Welcome to Clear Horror High, hosted by Chris Vicchio and
Mickey Jack. Welcome back to Queer Horror
High, where we're queer, we love horror, and we're real fucking
high. I'm Chris and I'm a queer.
Birthday Gemini demon. And I'm Nikki and I'm here to
put the horror in horror, but also say happy birthday to my
favorite queer Gemini demon. It's Gemini season, so it's
going to get extra chaotic. And before we even start the
show, let me have the floor. And just, you know, while you
guys are listening to this episode, I hope that you guys
are also running to Instagram, blue sky, Facebook, just your
general phone if you're that close.
And wishing Chris a very sincere happy birthday because this is
an incredible human being who is not.
Only I'm not done. Don't interrupt, OK?
What the fuck. This is about me for you.
So shut the fuck up and receive. So anyways, y'all, this is a
wonderful person and not only is he just a provider of laughs,
but he's also a provider of a multitude of things in my life
personally. Like, he's giving me shelter and
food and hugs and love and like, friendship and these are all
things you literally can't put a price on.
And you guys just get funny. So sucks for you, but also
amazing for the rest of us who are so close to this wonderful
human being. And yeah, just join me in saying
a happy birthday to Chris and cheers to another year of just,
like being fucking high and scared and weird and queer and
happy and seeking joy and terrorizing people who terrorize
us. Fuck yeah, bitch, you done did
it. She done already had done had
herses boots, Mama purr Happy birthday.
You're done now. Thank you so much.
I made it another conducting. Gesture.
Of course. My Virgo will cuss you out in
order to give you congratulations.
Shut the fuck up while I say I love you, yeah?
Well, I understand. Remember, our signs are
reversed. Yeah, for sure.
But yeah, I'm so excited for your birthday.
Like, I love other people's birthdays way more than I love
my own because it's just like, wish I'm still here, but.
Like, yeah, I mean, in a way I feel like that too because I
just love bringing other people joy.
But like, I really do just have a cool birthday.
I'm sorry. Yeah, you do.
Like, I was born on Friday the 13th.
And this, my 39th birthday, is a Friday the 13th birthday.
Yeah, it is Friday the 13th today.
Not today day, but today that you are listening to this.
And you know, my last one was skipped by fucking leap year, so
I haven't had a Friday the 13th, his birthday since I was 27.
So it's been since 2013, ironically or coincidentally
enough. So that's kind of fun, yeah.
But yeah, I should have had one like 2019-2020, honestly.
Maybe it got skipped because they knew I didn't need a COVID.
One. Yeah, no, that would have been
depressing as fuck. My God, we are already high as
all hell. So what is the high tea?
Or do you want to ask me what the high tea is?
Yeah, it's my job. Just because it's your birthday
doesn't mean you get to do everything OK.
No, I want to do less work. I'm over a goal.
We're just really high. Yeah, less work lol.
What's the high tea with you, friend?
You go first. It's your birthday.
What are you smoking on? What are you getting Stony
about? I am smoking on Jaw Crushers.
The New York came out Jaw, Jaw Crusher.
It's a hybrid between, I don't know, some shit.
It's tasty, it's fruity, it's a little floral and it's got me
real fucked up. You, you love to see it.
Yeah. I mean, China, I was trying to
look it up and it's actually hard to find because apparently
it's not very common and I have it from this brand astronauts,
which I feel like is mostly who sells it.
Yeah. And also could be another brand
just repackaging smalls. Oh yeah?
Well this jaw crusher shit is like desserty.
Sweet and delicious. Love that.
I also have a blunt that I'm going to spark up, a Lila
especial silver from El Blunto. I'm excited for this and I also
have two CZ Mango Haze sativa joints which I probably won't
get to all of this but if I do, happy birthday to me.
Yeah, real talk. So what are you smoking on?
I have, I think this one is Gush Mints again.
Yep, it's Gush Mints. And then I got these Midnight
Blueberry Camino gummies. Yummy.
You know I love anything blueberry.
Yeah, so that's what I'm Rahu with.
Yum. So today fitting for this Friday
the 13th, that is my birthday. Friday the 13th we are covering
Friday the 13th Part 3 which was originally released in 1982 in
3D, directed by Steve Minor who I believe directed Friday the
13th Part 2 as well. Also, this installment has a
final girl named Chris, so it really is just made for me.
Yeah, this is also fun because the first Friday 13th is like
his first season and then but he gets injured so they're like,
OK, well he was kind of a good queen this season.
So like, let's bring him back again.
So that was like Friday the 13th Part 2.
He got pretty far in the cop because they were like, we
brought her back for a reason. She's kind of she's killing it.
And then Friday the 13th Part 3 is his All Star season.
New look, new cut, new color, new money, glow up completely.
We get. We go from the bag to the mask.
We go from the segregated to the integrated.
Yeah. It's, it's a whole new, it's a
whole new vibe. The kills are a little bit more
complex. Like Mama stepped up her budget.
She's getting a stipend now. She's getting her per diem and
it's high. The prices went up over, you
know, the course of the few weeks she had maybe a few
months, few years if she's a phoenix, coming back to play
again with the girls. Yeah.
Terrible. You know, maybe she's a Asha and
she's like, I've been on this show a couple of times.
Phoenix The. Drag queen and I literally
caught like a bird. Yeah.
So it's like she had some time off and she came back with a lot
of lot of bit of coin and was like, I want to come back with a
new look too. And we got just that.
So that's why I like this Friday the 13th and like that's kind of
how I like sequence it. This is also a low key where I
stop with Friday the 13th because I was like 3 is enough.
I'm with a three and you're done.
Child's play is the only child's play and tremors or is the only
one where I like kind of took it all the way.
I never took it that far with Tremors.
I know we've talked about it before.
I know and we talked about it in depth.
You know why? Because I I did.
I sat and I watched every single tremors one time intentionally.
I was like, I need to know. I need to know why we did so
many of them. I think I've just seen the 1st
2:00. They went back in time to like
the West like I need. We're covering tremors, every
single one. That's what we're doing for my
birthday. Was there an origin story to the
first tremor? You know there is.
Oh. My God.
You know, there's and then they have, I think Tremor 7 is the
one that it was like tremors on ice.
And I'm not even, I'm not even kidding.
I'm not even being me and bullshitting you.
Like, not on ice skates, There's no ice capades.
It's like it's. Winter setting Arctic.
OK bitch, I was imagining it was like Reptar on ice for a second.
No, it was giving Disney on Ice. Could you imagine that?
A bunch of tremors doing double axles?
I could. And that's why it's like not
it's far fetched that your brain went there.
It's not far fetched at all. I was an ice skating kid growing
up, I've said I used to dance around my parents hardwood floor
doing single axles and every time I fell I shook the shit out
of all the glassware and furniture.
Wait, it might not be that one. Or maybe I did imagine that and
I was like, they only as well be on ice.
But Oh yeah, it's Tremor 6 then a cold day in hell, that's what
it's called. I love it.
I remember being like this is real and it is real good.
OK, I might have to look into the Tremors cinematic universe.
But yeah, Friday 13th right here.
This is Part 3. This is the one.
We've done one and two, right? We're not.
We did with three. We haven't done them in a while.
We did them a long time ago. So yeah, we haven't gone back to
this in over 2 years, three years, four years, three years.
OK, yeah, I'm like, I don't even know which ones we've done and
we'd be doing shit out of order. With Batman Returns return from
where we never covered where he was before.
He is a fuck dude. This is the best one we.
Covered the gayest 1. Yeah, we did.
Well, I don't know Batman and Robin is pretty gay.
Too, I was like Batman and Robin's way more gay but the gay
Halloween 1. All right, but the IMDb
description for Friday the 13th, Part 33D, is very basic.
Jason Voorhees stalks a group of friends who have just arrived to
spend the weekend at a cabin near Crystal Lake.
Yeah, I like how this movie opens with our previously on
Friday the 13th where just like the second movie we basically
start with the last scene of the previous film where Jenny
discovers like the corpse pile and misses Voorhees desiccated
head. But we find out that after she
saved Paul by machete and Jason in the neck he didn't actually
die. Then we get probably the best
credits in the Friday the 13th series.
Yeah. They are red, there is fog
behind them and they are in 3D. It's a budget.
I was so pissed when you pick this.
I was like, not pissed that you picked it.
I said that completely wrong. I'm pissed that they thought
that the release of this like outside of theaters with no
glasses would like hit the same. Like how do you want to do a 3D
movie in this franchise and then be like it's good on its own.
Most of the kills, I think all of the kills actually are like
the about the. 3D moment. Being 3D.
There's so much random 3D in this that we don't need.
The yo-yo stop the yoghorn. Yeah, the baseball bat for no
reason that the kid was swinging.
They were like, we got access to 3D because this was came down
what, 86 or some shit, 80? 2 So it's really early on.
OK even even worse. Even worse they were brand new.
This is like when people first got AI and they did them videos
of Will Smith eating spaghetti. It is so bad now they redo the
the video of that and it's like crazy.
We're like, oh, put it on Netflix, you know, like, yeah,
this is what they was doing with 3D because that then like every
movie started coming out in 3D. They had Jaws 3D.
And then when it's that blockbuster, some of the movies
you could, they came with the glasses.
That's true. Yeah.
OK. Well. 3D of it all.
The 3D of it all, yeah, it was totally tubular.
That's what they would have said.
And you know, that's what they said when they made.
It. This is going to be like, so
bitching when it comes down. Yeah, like, OK, curly pop.
Bodacious, OH. God.
Peak 80s. So now we're immediately at the
Crystal Lake, you know, some Crystal Lake grocery store, and
we meet Harold and his nagging bitch wife Edna.
Edna is perfection because she is literally like 22, but she's
dressed like she's 82. Like why does this woman look
straight up like Sophia Petrillo?
Like in a head to toe fucking floral 90, her granny sweater,
her rollers, my God. Two things could be happening
here. First of all, look at the ***
she's married to. Oh yeah, I mean, he looks like a
he looks like a plumber who diddles kids.
I'm just going to say it. A *** who you shouldn't be with
will aid you rapidly. You know, Part 2, a *** who you
definitely belong with will make you so damn comfortable.
