Greetings Skype and welcome to Flail.
In the face. Excuse me, I had a little
something in my throat. Hey, it's me, Walt.
Back again on Flail. You may Remember Me as Grin or
as Grin. And tonight we're going to wrap
up the dust funnel. Yeah, I'm dying here.
Somebody saved me. Left his lock.
Hello, hi I'm Levi. I am returning as my character
Sasha. And it is stand.
No, it's not. I was waiting for it.
This is Thomas. I'll be playing Quill Knock.
Hi, I'm Kevin. I'm playing Tommy.
OK, now it is Vince turn. Sorry about that.
Yes. And I'm Nate and I play Screech.
Let's flail this whale. Yeah, baby.
So at the end of the last episode, everybody was cupped in
the hands of this giant iron God at the bottom of the dusk
funnel. And Agency is a little fuzzy
here, but he got hit in the face with a bomb that was lit by
Sasha and potentially thrown by Spend.
And pretty much you guys rolled A1 on your reaction.
Roll on that one big guys. Not happy.
I didn't do it. It's all your fucking fault.
Yeah, it's not my fault. It is your fault.
Kind of. I didn't get cursed on purpose.
How high up are we in the in these hands?
Technically we're. Low, if you think about it.
But we're also I got. 2 answers right there.
Yeah, you're you're far below the ground, but you're high
above. Right in the middle.
Out of the underground. OK, all right, we'll change my
mind. We're in about the middle.
Height. OK, great.
You've got a long way to fall if this guy drops you or if you
jump you. Know hell Hell's under us.
You know. Is this guy wearing any clothes?
Nope. Yeah, but he's also made of some
jinko iron, possibly molten. Oh yeah, OK, I don't want to
touch him then I OK shit. Do we have to roll for
initiative now? He has not been prompted.
Sure, what the hell? No.
Why ask that question? Because I figured that this is
where it was going. Trying to find a way out.
I was going to give you guys a minute, but hey, we can jump
into that if you want. No.
All right, roll it, Nathaniel. Fucking I, I can, I, we can, we
can sit here and make decisions. Nope.
That's not what we do here. All.
Right fucking I'll roll it. It's him.
God damn. So yeah, the big guy just roars
and anger at having been hit in the face by a bomb.
And he was holding you both in both hands or you all in both
hands, wasn't he has? Kept in both hands while it was
cooling with water. He kind of tilt his hand so you
all kind of spill into one hand so he can raise the other and
kind of want to call for some kind of test to see who gets
washed out of the one hand. Oh.
You know, like an. Agility test which?
Hand is where? He's spilling you all into the
left hand. Oh, so it's just all of us.
Well, you're all in his cupped hands.
He's kind of tilting at sea. All agility 1, sure.
Is that what his? Fuck.
Oh, Dean, baby. I'm terrified it's going to be
bad. Yeah.
It's so bad, yeah. I got A7.
I got an 8. I got 12. +2 is 6.
What? Yay addition.
The perfect two to make it I. Did.
Spins always survives. Christ, the instigators.
Yeah, he he tilts his hands and there's this rush of water in
One Direction and spins and Sasha get caught on the rebound
and screech and Quillnock and Tommy go spilling over the edge
and down. Son of A.
Bitch, bitch. Motherfucker.
Fucker. This could not be how this ends.
I told you ought to stay away from me.
You deserve everything you're getting you.
Fucking did this song, what happens to them?
Yeah, good question. He raises his other fist up in
the air and brings it down to kind of smash you between fist
and palm. Give me defense.
Wait. It's ADR 10.
Four. I got a four.
OK, that's a four. That's probably good.
I want to use an omen to reduce. I got an 8 and I don't want to
die here. Do you have any armor?
No. OK, all right.
Well, that gives me a 12. It's only DR10.
Yep, just worried about my baby girl Sasha.
I got a four so. Yeah, so Levi take D8 damage.
Oh, that's eight damage. Oh my.
God. 3. You're.
Good. So damn as the fist as the fist
comes down spins like kind of rolls and tucks himself in like
the little crack between two fingers, and Sasha takes the
brunt of the blow. Bro what the fuck?
Oh get in home. Best way to hide.
I promise you it's coming quick and I just lay down real quick.
Just fall. It just fall.
It wasn't my fault he hit it towards you.
I was trying to kill them. But no, please Finn not he not
mean nothing by it. It's everyone's turn now.
I would like to burn my flesh. I would like to spend the power
to transform. Into what?
The Sun, Oh. You're not you're.
Doing Sun sun sun. Yes, the Sun the.
Sun, the sun. I knew that he had it.
I have it. Yeah, you had it ready today.
All creatures in 10 feet are scorched by my Stellar Fury and
take 2D10 damage. Mortar flesh is.
Not meant. To contain such a such a power,
so afterwards I may not wear armor and my HP is half.
I'm in a crevice. I approach the bench.
I'm the crevice. I'm in like the finger finger
crevice right? And I rolled away.
You said it with your own 2 lips.
Can I? Can I at least be out of the
range of death? Please I think this is a roll
off. I think it is.
