1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,460 So, after that, the theme for tonight's talk is ill-will. 2 00:00:08,380 --> 00:00:11,180 Anger, ill-will, irritation, negativity. 3 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,700 This whole range of emotions, which basically goes from the 4 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:22,672 most serious and most terrible rage, all the way down to the 5 00:00:22,672 --> 00:00:26,098 most slight irritation that we can have almost any time in 6 00:00:26,098 --> 00:00:28,426 daily life. This whole range of emotions is 7 00:00:28,426 --> 00:00:29,680 basically what I'm talking about. 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:35,448 When I say ill-will. And this ill-will, this 9 00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:40,596 emotional state, is a very serious hindrance to one's 10 00:00:40,596 --> 00:00:42,875 spiritual practice. Something which really comes in 11 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:46,362 the way. And for that reason, I think 12 00:00:46,362 --> 00:00:50,676 it's important to talk about it. And also to be very pragmatic 13 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:54,438 about it. And to talk about how can we 14 00:00:54,438 --> 00:00:56,820 overcome this ill-will. What can we do about it? 15 00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:59,820 Practical ways of dealing with this particular. 16 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000 This particular emotion becomes very important. 17 00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:08,740 But before I go on to talk about the practicalities of this, how 18 00:01:08,740 --> 00:01:13,637 to deal with it, I also want to talk a little bit about why it 19 00:01:13,637 --> 00:01:15,960 is so important. What are the problems with 20 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,204 ill-will? And I think straight away, some 21 00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:20,220 of these things will be very obvious to you. 22 00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,880 Why it is such a bad thing with ill-will. 23 00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:25,628 I think it's very, very clear. We all know from our daily 24 00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:28,200 lives, if there is a problem with irritation or ill-will, 25 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:33,200 it's always going to be, disturbing for people around us, 26 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,711 our family, friends, acquaintances, and also for 27 00:01:36,711 --> 00:01:39,240 colleagues and people you meet in everyday life. 28 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,240 There's always problems that arise from ill-will. 29 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:45,574 It's very, very obvious. But also if you look at society 30 00:01:45,574 --> 00:01:49,670 at large, you see so many of the problems that we have in society 31 00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:53,669 at large, whether it's wars, terrorism, ethnic cleansing, 32 00:01:53,669 --> 00:01:55,840 genocide, all these terrible things that are happening around 33 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,601 the world. So much of that is happening 34 00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:02,448 because of ill-will. Because of anger and because of 35 00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:05,530 this particular emotion. So it is a massive problem for 36 00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:08,180 society. And it's a massive problem also 37 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:12,780 in our private lives. That is the obvious reason why 38 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:16,780 ill-will is a problem. But much more subtle than that, 39 00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:22,380 it is also a very big problem if you want to practice a spiritual 40 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,560 life. If you want to be a good person, 41 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,780 obviously ill-will is going to really stand in the way. 42 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,780 It's going to be a massive obstacle for you. 43 00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:35,115 And the way that ill-will is an obstacle, now we're coming more 44 00:02:35,115 --> 00:02:38,600 into the Buddhist context here, the first obstacle is simply 45 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,924 that ill-will in its own right is actually bad kamma according 46 00:02:42,924 --> 00:02:45,782 to Buddhism. Bad kamma means of course that 47 00:02:45,782 --> 00:02:49,448 it is, if you have ill-will, it has negative consequences for 48 00:02:49,448 --> 00:02:52,628 yourself in the future. Ill-will is not some kind of 49 00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:54,780 neutral thing which doesn't have any consequences. 50 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:57,780 Just on its own it has consequences. 51 00:02:57,780 --> 00:03:02,281 And it ripens in suffering. It ripens in pain in the future 52 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,780 for ourselves and obviously also for others. 53 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:10,319 And of course ill-will is not as serious as acting on that 54 00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:12,781 ill-will. If you act on ill-will through 55 00:03:12,781 --> 00:03:16,780 speech and body, of course that is much, much more serious. 56 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,166 But it's still interesting that ill-will on its own is actually 57 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,405 bad kamma. And it ripens in problems in the 58 00:03:23,405 --> 00:03:25,495 future. And you can see that for 59 00:03:25,495 --> 00:03:28,115 example. Imagine if you die with a state 60 00:03:28,115 --> 00:03:31,780 of ill-will in your mind. What happens when you do that? 61 00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,780 What happens if you die with such a state? 62 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:38,180 Well, if you believe in rebirth, obviously that mind is going to 63 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:41,780 go to something which is equivalent to that ill-will. 64 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,780 It's just going to go to a bad state. 65 00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:47,244 It's very obvious. And this is how we can see the 66 00:03:47,244 --> 00:03:50,924 ripening of ill-will in itself as having bad consequences for 67 00:03:50,924 --> 00:03:55,782 the future. That is one aspect why ill-will 68 00:03:55,782 --> 00:04:00,090 is so problematic. Another aspect is simply that if 69 00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:04,116 you have a mental state of ill-will, we all probably, many 70 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:07,780 of you probably know the very famous verse in the Dhammapada, 71 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:11,496 first verse and second verse in Dhammapada, which says that mind 72 00:04:11,496 --> 00:04:15,115 is a forerunner. And just like, I don't think I 73 00:04:15,115 --> 00:04:18,779 can do it actually verbatim, or anything like that. 74 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,550 But basically the idea is that mind is the forerunner of all 75 00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:23,691 things. So that if you do something with 76 00:04:23,691 --> 00:04:26,780 a bad mind state, then bad things are going to come to you. 77 00:04:27,780 --> 00:04:33,280 And I think similarly something like just as the cart follows 78 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:37,780 the ox's hoof when you plough or something like that. 79 00:04:37,780 --> 00:04:41,780 So the mind of ill-will is always the forerunner. 80 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:47,030 And one way this makes itself happen is that when you, in 81 00:04:47,030 --> 00:04:50,418 daily life, if you tend to have, when you tend to have irritation 82 00:04:50,418 --> 00:04:53,964 or ill-will in your mind, then your actions and your speech 83 00:04:53,964 --> 00:04:56,780 will tend to be accordingly. They will tend to be negative. 84 00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:59,580 They will tend to be negative. And they will tend to be 85 00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:03,280 influenced by that ill-will. And it's actually very, it's 86 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:08,004 very tiring and very problematic to always have to restrain 87 00:05:08,004 --> 00:05:11,628 yourself from that ill-will. Because that is basically what a 88 00:05:11,628 --> 00:05:13,780 lot of the spiritual life is about. 89 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:17,780 It is to understand that when you have a negative mind state, 90 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:20,780 then you have to hold back and you have to restrain yourself. 91 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:24,780 You can't allow these things to come out in action and speech. 92 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:26,638 Because if you do, you're going to be doing all kinds of stupid 93 00:05:26,638 --> 00:05:29,280 things. Hurting people around you, 94 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:34,115 hurting yourself and whatever. So in a sense it's painful to 95 00:05:34,115 --> 00:05:38,280 have this, to have ill-will. Because once it's there, or 96 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,780 irritation, then the tendency will be to act on it. 97 00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:45,090 And you have to hold back. And that holding back in itself 98 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,780 is painful and is something which hurts. 99 00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:51,780 So for this very reason, if we then can turn the mind around 100 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:55,380 and move it towards, away from ill-will, move it towards loving 101 00:05:55,380 --> 00:06:00,923 kindness, compassion, empathy, even equanimity with other 102 00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:05,310 beings, then you can see that you are, just as you are moving 103 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:08,530 the mind away from that, you will also be moving your other 104 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:11,780 actions of speech and body away from these things. 105 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:15,628 Because just as mind is forerunner when it comes to 106 00:06:15,628 --> 00:06:18,782 these negative states, it is obviously also forerunner when 107 00:06:18,782 --> 00:06:22,530 it comes to the positive states. So if you have a positive mind 108 00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:25,780 state, then it's going to be very easy to do nice things. 