Take your Bibles tonight, if you will, and turning them to
Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6.
It's been a little while since we have done one of the
discovering the stories of the Bible.
We just had so many other things that have that have come up and
so many different messages that I've preached and I'm not doing
it tonight either. I will get back to it very soon
though. I'm going to give you a message
tonight on the family and we're going to begin here in Ephesians
chapter 6. I think this is probably going
to go till next week as well. But there's there's so many
things and it's it's a tremendous, tremendous thing, I
believe to have young people in our church.
And I'm so thankful for that. And you know, I say it so often
they are the next generation. And I think a lot of the
messages that we preach out to be on the family.
And I know that some of you are, you know, you have kids that are
grown and gone and you have grandkids that are grown and
gone and you have great grandkids that are grown and
gone. I'm just kidding.
You don't have that old. Nobody's in here that old, but
you have your kids are gone. And, and, you know, sometimes
all this is not for us, you know, but I think all of these
things are things that we can learn from because not only is
it for the parents who are doing it and, and raising their
children now, but you are an example to the parents who are
raising their kids and you're an example to the kids themselves.
And I mean, you can not only that, but you can be, you can be
a help to your grandkids on top of it.
You know, sometimes you get opportunities here and there to
spend some time with them, just you and them.
And man, they look up to you. You're their grandparents.
You know, you can do no wrong and you don't have to spank them
and send them back. You know, you can just be so
nice. And but this is a great
opportunity for you to kind of get some of these things in
there and, and you know, have a heart to heart talk, if you
will, with them about some of these things.
That'll just be a big help to them as well.
So, but not only that, these are all things that we can improve
on in our own lives and not only so that we can be an example,
but so that we can be pleasing to the Lord.
And all of these things are things that I believe will help
us. So I appreciate you being here
and I hope this will be a help to you tonight.
But I'll tell you this. Well, let's just read Ephesians
chapter 6. I'm just going to read the first
2 verses there tonight. This is for the parents, but
this is also for the children's, for both, maybe directed more at
the parents than the kids, but it's definitely, definitely for
the young people as well. Children, obey your parents and
the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and mother,
which is the first commandment with promise.
Does it ever seem to you that respect has evaporated from our
society? I don't think that's that's not
even really a question anymore where whether or not there's
respect, narcissism, sarcasm, disregard for authority.
I mean, it pervades our entire society.
And one of the sure signs I read this.
I mean, the the bad thing is there's a lot of stories to pick
from. If you just go back into the
news this week or the last couple weeks, you'll find 345
stories just like this. But I heard about this 124 year
old was at Costco and they had a sample of some crackers with
some Nutella on it. And he went over there and
started eating all of the samples, just one rat after the
other. A 78 year old guy walked up and
was getting ready to grab the last one.
And this guy went to grab it in front of him and the old man
said, hey, leave me, leave me at least one.
You ate all the other samples. And this 24 hour guy turned
around and punched the 78 year old man in the face, knocked him
out. He had to be taken to the
hospital, bleeding and everything else over a Costco
sample. You know, it used to be that a
24 year old number one wouldn't be the one gobbling up all the
samples in Costco, would be the five year olds that are doing
that, right? But it used to be that you had
respect for your elders. You're 78, You go in front of
me, right? Let me help you with that.
Even if you're capable, you've you've earned it because of your
age right here, let me give you a sample.
Take this, you know, it's the it's the exact opposite of that.
And you know, during the late 60s and the 70s and I wasn't
alive then, but I've read a lot about it.
The rebellion against society really was at its peak.
And you know this, this rebellion against not just
society, but against authority. You know, the hippie movement
that came about during that whole time, the anti
establishment, all of those things.
It isn't quite today what it was decades ago, but it's still
alive and well in different forms.
And honestly, I mean you, what do you expect to happen?
When the 60s and 70s hippie generation raised the generation
that grew up in the 90s and the 2000s and now they're raising
another generation, What did you expect was going to happen?
Other than what's happening, there is no respect left in our
society. And where is it eroding?
What's eroding it? I guess that'd be the question
to ask. The loss of respect, though,
begins in the home. It shows itself in society, but
it begins in the home and many times by parents who don't even
know or don't even realize, maybe I should say, that they
are contributing to the loss of respect in our society.
