1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,200 Good morning. It's good to see you guys. 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,320 If we haven't met, my name is Cole. 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:10,640 I'm league pastor here, and we are on week 7:00-ish in our long 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,600 sermon series through the book of Titus. 5 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,640 We're particularly in chapter 2. We're looking at verses 3 6 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,680 through 5. If you haven't made the last 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,920 couple weeks, I'll catch you up. Essentially, we've met who Titus 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,160 is, this guy who's the recipient of the letter. 9 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,720 We met who Paul is, the guy who's writing it, inspired by 10 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,240 the Holy Spirit. We've met these small churches 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,760 on the island of Crete that this is going towards. 12 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,440 And after introductions, Paul says, hey, here's how you build 13 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,680 a church. That's why we're calling this 14 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,040 sermon series How to Be a Church. 15 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,720 And Paul says, here's what you got to do. 16 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,480 You got to find elders, train, then develop them, look out for 17 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,280 wolves, have good doctrine. And now all of a sudden in 18 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:52,200 chapter 2, he pivots and what he does in chapter 2 is he starts 19 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,800 pointing, He starts, he starts looking around these churches 20 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,480 and pointing at individual groups and saying, hey, X do 21 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,240 this. Why do this? 22 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,720 So last week was older men do this. 23 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:09,520 And this week he pivots and he looks out at the older women in 24 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:15,520 the church and he says older women invest in, teach, train 25 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,440 the younger women. And so I'm in a little bit of a 26 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,800 predicament here where I am preaching A sermon that's 27 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,760 probably aimed for roughly 1% of our church. 28 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,560 But the reason why we're preaching it is because it's 29 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,280 God's word, right? This is, it's actually like, 30 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,800 it's actually a great test whether or not you're willing to 31 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,080 preach on texts like these, right? 32 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,120 Because we believe that all of God's word is profitable. 33 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,920 Amen. And so even if you are not an 34 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,280 older woman, there is something in this for you. 35 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,960 I got, I got to be honest. So I, I'm actually excited to 36 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,280 preach this sermon now. Earlier in the week I was like, 37 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,080 oh gosh, what am I even going to say? 38 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,640 Because you can probably tell I'm not an older woman. 39 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,600 So I'm speaking into an experience that has foreign for 40 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,400 me. And the thing, the other thing I 41 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,720 did wrong was I went back this week and this put me in a funk. 42 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,840 I should not have done this, but I went back and I watched the 43 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,840 Office episode, Women's support Group. 44 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,800 Do you guys see that one? It's, it's, it's, it did not put 45 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,640 me in the right mindset because like essentially it's Women's 46 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:28,760 support day and Michael, wrongly so Jam is leading the women's 47 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,360 support group, which makes sense. 48 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,680 And then Michael cannot stand it. 49 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,480 And so he tries to hijack it, and he tries to start leading 50 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,000 the women's support group. And I was like, oh, gosh, I 51 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,960 don't want to be that guy. Because at one point in time, 52 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,640 Jim says to Michael, Michael, what do you think? 53 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,920 What makes you think you're qualified to lead this group of 54 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,720 women? And Michael goes, oh, I don't 55 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,000 know, James, was I not born of a woman? 56 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,480 And I was like, oh gosh, I don't want to be that guy. 57 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,560 But fortunately, Chloe was super helpful. 58 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,680 She reminded me that my qualifications to preach this 59 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,320 text and into the lives of the women in our church is that I'm 60 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,120 a pastor who preaches God's Word and loves you. 61 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:18,800 So I hope it lands that way. And even though Paul is singling 62 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:24,440 out older women, fellas, there is something in this for you, 63 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,600 there are actually very few things I'm going to say that are 64 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,200 not translatable to you becoming a spiritual father. 65 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,040 So I'm going to pray. Then we'll jump into it. 66 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:37,360 Heavenly Father, I pray that you would open up your word. 67 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,320 I pray that you would make it come to life for us. 68 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:52,640 May it not just be text on a page, ink on a page, but breathe 69 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:57,000 life into it, Lord, and make it come to life so that it can stir 70 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,080 us and encourage us and exhort us and comfort us. 71 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,280 And I pray that no matter what season people are in out there, 72 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:12,680 I pray that these next 35 minutes we meet with God. 73 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,839 I, I am not qualified to speak into the experience of older 74 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:25,640 women, but God, you are. And so speak through me this 75 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,040 morning. It's in the precious name of 76 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,960 Jesus that all God's people prayed. 77 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,120 Amen. They say They say that a 78 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:38,560 father's hug brings courage and a mother's hug brings comfort. 79 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:43,600 Now, obviously fathers can be comforting and mothers can also 80 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,160 be courageous. But I think there is something 81 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,040 to that statement, and I think it's generally true. 82 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:55,480 A father's hug brings courage and a mother's hug brings 83 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,440 comfort. And it's not just the family 84 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,840 system that needs both of those hugs. 85 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,080 The church itself also needs both of those hugs. 86 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,320 And So what Paul is going to do is he's going to look at this 87 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:14,000 people group in his local church and say, older women, we need 88 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,920 you. And particularly what Paul's 89 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:21,120 going to do is he's going to give these women a vision of 90 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:26,000 womanhood that wins the world to Jesus. 91 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,960 If I had to pick a sermon titled, that would be my title 92 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:33,000 for this morning, Womanhood that wins the world. 93 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,160 If you're able, let's go ahead and stand. 94 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,160 And he says to the older women, he says older women likewise are 95 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,080 to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much 96 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,720 wine. They are to teach what is good 97 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:02,320 and so train the young women to love their husbands and 98 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,040 children, to be self controlled, to be pure, to be working at 99 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,720 home, to be kind and submissive to their own husbands. 