109 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,780 It comes automatically. It's no longer a burden on you. 110 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,780 It happens on its own, so to speak. 111 00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:35,980 And the spiritual life becomes much more automatic and much 112 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:40,281 easier to do. So you can see here the enormous 113 00:06:40,281 --> 00:06:42,780 benefits of actually improving your mental state. 114 00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:47,780 As it improves gradually, step by step, then gradually, step by 115 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:52,014 step, also, virtue, kindness, morality, all these other things 116 00:06:52,014 --> 00:06:54,780 happen much more automatic to you. 117 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:58,780 And it becomes much more easy to practice this spiritual life. 118 00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:02,780 And I think this is an enormous benefit, obviously. 119 00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:06,473 And this is one reason why working on these kind of mind 120 00:07:06,473 --> 00:07:10,448 states and trying to turn them around and move them into a 121 00:07:10,448 --> 00:07:15,280 direction of kindness instead is so powerful and has so much 122 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,780 potential. But there is more than that, 123 00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:22,473 because the other area in which having a positive mind is very 124 00:07:22,473 --> 00:07:24,780 helpful is obviously from meditation practice. 125 00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:28,380 Ill will or even slight irritation or even just 126 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:32,670 negativity is going to be incredibly problematic in 127 00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:35,780 meditation practice because the mind is not pure. 128 00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:39,473 You're going to find it's very hard to focus on anything, to 129 00:07:39,473 --> 00:07:41,530 practice. Even to be mindful is going to 130 00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:43,780 be difficult if you have these negative mind states. 131 00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:47,336 And the more pure the mind is, the more free it is from these 132 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,530 negative states, and the more positive states you have 133 00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:52,780 developed, the more powerful your meditation is going to be. 134 00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:57,180 So it is very important. Actually, a very important 135 00:07:57,180 --> 00:08:00,447 practice for those people who are serious about meditation 136 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:05,326 practice to try to reduce ill, negative states as much as 137 00:08:05,326 --> 00:08:09,418 possible. So these are some of the 138 00:08:09,418 --> 00:08:13,180 profound and very important benefits of reducing these 139 00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:16,320 negative states. And it's interesting also to 140 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,447 note that the Buddha said something very interesting about 141 00:08:19,447 --> 00:08:23,180 ill will. Those of you who have some 142 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:26,336 knowledge of the suttas, you may realize that the Buddha usually 143 00:08:26,336 --> 00:08:29,780 talked about three types of root problems in the mind. 144 00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:33,780 Now these three root problems are beside ill will. 145 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,780 There's also like desire or greed. 146 00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:39,780 And the last one is delusion. Delusion basically means that 147 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:44,782 you don't know what's going on. You're looking at the world in a 148 00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:48,380 way which is not conducive to happiness for yourself or for 149 00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:50,380 others. That's basically what delusion 150 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:52,580 means. And the Buddha said that of 151 00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:56,475 these three root defilements, the one which is easiest to get 152 00:08:56,475 --> 00:09:00,781 rid of is actually ill will. That's the one which is easiest 153 00:09:00,781 --> 00:09:03,580 to deal with. And for that reason alone, it 154 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:06,600 becomes very important obviously to deal with this particular 155 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,780 thing because it isn't that difficult. 156 00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:12,780 And I think it's obviously, I should say relatively easy here 157 00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:16,780 because obviously it's not that easy. 158 00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:19,780 But it's more easy than, for example, greed or desire. 159 00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:22,924 And you can see why. The reason why is obviously 160 00:09:22,924 --> 00:09:26,780 because anger, or ill will, or irritation, it's painful. 161 00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:30,066 It's something which hurts you before it hurts the person that 162 00:09:30,066 --> 00:09:33,780 you may be angry at or the situation you may be angry at. 163 00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:38,114 It's a bit like the ancient simile of picking up a piece of 164 00:09:38,114 --> 00:09:40,780 hot coal to throw it at somebody else. 165 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,580 Now the person you burn first when you pick up a piece of hot 166 00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:46,780 coal is yourself and not the other person. 167 00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:49,780 And anger is in a sense exactly the same. 168 00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:52,780 If you're going to be angry, you are going to hurt yourself 169 00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:58,496 before you hurt the person or whoever it is who is the object 170 00:09:58,496 --> 00:10:02,030 of that anger. So for that reason, because it 171 00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:05,780 is painful, not only is it painful, but it's very clear 172 00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:09,067 that the consequences are so negative, it becomes relatively 173 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:12,280 easy to overcome it. And there are of course also 174 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:16,780 some very good strategies to use to overcome these states. 175 00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:21,180 By comparison, a thing like greed, for example, or desire, I 176 00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:25,236 mean, first of all, if we just desire, it very often can be 177 00:10:25,236 --> 00:10:27,780 fairly harmless. It doesn't necessarily harm 178 00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:31,352 anybody else. And moreover, it tends to be 179 00:10:31,352 --> 00:10:33,964 pleasurable. It tends to be, you know, if we 180 00:10:33,964 --> 00:10:37,180 desire some food or desire to go to the movies or whatever, all 181 00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:40,580 these are pleasurable objects. And for that reason, this desire 182 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:43,964 or greed is something much more difficult to give up because it 183 00:10:43,964 --> 00:10:47,780 has this sense of something nice about it usually, something we 184 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:50,280 actually want to do. And the last thing, delusion, 185 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,780 well, delusion is really, really, really difficult. 186 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:54,780 And the reason is because delusion means not understanding 187 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:58,655 things properly here. And because you don't understand 188 00:10:58,655 --> 00:11:01,580 things properly here, you will tend not to see that you don't 189 00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:04,780 understand things properly here. You won't be able to see this. 190 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,495 It is a blind spot for you. You can't see what's going on 191 00:11:07,495 --> 00:11:09,880 there. And that's why it's so hard to 192 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,496 give it up. And if somebody else tells you 193 00:11:12,496 --> 00:11:16,145 that you should look at it this way, you will tend to reject 194 00:11:16,145 --> 00:11:19,447 that because you are already looking at things in a certain 195 00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:21,115 way. You are already looking at 196 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,448 things in a certain way which may not be good, which may 197 00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:27,780 actually be conducive to harm and all kinds of problems. 198 00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:29,780 So delusion is very difficult to give up. 199 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:32,780 So ill will here is the one which is easiest to give up. 200 00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:37,114 And also, in addition to that, ill will is the one which is 201 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,418 most harmful. Just like I said before, it's 202 00:11:39,418 --> 00:11:42,600 harmful for your spiritual life. It's harmful for harmony between 203 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,495 you and your family and friends. It is harmful for society in 204 00:11:46,495 --> 00:11:49,352 general. So it's a very harmful emotional 205 00:11:49,352 --> 00:11:51,781 state. So that's the other reason why 206 00:11:51,781 --> 00:11:54,280 it is so. There is a lot of incentive 207 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,580 there to give it up because it causes so much trouble for 208 00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:00,781 ourselves and others. Whereas greed, as I said before, 209 00:12:00,781 --> 00:12:03,780 isn't that harmful. Delusion is very harmful. 