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Ollie, let's address this 
straight away. 

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When people hear mindset coach, 
they think it's probably a bit 

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wanky. 
Why are they not wrong? 

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That's a good one and I love 
that we're starting this strong 

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like this. 
I think my belief was like that 

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at the start, before I had any 
form of adversity in myself, 

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like injuries, you know, 
breakdown in relationships or 

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like always getting a certain 
stage in life and always kind of

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self sabotaging myself. 
And a lot of people who are 

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never experienced working with a
mindset coach will probably say 

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things like, you know, they just
kind of throw motivational words

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at you or mindset fluff for you.
But I always tell people like 

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the background I work in is 
conscious and subconscious mind.

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And how that works is let's just
say your mind is, yeah, 

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conscious and subconscious. 10% 
of your mind every day we only 

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use as temp is conscious and 90%
is subconscious. 

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But we only the only every day, 
we only use 10% of our mind. 

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So let's just say, for instance,
now I'm trying to think of a 

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scenario. 
Let's just say, for instance, 

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right now, a lot of people go 
new year, new me, I'm going to 

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start something new. 
I'm going to cut booze in, I'm 

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going to go to the gym more. 
I'm going to lose weight. 

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And after like a week or two of 
feeling good and then like 

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motivated and energy's up, all 
of a sudden they like stop doing

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that really good habit and they 
fall back to old habits. 

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And what happens then is a 
negative thought comes up, 

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negative experience, past 
stories and events. 

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Now what actually happens in the
subconscious is when we get to 

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that crossroad and we, we can't 
break that barrier of like 

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actually understanding why we 
can't sustain this change just 

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because when we get to that area
and we, we, we fall off the 

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wagon. 
Past experiences have happened 

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to us. 
The emotions that say, you know,

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I'm never going to break free 
from losing this weight. 

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Maybe when I was younger you was
a big boy or maybe your parents 

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always fed you or maybe someone 
called you fat or someone 

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knocked the confidence out you. 
And what actually happens is a 

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belief system that like I'm not 
good enough or a belief system 

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that I'm stuck in this. 
So even though we train really 

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hard or what not, we always get 
to that area and a lot of people

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fall off the bandwagon and start
again. 

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They try even harder and then 
they fall off the bandwagon 

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again. 
And all that does is knocks 

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yourself esteem and confidence 
until you shift the beliefs in 

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your subconscious. 
That's when we start to build 

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sustainable habits. 
That's when your belief systems 

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and who you are are different. 
You don't let past emotions and 

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stories hold you back from 
taking new levels. 

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Whether it's in a relationship, 
whether it's in a job, whether 

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it's in a pay increase, or maybe
it's in your body or in how you 

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see yourself. 
But that's all in the 

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subconscious. 
So the biggest thing that I do, 

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which is mindset fluff to people
is working on the subconscious. 

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Because when someone tells me 
what's going on in the surface 

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or you don't understand, like 
I'm so busy with life now I am 

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got time to meal prep, I'm 
listening what's going on 

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underneath the surface. 
I'm telling me, what's that 

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fear? 
Well, if I actually set myself 

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up to have sustainability in my 
life and it doesn't work out, 

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then I'm putting myself out 
there to fail. 

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So what I'll do instead is 
actually stop myself from doing 

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that. 
So unconsciously I never put 

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myself in the shop window to 
actually succeed because I I 

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might not do that when I'm 
saying people self sabotage 

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themselves. 
Yeah, I hope that helps. 

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Yeah, no, it helps it. 
It must be tough because if it 

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is in the subconscious, you're 
not conscious about it. 

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You don't even know it's there, 
right? 

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Yeah, you're not not aware about
it until you work with someone 

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who makes you aware of these 
patterns. 

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Why do people go into 
relationships all the time? 

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And nine times out of 10, if 
they've been through a handful 

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of relationships, why does the 
same common issue happen in all 

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of them and they normally point 
the other person? 

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Just remember, when you point 
the finger to another person, 

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there's three fingers pointing 
back and you're recognising that

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you are the root of a problem. 
So you need to recognise your 

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own behaviours, your own 
patterns and your belief 

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systems. 
When you start to do that and 

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you recognise and start to 
unwind these patterns and the 

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emotions and the words you say 
to yourself, that's when you 

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have more confidence. 
That's when you actually 

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recognise that we're A-Team 
here. 

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This is how I can communicate to
this person before you know it. 

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Like that's how you build a team
instead of two individuals. 

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Yeah, I mean, for me, 
definitely. 

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I think, I mean, I'm a, I'm a 
guilty as anyone when it comes 

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to new year, new me and stuff 
like that. 

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I'm always trying and it usually
I think that motivation fades 

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after Week 2. 
It does. 

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And then like you haven't got 
that urgency to stick to what 

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you're doing. 
What is, can you rely on 

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motivation or is that fleeting? 
Like what, how and how do you 

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combat that then? 
So motivation is not the key. 

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And I think anyone who's ever 
done a sport or a or a goal or 

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achievement, which is longevity,
like I know you've done some 

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high, long, long durance 
trainings. 

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You have to have a goal and 
you've probably got the right 

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people around you to keep you 
accountable on the way. 

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For a lot of people, when they 
want to make changes, when 

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they're in pain, financial pain,
physical pain, relationship 

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pain, they know they need to 
make, Maybe their partner's 

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giving them all to main you 
either sort your shit out and 

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I'm leaving you, or maybe that 
they their bank balance is 

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really low and they've got bills
up their eyeballs and like shit,

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I better work harder now because
people only use the urgency of 

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paying to get where they are. 
But let's just say right now, 

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you were 20 kilos overweight, 
but after 10 kilos you started 

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looking good. 
You maybe had a little bit of 

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ABS coming on definition in the 
arms. 

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People are complimenting you. 
Well, that pain of being big is 

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gone now. 
That motivation's gone too. 

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But what keeps you going is 
actually the discipline actually

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having structure in your day, 
setting yourself up and removing

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the friction out of areas. 
So like the the growth is still 

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there even without the 
motivation because people only 

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change when they're in in an 
emotional feeling of negativity 

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in themselves. 
Yeah, no, absolutely. 

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I, I always say that that's one 
that's one of my catch phrases 

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is suffering is one of the best 
catalysts for change. 

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I did it myself years ago when I
was in a bit of a pickle 

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mentally, physically. 
It was the suffering that kicked

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me up the ass to do something 
about it. 

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And if we Fast forward to now, I
love a vape. 

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I love a vape. 
I don't know if you love a vape 

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or whatever. 
And I'm struggling to kick it at

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the moment and I know I should, 
but there's not enough pain 

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there because one vape won't 
hurt you. 

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It tastes nice. 
It's quite discreet. 

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It's it's hard, harder to give 
up because I'm not experiencing 

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any pain because of it. 
It's only later down the line 

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that you're going to see that. 
How do I stop vaping? 

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Like what as a mindset coach, 
if, if I'm saying there's no 

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pain, it's so easy. 
What would you prescribe to 

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someone like me? 
The hardest thing is you've got 

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to get someone in the place that
they want to change. 

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Like if someone said to me at 
all, I want to quit smoking, I 

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would like to quit smoking. 
It'd be like, OK, do you 

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actually want to quit smoking? 
Or the thought of quitting 

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smoking's there? 
Because if it's no urgency to 

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quit, you're never going to do 
it. 

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You've got to be like, I'm again
in an area of like your backs 

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against the wall. 
Like if I said to you right now,

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you can't pay your bills at the 
moment. 

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Your wife is leaving you because
she wakes up every morning and 

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there you are vaping in bed. 
And she said to you, like, you 

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either sort your shit out or I'm
out of here. 

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Well, the pain of the pain of 
changing, yeah, let's get this 

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right. 
The pain of changing outweighs 

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the pain of the the vape. 
So like you potentially losing 

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your wife and everything else, 
it's far great that you like, 

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you know, for the bigger 
picture, that's better for me. 

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But if it's like, you know what,
I can still train every day. 

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I can still work. 
It's not impacting anyone. 

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It's just a little bit of a 
vape. 

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It's OK because you're not in 
discomfort, but it's got to be 

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something else underneath it 
that recognises that. 

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Like it's so it's hard to just 
say off the top of my head or I 

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want to quit vaping. 
It's like, do you want to or you

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like the idea of vaping? 
I'd like the idea to quit. 

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Like what? 
What happens when you vape? 

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Yeah. 
So why would you want, why would

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you want to quit someone that 
makes you feel less? 

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What's the what's the negative? 
What's the negative things you 

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get from vaping? 
Cost. 

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Cost. 
OK, Costly. 

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Who else does it impact? 
Minimal people. 

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I think that's, that's because 
if it would be easier if it was 

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smoking because you do it, but 
you stink, you have to go 

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outside all the time. 
Again, there's a cost with that.

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But vaping, they've made it so 
much easier. 

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And that's that's the issue with
that. 

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I find vaping and stuff like 
that. 

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Do you, would you, would you say
like you maybe you have to 

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manufacture these pains If there
are no pains, really think down 

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the line and make that sort of 
vision so strong that it 

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motivates you to quit, stuff 
like that. 