100 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:16,240 That the word of God may not be reviled. 101 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,440 Womanhood that wins the world. You guys can have a seat. 102 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,640 So this is a beautiful, beautiful text straight from the 103 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,960 mouth of God for our growth and our walk with Jesus. 104 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,200 A quick introductory note, and then we'll work our way through 105 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,880 this text verse by verse. Why? 106 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,240 Here's the quick note. Why is Paul singling out the 107 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,880 older women in these verses? The answer to that question is 108 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,840 easy. The reason why he's making these 109 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,600 demands on the women of the church is because Paul knows 110 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,880 something important. He knows that women are one of 111 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,280 the most important resources in the church. 112 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,640 We need women in the church. Amen. 113 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:05,680 And to to not identify them, invest in them, train them, or 114 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,840 equip women is a massive strategic mistake. 115 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,880 So the church that leaves the spiritual capacity of women on 116 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,680 tap is quite frankly an idiotic church. 117 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:21,880 So Paul says, hey, older women in the church, we need you big 118 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,120 time. Specifically look at verse 3 how 119 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:32,760 he says older women, we need you to be reverent in behavior, not 120 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,400 slanderers or slaves to much wine. 121 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,320 Paul's right there really quickly. 122 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,720 John Calvin 500 years ago, he's got a gorgeous sentiment that 123 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,080 really just lit this whole text up for me. 124 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:48,720 He said by calling these women reverent, he means that their 125 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:56,920 whole life should be a visible sanctuary of godliness. 126 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,680 You know when you see a sanctuary that you look at it 127 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,240 and it's just this massive, gorgeous piece of architecture 128 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,520 that inspires awe. And you Calvin is saying, Calvin 129 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,920 is saying by calling them reverend, he means that the 130 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,320 women, their, their lives should be a visible sanctuary of 131 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:18,480 godliness so that their presence may inspire reverence from the 132 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,600 younger women. So Paul wants the lives of the 133 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,880 older women in the church to be this visible sanctuary so that 134 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,640 the little girls in the church, the the single women, the young 135 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,160 married mom, they all look at the older women and they see a 136 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,080 life that looks like a beautiful cathedral. 137 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:39,799 Wow, look at that right there. It's like their their speech is 138 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,400 like the stained glass from a cathedral. 139 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,520 They're the the, the character of these older women's life. 140 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,800 It's like this facade of a giant stone cathedral. 141 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,760 Like a cathedral, it just takes your breath away. 142 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,200 And like a cathedral, this type of life requires an 143 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,800 extraordinary amount of effort and artistry. 144 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:08,680 You will not women you you will not drift aimlessly into this 145 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:11,520 lifestyle. It requires effort and energy. 146 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,640 And so Paul starts to unpack that a little bit. 147 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,880 He says specifically don't be slanderers. 148 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,240 The original Greek word for slanderers there it literally 149 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,840 means devil talk. So engaging in slander behind 150 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:26,040 the backs of church members is literally devil talk. 151 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,680 He says don't do that. He says, don't be slaves to to 152 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,160 much wine. Enjoy it, but do not make it 153 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,480 into an idol. So Paul unpacks the character 154 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,880 and the lives of these older women and then he pivots and he 155 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,040 gives them a mission. Why? 156 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,560 Because Paul knows something really, really important. 157 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,840 It's the same thing that Rosaria Butterfield knows. 158 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,800 Here's the way that Rosaria Butterfield says it. 159 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,800 This is so important. She says, quote, this is good. 160 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:59,440 What single women need are not more single women. 161 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,760 What young families need are not more young families. 162 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,000 She even goes on to argue that relationships that are only 163 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:14,800 organized by a sociological category actually weaken the 164 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,040 relationships across differences in the church. 165 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:23,520 In other words, Paul knows that our greatest need is for people 166 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,960 who aren't like us, like your greatest need in the church. 167 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,120 I hope you have friends and peers in this church. 168 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,000 Peers are not your greatest need though, right? 169 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,960 If you're a young man, bro, you need an older dude in your life. 170 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:43,720 Young women, you need a spiritual mom in your life, 171 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,920 somebody who's a step ahead of you, that can speak into it and 172 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,720 teach you and train you. And so Paul knows this. 173 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:55,360 And so he says, hey, older women, invest, invest, invest, 174 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,040 invest in the next generation of women. 175 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:02,360 How specifically? Look at the end of verse three. 176 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:08,080 He says they are to teach what is good. 177 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:14,880 Everybody say teach verse 4. And so train the young women. 178 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,520 Everybody say train, teach the next generation. 179 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,200 Train the next generation to do what? 180 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,360 Verses 4 through 5 get your eyeballs on God's word. 181 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:29,080 This is not me. Teach and train the young woman, 182 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:34,040 verses 4 through 5, to love their husbands and to love their 183 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,320 children and to be self controlled and to be pure and to 184 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:41,160 be working at home and to be kind and submissive to their own 185 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,640 husbands. Now some of these are pretty 186 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,000 self-explanatory, right? Self controlled, pure kind. 187 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,680 Essentially, those are just big categories that may hey, hey, 188 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,200 teach and train the next generation of women to be like 189 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,880 Jesus. So I'm not going to unpack every 190 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,640 word in here. What I would prefer to do is 191 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,840 poke at the hot topics. So what we're going to do is 192 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,160 we're going to talk about the hot topics, the ones that made 193 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,240 you buckle up when when you read them. 194 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,960 So, so let's talk about, well, let's just talk about the big 195 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:12,080 one like is Paul, hold on a second, is Paul Cole teach the 196 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,800 young women to be working at home? 197 