1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,400 We're up here than it is down there. 2 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,600 And so, rather than sit here and sweat to death, I figured, I was 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,500 take my suit coat off. If you're right that, it's even 4 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:10,100 if you're not. But if he's in chapter 6 5 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:15,500 tonight, I'm going to be very, very practical with a try to. 6 00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:18,100 I try to give you some lessons on the family that will help. 7 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,700 We got a lot of young families here and that's tremendous. 8 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:24,600 That's that is a blessing. It really is a blessing to have 9 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,500 that and but there's also a responsibility then to make sure 10 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:32,200 that we are teaching on. The family and giving you some 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,800 things, that'll be a help. And a lot of times we focus on 12 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,400 spiritual side of things and this is to a certain extent, but 13 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:44,200 very practical on the other side of the other side of it, we have 14 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:49,100 been in Shenandoah mountains. The last couple days we left 15 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:53,000 Monday morning and so decided to take just to step back from. 16 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,500 It takes a lot of a lot of studying to read through and 17 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,800 study through some of these different religions and things 18 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,400 and I like to have an overview of the Our thing before I start 19 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,400 and I didn't get a chance to do that with being gone for these 20 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,400 couple days. So by the time I got into 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,400 studying a bunch of this stuff out ended up with just about as 22 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,500 much time into it anyway but if he's in chapter 6, just as a 23 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:17,000 starting point and I'm not going to give you a lot of versus 24 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,900 tonight. Fact not very many at all but 25 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:21,400 this one will be helpful for you. 26 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,000 I hope Ephesians chapter 6 and verse number 4. 27 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,900 Of course you know, one verse to verse 3 but verse 4 says and ye 28 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:29,900 father's provoke, not your children. 29 00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:33,800 Children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and the 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,700 admonition of the Lord. And that's kind of the focus of 31 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,400 this. Bring them up in the nurture and 32 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,800 the admonition of the Lord. And again, it's two fathers, 33 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,900 it's for fathers and mothers. It's for families. 34 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:49,100 This is, this is one of those things I remember growing up 35 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:53,100 when my when my pastor would get up there and preach on 36 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:55,500 discipline, you know, spanking your kids and all itself. 37 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,900 The parents were like, this is something we need the kids were 38 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,100 like, no, we're going to go home. 39 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,900 We're going to get spanked. Everything, right? 40 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,500 And this may be one of those things that's not disciplined, 41 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,500 but one of the biggest discussions, I think in families 42 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,800 with up-and-coming teenagers is cell phones and, you know, kids 43 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,800 want them parents. Don't think it's a good idea to 44 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,400 give them to him and even though there may not be a lot of back 45 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,700 and forth because the kids know better. 46 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,200 They're still the expectation that at some point cell phones 47 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,400 going to be coming their way and I've said, for a long time that 48 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,100 my kids are not going to have phones that give them access to 49 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,800 much of anything. And I said that, when they were 50 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,900 Little, and I still say that now, and I supposed to a certain 51 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:36,900 extent, there's a little bit of pressure to let them have a 52 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,900 phone and whatever else. But I'm not, I'm sure it's not 53 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,500 exactly what they want to hear, but they already know it's not 54 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:45,400 coming their way anytime soon and so it's not really 55 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,500 surprising them, but I want to give you some reasons tonight 56 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,700 that you should seriously consider in relation to delaying 57 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:54,500 giving your children a smartphone. 58 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,900 Yeah, I'm not a mean, a phone is one thing, I'm talking 59 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,800 specifically tonight smartphones and so on. 60 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,200 Into it. I think this will be helpful. 61 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,800 You number one, when they get a phone, Everything Changes. 62 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,000 I've heard many stories of parents who have regrets and 63 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:14,600 giving their kids a phone too early or too soon because of how 64 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,900 the relationship changes and their parental influence really 65 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,300 Wayne's after the kid gets a cell phone. 66 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,700 And again this is might want to just take, I got six or seven 67 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,800 different reasons tonight that maybe you can write these down 68 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,900 and these are is just a guideline just something to help 69 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:31,000 you tonight. As you consider because you're 70 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,800 going to come across this discussion at some point or 71 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,200 other with your children, over the course of the time that 72 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,000 they're teenagers or before that or beyond that. 73 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,700 Honestly, I'm surprised at how many parents are giving their 74 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:48,200 kids, you know, iPhones at eight, you know, seven eight, 75 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,800 nine years old, and these kids are walking around with phones 76 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,900 in their hands and they're on a Non-Stop. 77 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,500 And I mean, it used to be that it was a teenage thing. 78 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,500 Now it's getting earlier and earlier and earlier but I think 79 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,800 these things will be For you too, as we consider these 80 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,100 tonight. But the first one is that 81 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:06,900 everything changes when they get a phone, don't take this the 82 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:09,100 wrong way. But parents, whose influence is 83 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,500 not strong enough to tell their children? 84 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,400 No, they're not going to get a cell phone. 85 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,300 Often is not strong enough to control that phone. 86 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:21,500 Once the kids actually get it and they're not strong enough to 87 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,500 keep whatever influence they do. Have once the kid gets a phone, 88 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,600 it doesn't take much looking around to see that kids all over 89 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,100 the place are walking around with phones in there and we were 90 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,000 we were sitting up there. And you're in the mountains, you 91 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,700 can't even get service anyway, right? 