Greeting scum and welcome to Flail the Face.
I am Kevin, you're Flailmeister once again and I am back with
all these degenerates. Hey, it's not Holemaster
anymore. No, we're Flailmaster I I
changed it last episode from Holemeister to Flailmeister.
What? I didn't get a vote on that.
Yeah, I didn't get the memo. You were there, we recorded it.
That doesn't mean anything in 2025.
Yeah, I mean, he's got a point. OK, point is, I am Kevin, I am
your flailmeister and I'm here with these degenerates.
I'm degenerate number one. I would be Thomas.
I'm playing Dalton Walls. Hello, I am degenerate #42 I am
Tom and I am playing Colette Stellarno.
Oh, are you pointing at me, degenerate #7 playing Donnie?
I'm Mr. Paschke. That was really awkward, so I'm
going to make him more awkward. Yeah.
Flem. I mean flail flail.
All right, so last we left you guys, you somehow overcame the
hell spawn that made its way through nowhere, was going
through the many doorways there, and you brought them back.
Hell yeah yeah, called it. Much to the surprise of Doctor
Throckmorton. How there mommy?
Yes, Mommy was very pleased and. My good boy.
They've taken Zalia into custody and told you guys to go rest up.
They set you guys up in a room partitioned off so you have your
own privacy, but it's the best you've been treated since you've
been on hole. Next day has come.
You guys are starting to get rested.
What exactly are you guys doing as you're in this little slice
of hole? A little slice of heaven, right
A. Little hole of heaven.
Back on the hole, I am probably hungry so I'm looking for
something. Rats to eat?
You know, if look, that's I don't judge you.
I don't go, I don't go around looking at you being like, oh,
look, it's a lunch lady. I bet her her pockets are just
full of grease. Not wrong.
First of all, Danny, I I I judge nobody like I I don't King shame
me. Secondly, this well, I'm just
looking at the menu. We got shit on here that like I
don't even know how to pronounce.
I don't know what, I don't know what Gaz Petro is.
Sound sounds fancy, but you have a variable pick of the litter
here when it comes to food. Yeah, well it all it all stop
moving and that does don't make it rad.
Oh, oh, you, you, you like something more?
Yeah. Like sushi?
Yeah, well, little fresher than that.
Does some menu have malted milk balls on it?
Ah, no, because this isn't 1842. The Planet, 1842.
I go back to like my table, sit down, start writing in my
journal. How I hate everyone.
Yeah, J 6432. Everyone is still insufferable.
Stop writing my journal. Stop writing out loud.
So as you guys are having this conversation there is a knock at
the door. As the door opens up, Colette,
it is your ex-husband Salt, and he's Wheeling in a cart.
I massage my temples. I.
Prepare with. A bunch of silver domed
platters. Oh, with a cloche?
I'll look over at Donnie and just like knowing the look of Oh
yeah, here's the awkward moments again.
Writing in the journal, we've established he speaks out loud
as he writes. Yeah.
And he's like the ex-husband arrived again.
The sexual tension is just unbearable.
I will. Kick you in the Dick.
Colette tries to divert the conversation away by making
mediocre threats at best on my person.
Oh my God. As he's standing there listening
to Dalton basically read his journal out loud, he's like,
Letty, look, I brought some food for you guys.
You guys did great. I watched the whole thing and
you guys did awesome and on your mission.
And he starts putting out platters in front of everybody
and he looks at Collette and he's like, I got this one
special for you, sweetheart. Good, I'll be sure to throw it
up later. No, I know how you did.
You got to keep that figure. The pleads platitudes continue
to fall upon deaf ears as Colette threw off his advances
with much to do. I will take you at the Thoris
and that will give you paper cuts on your shriveled little
Weiner. He's going to have to get in
line for that. All right, guys.
I'll see you later. What, what, what?
Just a moment. They any anything here.
You know, I I would accept. Grok What?
What do you got here? We'll.
Open it up and find out there. Yeah, big boy.
And he wheels the cart out and closes the door behind him.
Also I want to know how he watched everything.
Does anyone else like do this is a pay-per-view service?
Do we get a cut? Like what?
