1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,560 Have you been rejected before? Rejected. 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,960 Rejected. Rejected. 3 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,640 NASA, we are. NASA United. 4 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,480 MASA. Assembly. 5 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,800 Enkawa, Manchester United you wanted. 6 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,240 We are a team in transition. No, let me tell you. 7 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,400 Something the word of the. Lord says they that wait upon 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,840 the Lord shall renew their strength. 9 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,560 Bible, we are renewed. As Manchester United Great. 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,480 Devils, we are not the Bible. The Red Army. 11 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,480 The Red Red Devils. The red. 12 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,280 Army, your club, their fortune. No, but when be the last time 13 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,520 you at the hype united. When be the last? 14 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,200 Time which you send me. Oh, you say they go play finals 15 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,280 so we will be here as. I send you. 16 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,640 And you won't know their bed, their bed then you see, you know 17 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,720 good. I know see maybe if we maybe if 18 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:57,480 we record finish our good check we're about to. 19 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:12,120 Cook, we're about. To sign, you know, relegation, 20 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,360 relegation. Have you seen his convention 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,000 with? He's good. 22 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,040 So yeah, I mean almost anyone. Actually think, come to think of 23 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,160 it. Konya or something? 24 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,600 Matthews Konya. Yeah, yeah. 25 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,360 But we go sign. We go sign. 26 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,200 We. Want money not come anyway? 27 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,120 United is because Sancho is leaving. 28 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,240 No. But not even if not Chelsea. 29 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,880 I think he will be sold. Not another law. 30 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,280 In case you are surprised why we are discussing football, it's 31 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:44,000 one of those things, yeah, so. We are discussing football, so 32 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,200 yeah, no. Uh huh, I think. 33 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,080 I think. The lap The lap rejected United. 34 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,720 Of course have you been? Rejected. 35 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,160 Before rejected. Oh yeah, rejected. 36 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,680 Rejected and you're buying your Juma or bar Rejected. 37 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:05,320 Oh yeah, my first a. Woman bounced you before so then 38 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,080 you'd be like I'll be. Young, I'll be young. 39 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,000 Primary. Yeah. 40 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,920 And she not like grade, I think was like grade was it grade 41 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,320 eight, grade 8 or grade 9? I think it wasn't that deep, but 42 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,120 she was like a. Year experiments. 43 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,480 Yeah, it wasn't like a year ahead of me and I I'd always. 44 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,280 And I will see you and I'll pay. Hey bro. 45 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,880 Oh, charming. No, the way it kind of be 46 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,000 feeling, I didn't understand it, like I clearly didn't understand 47 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,560 it. And that had it's it's good this 48 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:35,320 came out because at some point that put some trauma in my head, 49 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,800 the rejection, the rejection thingy, because I always wanted 50 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,560 to be very sure before I put the question across because this 51 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,800 person I was close with this person used to talk at night. 52 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,600 Everything was. That is, that's it. 53 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,320 And when my boys reporters. Found me and then picked me out 54 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,200 of the marriage because who? Who? 55 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,720 Who Who get the money? Who get the money? 56 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,560 Grace found me. Thank God for Grace. 57 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,280 So, yeah, at some point it was difficult for me to even 58 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,200 approach anybody and talk to the person because it was somebody I 59 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,960 was talking to on a regular and I thought, we're there. 60 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:15,320 And I put the conversation across and she's like, no, I 61 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,240 think I'm focusing on my GCSE. All right. 62 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:19,800 Wrong. What? 63 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,440 OK, no problem. Now she finished the GCSE. 64 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,000 I. Think it was a legend reason 65 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,000 though. You see, there's the thing 66 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,960 people, people. I always say that she, she 67 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,200 didn't like me. That's it. 68 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:35,680 Like just because when she was done with the GCSE she's the 69 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,680 only person I'd see on this port I proposed to twice. 70 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,080 I went back. Oh yeah, I know. 71 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,720 Not mixed up, say GCSE. So when she was done with the 72 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,960 GCSE, in my mind I was like, what's up? 73 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,640 Like you had done with the GCSE, so what's up? 74 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,120 And then she started dragging her feet and then she started 75 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,640 talking to people about it. So. 76 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,440 So the. Exam was just a convenient 77 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,320 excuses in the beginning I felt so then she started to she 78 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,080 started to find different excuses and. 79 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,040 I was like Brad this and it hit me hard. 80 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,320 At what point did you know when to give up, when to let go? 81 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:10,600 I think at a point where I was feeling so much, I didn't expect 82 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,240 that statement to get to me that much. 83 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,720 Yeah, right. But for me to at that young age 84 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,839 be feeling that, that level of emotion for another person and I 85 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,840 couldn't fathom what it is or what it was. 86 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,560 I was like, Nah, I can't, I can't invest so much emotion 87 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,960 into somebody. And the crazy thing was then we 88 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,640 used to share like my locker was above and then hers was like 89 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,200 beneath, right? I don't know. 90 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,320 Who did I? Who did I? 91 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,240 Miss SO. Before I go to my locker I go go 92 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,800 open my locker. Then I always they meet up and I 93 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,480 makuma to me too. Charlie. 