1 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:13,800 I don't know whether it is stream in the stream, in the 2 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:22,120 stream, video in the stream, beeps, beep, streamer in the 3 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:31,920 stream. I will start a good day Where 4 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,040 Second service? Where? 5 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:40,920 Second service? One service and simple question. 6 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:51,200 It depends on what. Every individual for you see. 7 00:00:52,920 --> 00:01:02,440 I know people for the the the job is very diverse. 8 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,320 Yeah. You know we know about because 9 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:08,200 we do things we interconnected in the church. 10 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,920 You go married for your day or you go married for the church. 11 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,400 Yeah, no wedding it would be it would make like tour. 12 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,600 So then go do some for in church, you know. 13 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:28,400 Then go do yeah. So the final one for Holy Ghost 14 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:46,040 temple. So the Holy Ghost you didn't 15 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,720 tell us who. I'm very interested. 16 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,320 Simple question. The podcast. 17 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,080 Oh, you know. Yeah. 18 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,840 Yeah, You know. Yeah, Yeah. 19 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,280 I know, yeah. Yeah, by name. 20 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:03,040 By name, by name, before. So whether you AI or Siri, you 21 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,880 don't know. Maybe was it was prompted by 22 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,040 Surah. You don't know. 23 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,440 You don't know. You don't be saying he can't 24 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,039 tell you about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 25 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,400 Yeah. No, no. 26 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,360 No. Yeah, I had a DM from a lady 27 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,640 called. Yeah, I don't know if she's 28 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:23,800 real. Yeah, yeah, maybe. 29 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,840 Hello. Man, I really like your. 30 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,120 I really like your. Your perspectives on the 31 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,600 podcast. Hello. 32 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,720 Yeah. Whether you are out there or you 33 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,480 are here, whether you are out there or you are here, Yeah, we 34 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:40,280 love you. Thank you. 35 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:46,840 Thank you for listening to our podcast. 36 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,800 Okay. Now we go. 37 00:02:50,600 --> 00:03:18,960 We drag your you go get best, best, best, best friend, best 38 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,360 your woman knows. Say you get best friend. 39 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:29,520 You get female best friend. Your woman matters. 40 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,640 Arises, matters arises. No simple question. 41 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,000 Woman knows you get female best friend. 42 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:49,160 So why you don't take your woman with your best friend, your best 43 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:55,000 friend, your best friend take you Go and invent men for 44 00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:00,760 couples. And of the Son and of the Holy 45 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,720 Spirit. Yeah bro. 46 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:22,520 Yeah, bro. See, see. 47 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,320 I see. I see. 48 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:35,040 I see the. Italy, Italy. 49 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,280 Why do you? Think I said that, you see? 50 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,560 The thing is, let me explain. OK, no evidence. 51 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:46,280 Do we have to just for? No, no, I don't believe that. 52 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,560 I don't believe. Mickey A slim finish. 53 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,360 So I not get planned so I did with my sweet best friend if 54 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:57,840 you. Start a podcast, 55 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,520 CCCCC some some conversation. Be hotter. 56 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,400 Very hot. I won't make me. 57 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,800 I won't see you pull your mind. So I would take guide my life 58 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:32,320 because I need guidance. Charlie Man, because you face, 59 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:57,640 you get do you believe in traditional gender roles that 60 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:01,080 the woman, the woman is meant to take care of a home right. 61 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,240 I won't restricted to cooking that nonsense they've been 62 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,560 talking about. But like, do you believe the 63 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,600 woman is meant to keep the home? Right. 64 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,960 It encompasses everything. And then the man sort of 65 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,800 provides and protects, right? Yeah. 66 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,760 Are you a big believer in that? Yes. 67 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:20,400 And This is why I've always believed that a man who owns a 68 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,880 house, a woman builds at home. OK. 69 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,520 Even the Bible says whatever you give to a woman, they double it. 70 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,880 They multiply and multiply. You give a woman a sperm, she 71 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:37,160 gives you a baby. With the new code Mickey for you 72 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:48,600 and a man builds. A House A. 73 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,480 Woman builds a home. And when you give a woman a span 74 00:06:52,840 --> 00:07:06,040 of all the things, it's a process. 75 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,440 You know the way. OK, I will go where? 76 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:20,360 We don't know. And This is why if you give a 77 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,480 woman peace, you would have peace in your life. 78 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,480 If you give her trouble, you get trouble. 79 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:31,360 So if you really want to build something with a woman. 80 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,760 And now let's talk about the the gender roles. 81 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,520 The gender roles I've, I've never been a believer of. 82 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,680 This rule is purposely for a woman and this way is purposely 83 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,760 for a man. And This is why growing up I 84 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,720 never experienced all these things like gender roles and 85 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,960 everything. Like I'm from a broken home, so 86 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,280 these things I never got to see whose role is this and whose 87 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,680 role is that? But what I picked up from my 88 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,960 life is growing up. I love taking care of the home 89 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,040 like it gives me some kind of like. 90 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,160 Peace. Fulfillment, fulfillment and 91 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,880 everything. And I've become, I've embodied 92 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,200 it. So sometimes I've been told 93 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,840 myself, I feel like I'm a house as a right. 94 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,160 I'm not. I'm not the kind of person who 95 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:15,760 always be out. There. 96 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,880 So when you say taking care of a home, one doesn't encompass you 97 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,480 like you like you love to do the cleaning. 98 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,600 I love to do the You love to cook. 99 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,360 I love to cook. I like to take care of the 100 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,400 babies. Like those things give me a 101 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,840 sense of, yeah, and it's not a chore for me, right? 102 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,800 Even sometimes I can wake up in the morning and ask myself, what 103 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,760 am I supposed to do today? Then I start cleaning the house 104 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,559 because at least it makes me think, like process my thoughts 105 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,919 and everything. So that is me personally. 