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Well, I, I think like if you 
have a look at like the great, 

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great people of the world, let's
say Cristiano Ronaldo, Michael 

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Jordan, like they didn't stop 
after one championship or 

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Premiership. 
They have a different mentality 

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that spews them on the go. 
I'm regardless of that win tick 

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precedes starts the next day or 
the days after. 

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It's the it's what you the 
outcome. 

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You've got to have clarity on 
the outcome, what you really 

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want. 
When you're clear on what you 

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want, I think the journey's a 
lot easier. 

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But if you literally like just 
thinking in front of your nose 

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and like surviving every day or 
grinding every day or getting by

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every day is OK for you. 
But like if we went back to the 

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vape, do you like, let's say 
every time that you wanted a 

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vape, you had to charge that up 
for two hours and you had to 

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walk 3 miles or 4 miles to have 
that vape every time. 

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What do you want? 
The vape still can't be asked. 

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So the the oh, sorry, the 
friction in between you wanting 

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the vape and not you wanting the
vape is far greater now the 

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friction right now there's no 
friction between you another. 

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You can literally just pull out 
your pocket bang and keep 

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talking this conversation. 
So they what they've done in the

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marketing front is they've 
reduced the friction so much 

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from people that it's so easy to
access. 

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It's brilliant, Yeah. 
What they've done, Yeah, it's 

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amazing. 
Like, yeah. 

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Look at people now doing like, 
you know, Manjaro or the other 

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00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:06,480
one, like the weight loss thing.
You don't have to go to the gym 

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anymore to lose weight. 
You don't have to eat better, 

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but you can have this injection 
which is going to help you lose 

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weight, removes the friction, 
removes the friction of the 

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thing. 
It's easier. 

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It's a short term fix. 
Now we don't know the benefit 

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the we don't know the long term 
pains from that yet, but they'll

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come out at some stage. 
But yeah, I think the the the 

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friction is reduced. 
If we make it harder for you to 

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have that vape, you'll probably 
weigh it up and go, I can't be 

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asked, you know what I mean? 
Yeah. 

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And I suppose on the flip, the 
other side of the flip of the 

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coin, if you want to do 
integrate good habits, you 

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reduce the friction because then
it's easier to do, right? 

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Yes, Yeah. 
Well, yeah, let's ask. 

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Can I ask a question, what's 
something that you did which 

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wasn't an overnight win, which 
you had to like show up every 

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day for a most days fall and 
then it was a positive outcome? 

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It's going to be my world record
for the world's largest GPS 

224
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,960
drawing of a cock and balls on 
foot in a single continuous 

225
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,280
effort. 
Definitely. 

226
00:10:59,080 --> 00:10:59,560
Are you serious? 
I. 

227
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:00,880
Didn't know that. 
I didn't know that. 

228
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,280
I'm so sorry. 
It's a fair man. 

229
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:06,680
Wow, 72 miles of a manhood 
masterpiece on the wall. 

230
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,560
Wow. 
What was the why behind it? 

231
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:12,280
What made you want to do that? 
It was first and foremost 

232
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,360
charity. 
South who was the charity for 

233
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,440
Was it November? 
Somebody connected to. 

234
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:17,960
You. 
Yeah. 

235
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,760
So as I said, I was a bit of a 
pickle before, and that was 

236
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:28,640
through binge drinking, drink, 
drugs, living sort of the party 

237
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:29,960
lifestyle. 
It got me into a bit of a 

238
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,560
pickle. 
I needed something to kick me up

239
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,960
the ass and challenges were a 
way of doing that for me. 

240
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,640
It was setting a big goal that 
like I had to do it. 

241
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,400
If I didn't train, then I'd fail
and in front of everyone because

242
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,800
you'd make it public. 
It was also sought my life out 

243
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,760
again. 
It was that suffering. 

244
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:48,480
It was the catalyst for change. 
Fast forward now to when I did 

245
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,400
the challenge. 
It was about sort of giving back

246
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,760
and being that voice, that 
message for people and saying, 

247
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,880
look, you need to challenge. 
That was the whole message 

248
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,400
behind. 
It was like you, you need a goal

249
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,320
bigger than yourself. 
Like if you're stuck in these 

250
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,720
places and you're finding it 
hard to get out of, you need 

251
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:08,480
something so big that it's going
to almost force you to, to do 

252
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,040
these things. 
And that's, so that's why I did 

253
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,600
the the world's biggest GPS 
drawing of a cock and balls. 

254
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,520
So obviously, you know, there's 
selfish reasons as well. 

255
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,240
I needed the challenge again. 
I was falling off a bit with my 

256
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,360
weight and my fitness, so I 
needed something big. 

257
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,640
But also, yeah, just to inspire 
people, yeah. 

258
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,400
Love that. 
So you really figured out why 

259
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,720
this was so important to you. 
And let me guess, did you? 

260
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,920
You obviously put it out there 
to promote it, to raise money 

261
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,360
for charity, right? 
So you put yourself in the shop 

262
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,880
window and if you failed and 
didn't follow through on doing 

263
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,440
it or even attempted it, what 
would that, what would that 

264
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,520
make? 
How would that make you feel? 

265
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,480
Yeah, I'd look, I'd look like a 
fool. 

266
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,720
So you put some, you put some, 
you invested and you put some 

267
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,520
money where your mouth is 
essentially on this. 

268
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,240
And if you failed, it's not just
you. 

269
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,040
You let down. 
You let down people who invested

270
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,320
in you charity, you put 
people's, you know, you really 

271
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,520
put yourself in the shop window.
And that's where people really 

272
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,600
succeed. 
Like I one thing I love to do 

273
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,640
and not everyone does is like, 
if I'm going to do something, 

274
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,760
I'm going to tell a few people 
beforehand before I do it. 

275
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,360
Just to let you know, I'm going 
to be doing XY and Z soon. 

276
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,400
Oh yeah. 
Well, when are you doing it? 

277
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,200
I'm doing now. 
I'm starting now, but it's going

278
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,120
to be XY and Z. 
Why do I do that? 

279
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,120
I do it because if I put it out 
there, I've got to stick to my 

280
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,520
word now. 
And you know how much of A 

281
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,320
wanker I look like if I don't 
follow through on my own word, 

282
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,400
you look like a prick. 
And the biggest one is yourself.

283
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:35,000
But I think that's the that's 
the the need of it. 

284
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,160
You know, how many people do you
know, man, that have amazing 

285
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:42,120
ideas, Amazing ideas, but they 
don't put them out there? 

286
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,920
Kim himself. 
Yeah. 

287
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,520
Why do they not put them out 
there? 

288
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,840
Fear. 
Fear and the fear is if I put it

289
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:56,800
out there and it gets rejected 
or people criticize it or people

290
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,560
don't actually compliment me on 
it, well that actually shows 

291
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,640
that I'm not actually good at 
I'm not actually good at it. 

292
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,880
So what I'll do instead is I'll 
put all of my amazing Mantel 

293
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,320
pieces inside here. 
You can't see them. 

294
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,160
And I'll tell everyone how good 
it is and I'll tell you XY and 

295
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,760
Z, but I'll never put it out 
there because the fear of 

296
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,120
rejection is so hard. 
So they played safe in this area

297
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:20,400
and the the massive fact and the
root behind most things in life 

298
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,600
is fear do. 
You know what I like about that 

299
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:27,320
is you've manufactured pain, 
you've set it up, you've raised 

300
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:32,440
the stakes to to sort of forge a
pain if you don't follow through

301
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,240
that, thus creating an 
accountability, right, Yes. 

302
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,240
I like it. 
Well, that's what it's all 

303
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,920
about, man. 
It's like you got to create your

304
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,000
own pain. 
And you know, sometimes, like 

305
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,760
people might think this is 
crazy, right? 

306
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,720
But that if I'll even create 
stories sometimes. 

307
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,120
Like what? 
You don't think I'm good enough?

308
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,280
Like what? 
Like you think I'm not a good 

309
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,320
mindset coach, or you don't 
think that I'm capable of doing 

310
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,760
XY and Z, or you don't think 
that I can work with this type 

311
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,160
of fucking. 
Watch me. 

312
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,720
Watch me do this. 
I'm going to prove to you, but 

313
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,720
prove to myself. 
And I create this on my head 

314
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,080
because sometimes we've got to 
build this level of urgency in 

315
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,240
ourself, level of motivation, 
level of determination, because 

316
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,960
some days you're not going to 
have it, but some days you've 

317
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,560
got to find the the needle that 
moves you again. 

318
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,440
And sometimes just building that
up in yourself. 

319
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:19,240
And people might think this 
crazy, but you know, it's part 

320
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,720
of it. 
It's part of growing, it's part 

321
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,320
of achieving, it's part of doing
things. 

322
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,760
That fuel, that fuel. 
You doing this man? 

323
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,160
How many times did you want to 
quit on that? 

324
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,760
Every week, after every session,
like it's, it's about revisiting

325
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:38,960
the sort of why am I doing this 
and I have to do it and yeah, 

326
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,160
nothing, nothing worthwhile ever
came easy. 