210 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:06,780 But because it's so difficult to give up, it's probably not the 211 00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:12,860 best place to start. So that is just to give you some 212 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,780 incentive there to practice this. 213 00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:19,780 Once we have the incentive, the next aspect is to ask ourselves, 214 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:24,066 well, how, what are the ways, what are the strategies that we 215 00:12:24,066 --> 00:12:28,780 can use to give up these negative emotional states? 216 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:34,136 And maybe before I go on to the strategies, I should talk a 217 00:12:34,136 --> 00:12:38,251 little bit about the, because this is quite important as well, 218 00:12:38,251 --> 00:12:41,780 the mechanism by which ill will arises in the mind. 219 00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:46,369 Because it may seem obvious, but I think the Buddha made it very 220 00:12:46,369 --> 00:12:48,780 clear in the suttas how ill will arises. 221 00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:51,495 How ill will arises. How anger actually arises in the 222 00:12:51,495 --> 00:12:53,210 mind. It's quite, obviously quite an 223 00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:55,496 important topic. Otherwise, you wouldn't have 224 00:12:55,496 --> 00:12:58,964 spoken about it. And when I thought about giving 225 00:12:58,964 --> 00:13:02,916 this, talking about ill will, it occurred to me that a nice title 226 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:07,280 for this sort of talk would be Deal with Anger Before Anger 227 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:11,354 Deals with You. And the reason I thought that 228 00:13:11,354 --> 00:13:15,848 would be a good title for the talk is because anger dealing 229 00:13:15,848 --> 00:13:18,780 with you sounds, to some people, may sound a bit strange. 230 00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:22,380 Because anger is not really something which deals with 231 00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,280 anything. Anger is just something which 232 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,580 comes up in the mind. And for anybody who is not a 233 00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:33,115 Buddhist and who doesn't have, if you like, a little bit of 234 00:13:33,115 --> 00:13:36,166 introspection on how anger works, they won't really 235 00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:40,780 understand what is meant by this anger dealing with you. 236 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:44,030 But if you have a little bit of introspection and you know how 237 00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:47,480 the mind works, you know that if you are overcome by anger, 238 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:51,936 irritation, or negativity, then it's almost like you become a 239 00:13:51,936 --> 00:13:55,781 victim of that anger. It's almost like you can't do 240 00:13:55,781 --> 00:13:58,658 anything about it. Once it becomes strong in the 241 00:13:58,658 --> 00:14:02,380 mind, it's like anger becomes the lord, so to speak, the 242 00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:07,030 overlord which controls you. And it's very, very difficult to 243 00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:12,448 do anything. And so this is why it becomes so 244 00:14:12,448 --> 00:14:16,495 frightening in a sense. Because once we allow it to 245 00:14:16,495 --> 00:14:19,780 arise, it becomes very hard to deal with it. 246 00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:23,336 And the Buddha explained basically what happens with 247 00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:25,448 anger. Basically what is happening with 248 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:30,336 anger and ill will is that the reason it arises in the mind is 249 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:34,780 because we are focusing on a repulsive object. 250 00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:38,352 We are focusing on something which we don't like, something 251 00:14:38,352 --> 00:14:41,780 negative, something which is unpleasant basically. 252 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:45,709 And when we see this repulsive thing or we hear something 253 00:14:45,709 --> 00:14:50,552 repulsive or whatever, then ill will, irritation, etc. can arise 254 00:14:50,552 --> 00:14:55,418 in the mind because of that. So this is basically what we 255 00:14:55,418 --> 00:14:59,780 have to look out for. And this is a place where 256 00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,780 mindfulness becomes very important. 257 00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:06,780 Very often, there's so much said about mindfulness in Buddhism. 258 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,280 It's a very, very important concept in Buddhism, the concept 259 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,405 of mindfulness. It is useful in all kinds of 260 00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:14,580 areas. But very often it is talked 261 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,780 about together with insight. And understanding. 262 00:15:18,780 --> 00:15:22,532 But actually, mindfulness is important already at this very, 263 00:15:22,532 --> 00:15:27,380 very simple level of just being able to understand how the mind 264 00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:31,728 works and to be able to see what is going on in the mind in terms 265 00:15:31,728 --> 00:15:34,380 of these negative states. Already at this point, 266 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:36,780 mindfulness is powerful and very important. 267 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:40,447 Because if you are going to catch yourself about to get 268 00:15:40,447 --> 00:15:44,691 irritated or about to get angry, then you have to see what is 269 00:15:44,691 --> 00:15:46,193 happening inside the mind. And if you are going to catch 270 00:15:46,193 --> 00:15:47,144 yourself about to get irritated or about to get angry, then you 271 00:15:47,144 --> 00:15:48,780 have to see what is happening inside the mind. 272 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:52,530 And if mindfulness is powerful, you will actually be able to see 273 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,680 that, OK, if I continue focusing on this object, if I continue 274 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:59,628 listening to what this person is saying, it's only going to be a 275 00:15:59,628 --> 00:16:01,780 matter of seconds before something starts happening. 276 00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:04,780 I start to get irritated or I start to get angry. 277 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,924 So you can catch yourself very, very early on and you can see 278 00:16:07,924 --> 00:16:10,780 that something is about to happen which is not good. 279 00:16:10,780 --> 00:16:13,780 And of course, that is very important. 280 00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:16,209 And it is very important because, as I said before, once 281 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:20,495 anger is established in the mind, then you become a slave to 282 00:16:20,495 --> 00:16:24,166 it and it's almost impossible to do anything about it once it's 283 00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:27,280 established there. It's not impossible, but it 284 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,530 takes time then. It's not going to go away very 285 00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:32,180 quickly. It takes much more time and it's 286 00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:35,114 much more difficult. The sooner you can catch it, the 287 00:16:35,114 --> 00:16:38,980 more effective is going to be the antidote that you put into 288 00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:44,780 place to get rid of it. So this is an important point. 289 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:48,280 An important power of mindfulness to actually catch 290 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:52,780 these things early. But still, we might be... 291 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:55,780 You might see that something is going on wrong in the mind. 292 00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:58,980 We may see that, well, if I continue focusing on this, then 293 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,780 something bad is going to happen inside of me. 294 00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:05,030 We might be able to see that. But that is obviously not in 295 00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:08,579 itself enough because just sitting there and seeing anger 296 00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:11,780 arising, anger arising, it's not going to do anything. 297 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,980 We also have to put an antidote into place, to do something 298 00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:17,780 about it. And that is the next... 299 00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:22,114 So that is the next step then. What, how can we deal with these 300 00:17:22,114 --> 00:17:24,380 negative states? What are some effective 301 00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:27,780 strategies for dealing with anger and negativity? 302 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:40,780 And these strategies, in a sense, they work on two levels. 303 00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:45,115 The first one is that if you catch yourself, and you see that 304 00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:49,448 you're about to get angry, bang, in comes a strategy, and you use 305 00:17:49,448 --> 00:17:52,780 it to stop it just there, just before it arises. 306 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:57,280 But of course, being realistic, we also have to realize that 307 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,780 very often we just won't be able to catch it in time. 308 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:03,030 It's going to be too late. And then these strategies also 309 00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:06,780 can be used to overcome the anger which has already arisen. 