106 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,440 Yeah, I don't know for other guys, but I feel like everything 107 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:48,120 is 505020803070. So as the guy, you can come 108 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,200 home. Let's say you people are You're 109 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,120 in a relationship, but you people have a very busy life. 110 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,000 Now if you come home at 5:00, you don't expect the woman who 111 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,760 will come home at 8 to come and cook for you. 112 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,920 If you have a little knowledge in the kitchen, you know how to 113 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,720 do ex tubes. Do ex tube when she comes. 114 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,600 Hey babe, I made ex tube. So if you're hungry, I left home 115 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:17,520 for you in the district. I've I've never been. 116 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,400 People go down. I've never. 117 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,040 Been a believer of, like, this is a completely strict woman. 118 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:23,600 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 119 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,440 Everything has to be very fluid. You play your part. 120 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:34,400 You play your part, right. But at some point in time and in 121 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,640 my relationship, right, this is what I always say, pick three 122 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,800 things you can do in the house that is entirely yours. 123 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,400 I'm not going to force you to do it, but you know, this is your 124 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,640 role that you've taken upon yourself, and you will do it 125 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,320 right? Even if you don't do it, I will 126 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,800 do it. But then again, I'll tell you, 127 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,600 hey, you chose to do this thing, so make sure. 128 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:57,960 You keep it up. Right. 129 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,680 And that is it. You guys will be OK. 130 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:05,120 These are all discussions people have, like whilst you guys are 131 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:10,160 courting each other and getting into the the good face of your 132 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,000 relationship, you don't see this is a woman's job. 133 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,720 So at the end of the day when you come to the house and even 134 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,880 the shoes are here, you don't, you're waiting for her to come 135 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,680 and no, yeah, everybody is there. 136 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,520 We are not living in the and 80s anymore. 137 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:23,800 Presidents. What? 138 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:29,080 Bread by default. Life already is called you one, 139 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,800 yeah. Nobody is coming into your life 140 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,880 to be a slave. Yeah, obviously, yeah. 141 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,640 You understand, so make each other's life meaningful as. 142 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,360 Easy as it can. As easy as it can be, you wake 143 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,120 up in the morning if she's tired. 144 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,880 And there was this thing that I I watched today. 145 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,720 It was this YouTube, more like a YouTube shot. 146 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,560 And the guy was talking about he and his partner. 147 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,720 He woke up one day and he saw his partner watching the 148 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,720 cartoon. Now he was what was the word 149 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,680 like? He was confused. 150 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,960 Why there's a 30 year old woman watching the cartoons. 151 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:09,680 He didn't understand and this is what he said after watching the 152 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,360 cartoons. He went to the living room and 153 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,000 asked the girl, like, why were you watching the cartoon? 154 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,880 She doesn't know. She felt like at that moment she 155 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:21,240 felt an inner child out, so she felt like watching the cartoons. 156 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,600 Now I said man, what do you do? He tried to understand why she 157 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,200 was watching the cartoons. And at that point in time, she 158 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,960 doesn't need to be treated as a woman, She needs to be treated 159 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,520 as a child. Yeah, So embody her inner 160 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,320 childhood, play with her, let's say, feel like she's a baby. 161 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,600 You do those things. But then again, some random man 162 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:54,720 would think like conversation, whereby one person will get 163 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,120 annoyed, right? So Rose and. 164 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,840 All those big cast with that, you know you fight, finish. 165 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:06,360 It's it's it's it's Observation is understanding each other. 166 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,760 Know where his strength is. Know where your strength is. 167 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,840 You guys play on your strength and you play on your weaknesses 168 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,200 as each other. That's how you people build a 169 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,760 very solid relationship that is very difficult to break. 170 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,480 Even if there's misunderstanding, you know that 171 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,960 this is the reason why the person is acting the way they 172 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,520 are acting, and this is how I need to treat this situation. 173 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,200 Most guys always treat situations with anger because 174 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,080 they don't understand why the person is doing what they're 175 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,760 doing. And when you always treat 176 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,680 conversations like that or situations like that, you guys 177 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,880 will always fight. But do you? 178 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:44,640 Do you? Do you would you do you think 179 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,800 men are being more patient with their women? 180 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,320 As young men, let's let's not even go go go far back. 181 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,560 But like as a young man, do you think we're being do you think, 182 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,800 first of all, do you think we are learning enough to lead I? 183 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,680 Think, I think in our time. Or we are competing with the 184 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,920 women to who is more emotional. I think in our time the 185 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,440 understanding of relationship is is is a bit complicated in our 186 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,040 time because everybody wants to have their opinions out there. 187 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,600 But in you know the the former ages wasn't like that. 188 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,000 They tell you do this. This is how I came to meeting. 189 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,360 And everybody sort of follows those. 190 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,080 Yeah. In our time, it's like we're 191 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,240 giving the woman the voice. And I like the part that man was 192 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,440 talking about fluidity. With fluidity, there's no 193 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,480 rigidity. You don't have, like a point 194 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,280 where you say do this, do that. If you don't do this now we're 195 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,520 cancelling it off. It's like, I'm listening to you, 196 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:35,680 Eddie. OK, babe. 197 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,360 And this is how I want this to be done. 198 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,600 Or how do you think it tallies with your plan? 199 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,600 You're coming home at 5:00. I'm coming home at 7. 200 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,800 How can we make your work When children coming, how we make 201 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,360 your work. So it's just like constant 202 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,560 conversation. Personally, I grew up in a home 203 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,520 where I lived most of my my life with my mom, right? 