The rest of us win either way. Normally it's automatic damage,
right Levi? I think it's just.
Automatic damage people within 10 feet.
I rolled away. But you're still within 10 feet
and this guy is made of metal. I'll give you another defence
roll. OK, I'll take.
ADR 12 this time. I got a 14.
So, so my my fiery body doesn't do anything to the scorched
hand. No, no, that was just Jake
getting out of the way. Go ahead and rule your damage
against this guy. To.
Survive a day again. Oh, 19.
Holy shit. Jesus.
Does. That kill him.
Doubt it. No.
Describe what this looks like as you do this.
So after being smushed by the hand, I, I kind of stand up and
I, I turn into this bright light and I kind of melt myself into
his hand a little bit. So I have like a little molten
crater underneath me. Like a little planter, Mort.
Sure. You, you don't know your own
strength, apparently, Sasha, because you just melt his hand
like the whole thing just. For fuck sake.
What 19? God damn.
Damage, so the hand liquefies. Oh shit, yeah.
What happens to my where I'm standing?
Yeah, what about? Spend the both of you fall.
No, we cut to screech, Quill, Knock, and Tommy as you hit the
water. OK, do we need to make it a
fucking roll or? No, because canonically from the
last couple episodes when you fall in water it does no damage.
Yes. Awesome.
Yes, it's from fucking Tears of the Kingdom mechanics.
Perfect. Nice.
So then like looking around is like this giant's feat like near
us or? Near Ish.
Is there any shore around or there is there's?
Like a little ledge you can climb out onto and it kind of
from what you can see, because he's glowing, he's casting light
in here. So it's not completely dark.
There's some illumination. There's this ledge and it looks
like it goes for a little ways around the perimeter of this
cave. And you see a little falling
sun. Approaching the wall.
And now it's getting bigger. As it's getting brighter, if I
can stand, I'm going to stand and take a swing at this giant
shin or foot like whatever's nearest to me.
Oh. Shit.
You can't stand, but you can still take a swing on the leg.
Yeah, I'll give the give it a shot.
These cultists taking my eyes for this piece of garbage and
I'm just swinging right into it. Warhammer got a 15.
That's a hit. Doing 6 damage.
It hits with a really loud thunk and you can feel the warhammer
reverberating in your hands, rattles your teeth and your
brain just. Howl with rage at this point.
What's everybody else doing? Well, that.
Guy's crazy. No, no, you're fucking right
there, screech, and Tommy's going to doggy paddle to the
fucking shore. Try to get the fuck away from
all that, right? Yes.
OK. Then it is initiative again.
Five potatoes. That's you guys, Tommy and
Screecher heading for the shore. Full Knock is still there in
water combat with the Iron God and Sasha and Svend hit the
water along with a whole bunch of molten metal.
Except I do a cool death dive, right?
What before I hit the water? Death dive?
What? Yeah.
You know where you like, you take your hands and your feet
and you like point them down right before you hit make
impact. Wait, what?
Why? That's what the kids are doing
nowadays. That's yeah.
So. A lot of the Cliff divers do it.
Yeah, they're death diving. So they get their.
Raised kids are dumb. Yeah, yeah.
And so is Sasha. Spin's mutated body does not let
him contort himself very well. He belly flops.
That sounds painful. He's used to it.
So what's everybody doing? I'm.
Going to swim to shore. You see Screech and Tommy over
there a little ways ahead of you.
Oh help spin spin that does not have his floaties please I
cannot. Great swimmer but the only with
floaties. Please please I'm standing.
At that, you creepy fuck. I have so many voices in my
head. Yeah, spin too.
Is there a different shore away from all these people?
Romeo D6. Spite Omen 5.
I spite omen it. No, there is.
I swim to a different shore. Fair enough.
Cool knock. Yeah, if I'm like just floating,
I need to go because I'm actually in heavier armor, so
I'm going to have to. You know, I bet you could stand
on this guy's foot and attack him.
Like, wait up onto the top of his foot and stand there, all
right? That's what I'm doing then.
Oh my God, he's. Crazy motherfucker.
He's going to stomp you out, friend.
That's a 17. That's a hit.
For three more damage. What's this Armor D20?
D6 You're old to six, so this time you wind up with the hammer
and it just clangs off of his metal tide and I'm just lose
your grip on it. Grunting at this point, just
repeatedly like windmill slamming into this.
And he knows you're there, so he lifts that foot to try to stomp
Sasha. Oh.
What's? Rude as.
Fuck, you melted his whole fucking hand.
Also, you deserve this. I got a 10 on the nut then.
Damn, so like the the pressure of his foot just pushes you
under without actually crushing you and you kind of like pop out
the side and Bob back up to the surface.
I. See, I see Sasha pop up from the
surface and it's just yeah, help take this down.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
I'm trying to live here. Leave me alone.
I hate you guys. You're all Dicks.
Dicks. Fucking drowned then, you
fucking prick. I can't.
I'm too good at swimming, bitch. Stop moving in.
Sink, you fuck. Shit.