327
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,880
You know, it's hard for a 
reason. 

328
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,680
What's the biggest load of 
nonsense you see in the mindset 

329
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:51,120
space at the moment? 
Good question. 

330
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,880
Jesus, I love that. 
Yeah, I was going to say, 

331
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:53,960
there's a lot of rubbish out 
there. 

332
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,480
There's people telling you do XY
and Z and you'll become there, 

333
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:05,240
so do that, OK, I believe. 
I believe mental health is a lot

334
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:09,760
of nonsense. 
OK, I almost agree. 

335
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,080
Let's see why. 
My, my belief is right with 

336
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:17,440
mental health is if I sat here 
and I vented to you my problems 

337
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,640
and thank you mate feel a lot 
better and then I get up and I 

338
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,280
just walk away right and I do 
nothing about it and I just get 

339
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,040
on my life. 
Then in a week's time I come 

340
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,560
back here and I'm in the same 
position I was last week and I 

341
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:34,760
do the same thing again to you. 
Like I'm literally like creating

342
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:39,000
problems on myself if I don't 
have like OK, XY and Z has 

343
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,760
happened to me and there's an 
action that I can do, but I'm 

344
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,880
not taking that action. 
Well, you're at fault now. 

345
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,480
But if you take the action and 
the outcome is a positive 

346
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,200
outcome, which you will if you 
took the action, then that's 

347
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,080
that's where you that's what you
need to do. 

348
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:57,600
But if you're avoiding that, we 
no wonder you're going to be in 

349
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,280
negative feeling. 
No wonder you're going to be 

350
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,640
feeling anxious. 
No wonder you're going to be 

351
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,480
feeling depressed. 
Now, I'm not saying that mental 

352
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,960
health is a lot of rubbish 
because there's people out there

353
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,079
suffering, but I do feel like 
that if you or you're just 

354
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,880
venting and this is the thing 
people talk about. 

355
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,920
I was like, you know, speak up, 
speak to your mate, blah, blah, 

356
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,560
blah, OK, but ones, if your mate
is not equipped to hear your 

357
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,240
problems and he goes, oh man, 
I've I've never experienced 

358
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,760
depression before. 
I don't even know what anxiety 

359
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:19,599
is. 
This is weird. 

360
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,760
How does that make you feel? 
If you said that to me and I 

361
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,119
said that back to you, you feel 
worse, you feel more lost. 

362
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,400
So like, I think it's like, OK, 
seek professional help if you 

363
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,560
want to. 
But I, I'm just not a big 

364
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,560
believer. 
The way I work with, the way I 

365
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,440
work with my clients and the way
I've been taught and the way my 

366
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:42,360
people work with me is OK, 
problem, solution, action. 

367
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,720
We don't just stay at problem. 
If we stay at problem where 

368
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,480
intention goes, our energy will 
flow to, to just grow 

369
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,160
negativity. 
If we put a solution on it and 

370
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,320
we're like, all right, OK, let's
build an action plan to that, 

371
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,800
That's when we get an outcome. 
So even though I said mental 

372
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,480
have a sort of rubbish, my 
belief is if we're just venting 

373
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,360
about it all the time, we're not
doing nothing which we know we 

374
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,800
can be doing. 
That's why it's a load of 

375
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,640
rubbish. 
And there's levels to it, right,

376
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,280
Because like there's there's 
levels like we're not talking 

377
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,000
mental disorders now, I mean, 
that's professional stuff. 

378
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000
Seek help. 
And obviously there's there's 

379
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,920
levels where you could be so far
on the whole, yes, bloody go. 

380
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,040
You know, if you're thinking 
about doing some of the worst 

381
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,000
things, please bloody get help. 
But the people who just sort of 

382
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:28,040
not satisfied day-to-day, a bit 
down, a bit glum, but they're 

383
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,320
not doing anything about it. 
That's the worst kind. 

384
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:34,360
Like I always say, like you 
can't meditate your way out of a

385
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:38,240
shit situation, a bad bank 
balance, a toxic relationship or

386
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,440
anything like that. 
You can't do cold baths until 

387
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,160
that all changes. 
It's about taking action. 

388
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,440
Like, you need to identify 
what's wrong, find out what you 

389
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,840
need to do, and then bloody do 
it. 

390
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,400
And it doesn't have to be grand.
It could be like, right. 

391
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,800
How can I just improve the 
situation just by just 1% and 

392
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,080
then do that day after day after
day, Yeah. 

393
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,280
I massively, 100% agree with 
you, and that's the biggest 

394
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,800
thing for a lot of people 
though, because they're stuck in

395
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,600
the conscious and they don't get
into the subconscious. 

396
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,600
I think that's why it's really 
important, the three ways that I

397
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,720
believe that you can make 
positive change. 

398
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,200
It's physical first, so change 
your physical, physical action. 

399
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,840
So move your body, which is 
going to make you mentally feel 

400
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,480
better, which you're going to be
in more of a place of taking 

401
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,120
action, changing, which is then 
going to start to let you. 

402
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,720
And then the next thing after 
that then is, is being around 

403
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,880
the right people. 
If you surround yourself with 

404
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,680
the right people, you are 99% of
a chance going to improve your 

405
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,000
life 100%. 
But if you can't see staying 

406
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,680
around people who play the 
victim, gossip, whinge about 

407
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,720
people sell, everything's a 
problem that you know, what's 

408
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,920
that do to your feeling? 
Like what does that do to you 

409
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,520
internally? 
You just feel like shit. 

410
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,760
But like, if I'm around people 
who are like, oh, what are we 

411
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,240
doing today? 
What what are you like, what's 

412
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,240
exciting you at the moment? 
You know, what ideas have you 

413
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,000
got? 
Are you doing anything in 

414
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,400
business right now? 
When's the last time you took 

415
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,680
your partner on a date night? 
Like how do you set your day up 

416
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,040
for a structure? 
Oh, cool, cool, man, awesome. 

417
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,240
Like I'm not saying that you'd 
have to go the full end. 

418
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,160
You can go have a beer. 
You can have whatever. 

419
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,480
Like I'm not against that. 
I like a beer too, but like I 

420
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,600
think there's. 
Environment plays a big part, 

421
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,920
moving your body plays a big 
part. 

422
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,240
And then what comes from there 
then is like you feel more 

423
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,080
confident to speak up, do 
things, implement boundaries 

424
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,640
yourself. 
Worth is so much different. 

425
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,760
It's so much better. 
If you weren't allowed to use 

426
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:23,200
the word mindset, how do you 
explain to us, the listeners, 

427
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,200
what you do and like, the types 
of things that you help people 

428
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,440
with without using that? 
Word. 

429
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:33,240
That's a hard word mate. 
Without using the word mindset. 

430
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:38,440
Mine is eliminating self 
sabotage tendencies so you can 

431
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:42,760
build more self worth and 
confidence to achieve the things

432
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,080
you deeply want. 
I love it, you did it. 

433
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,720
I was battling not use that N 
word then. 

434
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,920
So what's it all about 
essentially then is mindset like

435
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,240
a bad word? 
Because people have sort of 

436
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,640
preconceived notions of that 
word mindset, when in fact 

437
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,720
you're saying it's, it's more 
about it's like problems 

438
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,160
solutions, but in a way to help 
you succeed, right? 

439
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,400
What so, So the question you're 
asking is, yeah. 

440
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,240
So like life coaching, which I 
remember when I started saying 

441
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,560
it with life, I used to laugh at
it. 

442
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,960
I couldn't tell people, oh, 
that's like I'm credited in this

443
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,280
or XYZ. 
It's kind kind of like action 

444
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,280
coach. 
So like, let's just say you're 

445
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,360
telling about your problems all 
the time and I'm going to call 

446
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,800
you out on your shit. 
So people think you're going to 

447
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,480
self soothe you or not. 
I'm going to actually be like, 

448
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,920
all right, OK, let's listen to 
what's going on. 

449
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,800
And I'm going to be like, OK, So
what are you normally doing 

450
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,640
which is preventing you from 
resolving this issue? 

451
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,040
Well, I probably need simple 
things like it might be like I 

452
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,160
need to go to bed earlier so I 
can wake up earlier so I can get

453
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,520
to the gym before the kids get 
up. 

454
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,400
OK, cool. 
And when you do that, what would

455
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,880
happen to your life? 
I'll have a bit more better 

456
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,360
routine. 
I'd feel better because I'm 

457
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:47,320
going to the gym. 
Ah, cool. 

458
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,920
And then like, right, what 
action do you think you could be

459
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,600
doing moving forward? 
And they'll be like, well, I'm 

460
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,800
going to set my alarm something 
simple like that for this 

461
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,440
scenario. 
OK, cool. 

462
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,440
So you're going to so that's the
action you're going to take, 

463
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,160
right? 
Yeah, yeah, cool. 

464
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,280
Like this is simple. 
And then like, cool, well, let's

465
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,280
implement that into your day. 
Let's implement that. 

466
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:10,560
But what I'm big on, which is 
again, is journaling every day. 

