Greeting Scum, Happy Merc Tober, and Welcome to Foil to the Face.
My name is Cannibal Chris, and I'm gonna be our GM again as we
dig deeper into Doomkirk. This is Doomkirk Part 5.
Hello. I am Levi.
Bye What a super. Weird, terrible person.
And I'm Thomas playing We Met. I'm Kevin.
I'm playing Rundle. And Barbie here.
Oh God. Oh, that's his voice.
I remember now, I. Love it.
I'm Nate, and I'm playing Mayor Cedric Flail.
So last we left you guys, you were deep in combat with this
pale one. All four or five of you were on
one side of this broken hallway that was broken by a worm
tunnel. This pale one stands on the
other side of this. It's elongated appendages,
elongated neck, melted face, gossamer white robes and a sly
hander, Weemut went. We're right in the middle of
initiative. I don't know what we were
thinking, just let's just stop it in the middle of initiative.
But Weemut went, the rest of the party is yet to go.
And then the pale one was last in initiative.
So and he is, or it is hard to say, damaged.
We'll go with that, but still. In his nose you did well, that's
that's why he's damaged. That's probably one of the few
reasons why he's damaged. Either way, that leaves
everybody else in the party to do what they will.
Who wants to do what? Well, where am I?
Where is Barnaby DeVito standing?
You are I. Remember you got pulled up out
of the trench by there was a somebody I.
Think there was a little map somewhere.
Yeah, I have a little map. OK, I got one right here.
I have a my dad pictures drawn out and everything.
Where am I? In location to the pale one you
are across the worm tunnel on, standing on the edge of this
broken hallway as it is on the other side of.
The closest of people, yes. Yep.
And again like I said, this is a pretty good distance across.
I realized at the end of last episode I said that like long
weapons could probably reach this, but thinking it's a 20
foot wide tunnel, it probably isn't true.
So it can't be that wide because you already did some stuff
across from it. So it's not it's only 10 people.
I'm. Going to pick up a rock and
throw it? You're going to pick up a rock
and throw it. That's a pale 1.
Go for it. Yeah, There's rocks all over.
The place is underground. So yeah, give me your presence
test. Oh.
Fuck, I shouldn't have done that.
Well, it's a dirty 1A dirty one, all right, that's a straight up
fail, so you pick up a rock and just whip it over the shoulder.
Did I get them? No.
No, sorry. These old shoulders, they're
just not what they used to be. It's probably from all that milk
and milk. You're not wrong.
You're not. Wrong right out in the money.
And worms thinking when they're when they're young, they're nice
and. Easy.
We don't have time for no weird. Steve.
That's why these fingers. When they're young, they're
still that's gross. I'm going to try and stab this
thing with the Bulls. OK, go for it.
Give me strength. You're 12.
Fine. OK, Yeah.
That's a 19. Beautiful.
Give me the damage, please. OK, 5 -?
D6. I knew it.
I fucking knew it was big. It's big -6.
Oh fuck. Wonderful.
So you thrust the voles at it and it stabs through its linens.
Just going to rip through it and then that's it.
We're right about Rundle and Lefty.
I kind of want to move back. Too, by the way, you're going to
kind of back up on the end of the hall and get out of, like,
off the edge of the Cliff there. Yeah.
OK. You know, I'm not one for
running away, but I think we should.
Let's get out of here. You're leaving with.
Then I'm just backing up out of range of this giant sword.
Oh, got you. I'm not in the greatest
position, like I do have some skeleton armor for the time
being, but my like actual HP is 3 out of 11.
So OK, I got you. That's a lot.
What do you have? Speaking of which.
I have 5 out of eight. OK, you're doing all right.
Well, don't have any armor. I have 12, OK, what about?
What about you guys? I'm just getting a little.
I'm at 7 OK. At 7-8 out of eight.
Oh, OK, great. Everyone's doing pretty great.
Do you? Do you have some healing stuff,
don't you? Yeah, but I don't want to waste.
It on you. I know that's the problem.
I think answering you in character you just.
Become another person. Locked in?
I don't know. All right.
What about you, Kevin? Yeah.
Rundle's going to pull fun up out of his satchel and my
friend, What do you think I should do in this situation?
Give me AD 8. OK.
What the fuck is he doing? I.
Don't think he's talking to his. Oh, that's a one.
OK, and then give me a presence test.
Presence test. That's a six, OK.
It doesn't fucking matter. We're all gonna die here.
Become one with the worms of this place.
It doesn't matter. Nothing fucking matters.
And because of his very nihilistic words, incur a -, 3
penalty to all of your roles for D4 hours.
Oh my God, that sucks. He goes friends, sucks Dick.
That's why he keeps him around. Your friends asshole.
And that's gonna be 4. Three hours. 3 hours.
To be fair though, you wrote this yourself, Kevin.
That's your fault. Yeah.
Oh, I know you did this. To you.
I did this to me. -3 to all roles for three hours.
That's insane. OK, well, so be it.
This thing then. Cause did you?
OK, so you guys are all kind of in.
Oh, you're Barnaby. You're in range for sure of this
Zlayander. Assuming he doesn't progress,
you two are not we met. It probably isn't either, cuz
he's probably in the back of the yeah, he's shooting right and
Rundle probably is. Just wanna get a net 20 on this
motherfucker. Break some armor.
Got it. This thing leaps the you can
kinda see it load its legs. It's really spindly legs and
leaps across this thing with the sly hander raised overhead, and
it looks like it's coming at you.
Two guys give me AD two and one is going to be Barnaby and two
is going to be Rundle. Go ahead, Rundle.
This is what I wanted. To avoid, Yep, D2.
It's a one. It's a one that's got Barnaby.
No, Barnaby. Give me ADR 12 agility test.
Oh boy. How can he jump so high he can
walk so slow? Those disgusting twig legs.
Agility, you said yes. That's 12 on the nuts.
Oh my God. OK, so you see this thing leap
across this, and with its Slyhander raised, and it's
coming right before you, Barnaby.
And you. What do you do to get out of the
way? He tried some milk.
Oh, I I have a coughing fit from the spittle in my mouth.
OK, damn it. We.
Forgot about the fucking worms
again. Yeah, and so Barnaby with his
coughing fit, the IT kind of retracts from the range of this
and it sinks into the side of the collision ground and just
shatters the stone. My weird comb over kind of like
Donald Trump fluffs in the wind that's pretty good at this
thing. Then this pale one is in the
bottom of the trench kind of right down in the bottom between
the two broken parts of the tunnel with that role
initiative. Anybody we're going to go Rundle
do. It.
OK, that's a 5, but. Minus three.
A -, 3 to any role, right. It does say any role.
Fuck, that's any personal role. I'm gonna say, though, just to
make that so you don't get fucked entirely.
And I don't think that that would apply to the entire party,
though. You know what I'm saying?
So that is a. But to be fair, I didn't make
Grundle roll it. Yeah, you did this.
OK, Yes, let's do that. So 5 -, 3 is a 2I.
Didn't have to talk, voyeered myself.
I don't know. Got this.
Scaring this fly, man so it weeps again out of this thing
and again Rundle. You're the only one standing
there towering. Yeah, I bet it like kind of
kicks up the the, the, the close side of this tunnel and it like,
swings its sword in an upward slash as it does so.
DR12 Agility. All right, that's easy.
For you, not now. That's a nine my.
Agility is +3 and I have -3 to all rolls, so you're rolling rod
then. I have an omen you want to
spend, I actually. No, Save your omen.
I have an omen. OK, I'm gonna lower.
Yeah, I'm. Gonna reduce?
Yeah, it's this Y hand reduced by 4, so you'll end up as with
an 8 Dr. So A9 beats, A9 succeeds.
