loves children, 

351
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,920
since he loves children, he's 
the God who fights for 

352
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,840
marriages, there there is no 
difference. 

353
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,560
Categorically, there is no 
difference between fighting for 

354
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,920
marriages and protecting 
children. 

355
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:54,560
So. 
So I guess ironically, that this

356
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,760
is. 
I didn't pick this text for this

357
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,000
morning. 
You know I wasn't like man, what

358
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,120
would be a great way to ruin a 
fun morning of baby dedications?

359
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:09,320
I know, let's preach on divorce.
Really, I didn't think that but 

360
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,760
God did. 
So maybe ironically. 

361
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,600
It's a perfect text for that 
protects children though and and

362
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,840
3rd and most importantly this 
comes through in our text. 

363
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,160
Jesus's view of marriage 
protects the glory of God. 

364
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,600
Notice in this text that when 
Jesus talks about marriage, he 

365
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:30,280
emphasized the active agency and
activity of what God's doing in 

366
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,480
marriage. 
Verse 6. 

367
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,240
God made him male and female. 
Verse nine. 

368
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,080
God joins them together. 
It's God's idea. 

369
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,080
It's God's plan. 
It's God's blueprint. 

370
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,960
And this is because God, being a
brilliant architect, has 

371
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,160
designed marriage to display the
glory of God to the world. 

372
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,120
It's as if the Father, Son and 
and Holy Spirit from all 

373
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:55,880
eternity gathered together and 
said OK, how could people ever 

374
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,760
begin to glimpse how Christ in 
the church can become one? 

375
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,880
It's such a mystery. 
How could the world ever begin 

376
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,280
to glimpse how much God loves 
them? 

377
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,600
How could they fathom that? 
And they said let's make this 

378
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,640
thing called marriage that 
echoes these realities. 

379
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:18,480
That's why God created marriage,
to glorify himself and to show 

380
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,880
the world what his love is like.
I love saying this at the 

381
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,440
weddings that I officiate. 
I love to say build the type of 

382
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,720
marriage that when the world 
looks at IT, people wonder. 

383
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:37,560
Huh. 
The way that he loves her, the 

384
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:42,600
way that she loves him, is that 
the way that God loves us. 

385
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,960
Awesome marriages put the glory 
of God on display to the 

386
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,640
watching world. 
And so I'm just as your pastor, 

387
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,920
I'm urging you to not buy into 
the modern myth that marriage is

388
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,640
some little trinket for personal
happiness that you can throw 

389
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,640
away whenever you get bored of 
it and upgrade to a new iPhone 

390
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,760
whenever it comes out. 
Yes, it's for more than 

391
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,680
glorifying God. 
It's for relational 

392
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,800
satisfaction, sexual 
satisfaction, having kids 

393
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,800
growing old together, enjoying 
inside jokes together, sending 

394
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,240
memes to one another. 
Got you. 

395
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,160
Building memories together, the 
extraordinary joy of aging 

396
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,280
together and looking out at your
grandchildren during the 

397
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,320
holidays. 
It's for all of that. 

398
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,760
But at the bottom of it, it's 
design is to put the glory of 

399
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,040
God on display. 
To put the glory of God on 

400
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,160
display so that the watching 
world rejoices. 

401
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:46,760
And so Satan poops his pants. 
He hates great marriages. 

402
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,280
Jesus loves great marriages. 
And so Jesus wants marriages to 

403
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,360
be awesome. 
And so let me say five things 

404
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:57,000
about marriage. 
I didn't plan on saying that 

405
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,520
part about Satan poop in his 
pants. 

406
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,480
I'm sorry, dude. 
That's going to be the title. 

407
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,760
Kids don't talk like Pastor 
Cole. 

408
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,560
Let me talk to let me talk to 
five different people really 

409
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,800
quickly about awesome marriages.
OK, I'm going to try and blast 

410
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,320
through these quickly first. 
You're going to. 