This was a study that was done in 1947, a publication that was
done by a Harvard society professor by the name of Carl
Zimmerman. And he published this this this
study in 1947. So this tells you how far it
goes back. But he traced the historical
disintegration of cultures to the disintegration of the
family. And I don't know exactly how he
did all of his research and everything else.
But among the list of the indicators, indicators for the
deterioration, he said fewer children and less respect for
parents and parenthood. That's where it started.
That was back in 1947. And so it is today.
Adults believe that that that having children is a waste and
that parenting is a burden. That's what gave rise and made
it made abortion so such a great option for so many people.
And now you have these women who are not just, you know, standing
up for abortion, but championing it and and parading around,
talking about how proud they are that they've had an abortion.
That is a disintegration of respect in society, not just for
other people, not just for parents, for themselves, for for
life, for everything. And parenthood today is even
viewed with less respect. You know, most of these
Hollywood actors and things like that, they go through their
entire careers. They're 455055 years old before
they finally decide to settle down and have kids, right?
Because I've got a career that I'm trying to, to, you know,
establish and I've got a, a job that I'm trying to do and I just
don't have time or place for children.
Not every one of them is like that, but that's the, that's
the, that's the thinking with many of them.
Children often have less respect for their parents as well.
And you know, the, the more sarcastic a child is to a
parent, the funnier it is. And I'll be honest with you, a
lot of it started with Hollywood because they started producing
movies and TV shows and all of these other things that made the
dad look like the Dunts and made the mom look like she didn't
know what she was talking about and made the kids the heroes of
all these movies. You know, the parents get
themselves into a difficult situation and it's the kids that
have to get them out of that difficult situation because the
parents are too dumb to know what the kids already know,
right? It's not that way in real life,
but that's what we've taught our children.
That's what and and listen, that's what we've taught our
parents. The parents have that mindset
now and so they don't demand respect.
They don't, they don't, they don't earn that respect.
And so everything just erodes. How do we turn that trend
around? How do we teach our children the
fundamental values of respect? Well, the Bible word that's used
most commonly for respect is honor.
We see that word all over the place in the Bible.
In fact, I've got a lot of different verses.
Turn to as many of these as you can with me.
But wonder is a thread that runs throughout the Scripture and
it's commanded in society. It's commanded in the church,
it's commanded in the home. So here's a here's a bunch of
examples. Number one, turn over to Romans
13. I'll give you just a few seconds
to get there and then I'm going to read it.
If you can get there, maybe just write it down.
You can go back and look at these a little bit later if it's
easier. But citizens are are are to
honor their government. Now that's a, that's a place
where a lot of those things have broken down, isn't it?
Romans 13 verse #7 render therefore to all their dues,
tribute to whom tribute is due custom to whom custom, fear to
whom fear, honor to whom honor. And again, I'm not going to, I'm
not going to take the time to explain every one of these
points because we'd be here all night and this would be the end
of it. But you know, honestly, it's
exactly what we see in our society today.
Listen, I there's a lot of politicians that I don't agree
with, right? I was, I did not agree with Joe
Biden's policies, probably 99.9% of them.
But if I met Joe Biden in a parking lot, I wouldn't punch
him in the face and knock him out.
I would treat him with the respect that is due the
President of the United States because of that position.
Most people wouldn't do that, right?
Give the opportunity and they'd shoot Donald Trump in the face
if they could do it right? Because there's no respect.
There's no respect for the office.
There's no respect for those that are in, in our government.
And the Bible commands it. And, and Romans 13 is a whole
chapter about that. It's just one verse that, that,
that, that talks about that. But #2 Christian employees are
to honor their employers. First Timothy chapter 6.
We have that obligation.
We have that duty, right? You look at our society today,
the employees always are demanding this and demanding
that, and you don't pay me enough and you don't give me
that. You were the one that agreed to
work for that, right? Give an honest day's wage.
Want to sue the employer because they're trying to make more
money for nothing. First Timothy chapter 6 and
verse one. Let as many servants as are
under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honor,
that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed.
That's pretty strong when you think about it, right?
You, you give it to your master so that you don't dishonor the
name of God, blasphemy, the name of God.
That's that's pretty strong. Pretty strong language there.
First Timothy chapter 5, churches, that's number three
are to honor their leaders. First Timothy chapter 5 and
verse #17 let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of
double honor, especially they who labor in the word and
doctrine #4 church members are to honor one another.
Let's go to Romans chapter 12, Romans chapter 12.