You will be so good being in goblin mode around him.
So but they could be so good. It turns her into a goblin mode
and she's just like, I was uncomfortable here.
I'm just going to put on this big ugly T-shirt and be myself.
And he's really like this bitch, you know, she.
Kind of gives me like evil young Shelley Duvall a little bit
perfect. And that's why I just love her
energy. She sasses him.
She like yells at him for eating a doughnut when he's supposed to
be losing weight. Like immediately in the
beginning of the movie, he like knocks something over outside.
And she just is like, oh God damn it, Harold.
Like I fucking clean up after your mess every day and you're
just knocking shit over. Like she just tears him apart
all day. You can tell.
But I love it because he was just like in the the market just
stress eating all the food off the shelves.
I'm like now you going to put y'all out of business?
It's your big ass rabbit, you and that Bunny for to eat y'all
out of house and home. And why is the Bunny in the
damn? In the lettuce.
Yeah. I'm like, he took the Bunny out
but you didn't check out that Bunny shat in there.
And where? Where does the Bunny normally
kick it? Where was he at before or she?
Like where is the Bunny before? A pen, because he goes to put
the Bunny back in the pen, and then he finds another Bunny
dead. And that's one of the 3D
moments, because a snake. Popped out, right?
The snake popped out. I remember when I was like, why
did it look like that? That is the only reason I
remembered that. Scene It looked like the snake
was on like a string, a little bit like.
Oh, it was someone's behind that shed wall with like a a really
thick pipe cleaner with a snake sheath over it it.
Like shook it at all delayed because I was like that was so
it just hit which makes it good for me.
Yeah, this, this 3D is pretty janky.
Like I'm sure it looks cool in the theater, but it was again,
such random things. Yeah.
And when you're in the theater, I'm sure in the time you're
like, dude, this is like cutting edge of technology.
Oh yeah, and you know how many people were high watching this?
People are probably passing joints in the theater.
Like when you're at a fucking. I don't know, I can't think of a
concert. A rusted root.
Is that a band? What the fuck?
That's supposed to be like a shittiest.
Sublime Band, yeah. You mean Through the Roots?
Because I went to high school with them.
I don't know. And they're a shitty reggae
band. I'll say that on my chest.
Fuck San Diego, I'll play it through the roots sucks.
Iration like you pass a joint at an Iration concert.
Even worse, they toured with them.
Oh God. God I hate white reggae. 311.
Safarian Music. Just stop I.
I do not want to hear a bunch of fucking rich trust when kids go
whoa. I do that's that's immediately
where I went too and I hate. It you do upwards like bro,
y'all had Scott, it was right there.
Oh my God. Which they also stole from black
people, Yeah. Get your tuba and start skanking
around here. I just skanked in my chair like
a fucking loser. I just mouthed the tuba.
That fucking who sings that shit is that mighty mighty boss to
fuck them. Fuck all of Scott.
Yeah, I was about to ride for No Doubt, but fuck Gwen Stefani,
our magazine. Stupid Catholic Lenten bitch.
Yeah, doing commercials for Alex Jones.
Fucking we should have known better because she's from Orange
County. But yeah, I know.
But we forgot, you know, because she was using little Japanese
girls and Latina girls as like little accessories.
So he was like, oh, she's down with us.
I was like no bitch, she's using y'all.
Oh yeah, I mean that bitch had like indentured servants I'm
sure. Yeah, she's like, I can't just
buy them Yeah and make them mine.
It's like no lamb that love Angel music baby.
She named like 4 Asian girls love Angel music and baby.
And it was like they made them little dolls and sold them as
perfume. And yeah, I bought a couple
shirts. I had a pair of pants from her
that I got from Buffalo Exchange.
I had a flannel and from my cold dead fingers like what's his
face in his rifle dude? Charlton Heston and his rifle.
He and my purple lamb flannel. There is no fucking way.
Hey, I have my black cotton hair and pants.
I still have them. They're slimming.
Yeah, I was like ahead of the game because nobody was really
wearing flannel like that, you know?
Nobody was like trying to make flannel fashionable.
It was like, Oh, my dad, where's that?
And I was like, OK, and I'm fucking him too.
Not with a gold Dinah tinsel in there, does he?
Thank you. And we know there's some tinsel
in that lightning. Come on, fuck with me.
And on the back it had that big ass here Zuku, here Zuku levers
like. Sort of like SO non patch kind
of thing. Come on, you already know you
probably see me in it because I was not giving it up.
I was like rain it religiously way past the time I should have
had it. But that's what I'd be doing
with my fly. Shit like a piece of clothing
and I fuck with Abby. I'm gonna have that until the
end of time. But I mean, that's not what
Friday the 13th is about. No, what it is about is taking a
shit. So OK, Harold is taking a nasty
shit and drinking whiskey at the same time as you do.
He hears a noise. He gets up and he pulls his
pants up over his shitty asshole without wiping.
And like this wasn't a noise where he clearly thought someone
was about to murder him. He did not jump up.
He gets up slowly and pulls his pants up after we just heard him
dropping loads in the bowl. Yeah, so this man is fucking
disgusting. But he gets up, and when he
opens that door, he gets a cleaver right to the chest.
Yeah, he does. Just like immediately.
Yeah, Jason was not a fan of that.
So Edna hears something and she gets scared by a 3D rat, which
was very cute. Yeah, I'm coming at the camera
and she gets a knitting needle to the back of the head.
Yeah, it was like again with the effects or like just here's them
on all the animals. Oh, yeah, Every animal that pops
out, everything that is like a long stabby shaped anything.
Yeah. But the next day, Chris Higgins,
played by Dana Kimmel. Debbie and Andy meet their
friend Shelley, who scares them by pretending to stab Andy
because Shelley is the stereotypical.
Overwhelming prankster. Annoying 80s prankster and he is
insufferable. Yeah.
He is awful and they're trying kind of set him up with Vera,
whose house they're at, and Vera is hot.
Vera is very hot. She is very disappointed that
it's Shelly. She is our Latina
representation, the first non white character in a Friday the
13th movie. And we are like let on to know
that she's gonna be our Latina goddess because we're introduced
to her by her mother just cursing at her friends or
whatever and her in Spanish. Yeah, her mom does not want her
to go, But I like that Vera's like, oh, you know, just your
basic old fashioned mother problems.
And she's just like normalizing the life of a Latina woman in
the US And I feel like that was not commonly done in the early
80s. No, not at all.
Like Friday the 13th Part 3 has messages about race and
inclusivity in it, but Chris panics and thinks her van is on
fire because smoke is billowing out of it.
But no, it's just your resident 80s stoners Chuck and fucking
chili. I love these two.
They're each smoking a massive bong in the back of the van.
Both. What I have to say is who are
they? How did they get in there?
Who do they know? How the fuck?
When the fuck? Why the fuck?
They're adorable. A couple that smokes together,
stays together, hello Whitney and Bobby.
But like they were so thrown off by them, like.
Yeah, like everyone else was traveling together.
Shelly and Andy are roommates. The girls clearly know Vera.
It's like everyone seems connected.
And then these two just show up in the van smoking bombs, look
10 years older than everybody else, and their connection is
never explained. And that what makes it so
interesting, I guess. Yeah, they're enigmas.
It's kind of funny because you know your Stoner friend friends,
like, if you and I were, like, left alone in a car and then
somebody came back and, like, saw smoke building out, they'd
be like, oh, yeah, it's Christina getting stoned.
How do you not know your Stoner friends are, like, in the car?
Like, you wouldn't assume that. Am I making sense?
Yeah, especially because they met Shelly at this house.
This is very house, so it would make sense to me that Chuck and
Chili would maybe also be meeting everyone, but there's
never anything explaining that. But it's odd that they're so
surprised. Chris clearly must have been
expecting them, right? Because if she wasn't, why the
fuck didn't she be Like, you 2 get the fuck out of my van.
Like who are you being? Are y'all here?
Yeah, like I didn't invite you guys.
Yeah, so clearly she was expecting them.
So yeah, like girl, did you not smell the smoke?
Yeah, you don't know your friends.
You just let anybody in your van.
We also get another lovely little 3D moment when they start
to drive up towards Crystal Lake and Andy asks for the joint, so
Chili passes it up. That's like my favorite one.
That was another one and I was like I'm pissed off but also
very entertained by the 3D of it all.
Yeah, because she hands it so slowly and it's clearly holding
it there for a prolonged, unnatural period of time.
Watch it. You're like, what is she doing?
Like what? She is concentrating way too
hard on holding a joint. And then you have to remember
you're like, Oh yeah, but it's in 3DS.
She probably had to hold that shit for a couple seconds really
still so like the 3D camera could render it or whatever the
fuck it does. Yeah, you got to look at it
closely. Yeah, I just love that the joint
was used in that way because why the fuck not?
But they hear police sirens behind them and panic and they
start eating all the weed as they like pull over.
But the cops passed them so they did it for fucking nothing.
But we do find out, which is something that I've never
noticed before, that Debbie is pregnant.
Yeah, she says. We're pregnant.
She says we're pregnant right there, that's why she won't eat
some of the weed. And like, nobody acknowledges it
for the rest of the movie. Yeah, it's literally never
mentioned again and I just can't actively remember ever hearing
it before. And I've seen this movie so many
times. Like when did that happen?
Yeah, she says it kind of softly.
And we couldn't never addressed. Yeah, it just, I don't know,
kind of just flies under the radar.
But the cops do pull up to Harold and Edna's murder scene,
which makes Chris paranoid because we find out that like,
something traumatic happened to her here two years ago.
Yeah. Then we get the eyeball 3D
moment where they run into a man sleeping in the middle of the
road and he goes to hand them an eyeball that some guy gave him
and it kind of looks like a mollusk.
I kind of wanted to fry that bitch up or serve it with a
mignonette. But they arrive at Higgins
Haven. Terrible name.
It is super cute though. Like this little like log area.
They got this cute little lake. This lake is little.
They tried to do a lot with this.
This is a puddle, not even a pond.
No, this is like some little, like, offshoot craggy part of
Crystal Lake that seems a little disconnected from the lake at
large. Yeah, because it feels like
we're always just confined in this little marshy area with all
these branches in it or something.
