Greetings come and welcome the foil to the base.
I am Cannibal Chris. I will be our GM as we embark on
a new quest. We are jumping into Doomkirk
from Monolith, #1 from the Bog folk.
It was pretty terribly sad, but the fact remains.
Hello, I am Levi. I don't know what I'm going to
be doing. What do you mean we're?
Going to find out. What do you mean I'm going to
die? Oh, that's what you mean?
Yeah. I'm going to die.
I'm Thomas and I am still playing we but and I'm OK.
I'm Kevin and I'm hoping I don't die and I'm still playing
Scoots. I'm Jake and I play another set
of bones. I'm Nate, and I'm well for now.
General Cedric Balthazar. Go flail yourself
SO5 of you. I guess six of you, if you
include Gulad, have escaped, surprisingly miraculously, from
King Flatmu, the 9th prison below Schleswig.
After two days of crawling through a a tunnel the size of
you and not much bigger, you managed to emerge in the valley
of the unfortunate undead, according to a guy who died
shortly after telling you that. I'm sorry, did he die?
He basically said that he held up his leg, asked if it looked
infected. Bam.
And then we cut. And then we cut.
And then he died, You know now. Yeah, you did.
All right, so the five of you then decide you can't stay here,
you need to move on, right? So you guys walk in any
direction because at this point, can you.
I imagine that we use the sun pretty much and we use landmarks
that are familiar to us to kind of tell us where to go when we
go places. I can't imagine that being a
possibility here because you know, value the unfortunate
undead is you probably never been there.
And if you have, what the hell are you doing there?
You know what I mean? Like you probably haven't been
here. So landmarks.
Pretty much nonexistent as far as any of that goes.
Or or familiar landmarks anyway. Also the sun kind of being
pretty much nonexistent as well. Not real easy to track by.
So which way is east? Which way is West?
Who the fuck knows? But you do know that there are
mountains on the horizon, so you guys make your way through.
Give me a D8, anybody? I'm going to go Kevin because he
was like reacting quick. 55, OK, so it's for transparency
purposes or for transparency safe.
It's to travel in the direction that you're going takes D 8 + 2
days, you go to five. Therefore, it's going to take
seven days to get to where we're going.
T thanks, Scoots. Yeah, yeah, so, so for four days
or so, you guys just travel through this.
Black sand, mossy stones and cold rivers of the valley.
The unfortunate undead. Occasionally you'll see a burnt
out Chapel or an abandoned building, but day one give me a
D6. Now I'm going to continue doing
the descending Misery dice. However, for these fast travel
moments, which we're kind of doing, it's like a gloss over to
get to where we're going. For the adventure, I'm locking
it where it is until it gets reset.
All right, I got you. Boom.
So the D6 initially. That's a that's a fucking one.
No, that's real bad. Give me a D6.
Got to hear that gong. Yep.
OK, so give me a D66, Jake. 24 So you hear a gong the morning
of the first day out and one of you Gould odd, that's been
better. You see, he like sits up.
You're you're holding them on your back, Fisk.
You've been holding them on your back for a long time.
Probably not changing. That a ridiculous amount of
time, yeah. I mean, yeah.
And he sits up all of a sudden, and the morning of the first
day, and you hear I did 10 days and one the whitenings and
sorceries. Would be made bad.
What are you doing right back later?
What do you mean? You you just you just started
screaming. You just shot up, grabbed me by
my ears, Oh didn't, and just screamed in it?
Nope. Appreciated.
I felt I begged to. Death So agree to disagree?
Can we get the playback? On that one.
I don't have the rewind feature. On I don't know what I just said
either. Moving on then.
Anybody infected give me damage and that's Cedric and Fist.
Yes, I'm waiting for this. Fuck.
Who's this?
Who's Fisk? You.
Gotta fucking. I'm rolling my omens first.
Yeah, actually that's a good idea.
Roll omens if you need to beforehand.
I like that, cuz that might give.
You a chance, I think. 2 omens 2 please please.
Please my God, I'm totally dead. I'm using an omen to reduce 5 -,
5. All right, I'm.
Still alive for now. What do I roll?
A D6D6? Yep.
Holy fuck. I have three health by the way.
You have a much better chance of surviving than I do.
You roll the six. Oh boy, you're.
Gonna use my one omen. You're gonna use your one omen
to reduce that. Yeah, OK, by 6.
I don't wanna play another character.
Come on. It's a four.
It's a four. 6 -. 4 is a four. You take two damage, you're at
one health. OK, God, guys, next then.
Anybody else need to roll omens? I did.
I rolled A2. So I have two omens alright, and
I need to roll my Yep. That's the next thing. 2% chance
of heart failure. 31 So, OK, you're good.
And then everybody give me a presence test.
I don't feel so good, actually. Wait, scratch that.
OK, I forgot about this, but I'm so every single day I'm going to
do this is battery of things, right?
But the fact that there was a misery today, I was like,
whatever's A misery, we don't. You don't get that presence test
right. And the present test is to find
something. But I click on a misery date.
It's Yeah, no, we don't get Jack shit right.
OK, so another day passes across the valley of the unfortunate
undead. Somebody give me a D20 for the
misery. We don't stumble on anything.
All right, I I fucking pull the misery out of my.
House someone else can roll. I'll roll it, but the misery
prevented it. It's 12.
OK, good to go. All right, we're.
And that's going to stay a D20 until we get to our location.
Yeah, anybody need omens? Rolled I.
Still have one. OK, give me infection damages. 4
-, 3 I died. You died.
I know I'm at 0. You're at 0.
Give me a D4. All right, hold on.
Let me roll 2. Hold on.
I'm just gonna be with his nice thing here.
That's six damage. Again -6.
I cancelled it out. Thanks.
OK, I cancelled a. Little 2A2 give me a D66.
You lost an eye. You can't act for D4 rounds and
become active with D4HP, so just give me a D4 for your HP.
Oh, you're going to gain some points here. 3HP?
Yeah, you actually gained a point.
All right, well, it's pretty good.
You lost an eye, though? I don't.
Give up. Which is for that you're a
ghost. So what does that even look
like? He just doesn't materialize with
an eye, I guess. You.
You have a so scoots 2%. 4040
OK, now you guys can give me a presence test DR18-O.
Why does your eye look a little more glossy?
What? Cheat.
Wait, can I reroll if I wanted all that?
If you really want to spend an omen for it, yeah.
Natural 20 baby. Nice.
It didn't matter, OK? Anybody passed that?
I have got to spend. 1919 OK And leave it.
So Nate's give me a D8. Actually, you can give me a D8
to a Levi Thomas, what did you get?
Did you pass that? I did not.
I got a 17-8 that's close 8. Also an 8.
Oh, wow. OK then both of you guys give me
a D4. Fuck.
I rolled the natural 20. Just give me a Med kit.
I made this stupid complicated. You two, you guys are going to
run into a bear trap. 4/4 OK, so you guys, on your second day,
you guys are. Oh, yeah.
Nate, give me a D6621. OK, I know what that is.
Correct. So day two, you guys are
obviously continuing to walk across and die in the Unfortune
undead and you guys feel like you're it's almost like a severe
depression just hitting you, all of you.