204 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,640 So the old boy, no data. So most of the time you you see 205 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,680 on your, you see your mom like working alone in the house. 206 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,680 And the scare is every single time you're going out there to 207 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,880 look for maybe a woman or something, you're looking for 208 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:12,720 your mother in the world, so the woman coming in automatically. 209 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,640 Should. Clean should do like act of 210 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,360 service. That's what you're used to. 211 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,880 That's what you grew up on. Yeah, right. 212 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,880 But before somebody who say this is what my mother did, this is 213 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,160 what I want, right? But now you sort of learn, 214 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,440 right? You sort of see things on social 215 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,880 media. We on a podcast, and we're 216 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,000 sharing ideas. So I'm picking, saying things 217 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,400 often. I need to know for myself, OK? 218 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,720 The same things my my mom has done, or the same things my mom 219 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,640 is perfect at. But the person coming in might 220 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,760 be working as a doctor, right? Might be working as a banker, 221 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,080 might be coming home at odd hours, might not have one job, 222 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,640 but possibly two jobs, right? Might be doing other things that 223 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,240 my mum might not have been in that position. 224 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,440 So I'm learning I'm becoming better, right? 225 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,160 And education also goes a long way. 226 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,720 A lot of times education is like a blessing in disguise. 227 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,200 Sometimes because. People. 228 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:09,920 Want like, oh, I I'm, I'm a friend saying right, phone care 229 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:13,960 phone saying I'm always right. You know, everybody wants to be 230 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,120 at that level now. But for relationships to 231 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,000 survive, everybody needs to know that it's a work in progress. 232 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,040 That's the mentality. Every single person coming in 233 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,360 myself, it's a work in progress. I'm not perfect. 234 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,360 You're not perfect. We are learning and then at the 235 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,800 end of the day, we are growing in collaborativeness. 236 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,400 It's not compromised a lot of times if you understand that 237 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,360 it's collaboration and compromise, you know that, oh, 238 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,960 I've done this too many times. It's not about the number of 239 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,360 times you've done it. It's about you making sure that 240 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,520 you're doing it to make the person perfect and the person 241 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,160 also doing same for you in your imperfection. 242 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:48,880 So that comes to like the 3070, because I heard Michelle Obama 243 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,960 said it perfectly. You said life is not 5050. 244 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,080 You know, she said that there are moments where I'm a 70. 245 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,240 I'm like there are deficits, but we're supposed to make up for 246 00:15:59,240 --> 00:15:59,920 it. And it's true. 247 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,600 Only learning. Observation. 248 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,240 Sitting down knowing your partner like you said the 249 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:13,120 cartoons. Command command your morning why 250 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,600 you not commanding your morning and? 251 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,560 See, like the older generation do that, Yeah. 252 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:25,880 But in our time, if you like, you have that. 253 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:29,200 Like I see a younger generation doing that, but it's difficult 254 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,200 for me to like, see an older person, see their wife. 255 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,960 Enjoy that. Yeah, unless we've learned, 256 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,280 unless they've understood the person. 257 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,720 So every single time to me, if you learn a relationship, they 258 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,200 need to. Everybody needs to take a 259 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,640 posture of learning to like make the relationship try drive to 260 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,960 the apex that. I think, I think most of the 261 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,680 time, me, what I always tell myself is do what works for you, 262 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,520 right? Maybe today your woman cooked. 263 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,840 It doesn't mean she's a chef, right? 264 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,560 She doesn't want to become a chef who always has to cook for 265 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,560 the house. It's great. 266 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,560 Discuss, talk. What works? 267 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,359 Some women love to feed their men. 268 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,960 I want to cook for you. Even if I won't, I will come and 269 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,560 come for you. That's what works for the two of 270 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,720 you, right? Like that hits. 271 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:22,520 Me so it's some people too. It's like we are both too tired. 272 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,319 Your wife is the CEO of a bank. You are also a multi million 273 00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:28,440 whatever you hire a chef. Yeah. 274 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,160 It works right because they accommodate. 275 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,680 You're able to accommodate your schedules and everything. 276 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:39,040 Some people just, OK, we're going to meal prep for the week. 277 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,280 So on Saturdays, that's your bonding time. 278 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,360 You spend time in the kitchen. She you are cutting the onions 279 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:45,320 for her. Maybe even if you're not 280 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,440 cooking, you're not the one cooking. 281 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,600 You prepare the meat, you cut the onions. 282 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,680 You know that's your bonding time. 283 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,800 Just about the week. You've made cotuminous, You've 284 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,920 made beefs, you've made this for the week. 285 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,240 You pack your lunches, go to work. 286 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,280 There's also that where the conversation gets out of the 287 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,880 window is the woman is supposed to be in the kitchen and I 288 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,000 didn't cook for me. And if it works for the two of 289 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,800 you that the woman takes care of the home, the man goes out to 290 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,280 bring money, so be it. Discuss, discuss, discuss, 291 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,760 discuss, discuss. That's it for me. 292 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,080 Like, even if that's what you start off with, what if it 293 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,600 changes with time, right? Are you evaluating the 294 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,640 relationship? OK, maybe your wife didn't have 295 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,680 a job, so she used to cook. She used to have a lot of time. 296 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,880 Maybe before the kids came, she had a lot of time. 297 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,280 Now the kids are in. Things have to change. 298 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,160 What's the plan? Are we getting an are we getting 299 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,240 an extra hand? Is your mum coming to help? 300 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,240 Are we getting the help? Whatever, like discuss. 