1 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,280 Here's Ed Taylor with today's episode of Lead to Serve, a 2 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:13,080 leadership podcast. Welcome again to another episode 3 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:16,520 of the Lead to Serve podcast with Pastor Ed Taylor. 4 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:21,520 I'm Ed, I'm the host for today as we are well underway with 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,960 season #7 of the Lead to Serve podcast. 6 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,240 Appreciate all your response and your feedback. 7 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,960 Appreciate your prayers for us as God continues to use the 8 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,840 podcast around the country, even around the world. 9 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,040 We have listeners all around the world in many different 10 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,360 countries. I and in the last few seasons 11 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:46,080 I've invited Pastor Bob Klaykamp into the studio with me where 12 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,440 the podcast has become more of a conversation, which I really, 13 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,480 really like. Bob. 14 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:56,640 He has 50 years, 50 plus years of ministry experience. 15 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,400 It all started. I'm sure you remember him living 16 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,760 in a communal Christian home and believe me, there are some 17 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,320 stories with that and a lots of fun stuff. 18 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:11,120 It directly related. If you ever want to understand 19 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,000 the essence or the beginnings of Calvary Chapel. 20 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,880 Jesus Revolution did a fairly good job describing from Pastor 21 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,920 Greg Laurie's perspective, a little glimpse of those early 22 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:28,480 days of the revival among the hippies, of which Bob was a full 23 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:33,400 blown hippie musician, saved living in a communal home, 24 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,200 loving the Lord and serving. He also was the senior pastor at 25 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,480 Calvary Chapel in North Phoenix for many, many years, then a 26 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:45,520 missionary pastoring a church in Exeter, England, and now he's 27 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,760 leading the mission assist ministries. 28 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,200 And I would say in between there, he also was serving 29 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:56,160 within the Poyman Ministries, which is basically a hard to 30 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,280 help other churches and help other pastors and serve in a 31 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:04,880 variety of ways to bring about health and strength in the local 32 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,160 church. Now he's mission assist, which 33 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,759 is brought into the world and he's doing a lot of work in the 34 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:13,240 UK. I'm serving in a variety of 35 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,600 different ways as well as when he's around here in Aurora. 36 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:21,120 He adds so much to the team here and to the pulpit here. 37 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:25,720 And and as you heard in their last episode, every once in a 38 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,960 while, if you listen to Bob carefully, you're going to get a 39 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,960 Bobism. And we're always enjoy Bobism's 40 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:34,440 Bob. Welcome. 41 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,320 Yeah, it's good to be here. Are you ever going to write them 42 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,280 down for us or not? I don't know. 43 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,640 You need to, you need to ask everyone the Bobism that they 44 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,880 remember. Yeah, well. 45 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,960 The first time I remember a Bobism was in your book. 46 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,920 We're not going to mention it here, but it was reading your 47 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,400 book on marriage. Yeah. 48 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,880 Oh, yeah. See, that was the first Bobism. 49 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,520 But there are many more and they're they're really good. 50 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,600 Today we have a new topic. We were going to do this last 51 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:08,000 episode, but we were carried off in a really great discussion 52 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,360 about age and how important you are no matter what your age is. 53 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,880 But today we want to talk about the pressure of leadership 54 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,760 pressure, and we want to talk about the different points of 55 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,840 pressure and how to relieve them. 56 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,280 There's a lot of pressure on us. And depending on your 57 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,160 personality, how you deal with the pressure or how you feel the 58 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:36,200 pressure will be different. I I happen to be you, Bob, you 59 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,120 mentioned in a, a couple weeks ago in one of the episodes about 60 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,240 being wound up, or I think you use the word roundup. 61 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,840 Yeah. Marie, my wife tells me that I'm 62 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,200 pretty. I'm wound pretty tight at times. 63 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:55,360 My personality wise, it doesn't take much to that's just how I 64 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,680 am. So when so when I feel pressure, 65 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,160 I feel pretty weighty where Marie may not or I serve with a 66 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,920 lot of wonderful people that aren't wound up like me or 67 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,240 different personality where they just feel pressure differently. 