It's just like it's like your will to live, just fading
slowly. I don't feel no different.
This you notice in the in amongst the dirt, a corpse
skeleton cousin. He's holding what looks like a
Candelabra and the candles look to be bright red.
So if I rub this I get 3 wishes Candelabra.
I don't know. How that works I.
Don't think you understand. I don't think you understand
what a Candelabra is, I. Don't think you know the story,
Sir. I don't know.
Rub it. See what happens.
I'm gonna grab it, I'm gonna touch it, I'm gonna stroke it.
So what you have now is the Candelabra of blood.
It's a summon, one blood drenched skeleton per HP spent,
But you must extinguish all light sources for it to succeed.
If you spend your last HP or try to summon in the light, you
transform it to a skeleton yourself.
Oh my God. That it?
Fucking. Someone, someone is always.
Bright though, so yeah. This thing is almost useless.
That's actually there, and that was created by Rugos Cone, the
Candelab Rd. Blood.
That'll save your fucking life, Levi.
Yeah, turning you into a skeleton.
You won't be infected. That's a fair point.
Yeah, cool. Yeah.
Also amongst that that skeletons belongings you find Cedric, a
disgusting dripping blade reeking of excremented rocks.
And then and you'll be. Killing a goblin permanently
breaks the blade, but undoes the curse.
Bring the creature within, and that's the snort dagger.
That would have been useful for Brussels.
Sure would have. So you kids continue on another
day across the waists? Some of the skeleton give me
another D20, anybody. I'll do that.
What's a 13? Give me nothing.
Not the end. Anybody have infection, damage
or omens? All right, let me flip an omen.
Click. Also another one.
OK, good. Fuck.
Yes, I survived today. I used my only omen, but I
survived today. Scoots, give me that 2% as well.
I got 29, OK. I am safe for another day and
everybody give me a presents 18 again.
Are we even going the right way here?
God damn it, you guys don't even know where you're going.
You're just wandering at this point.
I can barely see through this ghost.
I'm just hanging out with my cousin, yeah.
Hey you guys, as much as I don't like the idea, I need to ask
what is it like being a skeleton?
Pretty great. You don't ain't got to worry
about a whole lot. Don't have to worry about food.
Don't have to worry about illness.
Don't have to worry about acne. I've been shitting nonstop for
days. Yeah, you don't have to poop
neither. It's pretty nice.
Yeah, I just. Rattle my waist to my teeth.
They're still jingling. You and I aren't in good shape,
friend. I'd say so.
Yeah, you're a ghost. You want to go fucking Blood
Brothers on this? Join the fucking crew.
I don't know what you mean. That do you not know what that
does? I have no idea.
Mainly because I can't remember. OK.
There's a big thing actually that you mentioned that as far
as like telling you guys what items do I, I, I I hate the idea
of doing that because it there's no way that you would know that
by getting it. But God knows I've never used
it. That's The thing is like, how do
you find out then you know? I feel.
Like it's an instruction man, you mean?
Yeah, it's just a kind of. I feel like some of us would
recognize things. But would you though, like, he's
like, he's like one in the entire world Relics.
And you're like, Oh yeah, that thing I saw it on on Antiques
Home Roadshow. No way.
No scriptures. I'm, I'm a catacomb thief.
So yeah, that's right. Well, my name is Laurel Gross.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's.
What you did. I'm a learned person.
What if I give you guys the information anyway?
Complex back story. Nailed it.
Yeah, that's, that's my boy. My boy.
God. OK.
Anyway, I. Don't wanna do that.
I don't mind being both a skeleton and a ghost.
I'll. Pull your skin off.
It's OK Ghost skeleton. Yeah, fuck yeah.
So this thing has four. How many lights are on the
Candelabra? I wanna say 3 cuz the picture
had three. Okay.
So since it's like if you try to put it out in the light is that
one candle and the other one stays, it's actually your HP
that gets drained gets spent. Okay.
So each light IS1HP. Yeah, no, that's not even.
You really need to look at it that way.
Really. It says summon one blood dress
skeleton per HP spent. That's really it.
But you must extinguish all light sources, including scoots,
for it to succeed. The bottom one, If you spend
your last HP or try to summon in the light, you transform into a
skeleton. So if he takes it and puts out
one light, no, no, no. If he takes it and he has 1HP
left and he spends that HP on this candle on all three, then
he becomes a skeleton. I'm You can ignore the the how
many candles there are. That part's irrelevant.
Come on, you can have like 15 hit points and spent 15.
You know what I mean? Yeah, and how do I light it back
up with a what match? OK.
Or I didn't know if it was like or just.
Scoot you. I didn't know if it was a one
time use kind of thing, you know it's not.
No. OK.
You want to hand it over? Are you going to do it?
You. Want to take a ride on this Pogo
stick? You go right ahead.
I I don't even understand how it is that I'm shitting blood right
now, but it's been happening for days.
Your prison pockets hanging out, that's why.
Oh, that's my real pocket. Yuck.
All right, hand that shit over. Fuck it.
I can't wait to see how this turns out.
Right. Probably not.
Great. I'm sure I'm not seeing.
One of these things. I'll fucking I'll cut my hand
and I'll fucking drip some ghost blood onto one of these lights.
That makes no sense, OK. You gotta fucking figure out how
to use it somehow. Figure out how to use it somehow
here. Let me put it out for you and I
just jab it in his neck and yeah, so you materialize.
I mean dematerialize entirely. Like he disappears.
And I'm so sorry. Seconds later, like just a few
seconds later, out from the dirt of the soil of the valley, here
skeleton comes out. What's up to the family?
Is it a real one or a phantom one?
It is a phantom one, you know, I like the idea of being a phantom
ghost. I have a phantom skeleton.
Cuz you're still trying to find. Your body, It's gotta be.
He's gotta be. You're still trying to find your
body. That was the class wise.
Though I wanna say that you're probably still a betrayed
phantom. You're just a ghost.
Or we can make one as their companion for this there.
We go the ghost skeleton, Ghost skeleton, some of the better
name for him. Yeah, Remitt's eyes kind of
bulge out a little bit farther. Well, I forgot you had those
things. I did not.
How could you? You said.
Hey, you friend. Hey, I hate.
Looking good. I kind of like this.
I push you in gold or silver maybe.
Well, I don't know how to do that, nor do I.
It happened to me. I didn't do it to myself.
Scoots, do you feel a little out of place now?
Yeah, not gonna lie a little bit.
Remember last episode when we said that your band's name is
Scoots and the Skeletons? We are one away from making that
a reality. Actually, that should just be
this episode's known. I was given to the skeletons.
If we don't call this episode Skeleton Crew, I think we're
missing a good opportunity that's kind of like that, a
little bit better, actually. Oh man, I'm cool with either
one. Skeleton Crew is a great game,
although Scoots and the Skeletons like it's so good.
Did anybody pass that presence test, by the way?
No, I. Didn't I?
Did I got a five? You did OK Give me a D8.
Then D8. All right.
Yep. Thomas, did you, I'm sorry, I
missed that. I did not.