301 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:46,720 I don't like it when this whole conversation about when when one 302 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,440 random girl will come and tweet something about right now they 303 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,800 say if you be caring, boyfriend means say your pocket. 304 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,080 It's like I saw. I saw a very stupid tweet. 305 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,000 She was like, she was like there's a there's a certain 306 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,760 level a man can take you to that you won't even think of 307 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,160 cheating. I'm like, why is it conditional 308 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,440 fidelity? Why should I take you to a 309 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,720 certain level before you think about not cheating? 310 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,560 Don't you respect yourself enough not to cheat? 311 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,480 Right. You should do yourself a favor 312 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,760 but not allowing another man to, you know. 313 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,560 But it's like you're doing me. Why should I take you to a 314 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,720 certain level? It doesn't make sense. 315 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,000 And that whole level should talk about the money. 316 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,520 It be money. Poor man who DC life top right? 317 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,960 There's always a condition to it. 318 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,120 So discuss, discuss, discuss, discuss, discuss by when they 319 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:36,240 might. I would talk even quiet today 320 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,320 what you like when you what? Why are you listening? 321 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:46,600 Are they talking to listening like when you ask a simple 322 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:56,680 question when you they married. OK, OK, so answer the question 323 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,320 first. Answer the question. 324 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,360 You can't tell me what to do, I think on the sport. 325 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:34,160 You can't tell me what to do. Yeah, yeah, Cook for us, my 326 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,880 brother. Just like Mana said. 327 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:42,040 And so like typical example, I also came from a room that when 328 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,320 I grew up like I mean father, mother, they are there but yeah, 329 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,560 all the time they were separated but they were still in the same 330 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,200 house. OK, so when we will cook on the 331 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:53,440 side that he also cooks like so going up like that maybe my 332 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,960 house is very big so my dad was on one side, my mom. 333 00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,720 So you see, mommy will cook, and you as a child or. 334 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,000 You have to decide. Where you want to eat. 335 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,720 Oh, wow. It wasn't really a problem, 336 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,480 yeah, but then, I mean, I could eat Mommy, did I eat that? 337 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,160 It wasn't the problem because even though they were separated, 338 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,760 they were sitting there now, and there was that respect among 339 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,280 them. They accepted, but they had not 340 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,720 moved around because they understood that he had two kids, 341 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,000 I mean. He had to. 342 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,520 He had kids that he had to take care of. 343 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,640 So we were still in the home, but what I picked up from that 344 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:29,160 is the fact that my daughter's certain level of of work my dad 345 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,680 was doing that I had to learn from. 346 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:36,280 He said that he learned to do things his own way as a man, and 347 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,480 that he didn't wait or depend on the woman to come in and help 348 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,120 him do things that he could do. So ironing his things, he fools 349 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:47,080 his things, doing those things, those times when growing up like 350 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,200 his bosses and those things he he now will stand iron them and 351 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:55,200 fool them like there and pack them into his wardrobe and 352 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,560 everything. So there are some things that 353 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,560 naturally growing up you could see him. 354 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,760 Doing and you learnt. And you didn't even have to. 355 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,800 To be told that Salo Junior And now we see I do this, do that, 356 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,360 do that. So from that general aspect it 357 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,000 was there. Like as a man, there are things 358 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:16,280 that you need to naturally be able to do Even if there's any 359 00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:19,840 woman in your life, then then so like maybe wash them even if you 360 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,440 have a car, then turn your car. Maybe put it on me personally 361 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,680 when I get home. Oh, my shirts, they are through 362 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,040 it. It's me. 363 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:32,000 I mean, but. And I've had ladies come in my 364 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,440 life who also know that when they come in, when they see 365 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,760 something, like when I get up from the room or the house and 366 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,960 they get up, they're not. OK, let me put this in, please 367 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,160 let me put this in there. There are also some ladies who 368 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:47,240 get up and not do not do that. It's up to me as a man to to to 369 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,800 be able to do it if they're not there to do it or learn that if 370 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,120 this lady doesn't know how to do this. 371 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,960 And maybe for example if I throw my shirt and lady won't pick it 372 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,280 up and put it somewhere they will become a problem. 373 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,080 Because when I'm I get married to someone like that and I throw 374 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,400 my shit she might also end up coming and throw her shit and 375 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,640 the room or the house would be so clumsy. 376 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,880 So, so, so, so all these things I picked up and realized that 377 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,040 sometimes that's why we we get very people who compliment us in 378 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,840 a certain way. So that even if I understand 379 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,480 you, like you said perfectly, if I understand maybe ID you are 380 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,680 the man and you like to have your things, maybe you want to 381 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,040 put and I know you know we want to put this thing in this 382 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,600 particular way. If the woman comes and wants to 383 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,960 change it, you have to have a discussion already. 384 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,880 I want to. Put this here because we will 385 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,480 fight. But there's the understanding 386 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,600 that the lady has to compliment some aspects of you that you may 387 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,600 be lacking. Like I'm saying with my socks, 388 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,000 Oh, and I leave them here, then, then, then. 389 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,440 But it doesn't mean that I will iron my things or pack my things 390 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,120 everything with. But the lady will have to know 391 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,200 that, oh, Junior Diana already was Stefano Man, when he comes, 392 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,440 he said. Or is this. 393 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,480 He puts them in this particular way, but he wants. 394 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,480 If you are the woman, you understand that, help him or try 395 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,960 and show him how to you can you can even put the basket at the 396 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,960 door so that when he gets there he wants to move his shirt. 