It look, it seems swampy here. It's not like a swimmable part
of the of the lake that you'd be like, this is a great vacation
destination. No, it seems really shallow.
Yeah, and murky and muddy. Like you could see the danger,
like you don't have to get in that water to know it's bad.
No, like the bridge and the property itself is cute.
It gives like, very, like, Japanese garden in a City Park
vibes a little bit. But like, the lake itself,
you're like. But Chris is immediately scared
inside by this asshole Rick, who apparently she used to, like,
know when she comes up here. He is a total fuck boy.
He is really pushy. And he has the nerve to, like,
tell Chris that he passed up a weekend with some bitch named
Mary Jo Conrad. I'm like, that is an ugly name.
Like, I'm sorry. Yeah.
Mary Jo Conrad. She probably like went on some
cool girls shit and just like call me Joe.
Yeah, she had her like Bad Santa.
Yeah, like Joe from Facts of Life.
Oh yeah, but Chris is like, yeah, you're dumb for passing
that up. And that's funny because I
really like how she is just not here for any of his advances.
She doesn't give a fuck. Not a single fuck was given with
her. No which real queen?
Fuck these *** Yeah, I appreciated her lack of giving
in to Rick. So Shelly pays a fucking prank
where he makes think Chris he's dead and he fucking kills the
mood. So him and Vera go to the store
and this fucking. Flirk.
This racist, ugly bitch. So fucking racist and ugly.
But then we racism met with more racism, kind of.
Well, yeah, because Vera goes to pay and the clerk is like, we
don't accept no food stamps. But The thing is like, obviously
this bitch is racist. She is wearing a pastel pink
tank top with a picture of a cartoon pig and a wig on it.
We cannot ignore that. But then Vera actually did
forget her wallet. So like she has this
embarrassing moment where it's like she knows that this racist
white bitch. Will have the last laugh.
She's going to feel validated in her stereotype because Vera
doesn't have any money on her. But like, we just saw Vera's
house. It's nice.
She's not poor. She just forgot her wallet.
Yeah, and she tells that they give me give me some money.
And then he thrown a wallet and this black quine intervenes.
And it's like, because the wallet falls on the floor
because this *** doesn't have hands.
No, no, neither does this girl. So it falls and this black woman
steps up and it's a black biker girl.
Yeah, she's fine, little baddie. And she was like, yo, bitch,
have some fucking manners up in this motherfucker.
And Vera's like, and this is right, you know, I'm talking
about, you know, the racism. And then it's like the the
blacks against the Browns. Now we go, you know, within each
other. And this is how we need to stop.
This is where it needs to stop with this, you know, this is
where we have could have had a unity and both these two baddies
could have ganged up on the cashier and then robbed the
store. Yeah.
I wish something happened so bad.
That would have been tight. The shoe would have been like
get money bitch, but also be nice about it.
But that didn't happen. So Fox was just like, yo bitch
have some fucking manners. And Vera was mad scared as she
should have been. And what was cute was like the
biker gang was like multiracial. It was kind of it was kind of
getting porn. It was like it was giving porno.
It was like a black couple and their white cock friend for the
night. Yeah, I was definitely getting
pansexual vibes from them for sure.
But there was also in a motorcycle gang and probably
another gang. Oh yeah.
So yeah, they are all getting tough in the store, freaking
them out and like, you know, scurries on out, she pays, grabs
the groceries. And then Shelly got the nerve to
be like, bitch, I was a 20 and you know, I don't give a fuck,
let's go. I'm like, she just saved your
ass because those guys were holding him hostage when Vera
was like dealing with Fox. Also, I feel like, I don't know,
I feel like the way that Fox bossed Vera around there was
like a little like Dom top energy coming from her.
Like yeah, bitch, you want to lick my boot, bitch?
She got 2 *** where do you think she got it from?
Yeah, the white one gave more twink energy.
Oh yes, he's the bottom. Loco is definitely the bottom
with Fox and with Ali with both of them.
Hmm. She doing both.
She got a strap on. Yeah, that's a Real Housewives
of Elena reference right there. She knew him both.
Shout out to Phaedra and Shumi and Portia.
But yeah, I was like, cool, we have a fucking Butch queen and
her two *** that do whatever she want.
And did you see that she had a lot of, like, turquoise jewelry
on, and she had, like, Thunderbird patches and, like,
emblems on her jacket? I feel like.
Yeah. And they weren't matching
everyone else's. They all had their own, like,
motifs on their leather. Yep.
I feel like maybe she was Indigenous representation too,
like Black Indigenous woman. Yeah, because she had nice hair,
it was all WAVY and she had real distinct eyebrows, but she ran
her up out of there. But Shelly is just such a He's a
schlep, and he's just got this neurotic energy.
He backs into their motorcycles while driving away.
Then Ali smashes his windshield with a fucking chain.
I was like, honestly, that was hot.
I don't know. We fuck with that.
But Shelley whips that little yellow VW Beetle around and runs
over Ollie's bike. But he, like, barely runs it
over, like he's trying to prove himself to Vera.
But he's like, I'll only run over the tire.
I'm not even gonna fuck up the bike that bad.
Yeah. But yeah.
The bikers find Higgins Haven, and they siphon the gas out of
the van. I like that she has a bumper
sticker that says fucking I heart skiing, but she also has a
bumper sticker that says Springsteen on it.
And to quote Dave Grohl, if Bruce Springsteen is the boss
then I quit. I am just not a fan.
Yeah, that's so funny that you mentioned that because I also am
not a fan of Dave Grohl, so. I'm not a fan of Dave Grohl
either. I guess my favorite saying the
worst person you know just said something you agree with.
Oh yeah, that's also the broken clock is right twice a day.
Twice a day, pay Azealia Banks. But I do like how Fox questions
if they should fuck with the people and drain the gas.
Like it gives a little like dimension her character.
Yeah, cuz it's like very few often do we get a black
character who we know is gonna die soon who gets kind of a
little bit of a flushed out background.
So we're like, she's a little bit of empathy, she requires
manners, she likes sex with AI and Z.
And she had fun swinging on that like pulley rope in the in the
bar she. Loved it.
She she was living her best life.
But yeah, her and Logo both get killed with a pitchfork by
Jason, who then knocks Ali out and seemingly bludgeons him.
But. They all die quick.
They do, yeah. They just get right to it with
this, which is what I enjoyed. Yeah, now, now the ball starts
rolling. We had a long time without a
death and now it's just like 1 2/3.
Yeah, they were like, we give you the 3D just to show you what
magic we got up our sleeves, and now we're going to show you how
we incorporate it now into the killing.
There was so many 3D shots of the pitchfork and the handles of
the pitchfork throughout all those dent scenes.
I was like, OK, how many times do we need to see the handle
coming at us? I'm not OK You're going to see
it until we get tired of seeing it, and we're never going to get
tired. I'm like, are they trying to
just make us afraid we're going to get a splinter through the
screen? Like Jesus Christ, I feel like
we got the handle more than those pointy part.
They wanted people jumping, jumping in that theater.
But you know, now we get Chris's back story about the night two
years ago where I guess Rick dropped her off at Higgins Haven
after like they did it or had a date or whatever and her parents
yelled at her and her mom slapped her and she ran into the
woods and hid. But she fell asleep.
And when she woke up, I know what kind of fucking white girl
shit is that? You run into the woods and take
a nap to hide from your parents. And me of all people are like, I
can fall asleep on a like anywhere.
I can literally fall asleep like on the fucking top of a mountain
if I needed to like in the most uncomfortable place ever.
And I still would not just be like these woods look comforting
enough for a quick nap. Not woods.
I'm not even afraid of bugs, but like in the dark, you can't see
where you're really laying down. I need to see in the woods where
I'm laying down. And I'm afraid of bugs going to
my coochie. And there's snakes in these
woods we've already established so.
Yeah, I don't want nothing in my.
Coochie. You don't want a snake calling
up your coochie when you're sleeping, no.
Snake coochies? No.
Gucci. Snakes.
Gucci. Snakes, I wonder.
Never mind. I was going to be like, I wonder
how big a snake's coochie is. But we don't need to.
Talk. I don't think snakes have
Gucci's. I mean they do give birth but
like it's not like the same. Does a snake?
Does a snake snake lays eggs? Yeah.
Because they're a reptile. Yeah, OK, but they have to fuck,
right? Or do they just like fertilize
like a fish? No, that's not how they would.
How does snakes work? They like they they do it, but
like they don't like do it like the way that like that, like we
do it. You guys Google?
It yeah, I'm too high to get into.
Snakes. Fucking tell us in the comments
how snakes. Fuck, I hope they twist up like
on the cover of Snakes on a Plane.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even though that made no sense. If you try, if you look at the
snakes on a plane cover, the snake parts don't match up.
Yeah. I hope they look like that, like
the Blue Cross Blue Shield. Yeah, OK.
Yeah. Oh, God, We we're on a tangent
about snake sex. So she wakes up to Jason, of
course, who she describes as a hideous, grotesque man, almost
inhuman, with a knife, and he chases her.
And then he catches her and drags her away in the woods, but
she passes out. And she apparently she woke up
in her own bed, not remembering the end of it.
And her parents act like nothing ever happened.
So it's basically like a metaphor for trauma and the
people that you love often just telling you to dismiss it
because, you know, dealing with trauma is hard.
Yeah. And like, if you're dealing with
your trauma, then the people around you are going to have to
deal with it. And they?
Didn't want to deal with it and that's far too much.
Yeah. And that's relatable.
Honestly, I hate when people die because it's like, Oh no, I have
to like comfort you. And it's like hard.
But like when I'm going through a hard time, I'm like, you guys
need to comfort me. It is difficult, the duality of
life. Yeah, but I also like will go
through something extremely heavy and then like not tell
anybody until I'm I'm through it and then I'll like seek comfort.
But like when is happening, I don't want comfort.
I don't want anyone to know. I'm kind of like that too.
I don't want people present for the most vulnerable moments.
No, I don't want you feeling sorry for me.
I don't want you thinking, thinking like, Oh my God, she
needs me right now. I don't need anyone.
I don't need anything. I'm I'm a very independent
woman. The shoes on my feet.
I bought it because I have a pinned on me if I want it.