Screech and Tommy, you reach the little shore ledge.
Rock thing. Beautiful.
All right, I'll help Screech up or screech will help me up.
Either way, we're. Both up.
They're both pulling each other up as you climb.
Yeah, it. Would have been easier if we
just did it alone. I'm going to climb on this guy's
foot for safety. What are you talking about?
You're on that shore. No water.
He remember he all. He splooshed me around.
We didn't quite get there. That's.
A good swimmer, bitch. How?
How is this? You know what?
Make your own decisions. I ain't going to.
I ain't going to talk you out of it.
If I if I'm on the foot, what he's he's going to step on the
foot and try to hurt me. Oh, I guess sorry.
We'll don't ignore. That that's what he was, that's
what I thought he was going to do.
That's. What I also thought he was going
to do. It's what he will do.
He's going to self damage himself.
Good. He'll throw himself.
OK, yeah, hit yourself in the foot with your own foot.
You ever stop a pinky toe bitch? Oh my fuck.
Yeah, I'm in a bad mood. Do I see spinned in the water?
I'm just floundering in the back.
I take off my phone and I shoot him.
I'm just kidding. I've got 30 feet of rope.
I want to throw it out to him and try to drag his ass in and
try to do the same thing. I got a grappling hook too, so
that might. Help.
Oh yeah, throw that at me. It's his right side of his face.
Just drag him back. Do I need to roll anything or
no? OK, someone will be initiative
though. Oh, that.
Nice. That's not going to work. 4
That's us. I grab the rope.
I pull spinned in. I don't.
I look for a way out of this place, actually.
It's probably dark as fuck down here, isn't it?
You can see there's some illumination, but you know, it's
hard to see. Is that is that a tunnel or is
that just a shadow on the wall? Sure, I'm going to start looking
around. All right, we're all going.
Give me a person's test. Natural 23 or 23.
Welcome back to the table. Yeah, welcome.
Back, boys. Yeah, it turns out you right
over there. You, you came ashore right next
to this tunnel that's leading off away from this cavern.
It's the exit sign. The Pagemaster is waiting for
you. How does Screech communicate
this to his friends? Or does he?
Dummy, dummy. Yeah, no, it is kind of fucking
drafting down here. Let's try to get everybody
fucking down here and get the fuck out of here.
Did you find something? What?
I I see you as I'm fucking
dragging in spin. I think he is talking about how
there's draft usually in big and then there's the way to get can
you maybe keep it just a little higher like nothing, stop
tugging. Stop tugging, all right?
Okay, has have I fucking drugged spinned up yet?
Yes. Okay, sin you, you creepy old
fuck, get the fuck up here. I've got torches.
I'll hand torches to these two guys.
I'm going to throw rope out to quill knock again to try to try
to get my fucking crew together because I will not be a fucking
failure in the arch rogues eyes. No matter how fucked up this
fucking crew is, I will not be a fucking failure in the arch
rogues eyes. I'm going to have you make a
range presence tax to see if you can hook my Bower hammer,
because otherwise I'm going to keep windmill hitting this guy.
I think that I would get that too.
That's 14. Oh yeah, yeah, you definitely
got it. Oh spin will help tug rope with
you. Perfect hanging from the rope
with his feet off the ground. And I'm I'm going to try to
fucking pull Quill Knock back in and maybe Sasha will.
Pull the fuck out of his strength on that.
Sure. Spin is helping.
I got a nine. I got an 11.
So yeah, like it's like Quill knocks getting ready to just
like wind up and swing and the grappling hook just catches the
warhammer and just Yanks me back towards the other guys on the
short. And.
Tommy's just fucking determined to get the crew back together,
so he's pulling every fucking ounce of energy he possibly can
to get him in so. Yeah, like a fishing lure
through the water you just pulling caught on the log.
Yeah. And that leaves Sasha alone on
the giant boot. I'm on the foot.
I'm looking for an exit that's not where they are.
Presence, says DR18, because you are not close to the walls where
you are looking. Balls, it's a 3 he.
Threw his balls too. Is that everybody?
Yeah. All right, his turn.
He leans down to look at you, Sasha, and he starts to raise a
fist and starts to swing it down to you and realize it's chained
too high up to hit you. But his other arm slips out of
the manacle since there's no longer a hand on the end of it,
and he swings that down at you. Defend. 14-1.
That passes. Swan dive back into the wadies.
All right, nice. Try.
That's what. The fuck is happening here?
And that's initiative. OK, I'll I'll fuck this one up.
What is that 3? Sasha defend as Greg lifts his
foot and tries to stomp you again.
Defend Sasha. Defend.
Oh my, that's. A.
Pass you. Lucky prick he doesn't.
Even get near you this time he just like lifts a foot and
stomps and the wave just kind of pushes you further toward where
you're going. Perfect.
I was going to say I'm surfing that wave a belly board style.
We couldn't, all right, And that's the party's turn.
Where is it boy? Tell me Screech, where is the
drafted coming from? I have a torch here lit next to
a hole in the. Wall.
You sound so. Wet torch.