Okay, I got A1A1. Nothing.
I stupid that like you pass this present, but it's still like a
pretty good chance that you're not gonna find anything.
Let's keep on going. Yep.
Day 4. Well, I guess bones don't shed
blood, so you're pretty lucky. Yeah.
Yeah, your infection is gone. Needless to.
Say, oh, beautiful. So day 4, you guys are getting
closer still to these mountains. And give me a D20, Thomas.
All right, you've got it yet. That's a four.
OK, good deal. Anybody have the omens or
infections total 4? I got omens back and I got all
my health back. That's actually true.
Too damage minus. I'm alive.
You're just spending it. You're gonna run, you're gonna.
I I'm gonna run the little work. Yeah, you are scoot 2%.
It'll be the day we show up. Ten.
Oh God, you think it was a one? And then everybody presents a
DR18 again. Yeah, not me.
Nope. Yay.
I'm 19. 7. I got an 18.
OK, nice D eights for both of you.
Yeah, D eights for both of you. 22 nothing.
Got a 7? OK, D10.
Bullshit. Literally 1-2 and three on that
DA table. I'll say nothing.
I got a nine A9 on the weapon or spoiled it.
It's a good thing we need. You guys need shit.
So I figured I'd give you shit. I'd given you shit.
But that doesn't help the shitting of my blood you find
just sitting amongst the middle of nowhere, scoots.
A crossbow. What's the present score?
It's +2, but my hands are on fire and I'm pretty sure the.
Crossbow's made. Of wood.
That sounds like a scoop's problem.
This crossbow is made of metal. You see that this crossbow 2
also has 12 bolts accompanying it.
Are those burn up? Don't.
Don't touch that. Don't leave it be, God damn it.
I'll take that. Well, here you go Weam it.
Yeah, that's a lot to you and I'm glad I found this for you.
This is fucking terrible. I'm getting fucking hungry and
tired and everybody's turned into skeletons and.
I mean, yeah, there's a very easy solution for that.
Yeah, it's actually pretty great to be.
Honest. You let this candle thing and
put it out. No.
Make them solve yeah cuz you do it.
I won't know. Scoots does not actually have to
spend his last HP for it, he just needs to use it in the
light he. Would be his flame skeleton
though, the thing that you use it in the daylight, I mean it
happened it wasn't the last blood drop, it was the daylight
that did it, so. No, not doing that.
I like it. Your ass.
Quit bitching. I wish you guys could hear the
middle finger he gave. I'm sorry.
So, moving on. Day five, you finally entered
the mountains of Bergencrypt snow.
Nice peaks. Nice peaks indeed.
Now it's very craggy. Lots of labyrinthine tunnels
underneath this, but you guys aren't worried about going in
there? This doesn't look familiar.
I'm not sure where exactly these you guys are going, and I'm sure
that you guys don't either. But you guys are continuing to
walk until you see something. Day 5 Give me a Day 20.
Yes, you can still join the skeletons.
We don't care about the cold. That's great too.
Yeah. Wow.
Oh my God, you are fucking kidding.
Me. I'm not touching anymore, Jake
rolled. Another misery.
Damn it, it's Jake. Give me another D60 Shakaba.
Wait. Maybe I'm going to have to join
you. 64. Gul Dawd sits up again, eyes
glowing. Now my ears.
Don't you water 2? Words What?
Are you OK? Yeah.
Well, it's not. Who are you?
I'm going to lean over to we mutt.
I don't cause I think I might have a lot to do with what's
going on around here. I stole his relic a while back
and it said something about a purse.
Don't tell anyone. That would have been something
really good to know a few days ago.
Yeah, sure. As you guys are having this
conversation too, you realize that you guys don't remember
anybody's names. Like none of you guys.
What did I call you? This is going to be very easy to
do from now on. Right though, except.
For except for like, Human Torch over here, he's going to be
like, hey, Bone Guy, and we're going to be like.
What? That's a good point.
But yeah, I just realized what I read.
And I'm like, those who walk on two legs will be as nameless as
the beast of the field. I'm like, like, you don't
generally like, have a herd of cows and know their names.
So you guys are now just a herd of dudes who don't remember each
other's names? But do you remember our own
names? Maybe.
Yeah, I mean, do we read, introduce ourselves, or do we
just not know who the fuck we are anymore?
I think we just. Roll for I think you just have
no idea who you are. Yeah, all I know is you're my
cousin, but I feel bad I forgot your name.
Don't feel bad cuz I'm right there with you cuz.
He'd like give me that infection roll.
We need to come up with designations for who we are.
Skelton A, Skelton B Skelton C No.
Don't like that. I'll be Goldie.
Oh, my God. You can go through.
Yeah, you're the You're the glass.
You're the glass one. Yeah.
Wait, you're not Glass. He's like blazing his big hands.
I'm a ghost. Slap your arm.
I'm a. Spectre alright, Phantom.
Alright, three damage. Minus.
You take one damage, actually. Dead zero, you're at.
Zero. You're broken.
Give. Me a D40, give me a D. 4.
This is this is a rough. Day you did.
I knew it would be well, cuz I was like, we can't just Fast
forward entirely. What's a two?
You have to take care of these things.
What's a two? You lose the body part.
Yeah, give me a D6 all. Right, A2.
You lose. Give me a D2.
God, here we go. Left, right.
Yeah, finger. A2.
That's your right arm bulb off. I think you're getting sicker.
Give me a default as well. That looks like a real bad day.
I don't think that's supposed to come off, buddy.
What's A1? That's how many hit points you
have now? Permanently.
No, you just have it. That's where you're currently
at. Okay, Scoots, 2%, I don't think
it's. Supposed to do that?
That's not his name. I'm gonna pick up.
I mean, yeah, Fire guy 2%. That's gonna be fun.
Yeah. For what?
The entirety of the podcast? Well, until the 7th misery
happens and resets our whole story, I.
But by the end of the podcast, thinks Jake.
Yeah, Jake's not rolling miseries again.
Maybe Jake should only roll. I was like, hey, roll Misery.
Jake's like, boom, That's good. Hey, I'm calling it.
It was a one. Oh my God.
I got a 93. OK.
And everybody D R16 presence test, because it might be easier
to find things in Bergen Krypton.
It would. No, it's a misery day.
It's a Misery Day. Thank you.
It's a misery day. No roll.
Oh no roll, seeing the only other non skeleton drop his arm.
Just fall off. I'm going to run over and grab
it and start cooking it and need it, yes.
OK Oh my God, that makes so much sense.
I have been ignoring your like need to eat.
But is he infected? That he might have to be.
He's going to have to roll. R12 the Toughness test.
This is such a fucking downfall of a session.
I don't know what you're talking.
About. I'm doing fine.
Yeah, you got upgraded. I'm doing great. 15 + 1.
OK, that's pretty good. Yep, You did not get infected.
You got nourished instead. Can I have the bones back at
least? When I'm done, fuck off.
Just don't charm. Too bad.
I don't know who any of you are. Donner part of keeping here now.
Leave Flicker alone to his meal. Yeah, yeah, we're we're gonna
start calling you One Arm. Will you touch this spot for me?