You don't want that Dr. 10 on you.
OK, great. So what is what is this this
blade? You see?
It is coming right at you and it's about to decapitate you.
What is he saved? Think or do to or initiate the
open and then that's saving him. Seeing this by Hander coming
straight down for him he he already knows that fun up has
basically just said you know it doesn't matter whether you die
or not and he just kind of the the fly sort of just split like
it did on the other attack. Yeah, with the the hands.
And just remember split him basically in two as this by
hander goes between him and then reforms.
That's awesome. Very cool.
That's you guys then. I want to be flies and it lands
kind of back down in there because it didn't quite run up
it, but it like kind of ran up it to get the close the
distance. I'm out of skilled.
I'm. I'm beaten.
Up the halfpipe, Yeah, yeah, Ran up the halfpipe.
That's kind of what it looked like, probably.
And you're standing up on top of it.
Fuck you, Tony Hawk. I'm dusting off these shit boots
and I'm getting out of here. How?
Wide is this tunnel. We're in this.
Fucking guy. Well, the hallway that you guys
are standing in is probably so this guy.
'S in front of us? Which is no.
It's gotta be wider than that considering you guys are all
clustered, isn't it? So probably 10 feet wide.
Fuck, this guy's in front of us. Yeah, he's in the bottom of this
trench and that that trench is about 20 foot diameter, right?
So you think if it's a complete circle it's 20.
So he's like 10 feet down, 'cause it probably broke this
thing half you evenly split. Are we running?
Is that what we're doing? I want to run.
Those worms on this thing. Oh yeah, those.
Well, I don't have, I don't have control, these Dick wranglers.
Oh, let me touch him. I can speak with the worms.
Oh, bitch. Slip your finger and do
something. Take a tickle.
What? Are you talking about?
I don't want to know what your fucking love language.
Just get those motherfuckers in there.
I take out my warm rain whip thing and I crack it above them
and I I don't know how to give me a presence test.
Yeah. Oh, OK.
This is how he warms them up. Give me another one for the
other one, OK? You're doing it for.
Two, that was a -1 and a Nat one.
OK. So you crack this whip.
The one just kind of Burrows into like a little ball, sort
of. What are you doing?
And the other one turns at you, bears its fucking teeth.
You didn't let me, Malcolm, So I think they're they're not
domesticated. These things, by the way, are as
big as a hound, have huge long yellow teeth, tiny eyes and long
nasty spikes all over. This is way different than what
I imagined. I figured as mine.
That's why I said it that way, yeah.
You imagine the fucking what? James and the giant Peach
motherfucker like him. I don't know what you're talking
about. Earthworm that was like the size
of a poodle are. You going to get attacked by
these? I don't know.
It did turn on you. Yeah.
I feel like it's your turn though.
But yeah, and it turned out you, menacingly and threateningly
with the worm could convey such ideas.
Unfortunately, what I'm thinking here is that we need to pass
this guy. We don't have a lot of options
for directions. We at this point, we got to jump
over him. Oh, that's kind of bad At the 20
foot gap though. It's a huge fucking jump.
All right, I want to just. Use them as a stepping stone on
the. Can I can I pick up these worms
and then jump and then jump off this guy's head?
Wait, so you're. Going to Super Mario this.
Yeah, kind of what I was thinking.
So you're going to grab these worms underarm, right?
Like. Pigs the size of hounds.
They are big, yeah. They're like Pekingese.
They're tiny. He's a big guy though.
He he he probably carries around corpses so he can chop them up.
So I mean, lifting a big old body isn't a big problem for
him. I've been carrying around a
golden skeleton. Yeah, that's also.
True man, any collared collared carried a nook around while he
was doing that before. So that's not a gut.
Those are just huge ABS. I'm packing some serious.
You got the serious core strength.
Oh, my God. OK, so you're gonna pick them up
under arm. You're gonna try to jump off of
his head. And then if I have to, I'll drop
the worms on them. Like a bomb.
Like a landmine. Yeah, the worm.
Bombs. The one's pissed off, so one is
pissed off. That's true.
OK, so that's a lot of things. A lot of them are pretty
ridiculous. Let me do some rolls here.
Yeah. So the first thing I'm gonna
have you do picking up those flail worms is probably kind of
the feet on their own. On its own.
Especially since the one is pissed so and I want to say
strength for that because you're going to muscle them.
I want to call that just to give you the benefit of the doubt of
14. There's, there's because it
should be harder than that, but I want.
To give you one of them rolled, curled up in a ball, yeah, so
the ball one probably isn't the hardest to pick up.
And we use an old one. Got a 5 on that roll.
Oh my God. What am I going for?
Strength. That's 1414 on the nuts.
On the nuts. OK, so you pick them both up,
then you go to try to jump on it's head.
Oh. A jump and like, land on his
head and then make it to the other side.
Goomba style, right? That's a 10 foot jump to like
bounce off of a dude and then jump again.
We're above it. You are.
That doesn't make it a lot easier.
It does make it slightly easier. I guess.
Superhuman. I'm gonna call that a 16 agility
test. Yeah.
If you can make that 16 agility test then I feel like you can
manage that no? I used my last omen.
You got you got a 7 on that? No.
Oh God. 21 God fucking damn it. OK, so you tell me about that,
Levi, what exactly does this guy do after he scoops up the what
his lefty do after he scoops up these dogs?
I'm. Going to boot Scoon Boogie and
get on out of here. And then he jumps and then he
kind of like plants on this guy's head.
It's kind of squishing him down like an accordion and then drop
kick him kind of on his head, yeah.
He's weird. And it springs off to the other
side. That, I mean, you succeeded the
role. So yeah, OK.
So we'll call that a little bit of damage, even because you did
stomp on his head. We'll call that D2 damage for
unarmed damage. But I'm wearing shit covered
boots. Does it hurt more because of
that? It smells more.
Not hurting. So no, no bonus.
Pisses him off more Could be. OK.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Yeah, he does have pretty decent damage resistance, but you hear
like the neck crack underneath your weight crunching and you
land on the other side but just barely come.
On Get over here. Does anybody else think that
capable of that? I I'm like 447.
Just use the milker as a plank the the milker is.
He talking? About me, I mean.
He's told anybody else that he calls the milker milker.
I don't know what to do now. I think it's we might and you.
Yeah, we. But it's just like if he could
do it. I mean, let's hold the B back
that's there. Just try to follow.
You got this. You're gonna try to Mario stomp
him too? I'm gonna try it.
All right. Well, you don't have worms under
your arms, so I'm gonna call that a 14.
Yeah, and I have no omens. So this is going to be a this is
a ridiculously low Dr. for this. I feel like his should have been
an 18 and these should have been sixteens.
Well, I got 21 anyway. Yeah, but still.
That is an 11, that's an 11. So you you keeping that 11?
I have no omens, so yes, OK, you jump.
You leap off of the edge of this all broken hallway into aiming
for this pale one's head. And instead you do land on him,
but you kind of crumble into him as he does too.
So both both of you take D2 damage.
So roll D2 and just use that number for both of you all.
Right, that's one each give you the benefit out there.
He will absorb the damage, of course, with his armor, so you
don't have to worry about that, but you might not.
I. Don't you have your cousin
Shield? I I do have the shield of faith
on my back, 'cause I was wielding a bow, OK?
And you don't have any armor, do you?
I do not. OK, so you'll just take the one
Probably. Unless you want to, while the
shield is on your back. That's a good point.
Which probably hurts, 'cause that landed on you.
Well, you carried it with you, so.
And his bones. Yeah, his bones.
And nothing hurts. OK.
So yeah, you and this pale one are kind of in the pile of
bodies in a in a heap on the bottom of this worm tunnel here.