My really wet torch, yeah. You use your wet matches to
light that wet torch you. Didn't know my.
Thighs to dry it off, yeah. I wring it.
Out to my wet thighs. I'm going to pull on Thomas's
Kurt, Taylor or whatever. You know, we should maybe, maybe
just fucking leave. Obviously Sasha, not like any of
us. I don't know.
She seems to be cool. It's Finn though, just saying.
No, I don't think she's fucking cool with you.
Have I gotten cool knock up to the shore yet?
You'll spend this turn doing it. Okay, I'm just going to still
keep just yanking on this rope that sounded bad.
Just trying to get cool. Knock up on shore.
Cool knock. Once I get up next to Tommy,
it's like, what are you doing? We got to take this out.
No, you choose your fucking battles.
That thing's fucking huge. We could live and you could find
your cultists that took your fucking eyeballs, and we could
get this. Take our care of all that.
They did it for him. I'm going to make them bang.
No, fuck no. Kill the cultists first or fuck
I no I'm not dying for that big fuck right now.
Yeah, you're just going to turn into ketchup packets stepped on
by loose Vagrant. It's gross.
I spinned this scene before just.
I I, I get it. I get it.
You got you want revenge for fucking them taking your eyes.
I fucking understand that, but fucking pick your battles right
now. It's there's 5433 of us spin and
then Sasha doing whatever the fuck she's doing right?
Here why talk? I know, I know.
You're doing great buddy, and. Spin walks away and holding up
her middle finger. We don't have enough to fucking
take this thing out right now. OK, like using 2 fingers and
like tapping Tommy in the chest is like all right, we'll get the
Coltus but we come back. OK, that's fine.
I want to fucking live so we can come back.
Can we do that? When you 2 are done talking each
other's robes spin this fucking ready to go now.
At at that point, like I just like kind of like choke up on
the warhammer, kind of lean it on my shoulder and then walk
past a screech into the tunnel. Whatever floats your coat,
brother. No.
I'm going to throw the rope to Sasha.
No, no, she hates them.
You get one fucking shot to live, Sasha, Do you want to do
that or you want to fucking drown?
I can't. Remember, is this shit
permanent? Whatever's happening.
No, it's like 2 hours or some shit.
Hasn't. Yeah, but it hasn't been 2.
Hours yet it hasn't been two hours though I'll.
Put my hand on Tommy's show. Do you want to live the hate us
or you want to die in this fucking puddles?
While she's like breast stroking along, she's like.
Fuck you, baby boy. Gives you the birds and just
keeps going. I put my head on top of your
shoulder. Don't go there.
Go friend. I turn around to go back towards
the other two. Is there anything I could tie
the rope off to where we're standing?
Yeah, there's probably a Rock You can tie it around like a
formation. Like.
Grappling hook. Like no, I'm keeping the
grappling hook. I.
Don't like her that much. I'm going to have the I'm going
to have the rope still out there.
I'm going to tie it off onto this rock and I'm going to stare
at her. I'm going to turn around and
walk away. Follow the group.
As you turn and walk away, you see something else plummet from
the top of the cavern, down the waterfall and splash into the
pool. What the?
Fuck was that? Do I swim to an opposite shore
for safety? You're just swimming toward
another like rocky out crapping at water level and I think
that's initiative role again. Oh my.
God, just you out there, baby boy.
It's me, I swim further and do I get to safety now?
Yes. OK, do I find a hidey hole?
No, you were on this just kind of barren little chunk of rock
against a wall. There's no cave.
There's no like continuation anywhere.
It's just like your own little like 10 feet of nothing.
Am I far enough away from the legs?
As you're wondering that he winds up and moves to stomp you.
Give me a defence role. Oh, that is a dirty 20.
Oh my. God, what?
Was this block earlier? I don't.
Know he got hit by Max damage clap earlier so.
You pressure back up against the wall as you see this giant foot
coming toward you and it just stops like an inch from your
face as he's reached his range on the chains.
If I'm taking a nap against that wall.
Nice try, big boy. Get over to work and stop you do
a piece of shit fuck. You that dust bitch.
Fuck you. I got 1 mission.
I need that dust. Need that dust if you if you
want to come over here. You're the one missing the hand.
Loser. Loser.
You see these puppies? And I give them double birds.
You can't do this move that little big toe.
I swear to fucking dog as soon as I get out of this.
Get out of this snow on that wall, you bastard.
You can try. You've been down here for a long
time, haven't? You while you're stuck there,
I'm going. To take a break.
And welcome back to Flail to the Face.
So what is the majority of the party doing having left the big
cavern? I'm looking for Braille on the
walls 'cause I can't see. What is your interpretation of
Braille? Or what is Finn's interpretation
of Braille? He's on all the grey.
Woods. Yeah, but I got my weird awkward
long fingers just kind of fingering all the holes.
Spinn has been in many caves before.
Just ask the fourth wife. We used to go all the time.
She called it swinging but and I see no difference.