94 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,560 So anytime I see him, they're my heart's court. 95 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,240 Anytime I see this girl, they're my heart's court. 96 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,720 But guess what? At that age. 97 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,960 Guess what, there was a, there was a crazy twist. 98 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,680 Now I started having affection for another person and it felt 99 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,320 like the other person just came in and then took away that that 100 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,920 feeling as to whether or not it was replacement or substitution. 101 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,160 I don't know if it's a good thing another person just 102 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,920 absorbed all this emotion and then, you know, I started 103 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,800 gravitating towards that person. That's a whole conversation. 104 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,880 It's. Just you could also call it that 105 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,440 you moved on. Did I move? 106 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,360 Did you accept at some point that it wouldn't work or you 107 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,080 were still trying to process? Why? 108 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,000 Why would you reject? Me Why? 109 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,120 And was. Just was it in that phase that 110 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,520 you met the new person? No, I think when I met the new 111 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,080 person, I stopped asking myself those questions, right. 112 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,480 But there was that kind of emotion all the time. 113 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,040 So I felt I was a good guy. I came from a home where you're 114 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,360 made to think if you're a good guy. 115 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,920 You good things will happen to you Exactly 1 of the. 116 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,520 Biggest oh, scams, yeah. Mistakes. 117 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,520 I wouldn't even call it a scam but I think it becomes poisonous 118 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:52,960 as we grow up. Right? 119 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,560 You were born in a Christian home, You used to go into church 120 00:05:55,560 --> 00:06:02,680 and you get the best jobs and bro blah blah blah, I thought. 121 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,000 OK, maybe I wasn't. I wasn't fine enough, right? 122 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,280 I wasn't. I wasn't so. 123 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,480 You started to doubt yourself, right? 124 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,760 But the the question so then. Gradually I started to think 125 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:20,120 that OK, maybe this wasn't it. Now, crazy enough, my first 126 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,080 relationship might be some white girl, white Lebanese girl, and 127 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,400 she approached me. I was surprised. 128 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,360 I was like. This What does she see right? 129 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,840 Like you, people get a queue, they know the story, they get a 130 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,640 queue to go diely. So like. 131 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,800 Why is this girl like bouncing me and then this? 132 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,720 Someone is, yeah, Yeah. She approached me like, bro, I 133 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,120 was so surprised. Mimi will be that. 134 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,480 I've never seen a lady actually walk up to a guy and say I like 135 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,840 you. I want us to take this up and 136 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,600 notch da da, da, da. And was I'd say this that it was 137 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,680 one of the most amazing relationships I'd been in nice. 138 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,280 And it wasn't a relationship I approached the person approached 139 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,440 me. So sometimes when people say, 140 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,040 oh, as a woman, I'll never approach, you know, a man da da, 141 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,720 da da da the dynamics, the dynamics to it, the variables 142 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,920 are not, is not constant. There are different different 143 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,480 things. For different people, the only 144 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,560 thing was she was Muslim, I was Christian. 145 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,440 It was never going to work out for the long term. 146 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,080 I won't, I won't be surprised. There are very happy marriages 147 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,720 that I mean obviously the man have. 148 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,920 Never gotten rejected. Let's start with that. 149 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,240 No. Have I asked to be rejected? 150 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,600 The woman played. It no, no, but you'll be 151 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,120 rejected if you ask. OK, but if I know ask. 152 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,840 What do you look out for? Do you look out for clear 153 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,360 science before you make your approach? 154 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,520 Or my first relationship, I was 24. 155 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:49,600 OK, I couldn't be asked. I didn't care. 156 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:57,520 I think going up not to sound anything but as little as age 6. 157 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,640 I think between 6:00 and 8:00. I had older women. 158 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,080 I remember I remember this so clearly because it was very 159 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,280 definitive, right. You know, remember Christmas the 160 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,480 way he was so shaddad. And so you know that. 161 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,560 Tell us how do you start Browning you Christmas time. 162 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,080 You need your shirt. And so I think it was a Sunday 163 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,520 morning. He was supposed to wear the 164 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,360 thing to church. And this man was brown as my, my 165 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,480 old girl. Hold my hand. 166 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,680 A good man in there, right. So we were standing there while 167 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,120 he was trying to finish up. So we're standing right outside 168 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,280 the the shop. And there's this lady. 169 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:33,760 I remember she was a hot cake in the, in the, in the yard. 170 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,640 Yeah, in the area. And I've even at that age, you 171 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,320 could see how she was built and everything. 