You'll get them next time. Hey, that that's a lot harder
than it looked guys. It's pretty easy actually.
Shut up, shut up. So what about Rundle?
Here he was standing at the end of the Cliff, watching this all
happen. Yeah.
Dog pilot. He can't attack everyone at
once. True.
Kind of a valid point. Taking the fun of words to air
quote, heart. You know, being as we're all
going to be just dead anyways. He's going to take out his
warhammer and he's going to jump and.
Swing it right at him. I love it.
That's really cool. And considering that he's on,
he's down on the ground, you've got a height advantage.
Let's give that a little bit of an easier Dr. for an 8 an 8
calling it two drop downs, one for your your jumping down into
it, and one for the fact that he's down South -4 total.
Yeah, cut off his legs. That's a 13 minus my 3 on all my
rolls. So that's a 10.
So I'll roll hit. Hey, that would have That would
have succeeded even if I only dropped it once.
Nice. OK.
And oh, D6, that's a 5 -, a three.
So it's two points of damage. OK, two points of damage.
And he's got D6 armor. Yes.
Oh, Oh yeah, I don't think. Damage.
I don't think damage counts. I mean the wording that.
With our initiative, yeah, that's.
Come on, it says all the fact that Kevin was by default just
doing that. I mean, that's how it works,
apparently. So I mean, you know.
All. Right, so on his armor 2.
So none. OK, yeah.
So it absorbed the blow. It's stupid.
You like you. You hit it, like right in the
forearm of its off hand. No reaction to it.
You know what I mean? Like that didn't hurt.
Like you would assume that there will be some kind of reaction,
but it had none. OK.
Maybe next time hit him with some oomph instead of blowing on
him. Whatever you're doing down
there. So I I believe Cedric and
Barnaby are left. No.
Barnaby pissed off the worms. That was his turn.
Cedric's the only one left here, and he's halfway down the
tunnel. Well, not halfway, but he's.
I'm not at the precipice. This is fucking horrible.
Come on, it's real weird. If I jump with intention, with
the intention of making it over there, I'm going to fall.
You can land on my ass. You can use Thomas as a a
springboard. Enjoy.
I have to imagine that the pile of bodies that's down there is a
lot lower than the pill when standing in there, you know what
I mean? So you're not going to be able
to use it as the same springboard that you did?
Miraculously, I assumed Thomas was like, on top of this guy's
head. You.
Know they're they're, they're pretty much laying on the
ground. They did, yeah, they figured.
Yeah, we just like kind of. They're laying on the ground
each other, yeah. And that Rundle's even down
there, I can't jump 20 feet and I have 3 HP.
Can't even jump the milker. Can't do 10.
It's. Amazing that you guys can do 10.
Can I always use the milker? Shit, what do I do?
Come on, we don't have time for this.
This is horrible. Just go for it.
Don't I'll. I'll shoot you up.
I'll get you your fix, bud.
Just walk. I'll get you your fix.
Just walk away. I'll get you your fix.
Don't worry like 18. But to jump make it across, to
jump across, I would call it in 18, yeah.
If you're trying to make a 20 foot far jump long jump
springboard, there's nobody that's only a 16.
They're all 8 feet below me. That's about right.
Yeah, he's preoccupied too, so you could just as easily run
down the half pipe and up. There's other ways that is just.
American Ninja Warrior. Yeah, that curved wall or
whatever they call it, yeah. The warp wall.
That's what it is. Feeling lucky?
Yeah, I'll try to do that and like if I can.
I'll, I'll, I'll stick a hand out for helping.
A hand. Yeah, I'll try to stick.
One fucking vulge in the wall and.
So you're gonna kind of like slide down it and then run
across and kind of climb the other side with your bulge.
OK. So I wanna call that because
that's not that hard to do, but you're trying to do it in a
timely manner to get out. You're trying to get across
before anything else pops up, right?
If anything else happens, yeah. And I wanna put my bulge in
there specifically so that I have.
Like if I don't make it, obviously I'll have an right a
little bit more of an option for getting up there next.
I'm going to call that a 14 to do by default, but using the
vulge the way you're going to use it.
We'll call it a 12. OK, Agility, I assume.
Yes, yeah, of course. Please fuck.
Fuck me. Yay 17 beautiful.
OK, yeah, so 19. Damn.
Tell. Me about it then that's exactly
what I do. I I I just slide down the side
that I'm on. I fuck it.
Step all over this big ass dude. He's just right in the middle
anyway. I'm not going to fuck just.
Oh, not the face, you. Can probably go around him.
Honestly. Consider how long is.
The rest of us down here please stab my vulge into the walls and
like. A lad in your way up there.
Yeah, do the swing. Just pull pull my weird old
ghost ass up. There you get 19 I mean.
God damn it. Fucking.
Catch that street rat? Oh my.
God. Oh my God.
If I had Peps to ship, I would have shipped them.
So on the far side of this now is Lefty and Cedric.
Oh, you're you're still on the close end.
The and you started the most Barnaby character.
Debatable and and Weemed and Rundle are in the trench with
the Pale 1, the Pale one and Weemed both prone more or less
with that. Let's roll initially to the
Gannon. Let's have Weemed do it.
I call it on them. That's a four.
A4 Okay, that's you guys. I wanna stick these worms on
them, give them distraction. Okay, how are you doing it?
I'm just gonna throw the worms at them.
He's gonna throw the worms, Okay.
We'll call it a presence test, cuz you're throwing it right?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Yeah, that's considering it ranged.
We'll call that a 14 because that's kind of tough.
The ones thrashing around put a bit.
So throw out, I'm just going to. Throw these ones.
It's like a word the size of a of owl.
Except. This flailing around, it's like
you're trying to throw a baby. These are Pekingese.
Yeah, and it doesn't want to be thrown like all babies.
They want to be thrown. Look at them.
There were two If you were students, who would be down like
2, like 2 on the Dr. scale. The young ones are squishy.
He's good at throwing around babies.
Oh. Killing base.
Rest in. Filth, that's.
A good number? I I throw them out?
Do I do 2 rolls? Why not?
You have two things. OK.
They just kind of throw them
both in the pit. So you throw them both and one
one of them goes into the pit, but it falls way short, kind of
slides down the close wall. The other one lands on the end
of the angry one because it was hard to throw.
Do its thrashing Lands right on the end of this.
Press the end of the Cliff and it's like it's an at you.
Oh. God, you'll behave over there.
Don't make me kick you down there.
What about the rest of you Maniacs Speaking of?
Weenit's going to try to untangle himself and try to
scramble to the other side. OK, Yep, that probably doesn't
require a roll to do because you're just getting up off the
ground and running over there. Oh, maybe it does.
He's entangled with. The he is entangled with this
thing. Yeah.
I suppose if you fail, you're not OK.
Now give me ADR 12 Agility. That's an 18.
Beautiful, yeah. You managed to untangle yourself
from the pale one's body from its limbs and run across to the
other side and run up the wall and grab it and pull yourself
up, only to see that there is one of these flail worms, as you
saw it come down too, like, kind of right at the same time that
you're going up it the other one right at the top of this Cliff.
So you pretty much came up the clip to see his ass and.
And it like hisses and I'm just like I grab it by the tail and
just try to flip it over my. Head Yeah, go ahead, pull in.
There, I like that that call it a Strength 12.
Yeah, I don't do that. OK, you grab, you grab it's tail
at the end of its body or whatever.
I mean, it turns around and hisses at you.
Oh boy, this poor worm. Yeah, you're just real in
defensive mode I think. What about the rest of you guys?
Or we would soon. It's kidding.
That might be because who also draws this thing's aggro?