And these are just single verses, but there's many, many
verses on each one of these things that that that give us
these ideas and these principles and these commands because
that's what they are. Romans chapter 12 and verse 10
be kindly affectioned 1 to another with brotherly love in
honor, preferring one another. It's that word again.
And every one of these has that word honor in it.
But it's it's the idea of respect with respect toward one
another. How about first Timothy chapter
5? Turn back over there.
I know we were just there. I should have kept your finger
there. But first Timothy chapter 5,
churches are to honor their widows.
First Timothy chapter 5 and verse #3 honor or respect widows
that are widows indeed. First Peter chapter 3.
First Peter chapter 3 verse #7 husbands are to honor their
wives. Likewise he husbands dwell with
them. The wives according to
knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel
and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your
prayers be not hindered. We talked about prayer this
morning, sin in our lives, right?
The idea of not honoring your wife hindering your prayers.
That's a pretty serious thing about Ephesians chapter 5.
Ephesians chapter 5 said that husbands are to honor their
wives, wives are to honor their husbands.
Ephesians chapter 5 and verse #33 Nevertheless, let everyone
of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself and the
wife see that she reverence her husband.
Keep your finger there in Ephesians chapter 5, and then go
to Hebrews chapter 13. I could do him out of order, but
then it would be out of order up here.
Hebrews chapter 13 husbands and wives are to honor their marital
vows. Hebrews chapter 13 and verse #4
marriage is honorable and all and the bed undefiled, but whore
monger as an adulterer is God will judge.
Marriage is honorable. You are there in Ephesians
chapter 6 and this is this is kind of the culmination of all
of those things. Ephesians chapter 6 Children are
to honor their parents under thy father and mother verse #2 which
is the first commandment with promise in every relationship,
in every area of life, respect and honor are essential.
But how do we, in a society that is increasingly praising
disrespect, teach our children to value and demonstrate
respect? It begins in the home, begins in
the home and I'll tell you it's moved into our society and every
aspect. And I don't have to tell you
that because you see it everywhere.
But you know, the kid that has the great comeback against the
teacher, you know, everybody's like, you know, praising this
kid for being so witty. It wouldn't, you would never
have seen that 30-40, fifty years ago, that kid would have
been slapped into his place so fast.
He wouldn't have known what hit him, right?
You wouldn't even have done it. Same thing with my parents.
Like when I was growing up, I wouldn't even if I thought about
it and it was a great comeback, I never would have said it to my
dad because I wouldn't have been able to walk for a week.
And I know it and I would, I would have deserved it if that
was the case, right? We were taught respect.
How do we teach that same respect to our children?
Well, there's a few things here that I want to give you.
And so in this lesson tonight, probably moving into next week
as well, what what are God's instructions for raising up a
generation that shows honor and respect?
Let's pray we'll jump into this for a little bit tonight.
Father, again, we thank you so much for your goodness to us.
So thank you for the the heritage that you gave me and
for the the upbringing that many of us in this church had.
I thank you for that God, I pray that you help that us to be able
to pass that on to the next generation that needs that
respect that is required and that is commanded of us in God's
word. And God, may our young people
grow up with the respect not only for their parents, but also
for you, for your will, for the things of God, and that they
have a great desire to follow them because of it.
And we'll thank you for what you do in Jesus name, Amen.
First thing I want you to see is this very simply, expect
respect. Expect respect.
You think about the instructions that were given here in
Ephesians chapter 6. Children, obey your parents and
the Lord honor thy father and thy mother.
Parents clearly have the obligation to expect obedience
and respect from their children, right?
And so the first thing that I want to give you underneath this
is that parents should expect respect.
And I know it's kind of the same, the same point, but I've
got a second point that I'm going to talk to you about that
kind of not contrast, but goes along with that think splitting
it up here is a is a help. Turn over to Joshua chapter 24.
Godly parents are servant leaders in the home, meaning
this. You don't and, and, and we see
this later on in verse #4 of Ephesians chapter 6.
You fathers provoke not your children to wrath.
Bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.
That's a servant leader. Parents don't Lord over your
children as a demanding boss or this authoritarian dictator, but
you lovingly serve them in saying that one of the ways that
you best serve your children is by insisting on their obedience
and their respect. I'm not saying that that you
shouldn't say anything to your children about correcting them
because you're a servant and you're a servant should be a
leader, right? Yes, you should be a servant
leader. But at the same time, the one of
the best ways that you can serve your kids is teaching them that
respect and that honor. Parents who relate to their
children as if their peers ultimately do their kids a great
disservice. I see it happen so often that,
that that parents are buddies with their children.