172 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,960 And she walked past us with her friend, OK. 173 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,880 And then she walked back. And then she started talking to 174 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:56,000 my mum and then she was like, I feel my wire, you know, in my 175 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,320 head. I'm like, I mean, now I'm like, 176 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:02,760 what the fuck? You know, the equivalent of that 177 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:06,440 when I was a child, you know, and I didn't get it. 178 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,840 This is a very sensitive conversation because a lot of 179 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:16,760 us, a lot of young men around our age and even older had their 180 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,960 first attraction, sexual attraction or sexual experience 181 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,960 with an older women. Yeah, agreed with an older 182 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,600 woman. I, I kid you not, we'll get into 183 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:33,560 that another day, but it it kind of I think I grew up being used 184 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:39,080 to female attention, right. I'm not seeing this to sound 185 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,680 anything but it's just. Or what guitar. 186 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:46,000 I I used to have that right. I started playing the drums at 187 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,040 age 4. Did he play drums as well? 188 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,160 Yeah, I was a drummer even in high school. 189 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,360 All the way in high school, I've been a drummer here. 190 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,480 Then I started playing the keyboard. 191 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,600 My dad played OK, right? So I naturally picked my musical 192 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,720 instincts from him. I started playing bass in 2013, 193 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,720 the time I meet Sana, where I started playing bass, right? 194 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,800 And it's like I was always doing something. 195 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,560 I used to dance in high school. No way, bro. 196 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:15,720 Yeah, no way. If you ask Steph, I was in 197 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,720 school with Steph. Ask Steph. 198 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,200 Wow. Yeah, I used to dance. 199 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,120 Like dance. You know, high school dance. 200 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,240 Boy, and I would, yeah. I used to dance. 201 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,000 Yeah. Entertainment. 202 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,400 Ask anyone. Yeah, I used to dance like I 203 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,280 used to dance. I was. 204 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,200 Asked your videos. As a sort of superstar in high 205 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,760 high school. Wow, Yeah. 206 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,600 I'd be memorial. Yeah, and I was playing the I 207 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,440 was a music director for Pencil. OK. 208 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,040 I I feel like I was serving 2 masters because entertainment 209 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,080 nights. I did a entertainment committee 210 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:58,840 drama coordinator for WDDC OK, class prefect. 211 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,880 I think music something something for SU as well. 212 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,160 So SU pensa school bands, right. So every Sunday I'm on the 213 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,680 stage, you know, Saturday I'm dancing, Sunday I'm on stage 214 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:15,200 playing drums or keyboard. It was it was that right? 215 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:20,800 So right from childhood into high school, Exactly, exactly. 216 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,720 And then now that we are old people see you on TV and all of 217 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,720 that. So it's like that thing comes, 218 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:32,000 it takes grace, right, 'cause if you're not rooted in who you are 219 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,240 in Christ, you would go after everything that comes for you, 220 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,840 right? So my experience might not 221 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,160 exactly be rejection. My experience has been more of 222 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:46,480 control because getting they there you go, feed, they come. 223 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,520 He did it. Yeah, right. 224 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,040 Who are you? Do you want to have that? 225 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,200 Is that what you want to be associated with? 226 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,480 Right. I always tell myself that the 227 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,680 last thing I want to hear is like two or three girls have 228 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,680 gardens like that guy cheap or that guy. 229 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,680 I've slept with him if I hear that, but let me. 230 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:05,880 Let me flip the question. Yeah. 231 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,960 Have you rejected somebody? But you 2 are. 232 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,280 I have to flip it because a lot of times it's like you, the man 233 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,720 making the proposition, but have you rejected? 234 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,880 Many times, yes. For what reason? 235 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,120 Are there like specific reasons? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 236 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,280 Has beauty. A bit of both. 237 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,840 Has beauty ever been a factor? No, no, OK, no. 238 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:31,480 The last time I had to, the last time I had to, was because it 239 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,160 wasn't because of the appearance of the person or of the girl or 240 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,240 anything. It was just. 241 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:40,280 I don't want it. I'm. 242 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,520 Not supposed to say like that. No, no, no, no in that bad way. 243 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:44,680 OK, let me explain. Let me. 244 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,920 Explain if I'm the girl we still hurt. 245 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,520 No, but. We we had the whole conversation 246 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,000 about it was, you know what I think? 247 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:57,680 I think she's, I would say she's the second girl that I've had, 248 00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:01,280 I've had, I've had this, that kind of beautiful conversation 249 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,360 with OK, where it was like, Ed, I want ABCD. 250 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,400 You don't want that. That's it. 251 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,480 It was a beautiful conversation. No fights, no time forms, no 252 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,640 arguments, nothing. Most of the time, though, the 253 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,600 friendship. Cast right after that. 254 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,120 Yeah, I think women are generally not. 255 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,720 Are. Handling rejection right? 