92 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,400 These guys are laughing because they probably know what I'm 93 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,400 going to say. But we were sitting at the 94 00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:40,000 little Wayside restaurant and and this family gets out of the 95 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,100 car, little kid, you know, I don't know. 96 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,600 Five, six, seven years old, jumps out, he runs in front of 97 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,900 everybody, runs into the store, you know, and then the mom gets 98 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,700 out in the dead gets out. And this this kid that looked 99 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,600 exactly like the little one, but just like a bigger version of it 100 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,900 comes walking past doing this on his phone, the whole way into 101 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,700 the store, didn't even know what he was going. 102 00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,900 If he didn't have somebody that he Following close behind 103 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:04,400 otherwise, you know, but you're in the mountains, you can't even 104 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,600 get service in here. Your, your life is focusing 105 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,500 around the cell phone. So, given your kids an outlet to 106 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,600 go, complain, about anything and everything. 107 00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:18,100 You do certainly is not really giving you the influence, over 108 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,900 them that you want and need to have or given you an opportunity 109 00:05:20,907 --> 00:05:23,600 to keep impacting them for as long as you should while they're 110 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,200 in your home. But you have to remember in the 111 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,700 whole discussion that you are the parent, right? 112 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,900 And again, we go back. Back to our verse in Ephesians 113 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:34,200 chapter 6, father's provoke, not your children to wrath but bring 114 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,300 them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord, it's 115 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,900 your responsibility. What happens in your home? 116 00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:42,000 And you are the parent. It doesn't matter how much your 117 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,400 kid whines about wanting a phone. 118 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,800 Doesn't matter how much they whine about whatever else it is 119 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,000 that they want. You're the parent and honestly, 120 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,200 my kids know, the more they want about something, the less the 121 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,100 chances are that they're going to get it. 122 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:59,700 It's just I mean what you know what the dangers are you know? 123 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:05,900 What? The drawbacks are to having the 124 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,700 cell phones and everything else and it's your responsibility / 125 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,500 to protect them from those dangerous, no matter how much 126 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:14,300 they whine and complain about it know, some kids who get a job 127 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,000 early will offer to pay for their own phone because they 128 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,000 know they can Jackson's already. Brought that up with me. 129 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,600 Well, Dad, when I'm old enough, can I, if I can get my, if I can 130 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:26,600 pay for it, can I have it? No, because it's not about 131 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,100 paying for it. It's not that. 132 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,500 I'm so poor that I can't afford to buy a phone for them. 133 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,600 There's a lot of other dangers and we're going to talk about 134 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,700 those. tonight, but I'm still the parent. 135 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,700 They're still the child, it's still my responsibility as a 136 00:06:40,707 --> 00:06:44,600 dad, whether they're paying for the destruction or not to make 137 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,200 sure that I am bringing them up in the nurture and the 138 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,200 admonition of the Lord, I had several jobs. 139 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,600 You know, when I was in high school I stayed very busy 140 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,900 working for several different people and believe it or not, I 141 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,300 survive without a cellphone. Now, that was back in the day 142 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,800 when hardly anybody had them. Actually my parents did remember 143 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,400 the next cell phones where actually you could bleep, you 144 00:07:03,407 --> 00:07:05,800 know, and you could actually use them like walkie-talkies, that 145 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,300 was the coolest thing that ever came. 146 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,600 Around and I thought, you know, my parents were going to get me 147 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,100 one of these things and I can use it because now I'm going 148 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,100 here and there and they didn't, let me have a phone and you know 149 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:18,300 what I survived I made it. And it happened that most of the 150 00:07:18,308 --> 00:07:21,100 time, they would call my parents and say, hey can he come over? 151 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,000 We need this work done and I wish they'd get it set up and I 152 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,400 go over there and do the work. And, you know, and I think every 153 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,500 parent can say that for the most part, we didn't always have a 154 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:33,400 phone and we live, you know, and it used to be that parents would 155 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:37,200 say, you know, when they get a car, everything changes and it 156 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:40,700 Does. But now we're taking a step back 157 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:45,100 and we're saying when they get a phone, everything changes and 158 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:49,100 most of it happens in the influence that the parents have 159 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,700 over the children, they lose that influence when the kid gets 160 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:55,400 a phone, because now they have somebody else to be their 161 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,800 parent. This little device in their hand 162 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,900 becomes the parent instead of mom or dad. 163 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:04,000 So I think, you know, just know that on the day that you allow 164 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000 your child to get a phone, everything's going to change. 165 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,200 Not my kid. Yes. 166 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:11,100 Your kid, Everything Changes on the day, they get a cell phone 167 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:15,400 number to these. This another reason why at least 168 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,100 you should do lay it. All right, phones, do not lend 169 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:22,700 themselves to spiritual growth. And, again, the cell phone 170 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,800 itself is not inherently bad. I'm specifically talking tonight 171 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,700 about smartphones in the everything that comes along with 172 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,600 it because, you know, okay. If you could get a flip phone 173 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,500 that had like, remember remember back in the day when you wanted 174 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:41,299 to send a text And you wanted to say, stop you had to say s St. 175 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,300 And then you had to whatever the oh was, you know, you had to get 176 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,900 to the, oh, I mean, it was very, very slow, right? 177 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,800 And if that's all you had then, okay? 178 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,500 Probably, you're okay with that, all right? 179 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,200 But phones, don't have just that capability anymore. 180 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,200 They come with a whole lot of other things and of course, the 181 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,100 kid who's trying to convince his Christian parents. 