Yeah, No. Shit, Rundle's gonna see that we
met, ran up the side, or at least tried to, and he's gonna
do the same thing. Yeah, you're standing up there
still. You kinda came down with your
hammer smash face. Yeah, so agility.
Yes, 12. Actually it'd be easier for you,
probably because you're not tangled up.
So 10. OK.
Well, it's still a six, so. OK.
Well, so yeah, you've done it. You see Wima do that.
You run up there, you go like run up the side to grab the
Cliff, but you're too short and you just kind of slide down on
your belly. This looks really.
Sad. Pathetic.
Yeah. Pathetic.
Then we got Cedric and Barnaby's, though it just looks
so sad in my mind. I'd be like, oh dude, you gonna
die. What's the?
You're standing there. With Lefty Cedric, and you've
got that angry flail worm now paying attention to Weenits
Barnaby. You are.
Where are you? Again, he's on the opposite.
Yeah, you're standing on the far side from everyone.
Else now flail my flatty body through the air and try to pull
Volt with my staff. Using the pale one's head.
You're gonna OK, so you're gonna with your staff like you're
gonna plant it into the pale one and like pull.
All the I'm gonna get, I'm gonna step back like 2 feet from the
edge and then take just this awkward sprinting run and then
fly through the air. He just describes the worst
things for himself. Let's call it ADR 14 Agility.
OK, I use my omen. OK.
Because that was not a good. Number.
Neither is that or that's a. 6 Is that locked in now?
That's fucking locked in tight. OK, so you you like take a
running start with your with your with your staff.
I used to be the best back in high school.
You leap and you plant that staff down into what you assume
to be the pale one's face, right?
But instead it grabs both its arms, grabs this thing, and it
throws you down the corridor and you land.
Take AD 6 damage, and we'll call it that to the Pale One's turn
as well. As it throws you 22 damaged, do
you have armor? No, Sir.
OK, so just a flat two. Yeah.
You land with a crash like 20 feet down the hall, down the
core, down this worm tunnel to the north.
That's not good. No.
And then I guess that is, it's turned by, I assume that it'll
get up as it does that. And then the flail worms.
The one what? Freak it.
Out the foil worm in the tunnel tries to like, like, wriggle its
way back up. No, you stay down.
There and and there's. Rundle's like laying with his
like stomach against this thing. He sees the kind of wriggling
path, but the other one on top. It bites at your face, which is
peeking up over this Cliff. Give me ADR.
Well, it would be a 12 agility, but you're kind of holding
yourself onto this, so we're going to call it a 14.
Yeah, no, that's a solid hit. It's a solid hit.
OK, take D6 damage as this thing bites your your would be your
nose cavity. That is too damage.
That's nothing. OK, not bad.
It's hard to bite. Bone doesn't hurt a lot.
I imagine it's still kind of like hanging on to like my nose
area, so like to like the holes, it's like.
Yeah, it's it's got like, some of its teeth through your eye
socket. Oh, you have an eyeball.
Never mind. So he he just got like your nose
and your upper jaw, just like I love that.
He's holding the tail and that thing's now like bent into you
biting his face, completed the circuit.
Yeah, a rubber rose. Anyway, that puts us to
initiative again. Let's have Cedric roll it.
Mayer Oh, mayonnaise, that's us. That's why it's you.
It's a six. Nice.
OK, what do you guys do? I'm glad to make it clear with
all the other problems that we have right now, right now round
about the time this is all over, I have a feeling that I'm going
to be attacked by my own skeleton.
So just to throw that out, there is another problem for everybody
also not doing too well. So that's likelihood of that
ending well is very low. Refresh me again how long it is
before that happens. Oh, it's 10 rounds, isn't it
actually? Or 10 minutes of combat.
Do something like that. No, I rolled it.
That's a nine. That's a nine, and we'll call
that we already ran 4 rounds. Yeah, I'm not sure that's
accurate, but it sounds good to me.
It is. No, I don't have it in the worst
possible situation. No, you're fine.
I'm not you're. You're away from the big guy.
I'm down on the court. I have to in order to get up the
wall. Just run down the worm tunnel.
Is this like a subway? Yeah, that's a great way to look
at it. Yeah, it's like they were on the
platform. Yeah, there's a.
Whole OK, Yeah. So I have to go back towards
him. Maybe I'm 20 feet away.
Yeah, just go. Up and And the platform is real,
real small because it's just a core.
It's just a hallway. So it's 10 feet wide if you
think about it. Yeah, Yeah, real small platform.
It's about 10 feet up too, because.
Can I? Can I do some like warm
whispering and feel the tunnel walls and see if the big worm is
going to come burrowing through anytime soon?
OK, so with that thought in mind, you're kind of feeling the
walls. You know the subway.
I know what you mean. Yep.
So you feel for that telltale
vibration and don't hear it. Don't feel it.
Well, shit, on a piddle stick. This ain't good.
And I'm going to. I'm going to try to it.
Does the pale one seem distracted?
Can I sneak up to the? It's standing there in the spot
that it was literally lying in, and it's just staring at you
with his lie. Hand that's not great.
Yeah, it's just facing you. What's behind me?
Behind you, you, it's a tunnel. The tunnel does go Into
Darkness, but you do see not for not much further down.
If you were to keep going in the direction that you were thrown,
it looks like it opens up into a room because you see what will
again look kind of like subway platforms, but but are longer.
I run that way. OK.
Yeah, you run that way and then you see as you kind of come to
an open area that this room is quite open.
You you could be you're still again, you're in the bottom of
this tunnel, so everything is like 10 feet above you, you know
what I mean? But you see just a large room
from your perspective, I suppose you can't see much else that you
were currently in. So we'll leave you there because
that's probably enough of a return for you to run that far
rock. Let's see, Cedric went right.
No. Oh, you said things you can't.
You talking with your turn is going to get worse.
OK, so it's everybody the Barnaby.
Weemit Weemit's going to pull himself up and then try to
dislodge this worm from his face and throw it at the pale 1.
OK. So I'm going to call that
Strength 14 to do all that at once.
Yeah, that's not happening. I got a 8.
Can I give him a helping hand? How does that look?
I'm just going to grab the tail and pull.
Going to grab the body because he's got the tail in his hand.
He's got this his. And then I'll grab his jowls.
Which are around his skull. Yeah.
OK, I'll grab his. Jowls to.
A12 if you still want to make. It to bring it to a 12.
Yeah, that's true. He still.
Can't make it. I'm mad at 8:00.
OK, ideally and we'll go back for that one, but like, oh I.
Got it. I got it.
Here. Here's what we do.
OK, yeah. So Baskins manages to grab the
worm, which lets me go, and then I just slide right back down
past. The other Worm and and Rundle.
Yeah, OK yeah, Rundle. And you're just like, right
there by the by the pale one's feet again.
Well, shit. Yeah, it's standing right there
in the bottom of the trams. That's unfortunate.
Staring up at him? Yeah, he's not noticing you
though. You see is is fixed very heavily
on the what's down the trail. Come on, currently, what about
the rest of you? Rundle's gonna grab the worm
that's trying to make his way up, pissing him off.
He's gonna try to grab him, throw it at the pale one and try
to skirt up the wall. I like that.
Everybody's planning. Yeah, just throw the worms at
the fucking pale one. OK?
So I'll call that ADR 14 strength.
Oh boy. Oh, that's a 19 minus it's a -,
1. For my strength, that's 18 and
that's -3 because I suck. So that is 15.
Full of success, So yeah, you. Grab that worm by the scruff of
its neck, whatever that looks, whatever part that is, and you
whip it at it. And we're gonna call that damage
to the to the pale one as this thing lands on it.
So that's D6 damage minus D 60. That's a one.