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,240 Is Paul saying, you're thinking this, aren't you? 198 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,720 Am I in Like there's just like there's an elephant in the room, 199 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,680 right? I'm not like dragging some 200 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,280 random elephant into the room and being like, hey, should we 201 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,720 talk about that? Like, you're all feeling this, 202 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,920 right? So there's this elephant in the 203 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,040 room, right? Like is Paul saying that women 204 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:38,280 can't work outside of the home? Let's consult the actual text. 205 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:43,040 What does Paul say? What does the actual text say? 206 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,480 The actual text says teach and train the young woman to quote, 207 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:55,320 be working at home. How dare, how dare he say that 208 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,800 women can't work outside the home. 209 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:01,800 Well, chill, because he didn't say that, did he? 210 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:06,080 He didn't say that. What he said is younger women 211 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:10,320 need to learn from older women how to be working at home. 212 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,400 He's saying this because the younger women need help 213 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,800 specifically in learning how to work inside the home because 214 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,320 that's the area of their lives that requires the most 215 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,920 instruction and help. Of course, women should be 216 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,760 celebrated in our church if they want to work outside the home. 217 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,480 The woman in Proverbs 31, which is like, you hear about this all 218 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,760 the time, The Proverbs 31 woman, right? 219 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,560 The ideal woman in the Old Testament, I don't know if 220 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,120 you've ever read that text closely. 221 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,760 She actually does work outside of the home, though. 222 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:42,200 Proverbs 31 verse 13, she seeks wool and flax and works with 223 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,120 willing hands. That's work in the public 224 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,120 marketplace. Verse 16, she considers and buys 225 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,320 a field. So this is clearly not a 226 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,560 prohibition for women to not be able to have the freedom to work 227 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,560 outside of the home. I'm, I'm poking into this right 228 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:59,480 now, not just because there's an elephant in the room, but also 229 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,720 this is one of the areas where the church historically has 230 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,480 tried to to grossly overreach too much. 231 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,320 It's what I need you to know is that if you are a woman who 232 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,600 you're a stay at home full time homemaker, we're going to 233 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,120 celebrate you. If you're a woman who works 234 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,160 outside of the home, we're going to celebrate you here. 235 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,720 Specifically, the way that John Stop, probably one of the best 236 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:26,240 theologians of the 20th century, says, he says, quote, Paul is 237 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:30,160 not confining women to the home as if he was forbidding them to 238 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,600 have any wider ministry or employment. 239 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:37,760 Rather, he is emphasizing that the home is not to be despised 240 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:41,880 as a sphere of service, for it is there that love is best 241 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,520 expressed and character is best formed. 242 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,520 Am I being clear here? Let me say, let me say it one 243 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,680 more time, just in case. Our church will never, never, 244 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,960 never, never discourage women from working outside of the 245 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,200 home. And we will never, never, never, 246 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,120 never discourage women from being full time homemakers. 247 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,160 There's just a lot of freedom in it. 248 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:06,400 Like our let me say it this way, our church would not exist if we 249 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,760 didn't have some women working outside of the home. 250 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,440 You want to know how I know this? 251 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,040 Because for the first couple of years of this church's life, you 252 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,680 guys didn't have a lot of money to pay me and I and I had to 253 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,680 give 50 hours a week to building and and leading this church in 254 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,720 those first couple of years. Do you know how I did that? 255 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,520 You know how I could make very little money but continue to 256 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,360 give 40 or 50 hours during those couple years? 257 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:32,800 Because Chloe was my sugar Mama. She worked outside of the home. 258 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,400 Call me a gold digger, right? Because she worked outside of 259 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,040 the home. Without that, I wouldn't have 260 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,320 been able to give those 40 or 50 hours a week for those first 261 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,960 couple years to to Frontier Church. 262 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,680 And so we're just going to support you no matter what, but 263 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:51,480 make sure at the very least what Paul is saying is that make sure 264 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,880 that the time you do have within the home gets the best of your 265 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,480 attention and the best of your effort and energy in your heart 266 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,960 so that your kids and your husband don't get the leftovers 267 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:08,920 of your heart. And that's, that's hard, right? 268 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,040 That's hard. And if you're a single woman or 269 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:17,920 a young woman, you, you need help learning how to do that. 270 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,080 It's a learned skill. Like just take the two things 271 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,480 that Paul points out in verse four. 272 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:27,320 Look at verse four. He says, teach and train the 273 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:32,240 young women to #1 love their husbands and #2 love their 274 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,480 children. Both of these points are 275 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,320 brutally hard. Let's do them one at a time. 276 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,640 First, teach the younger women to love their husbands. 277 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:45,280 Women, you notice that you need, you need to be taught to love 278 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,200 your husbands. Fellas, this is true for you 279 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,680 too. But this goes against it. 280 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,840 Like it cuts against the grain of this modern culture. 281 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,400 Everything about modern culture has taught you to believe that 282 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,440 it should come super easily. And if it doesn't come easily, 283 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,640 holy crap. Oh my gosh, something is wrong. 284 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,560 That's not what Paul is saying. Paul is saying it's a learned 285 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,359 skill. Why? 286 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:10,280 Because if you're a wife, if you do live with a, a male human 287 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,800 being, you know that living with your husband is like, it is like 288 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,920 living with a, a creature of a different species. 289 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,720 It is. It's like living like, like, 290 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,040 it's like there's a wild animal in the house. 291 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,000 It's a creature of a different species. 292 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,480 Personally, I've learned a lot of things about myself that I 293 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,800 didn't know before I was married. 