182 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,000 Let him get a phone will say that they're looking forward to 183 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,400 all the spiritual conversations, they're going to have with their 184 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,900 friends and you know how much they're going to enjoy sharing 185 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,400 Bible. He's with each other and all 186 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,900 this stuff when they finally all get phones together, right? 187 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,600 Doesn't usually work that way. Every adult who has a phone 188 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,400 knows that the obvious is more likely going to be true. 189 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:23,100 There's so much Temptation available at the fingertips of 190 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:26,000 anybody that has a cell phone. And by the way, it's a great 191 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,800 idea as a parent, even for you to have safeguards on your 192 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,300 phone, right? My wife has access to any 193 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,400 account that I have. She has my password to 194 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,900 everything. I'm not sure. 195 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,800 I don't want to have something that I'm trying to hide from my 196 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,500 wife, right? But when you put that into the 197 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,000 hands of a teenager, even if you take precautions and by the way, 198 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,700 if you do have a decide to give them a phone, they should not 199 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,400 have a phone without a lot of precautions on it, but they're 200 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,200 always around just about everything and brother. 201 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,700 Josh probably knows a whole lot more about that than I do but 202 00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,500 there's a lot of people who know how to find ways around any 203 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:07,200 safety net that's there and they do, they do it. 204 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,900 In more technical or technological, somebody is the 205 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,600 better. They are at it, but there are 206 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:18,000 always ways around just about everything and that phone is not 207 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,900 lending itself to spiritual growth but by giving them a 208 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:24,100 phone essentially, you're exposing them to all the 209 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:31,000 worldliness and the trends of tick-tock and Instagram and I 210 00:10:31,008 --> 00:10:33,300 don't even know all the other social media things out there, 211 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,800 but but I know enough about them to know that. 212 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,200 That is where everybody goes to find out what's popular. 213 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,800 That's where everybody goes to find out, what's in? 214 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,800 That's where everybody goes to try to, See what they have to 215 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,500 do. To be like, essentially, is what 216 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,600 it comes down to. And I've witnessed a lot of 217 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,600 young people over the years, with phones in the trends, 218 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,700 certainly does not lend itself to the, you know, to the kids 219 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,300 who got phones becoming more spiritual. 220 00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,000 And I'm not, I'm certainly not saying that. 221 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,300 There's anything inherently evil about a cell phone but rarely 222 00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,700 have, I seen it helped their spirituality number three. 223 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:10,200 Phones amongst teenagers often lead to bullying and regret. 224 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,700 And again this is this is a very practical aspect of it 225 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:17,500 spirituality set aside but I'm certainly not an expert on cyber 226 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,300 crime or anything like that, but I follow what goes on. 227 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:25,100 And I know that it's a huge problem and I'm interested in 228 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,500 the crime world I suppose. That's one of the reasons why I 229 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,900 enjoy doing the police stuff and I know Kevin's probably in the 230 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,200 same boat with me on that I stay up with it. 231 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:36,400 I like podcast about that kind of stuff, just to just to keep 232 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:40,900 My fingers in that at least a little bit and understand what 233 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:44,300 goes on in that world and so on. But kids constantly getting 234 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:48,400 bullied on group, text and Snapchat, Snapchat and Instagram 235 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,700 and lots of other ways and honestly, if those platforms 236 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,200 were not there than there, probably bullying on the 237 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,200 playground, like they're always used to be, right? 238 00:11:55,200 --> 00:12:00,500 But the difference is that's done in secret and bullying on 239 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,800 the playground. Hey, you can hear it, you can 240 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,000 see it. An adult can intervene if they 241 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,800 notice that something's going on, but what's happening now is 242 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:10,300 these kids are living in their own world. 243 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,800 And not only does that open them up to all these, you know, 244 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,300 pedophiles and everything else. But on top of that, what happens 245 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:22,500 is they end up in their own little private world where 246 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,300 nobody else knows what's going on. 247 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,400 And I know Kevin's probably been on many of them. 248 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,400 I've been on a good handful of them ourselves were teenagers 249 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,700 committed suicide because they were being bullied on one of 250 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:38,100 these group. Social media sites that nobody 251 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:41,000 else knew about and turns out. Once they started going back in 252 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,400 there and trying to figure out why did this kid commit suicide? 253 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,400 Because somebody made fun of them, somebody was picking on 254 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,600 him, this happened that happened and they didn't feel like they 255 00:12:47,608 --> 00:12:49,900 could tell anybody about it because it was in this little 256 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,200 bubble that's hidden from the rest of the world. 257 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,400 So even if they don't kill themselves, a lot of them are 258 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,000 left with scars that last for many many years and and and some 259 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,900 that they never get over and so phones amongst teenagers often 260 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:02,200 lead to that bullying and regret. 261 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,900 Number four, Young people are particularly vulnerable to 262 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:10,200 addiction and this is a serious issue that for some reason a lot 263 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,400 of parents overlooked and and this this is bigger than cell 264 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,600 phones. This this this gets into video 265 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:25,500 games computer games, you know, Playing games on the iPad or 266 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:29,700 whatever else, but obviously addictions can develop at any 267 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,200 stage in a person's life, but there's a lot of evidence out 268 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,500 there. Now, in a lot of studies that 269 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,500 have been done to suggest that that teenagers are very much 270 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:40,700 more vulnerable to addiction, and there's been a lot of 271 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,700 studies one that I read in particular, that was actually 272 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,900 very good that explained. Why kids end up getting addicted 273 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,400 because most kids believe it or not, most kids that are good at 274 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,300 that, it get addicted to smoking or drinking. 