I think I found something that's a little a little tight, but
maybe spin can squeeze through. We need to be able to find a
whip. Before I'm trying to follow the
draft. You, I'm just going to watch him
walk off since I can see in the dark, watch him walk off and
hopefully watch him walk into something.
Yeah. Well, OK, I'm feeling all around
these holes for like the draft. Where would the draft be coming
from? From right.
There's definitely an air current down the tunnel and it's
definitely a tunnel, not just like a little alcove in the
wall. Spin must be fingering wrong
hole here. Let me let Spin turn around.
Well, yes, there is draft face first.
Oh. My God.
Here, just just follow me and I'm going to like grab spin by
his backpack and just kind of like drag him along.
Yeah, thank you. Well, knock spin does.
Turns out eyes not as good as before.
Still glassy. I'm going to assume that they're
still a little bit ahead of me since I tied off the rope for
all Sasha there. While I'm tying off the rope,
I'm going to give a whistle for Uncle Raz to come down.
There we are. And then I'm going to head into
the The Cave, kind of feeling my way through because I can't see
in the dark either and I've got wet torches.
I'm sure you can hear spend. Talking, so I'm going to try to
catch up with them. All right, we cut back to the
main cavern. Sasha, what are you doing?
Keep your toes away from me, I'm going to stab it.
And I I pull out my weird sword and I just keep stabbing the toe
every time he tries to get close to me now.
Put that fucking pigs to go where you little piece of shit.
I'm a little prick. Get away.
Yeah, you are.
My God, old people have to fall down that fucking whole head
with you. It's not my fault it was theirs.
You burned off my hand. That's your.
Fault you were trying to catch these faces.
Sasha, as you're sitting here having this argument, you see
something swimming through the water toward the other ledge
where everyone was but now no longer is.
What's it look like? Looks like a man riding a pig.
A man riding. A pig.
Oh. No.
This pig looks familiar, right? It does.
The man doesn't. No, the man does too.
He's got this long white beard and these black robes.
No fucking way. Oh boy, here he is.
No. Hey, the pig was a plan.
What? Oh, hey, it's you.
Why do you why do you did we meet before?
I think so. You can't remember.
Can't remember a lot of things that.
Makes sense. Can you kill this guy or what?
Probably not. No, I don't think I'm going to
do that. OK, fuck you then.
Fuck you too. Yeah.
Go to start. Pig climbs up onto the ledge and
goes trotting off down the tunnel I love.
That pig. You're fucked, Levi.
Can I just so I'm just on this little 10 foot rock and there's
nowhere to like shimmy away from this guy out of his reach.
I mean, it looks like if you stay against the wall you're out
of his reach. Good, I'm doing that.
OK, where you going? I.
Don't know, I'm just riding the wall trying to feel my way out
of here. Well, there's five feet that way
and five feet that way. Good.
And then, then it's water. Go left.
All right. You come to the end of the
legend. Some water.
OK, then I go the other way. Other left.
Yeah, my other left. It's a pretty short circuit
there. Well, what's on my other left?
More water. Oh, OK.
Cool. All right.
Well, so he can't reach me here. OK.
So that means if I get in the water and I make my way around
the crevasse, he can't reach me. So I'm going to do that.
Yeah. There you go.
I'm MC Hammer out of here here. I'm gone.
You know what?
This is actually the best self you'll get the fuck out of here
and you. Don't want any more of this
little prick. No, I don't leave you.
I'm trying. Don't God this.
Is supposed to be like some sort of God, hey?
Which way is out? Which way you want me gone?
Tell me. I'll go go over the other ones
once you. Fuck them, no way.
Fuck you, where's? Another exit, exit.
I don't know. Death.
You're useless, this guy. This is.
He's useless. Everybody wait, I'm by myself.
Oh yeah, this guy changed up down here.
Can't. Can't find your little fucking
mouse holes for you? Yeah, he's a little.
Loser, he's not feeling shit with his toes or whatever you
do. You're bored.
You don't know every. You don't know into this
crevasse. This crevasse.
Please leave, I'll give you money.
Sauce is just a. Prick.
I'm not after money. I need that dust.
Come on. Come on.
I I'd save it. I don't know what you're talking
about, but I don't think anyone knows what you.
I don't think you know what you're talking about.
Spin does sure. Don't sure.
Dick. Don't get, don't get me dust or
whatever I'm out of. Here, I'm gone.
Don't get me, I'm gone. I'm getting out of here.
Get out of. Here, fucking dog paddling.
I'm. I don't know, I'm breast
stroking dog. I'm fucking going the mile.
That's right, you're doing the swimmer.
I'm just. Going.
Where are you going again? I'm just following the wall.
You said Sasha, to be like this. I'm first.
Yeah. That's it, you come to the ledge
where you last saw your pig and those other guys fuck.
You love your pig more. I love that pig.
I'm. Going to take this rope that was
precariously placed here and I'm just going to slowly walk as far
away from them as possible but behind them so they don't see
me. I'm not glowing or anything, am
I? I think.
I am, yeah. Good, so I'm walking in the dark
and I can't see anything. Yep, and we cut back to the
party. What's everyone else doing?
