1
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,920
All right, So we are continuing 
our series on the life of David 

2
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,880
and we are just about halfway 
there. 

3
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,360
If you guys have been to our 
church for a while, you will 

4
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,160
know that in in June we do 
something called Pulpit 

5
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:21,480
Exchange. 
We're three weeks, basically 4 

6
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,320
churches. 
We just rotate pastors for three

7
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:28,040
weeks. 
And so until then we will finish

8
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:39,080
First Samuel by mid mid June. 
OK, so we have many 

9
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,440
relationships, many types of 
relationships in our lives, but 

10
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,240
only a few of them are 
considered covenantal 

11
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,880
relationships. 
The main 3 for most people will 

12
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:56,280
be our relationship with God, 
marriage and the church 

13
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,560
community. 
And today I want to focus on the

14
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,560
church community because I feel 
like our relationship with God. 

15
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,120
We talk about that all the time.
People are generally, they want 

16
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,720
a good relationship with God. 
They're willing to take seminars

17
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,800
on how to read the Bible to 
improve their relationship with 

18
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,320
God. 
It's something that people 

19
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:18,480
strive for and you know, 
marriage as well. 

20
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,760
People read books on marriage. 
They, they do counseling and, 

21
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:27,360
and all of that, but it's not 
very often that people want to 

22
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,920
do something about the, the 
third area of our covenant 

23
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,920
relationships. 
Not many people want to do 

24
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,200
anything about, Hey, I want a 
deeper relationship with, with, 

25
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,880
you know, my church, the body of
Christ in the, in the church. 

26
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,880
And I think part of it is 
because maybe we've just had 

27
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,240
never deep meaningful 
relationships in the church. 

28
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,560
So we've gotten so little out of
them. 

29
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,720
Maybe that's just like how maybe
we feel like, well, that's just 

30
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,280
how it is. 
And even people who say, well, 

31
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,800
Pastor Tim, you know, I have 
great relationships in the 

32
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,880
church. 
Well, many of those people say 

33
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:08,039
that what they mean is they have
friends in the church, which is 

34
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:12,640
a little bit different. 
Friends are based on some 

35
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:16,920
commonality, some affinity, 
similar interests, life stage, 

36
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:21,920
you know, kids are friends. 
But church community, it's not 

37
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,840
one of those things that bind 
us. 

38
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,440
It's the fact that we are 
committed to Christ. 

39
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:33,520
So today's passage shows us 
through the relationship, you 

40
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,960
know, the friendship of David 
and Jonathan. 

41
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,200
This passage shows us the 
framework to build a meaningful 

42
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,080
community. 
I know it's a story of two 

43
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,880
people and you're like, hey, how
is that a framework for 

44
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,440
community? 
Well, their covenant, it lasts 

45
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,800
for, you know, their descendants
as well. 

46
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,840
So it's not just for them to 
that covenant lasts beyond them 

47
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,840
to and it goes to their 
descendants. 

48
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:02,920
SO1 commentator called this a 
proto community, like a 

49
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,640
prototype of a community. 
He says their covenant 

50
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:12,320
demonstrates in microcosm what a
larger covenant community could 

51
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:17,560
look like. 
So they are a, perhaps a, a, a, 

52
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:22,000
a glimpse of, of the future 
church communities, what they 

53
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,960
could look like. 
So which leads to the question, 

54
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,080
how can we build a meaningful 
community? 

55
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:38,720
How can we build a meaningful 
community #1A meaningful 

56
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:43,560
community requires commitment 
and requires commitment. 

57
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:54,130
Let's turn to First Samuel 18. 
I know it says one through 9, 

58
00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:56,410
but I'm going to read actually 
just one through 4. 

59
00:03:56,610 --> 00:04:02,130
One through 4 when? 
Oh, and just in case you're kind

60
00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:04,610
of joining us, like in the 
middle of, you know, all of this

61
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,890
and you're not familiar with the
story. 