294 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,880 Like, for instance, I'm a very loud chewer. 295 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:38,480 I chew my food very loudly. I even walk very loudly for a 296 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,320 little guy. Loud chewer, a loud Walker. 297 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,320 And Chloe, you're not going to be able to Unsee that, are you? 298 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:50,880 And Chloe has had to learn the skill of loving me even in the 299 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,760 midst of those and a lot of other stuff that's hard. 300 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,920 Here's the way one one female writer says it. 301 00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:01,560 She says, quote. She says, quote, living with a 302 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:07,200 man is like sharing your life with a bear that's been taught a 303 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:14,320 few tricks. He can drive a car like a bear 304 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,000 that's been taught a few tricks. He can drive a car. 305 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:22,440 He can go to work and maybe he can even BBQ, but then he'll 306 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,160 turn around and drink milk straight from the carton and 307 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,960 look at you like you're the crazy one for not understanding 308 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,800 why. That's fine. 309 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,600 He's civilized just enough to survive in public, but at home 310 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,120 he reverts back to the wilderness. 311 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,600 A bear that spits on a few tricks. 312 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,200 Look, here's what's at the bottom of this. 313 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,320 It is why I'm poking into this. What's at the bottom of this? 314 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:53,160 Is that the culture your favorite Disney movies? 315 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,680 I like Disney movies too. Pop music. 316 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,880 I like some of the music on the on the radio too. 317 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:09,000 But everything in culture has designed, particularly women, to 318 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,000 think that marriage is about compatibility. 319 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,280 It's like, dear Jesus, help me when I say this dead wrong. 320 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,920 Marriage is not about compatibility. 321 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:29,200 I'm not anti compatibility. I think it's great if you and 322 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,080 your husband have similar hobbies. 323 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,880 That's wonderful. If you guys enjoyed the same 324 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,920 music and you like the same board games and you like the 325 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,480 same movies, honestly, I think that's great. 326 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,040 I'm not anti compatible compatibility. 327 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,800 What I'm saying is that in the mind of God, his idea of 328 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:48,320 marriage was not built around compatibility. 329 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,400 It's not about compatibility. It's not. 330 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:57,120 God's design for marriage was not to put two similar people 331 00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,200 together into a peer relationship that also just 332 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,160 conveniently happens to be sexual. 333 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,400 That's not God's vision for marriage. 334 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:13,760 No, God's vision for marriage was to put two people together. 335 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:19,600 In such a way that in the way that the husband loves the wife 336 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,080 and the wife loves the husband, the watching world looks at it 337 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:28,880 and they see the gospel. That's how God designed 338 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,640 marriage. Paul's clear about this in 339 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,640 Ephesians 5. It's so the world can see what 340 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:41,120 the gospel looks like and so God's designed for marriage is 341 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:44,240 not built around compatibility. Let me say it as strongly as I 342 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,360 can. The church, you and me, The 343 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:52,240 church would go to hell if Jesus cared about compatibility. 344 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:58,600 You understand what I'm saying? The church would be in hell if 345 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,640 Jesus cared about compatibility. Jesus is not compatible with the 346 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,600 church. He's holy, she's not. 347 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,000 He's perfect. She's not. 348 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:15,200 He's God, she's not. The church and Jesus are 349 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,400 incompatible. So what makes the relationship 350 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,440 work? It's not shared hobbies. 351 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,680 It's not similar personalities. It's not compatibility. 352 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,640 What makes the relationship between Jesus and the church 353 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,280 work if not compatibility? What's the answer to that? 354 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,960 The cross. That's what makes the 355 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,600 relationship work is Jesus sacrificing himself on the cross 356 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,000 for the church. That means that marriages are 357 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:49,840 held together by 1,000,000. Little deaths of sacrifice, not 358 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,920 compatibility. And so it needs to be taught and 359 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,360 trained both to the husbands and to the wives. 360 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:58,280 You just can't get around this in this text. 361 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:02,720 Like look at verse 5, he this is a continuation of Pauls thought 362 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,720 of teaching the young women to love their husbands. 363 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,360 He goes on to say at the end of verse 5 that you need to train 364 00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,920 women to be quote, submissive to their own husbands. 365 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,920 And anytime we touch on this word submission, I, I always 366 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,760 have to say this because there's been an all out campaign waged 367 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,440 against the word submission. It has historically and always 368 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,760 been a beautiful word, but recently it's been spoiled by 369 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,080 the wider culture. So I always need to say this. 370 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,800 The word submission here does not imply inferiority. 371 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,600 It cannot because God the Son, Jesus himself submits to God the 372 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:41,520 Father and Jesus and the Father are of equal worth and dignity 373 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,560 and value. And so it cannot, cannot, cannot 374 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,720 imply inferiority. It can't. 375 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,320 It doesn't apply if you're already, and it certainly does 376 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,800 not encourage women to be thoughtless doormats in their 377 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,680 marriages and at the same point in time, it also doesn't mean 378 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,840 nothing. So it doesn't mean what the 379 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,560 culture wants you to think it means, but it doesn't mean 380 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,560 nothing. And so biblically, when you look 381 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:13,560 at it, what the word submission means is it calls forth bright, 382 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,400 intelligent, thoughtful, courageous wives to cultivate 383 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:21,360 the learned skill of celebrating their husband's leadership in 384 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,080 the family. And look, there are no easy job 385 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,720 descriptions for marriage in the Bible, right? 386 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,600 Because you're like, oh man, did did Paul just say that women 387 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,400 need to celebrate their husband's leadership? 388 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,480 That sounds hard, but what's what's the husband's job 389 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,040 description? Look at Ephesians 5. 390 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,440 He gives husbands the job description of leading the 391 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:45,880 family by dying to himself as Christ died for the church. 