1 00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:09,160 OK, so we are continuing our sermon series on James, and 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,760 maybe you've noticed I have mentioned it before, but James 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:18,600 has a way with words. He has strong words. 4 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:26,160 He uses powerful sentences, shocking questions, and he wants 5 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,880 to emphasize why the things that he's talking about is important. 6 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,360 If you remember, James is a is not just a letter, but it's also 7 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,440 a wisdom literature of the New Testament. 8 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,040 And he's saying, hey, these things are important. 9 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,320 And last week, if you remember, he starts off this topic with 10 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:55,280 what good is your faith, all the things that you believe in, your 11 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,640 faith, your doctrine. He says, what good is it? 12 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:04,200 And he says even further and says, is it even going to save 13 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,120 you? Are you even saved? 14 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:12,600 He starts with a shocking question to emphasize that your 15 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,040 faith is really nothing without action, without works. 16 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:23,360 And today he says something else that's pretty surprising. 17 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:30,040 He starts off the next section with hello, most of you guys 18 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,760 should not be leaders. That's what he starts off with. 19 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,720 Most of you guys should not be leaders. 20 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,000 Why? Well you this the 1st 2 verses 21 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,920 I'll just read for you. The other verses will read 22 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,400 together. This is what he says. 23 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,640 Not many should become teachers, my brothers, because you know 24 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:58,240 that we will receive a stricter judgement, for we all stumble in 25 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:03,160 many ways. If anyone does not stumble in 26 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:07,040 what he says, he's talking about words, speech. 27 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:13,040 If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he's mature, able 28 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:17,280 to control the whole body. He says most of you should not 29 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,280 become leaders. Why? 30 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,760 Because most of you cannot control what you're saying. 31 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,440 Most of you guys stumble others with your words. 32 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,240 Now James was not discouraging us to be church leaders or 33 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,520 elders or CG leaders or anything like that. 34 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:40,920 He's saying is that much more our speech is important. 35 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,920 Our speech is so important that if your words stumble, others 36 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:52,280 don't be leaders, which is surprising because if like you 37 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:56,400 will hear most pastors, most elders say the opposite. 38 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,080 We will spend a lot of time going to people and saying, hey, 39 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,600 I think you're ready to step up. I think you know you should be 40 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,400 leading. That's we go around telling 41 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,960 people you should lead. But James says, you know what? 42 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,440 Our speech is so important that most of y'all should not be 43 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,000 leading. So naturally the question we 44 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,920 want to answer is OK, so how can we control the tongue? 45 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,000 Why should we control the tongue? 46 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,000 So that's the question we want to answer today. 47 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,040 Why must Christians tame our tongue? 48 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,520 Why must Christians tame our tongue? 49 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:40,520 Number one, because your words can tear others down. 50 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,800 Because your words can tear others down the street. 51 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:50,720 Versus 3 to 6. James, 33 to 6:00. 52 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:59,000 Now if we put bits into our the mouths of horses so that they 53 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:03,960 obey us, we direct their whole bodies and consider ships the 54 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,840 very large and driven by fierce winds. 55 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,400 They are guided by a small route, very small rudder, 56 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,520 wherever he, the will of the pilot, directs. 57 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,760 So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it 58 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,560 boasts great things. Consider how small fire sets a 59 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,720 blaze, a large forest, and the tongue is a fire. 60 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,160 The tongue, a world of world of unrighteousness, is placed among 61 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,080 our members. It stains the whole body, sets 62 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:33,640 the course of life on fire, and itself set on fire by hell. 63 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,360 Strong words. James starts off with the first 64 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,560 couple verses 345. He gives us 3 illustrations of 65 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,840 how something so little can make such a big impact a bit on a 66 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,000 horse. It goes into the horse's mouth 67 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,840 and you pull on it and it controls where the horse goes. 68 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,000 It's tiny, but it controls if the horse jumps, it's it walks 69 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,480 slow, goes fat, runs fast. All of that rudder of a ship, 70 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,880 same thing, tiny little thing back of the boat. 71 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,040 It controls which direction the ship goes. 72 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:14,680 Why did the Titanic ship sink? Titanic sink because they turned 73 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,920 the rudder the wrong way and they're trying to correct it. 74 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,800 It was too late. Iceberg and they sink. 75 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:25,440 It says here a small fire causes a it could cause a forest on 76 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,080 fire. We know that there was a big 77 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,840 fire in the Pacific Palisades, which spread to other regions. 