275 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:57,000 Bugs or drinking or pornography, or any of the things that they 276 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,600 end up addicted to as a lifetime addiction start between the ages 277 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:06,800 of 12 and 14 and some much earlier than that 12 and 14. 278 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,800 And in this one study that I was reading in particular, it went 279 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,800 into explaining how their prefrontal cortex and all this 280 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,500 stuff is being formed and at that age, they don't have the 281 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,800 ability to rationalize their decisions and so they just do 282 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,600 things on a whim and obviously a lot of these things, Things are 283 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,700 designed to be addictive, right? Nicotine itself is addictive. 284 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,200 Alcohol is addictive. Drugs are addictive, this Social 285 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,100 Media stuff is addictive. And so it's becoming very 286 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:39,300 increasingly clear that a lot of the algorithms that are built 287 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:44,300 into these social media sites are designed to draw, not just 288 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,600 people, but especially kids into them. 289 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,900 No matter what viewpoints we have for as long as possible. 290 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:54,500 And and those tools are developed Up to be addictive. 291 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,500 You wonder why you start scrolling on Facebook and you 292 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,200 can't get off, they design it that way. 293 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,500 It's an algorithm that's designed to keep you there. 294 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,300 As long as you can. The more you scroll, the more 295 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,600 they get revenue from the ads that you see and click on and 296 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,900 everything else. Of course they're going to do it 297 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:16,500 that way and kids in that teenage in those teenage years 298 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:20,100 are very much more susceptible to addiction. 299 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:23,200 You give them a phone when they're 12 13 14, 15. 300 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,400 Years old and they developed that addiction. 301 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,800 At that time, it's an addiction. That probably, unless there's 302 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,300 some kind of outside intervention, they're never 303 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:34,100 going to break and they're going to be walking around at 30 years 304 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,500 old still addicted to that phone and not being able to get off of 305 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,700 it because that's exactly how they're designed in these social 306 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,700 media apps and everything else. One researcher that was talking 307 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:46,900 about this whole area several years ago, compared giving us a 308 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:51,300 cell phone to a kid to giving him access to the alcohol 309 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:55,100 cabinet. That's how addictive social 310 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:58,400 media and phones and all of that stuff is number five and this 311 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:02,000 kind of goes right along with that, but social media use is 312 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,300 frying. Kids brains. 313 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:08,900 Remember back in the day 90s, maybe even the early 2000s, used 314 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,300 to be that the biggest war in favor of teenagers was the War 315 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,300 on Drugs, right? Nancy Reagan. 316 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:17,200 This is back in the 80s, going way back but it stayed around 317 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,100 for a while. Remember the Dare program dare 318 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,000 to keep kids off drugs and everything else? 319 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,100 That was the big push. Because kids were getting 320 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,900 addicted to drugs and they were frying their brains on drugs and 321 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,800 everything else. There's a lot of years of 322 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,700 research showing what drug, use does to the brain, and they had 323 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,700 a, another had an ad campaign. I think they probably still do 324 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,500 to a certain extent, this is your brain. 325 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,500 This is your brain on drugs and it just shows you like, you 326 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,500 know, looks like a scrambled egg essentially. 327 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,100 And so I mean that's based on all the years of research of 328 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:48,000 what drugs does to a person in their brain and everything else. 329 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,000 There's only a few years of research on the implications of 330 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,700 social media on the brain. Because social media has not 331 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:56,300 been around for all that long, especially when it comes to, you 332 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,400 know, kids using it and especially the developing brains 333 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,700 of teenagers. But the early research actually 334 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:06,200 is very troubling in what this social media lifestyle and 335 00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:10,400 social media world is doing two teenagers essentially. 336 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,099 But the research is showing that teenagers are being trained to 337 00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:18,800 read in short chunks, not being able to grasp any kind of 338 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,500 meaningful information. They can't, they can't engage in 339 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,700 Long. Emotional reading, at all. 340 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,800 When's the last time you walked out in public and saw a kids 341 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,300 sitting somewhere reading the book. 342 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,600 Nice to carry a book with me everywhere when I was when I was 343 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:36,200 growing up, I mean, I love to read write and used to see kids 344 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,800 sitting all these and see kids at the library reading books and 345 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,700 all this, you don't see any of that anymore because they can't 346 00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:44,200 even comprehend that. Because everything they have is 347 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,000 a short, little blurb of, you know, 160 characters, or 348 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,000 whatever it is that it allows you to do on these social media 349 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,600 sites. They don't read books anymore, 350 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,700 they don't, they don't, they don't develop social skills. 351 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,900 Everything is done through a text message, right? 352 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,400 I don't know how to talk then. How to interact with anybody 353 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,400 because of that they're losing their ability to rationalize and 354 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,800 what's happening is that is in turn making them less happy and 355 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,100 more anxious than any previous generation. 356 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,800 And all of these things are things that have been researched 357 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,200 out and studied out. And then we wonder why they 358 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,800 can't sit in church and pay attention for 30 minutes during 359 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,900 the service, right? We wonder why, you know, in 360 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,100 order for there to be some kind of Youth Activity, it has to be 361 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:28,200 fun, exciting and exploding with all kinds of everything because 362 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,100 they can't pay. Tension long enough. 363 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,700 And so, they learn nothing in a youth meeting. 