It's kind of gushing a little. Bit You're ghosty.
I don't feel bad for you at. All I got the credits for this
episode. It's gonna be like it plays
Ghosty one arm. I'm gonna be their explanations.
I said we should come up with better designations for this.
I do believe that I had a title once, but I don't know what it
is. Does it matter now?
I think it was captain something.
Maybe. Corporate is Mayor the Is he
bleeding out of where the arm came off, or did it just come
off clean? Pretty much like necrotically
like a Ken doll. You know, it rotted and fell
off. So he's got like a gross, like
lump of something left behind, but it's not bleeding.
You had whatever that maggot man had, I think.
I mean. Who's that maggot man's name
again? I don't know, Steven.
Steve, that sounds like a good name.
No, no, I feel like Paul was somebody else, maybe maybe a
Bryan Cranston. No.
Come back again. So Fisk is right-handed.
And he had the candle opera in that hand.
Who? MY1 armed man What happened to
the Candelabra when it fell in the snow?
Did you guys pick it up? I picked up his hand.
Why wouldn't you? It was or his arm?
Okay was he holding? Was he still holding it?
It was my right hand. My right hand.
Did it get put out? He's in same detail.
Why? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Ask Scoot. Ask Kevin, cuz he.
He picked up the arm. Then you get rid of that.
Actually, that's a good name. Call that guy Kevin, you.
Know I think I'm going to call you Nathan.
I don't know. Or maybe just Nate?
That one's better, Nathaniel. Maybe Mayor Nate.
Sure. I'm down.
Mayor Nate Yeah, that's what it was.
I'm going to call you mayonnaise for sure.
Mayonnaise. That's right.
Yeah, yeah, because you're white and creamy.
Give me a D20 for the six day misery.
Just a backtrack. I was more focused on eating
than noticing the candle lubber, so I did not pick it up.
So. Fair enough, I'm going to grab
it. You grabbed it with your other
OKOK that's fine. So yeah, another day goes by.
You guys doing your thing. I ain't fucking touching.
Somebody give me the misery days, not Jake D20.
I'll do it. 5. OK, you're still infected.
Here, so give me that okay. Yeah, I get your omens back
first. Get my omens.
Got a natural? Yeah, yeah, I am good.
Got a natural 20 on that fucking presence.
Okay, good scoots. Give me your 2%. 58 I'm good.
Okay anybody else make that 16 presence test.
I got a nine. Fuck.
I got a 19 + 2. Okay.
Yeah, but what? You two guys good?
No? Okay.
Hold on. Are You Bitter 20?
Yes, non natural. OK, so all four of you who've
succeeded was everybody but Jake.
Wow. Give me a D86. 55 as well. 7.
OK, Levi, give me a D 10/8, give me a D6 and Thomas and Kevin
both give me a D8. Let me know what you get 3.
I have a six. I got a 7.
I got a 7 as well. Oh, great.
Guys are cute. Yeah.
Adorable. Aren't we adorable?
OK, so you guys, as you guys are crawling through, they're
crawling, climbing through the mountains.
On day six, here you come across a a guy laying in the snow.
Not a guide, the corpse I called.
You said this before. It happened.
It happens all the time. And you see that he's got things
around him, Nate, you see that this guy's carrying a shield and
it draws your attention. Fuck yeah.
Levi. That's not my name.
Yes, it is now it. Is.
It's going on all right, One arm.
You find he's got a sword, a D6 damage.
Cool. Thomas and Kevin, you guys both
go rummaging through. Stuff and you guys both find a
medicine box. Ohh.
Fucking egg. Yes, I plant, I planted them in
here so that you guys would have a 6.25% chance of getting and
you did, yeah. And I'm gonna hide mine.
Ohh yeah just. Scoop.
Put it in your rib cage that show his name.
Kevin Flame on What? What?
Kevin. Yeah, Kevin.
My name is Kevin now. Thank you.
Kevin, before you touch that, I'll trade you this sword for
it. He's up to something.
I'll. Trade it with.
You OK? I'm not mad at this, but.
I want a little hit of that. I'm not.
Mad. You know what?
I just need a little hit of it and then I'll keep it on me and
you let me know when you want to hit yourself.
Do I have your word? Fingers crossed.
That no, That means no firm, firm handshake.
OK, and I'm going to burn your bones.
Well, you're not. I spit on my hand and I touch
it. OK, well, bump elbows.
All right, so I will trade the Med box for a sword.
D6 Sword. D6 sword all right?
As you as soon as you grab it by the handle, you just burn the
leather off of the right just metal Tang.
Does it do the same effect as the crowbar does?
Does it get the +2 and then have the?
The one D ten chance of igniting and or breaking?
Or is it just strictly for that crowbar?
I kind of like the idea of any weapon that you use does.
OK. Well, you came with the crowbar,
so I feel like I'm gonna say no, just to make that crowbar that
much more special. You.
No, that's fine. I'm just making sure.
And the medicine box is exactly what it sounds like, stops
bleeding infection and plus D6HP presence plus 4 uses.
Since this one that you traded has not been opened yet, we're
going to be going off of Levi's presence.
OK, that's plus one. So he has five uses then?
3 uses. 3 uses. It's a D4 plus one, isn't it?
No, it's just presence plus. Sweet 5 uses I.
Believe. It's presence plus 4 uses, Yeah,
I. Believe it was like 4 to D.
Four hey. Hey, hey, hey, I'm kidding,
kidding. Podcast.
No, this is the right podcast. OK, yeah, so 3 uses on your left
then. It feels pretty good.
What is the D6 to heal? Yep, Yep.
And it gives you D6 to each. Nice.
I'm back to full health. So nobody's infected anymore?
That's fantastic. It's a little late for you, but
you know you probably want to die.
Like that, I'm fine. I feel pretty.
Good. I'm cool.
I'm I still have both my arms. That's true.
My blood's not dried up a little bit, so that's a good time.
Day 7 He's part of the Cool Kids club now, so.
Day seven, you guys continue walking through the mountains.
Somebody give me a D20. You want me to do it?
Nope. Nope.
Like fishing for that response. There, I like it 4.
Four. OK, good.
Nobody's Infected, Scoots 2% two.
Percent 95. 95 Perfect. Did you did you ration any of
that? Don't worry about that
president's test, because as you guys are walking, you guys come
across what looks like you're not too sure if he's old or what
he is, but you see a a person in a in a cloak, crouched down by
what looks like a fire pit, and he's cursing to himself.
God damn it, it can't get this fucking thing.
Little lead closer to Kevin. Just be like this is the guy we
left in a dungeon. I'm kicking him into the fire.
I don't blame you. I mean, I could take it into
that heat. He looks at you guys a little
cold. You're expecting somebody,
right? You're clearly expecting
somebody. What you see is not that guy.
You see the the Inuk has his name.
Inuk, by the way, that you guys, you know, can't remember names.
No, he was, Yeah. Very dead, very rotten,
scraggly, very frail. This guy looks a hell of a lot
younger. Long beard, still old, but he's
a old man with a big beard. Looks like he could be the same
guy, but even not sure if he is or not.