OK, never mind yeah, fuck yeah. It just fuds into the into its
thigh. So.
These worms are useless. But you do manage to crawl up to
the top of this, as while you're doing that, I'm going to start
heading back into the room where this thing came from.
OK, so you're going to just head down the hall.
You head down these little stairs then and into this
doorway. It's about as far as you get.
And you see that? This room?
Yeah, this dimly lit by candles. They're regardless of like, what
happens, it seems like these flames don't go out.
Strong smell of incense lingering, this basin of stale
water sitting to you, the right to view as you enter the room.
And at the far end you do see a large relief depicting uncanny,
almost human beings. They face you praying.
Looking down at the bottom is a small basilisk.
One head is being severed and the other protrudes with a
bloodied open mouth, looking up. That's what you've seen in this
room, right? Did I hear anything about exits?
No, actually, yeah. Again as you see that you you
you came in the only exit. That's unfortunate.
Then we're just left with Lefty, I believe.
I grabbed that. Oh no, you did that.
OK, never mind. So that's everything then?
It's the pale one. Who?
Even though he did get hit in the thigh by a worm, he just
kind of lumbers. Not lumbers, but the way that he
kind of lumbers slowly down the hallway, up this corridor,
towards the direction that Barnaby went.
Then the flail worms themselves, the one that you're holding,
turns its whips, its tail at you.
Bad boy. So give me ADR 12 agility test.
What's a nine? Give me it.
Gives you damage. Take D6 damage.
Sweet sweet touches as this. Flail tail whips, yeah.
Oh, that's a four. Oh no, Yikes.
This tail, you see, like it, it's a it's literally a flail on
the end of its tail, and it sinks.
All of its like all the spikes on one side is into your ribs
and it just sticks there. Just Enya.
Sturdy center and mast all. I didn't appreciate that at all.
No reaction, right? The other one continues off down
the hall in the other direction, down the corridor.
Like the opposite way that the hill isn't going really not
doing what it was supposed to be.
It's roll initiative. Barnaby, go ahead.
No. Barnabas.
Barnabas 3, That's them. So that one worm continues to
go, and at this point is lost into the darkness.
The Pale 1 continues lumbering down, and at this point,
Barnaby. You're kind of like standing
there looking around trying to get your bearings or whatever
kind of take in the room that you're in.
And you see him like the looming out of like the darkness of that
tunnel and he's about to about to move away from you.
So if you were to not move, you would get your next turn And the
flail worm in stuck currently in Lefty's ribs.
We can't. Do that for now.
You're on me. Yeah, and it.
We are one. Even though it's anchored by its
tail, it whips around to bite you with its mouth as well.
I. Still got a hold on his face.
You do. That's true.
My. Hand.
That's true. Yeah.
It's trying to, like, shake its head.
I would try to maybe sink teeth into you.
We're going to call that agility test ADR 10 because it's easier
since you've got and got the upper hand on it.
What's 9 give me? Another fail some more damage.
Brother, Yeah, you're all hurt, so take D6.
More damage as this thing clamps onto your forearm.
Oh my gosh. You're supposed to be my friend.
That's a 5. What are you at now?
3. 'Cause you took nine damage in
two rounds, you're at three at 30.
God, this thing is like, is it literally has like, its flail
tail into your ribs and this. You're like, connect.
Yeah, you are one now. Yeah, that's real.
Now it's you guys. Can I remove this thing and just
drop it into the crevasse? Give me a strength, Dr. Oh, I'd
say 12, but it's connected in two points.
We're going to call it a 14. You know, if we had just melt
the worms, they would have been way more.
Susceptible. You may be right.
The refractory period would have made it good deal.
That's a fucking 19. Nice.
So you managed to rip him off of your arm and your ribs, which
hurts like hell. I just think I'd give you a
little brick gap for you to say Yeah, and you throw it into the
crevice. Give me a presence test.
Are you trying to throw it at him?
Are you trying to throw it? Oh, he's not there anymore.
Never mind. Don't worry about that.
I thought you were going to throw it at the news, but he's
not. He's not there anymore.
Getting him out of here. OK, yeah, yeah.
He falls into the into the tunnel.
You should have been swallowed. I show up right next to him
after he throws him in. Bad news, bad news.
It's a fucking dead end down there too.
And at that point I'm going to reach down for Weeman to help
him up. And then hearing that, I'm going
to shrug my shoulders and still help him up.
OK. We met well, like just pull up
his bow the the retreating pale one.
I guess that just leaves us to go after our worm milking
pervert then and just fire off a shot at the pale 1.
OK, he's pretty far away. Not too far away though, so
we'll call it a 14. That is.
It would draw his attention. In the eleven, OK, it wouldn't
have mattered anyway. Oh.
Fuck. He's also, like, I got to
imagine, two cents. He went off into the worm
tunnel. He's kind of in the dark.
So you're kind of shooting, not blind, but like, like tough,
tough shot. OK, well, let's see who's left,
Cedric. Jake.
And Barnaby? Yep.
Oh yeah, Barnaby. We'll play Barnaby for last.
I like it. Why don't you reach my back
pocket and take take a bump of this?
What did that? Didn't wear pants, remember?
You've been holding that for a while, haven't you?
I got a couple. You might need one later.
Pretty soon here too. Yeah, give me a little here too.
A little. Here too, OK, I I need some
fucking health. It's just right in my back
pocket. You just go grab it.
I'm. Gonna take it.
Don't forget to tie off first. How much?
How much healing is this? Oh, D6.
D6 Oh man, I'm going to have bad luck with this.
I can tell already. It's just how it works.
OK, not as bad as I I. Mean it is the lower half, but
it's the best result of the lower half.
So it's all right, Silver. Lining I'm going to have a I'm
going to have a fucking skeleton attacking me in.
Essentially 4 rounds. 4 rounds? Yep, I got to keep it in track
of that. OK, what's in this?
Is there is is there something crazy in this room that piques
my interest? You see that you can see the
room kind of from where you are and you can't see a lot of
what's on the ground on the floor of the room, I mean
because of your lower. Anywhere to hide.
Anything I can use as a trap? Maybe I, You know, Arnold
Schwarzenegger, this guy? You're in a crevice.
The first two questions are pretty clear, but the last one
is confusing. You aren't in sports and
everything. I don't know what you but oh,
doing some bigger shit. No, there's no water for you to
just to hang out in so that he doesn't see with his thermals.
But worms probably use that even though.
There's no worm poop he could swim in.
There probably is. There's probably some chunks of
it around here. This room, though, you recognize
as you kind of look it up at the room around you that this
appears to be the entrance hall. And you know that when you got
here there was a knocked over statue in this room.
I'm. Going to go hide behind that
knocked over statue. OK, so you're going to climb out
of the worm tunnel, run over to the statue and kind of hide
there? I'm.
Going to try to hide OK. So we're going to call that one
big agility test. We're going to call that ATR 14.
OK I. Think it's just funny that like
my my defaults to 14. It's not, but you go to 10.
OK, so you managed to get out of this thing, but as you're
running to the statue, you see the pale one is kind of.
Breached the room you know from the tunnel and he's like
watching you run over to it. You can see you saw you looking
back to to like make sure and no you saw you made eye contact.
I hope you. Didn't see me, didn't see me
with the eye contact. Yeah, yeah.
Maybe he didn't notice what he's seeing, but you clearly are.
He's just like. I see you.
Maybe he didn't see me. I don't think you saw me.
Hey, you didn't see me, right? He's waving though.
Oh, anyway. That brings us to initiative
Again, Let's have lefty roll it. No.
That's big house. That's big Hoss.
So big. Hoss climbs himself out of this.
Oh, he doesn't worm tunnel in this open room here.
