1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,360 ETV style. Hello, hello, hello, Hello. 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:08,080 And welcome to another edition of Hey, guys, What's Up? 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,160 Welcome to Two Sides and Vibes, where we just talk as men. 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,920 We just talk. Nothing. 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,560 Let's just basically talk. And today, of course, Eddie 6 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,120 couldn't sing himself. Yeah. 7 00:00:28,270 --> 00:00:34,270 Yeah, you drop your mic set. Anyways, what are we talking 8 00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:39,190 about today? How was your last breakup Hey I 9 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:40,870 think they asked some questions you it'll. 10 00:00:41,350 --> 00:00:43,670 Be episode three. People didn't my mind if we have 11 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,270 honest conversations and go straight to the point. 12 00:00:45,990 --> 00:00:49,910 I picked lessons, I picked. Lessons from episode 3 maybe you 13 00:00:49,910 --> 00:00:51,910 know, talk. If they give you the PDF, how 14 00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:53,270 was it? How was it? 15 00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:55,430 How was it? How did you navigate by God's 16 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,150 grace? Like someone will talk. 17 00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,110 It was OK. It was OK. 18 00:01:00,870 --> 00:01:03,350 I know they need something when I end or you know? 19 00:01:03,350 --> 00:01:04,550 I don't need something. How? 20 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,950 How did they happen? How did you handle it? 21 00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:09,350 What happened? No for free. 22 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:12,430 Answer for free. Yeah, though I did. 23 00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:16,230 I plead the No, no, no, no cheats. 24 00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:22,990 Oh, no. You know, it's just 25 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:26,590 understanding. You know, I remember the the 26 00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:30,230 last episode we did, you know, my guy here was talking about 27 00:01:30,510 --> 00:01:33,110 the foundations we build, how we build relationships. 28 00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,150 I think we get the foundation wrong. 29 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:39,830 Like he said, it just starts off, you know, with a vibe like 30 00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:42,220 the podcast. It's just a vibe. 31 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:45,100 You didn't like each other. I didn't like you with a flirt 32 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,780 with a before you see. No, you started thinking the 33 00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:50,380 person said be a woman, sake of maybe they spend more time 34 00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,380 together, you know, they do things. 35 00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,500 Yeah. Then the relationship starts. 36 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,900 Of course there are cases where both of you understand actually 37 00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,620 where I do something, you know, but what's the foundation? 38 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,660 I think. I think the foundation was weak. 39 00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:06,380 The Bible says if the foundations be weak or child 40 00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:14,520 that without their words, what kind of righteous do I know? 41 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,240 Yeah, yeah. So I think that it was a 42 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:22,200 foundational problem. We a problem do you think, do 43 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,200 you think that's the case of many relationships now in that 44 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,440 age getting the foundation wrong? 45 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,560 I think so. I think so. 46 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:33,040 I I well, I can speak for a lot of people, but the few I know, I 47 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,370 know that most people they begin with. 48 00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:36,210 I like you. I like you. 49 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,850 You know, even my even to my right, yeah, after five months 50 00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,610 it's here. I talk but when we say 51 00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:44,290 foundation self, let's let's come, let's let's, let's come to 52 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:47,170 I think. Foundation based on the last 53 00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:51,730 episode or what I know is mainly what the non negotiables are. 54 00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:58,810 So I'd I'd equate it to OK, I'm an Arsenal fan, OK, I love 55 00:02:58,810 --> 00:03:00,970 Arsenal with my heart. Out of all the teams, out of all 56 00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,690 the. I love Arsenal because you don't 57 00:03:02,690 --> 00:03:04,210 just support Arsenal because of trophies. 58 00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:07,630 There needs to be something, so that's me and me. 59 00:03:07,630 --> 00:03:08,590 I explain. My team I love. 60 00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:12,750 The I love the club. What does I play? 61 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,470 For the wrong team, more teams did. 62 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:23,590 Looking for culture? Culture then definitely a club 63 00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:27,390 you could look at and when we were picking a coach we I 64 00:03:27,390 --> 00:03:30,670 remember in 2019 I tweeted we should go for either Viera or 65 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,590 etcetera, mainly because they would understand the club very 66 00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,410 much. Ateta comes in and he talks 67 00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:37,850 about non negotiables. What are certain things that he 68 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,930 can't let go of? What are things that he can't 69 00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:41,730 do? Then we started with Obama Young 70 00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:45,050 and how Obama Young was ousted out of the team mainly because 71 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,090 he flouted certain things very good. 72 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:48,690 What are yours in the relationship? 73 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:50,290 What are certain things? We don't have these 74 00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:53,650 conversations at all and you coming in there safe. 75 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,130 What are things that you are expecting? 76 00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:56,690 What are things that you're looking out for? 77 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:58,890 What are things that you noticed that you can live with? 78 00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:00,650 Last episode we spoke about 80 to 80. 79 00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:02,450 Have you noticed some of these things? 80 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,910 You know that. And necessary things. 81 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:08,150 We are just loving it. Like deal Breakers and deal 82 00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:09,230 Breakers. That's very good. 83 00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:11,830 What are the red flags? My puppy here at them. 84 00:04:12,310 --> 00:04:16,990 Red flag. Those things and even with 85 00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:19,269 people who are in love, should know each other's red flag. 86 00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:21,350 You know what takes you off and everything. 