310 00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:09,680 Even though that's more difficult, obviously it is 311 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,780 something that we also have to do. 312 00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:14,655 So it has this two-pronged, two-pronged thing that we can 313 00:18:14,655 --> 00:18:17,447 use it for. And the first of these 314 00:18:17,447 --> 00:18:22,530 strategies is what you might call the strategy of seeing 315 00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:26,780 things as the way they are. The way it is. 316 00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:30,638 The way it is is a fairly well-known book by an American 317 00:18:30,638 --> 00:18:33,530 monk called Ajahn Sumedho, which probably many of you have heard 318 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:36,328 of. He is one of the senior Western 319 00:18:36,328 --> 00:18:39,780 disciples of Ajahn Chah. And he lives in England. 320 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:43,780 And he wrote a book many years ago called The Way It Is. 321 00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:46,680 I can't remember the content very well anymore because I read 322 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,780 it about ten years ago or something. 323 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:53,780 But the essence, as I remember, of that book is that the world 324 00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,780 basically works in a certain way. 325 00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:02,670 This is the way the world is. And because the world works in a 326 00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:06,780 certain way, then basically we're going to have to accept it 327 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:09,780 that this is the way the world works. 328 00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:14,447 And the point here is that so often we get angry and we get 329 00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:18,405 upset and we get irritated about things that we can't do anything 330 00:19:18,405 --> 00:19:20,495 about. There's nothing we can do about 331 00:19:20,495 --> 00:19:23,352 things. We meet people who say stupid 332 00:19:23,352 --> 00:19:25,780 things, who say irritating things. 333 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:27,780 But that's just the way life is, isn't it? 334 00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:30,670 You're not going to be able to get away from meeting people who 335 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,780 say stupid or irritating things. It's impossible. 336 00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:36,530 This is the nature of being a human being, is that you're 337 00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:39,030 going to meet stupid people. So unfortunately, but that's the 338 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,447 case, isn't it? And sometimes they're not even 339 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:42,780 stupid. Sometimes it's just we who 340 00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:45,780 perceive them to be stupid. That's the other thing here. 341 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:49,530 So because of that, because this is the way it is, basically what 342 00:19:49,530 --> 00:19:53,780 you have to do is say, well, I can't do anything about this. 343 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,780 I just have to sit back. I'm going to have to accept. 344 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,780 I'm going to have to just let go, basically. 345 00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:04,780 There's nothing else to do here. That's all I can really do. 346 00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:08,691 And it can be this. I know many people who have used 347 00:20:08,691 --> 00:20:10,780 this sort of technique. And they're not Buddhists. 348 00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:13,780 They're not even religious. They're ordinary people in 349 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,210 ordinary life. Because they have realized for 350 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:18,780 themselves that, well, this life is like this. 351 00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:23,115 Reality is like this. It throws up all these painful 352 00:20:23,115 --> 00:20:26,880 and negative situations. And it's just most of the time 353 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,003 it is completely, actually all of the time, I should say, not 354 00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:33,210 most of the time, all of the time, it is senseless to react 355 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:35,780 with anger because it is not going to change anything. 356 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:38,780 The world is like this. Things are like this. 357 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:44,280 There's nothing I can do here. So what this means is that when 358 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,780 you, in your life, and you see that something is happening, 359 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,780 somebody is saying something which is irritating or negative 360 00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:55,144 or bad, and you see that if I continue focusing on this, then 361 00:20:55,144 --> 00:20:59,114 anger or irritation is going to arise in my mind, then 362 00:20:59,114 --> 00:21:01,780 straightaway I tell you, well, this is life. 363 00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:05,780 This is what I have to expect. This is the way people are. 364 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:08,495 And because people are this way, because this is the way things 365 00:21:08,495 --> 00:21:09,780 are, there is no reason to get irritated. 366 00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:12,780 There is no reason to get angry about this. 367 00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:14,780 I'm going to have to accept this. 368 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:18,280 I'm going to have to let go. And then there already you have 369 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:23,780 a very, very powerful technique for overcoming these unwholesome 370 00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:27,964 things. So that is the first strategy or 371 00:21:27,964 --> 00:21:34,680 technique, if you like. The second one is what you might 372 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,924 call giving people or giving things situations, but 373 00:21:38,924 --> 00:21:42,780 particularly people, giving them the benefit of the doubt. 374 00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:46,530 And this is another very, very important thing to do because it 375 00:21:46,530 --> 00:21:51,580 is so easy to judge situations and to judge people and to think 376 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:54,780 that we understand where they're coming from, what they're doing, 377 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,780 and why they're doing what they're doing. 378 00:21:56,780 --> 00:21:59,066 And because we think we understand what is happening, we 379 00:21:59,066 --> 00:22:02,495 have the right to be angry. We have the right to become 380 00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:04,780 upset and to get irritated with these people. 381 00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:07,780 But so often we just don't understand. 382 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:09,780 So often we judge people in the wrong way. 383 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:14,924 We take the situations wrongly, not really understanding what is 384 00:22:14,924 --> 00:22:17,781 going on. And basically we get upset and 385 00:22:17,781 --> 00:22:20,447 irritated for nothing because there wasn't really anything 386 00:22:20,447 --> 00:22:24,280 there to get upset with. For example, we may feel that 387 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:29,209 somebody is acting in a way which is strange and wrong and 388 00:22:29,209 --> 00:22:31,030 irritating. But then we actually realize 389 00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:34,030 that it's not, it's got nothing to do with us that they're 390 00:22:34,030 --> 00:22:35,780 acting this way. This is the way they are. 391 00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:38,614 This is the way this person is. And they're like this to 392 00:22:38,614 --> 00:22:39,638 everybody. It is a very, very powerful 393 00:22:39,638 --> 00:22:41,780 technique. It's just one of their habits. 394 00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:44,780 And it's a completely impersonal thing. 395 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:48,116 And because of that, you just have to give that person the 396 00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:51,030 benefit of the doubt. They're not coming from anger or 397 00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:55,326 ill will or from negativity or trying to harm us or trying to 398 00:22:55,326 --> 00:22:56,780 be stupid or trying to do anything wrong. 399 00:22:56,780 --> 00:23:00,114 It's just the way they are, just the way they have been 400 00:23:00,114 --> 00:23:03,180 conditioned in life that they do this particular thing which 401 00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:07,115 happens to irritate us. So we have to give the person 402 00:23:07,115 --> 00:23:11,280 the benefit of the doubt that they're not doing anything 403 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:15,780 purposely to make us irritated or angry. 404 00:23:15,780 --> 00:23:19,924 And there is a, I think there is a nice saying, I think it's a 405 00:23:19,924 --> 00:23:22,780 French saying originally, which I really like. 406 00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:27,030 And this saying goes something like this, that to understand 407 00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:30,780 everything is to forgive everything. 408 00:23:30,780 --> 00:23:36,280 And I'm sure you can relate to that from just what I just said 409 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,209 just now, that if you understand everything about yourself, if 410 00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:41,905 you understand everything about other people, if you understand 411 00:23:41,905 --> 00:23:46,328 the way they are conditioned, the way, the reason why they act 412 00:23:46,328 --> 00:23:50,155 the way they do, if you understand their sufferings, if 413 00:23:50,155 --> 00:23:54,067 you understand their sorrows and their pains, if you understand 414 00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:58,235 everything about a person, then you can forgive them because 415 00:23:58,235 --> 00:24:03,380 you, in a sense, can put yourself in their shoes and you 416 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:05,780 understand exactly why they're doing what they're doing. 417 00:24:05,780 --> 00:24:07,780 So to understand everything is to forgive everything. 