And I'll see, you know, from time to time a little Facebook
post or something like that. Here's a dad.
He's got his little 7 year old boy.
This, this is my best buddy. No, you're not buddies.
You're the dad. He's the child.
That's the relationship. Be buddies when he gets to be 21
years old, right? You can be buddies after you've
raised him to be a respectful young man, after you've raised
him to be a godly young man, then you can be buddies.
But he doesn't need a buddy right now.
He needs a parent. He needs a dad.
He needs somebody to tell him when he's wrong.
And we're not. We do our kids such a huge
disservice when when you know it.
It's because again, and I don't, I don't mean to keep harping on
Hollywood, but that's what Hollywood has done.
You know, this, this wonderful little story about how a father
and a son got along so well and they did this and they did that.
And you should get along well with your children.
But at the same time, your kids should know that you demand
respect just by the very fact that you're the father and
you're not going to get that respect if you're the buddy and
you're like, hey, what's up dude?
You know, I mean, fist bumping and all of those kind of things
like you're on the same, you know, softball team together.
You can do that with your buddies on the softball team.
Your kids need a father. They need a they need somebody
to be the dad and to tell them where they're wrong.
That word, father and fathers, is used over 1500 times in the
Bible. Do you think that God has an
importance that He's placed on that?
God instituted authority in the home, and He set it up for
parents, not children, to leave the home.
And he called upon parents, particularly the father where
one is present, to provide a leadership model that expects
respect. One of the strongest examples of
strong leadership in the Old Testament is Joshua.
He led the children of Israel into the promised land through a
series of of military conquests. But Joshua's leadership wasn't
just national leadership. He led in his own home as well.
And I'll tell you what happens many times the people who are
the greatest leaders of men in their field are the worst
leaders at home. And it cannot be that way if you
expect your children to grow up and live for the Lord, if you
expect your children to grow up and have respect.
Joshua chapter 24 and verse #15 And if it seem evil unto you to
serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve, whether
the gods which your father served that were on the other
side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land
do you dwell? But As for me and my house, we
will serve the Lord. Providing that leadership in the
home not only provides the direction that your children
need, but it also helps them develop a sense of respect for
authority. In fact, children who learn this
in the home are light years ahead of their peers, the ones
who are there around all the time when it comes to the
authority figures throughout their lives.
You learn respect in the home. You're going to have respect
everywhere else. You learn to respect your father
and your mother. You're going to have respect for
your pastor. You're going to have respect for
your teacher. You're going to have respect for
your boss, and you're going to treat them with respect because
it was demanded of you at home. So rare that somebody knows how
to respect their parents and then goes out and disrespects
everybody else because it starts in the home.
Look again back there in Ephesians chapter 6, I'll be
honest with you. Even before a child is old
enough to understand the meaning of respect, the meaning of
honor, the meaning of obedience, you're responsible to set that
tone, set that tenor, if you will, of respect in your home by
providing a leadership that insists on respect.
Your kids are learning from before they even know what
they're what they're doing. And I'll tell you this.
If you wait until your kids are 23456 years old to start
training them in this area or any other area, you are way
behind where they need to be. Here's what we did in our home.
And I'm not saying that my kids are perfect.
They're not. But by the time they were five,
6-7 years old, they obeyed and they didn't even know why.
But I'll tell you, it's exact goes back to this whole idea of,
well, if I spank him, then he's not going to like me.
And if he doesn't like me, then he's not going to want to sit on
my lap all the time when I want to cuddle with him and all of
those other things. And then I'm not going to have
that, you know, Instagram lifestyle that everybody wants
to see. And I'm not going to be the
model parent to everybody. And what ends up happening is
you're raising a little demon, and then by the time he's 678
years old, you're going to try to fix it.
It's going to be too late to fix.
But if you do the hard jobs, the hard part, when they're 2345
years old and you spank them when you say no and they don't
obey you, you know what a kid does when they're three years
old and you spank them 10 minutes later, they're crawling
up in your lap anyway, right? Because they want you to be
pleased with them. They want to do things.
They just have to know what those boundaries are.