256 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,080 I saw a joke on eggs. Sometimes one of the worst 257 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,160 things that can happen to you as a guy is when a Ghana girl tells 258 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,960 you she likes you and you don't like it's like if she call you 259 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,880 or you missed the course. If I said, well, you were 260 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,520 probably genuinely busy, right? But yeah, I mean, that's just 261 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,840 banter. Please do insulting at this 262 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,440 forecast this particular, but I'm sharing, I'm sharing my 263 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,280 experience, you know? But I haven't been in the 264 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,360 position of having to be rejected, right? 265 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,840 Maybe because I haven't. Maybe I'll be I'll be weird guy, 266 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,440 OK. But when you when you spoke to 267 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,160 the person about it, what was the approach was the maturity 268 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,880 level? She actually brought the 269 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:10,040 conversation up. OK, that yeah, she doesn't see 270 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,240 me as a friend. OK, right. 271 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,600 And you didn't see as a. Exactly. 272 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,520 So we were on different. Pages OK. 273 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:22,440 And beautiful conversation, but most of the time that's the end 274 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,920 of the friendship. 90%, ninety, 90% of the time. 275 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:31,040 That's the, I think some men, most men would do better at 276 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:36,520 still remaining friends with a woman, which now boys don't 277 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,880 recommend because you end up doing house chores, buying the 278 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,080 gifts, still taking them out on the dates. 279 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,360 And it's like, I think it's OK for you as a guy to also walk 280 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,520 away because you came for something. 281 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,200 Thank you very much. You you came for something like 282 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,440 I want I want us to be partners. I want to date you and marry 283 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,080 you. Oh no, I'm not feeling it. 284 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,800 Cool. You, you should walk out. 285 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,720 I recommend that you walk away. Do you think? 286 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:05,200 Men normally play the long game. Most of the time, OK, when you 287 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,400 have a girlfriend and you have a guy playing the long game with 288 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,440 her, you would know. Unfortunately, most of the time 289 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,160 when you bring it up. They don't. 290 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,200 They don't see it, but when they flag a lady, they expect you to. 291 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,440 You know they expect you to listen to them, but you know 292 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:20,360 that she's texting. You do. 293 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,560 You know what? She wants you to do, you know, 294 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,760 but when a guy is playing the long game, he's trying to be the 295 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,160 shoulder. The funniest thing is like 296 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,080 there's a run out. The boys in the car then goes, 297 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,160 they will ask you, are you happy or you're dating? 298 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,600 But are you happy though? Because I can give you 299 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,800 happiness. So it's more like, yeah, yeah, 300 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,520 boys do play the long game. But I think I've seen myself, 301 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:48,320 the reason why my first relationship was at 24, I was 302 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,760 delusional, right? I was like, I want to date once 303 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,920 and get married. That's it, you know? 304 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,520 So I got into a relationship which lasted for four years, 305 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,800 long distance, and it ended, right? 306 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,280 And then before it ended, I had to accept a lot of things, 307 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:06,720 right? I was. 308 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:12,760 So if I was 20, if I was 28, then I had to accept that it's 309 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,200 OK for not everything. It's OK for everything not to 310 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,560 work in my favour. It's OK for me not to get 311 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,280 everything I want the way I want it. 312 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:24,400 It's OK. Life is not a straight line for 313 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,200 my boss, right? To not mention names. 314 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,400 When I lost my dad in 2021, he realized how down I was and 315 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,880 everything, and he started counselling me. 316 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,680 So I used to go home. He told me something back in 317 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,360 2021 that I still work with today. 318 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:44,440 And he was like, we are all walking, travelling uncharted 319 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,000 waters. You don't know what's going to 320 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:46,960 happen to you tomorrow. That's right. 321 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,600 Give yourself grace. If you approached a woman and 322 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,360 she rejected you, give yourself grace. 323 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,720 You didn't know she was going to reject you. 324 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,520 And it's not bad for wanting to be with her, right? 325 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,800 Give yourself grace. We are all travelling uncharted 326 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:04,640 waters, but also 99% of the things we fear would most likely 327 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,040 not happen. The 1% that happen, we have the 328 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,520 capacity to overcome them, right? 329 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,960 And I think I work with that. So it's not because I don't 330 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,480 approach because I'm scared that I I could be rejected. 331 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,000 But that wouldn't define who I am, right? 