And he's just like slowly walking to you, dragging this by
hander on like the tile floor. Other two guards in this room
there. Are yes.
That's a great point. They are there this.
Is the room we've been in. And you see them too as you as
you run over to that. You see this sweaty, squat
little man? Just they They've probably seen
you before. Like, not too long ago, Yeah.
Yeah, within the last couple hours.
He's like, holy shit, I'm this guy getting so much trouble I'm
laying too. Low statue, just
hyperventilating my head's barely crooked up, all awkward
next to it. Yeah.
And it it's like close enough now where like he's kind of
watching you lay there but still walking towards you.
He's still not close enough because you ran, you know?
Yeah, and he had to climb, which you did too, actually.
Fuck. Either way, he's not quite
there. The rest of Oh no, it's the two
worms. The one is in the thing, the
other one disappeared. That one tries to climb his way
back up again because he's not done with you.
What do you guys do though? He's not up it, though.
If I remember that the guards are in this room, I'm going to
help. Help me.
Help me, please. He's there for me.
Give me a 2D6. 2D.
Sticks 2D6. Five and a one, so 6/6.
Hey, fuck you. You're trespassing anyway.
Let him take you. Let him.
Take you. What do you mean he's
trespassing, 28280. Not technically.
What? What?
What the? Fuck.
Look, I'll give you. I'll give you my best
fertilizer. Fertilizer.
It's Grady. Good day here I.
Wish you hadn't said that partner.
And that's all they got for you. Is that my turn then?
Yeah, I would say so. Yeah.
Yeah, you you're laying there yelling at them.
Well, I'm going to die for Insight.
I had you roll Reaction and you rolled angered.
So they're just like, fuck you because you're getting these,
like, NPCS involved, right? So I figured, let's see, Either
way, the rest of you then I'm going to hit my needle.
OK, I got one. One use left.
Go for it. Please be good.
Please. Two.
I mean, five's better than nothing.
That's true. That's better than three.
Let's talk about how much damage you took.
Really. I think our only option now is,
fuck yeah, back in the tunnel. Do we really have to kill
anybody here? Probably.
Well, can we just say in this adventure early, just go back
out the exit, back out the exit. Are we going to at least like, I
don't know, watch this worm milker at least die?
I mean, no. No, he's going to die.
We can just assume. He's horrid they.
They disappeared. You probably heard him yelling,
though at the guard. Them.
All he. He he is drawn the most aggro,
but when he dies it goes to the next in line.
We got to do something about this worm.
He's got a vengeance and he's got a taste of my blood.
I mean, luckily I'm low on the threat, Most complex back story
and all. There's a man with an angry
skeleton. For now, who just?
I am my only thing. I have my own fucking problems,
all right. And then I jumped down and tried
to stab this worm. Oh, the one trying to climb
down. Yeah.
OK. Yeah.
Let's call that ADR 10 the Strength.
They were our friends. They were.
They were hired. That's unfortunate.
That's a nine. You like?
You think you got, you kind of know where he is, so you're kind
of bulging down with it and you just slide right past him.
Wonderful land on the ground. I meant to do that they look
planned. So we Mutt and Rundle, you guys
are left. You guys are both standing at
the top of this where you just saw him down it.
I was in the in the. Oh, you were in there?
Yeah, because we slid down. All right.
OK. I'm going to go running after
the Pale 1. OK, so you run up that worm
tunnel, you come out in the. Open room here, but still in the
tunnel. We can write him off too.
Yeah, you get this time run off, don't up the tunnel.
What about Rundle here? Rundle's going to see everything
happening. He's like, we're all going to
die anyway, so I might as well watch him before I go and I'm
going to follow Weeman. Weeman Gotcha.
OK. Family's falling apart.
These guys are fucking crazy. Oh wow.
I'm just trying to leave. Weeman to give me some
initiative. That is A1.
One that's them. So this pale one he gets close
enough with. He's looking at standing over
you, and you're going to hide behind this dead.
I'm on my back looking up with my neck kind of crooked.
He's got his and you're looking up to see him with his viander
overhead. Just bringing it down on you
give me DR14 agility because you're laying on the ground and
it's pretty hard to get away, but he's behind us, behind the
statue. Yeah, but so is he, though.
Like you're not hiding. Such a horror movie.
Moment it. Is I Love it.
The perfect Keep rolling. That fucking one, dude.
Oh no, any what that means. Defence P CS PC takes double
damage. Armour is reduced to 1 tier.
Jake, give me AD 10 and then double that number after this.
Yes, after this break. Welcome back to fly out to the
face. Damn.
Jake, you are rolling damage here.
It is a critical fumble on. There's a fumble on your part,
so you're going to take double damage here.
It's AD 10 for this VI hander that this pale one is wielding.
See that roll? He's dead. 10 damage.
He's dead. He's dead.
So yeah, this blade comes down and splits his skull just in
half. And it that's it, that's all it
needs to be. He raises his blade back up over
his shoulder, drops it back down to the ground again and starts
dragging it like he was going to carry it that way.
He's like dragging it and he starts walking back to where he
came from, turn around, goes back that way and he's just
dragging this blood trail behind him and Weema.
You're down there in that, in that tunnel, just in this room,
and you see him walking. You saw what he did.
You saw the blood spray. You didn't see Barnaby's body
because he's behind, laying on the ground behind the statue.
So you saw the pale one, bring the blade down, bring it back up
again with blood, just like spray across the room and just
shoulder it, ground it, drag it. What are the 2 guards?
Yeah, we would see the blood geyser is just like.
Turns and bolts right back down the Netherland.
That is just like. As he's going past and he sees
the rest of the group, he's like, yeah, he's gone, he's
gone, let's just keep going. And it's like powering down the
other way, down the other end of the top.
Yeah, Rundle's right behind you too.
So what do you do, Rundle? I'm right behind him, OK?
You. Stay behind him, all right?
Turn tail, and I follow him. OK, good deal.
What about you two guys? Who are you at now?
In the in the? Oh, you're still up in that
room, aren't you? With the candles, no, I'm just
at the top of. The Oh, you never made it into
there. OK, I thought you went in there,
came back out. OK, so you're at the top of the
trench, still. You're in the bottom of the
trench. What are you guys doing?
You saw them both running back. I gotta.
I'm gonna. I gotta try to fucking dispatch
this angry worm. I'm gonna drop off the the ledge
with my short sword and my stabbard into the worm.
OK, do that. We'll call that a 10 because the
dropping height advantage do the high ground that's a 19.
That hits give me damage. What should I give you damage
for? I have two weapons on me.
That is true, and I guess the Dr. should have been harder, but
it wasn't so well, I also rolled the 19th.
You did so it wouldn't have mattered.
Well, give me damage for both of them then.
All right, so they're both doing one's AD six and one's AD 4
plus. One, that's not how you do it,
but that's what we're doing at the moment, Yes, I can't.
Remember how you actually do it. Otherwise we would do it that
way. Three and two damage.
OK, so total of four damage 5. 05/05 Yeah, 3 + 2 gets 4-5 and
then you're going to take minus V2 and you'll do that twice.
Plicible tax one SO42SO2 damage, so two damage.
OK, yeah, you you stab it, it bleeds, but it doesn't seem to
give a fuck. Damn.
Kinda. I mean, it obviously hurts, but
it doesn't change its demeanor as it hisses at you.
I'm going to try and stab this worm too.
OK, 12 strength. OK, that's 14.
Nice please. 7. -2 Two, so it's 5.
Damage. Oh, nice.
Tell me about it. Oh, now you guys want to do
stuff? I just stabbed this thing
straight into the wall and pull the bulge out.