411
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,440
You're going to fit in one or 
two of these categories. 

412
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:23,200
First, those who are married and
loving their marriage keep it 

413
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,320
up. 
That's all I got for you. 

414
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,360
Second, those married and 
struggling. 

415
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,360
You're not alone. 
We've all been there, and if we 

416
00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:36,680
haven't, we will get there. 
And I know that it's annoying at

417
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,520
best, and probably embittering 
at worst, to hear a message 

418
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,160
about how God desires marriages 
to be awesome while yours is in 

419
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,560
shambles. 
I understand that may embitter 

420
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,000
you and and that's OK. 
It's it's OK to be a little 

421
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,760
bitter towards me right now. 
But if you're going to be bitter

422
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,080
towards me, I only ask one thing
in return from you, and that is 

423
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,680
this. 
No matter what shape your 

424
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:07,560
marriage is in, you must believe
that your marriage can get 

425
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,720
better. 
That's all I ask. 

426
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,200
You don't like what I say this 
morning if you don't agree with 

427
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:20,640
me, all I ask is that you hold 
fast to the belief that your 

428
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,320
marriage can get better. 
OK? 

429
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,320
Don't give up believing that 
your marriage can transform. 

430
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,160
No matter how close your 
marriage is to death. 

431
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:32,480
Don't give up believing that it 
can get better, no matter how 

432
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,320
bad it's gotten. 
There's really just one question

433
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,200
that needs to be asked. 
Do you believe that Jesus was 

434
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,440
raised from the dead? 
The answer to that is yes, you 

435
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,000
do. 
And so your marriage can be 

436
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,800
raised from the dead too. 
It's the pattern of Jesus's 

437
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,960
life. 
It's the pattern of the cosmos 

438
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,680
and creation, and it's the 
pattern of marriage. 

439
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,760
You have to believe that your 
marriage can be raised from the 

440
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,960
dead. 
It's what marriage is. 

441
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,840
Jesus explains that the pattern 
of marriage is 2 old things 

442
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,280
coming together as one new 
thing. 

443
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,840
It's it's Dirk and Emily coming 
together as Demoli. 

444
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,040
They're a new thing that can 
happen at the beginning of the 

445
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,280
marriage and in the middle of 
the marriage. 

446
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,840
Cole and Chloe come together and
work, work. 

447
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:22,040
Coley, who else can I do? 
Carlos and Caitlin come together

448
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:26,040
and they're Carolyn. 
That's not bad. 

449
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:35,480
Carl and Judy Cooley. 
Carl was like, don't say it, 

450
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,280
Catherine and Jaron. 
Karen. 

451
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:49,680
More Jaron than you, Karen, 
Right. 

452
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,480
This is the pattern of marriage,
which is the pattern of 

453
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,000
Christianity. 
Takes an old thing, makes it 

454
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,240
new. 
God takes a dead thing and makes

455
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,480
it alive. 
And he can do it with your 

456
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,000
marriage. 
Don't give up. 

457
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:05,400
Third, let me speak to those who
have been married and who have 

458
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,040
experienced divorce. 
You too are also not alone in 

459
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,720
this church. 
Some of some of the godliest 

460
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,800
Christians I know are men and 
women who have gone through 

461
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,960
divorce and God has been amazing
to them. 

462
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,360
And So what? 
However, the divorce happened, 

463
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,880
if you sinned and irreparably 
broke the marriage, turn to 

464
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,440
Jesus and receive his his 
forgiveness right? 

465
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,720
But some some of you, some of 
you who have experienced 

466
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,640
divorce, you you don't need 
forgiveness for your divorce 

467
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:43,560
because you were abandoned or 
committed, adultery against 

468
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,680
obstinately or physically 
abused. 

469
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:51,760
And Jesus in the Bible has 
included an exception to help 

470
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,000
protect you from the murderous 
hands of a spouse who wants to 

471
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,680
hurt you. 
And you're safe in Jesus arms. 

