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Hello my friends and welcome 
back to the Becoming Sound 

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podcast. 
I'm Krista. 

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Thank you so much for joining me
today. 

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If you are new here, welcome. 
I'm so grateful that you're 

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spending some time with me. 
Don't forget to stick around 

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till the end. 
We are chatting about how 

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wearing a mask and hiding your 
true self is actually hurting 

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you more than you think or maybe
even realize the impact that it 

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has on your life. 
How we can start to change that 

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and what really happens to us 
when we show up authentically in

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our in our nervous system, in 
our body, in our thoughts, all 

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of that. 
So stick around. 

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Welcome to Becoming Sound 
podcast where we dive into the 

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tough stuff and try to find the 
humor in the hotness of being an

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adult child. 
Join me as we peel back the 

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layers on growing up and 
dysfunction, navigating 

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substance abuse, mental health 
challenges, and everything in 

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between. 
So this past weekend I attended 

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a fantastic workshop hosted by 
Ali Stone and her team at the 

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Creative Hive in Edmonton and I 
really wanted to just talk about

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it because I felt this like 
deeper shift that honestly I 

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wasn't expecting. 
I I've been to a lot of 

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workshops and I don't even know 
what I was expecting. 

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I always think I'm gonna be 
inspired and, and just learn 

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something of course and walk 
away with a deeper 

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understanding. 
But I don't know, I kind of felt

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this shift on a different level.
So I really just wanted to talk 

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about it with you today and um, 
yeah, kind of get some feedback 

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on on how you guys feel about 
this. 

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So do you, have you ever walked 
into a room and immediately felt

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like you have to adjust 
yourself? 

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Like say the right thing, not 
say too much, be likable, be 

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easy, be fine. 
Um, excuse me? 

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I think we do it without even 
thinking. 

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We put on these masks that we've
been wearing for so long, we 

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don't even really realize that 
they're there anymore. 

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For me, this, this is exactly 
the way I felt for so many 

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years. 
And you know, the wildest part 

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is it is low key exhausting. 
It's emotionally exhausting, 

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nervously internally, like you 
feel it. 

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It's heavy like this, like a 
shield or like a cloak you're 

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wearing. 
And it's really covering you and

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you can't quite explain why you 
feel so heavy, but but it's 

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there. 
It's, it's, it's there. 

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So, and I got so good at doing 
this thinking I, I was just 

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protecting myself. 
But the truth is I really didn't

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realize how much I was hurting 
and stifling my own growth and 

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connection to myself and to 
other people. 

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And, and yes, this is an ongoing
journey for sure. 

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Over the last couple years, you 
know, I've been really diving 

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into this more, but probably 
more so over the last half of 

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this past year, this has been 
shifting for me in a really 

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like, in a much bigger way, I'd 
say. 

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So as I participated in this 
workshop, something really hit 

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me. 
It wasn't just the content, it 

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wasn't just the inspiration. 
It was actually more so the way 

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I showed up and that's not 
really by accident, but I just 

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felt something was calling me 
to, to really step into this 

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space with a different mindset, 
I think with the different frame

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of mind and I really let myself 
be seen. 

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I spoke honestly, I spoke up, 
which was great. 

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It was a room full of a lot of 
people and I didn't speak 

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perfectly. 
I didn't filter myself. 

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I was just real, Um, and I 
remember kind of in that moment,

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remembering the commitment that 
I had made to myself on the way 

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on the drive there. 
It was really to just show up 

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and be as authentic as possible 
because I, I've had Allana's 

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podcast just a couple weeks ago 
and she's super real and 

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authentic. 
And so I haven't been to a full 

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workshop with her. 
And I knew I kind of had this, 

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this idea or energy about, about
kind of a download. 

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I would say that I really just 
needed to show up and be there 

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for myself. 
And I found I was listening more

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intently, like really listening,
not waiting to respond, not over

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processing what I was saying, 
not comparing, not what was 

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coming up next or what I wanted 
to say because of what someone 

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else was saying. 
And honestly, the women in that 

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room, like wow, same energy. 
It really felt safe there. 

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And what I noticed was that my 
nervous system didn't spike. 

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I didn't feel this surge of like
nervousness or overwhelm. 