364 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:37,000 They learned nothing in, you know, they can't sit in church 365 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,300 and so they send all the teenagers out of the auditorium 366 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,900 to go have fun with the youth. Pastor, who just got through the 367 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:44,100 same thing, himself. Right. 368 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,900 Who still can't keep himself off of his phone either because he 369 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,300 grew up in that same lifestyle and he's addicted to it to, 370 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,300 right? And then we wonder why our 371 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,600 churches are falling apart and why everything has to be a big 372 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,000 party scene to keep people coming. 373 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:59,400 And I'm kind of being facetious a little bit but, but really, 374 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,200 I'm not because this is exactly what's happening in our 375 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,300 churches. There is one of the last kids 376 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:11,800 can't sit down and read through a commentary to understand the 377 00:19:11,808 --> 00:19:14,500 Bible because they've never had to do that before because there 378 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,400 are they've got this phone that gives them two sentences and 379 00:19:17,408 --> 00:19:20,200 then they can move on and read another two sentences about 380 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,700 something else. And read another two sentences 381 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,800 about something else and look at this picture from that 382 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,900 happening. And this, you know, and They're 383 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:29,500 being trained to do. And social media is destroying 384 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,900 their cognitive abilities. And we wonder why we have the 385 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:37,200 dumbing down of America. Social media is doing it and 386 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,800 we're putting the tools in their hands to make that happen. 387 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,600 You know. Kids have to be constantly 388 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,300 entertained or they don't want to do it. 389 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,000 Kids have to be constantly, you know, charged up. 390 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000 Or it's not as exciting as sitting over there in the 391 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,800 corner, scrolling through some social media post, right? 392 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,200 There's a lady by the name of Jean twinge wrote a book called 393 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,400 ijen. And she says this, in the midst 394 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,300 of the pandemic, doctors are reporting a rise in Tourette 395 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,100 like symptoms that they believe me. 396 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,100 Be caused by too much social media, use specifically too much 397 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:16,000 time on Tick-Tock Tourette's. I mean, You wonder why so many 398 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,600 kids today have? So many neurological issues 399 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,000 right there, wasn't around 30 years ago, right? 400 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,600 ADD and ADHD in this D and that be and all that, right? 401 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,900 I mean, why is that? I think it has a lot to do with 402 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,900 this kind of stuff, and unfortunately, I think that a 403 00:20:34,908 --> 00:20:37,000 lot of parents, see a phone is a type of babysitter. 404 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,900 So they don't be bothered to have a conversation with their 405 00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:42,000 teenagers and essentially what they're doing, is stunting that 406 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,100 parent-child bonding time over. That'll actually matter in life. 407 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,400 They're trading what? Little time they have with their 408 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,300 child for a few minutes of Peace so they don't have to have this 409 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,400 conversation so they don't have to be bothered with their kids 410 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,800 because they got all this busy stuff going on in their life and 411 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,600 essentially what they're trading at for is you know, no 412 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,900 meaningful conversations with their kids unless they can pull 413 00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,100 them away long enough to have one. 414 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,500 And once you give them that phone, everything changes and 415 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:09,800 you're not going to get it back. Number 6, this kind of goes 416 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,300 right along with what we've just been talking about. 417 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,200 But the development years are critical. 418 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,900 The teenage years, especially our critical years for teenagers 419 00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:25,800 morally psychologically cognitively and spiritually. 420 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,800 They are as teenagers. They are developing what they 421 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,800 are going to be as an adult. And that's when they learn a 422 00:21:33,808 --> 00:21:36,300 sense of who they are, they learn how to learn. 423 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:39,300 They learn how to develop that, moral compass, they learn how to 424 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:42,400 develop their spirituality and to do so many more things. 425 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:45,600 And I'll be honest with you, most of the decisions that I 426 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:51,600 made. That helped me to become what I 427 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,200 am. Now I made, when I was a 428 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,200 teenager, I made it at Youth Camp. 429 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,200 I made it in, you know, teen conferences, I made it at those 430 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,900 times when I was still developing into who I was 431 00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:07,500 becoming, and what's happening now is the same exact thing. 432 00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:12,400 You have these youth conferences and everybody's on their phones. 433 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,200 And they're not even paying attention and they're not 434 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,800 developing spiritually. And if by chance, God gets ahold 435 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,200 of their heart in their 20s. Then we're salvaging a couple 436 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,500 here and there rather than an entire generation. 437 00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:29,200 We're losing a generation because of these cell phones and 438 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,200 there's so much research out there and how young people 439 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,900 develop and and yet they're so little known in terms of how 440 00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:39,500 social media is impacting that development and all the initial 441 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:41,500 indications are that, it's not helping in the least. 442 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:44,600 And that, in fact, it's greatly harming, our children, as 443 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,000 they're growing up, they essentially what it comes down 444 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,500 to As a society is that we're in the middle of a giant 445 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,900 experiment. And I, for one, don't 446 00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:56,000 particularly care to have my kids be Lab Rats and this giant 447 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,900 experiment of social media and how it affects our kids and 448 00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:01,600 their brains, right? I want them to grow up learning 449 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,300 how to learn. I want them to grow up learning 450 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:08,200 how to, to be spiritual young people apart from a phone. 451 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:11,300 Your identity is not in a cell phone, your identity. 452 00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:14,300 If you're saved is in Jesus Christ, you don't need all of 453 00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:19,200 that stuff, and not just that, but It's from a purely physical 454 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,000 standpoint, harming our children here's another thing. 