472
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,760
You are. 
And that's not me being squishy.

473
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,760
It's not me leaning in any 
direction away from the Bible. 

474
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,000
That's in the Bible, right? 
That's me quoting Jesus to you. 

475
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,080
It's in the Old Testament. 
Deuteronomy 24, it's in. 

476
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:15,480
Jesus says that in this account,
in Matthew 5, he includes 

477
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,520
adultery as an exception. 
First Corinthians, Paul says if 

478
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:23,960
the unbelieving partner deserts 
or separates, let it be so. 

479
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,280
In such cases, the brother or 
sister is not enslaved. 

480
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,960
And so when you've been the 
victim of adultery or 

481
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,800
abandonment or physical abuse, 
you should never experience that

482
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:37,480
abuse multiplied by having the 
church pile on additional shame,

483
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,000
because Jesus doesn't do that, 
right? 

484
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,360
What's Jesus do to the woman at 
the well who's been divorced 

485
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,680
five times? 
He welcomes her and he reveals 

486
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,680
himself to it. 
And so when churches don't do 

487
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,040
that, you know who they're not 
being like. 

488
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,320
They're not being like Jesus. 
And again, if you think I'm 

489
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,520
being squishy on this, you need 
to hear me say that you can have

490
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,360
both of these elements present 
in one church. 

491
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,680
You can be a church that's known
for fighting for marriages and 

492
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,160
be a church who's known for not 
stigmatizing those who have 

493
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,960
experienced divorce. 
That's not squishy. 

494
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:14,080
That's being what Jesus is like.
So you're not alone. 

495
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,480
Fourth, let me speak to those 
who are unmarried. 

496
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,760
I think the historical context 
of this passage is really, 

497
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,520
really important. 
The literary context of the 

498
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,360
passage is really important. 
Remember that Jesus giving these

499
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:31,520
instructions for marriage in the
shadow of the cross, right? 

500
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:37,280
He's about to go to his marriage
covenant with his bride and that

501
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,480
covenant is going to begin at a 
cross. 

502
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,600
That's important. 
That should inform the type of 

503
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,000
person you want to marry. 
So when it comes to marriage, 

504
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:49,560
if, if you're unmarried, the 
culture wants to give you a lot 

505
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,080
of weight. 
The culture wants you to give a 

506
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:57,160
lot of weight to compatibility. 
Don't do it. 

507
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,480
Don't give very much weight to 
compatibility. 

508
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,600
It's cool if you guys are 
similar, right? 

509
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,400
Do we like the same hobbies? 
Do we have similar 

510
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,240
personalities? 
Do we have similar interests? 

511
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,280
All those things are great, but 
they're essentially sand. 

512
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,720
They change. 
When a person change, you know, 

513
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,680
you know what changes? 
Hobbies, interests. 

514
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,960
And so if you're not going to 
build it around interests and 

515
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,480
personalities and hobbies, what 
should you build it around? 

516
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,280
And the answer of course is the 
cross. 

517
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:35,160
A way better question then is 
this person compatible with me? 

518
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:40,720
A way better question than that 
is, is this person sacrificial? 

519
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,040
This person get the cross and 
live the cross. 

520
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,640
Because historically, when a 
couple gets married, this stage 

521
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,760
they stand on is called a 
wedding altar. 

522
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,800
It's an altar. 
What's an altar? 

523
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:02,560
It's a place you go to die. 
That's what you're doing when 

524
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,840
you're standing on a wedding 
altar. 

525
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,200
You're dying and you don't want 
to go to the altar with somebody

526
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:14,000
who's not going to die with you.
When you get married, you die in

527
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,080
the mystery of marriage. 
Is that in its place? 

528
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,920
Right. 
Because what happens at an 

529
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,720
altar? 
The animal's killed, but it's 

530
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,840
transformed into a pleasing 
aroma to Jesus. 