And if you teach them the boundaries, they're happy within
those boundaries. And then they get to be 567
years old. You tell them to do something,
they do it, and they don't even know why they're doing it
because they don't remember what happened at 2-3 and four years
old, right? When's the, what's the earliest
memory you have? I think for me, I was 5.
I don't remember how many times I got spanked when I was 3, but
I knew that I better obey by the time I was 567 years old.
And that's because my parents started early with me and they,
they demanded that respect and they demanded that obedience
even from a little kid. And I needed it, right?
I mean, they went, they went out there with a 8 foot long, 2 by
4, beating me over the head with it.
But a spanking is what I needed and by the time I was old enough
to know what was going on, I obeyed my parents and I
respected my parents. Ephesians chapter 6, really it
gives it. There's 2 commands that are
addressed here to to children in the home.
Obedience refers to listening to instructions and heeding it.
It's conforming to what has been required.
Honor refers to valuing or revering somebody.
So you have two commands, obey and honor.
So our children are not just to do what we say, but they're also
to value that relationship, to give that respect.
And so I say that parents should expect respect.
You ought to expect it from your kids.
Well, he's just a kid. No, you expect those things from
your children. And that brings me to the second
point then #2 parents should teach respect.
Turn over to Proverbs chapter 4. Children don't naturally exhibit
respect. They have to be taught the same
way that they don't naturally tell the truth.
They have to be taught the same way.
They don't naturally obey. They have to be taught.
And essential to that process is a parent who cares too much
about their child to allow disobedience or disrespect.
Again, society has trained parents that that's just the way
the kids are. That's just what they're going
to do because they're kids and they're growing up and that's
the way they're going to be. And that's why they go to school
and punch the teacher in the face when the teacher doesn't do
what they want them to do. And the teacher says, put your
cell phone away and they won't. And the teacher has to fight
them for it. I mean, you see stuff like that
all the time. And I don't know how these
teachers do it because honestly, I couldn't.
I would be in jail probably
right now if I was a teacher in the public school because I
can't. I can't handle the disrespect
because I was trained to have respect.
Yeah. I don't know how Brother Paul
does it. How do you do it?
Yeah, pulled all his hair out. That's exactly what it is.
That's the only way you can deal with it.
But I'm sure you see it all the time.
That just the disrespect because it starts, it starts at home,
children. The Bible says in Proverbs
chapter 4 and verse #1 Here ye children, the instruction of a
father, and attend to no understanding.
For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the
sight of my mother. He taught me also.
And he said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words, keep my
commandments, and live. That is a father that is
teaching his child to obey, to honor, to respect.
One of the most loving things that you can do for your child
is to discipline them when they disobey.
Oh, I would never hit my kid. That's the that's the argument
against spanking, right? I would never hit my kid.
How can you? How can you ever think about
doing that? That's in the Bible and we have
not only that the different verses, we're going to look at
them in just a minute that we have in the Bible, but also with
the example of Jesus Christ God. What does God do to us as his
children when we disobey? He chastens us.
He chastises us, right. It's true that the words
correction and discipline call to mind undesirable extremes,
and maybe you grew up in a home where some of that was extreme,
the discipline, right? Parents who hear either word
tend to put up walls of resistance toward whichever
extreme they've experienced or seen in the the classic extremes
are anger and passivity. Somebody who who blows up, you
know, angry Alvin, that just that just, you know, blows up
every time his kids do some things that he doesn't like.
And many times that same guy doesn't think that he has a
problem with anger. He does, and everybody can see
it except him. And he's constantly punishing
his children for what turns out to just be childish behavior.
Now that that foolishness needs to be driven out of a child.
But sometimes kids are just going to be kids, right?
And if they're, you know, playing a little bit rough or
they're doing something, I mean, it doesn't always demand that
you, you know, whip your belt off.
I'm sure you've probably heard those.
And start whipping them and beating them with whatever you
can, you know, whatever you can reach, right?
Discipline ought to be done very orderly in the home, right?
You spank your kids in anger. You've already lost.
You just, you just go off and start start spanking them and
spanking them and spanking them because you're mad.
You've lost and you're going to lose your kids.
They know that you're spanking them in anger, right?
The other side of that coin is the passive father let his kids
burn the house down. As long as he doesn't have to
leave the couch, he's all right with it.
Do whatever you want to do. I don't care, right?
Burn the house down. Do whatever.
There's, there's two extremes, right?