We need to like. It's interior is just drained
from your bulge hole. We need to do something and
probably fast. The skeleton did not look very
happy. I think he probably does because
he's a skeleton. They look really smiling.
Yeah. Oh, I think we should head down
this path that just you said that was a dead end.
As far as I can tell. OK, well, OK, well, he doesn't
see us yet. So listen, let's get going.
Let's get. Going all right, scooby-doo,
just start fucking moving towards where the skeleton start
was running. So you guys all run the other
direction down the tunnel? Yeah, OK, so you guys kind of
just collectively jogging down this tunnel as a group, Like
just a bunch of casual joggers 4 because he's dead.
You guys pass the the broken hallway that you guys are
fighting over and you come to a split in the tunnel left and
right. Which one looks like it goes in
an upward motion? Neither.
They both look like they go out away from you kind of flat, I
guess. I mean, I don't know no laws,
but we can. Probably head this direction in
the westward motion. You're coming from the West is
still in. Full run and he's like, I'm
going this way and just right down the left tunnel.
OK, Yep, you are you guys all following him?
Might as well. Might as well.
OK, so you guys all run down that tunnel.
You guys pass the broken hallway that you guys were fighting
across the hands, right? You guys keep running and
eventually you come to. Another room, and this looks to
be the room that you guys came across the first time you came
across one of these worm tunnels, not within.
I guess the second time after the room with all the skeletons
in, You know that if you were to climb out of the tunnel here and
go into this room to the left would lead you to that room
where you played cards with the skeletons or you didn't.
Some guy that died three territories ago did.
And if you were to climb out and go to the right, you'd come down
to those stairs. You would end up back at the
room with all of the doors and. The worm fucking.
I mean worm fighting what? Is anyone else lost?
But the tunnel does continue to go forward.
Forward. And that's our point.
Continuing forward and just like Keep on Running dies.
Dies, dies, dies. She's going to get serious
pretty quick here. It hasn't already.
And I start to split from my skeleton.
Oh yeah, yeah, you do. And your own bones kind of
materialize back in you. I.
Always feel like they're, like, kind of fucking.
You just like. Incorporeal themselves like oh.
That makes sense. Yeah, so like you, you continue
to walk, but your skeleton stays behind.
Yeah, the skeleton just falls out of his ectoplasmic form.
And then you see the bones kind of just kind of form out of the
nothing. Like they fade it in.
Yeah, we got to do. Something about this and
probably quick. Yeah, and the bones immediately
recollect and. It's like follow, you guys are
all jogging down this tunnel and it's like jogging behind you
guys as well. He needs, he just doesn't have a
knife or anything. We.
Need to turn around, turn this around and take care of this
problem. I mean, I've never been part of
a gang bang, but all we can do, right?
Now don't like that at all. And I turn around and try to
fucking swipe through. These bones OK, give me an
issue, I'll help. OK us.
OK, go for it. Fail.
Yeah, you, you try to swing your voles at him and kind of you're
kind of all doing your jog and it's behind and you know it.
And you just like kind of fake out, like stop and then spin,
but like you way too short. He wasn't as close as you
thought he was. Fuck I'll, I'll stab him.
OK, you turn around as well. Give him a stab, Go for it.
That's cocked. Damn it, they were both good
numbers. They were so almost doesn't
matter, but. Oh gosh, it's.
Still cocked? OK, hold on.
Oh my gosh. Three in a row.
Three strikes? You're out to fail.
OK, 12. OK, there you go.
Jesus 4. Times it's an armor.
D6. Yep.
Two. OK And I think he's got armor.
He's a regular old. Skeleton now, right?
He doesn't have armor. Is he a regular old skeleton at?
This point? Yeah, pretty much.
Except for he doesn't have 7 HPS 6 OK, SO6HP pretty much.
Did you do? 22 OK, I swipe at his legs,
knock him over. There you go.
Yeah. And he, you knocked him over.
OK. So yeah, he falls down on the
ground and like, he doesn't fall as a whole.
Like like you sweep the legs out from under him and he like,
falls with on the top on the top half of his legs and crumbles a
little bit. And then like he legs are
reconnected. Where do you think you're going,
Cedric? Do you think you could just walk
out on me? Beat your.
Ass. What the fuck?
Why the fuck is my other half? This.
Southern I was like saying, are you?
No, you just took someone else's bones, right?
You gave them a little bit of love juice.
They're coming back for you. No.
Please somebody help me take care of this.
His name's Mayonnaise. Yeah, what about?
We've missed it? Don't have.
Time for this and I'm going to try and shield bash the.
The skeleton. Okay.
I like the idea of all of you guys.
Just like Quick Step, turn around and start attacking this
thing. Yeah, that's a natural one.
Natural one. Fuck.
Dude, that's with his shield. Yeah, I don't think that things
breakable though it's. Broken.
I'm gonna use my last omen so you can reroll it.
Oh, there you go. That's a 10.
OK, so it doesn't break the shield, at least if it can be
broken, I feel like it could be. It's not his relic, It's a
relic. I was gonna say that it just
like I just tossed it. Oh, there you go.
That works good. What about Rundle there?
Rundle's gonna, you know, turn on his heels and pull the
warhammer out and. Swinging at this skeleton.
Maybe you shoot it. Maybe.
It's none of your fucking business.
Talk to your friends some more to get some of this.
Trash talking. That's a 2 on it.
Yeah, you you didn't even like like close the distance.
You just turned around and swung, almost hit Weedman in the
side of the head. You need to go wait in the
corner. Then it's this thing.
What does it do, Jake? Oh, what does it do?
Yeah, you're it now. I'm gonna.
I'm going to he. Doesn't have any weapons.
I'm gonna spear myself through the the crowd and tackle Cedric,
OK, yeah. That's perfect.
Give me strength to roll in raw. Oh, yeah, It's just him.
He Yeah, you're not the thing. Well, you are, but agility.
Agility. Dr. 12.
You know what we're meant to be now get back.
Here Natural 20. That 20 nice so that you get an
attack on him. Oh, I do.
Yeah, that's right. So I imagine he, like, grabs you
around the waist and you just, like, hold him in.
And then what? I fail.
And you fail. So you're trying to like, you're
trying to, like, get this bulge to, like, stab him, but you're
like, he's too fucking close. It's really hard to do
initiative, Jake. Sorry.
What are you? That's you.
I'm, I'm, I'm belly hugging, right?
Yeah, pretty much. I mean, he's not grappled
technically, but you aren't there.
Oh, you're like a ghost skeleton, yeah.
That's probably why he's not grappled.
Because you can't really grab him.
Oh, I'm just holding on with both hands to his spine.
Would you rip Cage? You probably can.
You're a skeleton, maybe. And we've been together.
You've been one. Yeah, you've been one.
You can't just leave me like that, baby.
And I'm going to start tugging on his spine and try to rip it
out. Okay.
Call that agility on your part, Nate.
Actually, he's grabbing you right Strength.
I don't know, man. Just like, yeah, agility.
He's been inside you. 16 Okay Yeah, he is tugging on your
spine pretty good, kinda. It's just like you're trying to
like, I don't know, it's it's really confusing to determine
what exactly is happening there. I'm going to.
I'm going to like concentrate corporeal, sort of.
Like, yeah, kind of concentrate and face through the the
skeleton. I like that.
And I assume since it's our turn, I'm just going to, while I
do swing down with the bulge, OK, I like it.
You got to like, jimmied it to the point where you're like your
hand is directly under the blade, pretty much like it's a
giant knife now, not being handled.
No, you know, not going to happen.
The fact that it's a giant knife with a really long handle makes
it very hard to wield like one. What about the rest of you guys?
I'm going to stab at him again. OK, you guys are stabbing a
skeleton. I feel like that does nothing.