531
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,960
Jesus is killed on the cross, 
but he's resurrected. 

532
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:31,000
So the mystery of the wedding 
altar is you die, but in your 

533
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,800
place, a new and more beautiful 
thing is resurrected. 

534
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:39,360
Because, like, I promise you, 
you know who's way better than 

535
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:47,840
Cole Coley without her. 
It's just it's just better and 

536
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,160
so. 
One of the most important 

537
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,840
pastoral pieces of wisdom I can 
give to you, and this applies to

538
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,960
the unmarried and the married, 
is this. 

539
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,720
Our church has a lot of 
imperfect but awesome marriages 

540
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,440
in it, and so my biggest piece 
of encouragement would be when 

541
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,560
you notice those marriages. 
And when you see those 

542
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:09,160
marriages, ask the question, 
dude, I notice your marriage is 

543
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,720
awesome. 
How do you do that? 

544
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,000
Just try that question out, 
sister. 

545
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,960
I noticed you have a healthy 
marriage in a world where 

546
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,400
there's not a lot of healthy 
marriages. 

547
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,720
How'd you do that, girlfriend? 
Just ask people that question. 

548
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,520
How do you How'd you do that? 
There's great marriages all all 

549
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,320
around. 
You ask them and when they 

550
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,680
respond. 
Don't turn your nose. 

551
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:35,240
Up at their response. 
No matter how. 

552
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,080
Cliche you think it is. 
There's not a lot of joyful 

553
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,840
marriages in the world, so 
listen to them. 

554
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,600
There's not a lot of. 
Joyful marriages in the world. 

555
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,520
But there can be. 
Because Jesus is real. 

556
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,440
Amen and. 
He's on the move. 

557
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,560
And he wants to make awesome 
marriages. 

558
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,840
And so about a decade ago, I 
read that essay about the truck 

559
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:04,280
accident for the first time. 
And ever since that moment where

560
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:08,000
I read that, it's just been so 
profoundly engraved into my 

561
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,720
memory. 
Something about the visual, 

562
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,680
Something about the truck wheel.
Snapping off. 

563
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:23,480
It's just so powerful. 
Quote We stopped our car and ran

564
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,720
down the hillside. 
We ran to the children doing 

565
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,520
what we could do. 
It's just a mess. 

566
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,240
All them are unconscious. 
The mother had broken her leg 

567
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,920
and pelvis. 
She was crawling on her belly to

568
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,800
each child and we couldn't 
prevent her. 

569
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,680
But the father was in the best 
shape of anyone, and he stayed 

570
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,880
in the truck. 
This scene is forever. 

571
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,600
Engraved in my mind because it 
says something to me about the 

572
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,840
men of our country. 
The children and women are lying

573
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:56,000
wounded, strewn throughout our 
cities. 

574
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,040
And the father, and in some 
cases the mother, if she's in 

575
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:08,199
the truck too, father needs to 
get out of the truck, I think 

576
00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:11,520
one of the reasons why. 
This story. 

577
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,960
Moves me is because I see my own
failures. 

578
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,480
I think 1. 
Of the reasons why this story 

579
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:23,520
moves me is because I do deeply 
want to be part of a church 

580
00:34:24,159 --> 00:34:28,639
where men get out of the truck. 
When things get hard in the 

581
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:30,800
marriage, they stay and don't 
run away. 

582
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,600
When something gets broken, they
fix it and fight for it. 

583
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,120
When they want a way. 
Out. 

584
00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:43,040
They look for a way in. 
I do think it's that. 

585
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,239
I do think it's that I want to 
be a part of a church where 

586
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,719
people get out of the truck and 
start picking up the wreckage 

587
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:52,320
together. 
But I think, more than that, at 

588
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,040
the deepest level, why the story
moves me. 

589
00:34:58,480 --> 00:34:59,920
Is because I know the. 
Gospel. 