397 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,000 You don't put on a chair, he put in the basket. 398 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,000 That's a complimentary way helping the man. 399 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,400 So maybe you've not stopped the man from moving his shirt and 400 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,680 putting on the chair and you stop the man from you. 401 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,920 A lot of the man how to put a shirt in. 402 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,360 The basket. Just buy. 403 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,800 There's a question like sort of bothering me a bit. 404 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,120 So, you know, just as we said, we're in a generation where we 405 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,040 learn more, we know more, There's so much knowledge. 406 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,280 But it feels like, and I'm just speculating, it feels like in 407 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,760 our generation, where there's so much knowledge, marriages don't 408 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,840 thrive because of the the the gender awareness we have is 409 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,440 here. But at the end of the day, 410 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,240 marriages are on a decline. But those days where I say. 411 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,000 Or bats in our kitchen, or Burma go out, go and do all those kind 412 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,520 of things. They stay in the marriage 413 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,000 longer. I just want to understand the 414 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,040 dynamic. We know we know so much, but we 415 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,280 do little. And also one that I've learned 416 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,400 is that sometimes and I've realized and I've met people who 417 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,640 have been married for 10/20 and they tell me that in our current 418 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,920 generation what is happening wrong is that the expectations 419 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,840 that we have of each other has skyrocketed. 420 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,320 So I that I expect that even though we know a lot of things 421 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,440 we're not doing them but we're expecting that. 422 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,480 I know this, but I'm expecting Stefan to know this and do it 423 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,240 and and I won't do it. So we know that these are the 424 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,440 things that we need to do. We're not doing them because we 425 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,920 expect that our mind to this girl I've met this maybe I draw 426 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,760 my fear whatever. But a person needs to know this 427 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,160 and do it much more than I'm doing. 428 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,520 And so we know it. We know all that like we're 429 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,560 saying here, we know a lot of things. 430 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,760 We've seen marriages and funny enough like it's on the rise. 431 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,600 People say that now marriages that like our generation 432 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,400 marriages are not doing so well. Their divorce rates are high 433 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,080 it's because their their expectation levels have gone so 434 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,360 high that we we want to certain things. 435 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,040 It's like, want to see a perfection? 436 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,320 Aspect before but who sets those expectations? 437 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:54,760 No, it's us. Exactly. 438 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,160 Let me we do that to ourselves. I think. 439 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,520 I think we've missed the basics. I think we skip the basics and 440 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,200 try to do the extra stuff. And the basics is. 441 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,920 The basics that I just want to. Understand that, let me choose 442 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,960 something because of. Like I said, my mom, my dad 443 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,240 thing, my mom, my dad thing. Like so like we're saying they 444 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,720 brought my mom to marry my dad. Now that points they may not be 445 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,360 met, but there was respect on from the onset. 446 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,520 OK, do you get it? And there was our respect. 447 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,080 It wasn't laugh. I mean laugh may have come in. 448 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,120 Eventually. But there was respect and those 449 00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,200 communication. So even when they started, they 450 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,240 were working together. My mom came and was helping my 451 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,200 dad. They were working together and 452 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,920 they built something together. At that period, there's not 453 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,840 respect and that's committed. My mom was more like a 454 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:42,920 housewife. They didn't know they were going 455 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:47,320 to to the shop and all but she comes back and assumes the role 456 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,160 of the housewife and still doesn't work and takes care of 457 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,040 us does that respect there and those there wasn't that 458 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:56,720 necessarily the only expectation would have been maybe she wasn't 459 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,440 a man provides for the house and the family. 460 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,480 But you see that might even though he ended up I mean 461 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,280 separated but there was because that response he had and also 462 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,160 for what they wanted. They still couldn't necessarily 463 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,200 separate and go their own ways. They still stayed in the same 464 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,680 house and we're still working once and 1/2. 465 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,680 It goes at points. I mean it changed my mom was not 466 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,280 working for my dad. So things change. 467 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,800 You get it. So I think that is about our 468 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,680 current generation and the fact that we know that these things 469 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,920 are what we need to do or we still have put certain 470 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,760 expectation on each each of our source because we want a lot of 471 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,000 things now we all a woman who wants to be a career woman. 472 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,720 I am perfectly want my wife to be a career man to be able to 473 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,680 support it. But at what point do we, do we 474 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:43,800 not have expectations of hair? So a point that I want to see to 475 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,320 be doing this, that's. Where the. 476 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,800 Problem is, let me say something first and foremost. 477 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:55,640 Practice makes perfection. Practice, sorry, practice makes 478 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,880 permanent. If you practice the wrong thing 479 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:02,440 for a very long time, it states. Now, where I'm going with that 480 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,320 phrase is this. You're talking about 481 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,480 expectations. Now this is the thing. 482 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:12,360 If I expect you to do this and I don't communicate it, how do you 483 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:16,640 do it? A lot of people see we live in a 484 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:21,840 society whereby we expect without teaching, if you expect 485 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:26,960 me to be the top of my game, I don't know what is the 486 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,480 definition of top of my game to you. 487 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,880 Tell me when I understand that I practice it. 488 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,800 When I practice it for a very long time, he becomes you can. 489 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,200 Meet somebody and the person says I do this, I do. 490 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:47,120 That I do that, yeah. And I think some of the 491 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,560 Christian girls who fight me on this thing. 492 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,880 This is the. Thing. 