78 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,280 I read in the news that the person who started I got 79 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,040 arrested. So we so that big old fire was 80 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:44,520 set off by a dude with a lighter, a little lighter and 81 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,200 23,000 acres of land was burnt. And that's just the Palisades. 82 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,680 In comparison Torrance is only 12,000. 83 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,880 So if you combine Torrance, Gardena, Lumina, Redondo Beach, 84 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:59,280 that's 23,000. All started by a lighter. 85 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,560 Something small could cause such big damage. 86 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,200 That's what James is saying. He's saying your words. 87 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:14,720 It seems small, seems little, seems like it's nothing, but it 88 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,880 could cause so much harm. It could do really harm. 89 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:26,560 This is from the message Bible and IA lot of times if the 90 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,880 passage is not that clear, I like to go to the message Bible. 91 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,000 If you you know in your Bible apps, it's one of them, one of 92 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,480 the translations, it's a little different. 93 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,280 He uses like kind of contemporary speech to write. 94 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,400 The Bible is written by just one man. 95 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,440 It shouldn't be your only that should not be your main 96 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,040 translation. But if you kind of have a hard 97 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,440 time understanding the passage, please do turn to the message 98 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,160 Bible. This is what he how he 99 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:56,480 summarizes a couple of verses by our speech. 100 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:02,800 We can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a 101 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:07,800 reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke 102 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,520 with it. This is scary. 103 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,560 This is how he summarizes the 2 verses that we ran, or the last 104 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,160 two verses we ran. Words. 105 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:26,880 It could be scary. How do we use words to destroy, 106 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,960 to cut down, to harm, to curse? One of them is lies. 107 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,120 Lies destroy trust. How many friendships, how many 108 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:41,000 marriages, how many family relationships are destroyed 109 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,640 because of lies? Soon as you lie, it destroys the 110 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,840 trust and it's hard to recover from that. 111 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,400 A type of lie that we don't really think about too much is 112 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:56,680 flattery. Flattery is saying what someone 113 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,760 wants to hear and it's not based on the truth. 114 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,040 It's different than encouragement. 115 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,760 Encouragement is building up with truth. 116 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,040 Flattery is building up with lies. 117 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:13,320 So actually tearing down, it's manipulative and you do it. 118 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,160 You flatter somebody for some personal gain. 119 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,520 You want that person to like you. 120 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,520 You want, you want that person to like you because because that 121 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,680 person's important or, or whatever. 122 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:32,600 Flattery usually stems from some some selfish motives. 123 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,400 And not only is bad for you, flattery is also bad for the 124 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,120 person that you're you're doing it to. 125 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,400 And people are often kind of confused by that. 126 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,760 Why? But we're being nice. 127 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,040 How's that bad? How's that harming that person? 128 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,800 It's harming that person because it feeds their pride and ego. 129 00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:01,240 Who usually received flattery as people who are important, who 130 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,640 are popular, who are powerful, who have influence. 131 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,840 And as you keep flattering them, the eagle gets bigger, the head 132 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:17,080 gets bigger. You know, sometimes I see people 133 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:22,560 who are pastors of big churches. And we just had a pastor's big 134 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:27,840 pastors meeting few, few days ago at a big church right down 135 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,160 the street. And there were like 30-40 136 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,000 pastors. And you know, there's a few 137 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,920 pastors who are who come from like churches of thousands, 138 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,520 right? And I come from church with 10s. 139 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,480 Is that a word? Is that hundreds, 10s? 140 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,120 And you know, I show up, nobody flatters me. 141 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:53,200 I hate them, right? And most, most of the time 142 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,920 they're reading my name tag. I don't know my name, right? 143 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,720 They go, Hey, Tim, right. And then and then the big time 144 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,400 pastors like nobody needs to, they don't need a name tag, 145 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,440 right? And then, you know, they say 146 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,960 something everyone's like, you know, they talk about like, you 147 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,560 know, something just so, so, so menial, right? 