Hey, Beardo. Cool there.
Quite well. I mean, it was.
How'd you even know? Yeah, fuck if I care.
No, I'm actually doing pretty good.
What are you doing out here? Oh, just trying to leave my
pipe. I will extend.
My pink, my index finger and light the pipe for him.
Oh, much obliged. What's your name?
Hold on, he takes a big hit of this thing and he's like.
That's the good stuff. What was the question holding my
name? Oh, I have no idea.
Oh, OK. I.
Feel like I knew it at one point?
What's yours? They keep calling me Kevin.
Oh, hi, Kevin. I don't remember my name.
Yeah, no. Yeah.
It's funny. You must have Alzheimer's too.
I don't remember getting Alzheimer's.
Don't be neither. OK, anyways, what are you doing
out here? Oh, just just hanging out.
Mostly just chilling. See what you did there?
It's cold and snowing, OK? No, there's a.
There's actually an ancient path about that way.
He points in a direction, it doesn't matter what direction.
But I come to the flesh of the mountains leading through agony
and ice, to a place called. He looks around everybody.
Make sure no one else is around. Dunkirk.
Why did you get all weird when you said it I?
Don't want anyone to hear me, I. Mean we all heard you.
Well, I didn't decide the your present company.
I look around. Yeah.
Yeah, right. Yeah, there.
Could be anybody. I need 2D sixes.
I'll roll one. Make sure the different results
if somebody rolls one. Two.
I'll roll 1/2. Six, OK.
You know there's a the priestess of a nearby church following the
twin passes she. Looking for the The Pasil is
undead, begotten, and you know the fools who came before you.
They will prey upon you. And good luck.
There's not much to prey upon anymore.
Yeah, no, that's fair. Unless they like eating bone
ghost bone. I got a ghost bone.
We're. Hardened adventurers now.
Well cool. I'm going to look at Lefty and.
That's you by the way, Levi. I like that.
That's way. Better Lefty.
Oh, that is good. And be like.
Skins. They prey upon us.
Well, I mean, yeah, cool. This is great.
Glad we broke out of prison for this.
I mean. Broke out of prison?
What do you mean? Freedom's good, yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Fair enough. We're.
In fucking something or another. Can't remember this fucking
name. Big ass prison.
Yeah, that was it. Cool.
Was that the Duke's name? Maybe.
Yeah, Duke Shockshank. Duke Shockshank I.
Don't know. I don't know who you're talking
about. Regardless where you're going,
is this somewhere past the Bergen crypt?
Is that what you're saying? That's where we are right now,
right? Exactly.
We should find a guy beyond here once it.
Happens happens everywhere I. Don't remember his name either.
Sounds like a complex back story, Quiet.
Yeah. You're doubling up.
Oh, can I get a heat off that pop real quick before we take
off? Yeah, why don't we just take a
little break here? Fucking back the flails of the
face. Now, Levi, I mean lefty, lefty,
lefty Lopez. Who?
You know the L from TLC. Not me.
That's not me. You take a hit off this guy's
pipe and it's. This is some powerful oh boy.
Just hair, mostly. I taste it.
My favorite mix? And as you sail this, you, you
feel like a tingling in your right shoulder socket and you
see like bones emerging from it converging to the point of
another skeletal arm, a full skeletal arm.
And then you feel the flesh to start wrapping around it and
just filling in the the rest of that arm.
And it's, but it's got a color to it that's just not normal.
Yeah, I'm not hitting that. Like that?
Thanks. It's like a gun metal color.
It's kind of cool looking. Anybody else want some of this
shit? Never.
Will. Do.
Yeah. No, all good.
I've had a couple of miserable days.
Maybe I'll take a bump off that. Thank you kindly.
Not gonna cause another one, are you?
No, I hope not. Here you go then.
All right. Thanks.
How do you inhale? I just want the wind blow it
down my rib cage. I really feel like you're
wasting mustache here, guys. So I'm gonna take that back and
wish you guys good luck. Yeah, we're probably gonna need
it. Thanks.
Yeah, yeah, right on that road there.
About a day's travel. You'll find the big.
You'll know when you see. It how much for a little sack of
that stuff I could use a little bit more later on.
But then, pubes it was. How'd you know?
It wasn't little pubes. You just said it was hair.
Yeah, but I didn't say from where it.
Died today. Looked curly.
It probably it's the smell that kind of tips you off.
I'm a Connor Sewer of armpit hair of.
Yeah, it's just body hair. But I don't mind.
It so. That's.
So you said. That way, Bye bye.
Hey. And and as you guys are walking
away. Hey, we meant.
What the fuck? Who's that?
You that we meant? He points to We meant,
obviously. What come?
Here. Yeah, yeah, you that was.
That's that's your name. Walk over.
How do you know his name? You like puts his back to you
that? Was fucking rude.
Glad to see you made it out all. Right.
Do. Do I even know you?
I guess not. Anyway, have fun.
Hey, Cedric. What?
Just fuck you, that's all. I just.
I just know he was looking at me.
Yup. And then he goes.
He just starts like tracking his way down the mountain real
slowly. You're a strange old man.
Yeah, this guy's kind of a rude Dick, so I'm going to turn and
shoot him past no. No.
OK, Yeah, go ahead. Give me a presence test.
That's 18. 18 So the bolt, you lose a bolt at it right to his
back, and you see like it grabs the cloak and pulls it out as if
like, and then. It pulls off of him as it does
this, as if he's not even there. Like it's a magician.
Okay. That's son of a bitch.
And you just hear on the wind. Wow, Cedric does sound familiar.
Maybe that's my name, no. I'm Cedric.
That's right, you are Cedric, he pointed.
Yeah, I'm Cedric. Now he pointed through.
You. Yeah, he don't like you.
Well, I guess we're both Cedric, because I like him too.
OK, Brad, let's go. I'll be right.
I'll go with Weeman. That's what he called me.
You can be messed up. I see him.
I'm stabbing him. OK, I just want to know how he
did that trick and I start walking to follow up behind
Kevin. All right, Kevin, lead the way.
You're the lighting. A dark, dark day.
All right. Well, let's go, Weeman.
Really. That's your name.
That's weird, right? Yeah, very.
Weird. It's not very good, but I wasn't
going to say nothing. Better than nothing.
Yeah, my name's Lefty. It's been.
Even though you have two arms again, well you know on the
right side and like the right one is the notable one too.
I lost my right arm and I got a right arm, yeah.
He was trying to flip to get double s.
I wanted double s. That would have been fun.
I think it's hilarious that you call him lefty, but his right
arm is his notable one. Yeah, right.
So you guys walk for a good part of the day through the mountains
down this trail that he told you to go on, and the trail is
relatively defined. You know, it's kind of just a
Canyon that you guys are walking to, kind of labyrinthine
Serpentine and eventually when it gets to be about sundown.
You come to something cut into the stone, which looks to be an
image of she A2 headed basilisk, as big as a house that's
beautiful. 2 heads protrude showing no signs of the agony of
centuries. The claws pulled a large stone
door covered with ancient symbols.
Is that the thing? He said we'd know.