392 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:51,120 That's tough too. So Paul gives wives the job 393 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,520 description of celebrating that leadership. 394 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,600 How do you develop that skill? Titus 2 tells us that it needs 395 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,720 to be taught. So I would start here. 396 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,160 If you're a younger woman, I even think if you're a single 397 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,000 woman, this is a great question to ask somebody. 398 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,800 They don't have to be an older woman. 399 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,440 Even if they're one or two steps ahead of you in life. 400 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,600 I guarantee you it would be helpful to say, hey, can I grab 401 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,480 coffee for you? I'm just curious, how do you 402 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,240 encourage and celebrate your husband's leadership? 403 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,400 Like, I can't imagine that your marriage wouldn't get better if 404 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:33,120 you asked that question. It's a beautiful question, but 405 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,760 marriage in a good marriage needs to be trained and and 406 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,400 taught. Here's here's the way Tim Keller 407 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,120 says it. This is so good. 408 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:45,400 Keller says. As a pastor, I have spoken to 409 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,120 thousands of couples and I've heard them say over and over, 410 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,760 love shouldn't be this hard. It should come naturally. 411 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,320 In response to that, I usually say something like, why would 412 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,200 you believe that? Would someone who wants to play 413 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,200 baseball, professional baseball, say it shouldn't be so hard to 414 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,560 hit a fastball with someone who wants to write the greatest 415 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,440 American novel of her generation? 416 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,320 Say it shouldn't be hard to create a compelling narrative. 417 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:17,440 Of course, the answer is no. Of course we would ask so those 418 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:22,360 questions, And so why would we assume that loving your spouse 419 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:26,200 would just come naturally? Loving your spouses, like Keller 420 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:31,720 says here, is like writing a breathtaking novel work 421 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,360 technique. It's like mastering a complex 422 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,760 sport. It's a skill that needs to be 423 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,040 learned, that results in a joy that you can't even imagine. 424 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,440 Training young women to love their husbands. 425 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,200 And what's the second thing he says? 426 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:53,200 He says and train them to love their children again. 427 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,080 I just can't imagine that you would not be edified and built 428 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,400 up if you found a woman in our church who was one step ahead of 429 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,280 you in life and said, hey, can I buy you a cup of coffee? 430 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,280 And just ask, like, how in the world do you love your children? 431 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:10,080 I have these rabid animals in my house that I call my children. 432 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:15,080 How do you love these creatures? I think that's the secret to 433 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,480 developing these relationships of one generation to the other 434 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,000 generation. You don't know what the main 435 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,560 barrier is to women investing in women. 436 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:29,360 Personally, with all of my experience, I think it's the 437 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:34,160 generational divide. The generational divide, there's 438 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,840 a divide between the younger and older generation of believers 439 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,080 that's totally new. Throughout human history, this 440 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,480 divide did not exist. Younger generations always 441 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,000 admired and looked up to and wanted to be like the older 442 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,920 generations. But there's an assumption that 443 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,120 is formed in the modern world and you see it in movies. 444 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,840 So what movies do is they portrayed the younger generation 445 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,480 as the object of the older generations criticism. 446 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,920 The young, those young people, they just don't get it. 447 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,480 World's going to hell in a handbasket because of the 448 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,840 millennials. And on the flip side, movies 449 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:10,000 portray the older generations as unwanted by the younger 450 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,880 generation because they're out of touch. 451 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,680 So that's the assumption that forms the generation gap. 452 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,520 The gap older generations feel unwanted by younger generations, 453 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,320 younger generations feel criticized by older generations, 454 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,040 and that creates a gap. And I'm telling you as a human 455 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,000 being who talks with people for my job, I'm telling you the 456 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,280 generational divide is an illusion. 457 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:40,560 It's not real, it doesn't exist, right? 458 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,920 The older Christians I know are psyched about the younger 459 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,320 Christians and optimistic about the next generation of 460 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,840 Christians. The young Christians I know, 461 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:55,400 they ache to have an older believer in their lives who 462 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,640 looks at them and says, hey, let me teach you and train you. 463 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:06,080 It the the generational gap is made-up and we need to learn how 464 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,360 to cross it. Another barrier. 465 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,160 Chloe was really helpful in this one too. 466 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,880 Chloe also was talking about, and I noticed this in myself, 467 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,480 she was, she was talking about how when she experienced 468 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,360 something in life, a lot of times her first impulse in the 469 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:24,240 post modern world is to run to a social media influencer. 470 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,280 That's totally natural. Like I, I do the same thing. 471 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,800 Like when I'm struggling, I'll be like, OK, what, what does 472 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,600 John Piper say about this? What's what's the problem here? 473 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,680 The problem is you can have your online people that you you 474 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,800 really like, but the problem is when this becomes a major 475 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,160 obstacle. It this becomes a major obstacle 476 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:48,200 when we replace church members with online influencers. 477 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:54,120 Does that make sense? Like, I think too many young 478 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,520 women bump into a problem in life and they think, I wonder 479 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,080 what my favorite Instagram account thinks about this rather 480 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,800 than reaching out to another woman in the church who actually 481 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:05,640 knows her and actually loves her. 482 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,800 And there are a lot of brilliant female Christian voices in the 483 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,560 Internet sphere. So I totally get it. 484 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,480 Like Rosaria Butterfield, she's a living genius. 485 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,800 Jen Wilkin is a fan favorite at Frontier Church. 486 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,520 I know. So there's lots of great online 487 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,000 people. The problem is it, I think it's 488 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,960 foolish to think, what does Jen Wilkin have to say about this 489 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:33,280 thing when you have Judy Maxwell and Sheila Young in the church. 