148 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,960 Like, oh, this paper is thick. Oh, is it? 149 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:20,480 Everyone's so interested in what they say And, and honestly, it's 150 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,600 not good for that guy to go everywhere they go. 151 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,440 Everyone's so interested, everyone's laughing. 152 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,760 It's not good for that person's ego. 153 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,200 Imagine going home and the wife is not going to treat him like 154 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,760 that. It's like, why are you treating 155 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,400 me like this? Nobody else treats me like that. 156 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,920 So what flattery does is when somebody doesn't give them 157 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,160 flattery, they're almost offended. 158 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:50,600 So it's not good for the person you're doing to. 159 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:55,600 It's not good for you. It's words seems innocent, seems 160 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,200 so small a lighter. But it could be very harmful. 161 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:05,680 It could be do a lot of damage. Flattery is in a way enabling 162 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:10,480 their sinful desires. Another way words could tear 163 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:16,680 down gossip. You know, I like to think that 164 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:24,440 I'm above gossip, right? And normally I don't like it 165 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,440 when church person tells me something. 166 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,720 I never say anything to my wife. Sometimes it's not even gossip, 167 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,920 it's something positive. And I still don't tell my wife 168 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,000 just in case someone tells me like oh pastor, we're pregnant, 169 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000 we're expecting. I don't know why I don't tell my 170 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,760 wife she finds on Instagram and I'm like, oh, I knew that like 2 171 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,360 months ago. She always gets mad at me. 172 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:49,880 I don't gossip, especially within church matters because 173 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:55,720 there's a selfish motive. I know a harmful gossip can be 174 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,600 and I don't want to damage my own church. 175 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,600 I started this church, I don't want to damage my own church. 176 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:09,280 So there is a selfish motive behind why I don't gossip within 177 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:15,440 church. Now outside of church, what kind 178 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,280 of person am I? I would say I'm definitely not 179 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,840 above gossip outside the church. This is almost embarrassing. 180 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:26,160 Not almost. It is embarrassing to admit, but 181 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,160 I was very ashamed of myself this past week. 182 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,480 There is a pastor that my wife and I know we both know actually 183 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,800 it's through like her, her circle, right? 184 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,240 And he served at a church that is very well known. 185 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:46,160 He got let go. I'm not gossiping God. 186 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:51,640 I'm just this, this is Lord strike me down. 187 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:59,720 He got let go because he had an affair and OK, I'm good. 188 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,000 And this happened, you know, a couple years ago. 189 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,440 But, you know, in the pastor's meeting, that the, the pastor's 190 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:10,840 breakfast that I was a part at in the meeting, I, I found out 191 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:17,920 that, you know, he had an affair with the, the praise leader, a 192 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,960 female praise leader and then a male pastor. 193 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,600 And I didn't know that. So I was like, OK. 194 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:27,120 And I kind of forgot about it. And later that night I 195 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,560 remembered. So what did I do? 196 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:36,040 I went to the church's live stream from two years ago and 197 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,400 looked at the stream to see who that Lady was. 198 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,240 I was looking at it. Oh my gosh, She's so much 199 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:48,800 younger, Christine. Luckily it was late at night. 200 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,040 It was 9:45 PM. My wife was already asleep. 201 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,400 I was past her bedtime, so she didn't hear any of it. 202 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,840 But then I, I stopped. I was in my computer because, 203 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,240 you know, I was, I was going to look over my sermon and I was 204 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,120 like, Oh my gosh, I'm preaching A sermon. 205 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,640 Part of it is gossip. And what am I doing? 206 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:13,400 So next day I go to church and this is the truth. 207 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:18,440 If I was not preparing a sermon on gossip, I would have told all 208 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,960 that juicy stuff to my pastors. Hey, you know that church? 209 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,520 Hey, remember that guy got fired? 210 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,360 Hey, it was, it was, it was this person. 211 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,160 Well, I guess I'm telling you this now. 212 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:40,940 But now when we gossip, it's hard to figure out what's gossip 213 00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,980 and what's not. It's a lot of Gray area. 214 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:48,780 You have to carefully examine your motives and hopefully you 215 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:50,620 could discuss this more in your community groups. 216 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,160 Like when is it not gossip? When, when is it gossip? 