Yeah. I was thinking the exact same
thing. So as you guys open up your
silver domed platters, it is exactly the meal you've been
desiring, the thing that you've missed the most from your home
planet. Oh, what would that be if you
were to pull something up? Obviously Dalton is missing
Malted. Balls Malted milk balls with a
glass of dark chocolate almond milk.
And you don't have diabetes? How?
Superior genetics. OK.
Goes back to the journal, Colette seems to lack the
understanding of basic biology and.
I am an alpha male. Oh God no.
Colette lifts up her cloche and she looks at the sandwich of her
dreams. It is a breaded chicken cutlet
sandwich with wing sauce on it, provolone cheese and fried onion
rings, all on a baguette. And she looks at it and goes,
oh, baby, there you are, the number 12 from Patsy's deli.
Oh, fuck yeah. And I take a big chomp of it and
I go. Oh, remember, your ex-husband is
the one who procured that for you.
College is happily eating and she goes what?
I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. I was in complete and utter
bliss out of this place. So Donnie lifts the lid of his
clothes for you guys to see a large bowl and the smell of
orange duck sauce wafting across the room and the sound of
tripping of 6 ducklings swimming in the sauce.
I haven't had meal like this in forever.
Praise be me, Llama. And he reaches in, submerges the
little duck. You hear it starts splashing and
there's orange sauce going everywhere.
And then he picks it up by its little neck and puts the entire
duckling in his mouth, and you hear the crunch of its bones.
That is absolutely fine. No, it's delicious, trust me.
The sauce really accents everything.
And would you like what I've got?
I've got so many I don't know if I can do it.
Goes back to the journal. Another duckling in his mouth
makes eye contact. Colette cautiously scoots over
to Donnie, dips a little bit of her sandwich in the duck sauce,
and takes a little bite. All right, that's not that bad.
I have now decided that I am unsure about the overall sanity
of the rest of my party. Oh, something's about my tongue.
Oh, it's a feather. So as you guys are enjoying your
meals, stuff that brings you back to your former homes,
memories flooding of of the times that you've had these
meals and the thought that you wouldn't have these meals again
just kind of fade away. What's everybody's thought about
what happened on the previous mission?
Do they feel like it went well? Are you guys critiquing it in
any way? Do you guys think that there's a
better approach to doing what you're doing?
Are you guys coming up with a game plan for the next one?
Do you know what you're going to be thinking about when you're
going into this sort of stuff? What's the conversation about
the last mission? Dalton just kind of closes his
journal and his like, so our project or whatever, we are part
of this program for our early release.
This first experience, I mean, it had snafus, but I honestly
think this might give me some hope that we might actually
succeed at this. And he looks over at the chewing
on the ducklings despite some hindrances.
What? What?
What do you think our next mission might be?
Colette puts down half of her sandwich and she looks at Dalton
and Donnie and goes, well, I'm not getting hung up on what our
next mission might be because it might be completely random,
right? Who knows what bodies we're
going to be in? For all we know we could be in
the fucking body of Space Raccoon or just another dead
guy. Hell even worse, maybe 3 dudes
who just popped out of the grave somewhere, you know what I mean?
So I think our best strategy is to be flexible and adapt to our
situations in any way possible. So your solution is to be
purely. Reactive.
Exactly. Maybe next time we don't lead
with the Jelly Bean salesman, we start off with a different kind
of salesman that may in fact have a edible sample to give
them is what I'm here. You know what, Donnie?
I like the way you think. I like you.
I like your pitch that you got going on right there.
Because if we want to, if we want to get through these
missions fast and easy, we got to figure out how to dupe these
dupes. Right.
So So what we need to do here is we should practice.
Excuse me Sir and or Madam I understand you are not wink evil
being sent from a prison planet to this reality.
Mate, I interest you in a free sample of my wares.
This non living picks up baby duckling candid duck thing.
It's a duck thing, not a duckling.
Try it. Put this in your mouth.
Oh. My God I am absolutely appalled.
I'm I am undecided on if you're actually serious.
The sauce is dripping on your journal.
I want you. To bite my sandwich.