62
00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:13,730
Jonathan is King Saul's son and 
this is the chapter right after 

63
00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:18,040
David and Goliath when David had
finished speaking with Saul. 

64
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:22,160
Jonathan was bound to David and 
close friendship and loved him 

65
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:27,080
as much as he loved himself. 
Saul kept David with him from 

66
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,480
that day on and did not let him 
return to his father's house. 

67
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:36,320
Jonathan made a covenant with 
David because he loved him as 

68
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,840
much as himself. 
Then Jonathan removed the robe 

69
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,080
he was wearing and give it to 
David, and along with his 

70
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,520
military tunic, his sword, his 
bow, and his belt. 

71
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:51,360
We'll stop there. 
A meaningful community requires 

72
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,440
commitment. 
Where do we see that? 

73
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,760
It says here Jonathan made a 
covenant with David. 

74
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:05,040
A covenant. 
David and Jonathan are one of 

75
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,800
the prime examples of a 
covenantal relationship in the 

76
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,120
Bible. 
Naomi and Ruth might be another 

77
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,800
one or would be another one. 
It says here that Jonathan loved

78
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:20,840
him as much as he loved himself.
We see genuine affection and 

79
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:24,320
it's not just one way either. 
Later on we we see that they 

80
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:30,040
when they were separating as 
they wept together though David 

81
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:34,520
wept more now. 
I don't think all your 

82
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,480
friendships and relationships 
will look this way, but at least

83
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,640
what we could do is find out how
we can what it took for their 

84
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,600
relationship to look this 
beautiful. 

85
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,360
So the first thing that we see 
is that Jonathan makes a 

86
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,680
covenant with David. 
This is not a just a casual 

87
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:57,040
friendship. 
A covenant is a formal binding 

88
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,000
process. 
Covenant is a promise that you 

89
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,880
make based on commitment. 
It is different than a contract.

90
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,240
A contract it's actually based 
on distrust. 

91
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,480
It's saying I don't trust that 
you're going to keep your words.

92
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,880
So we're going to have this 
contract and if you break it, 

93
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,000
then you're going to have to pay
this fine or whatever. 

94
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:24,760
Covenant promise is based on 
sacrificial loyalty, a loyalty 

95
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,800
and commitment regardless of 
circumstance. 

96
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:33,440
And This is why, because the bar
is so high and often covenants 

97
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,000
are lifelong. 
And This is why the bar's so 

98
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,280
high. 
And This is why so few 

99
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:43,560
relationships are defined as a 
covenantal relationship, just us

100
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,880
and God, marriage and the 
church. 

101
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,080
You could have others, some of 
you guys are godparents and you 

102
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,600
know some of those count too. 
But very few relations are 

103
00:06:52,600 --> 00:07:01,320
defined as covenant. 
And because like US and God 

104
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,520
covenantal relationship for 
life, like, OK, that makes 

105
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,800
sense, marriage, that makes 
sense. 

106
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,800
And I bet at least some of you 
found it surprising that a 

107
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:16,920
church relationship, church 
community is elevated to the 

108
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:21,400
same level as the other two. 
And the fact that we're 

109
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,920
surprised by this, it's actually
the very reason why we need to 

110
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,600
re look at our church 
relationships. 

111
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,480
And this is also the reason why 
maybe a lot of us don't 

112
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,160
experience our our, our church 
relationships the same way as we

113
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:41,440
experience other ones. 
We come to relationships in the 

114
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,280
church kind of with the same 
attitude, how we've always had 

115
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,720
relationships, always had 
friends. 

116
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,600
It's based on needs being met, 
based on, like I said before, 

117
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,440
affinity, something that is 
similar to you. 

118
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,720
I want someone who I could hang 
out with, play golf with, 

119
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,720
etcetera. 
It's not too different than how 

120
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,320
people became friends in high 
school. 