490 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,160 Have you guys ever talked with those two women? 491 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:40,600 They are unbelievable, right? I was talking to Judy all week 492 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,440 this week. I was actually, I was telling 493 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,600 our volunteers, I didn't know how to start the conversation. 494 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:50,000 I was like, hey, Judy, I'm preaching on this text about 495 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,160 older women investing in younger women. 496 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,600 Now, I I know you are, you're a young woman, Judy. 497 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,400 Like, what do you say, right? But if you happen to be an older 498 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,960 woman, how would you invest in the next day? 499 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,320 And she was like, call, stop. She was like, look, I have 500 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,440 earned the right to be called an older woman. 501 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,960 I was like, thank you, thank you. 502 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,040 But don't don't look to an online influencer who might say 503 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:22,200 true things when you have people like that in the church who can 504 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:29,760 look at your soul and say I see a fantastic woman and you, I see 505 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,600 a fantastic mother. I see a fantastic wife. 506 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:37,320 I see a fantastic leader in you. That is I'm telling you that is 507 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,320 irreplaceable. The church, it needs women 508 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,680 investing in women. We need that. 509 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:51,480 The church needs the voices that women uniquely bring to the 510 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:58,000 Church of Jesus. God, God didn't create Eve 511 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:03,680 because Adam was lonely. Like, well, hold on a second, 512 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,160 Cole, but the text says it's not good for man to be alone. 513 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,720 It's not good for Adam to be alone. 514 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,680 He wasn't lonely. He had God. 515 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,360 He walked with God, he was in paradise. 516 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:22,240 So why did God create Eve? Because Adam was alone and he 517 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:27,120 could not by himself accomplish the mission that God had given 518 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:31,240 him. Adam could not accomplish the 519 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:36,160 mission of God without Eve. In that same way, the church 520 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,880 cannot accomplish the mission of God without women. 521 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:43,200 Amen. We need their voices. 522 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,880 We need their leadership right we. 523 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,760 So while the Bible does call men exclusively to pastoring and 524 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:53,680 preaching, we need women crushing and flourishing in 525 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,720 every other sphere of the church. 526 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,400 We need the voices of women showing us how to worship 527 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,040 through leading worship. We need the voices of women 528 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,440 showing us how to pray through the leading of liturgy. 529 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,320 We need the voices of women in the offices of Deacon, community 530 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,360 group leader and fighter, group leader, leader and and disciple. 531 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,120 Listen, you cannot have a strong church without strong women. 532 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:22,240 If the culture of women is weak, your church is weak. 533 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,600 If you're not leveraging the giftedness of women, your church 534 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,600 is not leveraging one of its most important resources. 535 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,000 I mean, look at the purpose clause at the end of Paul's 536 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,240 commandment. He tells them all that he said. 537 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,800 He says, hey, older women teach and train the younger women to 538 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,760 do XY and Z. Why? 539 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,800 Look at the end of verse 5. He says train them and teach 540 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:50,200 them all these things so that purpose clause so that the word 541 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:56,120 of God may not be reviled. What Paul is saying is that the 542 00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:01,320 reputation of the Word of God depends on the lives of these 543 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,920 women in the church. OK, why? 544 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,560 Because people don't look at logic most of the time, or 545 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,960 historical facts most of the time to determine what's true or 546 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,240 not. They look at the lives of the 547 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,880 people who believe the word of God is true. 548 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:24,120 And so the best argument these churches and Crete have in the 549 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:28,920 ancient world, the best argument to compel people towards the 550 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,560 word of God is the lives of these women. 551 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,920 If these women, if these women are flourishing, if they take 552 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,720 the raw material of their lives and they give it to Jesus to 553 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,560 compose a beautiful harmony out of it, if they live lives of 554 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,720 other worldly joy, if they invest in the next generation of 555 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:49,120 women and thrive and blossom, then everybody on the island of 556 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,280 Crete will look at these women and say I want what they've got. 557 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,320 It beautifies the word of God. It doesn't make it true, The 558 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:04,520 word of God is true on its own, but the lives of these women 559 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,120 makes it appear as beautiful as it is. 560 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:12,159 And that's why Paul is giving them a vision for womanhood that 561 00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:18,159 wins the world. It's just true. 562 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:27,760 Like women, sister women, you have something unique that God 563 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:32,080 has given to your spirit that's better than food. 564 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,679 Like there's an you can prove that it's better than food. 565 00:34:36,679 --> 00:34:39,840 The gifts that women have to give to the church is better 566 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,840 than food. There was we had a a church 567 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,440 membership meeting a year and a half ago. 568 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,000 That was just, it was just a tough one for me, right? 569 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,840 We, we had to walk through some financial difficulties within 570 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,480 the church. And for the first time in nine 571 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,639 years of punching the church, I was like, hey guys, I just want 572 00:34:53,639 --> 00:34:55,920 to let you know that I might need to get a part time job if I 573 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,520 want to continue to pastor here. And by the grace of God, you 574 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,080 guys stepped up and our giving has been fantastic. 575 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,440 Last quarter, first quarter of the year was actually our best 576 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,680 giving season ever in our church. 577 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,080 So thank you. But that was a tough meeting. 578 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,960 And I remember just being flat on the inside. 579 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,760 I like having those meetings. I like being like, hey, let's go 580 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,520 get Jesus. Let's take the world. 581 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,360 Let's fight for joy in the Lord. So I was like, I was feeling 582 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,720 flat after that one. And before I walked out of the 583 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:33,760 sanctuary, Judy Maxwell came over to me. 584 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:39,320 She had tears in her eyes. She took a right hand, put it on 585 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:45,040 my left shoulder, looked looked my eyeballs right in the heart. 