But for real, in all honesty, we like we're going and blinded as
Dalton. We don't even know like, what
awaits us next or whatever these freaking the next weirdo is.
How do you, how do you, how do we prepare for something we
don't even know what we're going up against?
I don't know, like do we even have an ability to request like
any sort of information? Like they didn't give us any
sort of briefing besides like, hey, you're going to go find a
person and make him come back and.
Well, that's. Just it seems like they need to
like. Have like a little dossier on
who our next target is. Exactly.
I'm also impressed that you know that word.
I know words. I've imagined this with like a
big honkin sandwich doing her hand and just like.
I'm just using it as a pointer. Yeah, just like.
Yeah, Dossier, yeah, So we can evaluate and our our mission
objective and to extemporeniate ourselves.
Not a word. Maybe you?
So as you guys are having this conversation, you hear another
knock at the door and in walks in Paul, the guy that got you
guys to this area. Oh look, it's dickhead.
Yes, the person of very questionable intense.
You guys, I understand. I, I apologize for coming up to
you guys with false pretenses. I am I.
Should very well have Danny relocate your gonads with a
swift kick. That, you know, totally, totally
understandable. I would probably deserve that.
But those have been gone for quite a while.
It's a long, complicated back story.
I don't want to get into it right now.
I'm actually here on behalf of Doctor Throck Morton to come
collect you guys so that you could be a part of the
interrogation of Azalea. So, so we can try to get some
information out of her so we can know more about what you guys
are facing. Colette raises her hand.
Yes, you in the front with the sandwich.
Sandwich still in there, can we? Well, I have questions, Part 1.
Can we participate in said interrogation?
That's up to the doctor, but I don't see why not.
I need information that we can get out of this character from
anybody. Would be beneficial for
everyone. Can I bring my sandwich with?
Yes, I don't see why not. Awesome.
Thank you. I take my platter and I go.
So lead the way are. You guys ready?
Yeah, I'll have my tray with my malted no falls with me and I'll
just. You got your 12 piece.
Yeah, I'll also bring my ducklings.
By all means. OK, so Paul leads you guys down
a long corridor, doors on either side, you can see through the
windows. There's people working on
computers and doing all sorts of stuff in in the background.
I just imagine the one person who looks out the window and
sees Donnie just like dipping a duck and duck.
Sucks. Just live squirming duck little
wings. Flapping like a Dawn commercial,
but from hell. Yeah, right in.
The arm. So.
When the sauce is mixed, it's amazing good.
Please chew with your mouth closed.
And Donnie, viscera doesn't really count as sauce, but you
know what? I'm not here to yuk.
Yum. Literally Yum.
So as you guys are walking down this hallway, going through
corridor after corridor, about 5 minutes pass and you finally get
to a room heavily lit. Paul ushers you in, and Doctor
Throckmorton is actually there waiting for you guys in a
plexiglass cage. Chained down to the floor is
Zalia, and she's writhing and screaming for somebody to let
her go. Well, as I said before, well
done on procuring this air quote health spawn.
She's not forthcoming with myself even though we've been
persuading her. And you'll see that as she says,
persuade that an electrical charge comes up the chains and
electrifies her as she's sitting there.
Maybe you guys would have a better approach on trying to get
some information from her so that we know what we're going
into as we're doing this. I I think we we would be OK with
this method. She was rather disagreeable when
she was on the other plane. Well, I was thinking Donnie and
I could be a good cop. Bad cop.
Donnie, you want to be a bad cop?
Why do I have to be the bad cop? Crunches the head of a duckling.
You. Want to be a good cop boss?
No, I'll be the bad cop, I guess.
You want us to have a crack at us at a Doctor Throckmorton?
By all means, I mean, all right, let's see if we can crack this
nut. Let's do it.
I'm going to lead over to the doctor and it's more like they
call it good cop, bad cop. I call it dumb and Dumber.
I still have the sandwich in my hand.
I have at least four ducks. Left good.
Keep that. Keep those ducks handy.
All right, we've reached this down.
Is she still being electrocuted? No, it was just a quick jolt
trying to break her will. Grabbing part of her her shirt
and wiping the duck sauce off my mouth.