493 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,120 This is the thing. We always have this notion of 494 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,400 getting to know somebody without actually spending time with the 495 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,680 person. You like this guy. 496 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,000 You've been with this guy for six months. 497 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,480 Everything he can tell you to make your head big. 498 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,920 Spend time with this guy being very intentional and observing. 499 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,200 We'll see this guy go and spend 2 weeks at this place. 500 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:23,680 He can't pretend. It's delicate. 501 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:28,000 It's like here and there matter. There's that point where I mean 502 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,760 Christianity, but as I mean she's she's building her life, 503 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,000 building a career. How can I have? 504 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,280 Literally spend even when we got three days if it works for you 505 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,560 if it. Works if it works for you, see. 506 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,840 If it works for you, you can do it. 507 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,320 You know, do You know do? You know, let me tell you, let 508 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,880 me tell you this. I'm coming. 509 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:49,720 I'm coming. I'm a Christian. 510 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:50,720 But I'm going to tell you something. 511 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,400 I'm going to be very real with you. 512 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,520 Most of the marriages that have collapsed in the church is 513 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,920 because people were surprised in marriage. 514 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,720 People entered marriage and was like, I thought, but I thought 515 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,720 because you never got to know that guy, the only time you 516 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,840 spend with him is when you go outside because you are not 517 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,320 supposed to be in his house, you're not supposed to be in his 518 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,640 room. And then once you started the 519 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,360 marriage, like, see, a lot of Christians are suffocating. 520 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,760 They don't talk. I'm telling you, people don't go 521 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,240 for dates. People didn't do stuff together. 522 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,120 And it's good. OK, let's be real. 523 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,880 Your pastor can see everything. When you start fighting, he will 524 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,480 come and talk to you and go back to his house. 525 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,280 You know, eventually when he leaves a only where I'm with you 526 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,400 do you know, See if it works for you. 527 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,280 If it works for you, spend as much time as you can go. 528 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,760 See each other because see. Statistics are dead. 529 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,440 Statistics are dead. Statistics are dead. 530 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,200 People that spent a lot of time with their partners before they 531 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,640 got married, they stayed longer. I am telling you see a movie 532 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:59,320 another eventually. See if it works for you and if 533 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,320 you can. Obviously a girl who lives with 534 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,680 her parents that needs permission and has to be home by 535 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:04,960 night. Obviously she can't come and 536 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,640 spend a lot of time. But as much as you can, if it's 537 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,000 during the day that works, try to be with her. 538 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,720 Pay attention as the ladies to pay attention to the guy. 539 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,360 Like see. You will never get to know 540 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,000 someone without spending time with the other person. 541 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,200 See. You know, See. 542 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,040 Then they like to go 2 years just to blast the tooth. 543 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,920 Blast them, yeah. You Bob, people can't pretend to 544 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,240 it's until you actually spend. Cause first time the text I 545 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:35,400 message you go feel like because there's a face behind the person 546 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,160 right now. Spend time with the person and 547 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,920 see and see. Let me go back to something when 548 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:44,760 God was driving Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, he said 549 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,600 the man was swept before he eats. 550 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,040 That's for provision. It's basic. 551 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,760 That's God's design. Let's not jinx it with feminism 552 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,720 and stupid, whatever God said Adam would break his sweat. 553 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,040 He said the woman would walk. Labor. 554 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,520 The pain in labor, right? Childbirth. 555 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,280 That's why women go through cramps and whatever. 556 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,560 Biologically, as a man, you can't even have it if you wanted 557 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,640 to, right? You can't even support your wife 558 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,800 with pregnancy if you wanted to. If she's carrying triplets and 559 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,400 you wanted to take one for it, you can't. 560 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:21,040 It's God's design. No matter how much we want to 561 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,320 balance things, some things remain. 562 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:27,360 Default something, something. Funny thing. 563 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,840 Just cross my mind. Stephan will defect. 564 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,400 The way that trans people will come comment on this thing. 565 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,520 No. But see see we are we are 566 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:44,480 Christians so we are we are speaking our truth they say they 567 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,560 say somebody this thing is stupid. 568 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,840 They say they say you be atheist way you want some breast. 569 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:54,960 If you put for them you know they believe in God by the you 570 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,760 put for them anyway So no matter how much I I know we are 571 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,600 learning. We are trying not to abide in 572 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:01,440 each other. We are learning. 573 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,200 We are trying to balance things. Sometimes you have to do the 574 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,000 cooking, Sometimes God knows why it's meant to. 575 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:07,840 Your basics. The basics. 576 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,880 This is the basics I'm talking about. 577 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,920 God cares, man with some things, God cares woman with some 578 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,480 things. You can be trans, you can go and 579 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,760 do BBL you can do and do every stupid thing you want bro. 580 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,880 God's design is God's. You can't jinx it. 581 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:23,960 I think you're easy. Atra. 582 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,800 We feel like because of formal education. 583 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,520 So now we know so much you're not you're not more intelligent 584 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,440 than God. God's design is that a man. 585 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,560 God knows why he give men more physical strength. 586 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,640 God knows why men build skyscrapers. 587 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,520 The women that are feminine in their natural feminine 588 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,280 embodiment that understand this, that know that I'm going into a 589 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,400 man's life to be a woman. It's not because I'm a slave, 590 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:50,200 the fact that I cook for the man. 591 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,440 I mean DB when you cook for the man, you also eat. 592 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,480 So if you have kids, if you have a family and you're cooking for 593 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,040 the family, it doesn't make you a slave. 