455 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,600 Number 7 only got this is the last one. 456 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,900 I'm gonna give you a couple of a couple of things as we close 457 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:30,800 kids are absorbed in anger and polarization at a time when they 458 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,300 should be enjoying life. Some days. 459 00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:36,800 I wish I could go back to the Carefree days of being a kid. 460 00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:39,300 I'm glad I'm an adult. I don't want to be a kid 461 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:43,300 forever, but sometimes it's it would be nice to just go back to 462 00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:46,400 the days when you had no responsibility wouldn't go back 463 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,900 to the time when you could go out and play cops and robbers if 464 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,200 you wanted to or Cowboys and Indians and you could play as 465 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,200 long as you wanted and nobody cared right. 466 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,200 There was no other responsibilities that you had 467 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,700 other than making sure you ate right other than making sure 468 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:01,300 your room was clean when you got to bed you know, when you when 469 00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:05,700 you got up in the morning or whatever else There was easy. 470 00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:09,100 There was no real responsibility and what's happening now and I 471 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,600 mentioned these algorithms already, but these these 472 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,000 algorithms and social media are designed to keep you online. 473 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:20,800 And so, Have you ever been angry at a post that you read on 474 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,500 Facebook or one of these other sites? 475 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:26,100 I'm sure you have, right? Have you ever you ever been 476 00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:29,100 polarized by some news Outlet or news story? 477 00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:32,400 I'm sure you have and essentially what happens is the 478 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,700 same thing as happened with kids and it's just pulling them 479 00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:36,700 deeper and deeper into a Viewpoint. 480 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,700 That's taught them to hate everybody else who doesn't hold 481 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:41,900 that same Viewpoint. Now completely different from 482 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:45,000 saying that we ought to hate sin and everything else. 483 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,300 I'm not saying that well you know we should You know, accept 484 00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:50,700 this or that because you know, it's a different Viewpoint. 485 00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:53,400 I'm not saying that, but some people don't even realize that 486 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,500 the information they're being fed through their social media 487 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:59,800 posts is tailored to, keep them online and information that 488 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,100 other people are not seeing because the algorithms are all 489 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:04,900 given those people completely different set of information. 490 00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,200 And so now you have two people who are completely Polar 491 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,000 Opposites against each other and anger and frustration and that 492 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,300 can just be pulled to the surface because anger and 493 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,200 frustration, keep people on those platforms. 494 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:18,700 So they're keeping them mad. That they're keeping them angry 495 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:22,100 so that they'll stay on those platforms and our kids are being 496 00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:25,000 sucked into that. And as you're being sucked in 497 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,700 now they're growing up as angry people instead of getting 498 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:30,500 outside and playing like they should be their kids, right? 499 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,400 They're going to grow up and they're going to have 500 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,500 responsibilities and they're going to be adults and they're 501 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,100 going to have families and they're going to be dealing with 502 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,400 all that stuff for the rest of their lives. 503 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,500 Let them be kids as long as they can be kids, right? 504 00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:45,500 As much as it as much as that is unhealthy for us how much you 505 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,900 know, how much more unhealthy is it? 506 00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:49,900 For kids, they don't need to grow up yet, they're going to 507 00:25:49,908 --> 00:25:51,700 spend the rest of their lives as grown-ups. 508 00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:55,300 Let them let them keeping them from that phone. 509 00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:58,500 Just let some hold onto that innocence and that childhood a 510 00:25:58,508 --> 00:26:01,300 little bit longer. And I'm glad my parents kept us 511 00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:04,900 in a bubble and kept us away from a lot of that stuff and I'm 512 00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:07,700 glad for that. I was able to be a kid and I had 513 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:10,300 to be an adult at 12:00 because I saw way more than I should 514 00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:12,900 have seen or I heard way more than I should have heard. 515 00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:16,500 Or I was drawn into all these adult conversations way too 516 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,100 early. And I'm thankful for that. 517 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,900 And that's one of the things that our kids are missing out on 518 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:24,800 by being drawn into all of this Social Media stuff at such a 519 00:26:24,808 --> 00:26:29,100 young age, they're not kids, they're grown up at 14, right? 520 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,300 And we're missing out on that. Let me, let me kind of close 521 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:34,900 with this. Let me answer some arguments. 522 00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:39,200 All right, because I don't deal with it a ton, but I hear a lot 523 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,500 of these different things. And so number one, they need to 524 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,100 have one so that I can get ahold of them. 525 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,900 That's a, that's a number one argument. 526 00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:46,900 I fuck it has to have a phone. I got to be able to get ahold of 527 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,800 Everyone, I would like to know how many parents actually really 528 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,100 do use that phone to get a hold of their kids when they do have 529 00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:55,100 a phone, but be sure you're sending them a people that 530 00:26:55,100 --> 00:26:56,600 you're comfortable with sending them with and you don't even 531 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,900 have to worry about really getting hold of them, right. 532 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,800 We're going. We're going to to teen camp here 533 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,200 in order Youth Camp, here in a few weeks, and they're going to 534 00:27:05,208 --> 00:27:07,500 be responsible adults who are going to be responsible for your 535 00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:12,100 children and if you can't trust them too, if you can't trust the 536 00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:14,300 people that you're going to send him with and they have to have a 537 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,900 phone so you can get a hold of him 24 hours a day, then you. 538 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,400 Only not sending them with people that you should be 539 00:27:18,408 --> 00:27:22,300 sending what's in the first place, but you could give them a 540 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:25,300 phone with only minutes and texting on it. 541 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,200 And that's what we do for our kids. 542 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,500 We leave them at home every now and then, we'll run up to store 543 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,800 Jackson's, getting to the point where he's able to kind of stay 544 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,100 home with the younger ones, and they can handle themselves for a 545 00:27:36,100 --> 00:27:39,000 little bit of time. They have a phone at home, that 546 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,800 can make a phone call, and