It's a rock, so I'm. Rocking.
Yeah, yeah. The car I'm driving, I bought
it. The house.
The house I live in, I bought it 'cause I had depend on.
I had been on me, I had been on me, all the women.
That's exactly how I feel when, like, tragedy strikes.
Yeah. That's such a drag name.
Tell me what you think about me. What?
Tragedy strikes. Oh yeah, that's seriously a
great name. Tragedy Strikes is a great name.
Yeah seriously, when someone says question with the right
inflection every single time it leads me into independent women
Part Yeah 1. And I'm like question, even if I
say like the question, I'm like, tell me what you think about me.
I'm a moaned. Yeah, I do all that and I don't
need your fucking sympathy, OK? Yeah, I feel that way too.
It's like, yeah, you cannot see me when I'm crying the most.
No, I can't. I'm sorry.
Are you fucking serious? I wish I could, but I can't.
So you can tell people. Yeah.
And then you can throw it in my face later and say how you were
there for me so that I inherently have to be there for
you. Oh fuck no.
Looking desperate is the most uncomfortable thing.
And then also having tear up like reciprocity in that, yeah,
in order to have a friend, you have to be a friend.
I don't want to do that all the time.
It is so hard, like I can come for people, but sometimes like
the second hand awkwardness or just the awkwardness is so
intense. You're like hugging someone and
they're crying into you and you just want to die in that moment
because it just feels like there's nothing you can.
Do and it's like like you're getting your tears on me also
like you're snot and you're like sweaty and like your fluids are
on me and like, no, I have to take that with me.
And then I have to reflect on if I was supportive enough and like
how I could have been there more and now it's going to be all
about you. And I think that's like why our
relationship works because we understand that about each other
and we also are like, Hey girl, I know how you how you doing?
I know you don't know what you need right now, but you know you
if you need me, I'm here and vice versa.
And it's always just work for us.
We have a very clear understanding of how shit goes
and you need friends like that because some friends are an
emotional. Burden.
They're a boondoggle to your mental health.
You know, like. Everybody has friends where
you're like, I just don't have the capacity.
Don't they call it the The Crisis Friend?
Isn't that what they say? And if somebody who's like
literally never had a good day, me personally, like I hate a
bitch who's never in a good mood, like I'm never in a good
mood. Like as a, as a bit like it's
funny. Like everybody knows I'm
actually kidding. I'm I'm like bitchy for laughs.
I'm not like bitchy to be like hurtful or spiteful or like
people are like Nikki, how you doing?
And I'm like terrible. It's like ha ha, ha, ha, ha.
But it's not like Nikki, how you doing?
I'm like, Oh my God, my dog just said and I can't pay my rent and
I can't pay for that and I might not be able to go back to school
and I can't. And I think I'm being diagnosed
with with ADHD. Oh my God.
I. Don't.
Care and The thing is like I understand those people and
bitch we all have our day but that's the thing like everyone
in the friend circle needs their moment to be that person and
some people just suck up all the crying you.
Hog the mic. You hog the mic when it's time
to cry. And it's like, girl, we don't
care no more. And I'm I'm fresh out of tissue.
Use your shirt because this one is new like.
You're not your problem. And it's not my problem.
Fuck away from me. Oh God.
Enough of being me. Like fucking being like the
emotionally insensitive, like cold person that I already have
a great reputation of being. OK, but my God, where are we?
Oh, yeah. So back from that raucous moment
we had, I do feel like there's an implication here that Chris
was raped or that. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to make light. We were just laughing and now
we're talking about something really deep trigger.
Warning trigger. Yeah, we're going to trigger
warning this in the description. And maybe edit out them laughs.
Say it again. Hold on without laughing this
time. Yeah, but to transition out of
that funny moment. You said it like I feel like
Christmas, right? Like, come on dog, you can leave
this part in the show because I fucked it up.
But okay, on the count of three, we're going to be 1, 2-3 trigger
warning. Because we're segwaying from
just laughing a lot into a more serious direction.
Because it does feel like, based on what Chris is retelling Rick,
there's an implication that she was raped by Jason.
Or at least that this experience at Higgins Haven is a metaphor
for intense traumas like rape or sexual assault.
Something that you go to repress because it was so intense and
you couldn't immediately deal with it.
Whoo did it, OK, we're responsible.
But now as quick as we got introduced to our first non
white character of this franchise, we lose her.
Vera is sitting on the dock with her feet tangling over the water
and of course stupid fucking Jelly with his spear and a
hockey mask scares her. But this is iconic because this
is the hockey mask that Jason will eventually take and becomes
his famous hockey mask. Like this is the moment where he
finally gets it. Yeah, it's funny because the
character who is the least likable is Jason's favorite and
most inspirational. That is a diva.
I can learn a thing. Maybe Jason's just trolling the
whole time. He's having a great fucking time
killing all these kids. I would love that for him.
That's what I feel like about this movie.
Like everybody here is disposable.
We all know going into it, everybody here is going to die.
And this is just about like a vacation to your own general,
but in a fun way. It's kind of like just like a
little little campy and silly. You're going to die, but you're
going to have fun. Oh yeah, and it's a good death
that she gets because Oh my God. But fucking Shelly tells her
that he hopes that this teaches her the lesson that a pretty
girl like her shouldn't go out in the dark alone.
And it's like, I can't wait for you to fucking get it.
He's so gross. He's like, being a jerk is
better than being a nothing. And I'm like, not really,
because no one is taking this positively from you.
No, it's not landing. Like you're only around because
you're Andy's roommate and it feels like maybe because other
people feel better when they're around you because they're not
you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're everyone else's self-confidence boost.
Oh God, and we all have that person we used to keep around.
Yeah, and I feel bad because it's often someone who acts and
looks like this, Yeah, but you know, when you overcompensate in
this way, it's just really off putting and alienating.
I need you around to make me look better, hey?
Truth hurts. They're they're young people.
Young people are mean. Yeah.
But he's fucking mean and he is just constantly fucking with
everyone and I'm like, there's other ways of getting attention.
It's one thing to be like a jokester because me as someone
who like, you know, all of my relationships, I will say all of
my romantic relationships, I've always had the problem of them
being like, I never know when you're joking or being serious.
It's because I've cussed them out and told them to like get
the fuck out and go die in traffic.
And they're like, you can tell those a joke.
You're not. Like you will fucking kill
yourself. I don't know.
Nikki got a dark sense of humor. I can't really tell if that was
a read or a suggestion. Especially because she talks
about herself like that. I'll fucking kill myself.
And it's because I can't get a broccoli chinner, bread bowl,
Panera. But I hate being scared.
I hate when people jump out and scare me.
I hate when people try to jump scare me because I've fought
people for that before, like, and they've all been men and I
don't care. But like, don't run up on me.
I'm a woman like. I don't like it either.
I feel like Bobby Hill. You can't take my purse.
Or Mrs. Doubtfire, when they go to take her for her she beats
them up. Broke the strep the bestest.
Yeah, dude. So it's like if you try to jump
out at Jerry and I have a knife, so my instinct is to like pull
that motherfucker out or use my hand.
This is weird but in high school me and my friends when we were
on fire island we would stay at one of their mom's houses on
fire island in the summer usually for about a week.
Like if you know, Fire Island, there's tall grasses every
anywhere and we would hide in the tall grasses and jump out
and scare people. I cannot believe as the one like
male, quote UN quote in that group that I never got decked.
It wasn't long. I feel like we only did it like
one or two summers. But like, I hate that and I hate
when people do it to me. And I'm shocked to this day that
like when I was like 1617, I scared people just on the
walkway and it was usually like drunk people.
Oh God, it's like the worst. I think we threw water balloons
too, Like Long Island kids are evil.
I used to rush it from high up. But what I used to do, what I
used to do is I lived in a like a high rise building essentially
when I was younger and all my neighbors would like get drunk
and be partying downstairs. And so I would yell to him, shut
up, be quiet, get get the fuck inside, Fuck, fuck you, you.
And I was like, like yell like expletives out of the window.
And then I would like duck. And then you can see.
Wait, how old were you? Oh, at least like 8.
Oh my God. 8 or 9, maybe 10. That's funny.
Not giving a fuck because I'd be like, dude, they're loud.
It'd be like 2:00 in the afternoon when I get out of
school. Just like be at home summertime,
home alone all day, hear people outside having fun.
And I couldn't go outside because my mom would be like,
you stay home and you don't, you don't open the door for no
nobody and don't let anybody just, you know, the only child,
like last kids, so CPS doesn't show up.
And so I'd be bored in the house and I'd be calling people prank
calling and then I'd see people outside having fun.
Like fuck you, I. Love to prank people on my next
hell walkie-talkie. Love to prank call, love to
prank call. But like pranking people like
you're dead. Like when he was in the closet
with the fucking fake blood and then he went as far as getting
like a hair piece to like mimic having like a hatchet to his
head. Oh yes, yes, yes.
When he scared Chris earlier. I'm like dude.
These are too elaborate. You're too big, too old, too too
much. Everything.
We're describing our little high jinks.
We were under 18. Yeah, he's in his early 20s and
just seems like he's 6. You can.
Buy beer and you're buying fake blood to scare your friends.
And it just feels like he's never getting a positive
reaction. And no, pussy, This is why.
This is why you're not getting bitches because you're too busy
at the damn Spirit Halloween store trying to rack up little
props so you can freak out your friends.
None of these men really respect any of the women.
Like they just make them all feel like pieces of meat.
Even Andy, who's dating Debbie kind of randomly at one point is
just like, you want to go fuck? And she's like, go fucking beat,
beat your meter. Whatever she says, she says go.
She basically tells him to go fuck himself in so many words.
The dude that was the one who pulled her, pulled her up by the
rope and then dropped her. Oh no, that's Rick.
And he's the one who is like, who could walk on his hands.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Rick was the worst though.
I'll be honest, I only know four names.
I know Chris, Shelley, Rick and Jason.
OK, so everybody else is just like some random motherfuckers.
Well, Vera, she goes to sit back on the dock after fucking Shelly
scares her and fucks off to the barn and Jason comes up and
shoots her through the eye with a harpoon gun.
Very cool. It was really cool.