586 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:51,640 And she said, Cole, I just want you to know how obvious it is to 587 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:56,200 me that you are giving your whole life to leading this 588 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,400 church. And I think you're doing a good 589 00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,920 job. And then she hugged me. 590 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,800 And I don't know if you've ever seen butter melt in the 591 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,200 microwave. That's what happened to my 592 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,000 heart. It just melted. 593 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,440 I'm telling you, it's it is best food. 594 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,840 It was what Judy did for me that night. 595 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,600 What she said to me was better than dinner there. 596 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:26,360 There was a there was a study that was done in the 50s that 597 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,120 proves this. It was a super unethical 598 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,480 experiment. So I'm not saying way to go 599 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,880 guys, because it was really unethical. 600 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:36,800 Has anybody heard of the the Harlow monkey experiment? 601 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,440 It's wild. OK, super unethical. 602 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,840 Also interesting what they did was they, they took a bunch of 603 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,760 monkeys and I'm not making some evolutionary claim right here. 604 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,520 OK, I'm not, I'm not an evolution guy. 605 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,000 Human beings are made uniquely in the image of God. 606 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,080 Yet there's some things to learn from studies like this. 607 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,160 And so they, they took a bunch of monkeys and then separated 608 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,200 these monkeys from their biological mothers. 609 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:04,040 Again, super unethical. But then what they did after 610 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,680 they separated them from their biological Mon monkeys is in the 611 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:11,760 controlled environment they made two different surrogate mothers. 612 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:18,000 One of the surrogate mothers had milk, but the mother was made of 613 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:23,520 wire. Got cold hard, but there was 614 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,400 food. Can you guys picture that? 615 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:31,960 The second mother didn't have any food, didn't have any milk, 616 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,040 but was made of soft cloth and blankets. 617 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,200 And so certainly the people leading the experiment thought 618 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,040 they knew for sure what was going to happen, right? 619 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,080 The thing that was going to happen, everybody assumed that 620 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,120 the monkeys would largely prefer the surrogate mother that was 621 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:52,000 made of wire but offered milk, duh, because people have 622 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:53,760 physical needs that need to be met. 623 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:58,320 So they were shocked when the monkeys overwhelmingly the 624 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,600 number was just over 90%. You can Google it. 625 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:06,160 The monkeys overwhelmingly preferred the mother with 626 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:10,400 blankets that had no milk or food. 627 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,040 Are you? Does that blow your mind? 628 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:19,360 That blew my mind because the findings of the study were 629 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,880 evident. That means they clearly 630 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:27,880 prioritized emotional security over the physical necessity of 631 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:34,320 food or the presence of a mother or spiritual mother is better 632 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,680 than food. Why? 633 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:39,760 What? Like, what is that? 634 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:44,040 Why would that be the case? Here's why, I think why. 635 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,880 It's because when you came tumbling out of your mother's 636 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:53,880 womb, out of that warm world, into this cold, sinful world 637 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,920 that we live, and you came out of your mother's room gasping, 638 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:00,760 right? Breathing, reaching for air, 639 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,680 wailing and crying. As a baby, when you came out of 640 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:07,880 your mother's womb, the first thing that you looked for in 641 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:13,240 this cold world, the first thing you looked for was a warm body. 642 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:20,800 Why? Because deep down, we all hope 643 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:25,680 and believe that at the very center of the world is a God who 644 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,200 is warm and loving and affectionate. 645 00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,400 That's what we're all looking for. 646 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:37,080 And the the good news of the gospel is that God is both 647 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,760 blanket and milk, right? That's the God God is. 648 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,320 He is blanket. There's more emotional security 649 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,720 in God than you could ever imagine. 650 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,680 The gospel is the good news that Jesus died for your sins. 651 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,680 He takes it all away from you. He covers you in his 652 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,720 righteousness. When you go to God, you get 653 00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:57,640 blankets and security, more security than you could ever 654 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,120 know. But he's also milk. 655 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:04,600 He also gives you truth. And grows you in knowledge and 656 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:09,080 brings you up. God is both blanket and milk. 657 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,720 And we are on the hunt for those figures in our lives. 658 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,720 And the thing that I fear, here's what I fear, my fear 659 00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:20,080 sometimes is that our church is made out of wire. 660 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,960 You know what I'm saying? That our church is made out of 661 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,720 wire and we have milk. We're good with truth. 662 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:32,440 We say a lot of true stuff. We preach long, we talk about 663 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,040 theology, we talk about doctrine. 664 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,720 But it's wire. There's no blanket of warmth and 665 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:40,200 support. And women, we need you. 666 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,600 We need you to be spiritual mothers who are warm and secure 667 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,960 and teach and train the next generation of women to be like 668 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,800 Jesus. A lot of women grew up with moms 669 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:58,680 who are made of wire, distant, put a roof over your head, put 670 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,040 food on the table, but distant. And so you grew up with these 671 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,240 attachment issues. It's hard to attach to other 672 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:07,120 people and other friends, and it's certainly hard to attach to 673 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,760 God because our parent figures are how we imagine God. 674 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,040 And so some of you, because of that, you picture God as made 675 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,240 out of wire. He pays the bills, He puts a 676 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:22,240 roof over your head, but he's distant, cold and mechanical. 677 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,720 And so the question is, where are the women who will step into 678 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:31,000 that gap and show the next generation of women the warmth 679 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,680 and support that God wants to to experience? 680 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,440 It's so important. It's so important. 681 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,720 Where are those women? It it's not going to happen in 682 00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:44,320 the corporate workplace. It's not going to happen in the 683 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,720 school system. It's not going to happen 684 00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:49,160 anywhere in the world besides the church. 