594 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,200 Most importantly, that's your husband. 595 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,600 Appreciate it. Does he perform his fundamental 596 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,200 roles as the man? Right. 597 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,719 It's OK if you speak and you go like, OK, this is how our 598 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,719 relationship is going to go. They're going to split rent, 599 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,880 5050, everything. So they chose to let's share 600 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,199 among ourselves. Cool. 601 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,480 But last last last last last. If thieves come the house the 602 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,239 woman will call the man. It's it's. 603 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,520 So let's stop deceiving ourselves. 604 00:34:25,639 --> 00:34:28,000 We are Christians. Let's just stick to the basics. 605 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,080 God gives certain things to the man. 606 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,159 There is a reason why men we wake up and telling you won't go 607 00:34:34,159 --> 00:34:36,639 chop CEO. I'm not saying say women can't 608 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,199 be CEOs but you see that drive more in men. 609 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,920 Yeah it's natural. It's biological like we just 610 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,239 wake up and we are trying to you want to be something right? 611 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,080 And there are things that women do better than us. 612 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:53,719 Like if women come your house or organization, organization, 613 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,960 everything. Just women know how to put 614 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,560 things in order. And it's a natural. 615 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,840 It's a natural. You, you can't do anything about 616 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,280 it. You get it. 617 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,360 It's some things just really come see women, they keep money 618 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,640 past men and they lie. They know how to keep. 619 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,800 They know how to hold things. They know how to multiply 620 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,600 things. That's how God made us. 621 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:15,600 So before we go and add the other things, let's start from 622 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,360 there. What are your strengths as a 623 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,160 man? What are your strengths? 624 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,160 As a. Woman, let's start from there. 625 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,200 After we've sorted that out, then now we can discuss the top 626 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:25,920 UPS. You know somebody. 627 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,280 That's why I said my mom loved loved to cook for us. 628 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,360 She didn't feel like a slave. Or she did. 629 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,560 But that doesn't mean I expect when I'm marrying someone, I 630 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,240 said that you'd be my mother. I'm not looking for a mom. 631 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:39,040 I'm looking for a partner, a life partner. 632 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:41,720 So how do I partner with you to make each other's life better, 633 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,240 right. Let's stop deceiving ourselves 634 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:45,240 with man. It's not equality. 635 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,320 We are not equal. We're not equal in any way. 636 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,400 We're not equal equity. If there is a rule in the 637 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,080 business, give the woman the fair chance to go and interview 638 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:56,720 as well. If she qualifies, why not? 639 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,600 I always use this, the Vodafone CEO Patricia, right. 640 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,400 I always use that as an example, right? 641 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,920 She qualified, she has it. The the MasterCard Foundation 642 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,240 woman right here, she qualifies. She had it. 643 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,680 Give it to them, They qualify. They interviewed. 644 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,320 I'm sure it's 123456 interviews. They aged it, they got it, give 645 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,400 it to them. But we are not equal. 646 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,800 We're not God. God knows why men can carry 647 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:24,200 loads, build skyscrapers, and God knows why the women can 648 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:29,240 support the men, right? And it's it's okay like cooking 649 00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:31,000 for your man doesn't make you asleep. 650 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,440 You are not stupid. You are not less of a human 651 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,920 being, right? And that's why now men are also 652 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,360 like then I won't give you any money until we are married. 653 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,040 And then, like, I stop all these bullshit and nonsense 654 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,360 conversations like I have. This funny conspiracy theory, 655 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,440 right? So I personally believe that 656 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,720 there's a systematic agenda against like I was. 657 00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:52,280 Going to say that they are trying to make everybody an ATM 658 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,040 machine, a working ATM machine. Women, women. 659 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,520 That's why we have so many broken homes. 660 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,240 Women go into the workforce. You to go and work. 661 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,480 You too. You can make your own money. 662 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,760 You don't need men. You know they are driving. 663 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:07,200 It's it's it's all capitalism. It's all stupid stuff right? 664 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,560 Families where kids grow up and they they they have like the 665 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,080 best upbringing is when both parents are around. 666 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,280 Look at typical African American societies. 667 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,520 Typical African American Charlie. 668 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,000 Then get single parents destroyed, destroyed. 669 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,920 The worst bunch of people. You can trust me. 670 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,800 It's crazy. And The funny thing is they're 671 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:32,160 dwindling down, all these kind of precise narratives to like 672 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,640 people here because of the Internet. 673 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,600 And someone jumps on TikTok and your whole life, your whole 674 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,400 narrator understanding, your whole career understanding is on 675 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,680 TikTok. It's on the Internet. 676 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,480 And. They just listen to someone's 677 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,600 perspective and even the person just shoots a facade of what 678 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,840 they're in, right? It's not even authentic. 679 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:54,240 I always tell people that the 1st, the 1st idea of marriage or 680 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,080 relationship is what you saw in your house. 681 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:57,360 You can't skip it. That's right. 682 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,640 But how you saw your dad, You know there are men who abuse 683 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,720 their wives because they saw their dad slapping their moms 684 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:06,520 and they think it's normal. So there's a lot of you see that 685 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,080 the first marriage you saw was the one with your parents, 686 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:15,080 except maybe sorry to your dad had passed, your mom had passed. 687 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:19,680 It's OK. But yeah, but the first exactly. 688 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,160 If you are a man and you grew up with your father and there was 689 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,480 no woman present in the house, you have to learn how to be with 690 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,040 a woman, right? If you are a girl and you spend 691 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,000 and that's why you see this thing, it will be my personal 692 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:36,280 experience. Most men have the worst trouble 693 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,080 dating women without further figures in the house. 