87 00:04:21,510 --> 00:04:23,830 What are your ex? And then they'll buy and they'll 88 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,710 ask you what do you bring with your texting. 89 00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:29,030 I feel like just the necessary conversations. 90 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:31,630 We don't, we don't have, we don't have any of those and. 91 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,840 Just to enter the conversation on break UPS, that was my 92 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:38,480 biggest mistake. In a past relationship I had, we 93 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,680 didn't have these conversations. The. 94 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,160 Cameras are the. The cameras are the. 95 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,360 No, but basically we didn't have we didn't have conversations. 96 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,720 I I blame myself. I think I'll I'll take the 97 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,960 bullets for. This one, is it because you are 98 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,920 the man and you should have left that conversation? 99 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,680 Yes. I believe in that strongly, 100 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,970 although it's very. Sexist, and if he was like. 101 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,370 That'd be boarding algorithm. Whatever they think, we don't. 102 00:05:07,450 --> 00:05:09,570 Yeah, I always say this. This is what algorithm. 103 00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:13,610 I might as well. So I feel. 104 00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:16,130 I feel strongly at that. I hope you obtain my brother I. 105 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:18,090 Didn't do what I had to do. I didn't lead with the right 106 00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:19,610 questions. I didn't have the right 107 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:22,170 conversations. There were also parts where you 108 00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:24,610 could tell that we weren't matured enough for setting 109 00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:27,370 conversations, like, but what's next for us? 110 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,470 How I didn't lead those. At that point, I was too scared 111 00:05:30,470 --> 00:05:33,470 I would lose it. That drove me to do too many. 112 00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:34,630 I was about to ask. I was. 113 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,830 Doing too much? Yeah, Yeah. 114 00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:39,990 I think at that point I was very much in love with the person and 115 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:42,750 how the person is like. Do we pay too much attention to 116 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:44,710 the feeling? Yeah, that we have for the 117 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,870 person at. That time. 118 00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:50,430 You know how the person is making you feel the calls. 119 00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:54,190 So at the time we direct my champion at that time. 120 00:05:54,700 --> 00:06:12,020 And in my left hand side but I I think because. 121 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:21,900 I. Don't talk about it the first 122 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,140 time I'm having this constitution, but I I think. 123 00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:26,340 I am to blame. I was to blame. 124 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,980 We didn't have the right conversations. 125 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,820 And I was just very scared I would lose it. 126 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,900 Yeah, because at that time, if you look at the kind of person 127 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,940 she was like the person I'm like, actually let me find where 128 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:37,380 I land. You like because somebody. 129 00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:46,260 Goes to withdrew. It carried away with that, but I 130 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:50,140 didn't have the right conversations and Fast forward. 131 00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:53,700 I just realized that one person matured more than another. 132 00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:56,100 She did. More Is that what the say I 133 00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,820 outgrew my partner? I think she did. 134 00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:00,380 I think she did and. So was it like a lack of 135 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:01,980 leadership? Yeah, from from that. 136 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,300 Person or me, I think if I'm credited for me. 137 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:08,420 But then she helped you, right? Like you, you've gotten to. 138 00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:10,940 Know and there's. No way you're going to carry 139 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,420 that same mistake into your next relationship. 140 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,380 Easy, but I think that. We are not going to a breach 141 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:17,180 what? I cry again. 142 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,200 Because other we breathe in when the house did, the mountains 143 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:28,520 here, the landscape. But I think it took, it took me, 144 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,240 it took me a good a good period to just understand what happened 145 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,800 process what happened. I think the hardest period was 146 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,360 that the season of singleness, you run through that single 147 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,560 period because now. Is it more like so right now 148 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,760 there's nobody you know. You wake up, you have someone to 149 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,970 talk to. You go out and then all of a 150 00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:49,250 sudden it's like, yeah. I think, I think you missed 151 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:50,970 that. But when you come to the point 152 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,250 where you feel like OK now you did, why not be me? 153 00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:55,130 We can try understand what. For. 154 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:57,530 Yeah. What's next for me? 155 00:08:00,290 --> 00:08:02,770 Yeah. So I think me. 156 00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:04,530 That's my bigger story. It's not. 157 00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:20,570 It's not. More boys way and get more 158 00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:27,850 stories because I think my body. Like, I didn't understand. 159 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:28,330 Yeah. Yeah. 160 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:31,610 So I share a similar story, which of course I'm not going. 161 00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:37,850 Into but like you said like you said and I think a lot I'm 162 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,490 discovering more young people who have experienced this. 163 00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:44,090 You know, young people lasted 21, make even in their 30s. 164 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,720 Like, yeah, you can call it mid 30s. 165 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,200 You know, because of the economy, right? 