68 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,960 They respond to pressure differently. 69 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,840 But and I do I I it, it's always seems to be high level for me, 70 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,480 even the smallest things I have to say. 71 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,640 I've improved over the years and I have learned how to abide in 72 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,280 Christ. I am learning. 73 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,480 I can't say I have learned. I guess I could say I've I have 74 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:32,720 learned how to abide in Christ more so that I am taking his 75 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:37,400 yoke upon me and not my own. But feeling pressure is a part 76 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,440 of leading and serving. What are your thoughts on Just 77 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,760 As We Begin? Well, there's different things 78 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:48,120 that can pressure you. There's sometimes in your 79 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,840 personality, outwardly you're pretty and easy, an easygoing 80 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:57,360 guy, but you're still internally processing things. 81 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,880 And for me, I know I'm kind of easygoing. 82 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,440 I can be patient, I can put up with things. 83 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,120 That doesn't mean that I'm that way on the inside. 84 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,120 And it sure comes out sometimes when all of a sudden it just 85 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,920 hits a boiling point and then it just explodes. 86 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:21,560 And that's where I have to regularly, you know, repent and 87 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:26,440 just own it and say, you know, I'm relying upon my own natural 88 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,880 ability rather than the fruit of the spirit of self. 89 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:34,320 Control very important. Lovejoy, peace, patience, kind, 90 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,360 they all fit together. The I When I think of pressure, 91 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:43,640 I think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus being 100% 92 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,800 fully man. He felt the pressure of the 93 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,600 cross before the cross. He felt the pressure and the 94 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,600 weight of what was about to happen. 95 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:58,120 He in his prayer as he was crying out to the Father and and 96 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,600 he's sweating like drops of blood. 97 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:05,280 There's pressure there. Nevertheless, Lord, not my way 98 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,400 at my will, but your will be done. 99 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,520 Those are that's a valid first of all, I was just reminded of 100 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,920 the pressure that Jesus felt, but also how he handled it, how 101 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,840 he came to his father, how he expressed it to him, and then 102 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:24,080 how he submitted to the will of the Father, submitted to the in 103 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,560 our context, submitting to the situation, taking it to the 104 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:34,080 Lord, asking, requesting, but but ultimately, my the safest 105 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,040 place for me is to submit to the will of God. 106 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,880 That's a choice. In whatever pressure. 107 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,800 A feeling. It it is a conscious choice of 108 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,720 obedience. Yeah. 109 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,640 And moving forward with the reality of my life. 110 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,520 So let's talk about a few things. 111 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,800 Here's some pressure, different pressure points that we feel. 112 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,880 And you listening, you guys listening, You might have some. 113 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,280 You can always text us. Remember there's a dedicated 114 00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:02,600 number, 720-608-0012, and you can text. 115 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,520 Any ideas? Maybe you have some pressure 116 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,960 points as you're listening. Oh, this is what I'm feeling 117 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,320 right now. This is what I'm going through. 118 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:13,000 But the first one that is important that we talk about is 119 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,240 peer pressure. Peer pressure. 120 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,600 When we think of peer pressure, it almost immediately takes us 121 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,520 back to high school. Well, of course, you know, I 122 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,320 know what peer pressure is. We experienced peer pressure in 123 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,960 high school and, and to fit in and to dress right and to be in 124 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:33,560 the right crowd and on and on. However, peer pressure doesn't 125 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:38,080 end in high school, right? As we have peers all throughout 126 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:43,560 our lives and there is peer pressure, I think of with a 127 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,480 pastor, I think of a pastor's peer pressure. 128 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:51,360 That's my first thought. The peers, pastor peer pressure 129 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,600 that pastor feels is that they need to do it as do something a 130 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,880 certain way and they're feeling because their friends doing it 131 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,560 and it's like maybe I should be doing that. 132 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,400 They need to do something a certain way because they are 133 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:11,440 being told to do that. They are given direction or 134 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:15,000 their peer pressure really plays out. 135 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,240 And I think a lot of these do some of the things that we've 136 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,760 listed out, but peer pressure really plays into our lives with 137 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:28,080 social media where we're looking at it and we're like, look what 138 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,120 they're doing and I should be doing that. 139 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,560 Why aren't I doing? They're so happy. 