Quilt knocks, just following the tunnel and dragging spin behind
him. Yeah, it's spin.
Feels like it smells danker and danker the more deeper we get.
What do you think? You shut up at.
All well, you know, Spin spends many, many years alone on the
road. So when he gets time to talk,
Spin likes to talk. Great.
So yeah, no. Great, great, great.
Maybe you could tell spin what Cape looks like since you see.
It looks like a cave, OK. We'll knock.
What? Are we there yet?
I drop him on the floor at this point and then just keep
walking. Is it safe to assume I've caught
up with them? Yes.
I'm going to step over spinned and then grab him and drag him
along as I'm trying to follow the footsteps.
Round 2 for spinned. Screech, you following along
too? Yes, I will have silently
stepped over, spinned. Actually, probably not.
I can't see anything so. Give me a presence test.
Wonderful. Fucking kick me on your way.
Or trip over him. Oh, that's pretty good.
That's like 18. Oh yeah, you, you.
You managed to step over him and not kick him or trip over him
and Tommy comes along and scoops him up.
Yeah, actually, since I can't see either, do I trip over him?
Good question. Give me a presence test.
See. It's a 1 + 2.
So hey. You found spin.
All right, so as I trip over spin, I will stand up and grab
him aggressively and start dragging him along right in the
roof of the mouth, dragging him. Oh.
God. Quilnock, you, you, you come
around to bend in the tunnel and all of a sudden it just spreads
out into an opening and it's lit from above by these hanging open
flame lamps. It's more like a cave than a
tunnel now, but there's a path forward ahead of you, lined with
broken statues, and beyond them is this very plain, cut into the
stone rectangular doorway. I'll wait up for the rest of the
group to catch up. So now that they can see with
all the hanging lights and I suppose we should just head out
this door. But what about your crazy friend
that you left back there who didn't seem like much of A
friend? Who?
Dead to me. Well, that's much different tone
than you had earlier, friend. I I've had a fucking F of this.
I'm going to take one of my torches.
I'm going to try to light my wet torch on one of the hanging
lights if I can. Yeah.
Now we got to get the fuck out of here.
I'll just walk across. I'm going to follow closely
behind him. I don't want to get lost.
Way too close. Yeah, probably.
Yeah, at that point, like Quinox leaning and Quinox going to lean
in the screech, are those two like a thing or something or?
Yes. No, fuck, OK, I just keep
walking. Son of a bitch.
Just got to shrug and follow behind.
Sasha, he's still hoofing it. Yeah.
How fast? As slow as I need to.
Don't know what that means. Are you softering?
I'm walking blindly through here because there's no lights.
So I'm, I'm just taking my time, feeling out this cave, you know,
just making my way. All right.
It's really quiet in here. Weird.
I know. I forgot he was there.
Was that my? Pig.
And I'm going to start hoofing it because I know he's riding my
pig. Yep, if you start running, give
me. There it is.
License DR14. 11 What do I run into?
Your pig's ass as you just barrel right into the back of
it. I've never been closer to you.
Oh God, how? You doing buddy good?
Oh, it's you again. Why are you on my pig?
Why aren't you on your pig? If it's your pig, don't see your
name on it. I see me on it.
I can't see anything. It's dark as shit down here.
I'm just going to reach up and pull him off my pig and mount
that pig and get out of here. He's being this pig.
We have a connection, you know. Yeah, especially you ran base
first into its ass. Smells glorious.
Oh God. You're a terrible sick man.
Yeah, he goes. Well, you hear him, Goose
sprawling across the ground. Be.
Careful down there and start. Oh, thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome. It is.
You want to you want to follow us or what?
Oh yeah. Are you sue?
I'm a tie rope around. Where are we going?
I'm. Just going to tie a rope around
him and then tie it to the pig and just get going.
Hey, give you up. Fast as possible.
Right around the Jack. Right around.
His torso just dragging him along and seen.
And seen and back to the rest of the party.
You went through the door, Yes. Yes.
But you find yourself in a decent sized room, and
definitely a room, not a cave. This was.
This is finished stone, very obviously intentionally carved.
In the middle of it is a fountain full of some kind of
black liquid. You can't really tell just from
looking at it. And around it, not really in any
kind of orderly way, are a bunch of tents.
They look really old. Some of them have holes in them.
Some of them have collapsed, fraying, just decaying.
And inside the tents and among the tents are these dried up
desiccated bodies, kind of in slumped positions or kneeling or
sitting cross legged against the wall.
Spin you too. Oh no, spin, spin, he can't.
He is very parts you. You lads go ahead, check out all
of the the the tents in the bodies and spin is going to
check out that luscious looking liquid over there.
You're very parched. Yes, do do that.
Spin gets you a drink too. Yes, Screech, it only costs you
2 silver. Keep your filthy penis tipped
feet away from my sequence. Now walk away.
All right, spin get you 2. I'm going to live the tents.
Kolnak's going to kind of look around at some of these corpses,
see if I can see any identifying if they were members of the cult
group that I'm hunting down. The tents are barely tents.