She's actually inside like a pleasant there's.
There's actual bubble. I'm sorry, I missed that.
All right then I would grab a brown paper napkin and just kind
of like wipe my face and throw it at the plexiglass cage.
Am here to offer you one last chance to repent from your evil
ways and bow down to the Mecca Llama that has saved us all and
will save us again for the future.
Past is what has been. It shall be.
I am not telling you idiots a damn thing.
I'm here to. Tell you not Have you tell me?
You don't know what you just fucking did by bringing me back
here. Well, why don't you tell us?
It's too fucking late. You guys fucked everything off.
I was doing what I was told to do by somebody far more
important than anybody you guys will ever fucking know, and you
guys ruined it. You guys fucking ruined it, and
you might as well consider that whole fucking plane of existence
gone fucking toast. Never go there again.
Fucking done. Well, actually, can I roll to
see if she's, like, being truthful by all means.
All right, what would that be? That.
Feet Nuts. Gray Mata.
That's an 8.
You know what, even with an 8, you can see that the passion in
her fucking eyes. She's wholeheartedly believing
what she is saying. All right, I, well, I look at
her and I go, listen, whether I believe you are not in this
current moment doesn't really matter because you are in there
and I am out here. But we are just doing our
mission to get out of this like sentence faster.
What do you mean plane of existence?
It doesn't matter, by the time that you guys try to get off of
this fucking this trash rock, everything in existence is going
to be fucking gone. By what and by whom?
Look, you, you wouldn't understand it.
There's there's no way that you you're you could possibly
understand what exactly is going on.
OK, well now you just have a condescending tone and now
you're making me now. Now you're just coming off as
less agreeable and quite frankly, kind of a prick.
So why don't you? Let me just you see what I
understand of this situation here is you much like this
little duck or inside of a container picks duck out of
sauce, holds the live duck squirming its little hands
covered in orange sauce and we are out here.
You see where I am going with this Dips duck back in sauce.
Let's flash around. A little bit makes.
Eye contact with the doctor. Now you should tell us more or
something like this could have happened.
Don't look. No, it doesn't get any easier
when he does it. It's delicious by the bye.
At this point is when Dalton like walks in behind him.
It's just sees him chewing on the duck and it's like oh God
again. Do you guys really want to know
what the hell you're fucking dealing with here?
You really want to know what the hell you were going to be
dealing with and what you've already condemned that plane of
nowhere to. Well, for all we know from what
we've experienced, you were just summoning a bunch of people from
like death, remaking them in the monsters, and then all the other
humans are hunting us. Down except for that child that
you were basically torturing by keeping trapped inside of that
storm shelter for who knows how long.
I totally forgot about the kid. Donnie.
Yes. What the fuck is up with that?
OK, you know what? That was.
OK, you know what? Fine.
You want to see what the fuck is going on?
I'll show you what the fuck is going on.
And as she says that, you see her skin go from pale white to
blistered red. Holy shit, to blistering.
And the blisters are popping and the skin is peeling from her
body. What the fuck?
And as the skin is peeling from the body, these huge wings shoot
from her fucking back and these gnarly spines start popping from
all over her body and her body just starts oozing this thick
black liquid that just smells. The closest thing that could be
described is smells of regret and you can smell this through
the plexiglass. And her eyes glow with a grayish
hue, and she looks directly at the three of you.
I have been contracted as. Part of the team that are going
to these different realms to take out greater evils that are
here to destroy these realms. You think you're in prison now,
but where I'm from, this is the only way to survive and to live.
I'm basically doing what you're doing.
I'm working off my sentence to get out of hell.
The only way to do this is to hunt down these demons, for a
lack of a better term, that are looking to destroy these worlds.
These malefactors are here to cause plague and famine and
disease and chaos and ruin these lands.
Yes, some of them are already dying, but the people in these
areas do not deserve the hell that these malefactors are going
to be bestowing upon them. And you?
3 She points over to the doctor. And you have completely fucked
up by taking me off of nowhere. I was on the trail of the
malefactor there. This demon, yes I was a
necromancer, but it was the only body that I can get into there.