166 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,200 Funny thing is, things that should have happened to us in 167 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,000 our 25 are now happening to us. Yes, because like every space 168 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,120 now 30. 233 Now you land your one big job, Charlie. 169 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,080 Now you didn't. You have your biggest breakup. 170 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,680 That means you have been 22 my life. 171 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:02,400 Absolutely. Yeah. 172 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,360 We're feeling it now. We're feeling it now. 173 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,880 It's a similar story, you know. And then it gets to the point 174 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,920 because we always see the woman as the price, you know, we 175 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,680 hardly do. Men see themselves as the price, 176 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,400 you know. So we see the woman as the price 177 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,560 like you said, same thing. You know, you look at the woman, 178 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,720 this girl, big man, big man. Like you know way you know big 179 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,360 men because you know the big man they like. 180 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,400 I mean no matter what you two people they like you, you know, 181 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:28,000 but you know they look yourself, you look the other person where 182 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,280 the people they like. So you felt like you don't want 183 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,360 to lose it. You don't want to lose it. 184 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,880 I'll do everything to save it. You know you will simp and 185 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,760 that's a big mistake that we all we all make with simp and simp 186 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:43,930 and simp not knowing that just. Boss my not knowing. 187 00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,530 You know, we're rather destroying the relationship 188 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,570 because women don't like men or SIM, you know? 189 00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:52,130 Know then you go. But Sims think women like them. 190 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:54,250 You see Sims think women like them. 191 00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:59,010 Sims because they are used to fulfill, to to fill time. 192 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:03,330 Women like Sims. Sims think women like them. 193 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,490 Yeah, because you're doing the nice things and she's and she's 194 00:10:06,530 --> 00:10:07,690 she's taking it, she's taking it. 195 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,810 But you don't know that she in general. 196 00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:12,850 Exactly. She was just using YouTube. 197 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,200 You will. And if you have Bill yourself 198 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,200 for that, he likes me. I mean, whatever I do to him, he 199 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,120 still likes me, you know? There's that one guy that's when 200 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,600 I call him right now that he should come. 201 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,920 He will come, if you like lesbian. 202 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:33,240 I think my story was also not messy, but I don't think mine 203 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,480 was a lack of leadership. Mine was that energy wasn't 204 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,380 reciprocated. But doing long distance for four 205 00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:43,580 years ago? Show you long distance for four 206 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:45,340 years, bro, They. Need you as president. 207 00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:48,580 To save the economy. So The thing is, I work the 208 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,300 whole year. I don't go on leave. 209 00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:53,020 I mean, I have my way, I'm maneuvering to the system, some 210 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:56,900 sick leave and so, but I think the whole of December just for 211 00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:59,060 her, so just for. Her flies. 212 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,780 Now in December I don't do anything. 213 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:05,340 No, but it's not. Simple. 214 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,020 I've worked for 11 months and I'm thinking one month for 215 00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:09,340 myself. Is it for you? 216 00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:12,140 Or for her, My relationship. It's for me too. 217 00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:16,420 I'm building something, right? So one thing I realized was that 218 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,900 one thing. One thing I realized was I think 219 00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:25,700 I was the one with all the ideas, right? 220 00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:28,660 If she come Ghana, we are no taxi. 221 00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:31,420 We will feed them. Then we do what series? 222 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:35,500 One week. But you know, a funny thing. 223 00:11:35,930 --> 00:11:41,370 Come back to your story. You know the baby. 224 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:44,530 You know the baby. So if you see the baby, like, 225 00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,330 because you know the boys are my. 226 00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:49,970 So it's like, oh, yeah. So at that point, you are not 227 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,130 even valuing yourself. You're not even valuing 228 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,290 yourself. It's like, let me settle for 229 00:11:55,290 --> 00:12:00,010 whatever comes right. So it was the one moment that I 230 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,850 showed him my value. That was when the relationship 231 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:04,090 ended. It was that one moment that. 232 00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:06,290 I complained. It was that one moment that I 233 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,970 was like, I deserve better. It was that one moment that I 234 00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:12,570 demanded more. Because what the hell do you 235 00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:13,770 mean by Happy birthday, little one? 236 00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:19,490 I don't see before. They read that message that they 237 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:21,890 open, give somebody, bring, can give you happy birthday little 238 00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,480 one something. Then it's something where you 239 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:30,080 would talk like. It wasn't. 240 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,960 That was, that was. That was the genuine birthday 241 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,200 wish and the whole day she disappeared from my life, little 242 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,280 one. So in the in the night I called 243 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:46,160 I was like so I didn't know I like it's my birthday like I 244 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:52,230 wanted you to enjoy your I. Wanted. 