121
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,640
I remember going to high school 
being very worried who my 

122
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:10,480
friends would be and day one I 
was shocked how so many people 

123
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,560
already found like these groups 
of friends. 

124
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,240
I found that later on, but a lot
of the sports already started in

125
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,520
the summer and all the sports 
kids were already or they saw 

126
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,560
each other every day in the 
summer and they're already good 

127
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,880
friends by the time school 
started. 

128
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,320
The nerds found each other, the 
geeks found each other. 

129
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,880
The wannabe gangsters with the 
cars found each other. 

130
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,480
Everyone finds somebody like 
them. 

131
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,240
My group of friends who? 
What kind of friends did I have?

132
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,679
The popular ones? 
What the jobs? 

133
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:48,320
No, my friends were were people 
like me, Right? 

134
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,720
They. 
Why are you laughing? 

135
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,000
What? 
What is it? 

136
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,800
So who said that? 
What? 

137
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,480
Short? 
Short and still be like what? 

138
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,760
No, I was the shortest one in my
friend group. 

139
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:05,000
Thank you all. 
Our friend was 6 people, all 

140
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,240
six. 
We were born in Korea and raised

141
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,560
here. 
We spoke in English for the most

142
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,920
part, but about 25% we spoke in 
Korean. 

143
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,200
Somehow we found each other 
right. 

144
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:22,520
We grew up even at work, You, 
you, I click with this person 

145
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,040
and that person, there's some 
bonding, some commonality that 

146
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,560
you share. 
And we have the same view of, of

147
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,000
friendships and relationships in
the, you know, when we get to 

148
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:36,080
the church and sometimes we look
around, hey, there's nobody like

149
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,320
me. 
Oh, this is not for me. 

150
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:43,520
And, and, and that is a mistake.
That is the wrong way of looking

151
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,680
at church relationships. 
And perhaps that's why we don't 

152
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:52,800
experience in the same way when 
we started the church 13 years 

153
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,960
ago, not just when we started, 
but throughout we, we always 

154
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,360
wrestled with, OK, how, how 
should our community be formed? 

155
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,560
Our small groups are called 
community groups, CGS to short 

156
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,160
And between me and Pastor Esther
and then Potter, we probably 

157
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:12,200
read, I don't know, at least 10 
books on, on, on small groups. 

158
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,640
And we researched churches that 
are known to have great small 

159
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,880
groups and, and we did a lot of 
work. 

160
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,280
Just what, what are other 
people? 

161
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,280
What do other people think of 
small groups? 

162
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,560
What do other, you know, what 
books say about, you know, the 

163
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:29,080
church community? 
And what, what we found is the 

164
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,800
churches that are growing where 
people like, oh, they have great

165
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,200
small groups. 
We even found the church was a 

166
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,320
mega church. 
It's really hard for a mega 

167
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:42,040
church to have a high percentage
rate, a participant rate for 

168
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,240
small groups. 
It's really hard. 

169
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,280
But this church was really high 
for a mega church. 

170
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:51,520
We studied what they were doing 
and what we found kind of almost

171
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:56,200
universal is that the church 
that had just great rate of 

172
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:00,600
small groups participation, they
made the small groups based on 

173
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:08,480
similarities, same age range, 
same life stage, same gender. 

174
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:14,160
It, it, it was based on what 
people were already used to. 

175
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,800
And that's actually exactly why 
we didn't go that way. 

176
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,920
We, that's all, that's that's 
what we think of relationships 

177
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,600
all our lives. 
That's the type of relationship 

178
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,360
that we have all our lives 
everywhere else. 

179
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,240
Why not? 
Why come to church and have the 

180
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,920
exact same thing? 
Why not try something, perhaps 

181
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:41,880
the Bible models for us. 
We know our church model would 

182
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,040
be unpopular, but we we believe 
that it that was the best 

183
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,400
scenario where people could 
grow. 

184
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,880
We gather, we meet, we share, we
bond, we love each other. 