can send a text, and there's two 547 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,700 phone numbers in it, mine and my wife's, and that's the only 548 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,900 thing they know how to do is send a text and make a call. 549 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:50,100 They absolutely need to get ahold of somebody because 550 00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:52,100 there's an emergency or something like that, they can do 551 00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:54,300 it. They doesn't have any internet 552 00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:56,600 ability, it doesn't have any capability, they don't know, any 553 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,100 of the passwords. They don't know any of that kind 554 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,600 of stuff because I don't want them to be able to have that 555 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,500 because it's not good for them to have. 556 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:06,300 Second thing that I hear a lot of times there's no it's going 557 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:08,600 to stunt their growth in technology and honestly this is 558 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,900 one that I have in the back of my mind. 559 00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:13,900 Sometimes you know, these guys have never really been on a 560 00:28:13,908 --> 00:28:16,500 computer. They've never been on a 561 00:28:16,508 --> 00:28:18,700 smartphone where they can get on there and mess around and play 562 00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:19,900 around and do whatever they want to do. 563 00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:21,900 And I think, you know what, they're growing up in a computer 564 00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:23,600 age and they're going to get to the point where they're going to 565 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,200 be, you know, 18 years old and they don't even know how to turn 566 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,000 a computer on and I know it's going to put them back and 567 00:28:29,008 --> 00:28:31,900 everything else. Do you know that Steve Jobs? 568 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:37,700 The guy who invented the iPhone and the iPad and all these other 569 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:40,400 things did not let his own children. 570 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,500 Have a cell phone or an iPad. Did you know that? 571 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,200 He said it was be it would be way too detrimental for them to 572 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,700 have one of those things. They said around at the dinner 573 00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:55,200 table just about every single night and had dinner together. 574 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,700 No phones, no iPads, none of those things and you know what 575 00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:02,500 Steve Jobs as, probably one of the smartest Tech Minds it's 576 00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:05,600 ever been that's ever lived and maybe he's the one that's 577 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:06,800 responsible for all of this stuff. 578 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,200 So maybe we should be blaming him but obviously didn't feel 579 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,600 that it was so important that his kids be technologically 580 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,700 advanced that they were never going to be able to catch up. 581 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:18,000 Kids pick up things very easily and I've learned that, you know, 582 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,400 we have an iPad that every once in a while, we'll let the kids 583 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,400 play some games on, you know, how long it takes him to figure 584 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,100 stuff out about 10 seconds and they know more about it than I 585 00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:27,200 do. By the time they're done in 586 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,000 those 10 seconds, they'll pick it up, they'll figure it out. 587 00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:33,000 You don't have to have an iPhone to stay up to technologically 588 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,800 up-to-date and all those things. Number three. 589 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:41,200 And I think this is a big one that people Fall prey to. 590 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,100 I don't want them to feel out of place. 591 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,400 Well I got to get my kid a phone that, you know, the everyone 592 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,900 else has a phone to my kid needs to have one too. 593 00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:53,400 It's a very weak argument. We're trying to teach them to be 594 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,500 different from the world, number one, and number two, it's better 595 00:29:56,500 --> 00:30:01,000 to have them feel out of place than to lose them or subject 596 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,300 them. To all the harmful things that 597 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:06,400 we just mentioned. I ride with officers a lot. 598 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,200 And, you know, we'll get to talking about something and 599 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,600 somehow, And I can't even tell you how many times this 600 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,600 conversation is come up for whatever reason. 601 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:16,200 I'm talking about drinking or something like that. 602 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,900 And I'll say, you know, I've never had one sip of alcohol in 603 00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:21,400 my life. Never tasted it. 604 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,600 Don't have a desire to taste it. What you've never drink alcohol. 605 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:27,200 I said, nope. And you know what? 606 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,000 Almost every single time they say, you know what, it's 607 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,200 probably better that way. Probably better that way. 608 00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:38,800 They drink, they go to all these different breweries and 609 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,400 everything else in a lot of their lives. 610 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,400 Revolve around that drinking and everything else, but when they 611 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,000 look back, they say in their mind, you know what? 612 00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:50,400 I wish I'd never started that in the first place and I think the 613 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,000 same thing is true with your children when it comes to 614 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,500 phones, if they're being honest, and look, I'm far enough away 615 00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:59,100 from it now that I can look back and I can be honest, I'm glad I 616 00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:02,100 didn't have that stuff. When I was a teenager, I wanted 617 00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:04,400 everything that all the other teenagers had my parents rarely 618 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,300 gave it to us. I'm glad they didn't. 619 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,500 Ask me that then I would never have said that. 620 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,500 Ask me that now I'm glad they didn't do it. 621 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,200 Did it make me different? Yeah, because there was other 622 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,100 kids that had stuff that I wish I could have had that. 623 00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:19,700 I wish I could have done that. My parents just didn't let me do 624 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,200 but now that I'm looking back on it, I'm glad they didn't. 625 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,700 Let me do those things. Well, they didn't give me that 626 00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:28,700 stuff and this is one of those cases where everybody's got one. 627 00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:30,700 My kids got to have one of their going to feel out of place. 628 00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:34,800 You can be glad that you didn't, and so will they here's the 629 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,700 fourth one that I hear often, as well? 630 00:31:37,900 --> 00:31:41,500 I just have to trust my kid. I know it's probably not the 631 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,700 best, they're going to make mistakes, but I just have to 632 00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:45,500 trust them to make the right decisions. 633 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,800 It's not that I don't trust my kid. 634 00:31:50,300 --> 00:31:52,400 It's that I don't trust his flesh. 635 00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:56,500 And neither should you the same way that I don't trust my flesh. 636 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:02,100 If I put that in his hands and give him the ability to make 637 00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:05,100 those decisions. Then inevitably he's going to 638 00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:08,800 make some wrong ones and those decisions may be way bigger. 