She got a fun death. It was obviously in 3D.
We saw that harpoon coming right at her.
And I love her red swishy thriller jumpsuit.
Uh huh, uh huh. That was super cute.
When I looked at her and it was like, yeah, thriller, yeah.
But now Debbie goes to shower after she and Andy fuck titties.
Her titties were great. I wrote rock and tits.
Great, great little teardrop. It's a great little teardrop
nip. It's a great, great tip,
wonderful New York boobs. And Andy goes to get them beers
while walking on his hands for like no discernible reason other
than the fact that this actor can do that.
Like why is he handstand walking?
He has to go down spiral stairs. People who can do a shoe like
that, because I have a friend who's like a little tiny, she's
tiny and like a ninja. And so any moment she can't and
she's, she's stripped. So it's like even more
incentive. Anytime she sees a stop sign,
she will treat it as a pole. But she's she was always on her
hands doing hand stands. Maddie could do a backflip, so
he'll do a backflip at the drop of a.
It's like people who can like gymnasts, you know?
I can't do any cool shit like that with my body.
But if you could, you would, you know what I'm saying?
It's like if I could dance like Omarion every minute, I I would
if I could, if I could sing like Beyoncé, I would be singing
every word of what I'm singing in this podcast.
Turn into an album and no longer a podcast, You know, so it's
like I understand, but the gymnast, you gymnast *** need to
quit it because I don't want to be mid sentence.
And then you just like front flip out of nowhere with with no
running head start. I hate that.
No, well, and Jason wasn't
fucking amused because he hand walks into handstand, walks
whatever you call it into Jason, and Jason chops him down the
taint with a machete. Literally.
Taint that a bitch. Yeah.
Thank you. It was a really cool shot
though. You know they clearly filmed it
through like a piece of plexiglass from underneath.
Gave us his nuts in 3D, no? No, that would have been nice.
Andy was the cute one. He was.
He looked like a little Italian
boy. But Debbie gets out of the
shower and she doesn't want her beer anymore and I was thinking
for the first time maybe because the shower snapped her out of
her like post sex high and she was thinking about her baby.
Maybe I shouldn't have a fucking beer if I'm pregnant.
Oh yeah, because they don't mention it again.
They don't. Mention it again, No.
And she's like, no, I don't think I'm going to have a beer.
And I thought about that too. Like, why wouldn't she want a
drink? And it's like, yeah, cuz they
like very casually dropped that she was pregnant.
They like mentioned it like she's a Pisces.
Like what they really did. They really did.
Maybe they didn't want it to be a thing because they didn't want
it to get in the way. But why even have her be
pregnant then? It would have made no
difference. Like just make her a Pisces.
Maybe it's just makes her inevitable death sad because she
lays down in the hammock because their bedroom has a hammock for
whatever reason. I would be so mad at Chris if I
thought I was getting a room with my boyfriend and we had to
sleep in a hammock. Like.
You're sleeping in here, bitch. Yeah.
What the fuck who's asked have to be to get a bed?
But I like how she's reading about Tom Savini and Godzilla in
the magazine, but blood drips on it.
She looks up and Andy's dead body is all I contorted up in
the ceiling beams. It's kind of like in mid Somar.
He's like hanging. Oh.
Yeah, yeah, one of his arms, like, daggling through, but she
gets a knife through her back, like kind of through her neck,
too. Like reminiscent of Kevin Bacon
from the first film. Yeah, and it cut smooth just
like a like a big butter. It was a nice smooth slit.
I'm going to be like, that's how my vagina is described.
Okay. Nice, smooth.
Okay, no hair down there. No.
Okay. OK, this is my OK.
But Chuck asks Chili why she never screams like Debbie does
during sex and she's like, give me something to scream about.
And I love that comeback. And then she started faking it
and it was like, yes, Queen, yes, like him.
Also, do you love Chili is wearing a blue sweater with a
blue rope necklace attached to a blue cowboy boot?
All these Blues are the same color.
This necklace is not fashionably draped.
This boot is huge. Why?
I absolutely fucking love it and I kind of want to dress as her
for Halloween. They'll just cut off the lights
and then dig through your closet because that's what she did.
Yeah, she was like all the Blues in the side.
So I'll just put it all on. Are you going to like blend in
if you get thrown out of a plane?
Into the ocean because. She was also wearing light
washed denim. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's like, I want to be camouflaged.
The sky. Yeah.
And the water. Yeah, oh, Jesus Christ.
But the lights go out and Chuck goes to like, turn on the
circuit breaker or the fuse box or whatever, and Shelley comes
to the door with a slit throat. But Shelley thinks it's a prank
and doesn't help him. Because this is what you get.
That's what you get, the boy who cried wolf.
And also, don't nobody care that you're dead?
We were relieved, my *** We kind of glad.
They're like, thank God. In my notes, I wrote and then
everybody clapped. Yeah, we can see him.
God, yeah, no more motherfucking pranks.
But yeah, Chuck flicks on the lights and immediately Jason
grabs him and throws him into the wires, which just
electrocute him to death right there.
I'm like, is that how electrocution works?
Like if you just fall into a bunch of wires that are sitting
on the wall where they normally sit, you just die?
Do. You remember it in Butcher
Baker, Nightmare Maker where she threw the ropes at the the the
Auntie Mama lady. She just threw the heavy ropes.
She was. Like what are you doing?
Like that's not how you use a rope to kill someone you.
Know rage, she is not being stopped.
Now she just has rope on her and she's mad.
So does she's madder. Like what?
That was so funny. That's like, well we'll get to
that in a second because there is something else funny like
that that happens in this movie. But Shelly realizes Shelly
actually is dead and her reaction is just amazing.
This is the best kill to me. She walks through the house and
up the stairs screaming with 0 urgency.
Like she is walking to like, I don't know, like turn off the
sink so she sees the bodies and walks slightly quicker down the
stairs going Oh my God, Oh my God.
And it immediately made me think of the mother from Blood Rage.
Oh my God. When she's like Todd, I'm Jad.
God, yeah. One of our best episodes, you
guys, you guys have to go listen to that one.
That one is funny. It's so good.
She also kind of squawks like Shirley from Laverne and
Shirley. It's like, Oh my God, it's
almost like God. Oh yeah, Penny Marshall.
Yeah, no, the other one, the one we forgot her name once and
we're forgetting it again. I only know Penny, Marshall and
Squiggy. Hey, girl, lady.
You know who you are, Cindy. Cindy Williams.
I think it's Cindy Williams. There we go.
We we got to it. We got to it eventually.
But yeah, she gets downstairs and Jason stabs Chilly right by
her fucking cowboy boot necklace in the stomach with a hot fire
poker and she goes and dies. That's it.
Our high P. Aw, that's what I want when I
die. I want our our high P.
Yes please, if you could fit it on my headstone and it doesn't
cost too much extra, I'll leave the money in the will.
You're a Gemini, so by default your headstone is going to say,
well actually. Yeah, Oh my God, it totally is.
Yeah, well, actually I have more information for you.
A walking Wikipedia. Like who needs ChatGPT when we
have Gemini's all around the world ready to tell us
information? That's true.
I'm just a rolodex of useless bullshit.
I don't know why I remember this shit.
I remember. And like, thoroughly remember
it. Yeah, you and I are a bad combo.
Because we we. Who needs a court reporter when
you have Chris and I in a room? Chris has time stamps and I have
facial emotions like I don't know exactly what face you made
and how you said it when you said it.
I know the elimination order of every cycle of America's Next
Top Model. You do.
Why? I don't know why I know this.
You do? Is that the only competition
series you know the order of? Probably Drag Race, probably
Project Runway. I was like, I think you probably
know Drag Race just as well. And I, you know, Drag Race the
way that I know fucking Real Housewives of it, Like of
everything. It's crazy, I wish I didn't have
that brain. But also sometimes it's fun to
just be able to pull out random shit and have people think
you're amazing even though it's just, it's not that it's it's
like the things I don't know are people are.
Being awe, if you could say that to them and they're like, do you
know how to send APDF? And you're like, I don't fucking
know what that means. No, I'm not a pedophile.
Bitch, you asked me to do like a formula on Excel.
No, that's gone. But I know when so and so went
home. But I know that Red Oyster
eliminated herself in the top 7 because she had a family
emergency. See spoilers for Flavor of Love
Season 1 from 2000. 6 And she did, and New York was like,
you're the only bitch in the South that I respect.
That's true because she was like the the shady information
gathering one. Yeah.
The snitch. She was the snitch.
I'm like, that's the one in New York.
Respects. Yeah, because she was like, I'm
getting the tea on these bitches, and now I got one up on
who's trying to take my man. Yeah, my man, being Flavor Flav,
I. Know Oh my God but Chris and
Rick get to the house and Rick goes outside to like find people
and Jason grabs his ass and squeezes his head until his eye
pops out and we get a live eye in 3D.
They gave us a mollusk ripped out eye and now they gave us
this douchebags eye. The fact that he's dead, Rick is
dead and he ain't got no head, and I'm just happy that we never
got to see Chris give in and fuck him.
Yeah, yeah, I did like that a lot actually.
Because a lot of horror Bros don't like this sequel or this
entry in the franchise and I think a lot of it boils down to
that. They think Chris is a bitch.
She withholds sex. Debbie does fuck Andy, but she
also like tells him to go fucking jerk himself off at one
point. Angie's pregnant, so it's like
she's already fucking kind of thing, you know?
Yeah, Vera turns down Shelley, so I feel like a lot of men
aren't getting it in this movie, and straight dudes don't like
that. Especially Rick, who's supposed
to be like the hunky guy getting the final girl.
Well, he didn't get it and he's dead.
Yep, Yep. Sucks to suck, but I think yeah,
that's that's why this this one didn't connect with a lot of
horror bitches until recently when queer people and women are
more integrated into the community.
But Chris just starts finding bodies and shit.
She calls out Rick help me and his bitch ass corpse gets thrown
through the window right in front of her and this is like
another girl you tried because she runs up the stairs as Jason
runs into the window and just drops books on him.
I like yeah she's fighting but I feel like the books aren't
helping. At all.
Like, okay, not one of them is damn encyclopedia.
Exactly. These were not leather bound
books. There wasn't no King James
Bible. No.