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I really felt calm even when I 
was sharing something 

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vulnerable. 
And I could feel my voice kind 

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of get a little cracky or feel 
that little sensation that comes

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up in your nervous system when 
you're when you're speaking and,

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and everyone's listening 
intently. 

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And I could feel that, but I 
just push through it anyways. 

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And, and I was really proud of 
myself for doing that. 

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So it was kind of like an aha 
moment because what I really 

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realized was that the safety 
didn't come from the room, 

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although it did feel really safe
in that room. 

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It really came from me in 
trusting myself from deciding to

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show up intentionally that day, 
like really feeling and telling 

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myself ahead of time, I'm just 
going to be here, I'm going to 

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be present. 
And when I did that, I felt 

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everything changed like a big 
shift. 

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My breath slowed down, my body 
softened, my mind got quiet. 

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I didn't hear all of the chatter
in my head like I normally do. 

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I really leaned into the 
breathing and the being present.

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I really got out of my head and 
into my body. 

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And that is not an easy feat for
me. 

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So if if anybody has been 
listening for any length of 

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time, you will understand that 
the disconnect between my head 

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and my body has been really 
challenging for me. 

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And I think that's, um, where 
the shift came for sure when I 

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went to the workshop because 
like, let's be honest, it did 

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not always look like that. 
What it normally looked like was

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looking to other people to 
decide what I should say, 

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overthinking every interaction, 
like holding back because I 

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didn't, I wasn't fully trusting 
myself. 

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I didn't want to feel stupid. 
Or I had told myself this story 

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in my head, you know, really 
staying safe by playings, 

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playing it small. 
And the internal dialogue 

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sounded something like, oh, I'm 
just tired or other people are 

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saying things I would say, so 
I'll just stay quiet. 

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And, and like, I just said that 
I didn't want to feel like an 

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idiot. 
You know, I didn't want to look 

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stupid in front of other people.
And I think that's a common fear

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we have is that we're going to 
appear less than or like we 

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really don't know what we're 
talking about. 

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And let's be real, half the time
I don't know what the fuck I'm 

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talking about anyways. 
But I'm just I'm just up here 

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with a microphone blabbing away.
But anyways, I really, I really 

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just wanted to to explain the 
point that, you know, while your

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nervous system is in low key 
survival mode, it's usually 

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creating a story that isn't even
true to keep you safe. 

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And these masks that we wear, 
they're definitely not random. 

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They're really built in to 
protect us, to help us belong, 

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to avoid rejection, to stay safe
in the environments where most 

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likely at one time being our 
fully true selves didn't feel 

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possible or safe. 
And so that disconnect is real. 

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But here's the problem. 
What once protected me and you, 

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now is created this disconnect 
from yourself, from others, from

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feeling this real connection. 
When you start taking the masks 

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off, even just a little, you 
don't become too much. 

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What you become is regulated, 
present, connected. 

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You become honest and trusting 
of yourself, and that's when 

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something really shifts in your 
body, like your breathing 

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deepens, your shoulders drop, 
You stop scanning the room for 

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approval or waiting till you 
think is the exact moment where 

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you can express yourself. 
And you really just start 

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experiencing people instead of 
managing how you're perceived by

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them. 
That's where connection really, 

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really lives. 
And So what does this actually 

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look like in real life? 
Like not in a workshop? 

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Because in a workshop, I think 
it's a little easier to get 

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caught up in that inspiration 
and in that in those moments. 

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And it's really guided. 
And so it, it is kind of a 

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perfect space to do that, even 
if you're not speaking up on a 

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microphone or something, it's 
really kind of a safe space to 

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just blend in and be able to 
hone in on that. 

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But what does it look like in 
your everyday life? 

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That's something that becomes a 
little more difficult, like when

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we're people pleasing or when 
we're trying to do all of it or 

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over functioning or all of that 
stuff. 

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So the first thing I do, and 
this is a learned practice and 

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it's something I still practice 
every day, but notice the mask. 

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So start catching yourself in 
real time, maybe when like pay 

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attention to what's happening in
your body because your intuition

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and your your internal system is
gonna give you signals and 

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signs. 
You may be your heart races, 

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maybe you get sweaty palms, 
maybe you start to feel agitated

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or angry at something. 
And I think that's the time when

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you can just take a pause and 
taking a deep breath, maybe like

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3 or 4 or 10, if that's what it 
takes. 