685 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,360 Here's the way one theologian says it. 686 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:57,360 He says quote in the family of God, spiritual mothers and 687 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:02,600 fathers are instruments of divine re parenting. 688 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,920 That's what you're doing. Even if you're in your 20s, 689 00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:12,640 there are plenty of women who are one Step 2 steps behind you. 690 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:18,200 Divine re parenting the church. In the church, mothers and 691 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,120 fathers are instruments of divine reparenting. 692 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,920 Through them, God heals the wounds of our unmet childhood 693 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:28,760 needs and nurtures in us the secure attachment that enables 694 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,600 us to trust Him as our ultimate Father. 695 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:35,720 Isn't that beautiful? It's one of the reasons I think 696 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,480 I think a lot about it. Now that I've got a daughter 697 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:45,720 who's five years old like I want to do, I'm almost done. 698 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:51,400 I know we're falling apart. I I wanted there are things that 699 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,160 Chloe and I cannot be for her. And I know this. 700 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,800 Della tells me this on a weekly basis. 701 00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,880 Earlier this week it was 7:00 AM and I just looked at Della in 702 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:08,720 the eyes and I went and Della goes, Dad, This is why I don't 703 00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,080 want you to ever take me to school. 704 00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,600 So I need you, some of you, to take her to school Now, Chloe's 705 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:20,960 got it. But there are these pieces and 706 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,200 parts in her heart that we won't be able to reach. 707 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:26,840 Who's going to do it? It's going to be you guys. 708 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,720 Like, this is crazy. If you're in your 20s, women, 709 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,760 you are going to be Della's spiritual mother. 710 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:37,120 And I want her to grow up in an environment, a church 711 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:40,520 environment where it is normal for her to hear from an older 712 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,760 woman. Hey, Della, I saw you, Della, I 713 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,800 saw you praying with Phoebe. And I just want to let you know 714 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,160 that was so cool. And I'm praying that your prayer 715 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,240 life would increase. I want that to be normal for 716 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:53,040 her, right? I want, I want Reese Kerr to 717 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,080 grow up in an environment where it's normal for an older woman 718 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,880 to say, sister, I heard what you said to your friend. 719 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,320 And I just want to let you know that you might have the gift of 720 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,800 prophecy, and I just want to fan that flame. 721 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,720 And I just want to see you grow into that woman, right? 722 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:11,280 That's the type of relationships I want my daughter and the women 723 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,400 in our church to have. So let me end with an 724 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,640 exhortation. This is an exhortation for the 725 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:16,920 women in our church specifically. 726 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:22,400 Put yourself on a pathway to one day grow into the role of a 727 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,880 spiritual mother. I don't care if you're single, 728 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:31,200 married, married, without kids. Put yourself on a path to one 729 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,080 day grow into the role of a spiritual mother. 730 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:36,280 Since we're a younger church, you will probably be called upon 731 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,960 to be a spiritual mother much sooner than you would have 732 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,160 guessed. At an older church, you might 733 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:46,240 have the luxury of waiting until you're 50 or 60 before you step 734 00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:48,560 into that role. Not the case at Frontier. 735 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,640 You will need to play this role for women in our church who are 736 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,400 just one or two seasons life behind you very soon. 737 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,080 And so there's many ways to put yourself on this pathway, but 738 00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:01,280 let me lay it out for you in three steps. 739 00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:05,080 Do these three things every time you gather with the church and 740 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:09,040 you will be on your way to being a spiritual mother, a pillar in 741 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:14,040 the church. 1st, every time you gather with the church, notice, 742 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,800 just notice a young woman who is crushing it. 743 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,720 I don't even care what. Maybe they're just crushing it 744 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,360 being a Christian. Maybe they're crushing it by 745 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,080 leading worship. Just notice a young woman who 746 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:29,960 was crushing it. Maybe she's crushing it at being 747 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,240 a mom or a wife. Notice that she's doing a great 748 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:34,680 job. Step 2. 749 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:40,920 Tell her she's crushing it with your mouth with words. 750 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:46,360 Too often we bury our discourage or we bury our encouragement. 751 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,800 So tell her she's crushing it and be specific. 752 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:56,560 Third, pray for her out loud. If you're feeling so bold, put 753 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,720 your hand on her shoulder and pray for her. 754 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:03,400 And I am telling you, if you do that, even if you're 25, if 755 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:09,320 you're 25 and you do those three things 52 Sundays a year for 10 756 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:15,600 years straight, by the time you're 35, you will be a magnet 757 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,880 for younger women in the church who are drowning in life and 758 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:25,480 drowning in marriage and drowning in motherhood and 759 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,720 drowning at work. You will have an invisible 760 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:34,320 tractor beam that draws the younger women to you and 761 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:38,440 excavates out of them. Teach me how to be a godly 762 00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,880 woman. And if you give your life to 763 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:46,080 teaching and training those women who ask you that, then 764 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:51,320 Frontier will cultivate A womanhood that wins the world. 765 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,120 Heavenly Father, I pray that you would you would bless us. 766 00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,960 I think there's a lot for the men in our church to learn from 767 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,000 this text, but they also got their sermon last week. 768 00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:10,560 And so I pray that you would call forth spiritual mothers, 769 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:15,120 that you would equip them to invest and that you wouldn't 770 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,320 teach them and train them to teach and train younger women. 771 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:21,840 And maybe the more important part of the equation, Lord, is 772 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:29,880 send your Holy Spirit to so soften, to so soften the hearts 773 00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:39,160 of the younger women that they have the humility to pursue 774 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:44,640 older women and say, hey, how the heck do you follow Jesus? 775 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,480 And if enough of those conversations happen, this place 776 00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,040 will be filled with spiritual mothers and fathers that rock 777 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,800 the city of Des Moines. Do that through us and in US, 778 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:55,960 Lord. It's in the precious name of 779 00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:57,440 Jesus that all God's people prayed.