418 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:12,448 And it becomes very powerful because it means that if you 419 00:24:12,448 --> 00:24:16,209 don't forgive somebody, if you can't let go of their anger, it 420 00:24:16,209 --> 00:24:18,780 means that you're not understanding them. 421 00:24:18,780 --> 00:24:21,114 It means that you are not, there's something there you're 422 00:24:21,114 --> 00:24:23,924 not seeing. If you had seen it, you would 423 00:24:23,924 --> 00:24:30,114 have been able to forgive. So this, again, the second 424 00:24:30,114 --> 00:24:34,580 method, giving people the benefit of the doubt, again, can 425 00:24:34,580 --> 00:24:37,066 become very powerful. And again, as I said before, you 426 00:24:37,066 --> 00:24:40,530 can use it at the moment when you think anger is about to 427 00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:42,448 arise. You say, wait a minute, I don't 428 00:24:42,448 --> 00:24:45,030 really understand this person. I don't really know where 429 00:24:45,030 --> 00:24:47,780 they're coming from. Why should I judge them? 430 00:24:47,780 --> 00:24:51,226 There is no need to judge them. Much better to let go and to 431 00:24:51,226 --> 00:24:52,780 give them the benefit of the doubt. 432 00:24:52,780 --> 00:24:57,448 And again, if anger has already risen, then again, it can become 433 00:24:57,448 --> 00:25:01,780 a very useful way of thinking about what has already happened. 434 00:25:01,780 --> 00:25:10,380 So both of those techniques can be very powerful and can be very 435 00:25:10,380 --> 00:25:12,447 strong. But they're very kind of 436 00:25:12,447 --> 00:25:14,380 non-religious. They are just ordinary 437 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,780 psychology, which probably any psychologist could tell you. 438 00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:20,447 There's ordinary common sense, really, to look at things this 439 00:25:20,447 --> 00:25:23,180 way. But now I want to move on to 440 00:25:23,180 --> 00:25:27,114 some methods which are more like Buddhist methods of overcoming 441 00:25:27,114 --> 00:25:29,780 anger. And the first of these methods 442 00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:34,352 is to use the laws of kamma, to help you overcome these negative 443 00:25:34,352 --> 00:25:36,691 states. And there's two ways we can use 444 00:25:36,691 --> 00:25:39,397 the laws of kamma. The first one is to think that 445 00:25:39,397 --> 00:25:44,780 there is no need for me to take revenge or to get angry with 446 00:25:44,780 --> 00:25:48,004 this person. Because if this person really 447 00:25:48,004 --> 00:25:52,180 has done something wrong, really has been nasty in some way, then 448 00:25:52,180 --> 00:25:55,780 they will get retribution through the laws of kamma. 449 00:25:55,780 --> 00:25:58,691 I don't have to deal with them. The laws of kamma will deal with 450 00:25:58,691 --> 00:26:01,495 them on their own. And besides, I don't really know 451 00:26:01,495 --> 00:26:03,780 anything about if they have been nasty anyway. 452 00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:06,782 So either way, there's no point in actually being angry with 453 00:26:06,782 --> 00:26:10,780 them or being upset with them. And the laws of... 454 00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:14,155 What is important here is maybe to have some understanding of 455 00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:16,780 how powerful these laws of kamma are. 456 00:26:16,780 --> 00:26:21,448 If you accept the laws of kamma, then the Buddha said that the 457 00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:24,780 law of kamma is not like a one-to-one retribution. 458 00:26:24,780 --> 00:26:28,558 You do something bad, and you get exactly the same thing in 459 00:26:28,558 --> 00:26:30,780 return. It doesn't work like that. 460 00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:34,780 The law of kamma has this incredible multiplier effect. 461 00:26:34,780 --> 00:26:38,780 So a person does something bad, and they get something in return 462 00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:42,780 many, many, many fold over because of that. 463 00:26:42,780 --> 00:26:45,780 And this can be frightening. It can be scary. 464 00:26:45,780 --> 00:26:50,448 Because you get the sense that doing bad things is actually 465 00:26:50,448 --> 00:26:54,560 something which can cause so much suffering and so much harm 466 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:58,495 for yourself in the future. So when you see something doing 467 00:26:58,495 --> 00:27:01,530 something which you think that they are doing it for the wrong 468 00:27:01,530 --> 00:27:05,114 reason, they are being nasty or something, then think about how 469 00:27:05,114 --> 00:27:07,780 much suffering they are creating for themselves. 470 00:27:07,780 --> 00:27:11,030 They may be creating a little bit of suffering for you because 471 00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:13,872 you have to go through the situation, but they are creating 472 00:27:13,872 --> 00:27:17,780 far, far, far, far, far, far more suffering for themselves in 473 00:27:17,780 --> 00:27:20,530 the future. And this way you can turn the 474 00:27:20,530 --> 00:27:22,780 attention a little bit away from yourself. 475 00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:24,780 Forget about yourself for a minute. 476 00:27:24,780 --> 00:27:26,780 It's so easy to be self-centered. 477 00:27:26,780 --> 00:27:28,780 I think that's one of the human conditions. 478 00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:30,780 We always tend to be self-centered. 479 00:27:30,780 --> 00:27:34,780 We look at ourselves and think, oh, I'm really hurt. 480 00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:36,780 And it's obvious because we can feel our own pain. 481 00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:39,780 So it's quite natural to be self-centered to some extent. 482 00:27:39,780 --> 00:27:44,352 But in this case, it's very wise to turn the attention away from 483 00:27:44,352 --> 00:27:48,580 yourself and turn it towards the other person instead and realize 484 00:27:48,580 --> 00:27:52,638 that the pain that they are creating for themselves is just 485 00:27:52,638 --> 00:27:56,530 so enormous and so bad. And the results for them in the 486 00:27:56,530 --> 00:27:58,780 future are going to be very severe. 487 00:27:58,780 --> 00:28:03,030 And then you can actually turn potential irritation, potential 488 00:28:03,030 --> 00:28:06,780 anger into empathy and compassion instead. 489 00:28:06,780 --> 00:28:09,780 Because that's what compassion is all about. 490 00:28:09,780 --> 00:28:12,780 Compassion is about seeing the suffering of others. 491 00:28:12,780 --> 00:28:16,115 And when you see the suffering of others, well, often you tend 492 00:28:16,115 --> 00:28:19,780 to feel a sense of... You feel something there. 493 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:22,780 You feel that, oh, this is terrible that this person or 494 00:28:22,780 --> 00:28:24,892 this animal or whoever has to suffer so much. 495 00:28:24,892 --> 00:28:27,280 When I say ill-will. So if you're not blinded by 496 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,781 anger already, then you might be able to give rise to that sense 497 00:28:29,781 --> 00:28:31,980 of compassion, empathy, What can we do about it? 498 00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:34,580 to this other person. Because you see what a terrible 499 00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:39,780 state they are in. And again, I think, personally, 500 00:28:39,780 --> 00:28:41,780 I feel this can be a very powerful technique. 501 00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:44,980 It's obviously a Buddhist technique, but it's something I 502 00:28:44,980 --> 00:28:46,780 think everybody should try to use. 503 00:28:46,780 --> 00:28:50,447 Because it can turn something potentially unwholesome into 504 00:28:50,447 --> 00:28:53,418 something wholesome. And that is obviously what we 505 00:28:53,418 --> 00:28:57,980 are really trying to do, is to eliminate the unwholesome so 506 00:28:57,980 --> 00:28:59,780 that we can give rise to the wholesome instead. 507 00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:02,780 So if you can do everything in one go, great. 508 00:29:02,780 --> 00:29:05,780 Go for it. That's the way to go. 509 00:29:07,780 --> 00:29:12,780 The second way that we can look at kamma and make use of kamma 510 00:29:12,780 --> 00:29:18,280 to overcome these negative states is to realize that if 511 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:23,281 something bad happens to us, then very often it is because of 512 00:29:23,281 --> 00:29:28,280 our own bad kamma in the past. We are probably deserving of 513 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,780 this. It may not be true, but it is. 514 00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:34,251 It may not be a nice thought. But the point here is not so 515 00:29:34,251 --> 00:29:38,530 much that we have done anything specific in the past that we 516 00:29:38,530 --> 00:29:42,236 deserve now to suffer for that. That is not so much the point I 517 00:29:42,236 --> 00:29:44,691 want to make. Because a lot of the things, a 518 00:29:44,691 --> 00:29:49,155 lot of the problems that we encounter in daily life cannot 519 00:29:49,155 --> 00:29:52,892 often be traced to a specific cause, to a specific action that 520 00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:56,780 we have done before, either in this life or in a previous life. 521 00:29:56,780 --> 00:30:00,344 Rather, it is much more useful to think about it, as having bad 522 00:30:00,344 --> 00:30:02,593 consequences for the future. to look at this as the result of 523 00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:05,780 kamma or having been born into the human state. 524 00:30:05,780 --> 00:30:10,012 Because the human state is a state of mixed happiness and 525 00:30:10,012 --> 00:30:12,780 mixed suffering. There is a little bit of each. 526 00:30:12,780 --> 00:30:16,980 And being born as a human being means, as I said before, that 527 00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:18,780 you are going to meet all kinds of people. 528 00:30:18,780 --> 00:30:21,780 You cannot avoid people who are going to irritate you. 529 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:23,780 They will tend to be negative. You cannot avoid accidents. 530 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:27,780 You cannot avoid troubles with the government or with whatever. 531 00:30:27,780 --> 00:30:29,780 These things are going to happen. 532 00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:30,925 Because that is basically what a lot of the spiritual life is 533 00:30:30,925 --> 00:30:31,780 about. And this is just the way it is. 534 00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:33,780 And you are going to have to accept it. 535 00:30:33,780 --> 00:30:38,055 And it is, if you like, the kamma, the result of having been 536 00:30:38,055 --> 00:30:40,780 born as a human being, basically. 