140 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,640 Yeah, they look at that picture that that captures a millisecond 141 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,000 of the entirety of the life. But it's real peer pressure, 142 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,039 like just feeling. You get a phone call from a 143 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:43,760 friend and said you got to do this and you should do that. 144 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,320 How have you? What do you think about when you 145 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,840 think of peer pressure? I think of insecurity as the 146 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:55,840 foundation. There's you. 147 00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:02,040 You, your whole identity is wrapped up in being part of the 148 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:06,160 crowd and not standing out in an awkward way where you are a 149 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:11,000 thought less of. And it starts with maybe 150 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,640 somebody who's actually an inspiration to you, and then you 151 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,400 start looking at their life. And then there's this thought 152 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:24,760 like, I want to be like that. And so I need to do what they're 153 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,160 doing so I can have the same result. 154 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,080 And you've just lost perspective. 155 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,720 You just completely lost the plot. 156 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,920 And you now you, you, you need to to say, wait a minute, God 157 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:40,280 doesn't need two of them. One is enough and he doesn't. 158 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:45,560 And, and you have unique giftings that he wants to use in 159 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:50,640 his time, in his way. And you have to stop thinking 160 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:56,040 about what do I look like? I mean, when I went to England, 161 00:09:56,040 --> 00:10:03,680 it was just, it was just, I want to like fit in with these 162 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:08,240 pastors, but they were all just talking to themselves. 163 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:12,080 And I'm, I'm in this real important meeting and, and I'm 164 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,680 dressed up because it was a kind of a high level thing. 165 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:19,600 And so I took as much whatever clothes I had that were good and 166 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,680 I went there and, and so I'm standing in the lobby waiting 167 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:28,320 for the fancy dinner and just feeling like a wallflower and, 168 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,120 you know, and then my phone goes off. 169 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:40,040 But I had I had my phone set up to ring a unique ring for when 170 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,640 it was the United States calling. 171 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,720 Well, it was the Star Spangled Banner. 172 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,160 And so I didn't turn my phone off. 173 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,760 And so while we're waiting, all of a sudden my phone goes off 174 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,440 and it's the Star Spangled Banner, a British thing. 175 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:00,200 And all of a sudden everybody stops talking and looks at me 176 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,040 and I'm like, I'm trying to turn it off. 177 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,720 And it's like, obviously I'm not from around here. 178 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:11,480 And you know, it's, those are good humbling times. 179 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:17,760 It just, it's so subtle where the whole peer pressure comes 180 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:22,000 in. It can start off with, OK, I I 181 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,920 just want to serve them and I want to understand them, but 182 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,920 then all of a sudden through deeper insecurities, it just 183 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,960 takes another direction, insecurity. 184 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,080 Is a real important topic. I think we covered it in another 185 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:40,040 episode of of Lead to Serve, where insecurities will make an 186 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:44,400 otherwise rational person do very irrational things. 187 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,040 And that is not good for leadership. 188 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,120 It will divert you and distract you from exactly what you've 189 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,800 been called to do. And when I think of pressure as 190 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,040 well, we, we need to remember why is it such a valid topic? 191 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,520 Whether it's peer pressure or some of the other ones we're 192 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,880 going to talk about, it's because this pressure in, in, in 193 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:09,160 every sense of the word, it's pushing you away from the will 194 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,080 of God. It is causing you to second 195 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:17,120 guess the direction that God has given you, the word that he's 196 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:23,560 spoken to you, the essence of why you exist on the earth and 197 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:28,640 you're now the peer pressure could also be defined biblically 198 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,960 as the fear of man, where you're trying to impress man, you're 199 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,480 trying to make a name for yourself. 