639 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,900 Then he even realizes they are maybe even have way more 640 00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:20,700 consequences than I realized at the time when I gave it to him, 641 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,000 there are plenty of other places in ways that they'll be put into 642 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,500 positions where they're gonna have to learn to make the hard 643 00:32:25,500 --> 00:32:28,000 decisions. The consequences for not making 644 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,900 the right decisions. In this area are far too 645 00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:33,200 dangerous for me to feel that. It's worth it. 646 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,400 This this was not a large study that was done by any stretch. 647 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,400 But I've read about one. That was it was actually 648 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:44,500 conducted amongst High School juniors. 649 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,200 And every one of them had a cellphone that had been given to 650 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,900 them by their parents and they asked them to be transparent 651 00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:56,600 about the issues of cell phones. And many of them admitted that 652 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,400 social media has been a very big struggle for them. 653 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:05,600 This is 11th graders, 16, 17 years old, That's something that 654 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,200 should not be a very big struggle for a 16 or 17 year 655 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,400 old. Because they shouldn't even have 656 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,700 that in front of them, but they were willing to admit. 657 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,500 They were very open and honest in the piece of advice that came 658 00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:18,700 out as they wrote down in this little questionnaire and I think 659 00:33:18,700 --> 00:33:22,900 they did it fairly anonymously. So that, you know, it was, it 660 00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:24,700 was not something where they could go talk to these 661 00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:29,700 individuals or whatever else, but the openness more than 662 00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:33,900 anything else, was they said as 11th graders. 663 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,900 Don't give your kids phones for as long as you can help it. 664 00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:42,100 That was from. 11th graders the biggest piece of advice that 665 00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:45,500 they gave in this study. Don't give your kids phones for 666 00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:49,800 as long as you can help it as a pretty interesting conclusion 667 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,000 that they came to and when you're in 11th grade saying that 668 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,600 and you know it's a big problem because you're trying to do 669 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,400 everything you can to convince your parents, why you need to 670 00:33:57,408 --> 00:34:00,800 keep it. Here's my conclusion that I came 671 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,800 to. We can always add a phone. 672 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:08,500 It's very hard to take it away. I obviously don't know everyone 673 00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:12,199 in the world but I don't know of anyone who has permanently taken 674 00:34:12,199 --> 00:34:15,500 away a smartphone from a kid that they had previously given a 675 00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:20,000 smartphone to. Not that you can't take it away, 676 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:24,699 but what happens. So often is if you caved and 677 00:34:24,699 --> 00:34:26,300 gave them that phone in the first place. 678 00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:29,400 Then do you have the ability to go back and take it away from 679 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,699 him? Probably not. 680 00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:38,000 When I, when I cut my hair, I don't usually take as much off 681 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:41,000 as I'm planning to take off. I take off a little bit at a 682 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,000 time because you can always take off more. 683 00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:46,900 You can't put it back on once you've taken it off, right? 684 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,900 And the opposite of that is true with the phone, it's easy to 685 00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:55,000 give a phone, it will be. I assume very, very hard to take 686 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,800 it away. So I think it's much better to 687 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,200 err on the side of caution for all the reasons that we 688 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,600 mentioned here tonight. I'm not saying that you, you 689 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,900 know, I'm not, I'm not sure, I'm not, I'm not your kids parent 690 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,700 you are you have to make that decision when you think the time 691 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:13,600 is, right? And when you think they're able 692 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:17,500 to handle it, I am just cautioning you on some reasons 693 00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:21,300 why you should wait as long as you possibly can to give them 694 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:26,700 not just a phone necessarily but that technology because it's 695 00:35:26,700 --> 00:35:30,900 going to have an effect on them and as soon as it gets into 696 00:35:30,900 --> 00:35:37,300 their hands, Everything changed. Are you willing to deal with 697 00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:40,900 those changes? Because as parents it's our 698 00:35:40,908 --> 00:35:42,800 responsibility to bring them up in the nurture and the 699 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:47,800 admonition of the Lord. And if there is a tool that I 700 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,100 can keep out of their hands to help them in that process of 701 00:35:51,100 --> 00:35:52,900 bringing them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, 702 00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:55,200 then I want to do it. I don't want to give that tool 703 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,900 to them, that's going to put them in a position where they're 704 00:35:57,900 --> 00:35:59,900 going to be compromised or where they're going to fall or where 705 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:02,600 they're going to fail or where they're going to not succeed as 706 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,500 a Christian in their life because I put Thing in their way 707 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,600 that became a stumbling block to them and then I failed in my 708 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,500 position as a father to train them up in the nurture and the 709 00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:14,700 admonition of the Lord, just a caution tonight. 710 00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:17,700 That's all that is. And hopefully some things that 711 00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:19,600 you can use that will be a help to you as you're making those 712 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,700 decisions, they're going to come, you're going to have to 713 00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:23,500 make those decisions. Hopefully, this will help you to 714 00:36:23,508 --> 00:36:25,400 be a little bit more informed and how you do it. 715 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,500 All right, let's pray will be done. 716 00:36:28,500 --> 00:36:30,200 Father, we love you, give me. Thank you so much for your 717 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,900 goodness to us. Thank you for the word of God. 718 00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:35,200 I thank you for practical things that we An use in our lives, 719 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,700 that will help us too. Raise our children for you. 720 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:42,000 That's ultimately our goal is we want our children to reflect the 721 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:46,000 Holiness of God in their lives and as fathers in particular, 722 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,300 but even as parents in general, it's our responsibility to raise 723 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:53,500 them for you and to put them on the best path that will get them 724 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,000 as close to you as they grow up in their lives. 725 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,600 And so, I pray that you give us wisdom. 726 00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,500 I pray that you give us discernment. 727 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:03,700 I probably should help us to to be the guides to our children 728 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,100 that you expect us to be. Thank you for all that you do. 729 00:37:07,300 --> 00:37:09,100 Course, in Jesus name. Amen. 730 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,100 Your? Dismissed. 731 00:37:12,207 --> 00:37:13,100 Dismissed.