467
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,440
I journal every day. 
I set them up my all of my 

468
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,600
clients or when anyone working 
with you, you're journaling. 

469
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,240
So got 30 plus men in the 
journal every day and they're 

470
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,000
all in a better headspace. 
They all got businesses, they've

471
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,400
all got kids, they've all got a 
wife. 

472
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,640
They've all got other things 
going on, but they show up first

473
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,120
for themselves. 
So it's probably a bit off from 

474
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,240
the question you asked, but 
don't spot on. 

475
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,200
Action man. 
Everything's action man. 

476
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,480
Action, man. 
That's action. 

477
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,640
Man, I like it. 
That's better. 

478
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,720
I'm I just believe, right? 
The first ever, first couple of 

479
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,920
sessions, we're going to go deep
into you and understand what's 

480
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,000
going on subconsciously. 
Then I'm going to change those 

481
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,000
beliefs and I'm going to make 
you believe and yeah, I'm going 

482
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,320
to make you believe that you're 
capable of achieving far more 

483
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,040
than you're doing right now. 
And then we're going to build an

484
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:57,360
action plan to it because you 
know the, the saying, right? 

485
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,760
You know, if you wanted to do 
something you've never done, and

486
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,920
if you said the word, how can I 
do that? 

487
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,480
Like your mind instantly goes 
into uncertainty mode because 

488
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,080
it's like, how is this is new? 
How can I achieve that? 

489
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,520
I've never done it before. 
So your mind goes into no 

490
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,800
clarity. 
But then if you go, who can help

491
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,600
me, your mind thinks in a 
different way, like, well, Oh 

492
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,320
well, that person started the 
podcast. 

493
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,200
I'm going to reach out to Tear 
because Terry's got a podcast 

494
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,000
and he can give me some guidance
and clarity on how to start the 

495
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,600
process. 
But as soon as I went, how can I

496
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,680
do this? 
And I've never got no contact, 

497
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,840
so I've never done it myself. 
Like, you're probably going to 

498
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,000
stop pretty quickly. 
Do you know what I mean? 

499
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,760
Yeah. 
Like the scale of the goal 

500
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,840
intimidates you or stops you, 
like straight away what they 

501
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,200
call it paralysis by analysis or
something like that. 

502
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,440
It's like you're stopping dead 
in your tracks because it just 

503
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,600
seems too big. 
But then you can seek help. 

504
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,560
You can break the goals down and
stuff like that. 

505
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,480
Jesus, the 72 mile cock and 
balls. 

506
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,600
Like I'd never run that distance
before in my life. 

507
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,360
But then spoke to people, broke 
it down and and we got there in 

508
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,960
the end like. 
Yeah, that's unbelievable, man. 

509
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,400
I'm, I'm, I'm so grateful to 
tell me this. 

510
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,720
But like I'm just looking at it 
on that, on that paper on that 

511
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,240
frame is amazing just looking at
it. 

512
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,800
Yeah, my mum was very proud and.
Well, I'll tell you you'd you'd 

513
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,000
rode a cock and ball so. 
I don't have to do anything else

514
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,920
in my the rest of my life now. 
That's why I'm going to go down 

515
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,560
as is like a known right? 
I know everyone here hates 

516
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,920
adverts, but this one actually 
keeps the light on here at 

517
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,640
Rockman, so bear with me. 
Rockman runs monthly online 

518
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,200
running and fitness challenges 
for people short on time that 

519
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,560
still want a proper challenge to
spike their motivation. 

520
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,960
You get the buzz of race day 
without waiting for a far off 

521
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,560
event to come around with no 
travel and no extortionate entry

522
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,280
fees. 
Just real tests that you can fit

523
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,680
in and around your life anytime,
anywhere, all year round. 

524
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,600
And if you're not going ready 
for a challenge yet, we've got 

525
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,360
free, no nonsense running and 
strength plans that you can grab

526
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,680
via the link down below. 
Now let's get back to the 

527
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,040
episode. 
What's the first thing then you 

528
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,800
notice about someone who's self 
sabotaging and even though they 

529
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:57,120
may look successful? 
Yeah, well, in multiple areas, 

530
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,760
but let's just say like if 
they're self sabotaging is like 

531
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,360
maybe like they've got a good 
business, maybe they've got a 

532
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:08,800
good relationship, maybe they 
have a nice house and car, but 

533
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,600
they just feel empty inside. 
They've lost their drive and 

534
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:17,440
instead of recognising that they
might stop looking after their 

535
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,320
health, maybe they start picking
flaws at their partner. 

536
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,080
Maybe they start to drink a bit 
more. 

537
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,560
Maybe they stop avoiding the 
things they need to be doing. 

538
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,640
Maybe they're in sales, or they 
have to like reach out to a 

539
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,120
client, or they have to get some
quoting or they have to reach 

540
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,680
out to people. 
They stop doing the things they 

541
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,480
know they should be doing and 
before you know it, it starts 

542
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,160
small and it let goes more and 
more and more until all of these

543
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,520
tasks they've avoided are there 
and then they're like, shit, 

544
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,280
This is overwhelming. 
Shit, I'm going to hit snooze in

545
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,200
the morning now. 
Shit, I'm going to eat fast food

546
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,160
because I am meal prep before. 
Before you know it, they feel 

547
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,080
like their world's just coming 
on top of them and they get to a

548
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,520
stage. 
Like I thought I was going to be

549
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,920
happy at this stage. 
I thought it was all meant to 

550
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,680
work out at this stage. 
I'm at this stage of my life. 

551
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,960
I've ripped my butt off. 
I've got 2 beautiful kids, I've 

552
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,600
got a wife, I've got a house and
a car, but I feel empty inside. 

553
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,800
Yeah. 
And that's where they start to 

554
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,160
sabotage. 
What's the importance of balance

555
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,240
then? 
Massive, let's just say I was, 

556
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,960
I'm a big believer in like 
health, wealth and 

557
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,600
relationships. 
You have 3 pillars, right 

558
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,680
mindset should be in there as 
well. 

559
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:26,960
Let's just say right now we had 
four legs to a chair and for all

560
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,760
our life, we put all our focus 
in our career. 

561
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,240
I'm going to be successful. 
I'm going to do whatever it 

562
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,320
takes and that's when I'm going 
to become happy and one day work

563
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,520
goes bust. 
You, your health is atrocious, 

564
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,760
you don't really have any 
relationship with anyone and 

565
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,920
your mindset and self worth has 
always been connected to this. 

566
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,560
I'm successful when I do this. 
So when that goes, they normally

567
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,640
spiral because they've got no 
other legs on their chair to 

568
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,680
support them. 
And it's just so important and 

569
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,720
it's big for me with the clients
I work with and myself is like, 

570
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:59,200
I don't put all my life into 
just work. 

571
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,600
I'm far bigger than that. 
But it's like spending, making 

572
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,680
sure that I have date nights 
with my partner, making sure 

573
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,320
that my health is as best as I 
can be, making sure that I sleep

574
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,920
enough, making sure that I have 
quality time outside. 

575
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,400
I play rugby still. 
Like, these are all the things 

576
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:20,120
that come form and combine into 
me tuning up every day as I am. 

577
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,400
And I, I learned that the hard 
way, though. 

578
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,880
I learned that the really hard 
way. 

579
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,240
Yeah, do. 
Do you want to expand? 

580
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,320
Yeah, yeah, like so when I was 
in Australia, well, when I was 

581
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,200
younger I went to Australia to 
play rugby league, but just 

582
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,800
before that was with a team 
called Leeds Rhinos. 

583
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,000
I had my first, third, first 
knee reconstruction on my right 

584
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,040
knee when I was 18 or 19 in 
Leeds Rhinos. 

585
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Contract ended and then I went 
to Australia. 

586
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,520
But all I ever wanted to be was 
a professional athlete. 

587
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:49,280
That's all I cared about and my 
worth was connected to that. 

588
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:53,600
Life was amazing if rugby was 
going well and growing up my I 

589
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,160
felt like mum and dad loved me 
because of rugby. 

590
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,640
This was the belief that I 
created. 

591
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,360
But if I wasn't playing rugby, 
like I wasn't getting 

592
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:02,760
complimented, I wasn't getting 
missed. 

593
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,880
So this was all my worth was 
based on performance. 

594
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,480
Two years after that when I went
to Australia, When I went to 

595
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,560
Australia I was 19. 
I did 10-10 years there, but two

596
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,880
years after that I did the ACL 
knee reconstruction on the same 

597
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:18,800
knee again. 
Then when I was on, when I did 

598
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,960
my second ear instruction, I 
realised that like these 

599
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:25,200
anxieties were kind of my life 
overthinking, self doubt, things

600
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:30,440
that I must because of sport. 
And then I bought a house with a

601
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,600
partner I was with at that stage
and I pushed that away Terry. 

602
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:37,840
And then after that, I found 
another partner for my own 

603
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,880
happiness and I massed that 
relationship. 

604
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,760
And then the worst thing was 
then was I was like, right, I'm,

605
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,680
I'm happy again. 
I found a new partner in the 

606
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,960
honeymoon stage, you know, six 
months and my, my, I'm finally 

607
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,560
rehabbing my knee the second 
time. 