200 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,320 You're trying to fit in, you're trying to assuage and comfort 201 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,680 your own insecurities and feel more secure about yourself. 202 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,840 And you just got to watch out for it. 203 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,760 You, you can't you, you, you, you got to, to crucify that part 204 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,800 of your flesh and ask the Lord to strengthen you so that you're 205 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,400 not being pressured because, well, you know, if, if I don't 206 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,080 do that, they won't talk to me anymore. 207 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,040 Let me, let me just say maybe that you don't need them in 208 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,960 their in your life. If that's the kind of friend you 209 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,920 have where they're, they won't include you anymore. 210 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,160 They won't because you won't do something for them. 211 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,880 You, you don't you and I, we don't respond to pressure. 212 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,520 We have to learn to live by being led by the Holy Spirit. 213 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,120 He leads us. He doesn't God doesn't pressure 214 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,200 us. So I know when I'm feeling this 215 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,840 undue pressure, it's not coming from the Lord. 216 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,080 Yeah, I'm not sure where it's coming from, but the first one 217 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,920 yet, but the first one we talked about is peer pressure. 218 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,360 Let me give you another one that's consistent with that, and 219 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,680 that is the pressure of jealousy. 220 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,400 Yeah. Jealousy also has a tinge of 221 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:40,320 insecurity to it, but but you want something that someone else 222 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,840 has and it moves you to try to get it. 223 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,240 Have you ever experienced that? Oh, sure. 224 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:51,320 Yeah, I remember in Phoenix I really was trying to grow the 225 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:58,240 church, and the Lord directed me to give one of our opportunities 226 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:04,920 to another pastor, and they ended up moving about a mile and 227 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,120 a half away from us and flourishing. 228 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,920 And a lot of my people in the church, well, my people, a lot 229 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,280 of the people in the church went over there because it was 230 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,720 exciting and there was nothing I can do about it. 231 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,720 I had to lay off all my staff because we went down from 700 232 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:24,840 people down to 180. And then I was starting to look 233 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,120 for a job myself and, and there was nothing I can do to control 234 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,960 it. Plus we were getting their phone 235 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,200 calls because people thought we were them. 236 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:45,120 And so that was a that was a good breaking, purifying time 237 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,600 and I'm glad I went through it, but I don't want to go through 238 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,280 it again. This comparison that is the 239 00:14:56,280 --> 00:15:00,880 Bible says it's not wise when we compare because we can go one of 240 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,080 two ways. But when it comes to jealousy, 241 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,400 we're almost always they have something better than us, 242 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,400 they're doing it better than us. And then it leads into that 243 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,520 discouragement. All the attacks of the enemy we 244 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:16,880 talked about earlier in episodes where we have to be careful of 245 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:22,640 our emotions, these emotions that it's a real feeling, but it 246 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,000 doesn't not just because we're feeling it doesn't mean it's 247 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,600 telling us the truth, doesn't mean that we're to act on it. 248 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,880 And certainly jealousy is not going to move you in the 249 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,480 direction of following the Lord. It's going to provoke your 250 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,080 flesh. It is. 251 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,920 It is your flesh because jealousy also prevents you from 252 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:46,080 being happy from or with what someone else is enjoying. 253 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,800 Like instead of being happy for them and celebrating with them, 254 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,760 your response is jealousy. And then you then that jealousy, 255 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:58,120 if it's nursed and it's fed, it becomes a flame of pressure to 256 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,520 somehow get what you want, which isn't necessarily what God wants 257 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,880 for you. And that's dangerous. 258 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,760 Let me give you another one. There's a new phrase. 259 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,280 I didn't know it until somebody used it with me. 260 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,400 And I'm like, what does that mean? 261 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,600 And he had said to me real quickly something, I forget what 262 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,720 we're talking about, but he used the phrase FOMO. 263 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,600 And I'm like, what is that? And the fear of missing out. 264 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,160 He explained it to me. I'm like, oh, I learned 265 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,280 something today. That's fear. 266 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,000 It's a good word to start out with. 267 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,520 If anything other than the fear of the Lord is moving you, then 268 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,320 you know there's going to be undue pressure. 