They were clearly makeshift, cobbled together with spare
ropes, some old sticks. A bunch of lean to.
Canvas. Not quite a lean to, but just.
These are not made from parts of a tent.
These are things thrown together to resemble a tent.
Gotcha. The corpses are ancient, very
thin, frail. Looking at them closer, you can
see marks of different kinds of diseases.
This one had the pox and this one had leprosy and just go down
the line and everyone here seemed to have been suffering
from something. Damn.
Well, these guys are no fucking good to us.
Let's get the fuck out of here. This man's going to step up to
the fountain and pull out one bag of sugar powder.
I still have some of the drugs. Right.
Yeah, but like. Spin has had rough day.
He needs to recoup a little bit, have a little spin time, stop
wit, get off my ass. Oh, you're right.
Sorry. I'll open the door and walk out.
Sasha, you come to a cave with a path leading between two rows of
broken statues toward a rectangular door.
Is it the only door in this? Area it is.
I'm a bust through it with my pig.
You see spin standing at a fountain with the powder.
And I've got a line already set up and then my little makeshift
canteen that I've dipped into the black liquid and set aside
next to it. And I'm rubbing my weird little
fucking hands together. I'm going to, I'm going to
fucking spin's going to lean down and get ready to snort that
that goodness up real quick. Then take a shot.
You all see Sasha riding in on Dieter the Powder Pig, and Sasha
you see spin about to hit this line, grind this rail.
Oh, hi. Oh, it's great to see you again.
Oh, hi. It's great to see anyone again.
It's really dark down here. I can't actually see you because
I'm being dragged backwards. What's going on?
I let go with the rope and I head for the door.
Which door? The one you just busted through.
There are two doors, one to the left and one to the other way.
Which door are they not behind? Well, Sven is standing in the
middle of the room next to this fountain with the powder.
I'm off to the left. He's off to the left.
I'm off to the other side. Is it like a big fountain or can
I go through the fountain? It's like, you know, comes up
into a bowl and then there's like a spout at the top and it's
just kind of spraying this black liquid out back down into the
basin. I'm going to leave my pig right
through the middle of the fountain.
Do I get to do a line before that?
Yeah. Or during that I guess.
I thought Sasha was going to go for the powder.
I did too. I don't think I need the powder
you've been. Fixing about it this whole time
I have the powder. He just has a little bit of
powder. Yeah.
I'm still looking for the cake man.
I don't need that Scooby snack. Oh my.
God, Oh my fucking God. He probably could have found
that on the floor for all I care.
Well I fucking rip a line and do a shot.
I. Have one out of eight health.
Remember, that's how you have fun kids.
You need to give me a toughness test.
That's an 18, Sir. Old you spin has been around the
block. Spin.
No soft party ass up, no one's down.
All right, so spin you get plus one to strengthen agility for 3D
10 minutes. Oh, 15 minutes.
You said you got 18, yeah so 12 plus.
Hit me with that shit bro. You feel invulnerable, ready to
take on the dying world, gain an extra D4 HP, but lose double
that amount gained if you don't take another bump on your way
down since. The last. 3.
I. Have one bag left, motherfucker.
Oh do. You now?
Yeah, well, you got 15 minutes before you have to worry about
that. Oh yeah, spin feels so good
right now. Spin could do lots.
It's been looking to have a little fun today.
What's this? Oh, a spin left present.
What's the black liquid do to me?
It tastes like water. Good.
Oh, Spin is no longer parched. I'm ready to go.
Tommy, from where you're standing in the room, you smell
something pleasant sweet coming from the doorway on that other
side that isn't left. I'm going to open the door and
see what the Hell's going on, slowly and quietly.
Doorway not there's no actual door.
On doorway. OK, well I'm going to peer my
head in slowly and quietly. You find more of those dried out
desiccated bodies and various positions in the room, but in
the center of the room there is like a little altar with a bunch
of incense burners set up on it and it's just billowing this
nice sweet smelling smoke. OK.
But there's no sign of anybody that's been in there recently.
Give me your presence test, OK? Suspect.
That's 7. Nope.
Not that I can tell, no. As far as you can see, the
incense is just kind of magically burning in there.
You don't see footprints and any dust or anything.
No signs that anyone's been through here.
I have a quick question. Would that count as like a
little break or I had some water to get some extra health or
anything? I'd call that a short break.
Deer. A drink in a bump.
What would that be? D4.
I think it's D4. OK.
I'm I'm doing OK, but if if I don't take that bump, I'm going
to be broken. Yep.
I'm going to duck my head back in.
It's like, hey, there's a fucking incense burning over
here. But I don't know, I don't see
nothing about anybody been in here any time recently.
So either it's fucking magical incense or ghosts.
I'm going to go and check it out.
It's fuck it. I'm not doing anything else here
right now. You find the same thing.
These weird desiccated bodies and this little altar burning
incense. Bizarro.
I go in the left door away from these guys.
That makes sense. You find yourself in a dining
hall with a big, long, nice wooden table set with a bunch of
place settings, and there's food on it.