245 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,670 You to enjoy your day. Why are you allowing other girls 246 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,710 to fill your space? Like why are you so comfortable 247 00:12:56,750 --> 00:13:00,510 you know but all that time you know sometimes you see red flags 248 00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:04,950 and they turn orange because you like the person, you like the 249 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:11,790 person so you downplay right? Because it's like as we said you 250 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:14,550 can find 80 so maybe that with the 20 and they find no no but 251 00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:18,450 it should be a non negotiable. So I realized I was doing too 252 00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:20,010 much as she said I was. I was the one. 253 00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:21,970 Let me tell the funniest. I have two friends in New 254 00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,090 Jersey. That's where she lived. 255 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:27,490 Bless and Derek December by October. 256 00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:30,650 Then create WhatsApp group this one day buy flowers one day buy 257 00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:31,530 cake. One day buy this. 258 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:35,810 Then Shell, Derek. Google become the Google by 259 00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:45,850 watching. So the funniest thing was you 260 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,050 need to know, I want to ask for a breakup. 261 00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:49,690 Before then, I was like, Charlie, let's travel, Let's. 262 00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:51,330 Because we don't see each other the whole year, right? 263 00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,410 Uncle France, Uncle Baby Charlie. 264 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:58,530 Yes, so. If we are in the same room, we 265 00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:04,730 have sex. So what's the difference? 266 00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:06,530 Right? The moment I asked for a 267 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:08,090 breakup, she wanted to buy tickets to Maldives. 268 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:12,090 So then it was like it was the fear of losing me. 269 00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:18,830 It wasn't, it wasn't the the ability to fight to keep me. 270 00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:28,230 So back to the story of when I had a visa to when I got, when I 271 00:14:28,230 --> 00:14:30,270 got COVID and ended up in the ICU, right. 272 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:34,390 I was just there looking out the affection my friends were giving 273 00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:35,670 me. This same friend that at some 274 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:38,790 point he even wanted me to cut off where the friends holding me 275 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:43,690 down now and I was like. It didn't even start from. 276 00:14:43,690 --> 00:14:46,210 It was when my dad died. That whole funeral process. 277 00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:48,010 You know, even call me if you wake up. 278 00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:52,730 How is he going? So my party, if you wake up, 279 00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:55,370 then you send me, You say, oh, I know, I know you have money. 280 00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:59,130 I know you can do this. But take this girl. 281 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:06,090 Yeah, but still. But. 282 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:11,020 You know, But then I woke up one morning and I was like, I'm 283 00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:13,060 losing myself a moment of silence. 284 00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:15,540 All right, But I was very honest about it. 285 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,860 In communicating my feelings, I was. 286 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,300 I was very, very honest about it. 287 00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:22,940 I was honest about the first time I think I deserve more. 288 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:26,220 I told her point blank. I told her point blank like I I 289 00:15:26,220 --> 00:15:29,340 think and the relationship was making me lose myself more than 290 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:32,180 I was finding myself. I was very, very honest about 291 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,980 speech. Like I remember there was a day 292 00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,700 I woke up and I was like, do you do your quiet time? 293 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,550 She said. And I was like, why? 294 00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:41,310 Oh when she starts reading it's a recipe for falling back 295 00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:42,110 asleep. I was like, who? 296 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:44,870 I understand my IBM. So do you do it before you go to 297 00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:47,670 bed then No. And she felt attacked. 298 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,430 As you said. We need to lead our women 299 00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,150 spiritually. Right. 300 00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:55,230 And that's all I was trying to do you version Bible plan. 301 00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:57,790 Add me as a friend make actually we will do together item matter. 302 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:02,150 So then at some point and I was like, Charlie, I deserve better. 303 00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:04,870 So I just walked out. But I have never felt so free. 304 00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:06,590 I know. Good. 305 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,280 Like. So then they started me from 306 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,760 hospital and crocheted Dubai processor now so I didn't know 307 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:12,920 when my party sent me screen shot. 308 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,400 Then Madam, it's not premier man. 309 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:20,120 It's not premier man wanted to meet me. 310 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,480 So you showed me the message like should you reply? 311 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,320 Don't. I just wanted to relax, cleared 312 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,960 my head. Came back to Ghana one day. 313 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,510 I called her, tried to talk. I think she was waiting for the 314 00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:34,470 call when the call came. No. 315 00:16:34,470 --> 00:16:36,390 You know, I don't know if you experience some battle women. 316 00:16:36,390 --> 00:16:38,110 They just want. They just want to be the ones to 317 00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,150 say let's break up. Yeah. 318 00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,110 Yeah. So when I called it, we're 319 00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,270 talking here. It's me I've thought about. 320 00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,110 I don't want this relationship. You know, I was like, you want 321 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:47,310 the trophy. I honestly don't care. 322 00:16:47,470 --> 00:16:49,190 Like, sincerely. I didn't say the same. 323 00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:51,670 Like, I don't care. Like, take it. 324 00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:54,510 So it was, it was quite messy sometimes. 