I I'm going to suggest that the two catacomb Saints can still
read and it due to the religious background, yeah.
That's you what? That makes a lot of sense to me.
Maybe my name's St. I'm fine with that.
You don't really like the Saint to me.
I feel like 1. Knocking about, you see the bone
structure here? Yeah, check out the shield I
got. Look at those, saintly I.
Mean. Look at those anal beads.
Those are pretty potent. Rattle.
I don't know. Any Saints that use anal beads?
I mean, I don't know any that don't.
I think they call them prayer beads.
Yeah, that's what they call. People, but you can pray however
you want. Yeah, right.
Yeah, try and. Praynel beads, if you will.
Praynel beads. Praynel beads.
Yes, I'm. I'm a I'm a catacomb thief.
That's my back story thing going on.
I'm gonna go up and check the store for traps.
Complex. Same ring.
As he's doing that, I'm gonna look at the player formerly
known as Cedric's. Like can you still look through
stone? I'm sure I can.
That was days ago. I mean, roll forward found out,
yeah, doesn't the. Answer We'll see.
I can't remember what the numbers.
Even we've it's gonna like, try and translate any of the
writing. So you see as you're looking out
this, this. These ancient symbols that it
talks heavily about two headed basilisk.
It talks about she a lot. It mentions her almost like
unnecessarily. Too much like it's not using
pronouns, it's just using she, which may be the pronoun it's
using, to be honest. I think she prefers of a who.
Knows. But this this is written like
some like kids letter to his crush.
It also mentions something about children of she.
I don't like that. It seems very vague though.
It also tells you how to open the damn door and it which is
helpful. It mentions that any appropriate
spell, prayer or chant will cause the gate to open and
you're like that's pretty vague. That's.
Tiny, vague. I'm gonna see what my cousin
comes up with. Not sure.
We're just kind of looking around this door myself.
What do I notice? Do I notice anything out of?
The same thing you read. You can read this as well, OK?
And it doesn't look like there's any handles to open this thing
or anything. Can I maybe use this shield to
fucking? Is there an inscription on my
shield that maybe allows me to get into these places?
Sure. How are you attempting to go
about that? I'm going to take my shield and
press it to the right in this dead center of the door well.
Like you're gonna slip it in like a credit card.
No, you're just pressing it, like pressing the face of the
shield towards the door. Yeah, okay.
So you do that, and then you see that your shield starts to glow,
and you see the crack between the two doors glow as well and
they start grinding open. I'm gonna turn around.
Didn't expect that to work, to be honest.
I. Didn't either.
Good job. Yeah.
Wish I could read. Out of transparency, it says.
The door will open to any appropriate spell per chant,
right? Right.
What I was planning is as soon as you guys are like, fuck, it
was like, I think they did that when they put that in there,
they did it to like, it's incredibly loose.
Figure out the right moment that someone said something that's
coming up, right? So yeah.
And then as the doors open, you see down beyond it darkness.
But you see stairs going down descending, and you see a
flickering of torch light from down beyond that.
I'll lead the charge down the stairs and grab the torch.
You so you guys come down this down these stairs and you see
that the large the room in front of you is, is damn big.
It's like a good 40 feet by like 100 and some feet it's pretty
big. You see that there are tar
puddles in the corners of in some spots in this room, and the
room smells as like a sweet rotten odor, like like rotting
fruit, like like someone's got some mangoes in here and they
are bad. That's good.
It kind of probably does to a point.
You know it's running. Fruit doesn't smell terrible.
It's not great. We don't need to breathe.
That's true big facts. Then this walls.
So the room is lit by torches. On the walls in the center of
this room you see a big statue standing on a broken base in the
middle of it. It looks rickety priest like
figure eyes of Amethyst. A cult writings on his face,
holding a spiked flail with intricate designs.
In his hand, other hand, a heart also of note throughout this
entire room, going from left to right as you guys look at the
room, a large like not trough, but like a big swath cut through
the room. And as you see on each side of
that swath, giant hole in the side in the walls of this room
as well, like something just plowed through it.
Well, I'm a thief. And you had me at giant amethyst
eyes, so. Much, yeah.
That's that's where I had. It's very Tomb Raidery, yeah.
You also see as you get was you as as a Jake or whatever your
name is at the moment, St. Rick.
OK, I won't remember that. St.
Rick, as you walk to this thing, you see that there is a door
doorway on the far end of this room with two guards standing
alongside it, one carrying a spear and the other carrying a
halberd. Also, to the left of those guys,
a doorway in the left wall. These guys notice me.
They're watching you. Yeah.
They see you walking. They don't.
They don't seem to be moving at all.
They're just standing there doing whatever.
I just keep pace and I wave at them.
Hello boys and I just walk up to the statue and I start climbing
up to the face. You get a just a like a light
salute from one of them. You're walking, you're climbing
up this thing, yeah. You can.
This is how we ended up in jail. He just kind of blamely did this
shit mayonnaise. I step out of you.
Probably, yeah. I thought we weren't doing that
no more. Well, I'd be mad if I could do a
thing, and I do what I mean. I have.
To test it by my prison pocket, too.
Well, I definitely wasn't going to take a chance with the
flaming dude and then look at the rest of us, too.
Shaking. Yeah, that's what I thought.
I feel like at this point, since you're a like a ghost skeleton,
you can easily just go into the skeletons.
Hey, it's got thicker bones. I feel like if you did
beforehand, before you were a skeletal ghost, just a ghost, it
would look like you're this, like this ectoplasm.
Yeah, right. Skeleton, like you're a mold.
Like they're just like the. Stink lines.
Stink lines? Does that mean I don't want to
know? Anything for him?
So how so you climb up this thing?
His statue, how are you getting these?
And you see the amethysts, are they're in there?
I'm paying attention to the rickety portion of that
description. And yeah, and he's moving a bit.
Away from. This smart as he's climbing this
too I guess he was climbing up but you see that this thing is
kind of just like leaning this holding a flail and it's got a
heart and it's kind of just like rickety as it as you're
climbing. I'm going to at the top I'm.
Going to go to, I'm sorry, I was going to go to the base of it
and see if I can kind of like steady it a little bit.
As you do, hold on, cuz hold on and I'm gonna start rocking on
the I'm gonna hold the top of the head and then start rocking
back and forth and crash this thing to the ground.
I don't think that's a good idea.
OK, well. His his fucking funeral.
So yeah, you you do that. You're rocking this thing and
yeah, you feel this thing all of a sudden, just like it's rocking
back and forth, and then all of a sudden it's just rocking back
and give me a toughness test. Oh shit.
I'm not. R12 good at that.
Actually I you reduce. Was it Omen?
Yeah. So I'm 13.
Smart. Smart.
OK, so yeah, you this thing collapses and you hop out of the
way quickly as this thing crushes would have crushed you
and it just shatters into pieces.
And as it does, you feel this strong tremor throughout this
entire room. What the hell?
That's not good. Suspect was happier than I
thought. This is.
Why I? Leaves you alone most of the
time. That tremoring grows as you guys
stand here and you see coming from one of the walls or the big
hole in the wall like the dugout hole, the giant worm like the
size of the hole and this thing is humongous.