But this food has clearly been here a really long time.
Some of it's dried out, some of it is mush, some of it is
rotting. It smells the exact opposite of
the room that Tommy found. Do I see another doorway or any
miscellaneous giant piles of powder?
You do not see any miscellaneous giant piles of powder.
You do see another doorway up into the right.
Does my powder pig lead me towards the powder?
He's got the nose for it. You know they find truffles.
Dieter is very interested in this rotting food that's up on
the table, but he can't quite reach, you know, to get his head
up there to get a better sniff at it.
I grabbed some for him. Is this what you want?
He chows down on it. OK, keep walking.
Find me that powder. And I smack his little ass.
And he pig gallops off along down this room 0.
My God. Did anyone else see Sasha
fucking just fly through here? She's not even going to say hi
to any of us. Yeah, I thought she, I thought
she hated all of you anyway. You are poetry of all Quillnock.
We spend friends with all of you.
We are all family now. It seems like a scam.
What'd you find in the Potpourri
room? That that's about it, yeah.
Just a potpourri, correct? Anything worse maybe taking back
selling for much over marked price?
No, let's go see where fucking Sasha went.
Fair enough, spin things that she need to just settle down.
Maybe do a bump with the old swin?
I don't know but. Well, then I guess kicked down
to her. I don't know.
Maybe I also don't want to tell her that I had to cut her pay.
Travelling with a bunch of drug users and psychopaths.
You know, it could be worse. You're right, Finn could have
been with third wife that point. Oh hey, before you guys leave
could you untie me? Still dying of here.
What the fuck is this? No, wait, I'll fucking on time.
How did you get down here, you old fuck?
Oh well, you can tell my voice is different because I got a
cold. I thought the steam down in that
cavern kind of helped loosen me up.
Yeah, How'd that work out for you?
Not great, not great, I can't lie.
Neither can spin. Do you know how to get the fuck
out of here? No.
No, I I was riding this pig and then that little guy kicked me
off, tied me up. Normally I'm kind of into it,
but. Not to do Sasha's not one for
four play. No, I can tell, right?
Very, very motivated person. I turn around and I walk towards
where the room where Sasha went in.
You find the same rotting banquet table full of horrible,
horrible food. Beautiful and another.
Door Door up to the right. Guys, there's a door.
Sasha and the the Powder Pig. I must have went it this way.
Man, follow the pig droppings. Sasha, you went into the room
first. All the rest of these rooms have
been relatively plain, kind of austere, well made, straight
lines, cleanly cut out of the stone.
But this room is draped with tapestries on the walls and nice
carpeting. And there's this great big, it
looks almost like A4 poster bed with the curtains drawn against
the far wall. And as you enter the curtains
facing you part and this long thin gangly arm kind of drops
out and you hear a voice say, does this look infected?
Hey everybody, Kevin at the end of the episode.
This episode features the adventures the Dust Funnel by
Rugos Cone and the Temple of Healing by Torthavec with Levi
playing Sasha, the sun scorched Zealot by Nick Turdijo, Thomas
playing Quill not the profane Survivor by Jared Barnes from
the cult Ossory, Jake playing Spin, the mutated goblin by Heck
and Viv, Kevin playing Tommy the shockey Skulker from Tommy Sons
an hour and Nate playing Dorian Screech.
John the narco master by Brain, right?
Check out all these cool things and the respective excliburous
morph work entries and the description accompanying this
episode. And while you're at it, check us
out on our social medias, our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
Blue Sky and Thread, and wherever you listen to podcasts,
make sure to rate, review, and share with all of your friends
so we can get out there to more people.
While we're at it, if you haven't already, please check
out our sister podcast, The World Standard.
And if you like what they're doing over there, think about
joining their Patreon. It gives you access to their
Discord, which you can talk to us as well because we're on
there. And just for $3 a month, you get
a Discord access with that. Thanks for listening and we'll
catch you guys next time. Hold on, there's deer upstairs.
That's a weird ass deer. Hey, get over here, kids.
Wow, that's a creepy ass deer. Horse disguise as a deer.
Carrots, kids. It's like a, it's like a mixture
of like Tigger and. Yeah, I don't like old wizard.
Oh, you just. It's also a pedophile for sure.
You just sparked it all neurons. Oh my God.
The wonderful thing about Tigger?
Sounds the. Only one.
It sounded. It sounded like that old man
pretending to be Tigger, and in my mind he was just breaking
bones like this guy. That's not how that works
though. I I to steal Nate's phrase, I
hate all this. Yeah, yeah.
Thank you. You did a swan dive like 2
episodes ago. Perfect.
Swan dive, OH. That's right.
He was showing us your. Butt hole, Was that a thing?
I made that part. Yeah, it was lifeguard.
Spin. Spin used to be lifeguard, yes.
Spin has to blow up butthole, make you breathe again, no?
Wrong. That's not what was happening.
That's. Not how that works.
Spin was too bad. How does that work?
No. Spin this, doctor.
Finn went to medicine school. But the school for medicines?
Finn play with many needle. That's way more believable.