That area, nowhere fucking done. Might as well just write it off
existence. There's nothing there.
So you never had scoliosis? No.
Well, the hunchback thing from before the spikes came out now.
My posture's not the best either way.
Either way. Either way.
How do we know you're not just trying to create a sympathetic
story to get us to, I don't know, have some sort of sympathy
for you? Because, I mean, this could be
honest, kind of sounds like bullshit.
And could be fair wings and horns redskin kind of demon
like. I'm a condemned soul trying to
save whatever bit of humanity that I had left.
The only way that I could do that is to hunt down these
fucking beings. A demon with a conscience.
I wouldn't say conscience, it's more of a contract to try to
bring myself out of hell. That's a long, complicated back
story. We can get into that later.
What would you do when you're out of hell?
Live my fucking life. What are you going to do when
you get off this trash rock? Worship Ekka Lava.
Perfect. You've taken the opportunity for
me to live whatever pathetic existence that I had.
As a floating ghost thing in a tower that has no end, yeah,
that sounds like a great life. It's the only life I know.
Anyways, Dalton's going to look at the doctor and be like, is
there a way to possibly like, verify the claim that this realm
we recently came from no longer exist?
As you're saying that the doctor, she is frantically
typing on a computer terminal, trying to pull up any sort of
information about nowhere, and she looks back at you, just
drained of any color in her face, and she just shakes her
head no, like. It's gone.
Yeah, it is gone and it's your
fucking fault. What the fuck is happening?
I, I say as I wave around my sandwich.
So do we know if that tube thing will will hold a demon?
I mean, we we're pretty sure about a necromancer, but like.
Whoa, As you're saying that, you can just see Zalia just drop,
realizing that or their only chance to redeem themselves is
gone. And you see the spikes retract
and the wings fold back in and the flesh start to reform over
the black ooze that was covering her body.
And she sits there and the tattered clothing that was on
and she's just drained and somber.
And she looks at the three of you and says, I think it's time
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Welcome back, play on the face. These guys have just found out
that they completely condemned the realm of nowhere by getting
in the way of Zalia. And with Zalia unveiling her
true self, all black oohs and spikes and wings, she's sitting
in this plexiglass jail cell completely drained and not
responding to any sort of interaction.
They'll hit the button to electrocute her.
Nothing. At this point, the doctor looks
at the three of you. We need to talk.
You guys go back to your room. I'm going to try talking with
Zalia and see if I can get some more information.
So what I'm hearing is she was actually honest, you're shaken,
and you sent us to basically kill a dementia.
Yes, we will have to. Does that mean we get bonus time
off of our sentences? I was about to say something,
yeah. Are we the monsters or are you
really? Grabs the last duck, puts his
mouth close. His mouth chomps with the
squirmy duck in his right cheek. Like you.
You see, like the movements? At least his mouth is closed
This. Time.
Thank you. Go back to your room, let me
collect myself and figure out. I'm not doing fucking shit.
I'm going back to my room because I'm tired of being
around that and points to Talia and the doc.
Colette, please go back to the room.
Let me collect my thoughts, let me get some more information
from her, and we will figure out exactly what is going to happen
from this point on or I send you back into general population
with no guarantee of ever getting off this rock.
I shake. My finger because like, I can't
do anything. I'm fucked one way or I'm fucked
another. As of right now, Colette can't
think of a strategy, so the only thing she could do right now is
like just point her finger like furiously and say like innocent
people Wasn't on the fucking contract lady.
So before you send us somewhere there'd better need be no
fucking casualties. I bite my sandwich and I leave.
So as Paul escorts you guys back to your room, you can see he's
shaking as well. He's like, I had no fucking clue
that any of that shit was going on.
I thought you guys were just going to clean up some bullshit.
I didn't realize there was fucking demons and shit going on
my. Bad.
We didn't know either. I had an inkling about it.
Did you? Did you, Donnie?
I thought there would have been more gears.
Involved, OK. Mecca Lama teaches that there is
an upseason A downsies and well, this was clearly part of the
downsies. And I thought that the black
stuff would have been oil. OK, great.
And as he kind of ushers you back in, he just closes the
store and it's like, I don't fucking know what's going on.