He doesn't know where his children are, who their friends
are, and maybe he'll set boundaries for his kids, but his
kids know that he has no intention of enforcing those
boundaries, right? The truth is both of those
extremes and maybe some of the, the less extremes in the middle
are hurtful to children. Both of those things communicate
a lack of love. You, you get angry and lose your
temper on your kid. It's it's just illustrating and
demonstrating a lack of love. You let them do whatever they
want to do. That's demonstrating a lack of
love. Oh, and that's, that's why
parents are I just, I that's just what he decided to do.
Listen, if my kid was running around in Broad Street, I'm
going to do everything I can to keep him from doing that, right?
I'm going to spank him and say don't go in Broad Street
anymore. Well, that's just what they
wanted to do. Yeah.
And and you'll just be putting them in a coffin and burying
them six feet under the ground because that's what's going to
happen. You don't love your children if
you don't discipline your children.
The Bible says for whom the Lord loveth he chasing it.
And the same is true for for us is with our kids.
God not only calls parents to set boundaries, but to enforce
those boundaries. Turn over to Hebrews chapter 12.
If you give instruction to your child and he deliberately
disobeys it, you're not loving him to look the other way.
And by the way, this has happened with my kids before.
I tell them something to do. They're standing right next to
me and 5 minutes later it's not done.
And I say, how come you didn't do that?
Oh, I didn't hear you. I said, well, you're getting
spanked. Listen next time, right?
It's it's an easy excuse. I didn't hear you.
I didn't know, right? Guess what they do the next time
when you speak? They listen.
And it's not it's not authoritarian.
It's teaching them to mind their authority, teaching them exactly
what the Bible tells them to do. Obey your parents, honor your
parents. You're communicating a lack of
love that's going to breed a lack of respect in his heart.
Because Hebrews chapter 12 here tells us that even God's love,
which God's love is absolutely perfect, there is no better love
than the love that God has for his children.
Even God's love is sometimes shown through chastening
correction with pain. That's what chastening is.
When we're disobeying, we're going our own direction.
Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 6, For whom the Lord loveth, He
chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
That is a perfect love from a perfect father.
And he says, I love you and that's why I'm chastening you.
You've got to understand that you just cannot live that way
and get away with it. When you correct the child
lovingly, properly, biblically, your correction says I love you
too much to allow you to make those wrong choices.
Turn over to Proverbs chapter 13 because Scripture goes so far as
to say that if you don't correct your children, you don't love
them. And that's what I say.
There's two extremes. One that goes way overboard with
the correction, one that doesn't give the correction, and both of
those show a lack of love. Proverbs chapter 13 and verse
#24 These are the messages that the kids just absolutely love.
Proverbs chapter 13 and verse 24.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him
chasingeth him. The times that word betimes
means timely or within a short time or soon, right?
It speaks to a parent who corrects their child early in
his life when a correction can be less severe and have more
impact. Right.
If you're still beating your kid at 16 years old, you've missed
the opportunity to correct him. If you still, you know, blow up
in anger and go spank your sixteen 1718 year old kid,
you're doing far more harm than you're doing good.
That should have been done a long time ago.
And what do you do if you've missed the missed the
opportunity? Well, you pray for him and you
have those talks where you sit down and you go through some of
those things with them. But you know, you, you missed
out on a lot of opportunities if you don't start early with your
kids by loving your child enough to correct them when they're
disobedient, you're going to you're helping them develop a
sense of respect for authority that'll guide them throughout
their life. But on the other hand, if you
neglect to correct him when he's young, you're setting up, you're
setting them up to receive a harsher correction later from
authorities who won't have a parent's love for him, right.
You think about the kids who are 1516, seventeen years old
running the streets because they have no parents that are there
to correct them. You think the, the, the guy
doing a job in the juvenile detention center loves that kid
the way a parent should love a kid?
Absolutely not. He's doing a job.
You're there because you are, you're, you know, you messed up
and you're a hindrance to society and everything else.
They didn't love you the way that a parent loves you.
But he's so sweet. I can't spank him.
You're, he's a sweet little devil.
And that's what you're going to be raising.
You need to get on it early and spank them, correct them the way
the Bible says to do that. Hebrews chapter 12, turn back
over there because Hebrews chapter 12 relates the
correction or the chasing that we're to give to our children to
the correction that God gives us as his children points out that
that the parents typically correct only their own children.