269 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,320 You're just going to feel so the fear of missing out, like I 270 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,480 should be there. I can't be it. 271 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,240 It skews your decision making process. 272 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,720 Absolutely, instead of. Saying I want to be where God 273 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,160 wants me, which means I'm going to miss out Yeah, I I can't do 274 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,960 two things at once. So if I'm in position A, then 275 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,320 I'm automatically going to miss out on position BI. 276 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,440 Can't be at both. But that fear of missing out 277 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,520 also comes perhaps from a sense of jealousy, comparison and 278 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:08,640 wanting in an unhealthy way everything that everyone has 279 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:11,560 instead of being faithful with what God has called us to. 280 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:17,000 Yeah. And it's I, I think that in the 281 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,960 10 commandments, the last commandment, you shall not covet 282 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,359 your neighbor's house. That's the first thing he said. 283 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,680 He didn't say wife first. He said house. 284 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:30,680 You know, you know, look at his, look at his world, you know, 285 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,240 look at how his world is. And, and, and that covetousness 286 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,360 comes up out of your heart, which is based on selfishness. 287 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,280 And then wife comes next, because there's always somebody 288 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,520 that looks better than there's always somebody better than you 289 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,040 and always somebody worse than you. 290 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,000 So just just stop looking around. 291 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,400 And then his male servant, female servant, that's like he's 292 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,240 got a business. Look at all the employees he's 293 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,680 got. I, I, you know what, I'm 294 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,320 struggling. And then you've got his ox, 295 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,640 which is oxen donkey. That's his like his, his vehicle 296 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,280 that he's driving. Anything else that's your 297 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:10,320 neighbors. And so covetousness is at the 298 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,560 core. It's, it's, it's part of the old 299 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,440 man. Yes. 300 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:18,400 And the fear of missing out. I, I look back at all the times 301 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:23,680 I've made simple choices and it's always been FOMO, fear of 302 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,520 missing out on an opportunity. If I don't take this 303 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,520 opportunity, I'm going to miss out. 304 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,520 Yes, and it's all that that means. 305 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:37,120 It's all about me making the right choice at the right time 306 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,120 and God come alongside and bless it. 307 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,960 And I'm looking for God's blessing and not God's heart. 308 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,040 Looking for God's blessing and not God's heart. 309 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,480 And I would even add to that we're we're looking for self 310 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,240 satisfaction over the will of God. 311 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,920 I think of how many times, Bob, this has happened to me and I'm 312 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,880 sure it's happened. You guys that are listening that 313 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:06,040 I've wanted something so bad and I and not sin, not not sin, 314 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:11,160 although I was probably full of sin, wanting it, coveting it, 315 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,040 jealous of other people that got to do it, you know, maybe 316 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,080 teaching or doing something that God says. 317 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,280 OK, you want that? All right. 318 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:22,720 And he opened the door and I step into it and I can think of 319 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,600 one teaching episode in particular where I was given the 320 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,400 chance to teach something that I really wanted. 321 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,200 And and the key is this. It's not I love teaching. 322 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,040 I love caring for people. But back then that particular 323 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,600 episode, I just wanted to teach for the prominence. 324 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,720 That's what I wanted. I wanted to be prominent. 325 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,080 I wanted to teach this particular group of men this 326 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,960 this way was a senior pastors conference. 