694 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,640 If you like, pay attention, Yeah, go on the Internet, all 695 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,040 the ladies showing their bum and then go check where the map. 696 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,320 Oh yeah, this, this, this leadership, this thing is said, 697 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,040 this thing is said. I think I had a conversation 698 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,160 with a friend of mine and I was like, when you see a girl from 699 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,840 your home, you can tell when you see a girl. 700 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:02,160 It's so easy from your house. It's so easy so my extension. 701 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,040 She will treat you the way if you if you, if you start talking 702 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:06,760 to a girl, she starts insulting her brothers. 703 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,400 She's insulting. She talks with daddy. 704 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,320 Now, beforehand, by extension, she's not going to regard you. 705 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,320 That's how it is basic. So let's stop all these nonsense 706 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,920 chats in equality. I get. 707 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,960 I get the agenda. I get the agenda. 708 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,040 And also I want to say this, there's this phrase that's that 709 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:30,320 we all accustomed to, and it's it's, it's, it's, it's it goes 710 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:31,880 like this. They say the man is the head, 711 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,640 but we forget the man is the head. 712 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,360 A relationship. Marriage is a body. 713 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,480 The man is the head. What was the head? 714 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,160 Is the neck. The neck. 715 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,000 You the woman, you are the what? You are the neck. 716 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,160 And I feel like men and women forget this thing a lot. 717 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,960 A man says I'm the head of the family. 718 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,080 Everything I say goes no, but you don't have the family. 719 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,720 Everything you see doesn't go. Somebody is holding you down. 720 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,000 When you make your decision, you drop it down to the next 721 00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,640 hierarchy of person. Babe, I need to make this 722 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,440 investment. But what do you think? 723 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,360 Because if that investment fails, it affects the neck. 724 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,840 Of course, when you carry the load and your head is spinning, 725 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,040 you who surfaced next? Your neck. 726 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,400 So if you're making a decision, hey babe, I'm making this 727 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,880 decision, what do you think? Necessarily? 728 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,080 It doesn't mean that whatever she says is the final say, but 729 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:27,720 you are the head. And now This is why men see love 730 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:32,480 from the angle of respect. If I come to you and respect my 731 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,560 opinion and you give me an honest opinion, I respect your 732 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,560 opinion. I feel like you love me enough 733 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,240 not to make this some mistakes that will affect both of us. 734 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,320 Because at the end of the day if I make a mistake the person is 735 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,760 going to affect more is the man. Because at the end of the day 736 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,960 he's he's going to insult himself, feel depressed about 737 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,880 making that bad decision. But then again you rely on who? 738 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,920 The woman. So everything is networking. 739 00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,760 So like when you understand all these things, when you're in a 740 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,960 relationship, you know that it's not just about you making 741 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,880 decisions and everything. You can't say because you're the 742 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,760 man, You take money and go and buy something and then you feel 743 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,920 like, yeah, I'm the man, I've done whatever I need to do and 744 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,400 blah blah, blah. But at the end of the day, it's 745 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,520 it's a whole community of this thing. 746 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,200 Yeah, coming back at him about anyone watching and. 747 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:30,600 Listen, the whole idea is that the roots cause or the roots is 748 00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:33,520 from how or what we saw when growing up. 749 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,600 Yeah, the orientation. Orientation, the socialization. 750 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,240 How we saw our parents live, How so? 751 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,400 So if you are someone who saw your father and mum available, 752 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,560 always the supportive and all. Some of the biggest blessings 753 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:46,800 people take for granted. Yeah. 754 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:47,360 Yeah. Privilege. 755 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:50,600 Yeah. One of one of the biggest 756 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,040 blessings people take for granted. 757 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,000 Yeah. If you saw both of your parents 758 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,520 together love glitches together you have there been so much 759 00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,440 spending time and that privilege. 760 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:05,960 You also owe yourself to give to to do best best for whoever 761 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:10,920 you're going to be with and have that same was the word have that 762 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:17,320 same and the word replicate the same for your for your future. 763 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:22,040 If unfortunately if you didn't have your father around and you 764 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:27,040 only had the love of your mom, don't take certain things for 765 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:29,760 granted and don't take certain things that you didn't get to 766 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,120 the man and expect a man to be some things that he's not. 767 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,720 Just try and spend time with a man. 768 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:40,280 Learn more, be ready to learn. Have a have a spirit or 1/2 that 769 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:44,160 is always willing to learn and don't take a stand. 770 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:49,440 Your man, your man, they sound like have. 771 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,960 This is, this is, this is, this is, this is more of like 772 00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:00,120 personal experience, right? Every relationship I go into, 773 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:04,840 this is what I told them. I don't know what a good home is 774 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,120 like. I don't know what a good love is 775 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,440 like. I know what a bad home is like 776 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,000 because that is where I'm coming. 777 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:14,040 You don't want to be that. I know what a bad relationship 778 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:15,880 is like because I've seen all those things. 779 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:20,400 So I don't tolerate certain things that I have seen before. 780 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,400 Yeah, that. Looks like so. 781 00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:27,120 That is how I transform my life whenever I see the bad things. 782 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:31,320 I tell you I'm used to this and this is not what is supposed to 783 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:35,240 be, you understand? So if you're showing me 784 00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:37,000 something that is new, I accept it. 785 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,400 But if you show me something that is bad, then I call it out 786 00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:51,400 to tell you this used. To it.