325 00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:55,670 And I'll come back to this point. 326 00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:59,190 You wake up one when you realize you are single like. 327 00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:05,150 Charlie was like in Japan. Four years, it's all gone. 328 00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,310 And we're planning to get married and stuff. 329 00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:09,430 You know, like. 'D be tough. 330 00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:10,910 Go If you wake up my money, go text you. 331 00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:12,869 I need five years to know more about myself. 332 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,310 Five years? Yeah, that. 333 00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:20,270 This was like 2019-2020, somebody 2022-2023, how are you? 334 00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:23,270 If I respect you maybe true like. 335 00:17:24,349 --> 00:17:27,109 I will call you. If you wake up my money, I I 336 00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:28,870 thought, I need five years to learn more. 337 00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:33,390 But now early 20s, now early. So we admit our our flaws and 338 00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,910 our mistakes. Yeah, I think we we thought it 339 00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:39,390 was a problem of leadership. You you felt like the energy 340 00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,110 was. Something. 341 00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:44,070 Yeah, but before I think they break, break breaks every, they 342 00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:44,790 see the flags. Don't. 343 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:45,470 Oh, I see. I see. 344 00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:46,870 I see them. But I've never seen them as. 345 00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:49,750 Well as like you talk some of the things you you saw that you 346 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:52,590 know now you know say I'm. So sorry, I'm about to see this. 347 00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:59,430 So she came here where we are. So she came to live with me, 348 00:17:59,590 --> 00:18:03,870 right? We woke up, I had just moved in. 349 00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:05,830 Nobody was living in the house for like 2 years. 350 00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,510 So we saw like 2 cockroaches in like it'd be normal. 351 00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:10,590 Like you moved to place like you had to spray the place too. 352 00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:14,470 So there were two cockroaches in the on on the in the front of 353 00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:16,150 the bathroom. So you see them before. 354 00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:19,190 So I didn't wake up early. So I was at MS-24 then. 355 00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:25,170 I know they come office early. It was like 8:39 AM that time 356 00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:30,330 till we go off his bedtime. So I realized I would drive you 357 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,810 naturally the the cleaning here and since. 358 00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:38,730 But I saw the Coco cheese there and I was like basically one 359 00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:41,490 being you clear that no, they were dead. 360 00:18:41,490 --> 00:18:46,690 I spread to me like Clam Madame Vex. 361 00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,330 I want things to be done on my timing. 362 00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:54,690 Sorry, but that we have that conversation that is that is oh, 363 00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:56,810 I cried that I cried like I cried myself. 364 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,770 Oh bro. Now they record my album that 365 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,210 time that album would be Emotional album. 366 00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:04,010 That album would be emotional album for Streamer. 367 00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:09,610 The creativity weapon is OK. So that was one of the things, 368 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:11,050 right? So eventually when the breakup 369 00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:13,010 happened and I opened up to my sisters about it. 370 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,620 So my eldest sister is in the US and she was like, do I know the 371 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:19,900 number of guys who have moved to the US on their wife's tickets 372 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:25,380 that are washing their panties and stuff? 373 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,340 I saw all of these things, but I was like, I want to be doing 374 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,980 things. You know, modern day feminism, 375 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,820 the woman doesn't belong to the kitchen, so it's OK if you also 376 00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:41,540 cook. So I was trying to tell myself 377 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:49,880 things that would. Like, it's OK. 378 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,080 Black me out. I saw. 379 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,040 I saw the science. I saw. 380 00:19:55,520 --> 00:20:00,320 But I used to comfort myself until I started speaking to 381 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,920 married folks. They were like everything you 382 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,520 see magnifies itself in marriage. 383 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,200 It gets worse. I didn't know that. 384 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,290 You get to the point where she said Charlie. 385 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:11,290 The thing in the shake, In the break. 386 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,490 They break, but I still the hold on. 387 00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:16,890 Like I want to fight for. You see, you know what? 388 00:20:17,410 --> 00:20:20,690 I don't mind if you fight for me, but I did. 389 00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:23,290 If you fight for me, fine. But I'm not asking you to fight 390 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,210 for. You should not talk that. 391 00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:29,610 But I think I knew. I just knew that it wasn't 392 00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,650 serving, but it was very, very apparent. 393 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,130 Yeah, it was. But I was, and I wasn't talking 394 00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:38,090 about it, you know? Handle things on my own. 395 00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,010 You don't. Want to lose it? 396 00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:43,090 Yeah, It's like, but I was a trophy. 397 00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:45,370 It was when I actually asked for the breakup that she actually 398 00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,450 made me realize that I was a trophy. 399 00:20:47,650 --> 00:20:50,650 Right, because she was. She told me point blank that I 400 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,730 remember one thing in a message like, I don't want to lose a 401 00:20:52,770 --> 00:20:55,570 great catch like you. And I'm like, you don't make me 402 00:20:55,570 --> 00:20:58,530 feel like at this point, be too late. 403 00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:02,830 Be too late. I mean, hey, no, no. 404 00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:06,790 We don't listen. We are playing a story in our 405 00:21:06,870 --> 00:21:07,750 heads. I don't listen. 