327 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,680 And I wanted to teach because in back then God was dealing with 328 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,120 my heart. I didn't even know that that he 329 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:55,280 wanted to humble me away from wanting to impress men because 330 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,720 that's what I wanted to do. So he gave me the opportunity 331 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,920 and I completely bombed. The message I'm sure was 332 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,960 fruitful and I'm sure people were blessed, but very. 333 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,640 Sure, I was there. Do you? 334 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:09,080 Think it bombed bombed but I. Don't, but I did watch it online 335 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,240 but I didn't. Do well. 336 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:15,000 I went over time I it. It didn't go well from a 337 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,480 execution standpoint. I'm sure the God's word doesn't 338 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,720 return void and and it went well that way, but it didn't go well 339 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,960 in an execution standpoint. And then afterwards there were 340 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,560 people criticizing me and they would have done it better and I 341 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,120 don't belong there. I remember even seeing the man, 342 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:34,320 the pastor that invited me, very prominent pastor in our little 343 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,600 family of churches. He put in writing. 344 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,360 He said I should have never invited him. 345 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,800 Like, Oh my, such a such a stab to my heart. 346 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,520 But what what what God was doing. 347 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,720 I can look back with 2020 vision now, though, is what God was 348 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,400 doing. Was this Ed, you really want 349 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,080 that? Yes, God, I really want it. 350 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,840 All right, here have it. And then afterwards he goes so, 351 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,280 So what do you think, you know, in these little conversations 352 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,600 that I'm like, oh Lord, I'm so sorry. 353 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,280 I didn't I, I walked in and I wasn't thinking of you and I 354 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,360 wasn't thinking of the men. I mean, I was tangentially, I'm 355 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,880 sure I, I wasn't a complete heathen. 356 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:16,160 I, I, but I, but I wasn't, I wasn't the man that I am today 357 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,160 in terms of like my heart is just to love and to serve and to 358 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,480 care. And I still love that group of 359 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,440 men. I still love and if I got 360 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,480 another chance to do it, at which I do get a lot of chances, 361 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,600 like my heart is just to, to love and care. 362 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,600 But I can't say it was always that because I had to go through 363 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,400 these experiences and the pressure. 364 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,880 I put pressure on myself to impress. 365 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,160 I put pressure on myself to execute and, and the and how 366 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:47,000 much time I spent on my notes and, and the turns of phrases 367 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:53,080 and I I put all this pressure on myself to aspire to something 368 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:58,120 and I overlooked the God of something and that that was the 369 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:02,040 biggest issue. Yeah, yeah, I. 370 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,840 Remember the only time I I taught in front of Pastor Chuck 371 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:11,400 was on a cruise and it was formal night and it was in a 372 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:16,840 storm and we were in the front of the boat down in down below 373 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:21,720 and, and, and I was, I was dressed up, Ty and all that. 374 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,280 And it was my turn to teach and I was getting sick. 375 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,000 I have a terrible problem with motion sickness, but I can't do 376 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,680 this. This is my one opportunity. 377 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,560 I thought, OK, this is I'm going to do this. 378 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:40,040 And it's like, Lord, please, I don't want to throw up in front 379 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,520 of everybody. That would just be not good. 380 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,360 And so I'm, I'm really focusing, hanging on focusing. 381 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,440 It's my turn. I get up there, I'm hanging on 382 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,240 the pulpit and I look down at my message. 383 00:22:55,320 --> 00:23:00,880 And my three points were inward, upward and outward, which was 384 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,840 like, Lord, please don't let there be an object lesson here. 385 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:09,080 And then, and then I said, OK, I'm not going to look at Pastor 386 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,040 Chuck while I teach. And then toward the end, I 387 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,680 happened to glance. I don't know why I did it. 388 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,800 I, I glanced and Pastor Chuck was staring at me, holding up 389 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:25,320 one finger saying you have one minute because the guy before me 390 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,200 took too much time. And so then I have to like, like 391 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,080 wrap it up and, and get out of there. 392 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,760 And so, I mean, there's, there's so much pressure. 393 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,200 I mean, pressure will always be there in light. 394 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,720 That's. Right and. 395 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:44,400 So how you deal with it? I mean, don't don't think that 396 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,680 if I if I can just live without pressure, then my life would be 397 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:48,960 great. Stop it. 398 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:54,000 It's it's just not reality. But now, Lord, you want to use 399 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,400 even pressure in my life to do something in me. 400 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,680 So help me get the right perspective be. 401 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,000 Honest with the So I think the first step is you be honest that 402 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,120 these things happen. They could be, it could be the 403 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,840 pressure of the situation and we're not even talking sin. 404 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,960 It could be your own pressure you put on yourself. 