185
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,000
We care for one another, not 
because there's some 

186
00:11:54,000 --> 00:12:00,680
similarities, but because of our
commitment to Christ and his 

187
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:05,120
church. 
I care for you, you care for me.

188
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:10,720
Not because our kids are 
friends, but because you love 

189
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:15,200
Jesus. 
I love Jesus, meaningful 

190
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,120
relationships, deep communities 
formed. 

191
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:22,480
When people say I'm staying, I'm
committed. 

192
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:27,400
Even if the group is awkward, 
even if the group is moving 

193
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:31,560
slow, even if the group is 
imperfect, the full of imperfect

194
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:37,520
people. 
Commitment gives depth, trust, 

195
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:43,560
bond to any relationship. 
Surely it gives those things to 

196
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,760
community groups as well. 
It allows you to go to the ups 

197
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:52,000
and downs and instead of the 
group disappearing, it stays 

198
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:56,080
stronger. 
If you go to the church and 

199
00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:01,920
community group is a struggle or
or your group is struggling, it 

200
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:07,680
almost always is because not not
always, but almost always it's 

201
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:12,480
because it's a commitment issue.
For the most part, you show up, 

202
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,120
half the people aren't there. 
It just doesn't feel the same. 

203
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,560
Even my group, when a lot of 
people are missing, it's just 

204
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,840
not the same. 
The vibrant excitement, it's 

205
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,160
just not there. 
And imagine one day you know 

206
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:29,880
someone shares deeply and then 
the next week half the people 

207
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,320
are not, not not there. 
Imagine how that person feels 

208
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,240
after they share. 
Oh, maybe they don't care. 

209
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,240
And the CGS that are thriving 
and the people in the groups 

210
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,800
where they say, oh, I love my 
group. 

211
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,960
For the most part, it's because 
they show up, they are 

212
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,760
committed, they serve together, 
they hang out together, they see

213
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,440
each other at church, outside of
church. 

214
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,160
Some community groups even go to
a vacation together. 

215
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:02,400
And that's a lot of commitment. 
I saw ACG like on vacation 

216
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,160
together and I'm like, Hon, can 
my CG go on vacation together? 

217
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,320
I'm like, Oh dear, this is how 
do I, how do we match up our 

218
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:13,720
schedules? 
You know, like 6 families and I 

219
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,880
realized it, it literally will 
take every single person in the 

220
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,720
group to commit and like, OK, we
won't cancel this, we will move 

221
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,400
this around. 
I was like, forget it so much. 

222
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:33,520
The key is everyone is looking 
for that good community. 

223
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:39,120
First time visitors, people 
who've been here 13 years, we're

224
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,880
all looking for a great 
community. 

225
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,920
But what we see in the 
scriptures is that you don't 

226
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:54,080
find it, you build it. 
You don't find that perfect 

227
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,000
community or that community. 
You build it through commitment.

228
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,600
Too many people are looking, not
enough building. 

229
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,240
If your commitment depends on 
how you feel about people, 

230
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,480
you'll never stay long enough to
experience real deep community. 

231
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,760
All right, how can we build a 
meaningful church community #2 

232
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:25,080
Meaningful community is built 
through costly sacrifice. 

233
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:34,480
Costly sacrifice. 
This relationship was costly. 

234
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:40,000
There were sacrifices involved. 
Let's look at verse 4. 

235
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:47,880
We already read it, but this is 
what Jonathan had to give up so 

236
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,760
that he could keep his covenant,
right? 

237
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,160
Make this friendship covenant 
happen. 

238
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:59,120
Verse 4. 
Then Jonathan removed the robe 

239
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:02,200
he was wearing and gave it to 
David, along with this military 

240
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,760
tunic, his sword, his bow and 
his belt. 

241
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:10,880
OK, Jonathan is a Prince of 
Israel, the very first Prince. 

242
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,160
His dad is the very first king. 
So you're thinking, OK, what did

243
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,440
he give up? 
A robe? 