Ohh this is where I die. Yeah and it it's it's toothy.
It almost reminds like think of like this I allude you know from
Dune like think that and it it oops its way around the like the
the far end of the room at this point blocking the entrance and
it just insert hisses and teeth grinding.
Spinning like a. Processor I turned to.
The guards is. This normal?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a I mean, you stay.
He stays over there. He's afraid of the tar.
That's good to know. Very good.
But those amethysts, he's he's been thirsting for those.
I'm going to take one of them and Chuck it back into the hole
that he came from. Oh, back down his yeah thing and
then pocket the other one. Right.
Yes, and he done as you. Do that.
Watch this hand. Kind of thing, yeah.
Yeah, it double s back and just falls back down the hole and
disappears back into it. Yeah, I clasped my hands
together and rub them and they make weird bone sounds I guess.
Yeah, sounds like you're clapping.
I want to say too that the hole that that thing came from the
tunnel or whatever is, is a pie about a two-story tunnel.
Holy fuck. It's a that Worm was about.
Yeah, it was fucking so like from SpongeBob.
An Alaskan bowl war. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Alaskan. Pretty close.
Oh no. What about this heart and flail?
Was that just part of the statue?
Yeah, they they shattered when the skeleton when the thing fell
too. Nothing inside the statue.
Nope, no other goodies, OK? And the and these other guards
just watched us smash the statue, and they're just like.
You're you're OK with that? What he just did?
Cool. I.
Mean. I mean, alright.
What's fine? The door.
Yeah, What are you guys guarding?
Oh well, you guys are here to kill the Wormlord, right?
What? Sure.
Wait, what? What?
The thing guys, No. No, that's a mall worm.
He's a friend of the worm Lord or something.
I don't. We were looking for a place
called like Doom Kirk or something.
Oh yeah, yeah, you're in the right place, Doom.
Kirk. What?
I don't know. And that's what I thought I
heard. Doom Kirk.
OK, I was. I was thinking of a completely
different kind of thing. No, he actually thought it's a
doom cock. So.
We're not too far. Off the other guard, The other
guard just kind of hangs his head.
Is this being ridiculed? Yeah.
He's bitch. We're in Doomkirk and there's a
a worm Lord, you said. Yeah, I start down down below.
And he points these thumbs to the doorway that they were
blocking. Is he also a fan of these rocks?
I have no idea. Maybe who isn't really.
And they'll look pretty dope. I know right is.
He as big as that other one. No, he's like a dude.
Oh. Oh my.
Oh, I was thinking another worm. What is it?
Why are you guarding the door then?
I was just. Making sure he doesn't come out,
just yeah, you want to take along and help us?
No. Yeah, I wouldn't either.
I get that. I don't blame him.
Well, yeah. You guys had you guys are
looking for the warm Lord. You just head down here and once
you've crossed the trench that this thing makes the points
gestures So that the trench we're calling it now that the
ball were made. Pass that twice.
You pass it three times. You've gone too far.
Turn back around, you'll find them.
Mayonnaise keep them over here for a second.
His. Name is mayonnaise.
Let's cover the nerd name pheasant.
I mean, what was your name again?
They don't remember names anymore.
Just been calling him pheasant from this point on.
Yeah, since then I just felt right for.
Him can Can you possess people? You take over their bodies.
Oh no. I wish I could, really.
I mean you try if you're. Going to do it, Do it to him.
I mean, I'm whispering his ear. How are you hearing me?
Right here? We can all hear you.
Right here, 4 inches away from it, yeah.
So you really don't have an inside voice.
It's very loud no matter what you say.
Well, fuck me rather. Not, no.
This person pockets off. Have you ever felt like I could
take over your body? I.
Mean. You've been in them quite often
so. I don't see why that's urgence,
but I don't know. God.
Don't worry, it's all right. They've been together since
prison. Yeah.
True. He even.
Stabbed me in the back, so it's really sweet.
No, I I hammered. You in the face.
Oh, that's right. I.
Gave you I gave you the fucking. Oh yeah.
I'm just going to open the door and quietly walk through it.
I'm going to follow. Yeah, you guys.
Probably call. Your friends too, I mean.
I'm going to try and like, walk into this pheasant guy.
Yeah, try. Just just that.
Give me a second. I probably can't do what he's
talking about doing. Just standing.
There, all right. I just.
I walk into him and I try to try to manipulate his body.
Just like I see why you like this.
Oh man, I never said I liked it. I never said that.
I've never had anybody say they didn't like me inside them.
Oh. My stairs.
Fuck you, Just leave his body again.
Yeah. Yeah.
OK, so you guys carry on down these stairs and it opens up to
a. Gigantic, dark room with a high,
echoing ceiling. It smells like like an old bag
of kitchen towels that needs to be changed, and they need to be
changed for weeks. It's just musty and just dank
cousin. It's like Grandma's place.
Yeah, kind of reminds me of black licorice.
Black licorice. Delicious.
Oh, you guys are. Oh wait, who am I?
Or whatever, Goldie. Goldie Oh yeah, Black liquid is
detestable. No one asked you.
Goldie. That's fair.
Then you see that in this room
too, The whole far wall or the northern wall.
You guys came from the South. I'll keep giving you those
headings because it does help, I think.
I hope the entire N wall is scrawled in.
Unfamiliar Misery 4 Into the calendar of Neck Rebelle.
And then you notice especially and and St.
Rick. St.
Rick. There it is.
In this episode we all just changed names.
It got real dumb. Mine only change, mine only
changed my title and got rid of my.
He's been calling you mainly. Yeah, he has, you notice as
you're reading these. That all of the miseries, or
both of the miseries that have come to pass are both scrawled
in here as well, amongst a bunch of other things.
Like let's assume then being a Catacomb St. that you are
familiar with the calendar, you're familiar with what's
written on it, and a lot of these are unfamiliar, except
those two which you know. Now, perhaps that that might be
why you don't remember your names.
I do remember saying something about knowing Anook and his name
when we first started this. Yep, Yep.
And you? That's a good point.
So you probably wouldn't be familiar with this as well.
Who now? Yeah, now you don't even know
who that is. I do.
I did know a guy who wrote some shit before.
I mean not personally, but knew of him.
Also, this ceiling is so high in this room that it's disappears
Into Darkness, but there is a small flickering candle light
kind of descending from a balcony above.
Hello. Hello.
You really want to be yelling in here?
Yelling in here. Also, this room is filled with
crowded tables and chairs, most brittle and broken, but there is
a table in the corner that looks brand new.
You see that there are three skeletons sitting there
unmoving, one chair completely empty, and four hands of cards
dealt around the table. Three of them, obviously in
front of those two skeletons, and the other fourth hand dealt
to the open. And I'll fucking sit down.
And we've it's going to like run in like.
Get in front of him, like, toss him to the side and sit at the
table. Agility test just to make.
That's it. Higher agility test wins.
Yep, he rolled A20 on his dice. Oh geez, I got a nine.
So yeah, so you try to do that. He just he just plants himself
in that chair. But before you get dancing, you.
Do this at every family gathering.