608
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,000
And then like, it was like the 
universe was like, right, you, 

609
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,080
you want to learn still third 
knee reconstruction And I was 

610
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,880
out for 18 months and the 
surgeon said, me, you're done. 

611
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,800
You cannot play the sport ever 
again. 

612
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,520
The height the risk of doing it 
is crazy. 

613
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,080
And it was like who who am I 
without this? 

614
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,200
Like these guys only like me for
this or this person only talks 

615
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,400
to me about this. 
What am I without this? 

616
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:16,320
And I just my world ended and I 
I wanted it was like I didn't 

617
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,480
know it wasn't like I got a plan
to kill myself but it was 

618
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,760
definitely like a stage of like 
I need to end this somehow 

619
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,160
without the plan of attack. 
It was just the thoughts in my 

620
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,040
head were so negative. 
It was because I didn't know who

621
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,680
I was without this. 
My self esteem was attached to 

622
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:37,160
this, my worth and like 25 was 
the year I just really looked at

623
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,440
myself in a mindset, mind fluff 
way, but like but like literally

624
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,120
looked on myself. 
And then I went to this. 

625
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,920
I went and did, I worked for 
this demolition company in 

626
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:51,280
Australia removing asbestos 
masks in suit all day, 35° 

627
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,120
stinking hot. 
And this was like the transition

628
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:59,240
out and I was so lost inside. 
And the boss said to me, hey, we

629
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,480
got a job going up in a country 
called Nauru, do you want to go 

630
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:03,680
do it? 
I said, yeah, let's do it. 

631
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,320
I want to get out here. 
I just want to get out this 

632
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,520
Australia for a while. 
And I was working on this little

633
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,800
island called Naru, which is 
right next to Papua New Guinea. 

634
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,360
And you could drive it in 30 
minutes. 

635
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,560
And while we were on this 
island, it was stinking hot and 

636
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,240
we were removing these asbestos 
sheets off this power plant and 

637
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,600
we could have the locals work 
with us. 

638
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,840
And then there was an A little 
porta cabin on the top of 

639
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,120
refugees and the locals didn't 
want to work with us. 

640
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,560
So we asked the the refugees to 
work with us. 

641
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,520
And this one guy come down from 
Bangladesh called Saji. 

642
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,040
And I've never seen a guy Terry 
so happy. 

643
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,560
He was bubbly, he was energetic.
And I was like, this guy's 

644
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,520
working with me and we'd like 
I'd pass it. 

645
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,320
She'd sell to him every day. 
And he'd be like, Ollie, do you 

646
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,640
want coffee? 
Do you want tea? 

647
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,720
What do you want? 
And I was like, wow, this guy's 

648
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,120
so nice. 
And one day we had this like 

649
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,600
trench of rain come down. 
I took him to my hotel. 

650
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,840
I said, where's your clothes? 
What spare clothes you got? 

651
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,440
He goes, oh, no, I wear this 
every night. 

652
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,600
And then I Chuck it on the line 
and I put him back on in the 

653
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,640
morning. 
I was like, what the heck? 

654
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,200
I was like, have my clothes. 
I said, tell me how you got 

655
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,600
here. 
And he said, I'll tell you in 

656
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,840
the morning. 
So I was walking down to the job

657
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,600
site. 
I see him there sitting on the 

658
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,760
side of the road with his legs 
crossed, eyes closed. 

659
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,960
I was like, what's he doing? 
I didn't want to interrupt him. 

660
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,960
And then when we got to the job 
site and he come around, I said,

661
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,760
Saji, what are you doing? 
Then he goes on, I'm meditating.

662
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,040
I said, what's that? 
He goes, it stops me worrying 

663
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,680
about my past. 
I can't worry about my future. 

664
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,440
I'm just where my feet are. 
And I was like, wow, what? 

665
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,480
Like what was that? 
I said, tell me like a spill of 

666
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,360
beans, why are you here? 
Because you're obviously not 

667
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,560
from Nauru. 
He goes, oh, well, four years 

668
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,320
ago, we had these people come 
through my village in 

669
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,280
Bangladesh. 
They shot at my village. 

670
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,320
They shot my mum and dad. 
And they said, and my wife was 

671
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,080
in the village somewhere. 
And they turned the gun, like 

672
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,720
towards our way and we just ran 
away. 

673
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,360
And he goes, so I jumped on a 
boat and it was taking me to 

674
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,840
Melbourne, Australia. 
I was like, wow. 

675
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,240
And he said, and the offshore 
police took him from there and 

676
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,080
took him to Nauru. 
So there I am listening this 

677
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,600
guy's story, bawling my eyes out
and I'm thinking, wow, I am so 

678
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:04,440
empty externally. 
No, I'm so empty internally. 

679
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,360
We're in a westernized country. 
I have so much. 

680
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,200
This guy, he's been here for 
four years in this little 

681
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,000
island, hasn't seen his his 
wife, his mum and dad got shot 

682
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,920
in front of him and he's 
smiling. 

683
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,240
He's happier than I am. 
I said, mate, teach me, teach me

684
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,600
whatever it is. 
So he was like, show me how to 

685
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,800
meditate. 
And then like I took that 

686
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,920
practice then to me with 
Australia and it was just 

687
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:27,560
building habits like this 
everyday. 

688
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,440
But the reason why I listened, 
learnt that habit was because 

689
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:33,800
the pain I was in was so strong 
that I needed to change. 

690
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,760
And that's when we started to 
build change. 

691
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:40,200
And that like honestly that guy 
today I tell this story on 

692
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,240
podcasts and speaking events and
it's, it's amazing. 

693
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:43,480
But that guy transformed my 
life. 

694
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,960
That's a mad story. 
Like to be so happy as well like

695
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,440
that. 
That's that's a pretty bleak 

696
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,720
story. 
But yeah. 

697
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,560
But I suppose he put things into
perspective for you as well of, 

698
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,520
you know, there's you in this, 
as you say, the Western world, 

699
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,880
you've got everything, you've 
got a roof over your head, 

700
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,040
you've got food in the cupboards
and stuff like, and all right, 

701
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:02,560
you can't play your rugby, all 
right. 

702
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,640
Oh, come on, I'll you know. 
Like poor me, I can't play rugby

703
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,920
anymore, Poor me. 
Like I was like screw this, I 

704
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,960
can still train every day, I can
still move. 

705
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,880
OK I can't play this sport 
anymore but what a blessing it 

706
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,240
is now to actually discover 
other aspects of me. 

707
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,600
My belief was as well like no 
one actually cared about me but 

708
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,560
rugby. 
No, not many people care about 

709
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,440
the sport as much as you think. 
But it's the belief systems 

710
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,680
Ukraine yourself. 
But the biggest thing that made 

711
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:31,760
me realize was I put my worth on
performance and instead of just 

712
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,840
being accepting who I actually 
am as a person, that was a 

713
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,480
really hard thing to look and 
accept the ugly aspects of me, 

714
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,760
except the parts that I've hid 
away from and worked really hard

715
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,720
to mask. 
When I shone a light, shone the 

716
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,920
light on those areas of my life 
and give love to it instead of 

717
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,080
shame to it. 
That's where like real 

718
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,280
confidence come to me and being 
able to speak authentically and 

719
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,160
fear of not being judged for 
what I'm saying and knowing that

720
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:00,360
like it's going to resonate with
someone at some stage of their 

721
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,040
life or wherever they are in 
life, you know, So that was big 

722
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,280
I. 
Suppose you you fell in love 

723
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,600
with who you were, not what you 
do. 

724
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,440
I suppose too many people put 
the the concentration on what we

725
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,520
do in order to get that 
validation when it's it's just 

726
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,440
who you are as a person which 
has the deep meaning which can 

727
00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:19,159
really if you know who you are, 
that can never go away. 

728
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,960
What's one of your proudest 
moments? 

729
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,000
One of my one of my world's 
proudest moments. 

730
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,480
It's hard to think. 
I mean, I, I keep going on about

731
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,520
the cock and balls, but it, it 
probably was, you know, it did 

732
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,920
really well. 
It went international all over 

733
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,440
the world in, in the New York 
Post, the Guardian, the Daily 

734
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,600
Mail, the Metro. 
But it was, it's all a status 

735
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,080
thing. 
Yes, I raised loads of money for

736
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,840
charity and that was always my 
primary driver. 

737
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,159
But it became a thing of I got 
status from this, Pete, I'm 

738
00:34:51,159 --> 00:34:53,360
getting adoration from people 
for this. 

739
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:58,080
And I don't know if that's the, 
the right way to look at things 

740
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,040
because I've realised that it's 
almost similar to what you're 

741
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,400
saying in, in terms of that you,
you thought that you're the way 

742
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,400
people liked you is because of 
how you performed. 

743
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:11,720
And maybe like, I'm putting my 
concentration now on I, I need 

744
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,240
status And it, it strikes down 
into the social media. 