405 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,760 Some of the examples that we're talking, it could be the 406 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,480 pressure of a season of life. It could be health pressures. 407 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,000 This is it could be ministry pressures. 408 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,960 These are normal. You just need to hear out loud. 409 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:27,440 It is normal to be feeling the pressure you're feeling in the 410 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,120 situation that you're currently in. 411 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,360 It is not unusual. It doesn't make you a bad 412 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:34,240 person. God allows these things. 413 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,360 I think of throughout the scriptures the kind of pressure 414 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:41,240 it was put on the men and women that God has used greatly. 415 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,520 Sometimes it's self-imposed and we certainly don't want that. 416 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,200 Sometimes it's just the circumstance. 417 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:53,440 The first step is to take it to the Lord to be in a mode of 418 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:58,920 living and abiding in Christ, praying, seeking, knocking. 419 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:04,160 Also being receptive to the Lord's answer like you can get 420 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,360 your you, you, you can be so caught up in the pressure of the 421 00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:11,320 situation that you forget reality and want to come back to 422 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:16,720 reality in the circumstances that are before us. 423 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:24,040 But the the relief valve rest prayer worship you. 424 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:28,200 You want to get a relief bowel or you're going to explode. 425 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,960 Getting help, counsel, Right. I can't tell you how many times 426 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,640 a phone call will relieve so much pressure where somebody's 427 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,320 point of view is like, oh, I didn't see that. 428 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:41,880 Yeah. Thank you, brother. 429 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,400 You've given me something to think about. 430 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,600 And what are your thoughts on relieving pressure as we wind 431 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,240 down the episode today? Well. 432 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,520 I think when when we've done pre marriage counseling, one of the 433 00:25:54,800 --> 00:26:01,080 topics we like to talk about is cultural expectations and 434 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,680 pressures with the family of the person that you're thinking of 435 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,680 getting married to. Because there are some family 436 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:15,480 cultures that are very intact and there are, it's almost an 437 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:20,400 honor shame if you don't do things the way our culture does 438 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:26,560 them, you're shaming our family. And when, when people come 439 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,400 together, I mean, it's, they're, they're in love and they're 440 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,240 getting along. But there's the reality that 441 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,080 when you marry somebody, you're marrying their family as well. 442 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,960 I mean, this is that reality. And so are you willing to 443 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:46,320 understand their culture of, of the, the person that you're that 444 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,600 grew up in that and the expectations? 445 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,040 What are you going to do on holidays? 446 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,320 What are you going to do when children come? 447 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,800 What are you going to? I mean, let's think it through. 448 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:59,560 And that's going to be a pressure that you take before 449 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:05,520 the Lord and saying I've got to walk in love and, and you have 450 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,440 to, you have to work that out. Every situation is different, 451 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:13,760 every combination is different. And so pressures will always be 452 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,160 there. But the Lord has the strategy 453 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,480 for every single pressure. He. 454 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:26,600 Does so when you come to the Lord and you lay it before Him. 455 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,200 I, I, let's use your example with the family because there is 456 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,120 a lot of family pressure. Again, every time we're talking 457 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,240 about them, I'm like, man, that would be a good discussion to 458 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,520 have just family pressure, marriage pressure on on. 459 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,080 But you feel the pressure. I remember feeling the pressure 460 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,480 in our family of holidays. Where would we spend holidays 461 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,040 and who would get first time and how long will we stay? 462 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:54,560 And the, the relief valve of that is prayer agreement with 463 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,920 your spouse. Or if the, if it's not a family 464 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,640 example, you know, prayer agreement with the Lord. 465 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,880 And then ultimately you end up making a decision of faith. 466 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:06,800 You're just going to make a decision. 