So one of the proofs that you are a child of God is that
correction. You do wrong, God punishes you
right. Here's what He says in verse #7
We already read verse 6. But verse #7 if you endure
chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons.
For what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not This is
God is saying this OK? For whom the Lord loveth, He
chasteneth. He scourgeth every son whom he
receiveth. Well, what kind of father are
you if you don't chase in your children?
That's what he's asking. That's the question that God is
asking there in verse #7 if you endure chasing and God deal with
with you the same way that that that, that he deals with sons
the same way that a father deals with his son.
And what son is he whom the father chasing is not?
Are you really a son if the father doesn't chase in you?
That's what he's asking. Verse 8 But if you be without
chastisement, where of all our partakers then are you bastards
and not sons? That means you're illegitimate.
Are you even God's son if he doesn't chase you, chasing you?
That's what he's saying. And the whole, the whole, the
whole point that I'm making with this is it's the same for
fathers with their children. Not is he your son if you don't
spank him, but it's kind of that's the same question.
God, God is saying, what kind of son is he if you're not going to
chasten him and tell him where he's wrong and help him to fix
the things that need to be fixed?
That passage goes on to point out that correct in our children
teaches them respect for us, which is eventually transferred
to the respect for God. Verse #9 Furthermore, we have
had fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them
reverence. Shall we not much rather be in
subjection to the Father of spirits and live, Hey, we had
fathers that corrected us and taught us respect, and because
they corrected us and taught that to us, we respected them.
How much more than if we have respect for our fathers on this
earth, should we have for our Heavenly Father?
That respect that comes from the discipline that's given to a
father who will actually discipline his child in the
right way and with the right spirit, with the right attitude,
how much more that's transferred to our Heavenly Father?
That's a powerful passage. And when it comes to discipline,
that's perfect love. That's perfect love.
That's God's love to us. And that's how he treats us as
his sons and His daughters. Not correcting your children,
including, by the way, threatening to correct them and
not doing it, not correcting your children, actually causes
them to lose that respect for you and question your love.
My dad's just going to let me do this.
He knew how harmful this was, and he's just going to let me do
it, right? Would you let your kids drink
poison because that's what they want to do?
Well, it's their life. It's their decision.
That's what they want to do. It's going to be harmful for
them, but they'll find out at some point that it's harmful for
them. That's not parenting and that's
not love. But, you know, the same thing is
true when it comes to threatening.
And this is what we see all the time.
I'm, you know, you're in a grocery store.
Get back over here. Get back over here.
Come here. I said come here 122 and a half.
The kids like, alright, is he going to go to 2 3/4?
How long do I have to get back over there and obey?
Right? That's not demanding obedience.
And a kid learns to play your little game and guess what, if
you don't start counting, he's not going to obey.
Why would he, right? You're not demanding obedience.
You're giving him. It's it's a game to that kid,
right? And you've taught them how to
play it. That's not correction and
ultimately that's not love. When your children are directly
disobedient, you have to correct them so that they understand
that there's freedom in submitting to authority.
We like to think of our children as angels with occasional
lapses. That's not the case.
Proverbs 22 and verse 15, Proverbs 22 and verse 15.
We're coming to a close here for tonight.
This does not describe children. Foolishness is bound in the
heart of a child. But the rod of correction shall
drive it far from him. What's going to drive it from
him? The rod of correction, right?
It has to be applied in the right way and we go into
Ephesians chapter 6. Ye fathers, provoke not your
children to wrath. Bring them up in the nurture and
the admonition of the Lord. There's a right way to do it and
there's a wrong way to do it. But if you're doing it in the
right way, see, our children, just like us, are born with a
sin nature, a bent toward doing wrong.
The foolishness that this verse says is bound in the heart of a
child. It's it's not just childish
behavior, spilling a glass of milk, right?
Yeah. Should they be more careful?
Yes, they should be more careful.
But they spanking because they spilled milk.
Well, maybe depends on what led to it.
If you told them to sit down and they didn't sit down and they
spilled the milk, well, that's not just childish behavior,
that's disobedience. But if they were reaching for
something across the table and knocked their milk over, it's a
childish thing. It's an accident, right?
People blow up and RIP the kid out of the chair and throw him
in the bedroom and spank him until he can't stand up for
spilling milk, right? That's, that's a that's, that's
anger. That's anger and that's not
love. That's not love.