745
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,160
You know, I'm trying to promote 
Rockman, I'm trying to promote 

746
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,400
the podcast. 
I need those likes, I need those

747
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,000
views and then maybe you lose a 
bit of touch or sort of, well 

748
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,160
actually I've got a family in 
there that have unconditional 

749
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,720
love for me. 
Maybe I should put some more 

750
00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:28,360
concentration and time into 
that. 

751
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,000
And it's something I consciously
tried to do now because I know, 

752
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,120
you know, all this stuff can go 
in a day, like your rugby 

753
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,920
career, one need thing, it can 
go. 

754
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,280
But yeah, I understand agree. 
But I do believe at the same 

755
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:44,600
time, like, you know, you have 
to to have to to really enjoy 

756
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,040
something, you have to have a 
level of passion. 

757
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,240
And when you have level of 
passion, you're willing to do it

758
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,520
regardless of the pain that 
comes with it, because that's 

759
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,640
what passion actually is. 
But with with yourself, like I, 

760
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,600
I wanted to ask you like, you 
know, when your Paris moments 

761
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,640
and you said that was so when 
you think about that, how does 

762
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,560
that make you feel when you 
think about it? 

763
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:03,200
Yeah, like puffed your chest 
out, wouldn't it? 

764
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,120
It's like, yeah, I did well 
there. 

765
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,320
I did something. 
So you feel, you feel proud, 

766
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,160
happy, right? 
So that emotion back then has 

767
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,360
come back to where you are right
now. 

768
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,560
You thought about that. 
And what has brought has brought

769
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,320
up a positive emotion, right? 
So it's a bit like what we put 

770
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:22,080
our intention on brings that 
emotion back to us because we've

771
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,640
all experienced fear, sadness, 
guilt, happiness, all of those 

772
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:29,040
areas. 
So one thing that I do every day

773
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,640
with Richard Jordan helps, which
the meditation helps is is 

774
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,600
brings bring parts of you like 
what, what's something in the 

775
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,560
past you're really grateful for?
What's something you're past 

776
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,040
you're really proud of? 
And you're always going to bring

777
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,880
peace to your life. 
If you're grateful for 

778
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,280
something, if you're ever always
going to look back into the past

779
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,760
of something you're grateful 
for, you're always going to 

780
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,320
bring level of joy, happiness. 
So I'm bringing that emotion 

781
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,280
back into my life right now 
instead of waking up going, oh, 

782
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,440
I'm on my phone scrolling vape, 
sorry, tag vape. 

783
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,520
Before we know we've gone out 
the door, we're already in a 

784
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,600
negative state. 
So it's always bringing positive

785
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,400
states back into this day, which
is going to amplify our day. 

786
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,120
That's when we start the stack 
wins. 

787
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,320
I've got a funny story just as a
little side note. 

788
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:11,840
So on TikTok once I watched a 
video of a Komodo dragon eating 

789
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,240
a newborn deer that literally 
just fallen out of the mother 

790
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,240
and it came off and ate it 
because I watched it all. 

791
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,240
I got stuck in an algorithm and 
this is because just before I 

792
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:24,160
was going to bed, next one 
Komodo dragon eating something 

793
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,200
else, next one Komodo dragon 
eating something else. 

794
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,120
I felt awful. 
I was about to go to bed and I 

795
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,640
was like, Oh my God, all I've 
got is Komodo dragon. 

796
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,360
But it's a prime example of a 
sort of like what you're 

797
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,920
ingesting, whether it's even 
through your eyes can affect 

798
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,000
that mental state. 
Like, and if you're ruminating 

799
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,840
about all these bad things, then
that's that's what's going to 

800
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,680
happen. 
It's bringing you down. 

801
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,120
But if you can concentrate on 
the positive, it has the same 

802
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,120
effect. 
And apparently your brain can't 

803
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,680
tell the difference between you 
thinking of something and it 

804
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,040
actually happening happening. 
It's you get those same 

805
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,400
endorphins, the same hormones 
are being released just through 

806
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,080
thinking about something rather 
than actually happening. 

807
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,800
That that's actually the same 
men of if you we're gossiping 

808
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,520
about someone negatively, our 
brain doesn't pick up that we're

809
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,840
talking about someone else. 
So it believes that we're 

810
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,560
speaking about ourselves in a 
negative way. 

811
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,960
So we're actually talking poorly
to ourselves, and our brain is 

812
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,000
subconsciously taking all that 
information in about ourselves, 

813
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,000
about ourselves believing. 
So be mindful what you talk 

814
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,120
about as well. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

815
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:23,680
I want to move on to burnout a 
bit. 

816
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,960
I don't know what if you've got 
thoughts about burnout because 

817
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,480
I've got personal story of that,
but I'll ask you some questions 

818
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,280
first. 
What does burnout look like 

819
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,360
before people admit that they're
burnt out? 

820
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,080
Burnout looks like they can't 
stop that. 

821
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:45,160
You need to keep going. 
They're struggling to sleep. 

822
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:51,760
They're stopping prioritising 
themselves because they can't 

823
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:53,640
afford to stop the other areas 
of their life. 

824
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,080
Whenever I've experienced 
burnout, it's always like it's 

825
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,960
because I'm pleasing everyone 
else except myself. 

826
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,840
And I feel like I've held myself
to this bar that I have to 

827
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,680
maintain and it's not 
sustainable. 

828
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:05,840
That's what burnout normally 
comes. 

829
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:10,240
And normally you're like anxious
coming, coping mechanisms and 

830
00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:11,720
other things come up, stress 
factors. 

831
00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:13,640
You're on your phone a bit more 
to kind of like give yourself a 

832
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:17,320
little dopamine hit to like get 
yourself out that realm or have 

833
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,240
a cigarette or vape all of these
things. 

834
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,240
Tell me about your. 
Your burnout extortion because 

835
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,080
there's I've seen people online 
saying burnout isn't real. 

836
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:30,480
Have you seen those clips? 
No, maybe my algorithm's not 

837
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,200
giving me that. 
Burnout's not real. 

838
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,080
I think it was on the diary of a
CEO, one of the guests on there.

839
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,000
Well, like burnout's not real. 
And it was somewhat like high 

840
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,880
flying businesswoman saying, and
I wonder if she's saying it just

841
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,680
to get clicks. 
But the first, and maybe before 

842
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,720
it even happened to me, I I'd 
maybe thought like, come on, 

843
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:51,080
just pull your socks up. 
Why you being so soft? 

844
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,680
Just get on with the job. 
But it was when I was working 

845
00:39:53,680 --> 00:40:00,600
for a company, it was quite a 
well known sports company, high 

846
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,520
pressure, lots of work, which I 
loved. 

847
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,280
I thrived in it, but I had a 
boss on top of me all the time. 

848
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:11,480
Demanding. 
The way he spoke to you was was 

849
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,200
terribly shouting, swearing, 
threatening your job. 

850
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,400
I could handle it. 
But then it was seeping into 

851
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,480
outside of life. 
So it was text as when I was 

852
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,880
getting home. 
Text late at night, 10:00 PM, 

853
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,400
midnight when I'm on annual 
leave. 

854
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,200
And it became to a point where 
there was no escape. 

855
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,000
And I suppose that it's like 
that stress mechanism was 

856
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,960
constantly turned on and you 
don't see it happening. 

857
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,320
It's like a slow burner, isn't 
it? 

858
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:40,400
And I think it was over about 
probably 12 months, honestly. 

859
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:44,240
Like you last that long to the 
point where I can't do this 

860
00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:46,120
anymore. 
I could see myself getting I'll 

861
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,080
like mentally ill if if it 
continued. 

862
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:53,400
So I know it's real and I know 
the pains like and all right, 

863
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,960
maybe not everyone's being 
abused, but I think it's excess 

864
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,480
can never endure. 
And I think if you if you, 

865
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,040
you're constantly stressed and 
whether it's big stress, 

866
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,560
sometimes they say that even low
level stress is just as bad for 

867
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,360
you as smoking because it's it's
not stressful enough. 

868
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,160
We talk go back to that pain 
that you do anything about it, 

869
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,440
you put up with it for long 
periods of time. 

870
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,000
Do you deal? 
You must deal with people on 

871
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,840
burnout and stuff like that. 
Similar stories. 

872
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,000
So we've just proven the 
burnout's true. 

873
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,600
It's real. 
Yeah. 

874
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,560
Yeah. 
This guy, this I think the thing

875
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,840
with that diary CEO guy, he gets
guests on that say this thing 

876
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,920
contradicts things and then 
you'll get someone else on that 

877
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,840
says the total opposite. 
He's an extremely smart guy. 

878
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,760
He he's not stupid. 
But yeah, like 100% Bernard is 

879
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,800
real. 
Like the two areas of that, 

880
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:43,920
though, is again, if our if we 
don't have enough worth in 

881
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,480
ourself to communicate our 
needs. 

882
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,320
So what? 
You might have had a fear of 

883
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,560
speaking up to him. 
They're going, hey mate, I'm 

884
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,480
actually on annual leave now or 
hey mate, it's 10:00 at night. 

885
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,600
Like I'm out the hours now. 
Like appreciate if you want to 

886
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,480
have this conversation, let's 
save it for first thing in the 

887
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,160
morning for a coffee. 
That's how we could have 

888
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:04,840
delivered that. 
We're also on him. 