And he takes off. Dalton goes back to his journal
addendum. Well, today had a bit of a curve
to it. Turns out demons are real.
My companions seem to not be handling it too well.
My stoic self is still processing this information and
then just kind of like trails off.
As you guys are sitting here, there's no windows in this room.
It's that fluorescent light that's giving you that sunshine
vitamin D feel. Dalton was writing in his
journal and speaking out loud. Colette was flashing back to
what started her sentence. She flashes back to that night
outside of a warehouse. It is dark, it is cold.
A man is standing panicked next to her.
In front of her is a corpse, a person who is freshly shot, and
there is a gun in her hand. And like it's all flashes of
memories. It's her looking at the body,
looking at the gun, looking at the panicked man trying to calm
him down. The panicked man running away
her taking off her gloves, holding the gun, turning around
to see the police and the first person that she sees is the
detective that was hunting her for years.
His name is Kenda Carver. And the last thing she remembers
is the detective Carver walking up to her with handcuffs and
flashes back to her. And like, her attention comes
back to the room and she's like, and some people weren't on the
fucking menu, guys, where do we draw the line?
The. Phrase You can't make an
omelette without breaking eggs does seem to reply here, but I
also can sympathize with your concern about innocence.
I honestly don't know how to reply about the apparent reality
that we wiped a plane of existence out of the multiverse.
It's. A big There's a big omelette.
And that is I I don't even have the words to expand on that.
And as you say that, you hear a horn in the background.
And as you hear the horn, the lights dim, and you know that
from being in the diaper swamp colony that it's time to hit the
barracks, to hit the sheets. Next day rolls around.
You hear, bright and early, a knock on the door.
It's Doctor Throckmorton, and she looks at the three of you.
Get ready, I have some information for you.
Gives you guys your time to shit, shower, shave, do all that
you're going to do, and she leads you back into the same
room that you were in when she sent you off to nowhere, with
the seats and the straps and everything.
But not only is it just her, it's Harold, the big hulking
mass with his mouth stitched together and Zalia sitting
there. What?
The. Fuck in different clothing in
her human form. I just like point.
I will explain. The doctor says.
Zalia and I have come to an agreement.
She is going to help us help her.
It's it's a joint venture. Basically, you guys are going to
be inhabiting these bodies as you were before.
You will meet a point of contact that is a hell spawn much like
Zalia in this realm, and you're going to assist them by taking
out those malefactors, these demons, and bringing the demons
back here so that these hell spawn can deal with them
themselves. Contract is still the same every
mission that you guys accomplish.
Time off your sentence. So I'm understanding this
correctly. You sold us to demons to do
their work for them. It could be understood as that.
So if I understand this correctly, 2 mommies?
Well, I think that sounds like he's in.
Colette is just pondering, like, taking it all in.
OK, you're gonna be informing us who your partner is in this
world that we're going to. Correct.
So they. Get to keep that world to their
liking. Everybody's hunky Dory.
Yes. So all we gotta do is just take
out these demons then? Assist the health spawn in these
respective areas to take out the demons that are looking to
destroy it. Come back alive.
You guys get your prison sentence reduced, you get off
this trash filled rock and you get to live.
What's to say that there's not a demon on your home planet right
now looking to destroy it? Everything that you love and
cherish. Dalton kind of like perks up at
that. So I'm hearing that dealing with
these demons, we are hopefully saving an unimaginable number of
lives. Unimaginable.
These demons are out to destroy these worlds to build up their
count of souls in Hell. Typical modus operandi for
demons, I guess. For whatever reason, we don't
know, this is something when you bring us these demons with the
hell spawn in these respective realms, we will get this
information almost the same way that we in.
I apologize for that Azealia. That was completely
unprofessional. The way we dealt with her is how
we will we will find a way to deal with these demons to find
out exactly what they're looking to do.
Your mission is to get to these realms, meet up with the point
of contact, these health spawn and assist them to get these
demons off those planes. Now, I'm not going to call you
heroes because we all know you're not.
We all know that you're doing it for a reason, whether it's to
save lives or get time off your prison sentence or whatever.