No Britannica. You had like a Zine.
Yeah, you dropped a bunch of copies of X-Men on him.
Yeah. Comics.
I'm weak. But she grabs the fucking knife
out of Debbie's body and she just like stabs him in the hand
and the leg and then she runs into the barn and jumps off of a
beam onto him and knocks him down.
Like I have to say, this bitch really fights.
She's doing some parkour. She is doing a lot like she
stabbed him, she hit him, she knocked him over.
Like she jumped on top of him. Like I really feel like she is
one of the most proactive final girls.
I feel like she's fighting really hard, but she's like, I
feel like they're trying to show us that she's mentally
deteriorating in the process. Her trauma is she's facing it,
but it's, you know, it's eating her ass up a little bit.
Yeah, well, maybe they should have put her trauma in 3D so I
could have sneezed it a little more.
Yeah, listen, this is not a deep exploration of trauma at all by
any means. It is quite service level.
But the fact that for a Friday the 13th movie is there at all
is pretty impressive when most of the like OG fans of this
movie did not see that shit. No, not at all.
They weren't looking for and we weren't.
I don't think as a society we're really trained in the 80s to
look for those messages. Deep meetings and shit.
They're like, we already have the Nile living dead.
They're like, that's the steepest ones again.
They let a black guy like, yeah. Yeah, this is still the third
entry in a long slasher sequel like series.
This is not high art. Yeah.
But she really amps it up because she like, hits him with
a shovel and he chases her upstairs and she ties a rope
around his neck and hangs his ass.
Yeah. And does.
I was like dank, why? Why are you so good at that?
I feel like every white woman is capable but.
Oh my God, they teased us with the rope the whole movie, but oh
God, I mean truthfully, none of the people of color survived
this movie. It was like, well if I can't use
it on them. At least get the next biggest
villain, Jason, OK? Look at the next villain.
The first is diversity. Die Chris Higgins was coming for
die before Donald Trump or DEID i.e.
I. Am so die is like what they're
calling it. They're like we wanted to die.
Yeah, you want Dei to? Diversity.
I didn't mean to do that. So there's a conservative
listener out there who's so glad you did.
So they just clipped that up and be like, we finally got him.
We got him. Oh God, got.
Him. But when she goes to leave the
bar and Jason's alive and takes off his mask and she recognizes
him as the man who terrorized her in the woods two years ago,
and our approach, her reaction shots are so good.
It's almost like the serious version of Anna Faris and Scary
Movie. Oh yeah.
She's very specific. Like, she's very shocked, very
believable. Yeah.
But you can tell that her mind is turning to dust and blowing
away in the wind. Yeah, cuz little by little when
you realize them dreams as memories, bitch, that'll gag
you. Exactly.
They're memories and like in a way she's horrified, but she's
also kind of validated. That's why she's like cracking
up at like the fact that Oh my God, like I was right.
I'm not crazy, but just the realization of it is kind of
making her quote UN quote crazy because it's so much to process.
Yeah, fuck yeah. I mean, everybody, everybody's
had that like, well, hopefully not, but like people who have
had a revelation of some shit happen, not necessarily
regarding like assault or anything, but like when you
realize some shit where you're like, Oh my God, everything I
thought was true is true. And I'm, yeah, you're right.
The validation of it all is just like crazy.
And so you're like literally like I'm no longer gaslighting
myself or being gaslit by others or like, you know, being fucking
just made to believe that I'm fucking not witnessing or
enduring what I'm enduring. And now I'm scared because this
shit is real and what I. Exactly.
Fake or whatever the fuck isn't and now I had to do something
about it and I got to do something quick.
AKA trying to save myself. And for real, like the acting in
Friday the 13th movies, it's usually average to below
average. There's not a lot of great
acting in these films. But her reactions here, you see
all of what you just said in like a few seconds in her face,
like, Oh my God, I'm validated. But also, Oh my God, this is
happening. It's crazy.
It's like all of that at once, just in one look, and I don't
know, she sold it. It's not like the greatest
performance ever, but this is a good moment.
Yeah, it's good enough for me. And honestly, I put the battery
in my back. I was like, shit, if she could
do it, I could do it. Let me get it on the game
screen. I'm about to get in somebody's
little acting class. Gal Gadot, get out of the way.
You're not the only bad actress in town.
Oh no. She's a lot of scientists, yeah.
Galaga. No, she better don't.
Movie again? Yeah.
No, no, please don't go away. We don't need you.
But yeah, I did like her as a final girl for the reason that
you stated. Like we got a final girl that
was headstrong, not giving up the coochie.
Believed in herself, trusted her gut, trust her instinct.
Read the room. Look at her surroundings.
Shit was always up for her. And all of her ideas when
fighting Jason weren't great, but she kept having them.
She didn't get stumped. She didn't give up.
Even when she did that little weak ass fall when she had
plenty of time to get away. You know what I'm saying?
Like when she got out of that van.
And she? Yeah, weak ass.
Well, I was like, girl, you decide to call now.
Well, also, that's when she was like on the bridge and like she
tried to get away in the van and like the tire got stuck, but
like it ran out of gas, obviously, because they siphoned
it. The biker siphoned it.
But she had reserves. Cars used to have reserve tanks.
A minivan would have a reserve. I mean, because it's not a
minivan, that's a van. It was a van.
But they have reserve gas tanks and cars like that.
I did not know that that existed.
Maybe I learned me something about the early 80s today and
before. Yeah, I definitely did, but I'm
I was gagged. I forgot about the siphoning
too. Let me tell you a story real
quick. In high school, I grew up with
rich kids who had access to their parents medicine cabinets
or whatever. OK.
And so like an oxy addiction turn into just like the harder
stuff type shit. Yeah.
But one night I was like at home and my family was home.
It was like a school night. I was in high school and I had
somebody like knock on my door and I went to go answer my door
and it was my fucking, my weed man.
And this and his like homeboy named Dennis Denniston.
And yes, his real name is Dennis Denniston.
Please don't look him up, you guys, because I don't know if
he's still with us. And I also don't know how he
feels about me putting him on Front Street, but anyways, I
don't care. This is a good story.
So this guy Pringle, because that was my drug dealer's name.
He was like, Nikki, can you like let us in really quick?
And we like use your can we use your bathroom?
Can we use something in your house?
I'm like, why? And, and the look on Dennis's
face, Dennis is just like ventilating, yeah, like, look of
panic, but he won't open his mouth.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
He's like Dennis and I just like siphon gas.
He's got a mouthful of gasoline and he needs to fucking spit it
out and put it somewhere so I can get my car into it.
And I was like, no. And I just slammed the door in
the face. What the fuck?
Why does he have gasoline in his mouth?
Get out of here. I was like, my parents are home
and I just shut the door. Bitch it's in his mouth.
What is that even? Is that even 1/4 gallon?
It can't even be. You got $0.81 of gas in your
mouth. Either he had he had the gas in
his mouth or he just had it in his mouth because they siphoned
gas and he got gas in his mouth and he needed a rinse out his
mouth or something. Either way, there was gasoline
in his mouth at one point or another and they needed my help
with fixing whatever they were doing.
And I guess my house is because my house is literally like
walking distance to a gas station.
And I was like, oh fuck no, get out of here, scram.
Yeah, You don't want to know what they were just into.
You don't want to get involved in that shit.
Yeah. That's weird.
Yeah, it's so weird. Is that Rancho Bernardo?
This happened. Yeah, absolutely.
That sounds about right. So when Chris realizes that
Jason is the guy from her past, he rips the rope with his
machete and approaches her. And Ali comes out of nowhere.
He is still alive, but he immediately gets his arm cut off
and hacked to death. So it was pretty much all for
nothing except it bought, I guess Chris a couple seconds to
pick up an axe and plant it right in Jason's forehead.
Love that. But yeah, he reaches out to
Chris and she is terrified. And it's like she's reliving all
her trauma again. But he falls down dead and she
just, like, gets at a canoe, pushes it out into the lake and
passes out, just like she passed out when she went and slept in
the woods two years ago. I'm like, Mama, you were just
repeating it. It's like last time you went
through something traumatic and then you went off and passed
out. You just went through something
traumatic again and you went off and passed out in a canoe.
In a canoe. And we know this nigga's dead.
Not dead so. But wait, there's more.
Yeah, because she looks up and sees him through a window on the
top floor of the house with this goofy ass smile on his face.
He kind of looks like Sloth from The Goonies.
Yeah, he died. He really does but he runs out
of the house and she's fucking paddling away and when he she
looks back he's gone but then misses.
Voorhees corpse rises from behind her out of the lake and
drags her from the canoe down below.
And honestly the look of shock on her face as she is being
dragged into the lake is fucking everything.
Like she looks genuinely fucking shocked.
Yeah, as you should be, bitch. Yeah, but later the police
escort her from the house to the squad car, and Mama is cracked
because she is, like, oscillating between screaming
and laughing, Like, like, she looks like an extra in a loony
bin in, like, one floor over the cuckoo's nest.
You know, she's very stereotypical.
It reminds me of that joke that Katt Williams told when he said
they caught Britney Spears. It was after like she shaved her
head and she was on the on the bed and she was a psych.
Yeah. We didn't know she was happy,
scared or sad. All the emotions at once.
Because again, just like her other reaction when she realized
who he was, the unbelievability of the fact that it really all
happened. And like, you were right, but
like, I'm pretty fucked up because I went through that.
Yeah. So it all hit her at once, but
when they cart her away, we see that Jason's body is still in
the barn where she hit him with the axe, implying that
everything afterwards where she saw him upstairs in the house
was imagined. And honestly, like, I feel like
that's like the metaphor for you can deal with your trauma, you
can kill or put an end to the catalyst or whoever like
inflicted the trauma upon you, but it's still there.
Like the trauma itself lingers on past the death of the person
who inflicted it. Oh Yikes.
And if we are going to tie it back to the trigger warning,
trigger warning trigger running SA conversation from earlier,
that often is the case, if not always the case.
Like even even for the the girlies and girlies is AGNC term
for me. But for the people who do get
quote UN quote justice Allah like through the courts, seeing
their perpetrator behind bars is just still not the same.