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Um, sit in a chair and put your 
feet on the floor or the ground 

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and feel those breaths like 
belly breathe. 

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And then start getting curious 
with yourself, Like where are 

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you editing yourself? 
Where are you saying what you 

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think you should say or doing 
what you think you should do and

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justice? 
Asking yourself questions like 

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awareness is always step one. 
Because once we're aware, it's 

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really hard to go back, right? 
I think it's the second thing, 

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which is the connection piece is
to come back to your body. 

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This is where most people skip. 
And in all honesty, this is 

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where I skip so much. 
I would intellectualize 

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everything and think that I was 
getting it. 

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I would tell myself that when in
reality, I was not in touch with

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what my what my body's going 
through. 

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And so I think this is a really 
important one. 

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And so I have to constantly be 
practicing and reminding myself.

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And the more I practice, the 
more that there is a shift for 

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me. 
And I think that this workshop 

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it really, I really felt that. 
So now that I felt it, I can 

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reconnect with that feeling and 
bring that home into my life. 

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O breathing intentionally be 
fully present in your breath. 

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Slow it down, feel your feet on 
the floor, drop your shoulder 

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blades down. 
Really, really sink into your 

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body and justice. 
Take the time like if it's 5 

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minutes, that whole 5 minutes, 
if it's 30 seconds, it can make 

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a world a difference in how your
nervous system responds. 

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So this brings you out of your 
head and your, your thought 

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processes into really paying 
attention to your body. 

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And it really it, what it does 
is send your nervous system a 

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signal that you're safe. 
And so just practicing that, 

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pick a time or an opportunity 
where you can choose one moment 

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of honesty, not, not like a full
personality overhaul, just a 

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moment. 
Say the real thing that you're 

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thinking. 
Share the real opinion. 

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Admit how you're actually 
feeling when someone asks you 

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instead of, you know, saying I'm
fine. 

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Which is usually a little 
bullshit. 

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Um, but everyone does it because
it's just the nice thing to do, 

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right? 
Doing this, this is doing these 

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little actions is how you 
actually build trust with 

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yourself. 
It's not in the thinking about 

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it, it's in the doing. 
And everything you want is on 

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the other side of the fear. 
So let your voice shake, but say

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it anyways. 
Let your hand sweat do it 

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anyways. 
Um, at the workshop we and I've 

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seen this video before, but it's
the one of Will Smith and and 

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skydiving and, and I love it 
because it's, it really drives 

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home the point. 
If you can find the video, watch

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it for sure. 
If I can find it, I'll link it 

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in here. 
But um, it's just feeling the 

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fear and moving through it 
because for the last few months 

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I've had to do this at the M 
filter talks. 

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And honestly, once I step 
through it and I just do the 

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thing, which is speaking 
publicly in front of other 

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people with a mic, what's on the
other side is I, I always 

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question myself, what in the 
hell was I so scared about? 

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And so I remember that 
experience every time and it's 

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like, you know what, I'm a 
little nervous. 

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Maybe I don't know what I'm 
going to say or it's not 

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perfectly rehearsed, which it 
shouldn't be. 

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Um, but I, I just moved through 
it and it gets less and less 

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scary every time I do it. 
So let your voice shake. 

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Say it anyways. 
Practice with someone safe that 

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you feel comfortable with. 
And here's the ripple effect of 

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all of that. 
And here's what starts to happen

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to you when you start making 
these little shifts. 

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You start to feel calmer in your
own life. 

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You feel more connected in your 
relationships. 

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You stop needing that constant 
external validation. 

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They start trusting your own 
voice again, and the people 

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around you. 
They feel it too, because when 

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one person drops the mask, it 
gives everyone else permission 

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to breathe just a little deeper 
too, and feel safe. 

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So that space that I was in on 
the weekend, it was beautiful. 

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It, it felt connected and it 
really felt safe. 