406 00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:08,790 I didn't play the story from my head. 407 00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:10,710 As I said, I think. Me. 408 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:14,030 I. Saw the fact that you go see him 409 00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:16,990 Nobody could tell you sometimes be as big as bed sheets. 410 00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:22,070 You didn't see everything. I think I did no real I think I 411 00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:25,550 did well where my issue come from the IT wasn't even. 412 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:30,030 I think it was just one day we she wake up and she realized she 413 00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:33,170 won't find anybody. Oh, I want to find myself. 414 00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:35,890 We she like. And one thing about her was that 415 00:21:35,890 --> 00:21:38,210 she gave reasons. That were valid. 416 00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:39,850 Very OK. OK then I found. 417 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:44,330 So then what are they? Do so they overdoing, you know 418 00:21:44,330 --> 00:21:45,730 you ended up. Performing. 419 00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:49,930 Yeah, everything where I figure they do makes sense. 420 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:52,290 I waste my time. Hey, you make I think. 421 00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:54,730 I never think like that. You make like you do overthink 422 00:21:54,730 --> 00:22:03,740 things. So 423 00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:18,500 you made the simple things. Yeah, 424 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:41,550 then you can't do like. You OK then I go. 425 00:22:41,550 --> 00:22:44,310 Do the workout I go. Do the reps, then I go see 426 00:22:44,350 --> 00:22:46,110 somewhere else. Then you'd be like I lost for 427 00:22:46,110 --> 00:22:47,470 the gym. Yeah. 428 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,840 Is it like the what could have been and the what if and 429 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,240 everything is playing everything? 430 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,000 What you could have done right? Why didn't you see this? 431 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:07,800 I have that. I have that gym phase too, 432 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,320 because as everything I know, I need to get better. 433 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,320 But one song for the gym with the gym, some very tough gym, 434 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,520 so. Like from morning to gospel. 435 00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:50,420 I was so lost that I realized that me to find your body and 436 00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:53,380 that period that period where you realized that okay okay fine 437 00:23:53,380 --> 00:23:55,260 fine. He cast vin. 438 00:23:55,420 --> 00:23:58,460 He not happened then. Now you will try to find reasons 439 00:23:58,460 --> 00:24:02,100 then what happened. How we do that where the issue D 440 00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:06,910 for more boys coping mechanism Oh oh right. 441 00:24:07,190 --> 00:24:10,750 After. Those first few weeks, Yes. 442 00:24:10,870 --> 00:24:14,670 Those first few weeks. See if it will be God. 443 00:24:16,470 --> 00:24:18,670 Some people, then there some boys, they relationship inside 444 00:24:18,670 --> 00:24:21,470 and just the casual. It should be good girl make a 445 00:24:21,470 --> 00:24:24,830 girl like three years. Then after more boys get more 446 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,830 girls to the key people because he's good. 447 00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:28,910 Like he's had no material, actually. 448 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:30,830 If you. Fall you fall like. 449 00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:34,860 The funny thing is they think we don't feel it, That's. 450 00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:36,900 It. That's it even. 451 00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:41,340 Me way I walk out, bro, You feel, see, I say. 452 00:24:41,340 --> 00:24:45,140 If you didn't mean that I was grounded in God, I didn't live 453 00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:47,260 alone. Forget. 454 00:24:47,580 --> 00:24:51,120 The questions we asked God. Forget forgetted community 455 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:56,200 invite. You know what I mean? 456 00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,400 If God the whole boys down, we know the future with the whole 457 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,440 gifts and the talents and the amounting, give me, oh God, like 458 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,460 I will swim myself. Because that it'd be crazy. 459 00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:11,180 You just need something to fill your time because the person you 460 00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:13,380 always spend time talking to isn't there. 461 00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:15,700 The thoughts and the memories there, like every. 462 00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:19,580 Moment it is, it is like. When I mean them boys to if I 463 00:25:19,580 --> 00:25:22,300 didn't like you and they record everything. 464 00:25:25,220 --> 00:25:28,180 My Snapchat you did, my memories you did here. 465 00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:32,860 So we don't know. I delete everything but 466 00:25:32,860 --> 00:25:35,530 Snapchat. Memories one year, one year 467 00:25:35,530 --> 00:25:40,250 later. Something 4. 468 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:50,290 Years ago 5-3. You don't know why they bomb 469 00:25:50,290 --> 00:25:51,650 you. The people who won't allow you 470 00:25:51,650 --> 00:25:56,770 to move on. Hey, I'm just checking. 471 00:25:56,770 --> 00:25:58,570 Oh, take you on me for what? Open day. 472 00:25:58,570 --> 00:26:00,490 You good? You up? 473 00:26:01,530 --> 00:26:26,890 3A WY D3 AM Oh, you somebody some people marry. 474 00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,700 Somebody do your wedding for and I. 475 00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:36,300 Think for me. Another vital lesson I learned 476 00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:39,060 was to make sure that you should know the role of social media in 477 00:26:39,060 --> 00:26:41,380 your relationship. Guy understand. 478 00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:44,420 Social media what? Role it plays because for me, I 479 00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:48,740 think even though I played it well, it still was in such a way 480 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:52,480 that after people knew too much. It wasn't. 481 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,920 Even details by like just the little different. 482 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,720 You know where we went like those things, like even last 483 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:58,600 time I saw you people. Here. 484 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,280 Then RX say OK, OK, yeah, so moving on. 485 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,040 It's my relationship. It's mine. 486 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:07,080 It's me. It's not the world. 487 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,760 So what about narrative I want It's not the. 488 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:09,880 World and the person was well to. 489 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,720 Understand and everybody becomes a shareholder. 