217 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:00,840 And to, to put it like kind of in, in a very short way, it's 218 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:05,400 about your motives. Like generally, why do people 219 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:10,480 gossip? Why do people talk about other 220 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:15,040 people's shame? Because ultimately it makes them 221 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,800 feel better when I put others down. 222 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:26,120 It elevates me naturally. Now, Christina and I, we talked 223 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,960 about another marriage recently. Nicole came in and Keith Urban 224 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,640 got a divorce and I said, oh wow, I didn't. 225 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,600 I thought they were going to be married forever. 226 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,000 And we talked about it. Is that gossip? 227 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,240 No, because I don't care. Them getting divorced, staying 228 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,480 together, it does nothing for me. 229 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,720 Putting them down does not elevate me. 230 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,320 Anyway, we're just discussing the news. 231 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,880 But. Let's say I'm going around 232 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,680 telling everyone, hey, this person in this church, you know 233 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,120 what kind of scandal they had. I'm bringing the other pastors 234 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,840 down. Now that elevates me. 235 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,520 Now that has a selfish motive. So. 236 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,920 To me, that's the best way to determine if it's gossip or not. 237 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:16,520 Does it elevate me in any way? Does it increase my value by 238 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,760 bringing other people down? And also if. 239 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,120 You're like excited to talk about it, right? 240 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,880 It's somebody else's shame, right? 241 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,680 So usually that there's gossip. So something to be very 242 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:36,720 prayerful over and and and consider seriously, how do we 243 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,800 destroy others with our words? Gosh, I just talked about lion 244 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,920 gossip, but there's so many more We talked about. 245 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,000 We did a mission team, you know, debrief today. 246 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,160 How do you destroy a mission team? 247 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,560 Complain. How do you lose? 248 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:59,080 Friends quickly show off How do you demoralize your Co workers 249 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:05,760 harsh criticisms and be especially if you're like being 250 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:11,200 sarcastic about it. How do you demoralize your kids? 251 00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,359 Criticize their. Performance. 252 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,200 Only. Have kind words when they're 253 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,839 performing, harsh words when they're not performing. 254 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:28,640 That will destroy them. Their value will be based on 255 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:35,440 what they achieve in life. Slander, gossip, lie. 256 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,160 I mean there's words are harmful. 257 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,720 Think just remember your words is a little lighter. 258 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:50,480 They could burn down 23 acres. Why most Christians tame our 259 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,480 tongue. It's not just because it's bad. 260 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,240 The sermon is not it's bad, so don't do it. 261 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:02,320 But it's also not only it's bad, your words could actually do 262 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,800 something very positive. As much as it could burn down, 263 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:11,720 it could build up. The sermon is not about don't do 264 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,880 it. It's about. 265 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:20,080 Use those words for the good. So my point #2 is why most 266 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,560 Christians tame our tongue? Because your words can give 267 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,640 life. Because your words could give 268 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:30,880 life. Let me read verses 9 and part of 269 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,240 verse 10. With the. 270 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:39,120 Tongue earlier talked about tongue being restless, evil and 271 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:39,840 poison. All that. 272 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:45,360 Also, first night with the tongue we bless our Lord and 273 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:49,480 Father, and with that we curse people who are made in God's 274 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:53,280 likeness good to both. Verse 10, blessing and cursing 275 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,880 come out of the same mouth. James is saying with the same 276 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,720 mouth you could curse, you could bless. 277 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,800 He's not saying just stop. He's saying. 278 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:14,480 Instead, bless. We can heal. 279 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,280 Words can heal. Words can give joy. 280 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,840 It could build theirs up. It could encourage others. 281 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,720 Words. Are just as powerful in the 282 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:29,560 positive way. And I think something to keep in 283 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:34,840 mind is OK, how do we build up? Like do I have to make a speech 284 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:38,840 like I'm not good with words? Like how do I use words to help 285 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:43,080 people don't think about it? Like in a complicated way. 286 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,040 Colossians 4/6 I think is a good guideline. 287 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,840 It just says let your speech always be gracious. 288 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,920 Let it be gracious. You know why? 289 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,240 Because human beings are fragile. 