244
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,280
OK, his jacket. 
Military tuning. 

245
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,680
OK, his other jacket, his sword,
his bow, his belt. 

246
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,280
OK, he's a Prince. 
I'm sure there were other 

247
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,640
weapons lying around. 
It doesn't feel like he gave up 

248
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,840
too much, that it wasn't that 
costly after all. 

249
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:38,200
I'm no Prince, but I could give 
up two of my jackets and it 

250
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,600
wouldn't be a big loss. 
They're also 10 years old, but 

251
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,920
they just a jacket. 
Couple things. 

252
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,360
It wouldn't be a big deal for 
the majority of us. 

253
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,800
So why, why am I saying that 
this is a big sacrifice? 

254
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:56,840
Well, for one, that's every, 
every important piece of being 

255
00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:02,480
a, a soldier. 
You know, if, if it's if you 

256
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,920
know anyone in the military, 
right? 

257
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,160
They were meticulous about 
their, their equipment. 

258
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,160
You know, they like clean their 
gun every day and then shine 

259
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,680
their shoes. 
And it's kind of an athlete who 

260
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,440
takes care of, you know, you 
know, the, you know, his 

261
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,839
equipment, They treasure those 
things. 

262
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,000
He gave it to David. 
And a bigger sacrifice is 

263
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:30,280
actually his robe giving his 
robe to David was not just here.

264
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,440
Here's my jacket here here on. 
It's more than that. 

265
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:39,400
See in order for Jonathan to 
stay friends with David, he had 

266
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:44,240
to give up being a Prince after 
David and Goliath incident. 

267
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,240
Saul asked David to now OK just 
don't go home that he used to 

268
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,400
you know, work part time, but 
not now you're full time. 

269
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,640
You're you're here with me. 
And the longer they are with 

270
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,480
David, it was more clear to them
for both of them, for John, for 

271
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,240
father and son, Jonathan and 
Saul, that David was the next 

272
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,960
king, that he was anointed. 
When there's a war and David 

273
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,200
will go, he would just destroy 
everyone. 

274
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,960
When Saul is having his 
headaches and he's going mad, 

275
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,800
David plays the harp and then 
the headaches go away. 

276
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:19,160
It was evident to father and son
that this guy was anointed and 

277
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,320
he was going to be the next king
of Israel. 

278
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,600
The more that became clear more 
upset Saul God, the more he 

279
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,320
wanted to kill David. 
And the more that became clear 

280
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:37,120
Jonathan wanted to up up uphold 
his covenant with David. 

281
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,800
So when he gives his robe to 
David, he's saying, you know, 

282
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:47,400
what, if I'm Prince and I think 
I'm going to be the next king, 

283
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,760
well, I can't be friends with 
you because you're going to be 

284
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,120
the next king. 
So he's saying, no, you're the 

285
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,520
next king. 
I'm giving up my earthly 

286
00:18:55,520 --> 00:19:03,680
identity so we could be friends.
This friendship had both 

287
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:10,600
commitment and sacrifice. 
There was a cost to this 

288
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,880
friendship. 
And I'm not going to read this. 

289
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,080
But later on, Saul gets really 
mad. 

290
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,080
You know, this is chapter 18. 
And by 20, he just really wants 

291
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:24,000
to murder David, and Jonathan 
helps David. 

292
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,720
So Jonathan sacrifices even more
his father's approval, his 

293
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:35,560
safety, his dad throws A spear 
at him, his safety, his throne. 

294
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,320
He gives up all of that for 
David. 

295
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:46,600
What I'm saying is obviously you
don't have to give up your job 

296
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:51,560
or anything like that for 
community, but all things 

297
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,680
attitude, if you have an 
attitude where community is 

298
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,400
costly, it is a costly sacrifice
that is part of this covenant, 

299
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,200
then how you will act, how 
you'll feel will be very 

300
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,000
different. 
But most of us, we have this 

301
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,440
cost benefit analysis that we 
do. 