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But the truth is that didn't 
entirely happen because of the 

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room, even though there was 
absolutely beautiful energy 

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there. 
It happened because I showed up 

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differently. 
It happened because I put all of

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my little practices into action.
And that is available to you 

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too. 
Like not someday, not when 

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everything feels perfect, just 
in the next conversation, in the

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next breath, or in the next 
moment that you choose to be 

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real instead of rehearsed. 
If this if this hits home for 

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you, and if you've been feeling 
disconnected, overwhelmed, or 

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just tired of holding it all 
together, honestly, this is your

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invitation to just start taking 
off the mask. 

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Do it slowly, do it safely, but 
do it intentionally. 

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And I'm so glad that I, I did 
that for myself and moving into 

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that space really intentionally 
from my heart and, and having 

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that little conversation with 
myself because it made all the 

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difference in the world. 
And I was able to actually take 

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in so much more because I 
created space for myself to do 

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that. 
So if you're craving a space 

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where you can actually do that 
with other women, I am building 

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something to support you. 
So I've had a great session with

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a strategist named Bree. 
Shout out Bree, she's awesome. 

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And she's really helping me 
layout a foundation and a plan 

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and, and getting me started on 
building something that can 

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support you in this. 
So it's a space for women who 

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are ready to take the mask off, 
to reconnect, to feel like they 

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actually belong in their own 
life. 

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So it's a community, it's a 
membership, it's a coaching 

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experience for women who are 
done going through the motions 

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and ready to feel something 
real. 

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So if that's you, stay close 
because I'll have more details 

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about that coming up in the 
next, you know, month. 

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Um, because this isn't, it's not
just something I want to talk 

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about anymore. 
I just feel really called to 

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create something that you're 
going to be able to step into. 

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And if you are local to the 
Edmonton area, please come and 

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join us at an unfiltered AF 
event. 

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So I host this event with two of
my friends and we have guest 

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speakers come out. 
Every month is a different 

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topic. 
It's just a space for real 

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growth, real talk, like real 
connection and community. 

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And they happen the third 
Tuesday of every month in Stony 

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Plain. 
I will put the link in the show 

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notes if you're interested in 
that. 

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And I'll also have other links 
there like follow me on social 

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media and you know, we'll 
connect or really just tell me 

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how how wearing masks has 
affected you in your life and, 

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00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:02,160
and let me know where you're at 
with that. 

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So I'd love some feedback. 
Please don't forget to click the

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follow button wherever you 
listen to your podcast. 

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I would absolutely love a rating
and review or share this episode

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00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,940
with a friend. 
And I don't say this lightly. 

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00:19:15,950 --> 00:19:20,720
I so appreciate it, but it 
really does go a long way to 

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moving this podcast forward and 
gaining momentum. 

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So I appreciate you and I'm so 
grateful that you chose to spend

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some of your precious time with 
me. 

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So thank you so much and have a 
Absolutely Fabulous week. 

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Catch you next time on Becoming 
Sound. 

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Thank you for joining me today 
on another episode of Becoming 

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00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:44,060
Sound. 
If this episode resonated with 

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00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:46,960
you in some way, please share it
with someone you care about. 

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00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:49,180
And don't forget to hit the 
subscribe button. 

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00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:52,440
It helps to get this information
out to more people who may need 

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00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:54,950
it. 
If you have a SEC, I would love 

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00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,610
a follow on Apple Podcasts and 
Spotify. 

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00:19:57,820 --> 00:20:00,590
While you're there, hit the five
star rating and give me a 

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00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,330
review. 
When you're scrolling, follow me

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00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:06,160
on my social platforms and I 
would love to hear your comments

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00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:08,930
and feedback. 
Have a fabulous day. 

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Lots of love and gratitude from 
me. 

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00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:19,780
Please note, the views, 
information and opinions 

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00:20:19,790 --> 00:20:23,500
expressed during the Becoming 
Sound podcast series are solely 

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00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:25,540
those of the individuals 
involved. 

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00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:29,040
The content of this podcast is 
to educate, inform, and for 

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00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:32,620
entertainment purposes only. 
This podcast series and the 

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00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:36,140
content presented does not 
constitute for medical or other 

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00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:40,680
professional advice or services.
If you are in crisis or in need 

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00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:43,820
of help, please contact your 
medical or professional 

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00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:44,540
provider.