467 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:13,280 And hopefully it all sorts out or people can smell the pressure 468 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,880 that moves you and they can put more pressure on you, manipulate 469 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,400 you to try to move you and, and you, you as you're walking in 470 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,320 the spirit. God is a great protector. 471 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,400 I mean, I do, I do, I do see that in my life. 472 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:31,160 I haven't always seen it because I, I, I acted in the flesh or I 473 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,400 acted wrongly. But when I have seen it, which 474 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,520 is more often than not, God has been very faithful to answer my 475 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:41,080 prayers, to give direction and to relieve the pressure. 476 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,920 And I have people in my life like Marie, who responds to life 477 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,600 very differently than I do, that will talk me off the ledge or 478 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,440 give me a perspective that I'm like, yeah, you know. 479 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,880 And now that I'm getting older too, I have learned I'm just 480 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,680 going to, I've seen God faithful or I, I'm just going to this is 481 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:04,160 hard, this is difficult, this is challenging, but I'm generous. 482 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,280 I'm going to trust the Lord. I'm going to wait it out because 483 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,480 I know that as I waited out, God's going to give me and allow 484 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,440 the situation to be what it is instead of jumping in and making 485 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,560 it all worse and winding myself up and we're his worrying. 486 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,080 Anxiety is a big deal in my life. 487 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,080 So I tend to worry about stuff and get anxious and I can take a 488 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,880 little speck of dust and it before you know it, it's a 489 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,680 fourteener 14,000 feet mountain in my life. 490 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,920 And and Maurice just there like playing with the speck of dust, 491 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,280 you know, juggling it and like like she hasn't done anything 492 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:36,960 with it. But it's like, hey, and it's not 493 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,280 a fatalistic view. It's a faithful view. 494 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,200 Like it's not fatalistic where you just throw your hands up, 495 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:47,200 but rather it's an intentional position of hope and faith in a 496 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,960 God who's been faithful. Amen. 497 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:50,680 And that will relieve the pressure. 498 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,480 With that, we come to the end of another episode of Lead to 499 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,200 Serve. We want to hear from you and 500 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,760 your feedback. Our next episode that after this 501 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,000 is going to be one of the most requested episodes. 502 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:07,160 So we do get your text, we do get your emails and you can text 503 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:17,000 US 720-608-0012, 720-608-0012. You can text us there or e-mail 504 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,040 us.ed@edtaylor.org. Pastor Bob has a website, 505 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:26,120 bobclaycamp.com, and I have a website, edtaylor.org. 506 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,840 This is a production of Calvary Church, Abounding Grace Media as 507 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,560 well here in Aurora, Co. The Lead to Serve podcasts with 508 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:38,280 Pastor Ed Taylor comes to you whenever we finish the seasons 509 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:43,160 because we were able to produce this in light of growing church 510 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,920 and all the other wonderful things that God allows us to be 511 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,280 a part of. So we're very, very grateful to 512 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,520 have you a part of our family talking ministry together. 513 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:57,320 Make sure you get the next episode as well. 514 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,400 It's going to be good. We're going to be talking about 515 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,920 how to build a team. And it may be more than one 516 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,680 episode actually. There's so much to talk about, 517 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,480 but raising up people in the ministry, This by far is one of 518 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:14,200 the most requested topics. It comes in a lot of different 519 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,200 ways, but we're going to just talk it out loud because we've 520 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,560 done this discipleship and done this many, many times, and you 521 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,240 can take and pick and choose what the Lord's going to use in 522 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,840 your life. So until next time, God bless 523 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,400 you guys and have a great day in the Lord. 524 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,040 Thank you for joining us for this episode of Lead to Serve 525 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,360 with Pastor Ed Taylor, a leadership podcast from Calvary 526 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,200 Church in Aurora, Co. If you have a leadership 527 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,680 question you want to hear answered on a future Lead to 528 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,840 Serve podcast, please e-mail it to Pastor Ed at Calvary Co dot 529 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:47,880 church. And if you like our podcast, 530 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,560 please subscribe, rate or review us on iTunes and share us with 531 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,960 your friends on social media. Thanks again for joining us, and 532 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,680 we'll see you next time right here on the Lead to Serve 533 00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:58,440 podcast.