302
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,800
We generally live life trying to
gain and even in relationships 

303
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:19,440
we would like to gain something.
So we treat it like buying 

304
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,200
something. 
You know we bought this church 

305
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:27,000
bought this pen, right? 
It marks up the screen for 

306
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,840
$30.00. 
I was told original is 100. 

307
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,600
This is a the world famous ESR 
brand. 

308
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,040
OK, who who wants Apple? 
It's all about ESR. 

309
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,960
OK, and we want this 30 bucks. 
Is it worth it? 

310
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,440
I used it. 
Amazon returned it. 

311
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,560
No, just keep it. 
I like it. 

312
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,880
I don't think we need the Apple 
one. 

313
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,560
We cannot have that with 
relationships. 

314
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,040
We join a community. 
Do I like it? 

315
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,800
Is it worth my time? 
Oh, that person's a little 

316
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,760
weird. 
Am I going to get something out 

317
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,520
of it? 
Am I? 

318
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,680
I'm spending two hours, 3 hours 
once a week. 

319
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,840
Is it worth it? 
Am I gaining something out of 

320
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,960
it? 
And that is precisely the wrong 

321
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:15,760
attitude it should be. 
How can I build this community? 

322
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,520
What can I give to this 
community to build it up? 

323
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:31,160
How can I sacrifice another 
major cost to having a covenant 

324
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,560
community? 
The more you attend, the more 

325
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:38,800
you realize, oh man, if you're 
in community groups, I'm forced 

326
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:44,200
to be open and vulnerable. 
These questions it asks you 

327
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,640
like, what are you struggling 
with? 

328
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,760
You know what, what kind of sin 
are you like he asks you very 

329
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,160
personal. 
And it forces you to be open 

330
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:56,600
almost every week. 
And that is at times a major 

331
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:01,320
cost to community. 
Let's read chapter 20, verse 41.

332
00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:14,460
Now this is just one verse. 
And you see the interaction with

333
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:17,020
David and Jonathan and they're 
sharing their heart to each 

334
00:22:17,020 --> 00:22:19,640
other. 
And this is one they have to 

335
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:24,280
separate, right? 
David has to just run away for 

336
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,360
his life. 
And then and then this is where 

337
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,080
they part ways for 41. 
When the servant had gone, David

338
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,520
got up from the South side of 
the Stone of Azo, fell face down

339
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,160
to the ground and paid homage 3 
times. 

340
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,960
Then he and Jonathan kiss each 
other and wept with each other, 

341
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,080
though David wept more. 
Obviously. 

342
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,040
Middle Eastern tradition. 
You kiss on each cheek, that is 

343
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,880
normal. 
And they wept. 

344
00:22:50,160 --> 00:23:01,400
And then David wept even more. 
Men in the Bible, OK, kiss each 

345
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:06,880
other and then cry together. 
OK, OK, all right. 

346
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:13,640
No, just kidding. 
It's being open, reaping and 

347
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:18,480
embracing is the idea of it. 
Just see each other often 

348
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,640
doesn't make relationships 
meaningful. 

349
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,680
Life giving, fulfilling 
relationships require to be open

350
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,440
and honest. 
You got to share feelings, 

351
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,200
thoughts, struggles to each 
other. 

352
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:40,200
Being known is part of the cost.
Think about your sharing or 

353
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,680
maybe your group sharing or 
whatever. 

354
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,760
Most people do surface level 
sharing, right? 

355
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,560
Oh, what's your prayer request? 
Oh, can you pray for my uncle 

356
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,960
who's, you know who has a cold? 
My, my Co worker, you know who's

357
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,480
going through the hard things? 
Those are OK, those are fine. 

358
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:04,280
But if that's all you share, 
then I would have to say that's 

359
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,800
shallow, that you're, you're, 
you're remaining shallow. 

360
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,800
I have a busy week. 
Can you pray for strength? 