Even like if their person dies, it's like, OK, well I was still
violated. So there's not really much peace
there. Exactly.
And even like on some non essay should if we like, take that
out, like if somebody murdered my whole family or my whole
friend group, Yeah. And then like they die.
Like, yeah, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be like, OK, good.
They're dead. But I'm not gonna be like, I'm
not gonna feel any better. No, it doesn't change anything.
Yeah, it's already been done. They already took away what they
took away, and their death does not.
It doesn't actually give closure.
It could give maybe a modicum, a little an iota of closure, but
that's not what it's about. That's why an eye for an eye,
that shit is real. Two wrongs often never make a
right. Yeah, cuz if you're like a good
empathetic person, getting revenge will just make you feel
bad. Like you get that immediate
catharsis, but once the high and the endorphins subside, then
you're like, oh fuck, I stoop to their level.
And like, we can't always be Michelle Obama going high.
But like, you know, there's a something about such intense
revenge and vengeance in general is I just feel like not good for
the soul. Even sometimes when I've gotten
some petty revenge I felt like God damn it I wish I would have
just left it because now I. Yeah, I wish you would have left
me the fuck alone. Now I feel like I've like I have
something to own up to, and I don't like saying sorry.
So don't make me apologize. Don't fuck me over.
So I have to say sorry later. I don't want to, and I probably
won't mean it because I don't feel like I should have to say
sorry. Yeah.
And also like for Chris Higgins, it feels like now the work
really begins because now like you've noticed your trauma was
real, that you weren't quote, UN quote, but now you have to
actually work through your mental health issues that have
arised from this knowledge. To be honest, that's why
conservatives are not really trying to be woke.
Because if I. You have to do more stuff and
help. And the problem?
I have to do more, and if I do more, that means I probably lose
more. AKA money, time, identity
crisis, crisis. It happens.
Like there's just so much responsibility a person has to
take in order to make steps to doing the right thing.
So what a burden. Yeah, but I do feel like if
anything, the film like does teach you like even if by the
end you're battered and a little weathered and quote UN quote
cuckoo, Yeah, facing your trauma head on does at least get you
somewhere. It gets you further than you
were when you started it. For sure that.
And that's so funny because like, there was no scene in 3D
for that to happen. So it's a conclusion you have to
you have to come to terms with in your own life.
Yeah. Out of the theater.
But yeah, I feel like if this was made today, we would
probably get a little more of a sensitive ending.
But you know, this is the 80s, this is where we were at.
We basically get an 80s slasher ending where she's carted away
laugh screaming. Because they also are like, you
know, another one's coming. Yeah.
That's true, But we did see her fight really hard.
We saw her believe in herself and we saw her not give up so.
And all in 3D, so. Yes, all in 3D, closure in 3D,
yeah. I really wanted to harp on the
fact that it was in 3D because they used it so much.
I felt that it would be a disservice to the makers of the
film, not to mention how much the 3D was used.
Oh yeah, we didn't even mention every incident of it because
it's impossible to. Rundown really quick.
OK, hold on. Just kidding.
No, it won't be here for fucking ever.
Literally actually though. Seventeen 3D shots of wooden
tool handles. Popcorn.
Yeah. Popcorn, Chris.
Eyeballs yo yos. Oh my God.
Speaking of the yo-yo, OK, the fucking yo-yo scene.
So Debbie is laying on the grass and fucking Andy is playing with
the yo-yo, like dropping it down right in front of her face like
he's and we get the little 3D moment but he's straight up.
Whacks her in the face with it. She gets decked right in the
nose and the actress laughs and she's like and Debbie's like,
that was close you better watch out with that thing.
And I'm like, I wonder if that was an actress just improvising
because, Mama, we saw it. You got smacked.
We. Got here for real?
Yeah, you got hit for real. I'd be so mad if I was her.
Like cool, I actually broke my nose and.
I feel like she may have gotten a Welt from it.
Yeah, for sure, for sure. And they make you sign waivers
and show and be like, we're not liable for what happens in this
movie, Rust. Oh my God, Fucking Alec Baldwin.
Another one. Another Caitlyn Jenner in our
midst. And like has a reality show
where they like kind of address it.
Well, they do address it with his like lying, scamming wife
Hilaria, who is hilarious. You're trying to pass off that
fucking accent. My God.
Cucumber Cucumber the. Baldwins are all trash.
Long Island trash excrement. Yeah, he killed someone.
I feel like he kind of deserved to get a little more heat.
I'm sorry. I know that was it was an
accident, right? It was an accident.
It was an accident, right? But he was a producer he
deserved. To get punished and there should
have. Cut the checks, Hanny.
So many steps leading up to that.
So many people didn't do their jobs right for that live round
to be in that gun at that moment.
He should have never been pointing it directly at her
anyway, even if it was blank you dumb fuck.
You're not that good of an actor and the movie is never going to
come out. No, it is not.
You ruined. It it's just like that Allman
Brothers movie where like someone got hit by a train.
Fuck you guys. All for those fucking bitches
who wrote Ramblin Man, we don't care.
You don't care. You know the best part about The
Allman Brothers? That one of them fucked Cher.
Oh, that's true. That's true.
That's true.
Greg Allman, one of them. Does it matter?
We don't. We just no Cher.
No, yeah, because remember, their their son is in that band
Dead Sea, and no one cares. Not at all do.
You remember that song? I've got that key to grab off
the park. Terrible.
So bad. But yeah, I mean, this movie was
just stupid and silly, nonsensical with, you know, it's
queer horror, high message. I'm always going to find one,
always going to find something we're always going to find in a
nugget. We smoke way too much weed, find
too much symbolism and the dumbest of shit.
But also this is just like a fun watch.
Friday 13th isn't one of my favorite franchises just because
like I like the Halloween franchise better because it's
just from the joke psych ward, like the whole like mama's
backwoods mama's boy trope for Friday 13th, like his back story
just didn't like resonate strong enough for me.
But I do like that they're stupid.
They're the can't be is I think Part 3 helped so much with like
the look that we got. Now we know his iconic look
because like that first, the first one, he wasn't, he wasn't
given nothing. And I'm telling you, he was.
He's given season 1, season 2, greasy camera drag, like you're
giving mall drag your first season, you know what I'm
saying? And so Part 3 is when he really
got the coin and saw what the girls on TikTok were doing and
came back and was like, oh, I've got to look.
And it's coming from this *** that I'm going to kill.
And so, yeah, I do like Part 3 because it's it's kooky.
It's got 3D elements. It's kind of just using all of
the things that other movies later on, especially slashers,
would take from and adopt and like, reinvent in their own way.
And it's like the OG third entry to mark the turning point from
like straight horror to horror with a little comedy.
Because yeah, like, kind of like A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3
is where that franchise also. Changed.
That's kids getting kooky. Going to prime time bitch, Yeah.
Yeah. Or whatever he says.
That's when people are realizing, like, you can have a
sense of humor and horror. Like if you're a horror fan, you
know, and you're trying to get your friend who is not into
horror to like, understand it's not just blood and guts and and
ghosts and jumping out. Some of the funniest movies I've
seen are technically horror movies.
Humor often just adds levity. It offsets the horror.
It just adds. More layers.
More layers to it because life is complicated.
There's often moments of extreme comedy in moments of terror and
seriousness just because you needed to break up the tension.
It's absurd. To laugh.
I've been through some weird shit where I've been around to
other people and been like, OK you guys, well that's just how
you got to crack some jokes. Remember?
Like, we're still human. It's OK to be scared.
But also like, these might be our last laughs.
Let's have some good feeling or whatever the fuck.
Can someone just fart and they do that in this movie?
Do or a titty pops out because like, laughter or a boner will
always get you a little distracted enough not to be
scared and that's what you need. But yeah, no, you're totally
right about like the camp kooky factor in the third one.
And I just love the Chuck and chili of it all.
It's nice to see Stoner characters who aren't total
losers. Yeah, like burnouts.
I mean, they're kind of stereotypical, but they're not
portrayed as disposable because at one point Andy and Shelley
are like juggling fruit. They're having their man off,
and Chuck and Chili are just shown both sitting up on the
couch, passed out with their like, heads back and their
mouths open. Like it's really funny.
So they are sort of portrayed as dumb stoners, but like, they're
likable. We're actually sad when Chili
dies. I was.
Yeah, I definitely was. Both of them I was bummed to see
because like I love seeing chill stoners like in Cabin in the
Woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like that kind of Stoner where they're just like.
He's a smart Stoner. Yeah, he was a little annoying,
but he's had smarts about him. Yeah, so you're right.
I did very much like the likable stoners.
They didn't make them like shitty hedonists who didn't care
about other people. And we're just doing everything
for the for the hash, you know, like.
And the weed propaganda, especially heavy Reagan Arab
bullshit where it's like the war on drugs, pot is going to kill
you because it's going to make you smoke crack.
Next, but with Chuck and Chili, they had a little texture to
them. They were funny, they were cute.
They had their little moment talking about sex in the kitchen
together. Like we saw them kiss like they
were affectionate couple. Like yeah, they have Cheech and
Chong vibes, especially Chuck looks like Tommy Chong.
But like they're not Stoner Bros who I feel like it's who we got
before this and for the most part throughout the 80s.
Yeah. And just chilly going Oh my God,
Oh my God, with no urgency. She was like sliding her feet.
I know she was like I am terrified but this weed in.
Like, I feel like if a killer came, like, in my house right
now, I'd be like, fuck, yeah, now what?
Can you come back in like 20 minutes?
Like, I'm going to drink this coffee.
And then we could like, yeah, don't you want to work for it?
Oh God, and just like her death face is just stuck on my head.
Yeah. Oh good.
RIP Julie. RIP.
We already went over it. But yeah, again, like I'm just
happy to see Rick go home with a Big L.
And by go home I mean die and get his eye squeezed out.
Yeah, on the glory. When he first got there and he
like, he actually put his hand on Chris's throat and pretended
to choke her. That's how he scared her and he
like, got pushed off. She was like, no.
And he was like, is it my imagination or did it just get
cold in here? I'm like, the blue ball
storyline with him started right away.
And it's like, dude, you grabbed her by the throat.
Why would you do that? He tries to break down her
defenses too, because he's so pushy.