290 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,400 We grew up with the phrase or saying sticks and stones can 291 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,520 break my bones, but the words can never hurt me. 292 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,880 That is a lie. We get. 293 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,720 Little Nicks and cuts through our lives like physical cuts and 294 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,840 it's, it's there. I have a scar right here. 295 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,480 I have a scar in my knee. It's because when I fell and I 296 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,360 remember still exactly how I got it. 297 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,560 Those little. Scars is also in our hearts. 298 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,120 It's not visible, but we all have scars and we exactly, we 299 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,880 know exactly why we haven't. We've been hurt. 300 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:38,960 We've been traumatized. We are all very fragile. 301 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:46,280 People might act tough, but it's just, it's a facade, It's not 302 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,240 real. We're all. 303 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,400 Fragile. We're all vulnerable to words. 304 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,640 I. Remember, I've been preaching 305 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,520 for many years, over 20 years. And I remember I was probably 306 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:05,280 about 22, more than half my life ago, I preached A sermon. 307 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:10,040 It was a youth sermon, but there was, we didn't have like a, that 308 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,960 was the only English service. So some older people were in 309 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,760 there as well. When I say older, I meant like, 310 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,480 you mean like 20s, right? So youth and then a few college. 311 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:24,640 And I preached my sermon and then somebody my age came up to 312 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:29,600 me after and said, Tim, that sermon made no sense. 313 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,960 And she walked away. Right. 314 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:37,120 Like, thank you very much. That was 23 years ago and I I 315 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,520 still remember it. Now. 316 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,880 For our sermons, I write my sermons and this, this is 317 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,760 reviewed by Pastor Esther and Pastor Daniel and we've been 318 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,120 doing this ever since the church first started. 319 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,000 OK, I don't the pastors review my sermon. 320 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,800 We take a lot of time in it. Sometimes I wonder, is it 321 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,760 because I'm passionate about preaching the word of God 322 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,200 Because I'm traumatized by someone saying your sermon made 323 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,760 no sense. I want to make sure it never 324 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:14,080 that never happens again. Only God knows. 23 years ago, 325 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:20,680 one comment I still remember. Be kind with your words because 326 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,280 everyone is fighting a hidden battle, a battle dealing with 327 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,080 scars in our lives because what people have said to us. 328 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,000 So say. Words that build up one another, 329 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:41,080 not tear down, use life giving words and how do you do it? 330 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:46,640 Just be gracious. For example, going back to 331 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,240 flattery, flattery is, you know, people think that's being nice, 332 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,040 right? But it's because based on false 333 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,120 things. It's not really, you know, it's 334 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,640 just feeling their ego. It doesn't mean that when you 335 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,600 see somebody doing something wrong, you say, OK, so don't 336 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,680 flatter, don't just go along, don't just laugh at all. 337 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,240 Sure. As Christians, we need to combat 338 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:13,320 that with truth, but it doesn't mean you have to do that in a 339 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:18,640 mean way or a harsh way. That's why the Bible always 340 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,720 says. Truth in. 341 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:25,960 Love. There is a way to do correction 342 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,400 in a loving way. So for example, let's say there 343 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,400 was a wedding and a bunch of church people in there and 344 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,680 somebody clear clearly had too much to drink. 345 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,480 OK, drunk. What do we do? 346 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:46,600 The vast majority will ignore it, laugh it off, and if you do 347 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,360 talk about it will be behind that person's back. 348 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,960 Like, Oh my God, did you see that guy? 349 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,280 What a idiot. Did you drink so much you'll 350 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,320 think some crazy? We just kind of talk behind 351 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,200 their backs and then we get over it and forget about it. 352 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:09,400 The Pharisee type who loves putting the wrong in people. 353 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,160 So gossip, you lower them down and you feel elevated. 354 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:18,240 The Pharisee types they criticize, they point out wrong 355 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,320 also to elevate themselves. Same thing. 356 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,240 Gossip and and harsh criticism is really it's in the same 357 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,720 family of sins. They won't. 358 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,680 Point it out. Be harsh so that they feel 359 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:38,800 better. Being gracious means maybe 360 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,880 calling that person a day or two later. 361 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,000 Have that person calm down. Have the person think about a 362 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,080 little bit and say hey brother, and this is the hard thing to 363 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,960 do. Hey brother, I noticed you had a 364 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,000 little too much to drink last week. 365 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:58,840 Is everything OK? Is everything OK? 366 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,320 And here that person out, what's going in their lives? 