I don't care. I've.
Never been one for labels, but if we're going to do this
honesty from here on out, no information goes unset.
And I look at Dalton and Donnie too, and whatever information I
got you 2 are going to get it too.
All right. The more information you guys
have, the better you can do what we need you to do.
I look at my friends and I go, I trust you too, with my life.
And I don't say that to just anybody.
Dalton, you're smart. It's fuck.
And Donnie, you got a lot of Hutzpah.
I like that. We make a pretty good fucking
team. Yes, as much as I would hate to
admit it but both of you do have your uses and after my arrival
to this shit hole you 2 have also been the most reliable
sources I have yet to encounter. I don't know what Hutzpah is,
but I'm glad I have it. It's a good thing, Donnie.
I pat Donnie on the shoulder. That being said, she ushers you
guys over to the seats. There's no time like the
present. We're sending you off to a place
called the Arcadia City. You're going to be meeting up
with a person by the name of Tongue Guska.
That's going to be the hell spawn point of contact.
I know that it is a very desolate area that you're going
to be sent into. I don't know exactly where
you're going to be sent or what situation you will be in.
I'm being completely transparent, but we're going to
get you as close to Tunguska as we possibly can.
That being said, buckle up. It's time to go all.
Right. And Harold straps you guys in,
puts the bit in your mouth, great looks at the three of you,
gives you all thumbs up. I give a thumbs up.
Real awkward thumbs up. I try to take a bite of my
sandwich from yesterday, but damn it.
And they pull the lever and everything goes black.
The three of you instantly wake up to the sounds of high octane
engines revving loud vehicles. Everybody roll me AD 20.
All right. Oh, Mad Max.
Here we go. I got an 18.
Shiny and Chrome. Just walk away.
I got a 716. OK Thomas, you find yourself in
the front seat of a car. If you look down and there's but
one pedal on the far right. Mr. Paschke, you find yourself
in a vehicle just behind somebody you perceive would be
Dalton. There's no steering wheel, there
is a no shit bar and a pedal in the middle.
Gambino. You find yourself pointing back
with a turret mounted machine gun as these engines are
revving, flames coming out of the exhaust and smoke billowing
up. You see beyond you a figure
holding a little flag, and you hear 3 horns.
Flag drops before everybody takes off, the three of you here
in your head. Don't fuck this up, don't get
cut by these metal cars because you will get infected.
This episode of Flail the Face features the game Human Occupied
Landfill by Todd Shaughnessy, Daniel Thrawn and Chris Elliott,
Hell spawned by Richard Marker and Lee Iovis, and Wasteland
DeGeneres by Scott C McDonald and Matthew Mislinski.
With Thomas Ginostomi playing Dalton Walls, Tom Gambino
playing Colette Stellerno, Charles Patchi playing Donnie,
and Kevin Welch's Game Master. Season 2 theme music is Void
Construct by Alex Grol, editing by Kevin Welch, episode art by
Tom Gambino, video editing by Dan Finey, and on behalf of the
cast and crew of Flail of the Face, we want to thank all the
listeners for sticking with us. Without you, season 2 wouldn't
be a thing. So if you could do us a favor,
like subscribe and follow on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
Blue Sky and YouTube. Yep, we're on there too and
share with all your friends so we can get out there to more
people. With that being said, thank you
for listening and we'll catch you guys next time.
Oh, I see you've had Malort as well.
Oh. It smells like Sal.
Kyle's going to make a fireball joke.
Yours is better. Yeah, all right.
Now kiss now. Now this is pod racing.
Next episode we're going to get into Wasteland Degenerates.
Wasteland degenerates, so we the good guys.
Are the bad guys. We're just assholes.
Man, I take a bite of. My sandwich.
My soul needs a sandwich now. Am I playing as as a bit of a
smarmy kind of asshole Too much? No, no, it's perfectly fine.
I was actually. It's fine, we're all kind of
douchebags. So we are kind of.
You're all putting. Offense not even douchebag.
Haven't even eating. Live babies.
Ducklings in duck sauce Duck. Is a normal dish for humans to
eat cooked? That's just subjective.
Hey, that's for you, Normie.