332 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,240 It's OK for you. You're not everybody's back, no 333 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,800 matter how good looking of a woman or a man you are. 334 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,920 You could be the nicest guy, you could be the kindest, richest, 335 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:39,760 smartest, whatever. You could be someone's their 336 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:45,720 choice and it's fine. Can people just decide and it'd 337 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,640 be OK? You know, So I, it's not like I, 338 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,480 I don't approach because I think I had this mentality of I just 339 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,160 want to date. Once and that's. 340 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:03,080 That but it ended and I entered my I hate women era just around 341 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,760 when we met right and it's like I think you could testify when 342 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,200 we're in the office, like men pay mouse and credit or 343 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,760 something, but I think I was so I think it's one of the things 344 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,720 that I feel proud of for doing for myself that I've been so 345 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,280 focused on building lasting friendships, right. 346 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,360 Let me use Maria as an example, right? 347 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:29,880 Me and Maria are like brother, sister, right? 348 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,920 Those are the friendships I've cultivated from the time that my 349 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,720 first relationship ended. And I was very intentional about 350 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:42,480 it, where I made sure I won't mix romantic stuff with this. 351 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,640 So it became annoying at some point because sometimes, I mean, 352 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,320 we are smart guys. Come on, you know that someone 353 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,880 wants you. You know that someone likes you, 354 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,880 but here I am doing friendship, friendship things, right? 355 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,320 And it gets annoying at some point. 356 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,000 It's like you're not approaching like she expects you to approach 357 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,560 right and the friendship just it will cast for that. 358 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,600 But for me, it's more of a respect for the woman, not even 359 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,840 just myself, because I'm not coming to waste your time, 360 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,640 right? I don't want to be known in the 361 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,080 books of situation ships. I don't want to be known in the 362 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,400 books of this guy ruled me along, bro. 363 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,680 I would rather be honest. Call me John, call me whatever, 364 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:25,040 but I've got two sisters, bro. I know what it feels like to be 365 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,680 heartbroken or betrayed. So yeah, I haven't been rejected 366 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:34,400 before because maybe I haven't approached that many women, you 367 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,240 know? I think I think in when it 368 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,720 happened to me, I mean do I was younger, but. 369 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,080 Like imagine how we felt like. Yeah, it was crazy because I 370 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,640 come from a home where my dad always said this and I didn't. 371 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,480 I never understood why he said that, he said. 372 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,800 I'm emotional because I. I did. 373 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,680 You reject it, then you didn't. You didn't accept it right when 374 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,040 you said it. I didn't like I. 375 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,680 Was like but do you understand now why you said that? 376 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,320 And I realized that I grew up more around women. 377 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,160 So it's like everything. It was easier for me to like get 378 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,360 into that emotional element of myself and. 379 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,080 I realized that even when that happened, I was always looking 380 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:21,920 for some kind of love for for from like grade A down to me 381 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:27,360 gain into even university. I realized the trend of the kind 382 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,880 of love I was looking for and it was scary because the kind of 383 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:35,680 love I was looking for was it was too much that I don't want 384 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,600 to say too much too. Much pressure on the woman. 385 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,040 Do do do you expect? I expected much perfection, 386 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,200 yeah. I expected so much perfection 387 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,680 because I like my things. Had you been perfect expecting 388 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,400 that? That was the thing I felt being 389 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,720 good was perfection, but being good is not synonymous to being 390 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,280 perfect. You know, the, you know, the 391 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,960 mistake most of us guys make. I had that problem as well. 392 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,240 And that guy, the dates go come, the gifts go come and 393 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,240 everything. And I felt that warranted being 394 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,040 treated fairly. That's right, you know, And 395 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:11,720 after certain disappointments, I realized that we said it in one 396 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,760 of the episodes. Just being a good person doesn't 397 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,800 warrant at all. You could always be a villain in 398 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,600 someone's story and it's fine. It's something I've come to 399 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,160 accept as well. I think one of the mistakes we 400 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:28,520 make is you are a good guy. You, you don't cheat, you don't 401 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,040 abuse your woman and all that. So you expect your relationship 402 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,960 to be perfect? And I thought nothing exposes 403 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,400 your bad behaviors like relationships. 404 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,360 I worked with that. Yeah, I. 405 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,120 Worked with that understanding and it got to a point where it 406 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:45,000 was my first relationship, the the, you know, the Lebanese. 407 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:47,520 And then she really thought me a lot. 408 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,640 I'd never seen a relationship from that perspective before 409 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,080 seeing love her. As young as she was. 410 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,840 She was matured and. It's a reflection of the house, 411 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:00,200 the home she came from. And if you see parents. 412 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,680 Bro yeah, lovely. Friends bro, it's beautiful. 