367 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,200 What's going on in their lives that they lost control? 368 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,800 And give. And if if they need it, a gentle 369 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:14,080 rebuke, hey, I think it'll be a better example. 370 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,400 There were people younger than us and there were some kids. 371 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,080 And I think it's the bet. Better thing to do is maybe we 372 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:27,680 drink a little bit less. Gentle, in fact. 373 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,080 We need to start creating a culture. 374 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,880 Church is known to be very first cycle judgmental, right? 375 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,160 That's what Christians are known for. 376 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,760 What if? We reverse that. 377 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:45,160 Instead of having people pointing out the wrongs, what if 378 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,880 we were the anti reverse Pharisees? 379 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,440 We point out what people do right. 380 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:56,360 Instead of. Ha, I caught you. 381 00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,680 You're doing this. You're not doing that. 382 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,880 How about? Catching people doing right. 383 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,840 Gotcha. You know I've been. 384 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,080 To only couple prayer meetings and every time I'm I go, you're 385 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:15,160 always there busted. You act like you don't really do 386 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,600 much, but man, behind the scenes you're always taking out the 387 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,480 trash. You're doing this. 388 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,120 You're doing that. OK, I'm only kidding about the 389 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:22,960 busted gotcha. Don't. 390 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,880 Don't actually do that. But. 391 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:30,400 You know what I mean? We point out what's right. 392 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,880 We point out. Truth we encourage, we give 393 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:46,600 life, parents. I I. 394 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,720 Give a lot of applications to parents because I care about our 395 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,960 children. That's why even though I'm a 396 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:58,800 senior pastor of this church, once a month I am preaching next 397 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:03,160 door to children. I think that's very important 398 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:09,640 and I will continue doing that. So, parents, I'm telling you 399 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,000 this so your children could benefit, so your children could 400 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,640 grow. Build. 401 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,440 Your children up with words. Don't. 402 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,240 Just every day, stop. Don't do that. 403 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,080 Be nice. Stop disobeying. 404 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:34,000 It's just command and correction and rebuke and don't do this. 405 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,560 Do that instead just and by the time they're like 11 and 12, 406 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:43,360 they're going to tune you out. So what can we? 407 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,440 Do. I'm not saying as. 408 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,320 Parents don't correct them. That's part of your job. 409 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,880 You instruct you correct. That's part of it. 410 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,680 But do you also say I'm proud of you? 411 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,040 How about I'm? Proud of you, apart from their 412 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:06,320 accomplishments. Remember I shared about a story. 413 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,560 It was many years ago. There was a pastor. 414 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,040 We're at a pastor's retreat. He's. 415 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,480 Talking to his daughter, you know, at night that he was, 416 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,400 we're sleeping there. So they call her family. 417 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,200 Usually it's the kids with the younger kids, right? 418 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,760 When I go to. Cambodia, I won't be calling 419 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,640 home like my God. Hi, I won't do that. 420 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:27,960 I just see you in two weeks. But he was, he was like talking 421 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,560 to his daughters. I was like, oh, how old are your 422 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,000 kids? He's a little old to have little 423 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:31,880 kids. And I was like, oh, how old are 424 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:36,160 your kids? You know, 58, like 17. 425 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,560 So why didn't you call your 17 year old daughter? 426 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:44,560 And like, I was like, wow. And then I was like, how's your 427 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,000 relationship so good? And you know, a couple people 428 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,920 were shocked and we were asking him and he said he's like, I 429 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,280 don't know. But he's like, I think there's 430 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,080 one thing I do. He's like one thing he did, he 431 00:28:54,080 --> 00:29:00,480 said before every test, he'll say I'm proud of you before they 432 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:05,720 took the test as even when they're a little as they're 433 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,160 dropping off at he's dropping off his daughter before the 434 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,800 test. I'm proud of you. 435 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,760 I'm already proud of you. He said that. 436 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:20,960 He said ever since they're little all the way to now for 437 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,680 17, you start 11 years of her life. 438 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:30,400 She heard her dad saying words that gave her life, gave her 439 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,920 encouragement. Even if I fail, he's already 440 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,120 proud of me. If even if I don't get the grade 441 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,360 that I want, he's already proud of me. 442 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,960 She grew up hearing words of grace. 