490 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:12,840 So that's one thing you need to know. 491 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,880 What's the dynamic of our relationship this time moving on 492 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,680 when you when you when you actually break up and you don't 493 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,800 have these conversations with yourself? 494 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,760 The next ones will be just a repetition of the same. 495 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,800 Thing you know, even though I was saying I was the one that 496 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,800 left, right? I I also think there was 497 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:31,600 something I could have done better where I think she said 498 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,080 something in her message like she was so consciously trying to 499 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,760 save herself because she thought I didn't need her all up in my 500 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,760 business, Charlie. That be? 501 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,800 Real Now make I tell you that ya, I've lived alone for 10 502 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,520 years right? So the very first time she came 503 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,160 to Ghana, we with the cool habitats. 504 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,460 It was like. And now I woke up, somebody did 505 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,660 my bed up like it was really hard. 506 00:27:52,660 --> 00:27:54,220 It was really hard for me to accept that. 507 00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:55,900 Now I have someone in my space, right? 508 00:27:56,420 --> 00:27:59,220 And I think that was where that see there was nothing I could 509 00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:00,660 have done about it. That was my reality. 510 00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:04,180 That was my reality. But I think she but I even 511 00:28:04,180 --> 00:28:06,260 played that. So from there they drive them 512 00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:07,580 around. They greet some of my friends 513 00:28:07,580 --> 00:28:11,940 who I do some dinner and since thank God for deleting pictures 514 00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:15,290 way like. And it's like, I want to remind 515 00:28:15,330 --> 00:28:17,290 you, oh, no, no. No, I changed my phone like 516 00:28:17,290 --> 00:28:21,810 twice. If so, I beg missing you 517 00:28:21,810 --> 00:28:25,810 straight from laptop. So I said. 518 00:28:25,810 --> 00:28:28,650 I realized that it was it was more of. 519 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:32,370 I had to be more open to embracing, right? 520 00:28:32,850 --> 00:28:36,010 But I couldn't have done it. I needed time to ease up. 521 00:28:36,290 --> 00:28:39,730 Now the long distance comes in. If we were in close proximity, 522 00:28:39,730 --> 00:28:40,890 I'm sure we would have had a few days. 523 00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,930 It would have It would have been much easier. 524 00:28:43,410 --> 00:28:45,290 But then if you come that one month that one month you will be 525 00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:47,130 happy for like one week. The three weeks will be fight 526 00:28:47,930 --> 00:28:51,130 because she know know how I did navigate. 527 00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:54,090 I don't want to see death if I see that's been overflowed 528 00:28:54,090 --> 00:28:56,210 something they do me because that's how I like my if you take 529 00:28:56,210 --> 00:28:59,770 the remote put for here right. I had to adjust that I had 530 00:28:59,770 --> 00:29:02,170 someone in my space. The person would take the 531 00:29:02,170 --> 00:29:03,530 remote, you go put for the couches and it's. 532 00:29:03,530 --> 00:29:09,850 OK if it'd be OK. But I was so temporal to some, 533 00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:11,880 you know. But then with time, I got 534 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,400 better. But then she also thought, OK, 535 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,760 maybe he likes to handle things alone. 536 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,520 But then I also grew to share more. 537 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,160 Babe, what do you think? I'm that kind of guy. 538 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,080 If I had to go buy safe, Babe, I'll send you pictures. 539 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,520 So we pick like, I'm that kind of guy. 540 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,240 Like romantic. Oh, I'm not the past, man. 541 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,300 It's like I had to. I had to. 542 00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:42,500 I had to learn how to let go of my principles. 543 00:29:44,580 --> 00:29:50,060 I had to learn how to let go of my principles and my whatever 544 00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:54,140 and now learn how to embrace somebody's character, somebody's 545 00:29:54,140 --> 00:29:56,700 ideas, somebody's upbringing. Because we are from two 546 00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,220 different homes, two different families, right My. 547 00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:00,140 Parents are not cut. You sure? 548 00:30:00,140 --> 00:30:02,620 I think one thing I learnt was the length. 549 00:30:02,860 --> 00:30:05,300 I would go for somebody I love. Yeah. 550 00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:08,340 I mean, I didn't know. You don't understand. 551 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:10,700 So you are in a position. So boys, they shared my stories. 552 00:30:10,780 --> 00:30:12,900 I can never judge because I'm like bro. 553 00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:16,540 And to wonder the. Lens I would go the things I 554 00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:19,460 would do like luckily for, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 555 00:30:19,660 --> 00:30:20,460 yeah. See. 556 00:30:20,460 --> 00:30:23,580 Love. You know what people before. 557 00:30:23,580 --> 00:30:26,100 You know what people before, You know you before. 558 00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:29,900 Like and I think everybody. I don't drive out to him before 559 00:30:29,980 --> 00:30:31,980 yeah, to solve, to solve a problem. 560 00:30:31,980 --> 00:30:34,420 Yeah, more things, more things, I think. 561 00:30:34,940 --> 00:30:37,420 You knife you deep the thing. You realize that Hey, so me 562 00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:38,940 paying me like this what I'll do for now. 563 00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:41,740 So it makes you realize that even if you enter something new, 564 00:30:42,180 --> 00:30:45,060 you're capable of abcde. So now we'll watch Mongod, 565 00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:48,260 because me, I did too much. I did too much things. 566 00:30:48,420 --> 00:30:50,500 I think it becomes a problem as well when you're too available. 567 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,620 Yeah, it is. It is bad. 568 00:30:52,620 --> 00:30:56,540 And for people like him and I can link to that, it's a problem 569 00:30:56,540 --> 00:31:01,520 for us like. You can't help it help it this 570 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:07,960 deliberately planned. By the time I realized I'm 571 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:12,200 already doing it like I'm. Because of this, I so I am a 572 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,080 more heightened version where I can still be friends with my my 573 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,600 my exes or people I. Talked to me. 574 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,640 I can't because we didn't fight. It's not like we are dying. 