And she's like, I don't know, like I'm not really here for sex
in general, so I don't know, like when I'll be ready.
And he's like, there's only so many cold showers I can take.
So then like he gives her a piggyback ride and he says she's
gained weight. He is trying to mentally break
her down so her self esteem is lower so she'll fuck him.
It's like fuck boy 101. Yeah, yeah.
I wish Jason would have grabbed his nuts and his balls exploding
is what we saw. That was definitely too much for
1982 that. 'D be way too symbolic.
Like, way too metaphorical. Two on the nose, 2 on the tip.
Yeah, too good. Of the Friday the 14th, which
one is your favorite? And then where do you rank this
one amongst all of them? I did that little ranking on our
Instagram and to me, I rank the first 3 in that order, 123.
But now that I did that, I might be 132.
I like the first one just because it establishes
everything. I love having Misses Voorhees in
it. She's just so good at the end.
And like people say, the first one is super slow, but to me
it's super atmospheric. There's the most tension.
I feel like the scenes are drawn out, but in my opinion and not
an annoying or boring way. In a way that like, you know
it's coming, you know it's coming, but it's playing with
shadows. It's not doing jump scares.
And like, all that tension that builds up to each death, I just
find so satisfying. And I don't know, obviously
nostalgia attached to it, but I would say the second one would
have been second. But after seeing this one again
for, you know, this episode, I feel like the third one might be
my second favorite because it's definitely a little goofier, a
little less, I don't know, brooding and forward with
horror. But because of the, like, trauma
layers to it. And just like Chris Higgins
being a more fleshed out final girl, I don't know, I feel like
this one has a lot more to say than other ones.
Even if it's not the deepest film like, it at least attempts
some sort of social commentary. Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like it's second for me, at least right now.
OK. Yeah, the first three are the
best three. They just are.
For me, do you have a favorite final like girl?
It's probably Chris. If it's not Chris, it would be
Jenny from Part 2 because they both fight really hard and the
acting is believable. Like the terror is real.
But I think I like Chris maybe the most because Chris is like I
need to handle my trauma while I'm here.
Sex is not on the table and she stuck to that.
She did not waiver for this man. She put herself 1st and we did
not see a lot of female characters putting themselves
first at this time. Yeah, that's a great assessment.
I haven't seen the 4th one in so long but I remember liking that
one. And Crispin Glover is cute in
that one. He's the dead fuck.
And there's a lot of machete situations going on.
There's the twins. Yeah.
There's, Oh my God, there's the fucking girl.
I do not remember her name, but she like pops her head out of
the water at one point and talks to one of the other girls,
Sarah. She's like, come on Sarah, show
us what you got because they're all like, they're going skinny
dipping. Like come on Sarah, strip and
dip. It's super campy.
Because I remember like I used to just like put shutter on in
the background and just do bullshit.
And also, I think, you know, we're horror fans, so we're like
on our purest shit. It's like we have to go through
every franchise, whether you like it or not, just to say that
you've seen it, you know? And these movies are just easy
to watch, even when they're bad. It's just like junk food.
And yeah, because it's quick, it's a quick bite.
It's like an hour, hour 30 cap like.
Max. Because they just know that you
don't need more than that. And we're going to get right to
it and you're going to have fun the whole time.
It's going to be stupid and like have something to laugh at.
And that's why it's fun to get stoned to these because it's
like you get stoned and you notice some super deep shit or
you just are like fucking laughing your ass off of the
whole time because you're like, like this snake.
I swear I told you I saw the fishing line and they're like
the snake at it. So I was like, like, what the
fuck is this? And then I got a super.
I was like so high already. And so I was like super attached
to the Bunny and like how he was like holding the Bunny.
Yeah, holding the Bunny around the store.
And I'm like, I would totally own a grocery store and like,
hold the Bunny around it and like Jill, like, that's so cute.
That was gross though, how he drank the orange juice or
whatever on the shelf and put it back.
He was sampling all that damn food.
So I'm like, so when a customer buys stuff, are they going to be
like? Yeah.
Can we prorate this? Everything in this store because
he has a snacking problem. He thinks this is your like,
personal pantry and not a store. Yeah, which is so funny.
This is how my old friend used to treat my fucking house.
I've had I've had friends like that.
I hate it. I'm like bitch is this not Acvs?
Stop coming over here and re enough on shit.
I like also doesn't orange juice or any juice once it's open it
needs to be put in the fridge. You got a limited amount of time
regardless of if you refrigerate it or not because it's like.
You're going to be poisoned, bitches.
It's still like fucking fruit juice.
Like I've been juicing so I would know about the shit.
Fruit juice is usually make the bowel start moving anyway, so if
you put them out on the shelf after they're supposed to be in
the fridge, you're giving everyone die die at this lake.
Yeah, E coli and shit. They're going to come after you.
Dizentary they're. Going to come after you.
Like me when I ate squid out of a cooler in Indonesia at a
hostel. You asked for that.
I did. I did ask for that.
You literally were like, I need to lose a couple pounds.
So oh, I did. What's the quickest way to get
diarrhea? Oh squid, I love calamari.
As soon as I saw that squid get pulled out of a Styrofoam cooler
I should have been like Nah. Was it like raw or was it
cooked? It was raw when they took it out
and then they did cook it, but I think it was just too hot.
There wasn't enough ice in that cooler.
It's spoiled. It's like how long was in the
cooler. Yeah, for the next 30 hours my
life was pretty shitty. How did Oh God I have so many
questions. It's not for the show.
I was in Indonesia though, so it was beautiful.
Yeah, you're like, I was having a blast on the toilet.
I was a blast for you. Oh God.
But yeah, this is a fun one, and I'm so happy that it's on your
birthday and you get a birthday episode that and because, like,
you and Jason share the same birthday because, like, Friday
the 13th is his birthday. Yeah.
So that's tie. Do you have a tattoo?
I actually don't have a Friday the 13th tattoo but I do have a
tattoo of a 13 on the gravestone that's in my Night of the Living
Dead tattoo. But I got the 13 tattooed first
at a Friday the 13th. Like yes they do the $13 but
like my friend was a tattoo artist so it was free but I
tipped the bitch at 20 or whatever it was a long time ago.
Maybe I'll go do one of those this year, but that's fucking
tight. Yeah, I'm glad this is a good
birthday to have. And like a good little little
full circle situation. I'm so excited and you know, it
just works because Chris Higgins is the final girl on this one.
Friday 13th, Part 3. You know there's a three in it.
The numerologists are all going crazy right now.
Yeah. This is making so much sense.
Let me see the palm of your hand.
It's also our 66th episode, like we're probably never going to
get to 666, so this is fun. That's great, that makes my
heart smile. 6 is my favorite number besides 25, so okay.
And 42. I was gonna say something else
but I'm so stoned. I am so high too.
I just smoked my blunt. Yeah.
You do it to the Domington. It's crazy because for how much
you've grown as a Stoner since I've like known you is it's like
watching a a child grow or it's like growing with your growing
up with a sibling. You know what I'm saying?
Like, yeah. That was 1.5g.
That was crazy dog because when I when we like first started
smoking weed like. I could not do that.
Yeah, or like you were like, I'm good off this and I'd be like
all right, chill. Like me too.
Actually, I'm too. I'm way too high.
But like now it's just like, you will face a blunt by yourself,
you'll face a joint by yourself. And that's beautiful.
And that and that people is real growth.
But yeah, I'm so glad that we got to do this.
And I'm just even more glad that I get to call you friend and
that you are at this point like family to me.
Like, oh, God, I wish. Like, you are like the uncle
I've never had. At least the one that won't tell
me. You know, I know I have a gay
uncle. He just is dying to come out.
It's OK, You can tell me. I think you talked about him on
the show before. Because I definitely have a gay
nephew who has been like shamed or not nephew, cousin has been
shamed into like not coming out. I'm like, give me his number.
And I want to tell him it's so OK to be gay and also listen to
my podcast. But yeah, no, you are like like
high key family at this point. I'm just like super stoked I get
to celebrate you. And I hope that you just have
like a wing Dang doodle tonight for your birthday, wink wink.
Yeah, I'm having a Club, Crystal Lake party.
I don't know how hard we're going to be going at this club,
but I'm a try. We don't try to kill it.
Um, don't hurt yourself. I probably will.
Those are also puns because it's like crystal light.
Kill it. Yeah.
Oh, get it. Yeah, I got it.
I'm very high. Yeah, that's.
Fine, that's fine. Me too.
They're not landing. Happy birthday to.
Me. Yeah, exactly.
And we love you. And also thank you for listening
guys. Yes, I would smoke an indica for
this because this movie silly again, it marks the comedic
turning point of this franchise. And you know, there's a little
depth about trauma, but not so much that an indica would make
you totally miss it. Yeah.
Mm hmm. You'll get it.
You know, I would just eat an edible.
Yeah, that sounds good. Just get really high.
I would need an Ebel for sure because like by the time the
edible hits and then you start watching this you're just like
oh fuck. This is because especially when
you keep in mind it's supposed to be 3D.
That's true. My God, the amount of. 3D that's
why it's funny like. Drink every time you think that
something was in 3D in the theater and you will be fucked
up in the 1st 15 minutes. Yeah, it's so funny.
But yeah, yeah, that's the show, right?
Yeah, so stay scared, stay high. Have a very happy Friday the
13th. And have a very happy birthday
Chris. And if y'all don't spam him, I
will sign each and every one of our followers up for
Scientology. Oh my God.
So tell him happy birthday, OK, I will find you.
Thank you people. Being threatened in my honor is
a privilege. It's a great gift.
You're welcome and a gift. It's a gift, pleasure and honor
and something that I will gladly do any day of the week, anytime,
any. Thank you.
That kind of sounded like Cher. Thank you.
Happy birthday, stupid. I don't even know what's
happening anymore. Me either.
Let's get out of here. Bye, bye.
Hi, this is Chris. I would just like to say how
disappointed I am that at no point in this episode did I make
the pun that today is pride A the 13th.
It is pride. It is Friday the 13th.
It is my birthday and I met. I missed the opportunity.
Drats, thanks for listening to your horror.
Hi. Damn, that shit's good.