590
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:07,520
So when I hear that story, I 
think and I know Jesus got out 

591
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:13,400
of the truck. 
That's the gospel when the. 

592
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,920
World was destroyed by. 
Sin and you and I were thrown 

593
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,600
about the hillside, hopeless and
helpless. 

594
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,720
Jesus didn't stay in the truck. 
Jesus didn't stay in heaven. 

595
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:28,480
He put on flesh. 
He came from heaven and he 

596
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,480
rescued us. 
He died on a cross. 

597
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,360
He took away our sins. 
He covenanted us with us as a 

598
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:37,680
husband does with the bride. 
Jesus got out of the truck. 

599
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:43,000
That's the gospel You. 
You're no longer the wreckage 

600
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,880
that he found you in. 
You aren't the wreckage of your 

601
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,320
sin. 
You're not the wreckage of your 

602
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,200
divorce. 
You're not the wreckage of your 

603
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,800
failures. 
You're not wreckage. 

604
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,840
You're redeemed. 
You're forgiven made. 

605
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,520
Righteous declared holy, clothed
in a white robe. 

606
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,040
Beloved, you stand before him, 
perfect in his sight. 

607
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,240
And when we constantly screw up 
the relationship and break off 

608
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:07,840
the wheel and fail him, you know
what he does? 

609
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,160
He gets out of the truck again. 
The reason why Jesus is so 

610
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,960
qualified to talk about this is 
because he lives it, bro. 

611
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,040
Jesus did not send you away with
a divorce certificate. 

612
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,560
He did not seek an easy way out,
and thank God Jesus didn't think

613
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,320
that the grass was greener on 
the other side or as he would 

614
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,040
have gone. 
Instead, he holds us fast 

615
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:31,400
because He knows the grass isn't
greener on the other side. 

616
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,040
The grass is green. 
It's where you water it. 

617
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,600
So He sticks with us and He 
waters us so that slowly, 

618
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,600
pouring his spirit upon us daily
and consistently in his covenant

619
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:47,720
with us, our lives begin to 
slowly bear the fruit of the 

620
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:51,040
Spirit. 
And this is This is why, when 

621
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:56,120
you stand on the wedding altar 
with Him in eternity, what do 

622
00:36:56,120 --> 00:37:00,440
you get? 
You get a new name just like 

623
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:05,320
Demoli and coldly. 
Jesus got out of the. 

624
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,280
Truck Amen. 
And that's what makes him the 

625
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,160
most qualified person to talk on
marriage. 

626
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,400
So let's pray. 
And then? 

627
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,760
Let's have a blast with. 
Baby Dedications Heavenly 

628
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,200
Father, thank you for your 
goodness. 

629
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,280
Thank you for your goodness in 
protecting marriages. 

630
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:26,040
Thank you for your goodness in 
protecting those who have been 

631
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,640
wounded deeply in their 
marriages. 

632
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,640
And thank you for protecting 
those who had to go through a 

633
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,760
difficult divorce. 
You love all those groups of 

634
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,080
people. 
And like a commentator once 

635
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,040
wrote on this text, there is no 
instance of a person in the 

636
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,400
Bible ever coming to Jesus 
asking for forgiveness and not 

637
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:50,760
receiving it. 
And so, yeah, marriages should 

638
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,400
be awesome. 
Yes, we should strive for that. 

639
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:57,440
Yes, we should seek to. 
Not let anything break. 

640
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:02,080
The bond besides death itself. 
But in all of these things may 

641
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:06,200
we remember that we are beloved 
by you and forgiven by you and 

642
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,400
treasured by you. 
Treasured not just dealt with, 

643
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:15,400
but you look down at us, and you
are in love with us. 

644
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,520
And so I pray that we feel that,
know that, and believe that this

645
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,360
morning in the precious name of 
Jesus we pray. 

646
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:21,360
Amen.