I'm. Going to beat it down.
Look at like some games. Still under 100.
I want to break off its arm combined, yeah.
What's a 10? Give me nothing.
You're stabbing a skeleton, so nothing.
Like, it's like hitting ribs and it's just glancing off.
I'm like, it doesn't really like slice because it's his bones.
What about Rundle? And we met.
Yeah, we've been, we've been still wielding the shield
awkwardly. And I'm just like, imagine it's
kind of like the food tray or like a chair.
Just, oh, giving the chair shot. Yeah, love it.
Do it. Yeah, that's an 80.
If you don't, you slam it on the ground and you almost feel like
you almost broke it. But you didn't rundle.
What are you doing? Warhammer.
Skeleton OK, gotcha. -3 that's a 10, OK, so yeah, you're swinging
at it. You're just because he's
grabbing him, you're just really having a hard time connecting
because of his weird angle. You're like giving him
horizontal slashes across the chest, but he's lower than that.
Combat isn't really our thing. Yeah, you'd think it would be,
but. It's not.
I'm more of a shit talker than anything else.
Yeah, that's true. Roll initiatively, but put your
money where your dice are or something.
That's that is you OK? You did it.
I'm. Going to try and chop them
again? OK, go for it.
Yeah, baby. No, I turn.
I get his song with me. You might.
BE I've got plans now. I've got plans now.
Who's next? He's trying to milk you into
that. Your your stab also failed.
Cedric. Yep.
All right, leave it. -2, So
that's a 13. Oh, OK That hit.
Yeah. Thank.
Goodness. Finally, damage.
We figured it was AD 4. Yeah, I think it was AD 4.
Let's do it. Yep.
That's 22 damage. You're at 4:00, so you're down
to two, Rundle. He's still that.
That's field. Like you buckled the boy's
knees. The bone boy's knees.
Bone boy's bone. Knees.
Bone boys, Bone boys. Rondo we we got finishedness.
Yes, I'm trying. I'm not having a good time right
now. You're telling me Oh.
That's a 19 minus the three. That's a 16 that's having a good
time. Now give me damage.
Debatable bear. That's one.
And I still have -3 so you smash so.
You give him to help you get, you get like the head of your
hammer, like wedge between his, like the clavicle and like the
collar. Are you stuck in there, the
collarbone, the same thing, like it's it's stuck in up and then
you're gonna wedge it out. But it doesn't really hurt him.
OK, there's some stuff. For this turn it's.
I think it's stuck. And pull it out though.
Yeah, yeah. OK, OK.
Our flame friend was way more useful than this guy.
Makes a really gross sound. I'm going to.
I'm going to steal this warhammer you're going to.
OK, so instead of you being able to pull it out.
OK, so we'll go Strength, then Dr. 12 on you, Rundle.
If you succeed, he doesn't get it from you.
Nope. That's a zero.
Yeah, he rolled A0 and. Then I have -3, right?
So yeah, you he tries to pull it out, but instead you like, you
grab it like just like between the head and his hand.
And so you're holding it in place and he just slips his hand
off. And what do you do with it?
I'm gonna swing on Cedric, OK? There's an uppercut with this
pretty much in the jaw. But as I take it out of my
clavicle and I'm going to twirl it around and whack them right
in the face, I like it. And what'd you get?
That's a nine. A nine.
So it lands. What's the damage on that
warhammer? D6D6 so take D6 damage kill you.
It might. It might.
I mean, it could break me at the very least.
Yeah, it breaks me. It breaks me.
I did. I can see it in his eyes.
DD4. Yeah.
Doesn't the skeleton D animate after it kills you?
Yeah. I replace him.
Oh, maybe. Yeah.
Good luck doing that. Hi, I'm Cedric.
I think that's it. I think that's it right there. 4
Dead. Yes.
So, Jake. Jake.
Jake.
Tell me about it. Jake.
Yeah, not damaging. This is this is as poetic as it
needed to be for for my own skeleton to kill me.
Dude, dude, I fucking love it. I fucking dude, I fucking love
it. How do I die?
So when that that warhammer is stuck in my clavicle, I'm going
to yank it out. And then seeing Cedric and all
these fools just flustering around trying to kill me, I just
walk up to him and then take that hammer and swing through
his face. And his head just cracks off and
then flies down the tunnel. Nice.
And then he evaporates. Yeah.
And yeah, he just dissipates. And then the the skeleton that
you are just crumbles to bones. Goodbye.
Yeah, The other three of you standing there, you hear
footsteps. You, you.
Now that the, the, the, the smoke is cleared, so to speak.
You smell smoke, but it's like hearth smoke from down the
hallway. And you can now kind of realize
that there was, there was a bit of like a a fire light from down
the worm tunnel and you hear footsteps of two people walking.
And you you kind of turn to look and you see two guards dressed
similarly to the ones that you met, but not the same guys.
And one of them looks at looks at the scenario here and he's
like this looks infected. Hey everybody, Kevin at the end
of the episode and Happy Merktober.
This episode contains the adventure Doom Kirk by Kotero,
which appears in Monolith issue #1 entitled Harvest from our
good Friends of the Bog Folk, Levi playing Lefty the Cannibal
Cook by Ian Gray. Tai Long, the Cannibal Curator
of Ex Liberus Merkborg Tom, is playing We MIT the Catacomb St.
by Makutie. Kevin playing Rundle, The Lord
of Flies by Edward Carabano, Jake playing Barnaby the would
be Yeoman by Alewife and Chalk Down, which also appears in
Monolith issue #1, and Nate playing Mayor Cedric the Bone
Spectre by Nate Cyber. Check out all these cool things
in their respective Ex Liberus Morkborg entries in the
description accompanying this episode, as well as the Flail
the Face Episode 9 Companion, Mayor Cedric's Spiteful Finger,
and Rundle's Hammer of Self Sabotage.
And while you're at it, check us out on our socials Facebook,
Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky, and Thread, as well as anywhere
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And while you're at it, check out our sister podcast, The
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And if you'd like the World Standard, think about joining
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Buttons. Let me know when our buttons are
pressed. Oh, say the things Kevin
pressed, Kevin pressed, his buttons are pressed.
Oh, you pressed. It's real nice everyone.
'S pressed. Everyone's pressed oh oh.
What's going on? I even do.
You don't. I remember when I lost my mind.
I shipped my pants. There was something so special
about that day. What?
I'm still looking for my marbles.
I don't understand the reference.
Me either. Check your pants.
Loser. There's my testes.
They're all no, they're not wearing any.
No, they really dropped. No.
No, I didn't think they could get any will work.
Welcome to Balls to the ground. We drag them and you tag them.
And tag them no. We're all dying, greeting
seniors and welcome to balls to the ground.
Welcome. Welcome, seniors.
Boys, all right, wipe the slate. I got some easy.
You didn't cut it in, Sir? Oh.
Bless you. Oh, bless you.
Bless up, well done. Let me put my hands.
Up Bless. Up a town, down boot it, boot it
boot. It boot it.
Boot it. Are we ready to boot it?
You know what has two buttholes? Two people.
Damn it, Well, fuck. What a what?
A what a strange question in this situation.
You just you you narrate yourself into the worst shit all
the time. You're like, I'm laying down on
my back. I'm this flabby little tiny man
trying my with this awkward, horrible step.
You're like, hmm, what narrative things can I give Chris a reason
to fucking make it harder for me?
I know there's something that Walt said the other day that
resonated with me. He was like, he's like, no,
Chris, fuck you. You give me ADR 14 presence
test. I'm the mayor.
I make tactical decisions. You're.
The mayonnaise. You're white and bland.
Quite. Out.
Sometimes sweet out of the Hard to argue with Not food.
Yeah.