575 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,120 Well, you just me my my, my. Just ended so you know where I 576 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,160 am you. Know. 577 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:29,680 Hello. Hi. 578 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:41,320 If you need me, you know it. Oh yeah. 579 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,840 No, no, no. And do those things I've learned 580 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,400 that. I've learned what a new means 581 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,360 and what's a yes means. Yeah, because. 582 00:31:47,950 --> 00:31:51,750 Aside everything, one of my best skills is I know who like you 583 00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:54,230 can go to for help me. That way I feel the machine 584 00:31:54,350 --> 00:31:55,390 because I live for my old boy. Yeah. 585 00:31:55,790 --> 00:31:57,510 Every man's strength is his connections. 586 00:31:57,830 --> 00:32:00,190 So definitely, if you look, you know, say if I go heaven, yeah. 587 00:32:00,950 --> 00:32:02,790 1.1 thing. No way. 588 00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:07,870 So you hit me up. If you hit me up, I would see if 589 00:32:07,910 --> 00:32:09,510 I can help. And with that, I'm not 590 00:32:09,510 --> 00:32:11,790 stretching myself. That be all within I. 591 00:32:12,190 --> 00:32:16,470 Tried, but I think that's one of the biggest lessons for me. 592 00:32:16,470 --> 00:32:18,730 So. It makes the healing slightly 593 00:32:18,730 --> 00:32:20,890 better. The only issue is the PTSD. 594 00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:26,450 Is the PTSD not because? You did like somebody, you. 595 00:32:27,690 --> 00:32:28,970 Like your money, delete some memory. 596 00:32:33,610 --> 00:32:36,130 You feel like you feel like somebody, but because of what 597 00:32:36,210 --> 00:32:38,050 happened in the past, you make study. 598 00:32:38,610 --> 00:32:39,170 See. I. 599 00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:41,530 Think that problem of voice will be very, very, very. 600 00:32:41,530 --> 00:32:44,850 Problem of no. Holding on to it'd be hard. 601 00:32:44,850 --> 00:32:47,250 It'd be hard You talk to I want to let go and embrace love 602 00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:49,650 again. But this is something something 603 00:32:49,650 --> 00:32:52,370 your ex used to do, right? That really hurts you. 604 00:32:53,170 --> 00:32:56,370 Now this new person does unconsciously or you're 605 00:32:56,370 --> 00:33:00,250 innocence but because you're here with that so the PTSD sets 606 00:33:00,250 --> 00:33:03,850 in and you become your your walls just was of Jaipur real 607 00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:07,530 quick And then you start like it's happened before but it's 608 00:33:07,530 --> 00:33:10,290 like OK, talk to me about it, right. 609 00:33:11,170 --> 00:33:13,820 What are your triggers? I will ask you what are your 610 00:33:13,820 --> 00:33:15,300 triggers? There are certain words you do 611 00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:17,220 probably don't even want to hear right. 612 00:33:17,220 --> 00:33:19,220 Because as I meet you may I will make you work. 613 00:33:19,220 --> 00:33:22,540 I don't want to go start afresh it be painful talking stage 614 00:33:22,540 --> 00:33:25,900 there hello. I knowing me knowing you try 615 00:33:25,900 --> 00:33:29,740 restaurants but the real work is when we actually start the 616 00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:32,380 relationship that's that's that's the work that's the work. 617 00:33:32,380 --> 00:33:36,300 That's when the fun moments are. Yeah actually a butterflies 618 00:33:36,300 --> 00:33:36,940 maybe. Right. 619 00:33:36,940 --> 00:33:39,700 So like, what are your triggers? Are they childhood traumas? 620 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:44,640 Like we could talk about Tom. Like, because by the time I will 621 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,240 be my most Oxy, I want you to be my girlfriend. 622 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,800 I did plan on our wedding for head inside. 623 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,000 I have vision, right? So I won't just open my mouth to 624 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,960 tell any girl I want you to be my girlfriend, right? 625 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,280 So before I tell you that I've already considered you on so 626 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,360 many levels, so tell me everything. 627 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,520 Like we are doing this for life. Talk to me about it. 628 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,240 Because if you withdraw down from me, I feel like you they 629 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,000 cheat me emotionally. Don't wait for me to mess up 630 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,000 before you bring your old stories. 631 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:15,400 I will feel very judged, right? Because I just want the best 632 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,360 way. I want this to work. 633 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,880 Maybe in the next episode we talk about how much you should 634 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,360 share in a relationship before it starts. 635 00:34:22,739 --> 00:34:32,219 Please remember me, mind you updated one just one degree. 636 00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:34,620 Said the last thing about breakups if then. 637 00:34:35,469 --> 00:34:36,750 The people you hold around you who? 638 00:34:36,870 --> 00:34:38,429 Are holding you down during that? 639 00:34:38,909 --> 00:34:40,110 If you're bored of directors, no. 640 00:34:40,110 --> 00:34:42,230 Boys, not the talk. If you're bored of directors. 641 00:34:42,590 --> 00:34:44,949 Like my. Friend may I can't work my best 642 00:34:44,949 --> 00:34:47,389 friend because if you know the we are not there hideout. 643 00:34:47,389 --> 00:34:50,110 So in every circle, you need to make sure that you have correct 644 00:34:50,110 --> 00:34:53,190 people that you can talk to about these things as it's 645 00:34:53,230 --> 00:34:54,830 either you're going to be drinking, you're going to be 646 00:34:54,830 --> 00:34:56,909 smoking, you're going to be partying so hard, like because 647 00:34:56,909 --> 00:34:58,750 you don't have these things. And the. 648 00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:00,750 Kind of mess you can create for yourself. 649 00:35:00,990 --> 00:35:04,310 And it's never ending loop. So me, I'm blessed because 650 00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:05,510 certain things will be happening. 651 00:35:05,510 --> 00:35:07,950 You even within a relationship that you don't understand. 652 00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:10,270 You need to have good accountability like people that 653 00:35:10,510 --> 00:35:12,470 say we can have this conversation. 654 00:35:12,590 --> 00:35:14,510 So for me, I have people like that around. 655 00:35:14,510 --> 00:35:17,710 I don't say this thing. I have people to run to. 656 00:35:18,190 --> 00:35:20,590 But if you check your circle ways, you see small should be 657 00:35:21,110 --> 00:35:24,350 laughing because me I need that if you cast. 658 00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:27,070 I need boys who would laugh for you down. 659 00:35:27,110 --> 00:35:29,110 I guess some particular Snapchat grouping laugh. 660 00:35:29,630 --> 00:35:31,990 Smart thing. See some snap not in a wirecard. 661 00:35:33,830 --> 00:35:38,270 They will progress. So for that group, but everybody 662 00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:41,150 knows who they are. Guys, yeah, let's talk those 663 00:35:41,150 --> 00:35:42,750 things. Then again, this reminder guys 664 00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:45,640 have conversations, have conversations, I do with my. 665 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:50,880 Metals build a hobby. Charlie, don't forget to follow 666 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,640 us everywhere. Instagram, Tiktok everywhere. 667 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,840 Two sites and vibes. We are here in patrol. 668 00:35:55,840 --> 00:36:03,800 Bodino My name. Is. 669 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:11,600 My name is. Thank you so much for the 670 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:12,360 opportunity.