537 00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:44,604 A human being means there is going to be a fair share of 538 00:30:44,604 --> 00:30:47,336 suffering in your life. You are not going to get away 539 00:30:47,336 --> 00:30:49,580 from it. Obviously, you are going to have 540 00:30:49,580 --> 00:30:53,003 more happiness than suffering, most of the time anyway, because 541 00:30:53,003 --> 00:30:56,924 that is also the result of being human, is that you get mostly 542 00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:58,949 pleasant states. But you are not going to get 543 00:30:58,949 --> 00:31:01,336 away from those negative states. So again, when you look at it 544 00:31:01,336 --> 00:31:03,780 that way, you say, OK, I am a human. 545 00:31:03,780 --> 00:31:07,780 What do I expect? I have to expect these things. 546 00:31:07,780 --> 00:31:10,780 So you don't get so upset when they happen to you. 547 00:31:10,780 --> 00:31:17,448 Now, I want to say a little bit more about this, because what I 548 00:31:17,448 --> 00:31:18,780 just said may sound very deterministic. 549 00:31:18,780 --> 00:31:21,780 It may sound like, well, I should just sit back and accept 550 00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:24,780 whatever happens to me and never really try to deal with it, 551 00:31:24,780 --> 00:31:26,780 never try to do anything about it. 552 00:31:26,780 --> 00:31:28,780 And that is not really what I am saying. 553 00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:35,003 What I am saying is just that if something bad happens to you, is 554 00:31:35,003 --> 00:31:37,670 so powerful and has so much potential. which is always a bad 555 00:31:37,670 --> 00:31:40,252 solution in almost all situations, I am not going to 556 00:31:40,252 --> 00:31:43,486 try to speculate whether there are good situations to get angry 557 00:31:43,486 --> 00:31:47,780 in, but I would say it is always basically a bad response. 558 00:31:47,780 --> 00:31:53,030 So because of that, it is useful to think that I am human, these 559 00:31:53,030 --> 00:31:55,780 things happen to me, and this is the way it is. 560 00:31:55,780 --> 00:31:59,780 But, and then comes the next step, to do something about it. 561 00:31:59,780 --> 00:32:04,145 When you realize that to be human, there is a lot of 562 00:32:04,145 --> 00:32:06,872 suffering in being a human being, then you ask yourself, 563 00:32:06,872 --> 00:32:12,055 well, what can I do about this? What should my strategy be to 564 00:32:12,055 --> 00:32:17,638 reduce this suffering in myself? And here comes in another 565 00:32:17,638 --> 00:32:21,447 beautiful simile, which is taught by the Buddha in the 566 00:32:21,447 --> 00:32:24,964 suttas. And this is the famous simile of 567 00:32:24,964 --> 00:32:29,780 the lump of salt. Which you may have heard before. 568 00:32:29,780 --> 00:32:34,210 And what this simile essentially says is that if you have a lump 569 00:32:34,210 --> 00:32:37,638 of salt, now this lump of salt is a simile for the amount of 570 00:32:37,638 --> 00:32:39,780 bad things that you have done in the past. 571 00:32:39,780 --> 00:32:42,980 If you have a lump of salt, about ill will. and you stick 572 00:32:42,980 --> 00:32:47,280 that lump of salt in a glass of water, then that water is going 573 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,726 to become undrinkable. Now the water in the glass of 574 00:32:50,726 --> 00:32:53,780 water is the amount of good kamma that you have made. 575 00:32:53,780 --> 00:32:56,580 So you have made a small amount of good kamma, only a glass of 576 00:32:56,580 --> 00:33:04,780 water, I'm talking about something quite substantial now, 577 00:33:04,780 --> 00:33:06,496 not one of those tiny grains of salt we normally see here. 578 00:33:06,496 --> 00:33:07,780 That's the one which is easiest to deal with. 579 00:33:07,780 --> 00:33:10,780 You put that in a glass of water, it becomes undrinkable. 580 00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:13,780 That is the result of the bad kamma. 581 00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:17,780 It tastes terrible. It becomes undrinkable. 582 00:33:17,780 --> 00:33:21,947 And that is, that taste, that bitterness of that taste, The 583 00:33:21,947 --> 00:33:23,617 reason why is obviously because anger,that is the experience of 584 00:33:23,617 --> 00:33:24,780 the bad actions that you have done.. 585 00:33:24,780 --> 00:33:25,396 It becomes bad. It's something which hurts you 586 00:33:25,396 --> 00:33:27,580 before it hurts the person Because you have done a small 587 00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:36,448 amount of good kamma, and a fair amount of bad kamma, And anger 588 00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:40,780 is in a sense exactly the same., like a lake or a river. 589 00:33:40,780 --> 00:33:43,550 In the sutta, the Buddha says, you stick it in the river 590 00:33:43,550 --> 00:33:45,782 Ganges. And of course, if you stick that 591 00:33:45,782 --> 00:33:49,210 lump of salt in the river Ganges, and you stir it up 592 00:33:49,210 --> 00:33:51,780 really well, you won't be able to taste it anymore. 593 00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:55,066 Or maybe you will taste a very, very tiny, tiny bit, there 594 00:33:55,066 --> 00:33:58,418 obviously will be salt in there. So there should, at least in 595 00:33:58,418 --> 00:34:02,352 theory, be a tiny taste. But the taste will almost have 596 00:34:02,352 --> 00:34:05,691 disappeared. It tends to be, you know, if we 597 00:34:05,691 --> 00:34:09,280 desire some food or in the large lake that you are putting your 598 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,780 salt in, that is like the good kamma you have made. 599 00:34:11,780 --> 00:34:14,780 You have made an enormous amount of good kamma in your life. 600 00:34:14,780 --> 00:34:18,781 Because of that, the results of the bad kamma will hardly be 601 00:34:18,781 --> 00:34:21,580 noticeable to you. You will hardly know that they 602 00:34:21,580 --> 00:34:24,780 are even happening here. So this then becomes a strategy. 603 00:34:24,780 --> 00:34:28,114 This becomes the right way of dealing with unpleasant things 604 00:34:28,114 --> 00:34:34,429 in life. things properly here. But the right way is just to 605 00:34:34,429 --> 00:34:38,031 realize that if I make good kamma in this life, then I will 606 00:34:38,031 --> 00:34:43,380 experience the negative results of my past bad kamma will become 607 00:34:43,380 --> 00:34:47,580 much less painful. And that becomes a very powerful 608 00:34:47,580 --> 00:34:50,924 incentive to do good. Now obviously, to make a whole 609 00:34:50,924 --> 00:34:53,780 Ganges river of good kamma is not easy. 610 00:34:54,780 --> 00:34:58,473 I think the river Ganges is something like if you are an 611 00:34:58,473 --> 00:35:00,780 Arahant, you have made a river Ganges of good kamma. 612 00:35:00,780 --> 00:35:02,132 There is a lot of incentive there to give it up because it 613 00:35:02,132 --> 00:35:03,574 causes so much But at least you can make much more than a glass 614 00:35:03,574 --> 00:35:05,054 of water. You can maybe make a bucket of 615 00:35:05,054 --> 00:35:08,781 water of good kamma, or a small puddle of good kamma, or a basin 616 00:35:08,781 --> 00:35:11,780 of good kamma, or maybe even a small lake of good kamma. 617 00:35:11,780 --> 00:35:15,782 You can make a lot. And the more you make, the more 618 00:35:15,782 --> 00:35:19,495 diluted that taste of salt is going to be in that body of 619 00:35:19,495 --> 00:35:21,780 water. So that is the way to do it. 620 00:35:21,780 --> 00:35:24,447 Don't be fatalistic. This is not the fatalistic 621 00:35:24,447 --> 00:35:26,580 religion. It is about dealing with things 622 00:35:26,580 --> 00:35:30,114 in a skillful way, in a wholesome way, and not in an 623 00:35:30,114 --> 00:35:33,552 unwholesome way. The other thing about this is 624 00:35:33,552 --> 00:35:37,242 that sometimes you may come across situations which are so 625 00:35:37,242 --> 00:35:39,090 difficult to deal with that you don't really know what to do. 626 00:35:39,090 --> 00:35:40,780 And when I thought about giving this, talking about ill will, 627 00:35:40,780 --> 00:35:43,838 For example, there may be a situation where somebody is very 628 00:35:43,838 --> 00:35:45,780 irritating over a long period of time. 629 00:35:45,780 --> 00:35:49,417 And you realize that even though you use these skillful 630 00:35:49,417 --> 00:35:52,447 techniques, you try to use them, you can't actually make them 631 00:35:52,447 --> 00:35:53,780 work. And fair enough. 632 00:35:53,780 --> 00:35:56,780 We have to be realistic about spiritual life. 633 00:35:56,780 --> 00:36:01,114 Spiritual life is about both being idealistic, but also 634 00:36:01,114 --> 00:36:04,090 realistic. Don't be so idealistic that you 635 00:36:04,090 --> 00:36:06,780 try the impossible in your spiritual life. 636 00:36:06,780 --> 00:36:08,780 Otherwise, you are just going to get frustrated. 637 00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:11,780 And frustration is another form of anger. 638 00:36:11,780 --> 00:36:13,780 So then you have a problem again. 639 00:36:13,780 --> 00:36:17,394 So the thing to do is sometimes if you come across a situation 640 00:36:17,394 --> 00:36:20,236 which is really, really difficult, sometimes it is best 641 00:36:20,236 --> 00:36:22,780 maybe to try to avoid that situation. 642 00:36:23,780 --> 00:36:27,473 Avoid the person or avoid the situation to the best of your 643 00:36:27,473 --> 00:36:31,380 ability so you don't have to deal with something which 644 00:36:31,380 --> 00:36:36,405 essentially you don't feel up to and which you feel you can't do 645 00:36:36,405 --> 00:36:38,495 basically. This is realism in the spiritual 646 00:36:38,495 --> 00:36:40,496 life. Sometimes these things happen 647 00:36:40,496 --> 00:36:44,580 and it's okay. Maybe you feel that, well, if I 648 00:36:44,580 --> 00:36:48,280 just walk away, that will have a negative impact on me or a 649 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,780 negative impact on the other person. 