413 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,240 Exactly. It's what she sees at home. 414 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:09,880 It's it's so like you see it and you're like, I want this and the 415 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:15,280 and the at that age they knew possibly like so. 416 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:20,800 They're not, since they're. Not since the afternoon, but 417 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,080 then go sit you down. Do you ever go home with? 418 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,240 Her like yes bro. They knew I mean it. 419 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,440 However, it was difficult for me to bring it to. 420 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,640 My house, because that will be yours. 421 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,640 You're setting so. It it gets to a point where you 422 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,320 need to even find a way to balance it. 423 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,960 Yeah. And at some point she's like, 424 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,800 are you? What did she say? 425 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,720 Are you embarrassed of me or baby or you see or you see some? 426 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,840 She don't know where your mind. Is like what are they? 427 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,440 She don't know where your mind is bro. 428 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,560 I feel going house, like we feel vibe, but then if you come my 429 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,080 side it's like. Somewhere I'm holding back, 430 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,880 yeah. You know, and it was very, very 431 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,320 difficult. And moving forward, I think 432 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,640 looking at her and the kind of maturity she had at that age. 433 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,280 When I came back to Ghana, I told my mom this, that was never 434 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:10,960 going to marry a black woman. I'm telling not not a black like 435 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,080 an African. Woman. 436 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,200 And my mom, my mom attested it because I feel. 437 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,680 Because of what you had seen with her. 438 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,640 Slapped my ass with it. Bro I understand what you mean. 439 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,880 That's it. I understand what you mean 440 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,040 because I've changed I mean the. The I understand. 441 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,040 I've changed my whole mindset. About that, it's our society, 442 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,640 it's our upbringing, it's. Our culture, African women 443 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,160 largely are not intentional. They like you to pursue. 444 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:40,600 They like to do the I hate this word by bare minimum and like to 445 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:44,120 receive, but not they want to reciprocate at their own 446 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,680 discretion. And with with that. 447 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,400 If, if I'd never experienced that kind of relationship, I 448 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,120 would have thought, Nah, it's all about giving. 449 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:53,560 And I experienced somebody that was intentional, somebody that 450 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,480 was loving, somebody that would make respect for like I, I, I'd 451 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,680 never seen that. It was so perfect to be true. 452 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,320 And it ties into sometimes feeling that, Nah, this can't 453 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:02,640 be. True. 454 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,040 There's a twist to it. Yeah. 455 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,400 Maybe she wants something from you. 456 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,840 You know, I saw a joke and guys were discussing. 457 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,400 One lady was like she, she can't be a guy that doesn't celebrate 458 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,600 his birthday because that means he's not going to celebrate 459 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,120 hers. You didn't even ask him why. 460 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,360 What if? What if he was neglected as a 461 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,160 child? It's crazy that kind of the kind 462 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,480 of narrative our society has set and. 463 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,120 You know how it's fun? Why it's funny? 464 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:32,200 One guy actually said something that made sense, that a lot of 465 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,920 women would just plan activities that make. 466 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:36,840 Them happy. Happy, yeah. 467 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,680 For you as the guy, because she wants to be happy on your 468 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,840 birthday, but the moment you don't like it, she said that he 469 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,800 does. He didn't like it. 470 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,000 And you, You, you asked me to go and paint my face. 471 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,400 Happened like that. What happened like that I was 472 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:59,200 like, Nah, I'm not going to do like African chicken because I 473 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,760 had experienced that came to university for my whole 474 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,920 University of Ghana. This one I don't do any 475 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:08,040 relationship was after that I give an opportunity because I 476 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,200 realized that the person was different. 477 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,120 And even in that first relation, that first year was crazy 478 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,040 because I've been in relationships where it's that 479 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,000 and they give you that. And this person was like, now 480 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:25,200 trying to get into the groove and it was tough. 481 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,320 It was, it was really tough. So it's not only about sometimes 482 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,680 it's not only about physical, you know, rejections. 483 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,600 Sometimes your mind rejects without your, your lips saying 484 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:35,960 it. Yeah. 485 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,400 So you're like, you know, it's not this personal stuff like 486 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,680 don't waste your time, but then you are constantly your body is 487 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,800 by your mind has just. Challenged. 488 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,400 I think we just fail to accept it. 489 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,480 Because deep down you want it to work. 490 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,560 Yeah. Yeah, deep down you want it to 491 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,200 work. And even though sometimes the 492 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,320 signs will be glaring, you see it right there. 