889
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,280
He's got no boundaries. 
He has no awareness to his 

890
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,120
actions and he probably has a 
level of a control issue. 

891
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:11,840
That's why he's constantly on 
the thing. 

892
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,760
Do you know him? 
Yeah, I've just, I've just 

893
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,160
background checked him. 
I just found him on Facebook or 

894
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,760
LinkedIn. 
No, yeah, yeah. 

895
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,120
So like it's when you understand
this going on underneath people 

896
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,560
for myself, I have people please
a trade. 

897
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:30,880
So which I've extremely worked 
on via mindset is I would never 

898
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,640
communicate my needs and I would
never speak up and I would let 

899
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,240
it all happen because I didn't 
want to cause confrontation, but

900
00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:40,080
I wanted to please my boss until
it got to the breaking point of 

901
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,400
12 months or nine months where I
go, he's just asked me for one 

902
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,720
simple text and I've gone F you.
I'm out of here. 

903
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:47,280
I quit this job. 
I don't care about the money 

904
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,800
anymore. 
My sanity's important because 

905
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,360
I'm losing myself, but if I was 
able to communicate with my 

906
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,200
needs back then and take 
accountability myself to go hey 

907
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,560
mate. 
And I like I just said about 

908
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,320
let's speak in the morning first
thing or look, I'm with my kids 

909
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,120
tonight, man. 
Like like I don't appreciate the

910
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,800
text, but I understand that you 
care a lot about the business. 

911
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,200
It's how we deliver it as well, 
innit? 

912
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,680
Maybe that could have changed 
the whole demeanour. 

913
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,440
Maybe he could have had you know
that I'm saying in a seek to 

914
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,120
understand before being 
understood. 

915
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,680
And when we do these patterns, 
it changes it all. 

916
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,480
But some people you can't change
either. 

917
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,360
Like you can change your 
behaviour, but you can't change 

918
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,120
his unless you said those 
things. 

919
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,920
But but you know, it's real. 
I actually was speaking to a guy

920
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:33,080
the other day who's a builder 
and he's a client of mine and he

921
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:39,240
is fit like great, you know, 3 
kids, wife, self-employed and 

922
00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:42,560
he's healthy. 
But he, you know, over time, he 

923
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,160
struggled with guilt to 
prioritise his own needs because

924
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,760
he's got two young, three young 
children or two young children, 

925
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,240
his wife, and he wants to make 
sure they're OK while managing 

926
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:53,480
the business. 
Until it broke him. 

927
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,560
He had a heart issue. 
So the stress, even though he 

928
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,880
wasn't verbalising it, is stress
shown in his body. 

929
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,320
Then now he's got to maintain 
his heart rate. 

930
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,280
He can't go over a certain 
threshold because of the stress 

931
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,080
that it caused him. 
And now his heart's in a 

932
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:10,240
different dynamic. 
So if you don't speak it in a 

933
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:13,680
right way, your body will show 
it, your body will show signs of

934
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:17,000
breakdown. 
And the biggest one for me is my

935
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,960
sleep gets impacted when I'm 
struggling and if I'm not 

936
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,520
sleeping well I'm a grumpy 
bugger so. 

937
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,320
Oh yeah, I know. 
I know that feeling. 

938
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,000
Like I know that feeling. 
Well, you know the feeling. 

939
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,560
I'm a grumpy bugger. 
Yeah, yeah, I know so as. 

940
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,640
Soon as you walk through the 
doors, here we come. 

941
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:29,360
He's a. 
Prick. 

942
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,360
Look at him like his mindset 
wanker. 

943
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,520
How do people make themselves 
stressed then? 

944
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,440
How do they unconsciously head 
towards a path of burnout? 

945
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,120
What are they doing that is 
causing this? 

946
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:46,360
Is it a lack of time because no 
one has time, or is it a lack of

947
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:50,400
clarity in prioritisation? 
I think both of them 

948
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:54,680
prioritisation and like anyone 
who's really like how to go and 

949
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,640
successfully figured it out is 
it you can't put more things. 

950
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,800
You got to take things off your 
plate before you put new things 

951
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,720
on your plate. 
You can't just double down and 

952
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:05,480
load it up because that's why 
new you new me happens when 

953
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,520
people fall off the wagon 
quickly is because the plate is 

954
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,200
already full. 
So we got to take things off in 

955
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,120
order to do that. 
But I think a lot of things 

956
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,520
stand back from my childhood as 
well. 

957
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:20,880
Again, if you were with the 
family members that you wanted 

958
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,280
to please them all the time so 
you did whatever they said or 

959
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,920
you wasn't able to communicate 
because parents never taught you

960
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:31,600
that, then you've never been 
taught that as an adult. 

961
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,720
And normally how people deal 
with it is they they suffer and 

962
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,680
they don't say nothing. 
Especially men. 

963
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,080
Men are really good at it and 
speaking from my own 

964
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,440
experiences. 
And then it gets to a stage 

965
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:45,280
where you like meltdown, you 
socially don't want to be around

966
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:46,600
people anymore. 
It's overwhelming. 

967
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,520
You're not the bubbly person 
that used to be. 

968
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,360
You can't be asked to go to the 
gym anymore or look after your 

969
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,240
health. 
You you'd like you're shallow, 

970
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:57,240
the person that you once was. 
And that's all the signs from 

971
00:45:57,240 --> 00:46:00,160
it. 
But like it is also your duty as

972
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,400
a human being to rectify that 
and change that. 

973
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,320
Because if we constantly blame 
our parents for our childhood, 

974
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,200
depending on what it is, that 
what happened, we're always 

975
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,800
going to be stuck. 
So we have to like recognise, 

976
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,800
OK, but mum and dad was this, 
that doesn't make me this. 

977
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:21,280
It's like that story of the the 
father was an alcoholic and he 

978
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,920
had two twins and then one then 
become an alcoholic and the 

979
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,640
other one wasn't. 
And they went to the doc and 

980
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:27,800
they said, why are you an 
alcoholic? 

981
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,000
And he's like, because my dad 
was and then went to the guy who

982
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,560
never drinks the other son. 
He goes, why are you, you don't 

983
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:33,920
drink? 
He goes because my dad. 

984
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,480
So they both make a decision 
depending, even though they both

985
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,520
had a dad who was an alcoholic, 
both of them made a decision on 

986
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,000
what path they wanted to go 
down. 

987
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,760
But I think again, it comes down
to you experience a negative 

988
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,440
experience and you make decision
and to change that behaviour, 

989
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,840
that pattern and learn to 
communicate and make it a safe 

990
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,720
place to do it. 
I'm mindful of just rabbling on,

991
00:46:54,720 --> 00:46:56,200
So if I'm rabbling, I'm sorry, 
Tara. 

992
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,720
It's all good. 
I was What's your opinions on 

993
00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:00,880
grind culture? 
4:00 AM Club. 

994
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,920
Well, I well depends. 
Are you a morning person or a 

995
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,080
night person? 
What are you like a night? 

996
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,800
Oh or a morning person? 
I used to be in this is the 

997
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:12,280
thing. 
So I used to wake up early, get 

998
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,880
my training in. 
I, I, I think it's quite 

999
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:18,280
romanticized this. 
You get up at 5:00 AM, four AM, 

1000
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:22,000
whatever it is, you've got 3-4 
hours before anyone else gets up

1001
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,680
to get stuff in. 
It sounds great. 

1002
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,080
And you know, obviously I've got
a full time job, I've got kids, 

1003
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,120
I've got my side business I'm 
trying to do. 

1004
00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:32,480
I did it. 
It lasted maybe a month because 

1005
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,280
I found that it just drove me 
into the ground because what 

1006
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,880
they don't tell you about stuff 
like 4:00 AM club is you're 

1007
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,440
going to bed at 8:00 PM. 
Like that's what they don't tell

1008
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:41,640
you. 
But then you're missing out on 

1009
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,600
that time with the wife. 
I guess it goes back to sort of 

1010
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:44,720
balance. 
Priorities. 

1011
00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:46,360
What do you want? 
Yeah, exactly so. 

1012
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,640
So like for instance, this side 
hustle thing, what could 

1013
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,240
potentially happen if you 
achieved it? 

1014
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,640
Have more time. 
But it's that fallacy. 

1015
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,120
Would I have less time because 
now I've got something? 

1016
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:00,880
Where you're going to go 
backwards first, aren't you? 

1017
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,200
Like you're, you're pulling your
sleeves up and doing more. 

1018
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,400
You're, you're running a, your 
full time job and a side job and

1019
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,440
you've got children and you've 
parent and you've got a wife. 

1020
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,640
So you've got to kind of be 
realistic on how much hours you 

1021
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,440
can devote to it. 
Maybe you get up at 4:00, but 

1022
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,000
you've had a shit sleep. 
It's like your output is going 

1023
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,120
to be bare minimum. 
So like logically you probably 

1024
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:21,720
go out. 
I could do with another hour or 

1025
00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:25,920
two in bed while and get up at 
6:00 and spend half an hour, 40 

1026
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,840
minutes on just doing the one 
aspect of it. 