650 00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:54,780 But the point is that if you find it very difficult, then the 651 00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:59,725 impact of that negativity or irritation is going to be much, 652 00:36:59,725 --> 00:37:04,004 much worse than the impact of sometimes just staying away and 653 00:37:04,004 --> 00:37:07,030 staying aloof. So because at least when you 654 00:37:07,030 --> 00:37:10,352 stay aloof, you don't have to do it with a mind of negativity or 655 00:37:10,352 --> 00:37:12,046 ill will. You just do it because you 656 00:37:12,046 --> 00:37:14,570 realize that this is what I have to do in this particular 657 00:37:14,570 --> 00:37:17,780 situation. So again, it's not about being 658 00:37:17,780 --> 00:37:20,780 deterministic in spiritual life. It's not about accepting 659 00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:25,781 everything as it is. It's about making the best out 660 00:37:25,781 --> 00:37:30,782 of the situation and sometimes even avoiding situations which 661 00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:35,783 are too difficult or even finding ways out of situations 662 00:37:35,783 --> 00:37:40,280 which are neither avoiding nor anything else, but using your 663 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:45,780 imagination and intelligence to find a way of dealing with it 664 00:37:45,780 --> 00:37:52,209 which is not unwholesome. So that is the kamma aspect and 665 00:37:52,209 --> 00:37:54,780 using kamma to overcome ill will. 666 00:37:54,780 --> 00:37:59,858 The last thing I want to talk about for overcoming these 667 00:37:59,858 --> 00:38:04,628 negative states is I want to bring up a simile which Ajahn 668 00:38:04,628 --> 00:38:08,448 Brahm wrote about or has written about in his book, Opening the 669 00:38:08,448 --> 00:38:11,780 Door of Your Heart. And it's a very profound simile. 670 00:38:11,780 --> 00:38:14,780 And I must say that this book which Ajahn Brahm has written, 671 00:38:14,780 --> 00:38:17,691 Opening the Door of Your Heart, on the surface it may seem like 672 00:38:17,691 --> 00:38:23,352 a very simple book. All the stories are very easily 673 00:38:23,352 --> 00:38:26,530 read and they are very easy to take in on the superficial 674 00:38:26,530 --> 00:38:28,068 level. But some of these stories are 675 00:38:28,068 --> 00:38:29,780 really profound. So this is an important point. 676 00:38:29,780 --> 00:38:31,704 And if you look at them carefully, you will see that 677 00:38:31,704 --> 00:38:33,780 there is a lot of profundity in these stories. 678 00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:38,114 So often it's worthwhile reading this book many times over to 679 00:38:38,114 --> 00:38:41,780 actually allow the stories to sink in properly and to 680 00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:44,780 understand the deeper aspects of them. 681 00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:47,352 And one of these stories which actually has a very deep aspect 682 00:38:47,352 --> 00:38:50,780 to it is the story which you may remember. 683 00:38:50,780 --> 00:38:54,638 It's in the chapter of anger and forgiveness, I think it's 684 00:38:54,638 --> 00:38:57,780 called, something like that. It's the first story there. 685 00:38:57,780 --> 00:39:00,780 It's about a simile of the red light. 686 00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:04,448 And this simile which Ajahn Brahm brings up, and he doesn't 687 00:39:04,448 --> 00:39:07,114 explain it in that much detail, so you have to be quite 688 00:39:07,114 --> 00:39:10,780 perceptive to understand the full depth of this simile here. 689 00:39:10,780 --> 00:39:15,924 But the point of this simile is that what Ajahn Brahm says is 690 00:39:15,924 --> 00:39:19,480 that sometimes we also have to realize that very oftene driving 691 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:22,566 along, they are in a hurry, they have a meeting they want to get 692 00:39:22,566 --> 00:39:24,780 to, there is something important, somewhere important 693 00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:29,030 that they have to get to. And just as they are approaching 694 00:39:29,030 --> 00:39:32,780 a light, it turns red. And they get angry. 695 00:39:32,780 --> 00:39:34,780 They get really, really upset at this red light. 696 00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:36,780 They start shouting, you terrible light! 697 00:39:36,780 --> 00:39:39,032 And he lives in England. You got angry because you saw me 698 00:39:39,032 --> 00:39:41,530 coming around the corner. You knew I was coming around the 699 00:39:41,530 --> 00:39:43,780 corner. You terrible, terrible light! 700 00:39:45,780 --> 00:39:54,447 grab hold of the, what was it called, you just did this on 701 00:39:54,447 --> 00:39:58,980 purpose. And of course the point here is 702 00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:01,872 of course that who say irritating things. if other 703 00:40:01,872 --> 00:40:04,558 people see you do that, and they see you starting shaking a red 704 00:40:04,558 --> 00:40:07,670 light because they get so angry with it, they will think that 705 00:40:07,670 --> 00:40:10,780 you are a bit funny, a bit crazy even. 706 00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:14,280 And fair enough, you know. You are acting in a slightly 707 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,780 crazy way if you start shaking a red light. 708 00:40:16,780 --> 00:40:20,710 You actually, you are, you are treating this light as if it has 709 00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:24,180 a will of its own, as if it is deciding to do something, which 710 00:40:24,180 --> 00:40:27,054 of course it isn't. And the point here is of course 711 00:40:27,054 --> 00:40:33,114 that a red light has an electronic circuit in it, after 712 00:40:33,114 --> 00:40:36,030 three minutes you become red, after another two minutes you 713 00:40:36,030 --> 00:40:39,114 become green again, and after another three minutes you become 714 00:40:39,114 --> 00:40:42,328 red again. So it is absolutely silly to go 715 00:40:42,328 --> 00:40:46,580 to a red light and shout at it and scream at it because there 716 00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:50,447 is absolutely nothing that a red light can do about that 717 00:40:50,447 --> 00:40:52,655 situation. A red light is completely 718 00:40:52,655 --> 00:40:55,780 without any decisions. Yes, I am going to get red now 719 00:40:55,780 --> 00:40:58,780 when that person comes. It doesn't do that. 720 00:40:58,780 --> 00:41:00,780 A red light just becomes red of its own. 721 00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:04,780 It is very obvious, isn't it? But the point of this simile, 722 00:41:04,780 --> 00:41:10,980 and I don't know how clear it is when you read it, is that people 723 00:41:10,980 --> 00:41:13,780 are in effect just like red lights. 724 00:41:13,780 --> 00:41:18,280 When you come across somebody who does something, which is not 725 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:22,030 nice, come across somebody who does something you feel is a bit 726 00:41:22,030 --> 00:41:26,508 nasty or negative or something which you don't like, then in 727 00:41:26,508 --> 00:41:29,780 effect you can see them as a red light. 728 00:41:29,780 --> 00:41:32,447 Why is that? Because this person is doing 729 00:41:32,447 --> 00:41:36,280 this, not because they are thinking, ha, I am going to get 730 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,114 this person. They are doing it because some 731 00:41:38,114 --> 00:41:40,934 kind of condition which has arisen, some kind of cause which 732 00:41:40,934 --> 00:41:42,627 has happened inside of them. giving them the benefit of the 733 00:41:42,627 --> 00:41:44,924 doubt. Remember in Buddhism we teach 734 00:41:44,924 --> 00:41:47,780 the doctrine that there is no self. 735 00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:51,115 So there is nobody sitting in there thinking, ha, I am going 736 00:41:51,115 --> 00:41:55,030 to treat this person badly. There are just conditions and 737 00:41:55,030 --> 00:41:56,780 there are causes arising in the mind. 738 00:41:56,780 --> 00:42:01,180 These causes and conditions make this person do these things in 739 00:42:01,180 --> 00:42:05,180 exactly the same thing as causes and conditions make a red light 740 00:42:05,180 --> 00:42:08,780 go red every five minutes or three minutes or whatever. 741 00:42:08,780 --> 00:42:12,880 It is a very powerful simile and it is very difficult to actually 742 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:18,923 grasp it fully. You can only grasp this fully I 743 00:42:18,923 --> 00:42:21,380 would say. to get upset with. Because to understand non-self 744 00:42:21,380 --> 00:42:25,580 fully is only a person on the path to enlightenment which can 745 00:42:25,580 --> 00:42:29,352 understand these things. But it is very useful still 746 00:42:29,352 --> 00:42:32,614 nonetheless if you can grasp the general idea of what is going on 747 00:42:32,614 --> 00:42:34,530 here. That a person is like a red 748 00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:38,782 light because they are conditioned by causes and by all 749 00:42:38,782 --> 00:42:41,615 kinds of things around t em. Then you will start to 750 00:42:41,615 --> 00:42:43,530 understand It's just one of their habits. much more about 751 00:42:43,530 --> 00:42:48,780 Buddhism understanding of what runs people around you. 752 00:42:48,780 --> 00:42:52,280 But because it is difficult to understand, because it is 753 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,209 profound, you will not always be able to make this work because 754 00:42:55,209 --> 00:42:58,872 it is just too much basically. But still it is something that 755 00:42:58,872 --> 00:43:01,780 you can play around with and see if you can make it work. 756 00:43:05,780 --> 00:43:11,209 Okay, so those are the five ways that I want to talk about, about 757 00:43:11,209 --> 00:43:13,780 ways of overcoming these negative emotions. 758 00:43:15,780 --> 00:43:21,780 And I have the way that you should use these five ways. 759 00:43:21,780 --> 00:43:23,780 I should say a little bit about that. 760 00:43:23,780 --> 00:43:27,530 First of all, it is not necessary obviously to use these 761 00:43:27,530 --> 00:43:29,780 things just as I have been mentioning them now. 762 00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:33,380 Very often the most effective way of using something is 763 00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:37,495 bringing your own understanding and your own wisdom into the 764 00:43:37,495 --> 00:43:40,892 picture. Because it is when it is your 765 00:43:40,892 --> 00:43:44,447 own understanding and your own wisdom which uses a particular 766 00:43:44,447 --> 00:43:46,780 technique, it becomes much more powerful for you. 767 00:43:46,780 --> 00:43:49,280 It is not something which you are using automatically, but it 768 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,447 is something which you really feel that you understand in your 769 00:43:52,447 --> 00:43:53,781 heart. you would have been able to forgive. 770 00:43:53,781 --> 00:43:54,780 And that is what makes it powerful. 