493 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,640 But you want it to work. Let me try. 494 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,240 Let me use this approach to see if it will work. 495 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,160 There are times where not just romantic relationships, even 496 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:13,160 friendships, right work. It has had to stink so bad 497 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:18,000 before I let go because I felt like I'm not someone that that 498 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,440 gives up. So when I get to a point where I 499 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:27,640 say I'm done. That's that but but I want to 500 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,400 ask a question would. Would you go? 501 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,080 Sounds like 3 seconds when I come back. 502 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,520 Would you, would you go to somebody that initially rejected 503 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:40,520 you and once you maybe give you an opportunity the second time? 504 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,920 I would ask questions, but yeah, probably I would check some 505 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:48,160 things out before, OK. It's not pride, it's respect. 506 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,760 OK, I need to know your reasons for wanting me. 507 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,440 Now, if you didn't want me, then I need to know what your 508 00:26:55,440 --> 00:27:00,560 priorities are 'cause maybe, let me give you a typical example. 509 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,960 Maybe a girl rejected you because she thought you weren't 510 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,840 confident enough. The way you approached her, she 511 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,520 could see that you were struggling to find words. 512 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,160 Your confidence wasn't all of that. 513 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,120 She thought that, OK, this is the man that's going to lead me. 514 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,400 He doesn't take that box. And maybe six months down the 515 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,560 line, she saw that growth in you, right in your interaction. 516 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,560 She realized that this guy speaks. 517 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,400 Well, he does that. Let me see if this would work. 518 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,560 You now have to ask why she rejected you before and why she 519 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,680 wants you now. Not in a bad way, but just to 520 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,080 find out. Because if you don't check the 521 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,280 motive behind why she wants you now. 522 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,800 What if you are just filling a void? 523 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,880 What if you're just a replacement? 524 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:49,480 What if you are a rebound? What if even the explanations 525 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,400 he's given to you is not genuine? 526 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,080 Exactly, but there's a risk to that. 527 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,280 Even the person you think is genuine could be really you. 528 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,600 You know, you would never ever know. 529 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,000 What if the person you're married to for 15 years never 530 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,280 really liked you? What if they settled? 531 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,680 You would never really know that there are things I decide not to 532 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,440 think about because you feel mad, right? 533 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:16,400 So it's, it's more like I would ask questions, hard questions. 534 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,840 I don't mind having difficult conversations, but I think it's 535 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:26,000 more like, I think it's more like why I need to ask my wife, 536 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,360 right? And then from there, if I'm 537 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:30,960 satisfied with the answer, OK, we are going to do this. 538 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:35,320 How are we going to do it? What are the boundaries or about 539 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,600 the usual conversations you'd have in a relationship with the 540 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:38,800 do's and the don'ts and blah, blah, blah. 541 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,640 But I wouldn't mind. I don't think I'm proud to if 542 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,440 someone reject. I've had friendships. 543 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,840 Let me even bring in the concept of friendships, right, That I've 544 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,440 had a friend that I think I think she has the worst 545 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,520 communication of human being I've met. 546 00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,680 And there are times where we didn't speak for a long time and 547 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,280 she would be like, oh, she thought I had blocked her. 548 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:08,560 I don't get that time right. Just it's OK, I I don't even 549 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:09,560 know. Maybe you were going through 550 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,240 something, right? And it's like, oh, I'm like, no, 551 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,320 it's OK. Let's talk. 552 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,440 Call me when you are free. It's OK. 553 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,240 It's. And so when, like, until I get 554 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,680 to a point where I realized you are taking me for a ride. 555 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,880 That one, I'm gone. Yeah. 556 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,520 But until I confirm that, I think everybody deserves grace. 557 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,560 I deserve grace because I'm not perfect. 558 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,120 There are times where I failed to check on a friend. 559 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,720 There are times where I need someone to take me back. 560 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,120 Right. So I should be able to extend 561 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,560 that grace to someone else. I think that I, I can't, I can't 562 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,840 put myself in a situation where what I've I've built my 563 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,000 ideologies on is not put my situation on a on a position 564 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,800 where I'm constantly allowing my rejection to define me exactly 565 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,680 because whether it's a job. I was about to say that because 566 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,400 sometimes if you apply for job for linking like 5 seconds. 567 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,120 So yeah, yeah, yeah. After careful review of the 568 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,960 other day, Yeah, unfortunately with that thing bro, if you 569 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,560 break your confidence. You're not there yet. 570 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,720 Yeah. Work, even family, even friends. 571 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,200 Exactly. It could come in so many things, 572 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:10,120 man. I'm not friends. 573 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,320 Yeah, maybe conversations that people don't think your 574 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,480 intellectual prowess is there to have that conversation with you. 575 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,600 Yeah. And sometimes it breaks your 576 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,600 spirit to know that people have rejected you even when it comes 577 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,200 to saying habits matters. But I've realized one thing, 578 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,760 that if you know your identity, know who you are, know what you 579 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,200 represent, the purpose and the pattern to which you're taking, 580 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,600 it's you. You're not largely derailed by 581 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,520 people's rejection because you know what you represent, You 582 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,120 know who you are, you know where you're headed. 