The rod of correction, though, the Bible says can refer to it
can refer to any kind of discipline, words of correction,
corporal punishment, loss of privileges, different things,
but there's probably no more debated area of parenting than
discipline, right? Especially if that includes a
discussion on corporal punishment.
Oh, you know, this was this is what happened back in the 70s
at, in, in Indiana at the church that I grew up at, a mother was
spanking her child not even not even, you know, out of line with
the way that she spanked her child.
He called welfare and I came and took him and long court battle
and turns out that Hillary Clinton was the one that was
behind all of it in the early days.
And they won the court case. Because a parent has a right,
according to the Bible, to spank their children.
And you should spank your children.
You start talking about that and oh, they don't like it.
They don't like it. But it's important to understand
that often the strong feelings on that issue are targeted at
the extremes and the abuses. And they should be right.
There's a There's a difference between discipline and child
abuse. Right, and, and people who lose
their temper who, who, who are not in control of the situation
crossed into that area of child abuse.
That's what it is, right? But discipline done God's way is
not child abuse at all. It shows your child that you
love him, and it's going to teach your child respect.
And the sooner you start farther along, you're going to be with
your kids when they turn 4567 years old, and they're going to
have that respect. They're going to obey.
They're going to do the things that you tell them to do.
And many times they're not even going to know why they do it.
But you did it God's way, and that's what God tells us to do.
But when a child directly disobeys and you calmly
administer swats, whatever you want to call them, get their
attention, reach their heart in a way that a timeout is never
going to do right? God didn't say foolishness is
abound in the heart of a child, but a timeout will drive it far
from him. All right, I didn't say that
because that's that's not God's way.
There's something wholesome for a child to having a disobedience
dealt with quickly and then move on, right?
You stay mad at your kid because they disobeyed all night.
That does God do that with you after he corrects it and you get
it right? No, you just, you take it and
you move on. Parents should become abusive.
Do it with their words. They do it with, you know,
exorbitant whatever timeouts, groundings, other forms of
correction. You can get very abusive very
easily if you're not in control of the situation.
But I'll tell you, I'll tell you how parents usually lose control
because they're not consistent. They're not consistent.
If you tell your kid do this and they don't do it, they should be
punished, not do this. I told you to do this, I told
you to do this. If you don't do this, you're
going to get in trouble. And then they blow up because
the kids still didn't do it. Because you failed.
It's not the kids fault. It's your fault that the kid
didn't obey because they should have gotten told one time and if
they didn't obey, they should have been punished for it.
There's not much room for losing your temper when you tell the
kid once and they don't do it and you just calmly take them
into the bedroom, give them spankings, and then bring them
back out, right? It's, it's not you're in control
because you're consistent. But whatever form that
correction takes you, you as a parent have to establish respect
in the home, and you have to rely on the Holy Spirit's
guidance as you do that because every child is different.
You need God's wisdom. You need the wisdom of God to
help you with those things and applied discipline that'll reach
that child's heart. Our children need to learn
respect. Our children need to learn that
as parents, we are the ones in control in the home.
We are the ones that they obey in the home, right?
We need to be the ones taking the responsibility to teach it
to them. We'll stop with that tonight.
I think it's important that that we established this, that not
only should we expect respect, but you have to teach that
respect to them. And if you don't teach it to
them, who's going to who's going to Society is not going to do
it. The movies are not going to do
it. Most of your rock music out
there is all about rebellion against society or rap music is
all about, you know, rebellion against society, all of those
things. And if you if you wait and you
allow society to do it, it's too late and you missed out.
And your kids are going to be one of those ones that grows up
without respect and they're going to look back and they're
going to say, did my parents even love me?
Did my parents even love me? Oh no, I love them so much that
I just couldn't bring myself to No, that's not what the Bible
says. When the Lord loveth thee
chasteneth. And that's what a, that's what a
parent does for their children as well.
We'll continue with this next week, but let's pray.
Father, again, we thank you so much for your goodness to us.
We thank you for the opportunity we have to discuss these things
from your Word. God, may you help us to be
parents who are #1 completely in control of ourselves, completely
in line with the Word of God. And God, may you help us to be
the disciplinarians and the authoritarians that you expect
us to be in the home that we can raise young people who are
raised with respect not only for authority, but for your
authority, and that that would lead to each one of them finding
your will for their lives. God, may you help us.
May we have your wisdom, may we have your guidance as we do that
well. Thank you again for all that you
do for us. In Jesus name, Amen.