771 00:43:55,780 --> 00:43:59,781 So don't use these things automatically, but think about 772 00:43:59,781 --> 00:44:02,474 them and reflect and see if there is a way that you can make 773 00:44:02,474 --> 00:44:05,530 them real in your own life and make them powerful in your own 774 00:44:05,530 --> 00:44:08,030 life. And you can even use completely 775 00:44:08,030 --> 00:44:10,495 different strategies. If you have your own favourite 776 00:44:10,495 --> 00:44:13,780 strategy which works for you, then you can use that as well. 777 00:44:13,780 --> 00:44:16,782 Basically, these strategies, And again, if anger has already 778 00:44:16,782 --> 00:44:19,781 risen, or not, ell. . fe. s it powerful. see that so is by the 779 00:44:19,781 --> 00:44:22,180 results they give. It is the result which is the 780 00:44:22,180 --> 00:44:24,530 important factor here in whether these strategies are good or 781 00:44:24,530 --> 00:44:26,780 not. And the way to use them is that 782 00:44:26,780 --> 00:44:31,115 don't wait with using these things until a situation happens 783 00:44:31,115 --> 00:44:34,924 when you actually need it. Try sometimes to reflect on 784 00:44:34,924 --> 00:44:37,964 these things. Reflect on whether any of these 785 00:44:37,964 --> 00:44:41,780 techniques make sense to you. Reflect, maybe bring up a person 786 00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:46,180 which sometimes irritates you, maybe even a colleague or maybe 787 00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:49,236 even a family member. You know what it is like if you 788 00:44:49,236 --> 00:44:51,780 have lived together for a long, long, long time. 789 00:44:51,780 --> 00:44:55,380 Then there is always a tendency that there are small things then 790 00:44:55,380 --> 00:45:00,030 they will get retribution It comes up and it is like they are 791 00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:02,780 pushing a button and irritation comes up. 792 00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:08,328 So when you are by yourself, see if you can think about this 793 00:45:08,328 --> 00:45:11,780 person or that situation and bring up one of these techniques 794 00:45:11,780 --> 00:45:15,781 and see if you can overcome it. You can overcome that problem by 795 00:45:15,781 --> 00:45:18,180 using this technique. So in a sense you are building 796 00:45:18,180 --> 00:45:20,780 up some muscle before the situation actually happens. 797 00:45:20,780 --> 00:45:23,781 And you are making these perceptions, these are basically 798 00:45:23,781 --> 00:45:27,892 perceptions or ideas, you are making them work before the 799 00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:31,580 situation occurs so that when the situation happens you have 800 00:45:31,580 --> 00:45:34,780 some power there, you have some muscle that you can use. 801 00:45:34,780 --> 00:45:41,580 So this becomes important. The one thing which I haven't 802 00:45:41,580 --> 00:45:45,352 talked about at all and which may surprise some of you, is I 803 00:45:45,352 --> 00:45:48,114 haven't talked about metta practice, or loving-kindness 804 00:45:48,114 --> 00:45:50,495 practice. Because this is a very powerful 805 00:45:50,495 --> 00:45:52,780 technique that we use in Buddhism. 806 00:45:52,780 --> 00:45:56,780 And the reason I haven't talked about it is basically because I 807 00:45:56,780 --> 00:46:01,114 wanted to talk about how to deal with anger just as it is about 808 00:46:01,114 --> 00:46:04,780 to arise or when it has already arisen. 809 00:46:04,780 --> 00:46:08,448 Now loving-kindness is something that you should use not when 810 00:46:08,448 --> 00:46:11,380 anger is already there, but you should use it when you are 811 00:46:11,380 --> 00:46:13,638 feeling good, when you are feeling happy, when you are 812 00:46:13,638 --> 00:46:16,655 feeling good about yourself. You don't have any particular 813 00:46:16,655 --> 00:46:19,780 irritations or angers to the people around you. 814 00:46:19,780 --> 00:46:21,780 That's when you should develop it. 815 00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:25,530 Because if you already have a mind which is negative, it is 816 00:46:25,530 --> 00:46:27,780 very difficult to make loving-kindness work. 817 00:46:27,780 --> 00:46:30,780 It just doesn't come up in the mind. 818 00:46:30,780 --> 00:46:34,280 So build up loving-kindness, certainly do loving-kindness 819 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,405 meditation or even just loving-kindness practice of any 820 00:46:37,405 --> 00:46:40,114 kind. Do that because it is a very 821 00:46:40,114 --> 00:46:42,780 powerful technique to overcome anger. 822 00:46:42,780 --> 00:46:46,380 But do it when you are feeling good, when you are feeling 823 00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:51,352 happy. And then as you practice this 824 00:46:51,352 --> 00:46:55,054 loving-kindness, as you start to perceive the good in people 825 00:46:55,054 --> 00:46:58,352 around you, this is what loving-kindness essentially is 826 00:46:58,352 --> 00:47:01,780 about, it's about perceiving the goodness in people around you. 827 00:47:01,780 --> 00:47:04,226 As you do that, then this is again another powerful waythen 828 00:47:04,226 --> 00:47:07,780 you might be able to give rise of counteracting anger. 829 00:47:07,780 --> 00:47:10,780 Because seeing goodness is the opposite of getting angry. 830 00:47:10,780 --> 00:47:14,880 And the more goodness you see, the less likely it is that you 831 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:18,447 will become irritated or angered by anybody or by any particular 832 00:47:18,447 --> 00:47:21,448 person. So definitely use it, but don't 833 00:47:21,448 --> 00:47:23,780 use it when you are angry already. 834 00:47:26,780 --> 00:47:32,638 Okay, so the last thing I should maybe say is that like all 835 00:47:32,638 --> 00:47:38,655 things in the spiritual life, Practice these things over long 836 00:47:38,655 --> 00:47:41,780 periods of time. Test them out. 837 00:47:41,780 --> 00:47:43,780 And don't look for results straight away. 838 00:47:43,780 --> 00:47:47,145 Look for results after maybe a few months, That is not so much 839 00:47:47,145 --> 00:47:50,530 the point I want to make. And then you will start to see 840 00:47:50,530 --> 00:47:54,053 that these things actually work. I always like to, I always, one 841 00:47:54,053 --> 00:47:57,550 thing I always do in my monastic life is I, I always look back at 842 00:47:57,550 --> 00:48:00,495 myself and look at what was I like when I started out as a 843 00:48:00,495 --> 00:48:02,780 monk. And what am I like now? 844 00:48:02,780 --> 00:48:05,780 And I always, that makes me very happy when I do it that way. 845 00:48:05,780 --> 00:48:09,780 But if I look at all the flaws we are still to get dealt with, 846 00:48:09,780 --> 00:48:12,780 then it can sometimes be a bit more depressing. 847 00:48:12,780 --> 00:48:15,780 But you have to have that long perspective. 848 00:48:15,780 --> 00:48:18,530 And you have to have the perspective of maybe 10 years 849 00:48:18,530 --> 00:48:19,780 even, which I have as a monk now. 850 00:48:19,780 --> 00:48:23,166 It doesn't have to be that long. But that is very helpful because 851 00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:26,780 you can see a lot of progress in 10 years' time. 852 00:48:26,780 --> 00:48:31,924 So don't be impatient. And this is just the way it is. 853 00:48:31,924 --> 00:48:37,780 And one thing is absolutely sure, the results will happen. 854 00:48:37,780 --> 00:48:40,780 Okay. Thank you. 855 00:48:47,780 --> 00:48:55,055 So... Any questions or comments or 856 00:48:55,055 --> 00:48:57,780 anything anybody wants to say here? 857 00:49:05,780 --> 00:49:11,780 is t at you get mostly pleasant states.g hu Right. 858 00:49:11,780 --> 00:49:15,780 Very open. You become rigid and angry. 859 00:49:15,780 --> 00:49:18,780 Right. Yeah. 860 00:49:18,780 --> 00:49:20,780 Right. Exactly. 861 00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:24,780 Yeah, that's true. And this is one of the places, 862 00:49:24,780 --> 00:49:26,780 that's why you will find resistance. 863 00:49:26,780 --> 00:49:29,780 You can use these techniques which I just mentioned. 864 00:49:29,780 --> 00:49:31,780 But you're going to find resistance in there often. 865 00:49:31,780 --> 00:49:34,892 And often they won't work. And very often that is 866 00:49:34,892 --> 00:49:37,418 precisely, as you say, it's the ego, it's the self which gets in 867 00:49:37,418 --> 00:49:38,780 the way. They have hurt me. 868 00:49:38,780 --> 00:49:41,780 I am upset. Right? 869 00:49:41,780 --> 00:49:43,780 It becomes a personal thing, you know. 870 00:49:43,780 --> 00:49:47,380 And one of the ways of actually countering that is, one of the 871 00:49:47,380 --> 00:49:50,447 ways which I sometimes use as well, is that to think that, 872 00:49:50,447 --> 00:49:52,780 well, this person, this is actually not a personal thing. 873 00:49:54,780 --> 00:49:58,924 does something wrong, and you have made The reason they do it 874 00:49:58,924 --> 00:50:03,030 is because, if it is directed towards you, it is some kind of 875 00:50:03,030 --> 00:50:06,780 aspect within you, which has triggered that particular thing. 876 00:50:06,780 --> 00:50:10,210 Now, if that aspect had been present, if it wasn't in some 877 00:50:10,210 --> 00:50:12,780 other person, it would also trigger that thing here. 878 00:50:12,780 --> 00:50:15,530 So it is an impersonal thing. It has nothing to do with you, 879 00:50:15,530 --> 00:50:17,691 basically. So you have to think of this 880 00:50:17,691 --> 00:50:20,780 thing in impersonal ways, and you can start to take it away. 881 00:50:20,780 --> 00:50:23,580 But I think you're quite right. In all situations, this is never 882 00:50:23,580 --> 00:50:27,699 going to be perfect. You're never going to be able to 883 00:50:27,699 --> 00:50:31,880 overcome anger 100% like this. So you're just going to have to 884 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,780 gradually reduce it, and reduce it, and reduce it. 885 00:50:34,780 --> 00:50:37,780 And until you become an anagami, almost fully enlightened, 886 00:50:37,780 --> 00:50:41,448 there's always going to be a residue there of anger, or at 887 00:50:41,448 --> 00:50:44,782 least potential anger left. You have made an enormous amount 888 00:50:44,782 --> 00:50:48,964 of good kamma in your life. is as you practice and as you go 889 00:50:48,964 --> 00:50:52,859 along this path, you will find that your sense of ego is going 890 00:50:52,859 --> 00:50:54,780 to get reduced, slowly and surely. 891 00:50:54,780 --> 00:51:00,781 As you become more virtuous, you find a sense of internal 892 00:51:00,781 --> 00:51:03,033 happiness inside you. But the right way is just to 893 00:51:03,033 --> 00:51:05,178 realize that if I make good kamma in this life, That sense 894 00:51:05,178 --> 00:51:06,602 of internal happiness is independent of the causes 895 00:51:06,602 --> 00:51:07,558 outside. You don't feel that you have to 896 00:51:07,558 --> 00:51:08,892 do anything. You don't have to defend 897 00:51:08,892 --> 00:51:10,780 yourself so much anymore, because you have something 898 00:51:10,780 --> 00:51:17,236 powerful inside of you, which works instead. and you can leave 899 00:51:17,236 --> 00:51:19,780 these things behind gradually, step by step. 900 00:51:19,780 --> 00:51:25,004 So the spiritual path itself, with all the various factors 901 00:51:25,004 --> 00:51:29,448 that it actually employs, will slowly but surely reduce that 902 00:51:29,448 --> 00:51:37,030 problem as well. Anybody else have anything they 903 00:51:37,030 --> 00:51:40,780 want to say? Okay. 904 00:52:07,780 --> 00:52:11,780 Thank you.