583 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,720 Yeah. And that is what we largely 584 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:43,560 don't have because we expect, we expect people to accept us for 585 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,240 the value in US without people even knowing the value we carry. 586 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,440 You know The funny thing here, you could have that value, but 587 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,440 it's not serving the purpose for the person you're giving it to. 588 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,200 Exactly, exactly. It's it's not like it's like 589 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,960 putting a this whole square peg in a round hole. 590 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,400 So we need to accept these things. 591 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,880 That's why I said you may not be everybody's peg. 592 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,080 Maybe you're good looking, but you don't. 593 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:13,240 You're not a good leader. I don't be pretty privileged and 594 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,480 all those things exist, right? But that's not all there is to 595 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,600 life. You could meet someone that 596 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,760 would say no to you, not because they don't like you, they don't 597 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,320 vibe with you. You're not fitting the purpose 598 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:28,480 before and it's all right. We force it, I mean as as men 599 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,680 sometimes, like we keep pushing because there's. 600 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,160 A That's my problem with our agenda. 601 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,880 No, you see, I get that. No, but you know, it gets it 602 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,000 gets it gets troubling when you start putting money and. 603 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,720 Gifts and the thing, that's the thing that's that's the blared 604 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,560 lines between pursuing yeah and actually seeing something. 605 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,760 At that point, you're buying love you. 606 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:52,000 Can't tell because the person I know somebody that's it that you 607 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,800 need to like put in that kind of effort, you need to pursue. 608 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,720 You need to and you see some people play hard to get the 609 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,720 culture is play hard to. Get by this time. 610 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,440 By this time. Oh, yeah, people didn't you 611 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,280 want? We're adults. 612 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,360 If I like you and you like me, can we just play? 613 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,960 Hard to get the guy. Watching and then if the guy 614 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,880 moves on, oh, you know that thing where the guy moves on is 615 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:20,120 like a so you left. Exactly, you see, so the person, 616 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:25,200 the person perhaps wants to see that tangibility in the value 617 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,000 you put on here. And it's it's a there's. 618 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,600 A thin line. It's a construct I'm. 619 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,200 Just saying I don't agree with it but it's a construct and most 620 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:37,800 men think oh say with time, no. She will come around. 621 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,680 Right. It's a dicey thing, but it works 622 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,800 for some people. You get it. 623 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,240 It works for some people. So there's this blared line 624 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:49,440 between bro, you're rejected and she wants you to pursue. 625 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,720 That's why I say this. Not me, Christian, Sir, I don't 626 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:57,920 mean you, if you. Need time? 627 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:01,480 Tell me you need time. If if I love you, I'd give you 628 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,040 110%. You don't have to tell me to do 629 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,600 the extra, but when. People you know that you know. 630 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,240 That puts you in a position to constantly prove yourself. 631 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,080 Yeah, yeah, I agree. And justify why you want. 632 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,280 And the scary part is proving yourself to somebody being the 633 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,080 validation of whatever you're doing. 634 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,200 Exactly. And it's mental, like how is 635 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,800 somebody and you can't validate whatever the person. 636 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,280 You can't validate. I mean, it's me before, but you 637 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,120 know. Let's do it. 638 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,520 You need to get to that. Point. 639 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,560 God forbid. Oh yeah, You see boys, they do 640 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,240 that, No. No, no, no, never again, I. 641 00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,480 Will appear for your. Dreams to just get to a point. 642 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,120 You know who you are, you know what you represent, you know who 643 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,280 is coming into your life. You've built capacity for 644 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,840 yourself. You don't second guess yourself. 645 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,200 You don't let people let second guess you. 646 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,920 Especially family. Bro the number of times our 647 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:51,480 parents have said things to us right that you second guess 648 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,760 yourselves. It starts from the that's right, 649 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,200 you 2nd and it translates in school, translates in your 650 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,160 friendship. Teachers. 651 00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,280 I haven't. The teacher once told me that. 652 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,640 Bro, you ain't it. Like you're not it. 653 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,880 This matter. Friends, Friends. 654 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,440 Teachers is oh bro. You go catch, you get. 655 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,280 What you like the? More we can still in your life 656 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,320 and you're like bro I'm him. Yeah, like I'm actually him. 657 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,199 The person just didn't. It just had to take. 658 00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:16,280 Time I think I've I've had so many experiences where my 659 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,760 self-confidence has been misconstrued for arrogance I 660 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,000 think. I think some ladies hate it. 661 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,440 I told you before you did. Oh too many times. 662 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,440 I heard something recently.