443 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:51,080 Parents don't just command them. The 10 commandments have saved 0 444 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,840 souls. It's the gospel of grace, the 445 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:58,080 saved. Tell them that you. 446 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:03,280 Love them, buy them ice cream after a game even if they suck. 447 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,960 They hit a home. Run ice cream, they strike out 448 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:16,040 three times ice cream when you fight with your wife or husband, 449 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,320 there's point on marriage where, especially early on, you try to 450 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,600 fight when your kids are not around. 451 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:25,920 It's like we'll just talk about later. 452 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,200 And then there's a point where you just fight in front of them. 453 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,800 That's when you know your your marriage is gone. 454 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,840 S that's when you got to give me a call and and set up a meeting. 455 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,360 Fighting in front of them is fine. 456 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,920 You're human beings, but you know how you do it? 457 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:55,080 In a gracious way. Have your kids hear you say, OK, 458 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,720 I'm sorry. Fight and have them hear you 459 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:06,880 say, I'm sorry, that was my bad. Have them hear you say, I 460 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:11,400 forgive you. But you know what they hear? 461 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,880 Someone comes home from work. Oh, this is not done. 462 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,680 Why, Why? Why is so messy? 463 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,840 Did you take out the trash like I asked? 464 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,160 You didn't. Oh my goodness, didn't I tell 465 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,320 you to pay the kids fees? You still didn't. 466 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,760 It's just accusations and blame. That's what the kids grow up 467 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,160 hearing. There's no gracious words. 468 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,480 So when they. Go out into the world. 469 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,400 What kind of words are they? Are they going to speak? 470 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,360 Words that. Tear down because that's all 471 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:47,680 they know. But you come home, something's 472 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,280 not done. And you say, oh, honey, you must 473 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,200 have a hard day. I got it. 474 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:52,040 I got it. I'll do this. 475 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,680 I'll do it today. Well, I'm, I'm sorry. 476 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:08,520 I messed up. Grace, so how? 477 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,960 Do we have a tongue like this? How do we have how do we have 478 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,920 this encouraging tongue that builds up? 479 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:18,920 James actually does not really give us the answer. 480 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,480 Verse 8. This is what he says. 481 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,800 Oh, you want a tongue like that? This is what he says. 482 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,240 Verse 8. But no one. 483 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,440 Contains a tongue. Amen. 484 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,520 Look at this closing prayer. All right, That's all. 485 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,480 That was useless because no one could control it. 486 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:40,000 Now, this is what James means. He's saying you cannot tame your 487 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,680 own tongue. You can't. 488 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,920 Will it to be good? You can't sit down and go. 489 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,200 I'm going to try really hard. That's just. 490 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,600 It. Might work for a little bit. 491 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,160 There are books you can read, there's tools. 492 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,440 It might help a little bit. But ultimately you cannot 493 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:09,520 control the tongue because your words, it's an overflow of your 494 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,280 heart. Whatever, whatever's in your 495 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,040 heart, that's what's going to come out. 496 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:21,240 You can't control it. So how do you how do you have 497 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,400 gracious words come out? Have a gracious heart? 498 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,920 You work on the heart. How do you work? 499 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:35,720 On the heart you worship God, you listen to his words, be 500 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:40,560 amazed by his grace when you're living life constantly thinking 501 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,520 about I've been forgiven. If that's in your heart, 502 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,160 forgiveness is going to come out. 503 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,640 You live your life knowing that, Oh my goodness, everything that 504 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,520 I have is undeserved. I don't deserve this life. 505 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,120 What's going to come out? Words of thankfulness. 506 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,680 You're always grateful. You're always. 507 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:09,960 Going to be quick to forgive because your heart knows that 508 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:14,760 you are forgiven first. When you are consumed by the 509 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,199 gospel, when we are thinking about it, when you're praying 510 00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:20,000 about it, when you're worshiping God, that is a priority in your 511 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,639 life. Spending time. 512 00:34:22,639 --> 00:34:25,679 With God reading this and meditating on this, listening to 513 00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:27,679 this, if that is a priority, your. 514 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,400 Heart will. Change your heart will melt. 515 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,920 Grace will come out. Main point. 516 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:43,440 We must allow the gospel to reshape our hearts so our words 517 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,760 can be a blessing to others. Let's take time to. 518 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:47,000 Pray.