361
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,800
Those are all OK. 
I've shared those prayer 

362
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,480
requests too. 
But if that's the deepest you 

363
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:23,160
ever go, then it's shallow. 
And why do most of us remain 

364
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:29,680
shallow in our sharing? 
Because we have this desire to 

365
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:34,560
do image control. 
We hide struggles because we 

366
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,600
don't want people to think we're
weak or even a bad person. 

367
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,600
We have this fear of being 
judged. 

368
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,440
And then we all have this pride 
where we have this desire to 

369
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,200
look kind of put well put 
together. 

370
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:54,240
I'm doing well, I'm a solid 
person, and we want to project 

371
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,680
that. 
And sharing what's really going 

372
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:01,680
on in your hearts that kind of 
ruins your image how people are 

373
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:06,760
going to know that I struggle. 
Being open, Being vulnerable 

374
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,760
means sharing about your 
struggles, allowing the 

375
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:16,080
community part of your your 
decisions, allowing them to get 

376
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:25,000
a glimpse of your real life. 
So if your group is shallow, 

377
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:32,080
well, you start first, you start
opening up and others will 

378
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:37,800
follow. 
I know openness feels risky, but

379
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,320
it's the only path to deep 
relationships. 

380
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:47,560
Let me close with this. 
I said be committed. 

381
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,760
Be sacrificial. 
Why is it so hard? 

382
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,880
Why don't we live like this? 
Why isn't that those things 

383
00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:03,960
natural? 
It's because sacrifice feels 

384
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,160
like a loss. 
We don't like losing. 

385
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,760
We don't like getting the short 
end of the stick. 

386
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,120
But listen to what Jesus says. 
Let's put up John 1513 on the 

387
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:23,990
screen. 
Jesus says this in John 1513. 

388
00:26:25,070 --> 00:26:29,390
No one has greater love than 
this to lay down his life for 

389
00:26:29,390 --> 00:26:33,670
his friends. 
Jesus defines love not as a 

390
00:26:33,670 --> 00:26:39,470
feeling, not as just getting 
along, not as similar interests,

391
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:46,120
but giving yourself away. 
And Jesus didn't just say it, He

392
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:50,440
did it. 
He didn't just give up his robe.

393
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,560
He died for us on the cross. 
He didn't just risk his 

394
00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:02,360
reputation. 
He was on the cross with two 

395
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:06,000
criminals. 
He was mocked the entire time. 

396
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:14,080
He was treated like a criminal. 
He loves you when you're at your

397
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,800
best and when you're at your 
worst. 

398
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,520
He's done all these things for 
you and He loves you no matter 

399
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:27,840
what because He's made a 
covenant with you that He will 

400
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,720
forgive you and restore your 
relationship with God through 

401
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,080
the death and resurrection of 
Jesus. 

402
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,000
All we have to do is put our 
faith and trust in Him. 

403
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:45,000
When you know that what Jesus 
has done for you, your identity 

404
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:49,720
starts changing. 
You don't have to be so scared 

405
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:54,800
that somebody might see the real
you, because now you're secure 

406
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,280
in God's love. 
They see your sins and 

407
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,000
weaknesses. 
It doesn't matter. 

408
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,520
I'm fully loved and accepted by 
my Lord. 

409
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,080
You don't have to do the math. 
Is it worth it? 

410
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,960
Is it worth it because you know 
that what Jesus has done for you

411
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,440
was so sacrificial? 
You've experienced grace, so 

412
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,920
much grace. 
Then you're no longer doing the 

413
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,960
math because you have received 
so much already. 

414
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:29,680
When you know these things as 
truth, you can't commit. 

415
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:35,400
You can't sacrifice because you 
are known, because you are 

416
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,040
loved, because you are God's 
beloved. 

417
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,480
Main point. 
Meaningful relationships are not

418
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,640
found. 
They are built through 

419
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,440
commitment and sacrifice. 
Let's take time to pray.