What? You got to be quicker.
You know how it works. Look, just pull one of these.
What are these fools out there? This guy doesn't even have any
chips set out. So as you sit down too and you
gotta say your thing, you know, all three skeletons animate and
give me a presence test. Oh boy.
BR16. I think you're bad at presents.
Anybody in this game good at anything?
I got a + 1. That's not good.
Slightly better. Yeah, it's like the better than
terrible. I'm gonna, I'm gonna open up 12.
OK, the skeleton. So you play a hand around the
cards and it's hard to say exactly what game you're even
playing cuz it seems like what they're doing doesn't really
make any sense with any game. Could be goldfish poker black?
It seems like it's a combination of all of these things.
It doesn't seem to have any rhyme or reason, but you see, at
one point they all just start laughing soundlessly, Like
they're physically laughing, but they're not making any noise.
I mimicked them. Really, that's great.
And they like they, one of them just reaches out to all the
cards and pulls them in as if there are chips, but it's just
the cards he's doing too. So as they laugh, they're like,
there's our patenting on the back and stuff too.
And they they all just gear up. They pull bags out from under
their seats and put them on and they just get up.
And then they're like, why are we counting?
Why are we counting all three of them?
But which is like we're we're going to talk to the worm Lord,
you know where he's at. Yeah, you want to bring us
there? Bring us there.
Maybe. I mean, I can bring you there.
You don't have to come in. Just bring us there.
That deal there, right? What's your name there, cuz?
Yeah, me neither. Yeah, me neither.
They even call me Saint Rick though.
Saint Rick. Though these guys oh wow.
That's that. There's Lefty.
I think that's mayor. Mayor.
Mayor Cedric, it's right there's Kevin.
This is my cousin. It's weird, I heard someone
whisper we mutt earlier, but I don't think that's his fucking
name. This Goldie, This Goldie.
I'm not. He's McCabe, kind of you.
You know, I was really like against having so many skeletons
around now, but maybe it's like this, it's like this, It's
really inclusive. I'm kind of I'm tempted to put
this candle out to be on this, but I got this cool black arm
now kind of shiny. Yeah, that's up to you.
That's up to. You kind of sickly, if you ask
me, Ask me, ask me. And is there anything going on
in the balcony? There's just the light from
above. Currently, nothing else is
receivable beautiful. Game where you playing, where
you playing it's called it's called 10 bones.
Oh, oh, oh, Mercedes. Yeah, it's a it's a skeleton
thing. Skeleton.
Yeah, you'd have to be a skeleton.
You know you can. I know what can.
I know what? We kill you, right?
Here I was going to say I was trying.
To skeleton scoop. Yeah, I'll tell you right now
though. Hey, just just you were skeleton
at the ghost. Yeah, that happened.
I skeleton fuck a ghost. And then you were born.
Then you were. Born, you could say that.
You could say. That no.
But I that doesn't kind of make sense, though it doesn't.
It's the 1st place I'm going to. It was a ghost 1st and then I
became a skeleton after skeleton after.
Wait, so you like wait, so you, like, played as a ghost?
Sort of, yeah. It's a complex back story as you
guys are making a lot of noise down here.
Just the idle chitchat and eventually all these voices
gonna rise. You see in amongst this glow of
light from the balcony a figure kind of eclipse it and give me a
D4, Anybody. I'll do it 33 and you see these
masses about the size of A. Not really sure about the size
of a. Dishwasher horse God, a lot of
horses. A small bear, a bear cub.
Anyway, so these three masses come flying down with this slap
and they land on the ground and you see these?
Oh God, they're like weird 2 headed rotten infant cursed
miserable basilisks. You and they all.
I'm averting my eyes. See.
Yeah, she looks up. Yeah, not that kind of thing.
They all stick their head up at you and just all at once.
And you hear a voice from above. Does that look infected?
Infected. Oh, you said above.
Hey everybody, Kevin at the end of the episode to let you know
that this episode featured the adventure Doomkirk by Gutero,
which appears in Monolith issue #1 entitled Harvest by our good
friends at Bogfolk. Evie played the cannibal cook by
none other than the cannibal curator of Ex Libris Morkborg,
Ian Law Thomas played the catacomb St. by Mccute.
Kevin played the Sports Bedlamite by Full Frontal, Phil
Jensen and Ian tortured Daddy Servas.
Jake played only one character in this episode, and that
character was the Catacomb Saints still by Mecudi, and Nate
played the betrayed phantom by Sasha Death of the Eldridge
tomb. This episode also featured The
Candelabra of Blood by the venerable Carrot himself, Brew
Goes Comb. The process for traversing the
Valley of the Unfortunate Dead was written by our GM Cannibal
Chris, and is released as this episode's companion, Crossing
the Valley. Links to all this fantastic
third party work for content can be found in the description
accompanying this episode. You can find us on Amazon Music,
Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, iHeartRadio, and anywhere else
you can find any of your podcasts.
You could also find us on our socials, Facebook, Twitter or
whatever Twitter is now Instagram.
Feel free to reach out to us and help grow this podcast.
Thanks for listening. And we'll catch you guys next
time, all right? She's falling apart, Captain.
The future launches on fire. Jesus.
Abort mission, abort body, abort body.
That's not the phrase. Abort body.
Oh man, are you pretty much playing that character now?
Kind of, yeah. Holy shit, no.
No. Oh no.
Levi there's towels hanging up. Just grab one of the three on
the right. Well that sucked.
It also looked really cool, but mostly.
Sucked. Is that the first misery?
Yeah, it all makes sense. First misery on my floor.
Apologies, leli that's. That's drinking foam.
Well, that was your beer. I'm sorry, Nate.
No, that's fine. There's another one.
I'm OK. And in 10 days and one of the
Wait, Hold on. Start over dude.
Dude. Dude.
Let me take a picture of that
quick dude, dude. Continuing.
Across and I leaked. I got all my scallions and meat
the bone boys. Yeah, the boners.
The boners. Yeah, boner.
Club the Boner. Yeah, welcome to the Boner.
Club the boner, boys the. Boner boys.
The Bones Brigade Wait, no. So that's already taken.
That's a skate group? Yeah, it is.
Worst comes the worst. I might join them.
Just saying licorice. Girl, you guys want?
Oh, go ahead. Finish your goddamn black
licorice. God, I don't really care about
that whole black. Licorice.
We were just shaming the shit out of Kevin for the black
licorice. Thing No, I was on Kevin's side.
I just never got around to commenting on it.
What are those black licorices called?
He didn't need any other support on that one.
Snaps the little fucking little black licorice with the candy
shell on them. Oh, I hate those things.
Those are the. Biggest garbage?
Yeah, no, those are like they're good.
Those are like the false advertisement.
Candy. You're like, yeah, oh look,
looks like candy. And then you're like, oh God,
tastes like ass. Boner boys for leg, Boner boys
for leg. I'll get that tattooed.
Or nay or nay do not. Who can breed?
Breed. I was going to say not, not many
of us now. I mean, I'm good down here. 6
people and only two pieces and all nails.
Why do you smell like sweat and shame me?
No. Holy fuck.