1027
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:31,560
But like, it's just being more 
realistic if you put so much on 

1028
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,080
your plate. 
It's like a lot of things I'm 

1029
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,600
saying are very common sense, 
but common sense is not as 

1030
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:39,000
common as we believe. 
So, so be more realistic about 

1031
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,520
what you're doing and be more 
realistic about like, OK, that 

1032
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,680
that's not, that's not smart to 
do that today. 

1033
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,280
So we won't do that today. 
But scheduling is the best 

1034
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:48,760
thing. 
It's kind of treating your life 

1035
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:53,240
like a schedule because 
structure creates freedom and 

1036
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:54,880
you'll realise you have more 
time in a day. 

1037
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:58,480
Like best way is like if you 
want to whip your phone and find

1038
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,640
how much screen time you are on 
a day, you'll quickly realise 

1039
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,560
it's shit that I have got hours 
in the day available. 

1040
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,000
But it literally comes down to 
what? 

1041
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:12,800
Like I when I started coaching I
didn't have much risk. 

1042
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,520
I was single in Australia. 
I didn't have kids. 

1043
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,400
I had a mortgage. 
I had I was renting at another 

1044
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,280
place and I just went. 
I hate my job this much. 

1045
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:23,840
What I was doing. 
I need to change. 

1046
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:27,880
This doesn't just bring me joy. 
It actually like the outcome 

1047
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,560
could be amazing, amazing. 
Like living a life where I like 

1048
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,600
I have true meaning every day 
and like impacting people. 

1049
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:38,760
I want to go down that path. 
I've I did. 

1050
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,040
I wouldn't recommend the way I 
did it to anyone else because 

1051
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,320
I'm probably a bit more, I don't
know. 

1052
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,440
I like risk, like being in the 
fire, but it it worked and it 

1053
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,960
was long and it was hard, But if
you've got other commitments, 

1054
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,520
you've got to you've got to 
think about your wife and your 

1055
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,200
kids as well. 
But I do, I just think, I just 

1056
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,040
think you've got to be realistic
with it all. 

1057
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,160
I mean, Ted, you know what I 
mean? 

1058
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:58,760
Like. 
That's exactly what I've done. 

1059
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,280
So I don't do any of that stuff 
now. 

1060
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:04,320
And it's basically you take a 
knock to the ego. 

1061
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,440
That's what I've done is that 
there's me going, I need to do 

1062
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,440
this, this, this. 
I need to get all this in, you 

1063
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,400
know, whether it's posting, 
whether it's podcasts, whether 

1064
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,360
it's challenges, whether it's my
training. 

1065
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,600
But then nowadays I go what's 
realistic and what is 

1066
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,800
sustainable, What can I sustain?
Yes, growth isn't going to be as

1067
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:25,400
quick whether that is fitness, 
job, work, but it's sustainable 

1068
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,240
and I can maintain it for long 
periods of time. 

1069
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:30,080
Whereas before it was, it was 
like up and down crash, you 

1070
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,320
know, go hard, crash it, crash 
back down and stuff like that. 

1071
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,120
And then imagine what that does 
to you. 

1072
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:38,160
Like your, your, your mind, your
mindset, your emotions, You're, 

1073
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,760
you're a roller coaster with 
them. 

1074
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,440
You're up when it's going really
well and you're down when it's 

1075
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,040
not going great. 
And you're like questioning 

1076
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,440
every time you're doing this, 
like, is this worth it all? 

1077
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,480
What's the outcome? 
I don't really have a clarity on

1078
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:49,800
what the future looks like right
now. 

1079
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,560
I'm like, I'm not, I can't train
as much. 

1080
00:50:52,560 --> 00:51:00,560
I socialize, I think like, OK, 
if I if I was single and this 

1081
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,720
year I wanted to prioritise 
dating, high chances, my health 

1082
00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:05,680
is probably going to go out the 
window a little bit more than 

1083
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:06,880
it. 
I'm not going to be in peak 

1084
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,840
performance because I'm going to
be going on date nights more. 

1085
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,840
I'm going to be eating out more.
I'm going to be socialising 

1086
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,800
more. 
So I've got to accept that 

1087
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,880
something's got to give. 
But if I accept that I'm going 

1088
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,640
to be flying in my business this
year, I'm going to have the best

1089
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,360
health ever. 
I'm going to be going on an 

1090
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,320
amazing date and potentially 
meet in person. 

1091
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,640
Like it's not realistic as I've 
set myself up to fail. 

1092
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:29,920
So I've got to be like, OK, what
do I want to achieve this 

1093
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,640
quarter? 
What am I willing to let go of 

1094
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:36,120
in order to to pursue that? 
That would be it. 

1095
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,640
And it's not forever. 
So it's like you've just got 

1096
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,960
goals at that moment. 
Your goals will change in the 

1097
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:43,560
next quarter and stuff like 
that. 

1098
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,120
So I suppose it's what do you 
value right now? 

1099
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:48,520
Yeah, something's going to have 
to give. 

1100
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,800
You can pick it back up in a 
bit. 

1101
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,120
I suppose it's like you must 
hear about hybrid training. 

1102
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:57,080
Is that in between like high 
rocks and is that like hybrid 

1103
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,200
training is like between high 
rocks and like CrossFit or not? 

1104
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,080
It's basically. 
You, you would have just called 

1105
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,920
it training as a rugby player, 
you do strength, you do 

1106
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,680
endurance running, that's it. 
And what they do is you just 

1107
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,120
take those two plans and you 
layer them on top of each other 

1108
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:12,600
and you do them at the same 
time. 

1109
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,160
And that is called hybrid 
training. 

1110
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:16,160
And a lot of people that do 
hybrid training go into 

1111
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,840
CrossFit, they or they go into 
high rocks because it sort of 

1112
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:23,440
lends itself well. 
But what will happen is when you

1113
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,760
have an event coming up, so 
you've got an endurance event, 

1114
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:28,960
well then your strength will 
come down a bit and your 

1115
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:31,120
endurance running will go up. 
But it's not forever. 

1116
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,080
It's just for that four month 
block as you train. 

1117
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,480
And then once you hit that 
event, it comes back down and 

1118
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:37,720
stuff. 
And I tell you, I tell you one 

1119
00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:42,040
with balance and stuff that I 
know so many people guilty of, 

1120
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,880
it is again, it's the new year, 
new me. 

1121
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,480
I'm going to get fit. 
They put an unsustainable 

1122
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,040
training plan together. 
I'm training six days a week, 

1123
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,800
hour and a half a day. 
And then they wonder why they 

1124
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:56,120
fall off, don't they, after two 
weeks And you're better off just

1125
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,400
going, being real. 
I can train three times a week 

1126
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:03,600
for half an hour each time, but 
I can sustain that for the whole

1127
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,240
year. 
That's what I've felt. 

1128
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:06,600
That's what I've that's. 
So true there. 

1129
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:07,080
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

1130
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,080
Like, literally, like I had 
something the other day go to me

1131
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,840
like, oh, you know, this my goal
for this quarter, let's say. 

1132
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,600
So I break the year up in four 
quarters, three months of each 

1133
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,520
quarter. 
And they're like, I'm going to 

1134
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,440
train it. 
I'm going to train every day. 

1135
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:22,520
This for this quarter. 
I'm like every day. 

1136
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,560
Are you serious? 
I was like, have you got 

1137
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:25,280
children? 
Yeah. 

1138
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,920
What happens if one of them gets
sick and you can't train that 

1139
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,200
day? 
So you've failed already. 

1140
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,360
So your mind is now telling you,
well, there's no point of 

1141
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,040
continuing this because you've 
already failed. 

1142
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:40,800
But if I put my goal on for this
quarter, I want to drop 3 kilos,

1143
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:44,720
well, that is more achievable. 
And it's like, well, I can, I 

1144
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,360
got a bit of give like you just 
said, three days. 

1145
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,280
It's more about what I'm eating 
depending on my body as well. 

1146
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:54,000
It's just, it's just your brain.
You've got it like you've got to

1147
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,160
give your brain and mind a bit 
of it. 

1148
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,640
Breathing room. 
If I said I'm, you know, I'm I'm

1149
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:04,400
I'm going to do something else 
crazy like I, I don't know, read

1150
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,720
a book every day, like I failed 
one day. 

1151
00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:11,120
OK, I'm not going to go anymore.
Like the negative roll on effect

1152
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,120
from that is that it's not 
sustainable. 

1153
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:17,960
So like be a little bit more, 
shrink your goal or rescore, 

1154
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,320
plan better on your goal. 
Because you, you hear everyone 

1155
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,240
shoot for the stars and then if 
you don't get there, at least 

1156
00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:26,760
you've gone so far. 
And I, I sort of, I, I disagree 

1157
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,800
in a way. 
I think shoot for something 

1158
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,440
slightly outside the comfort 
zone because then it's more 

1159
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,520
achievable and it will set you 
up for the next one. 

1160
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,360
What does David Goggins get 
wrong about mindset? 

1161
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,800
I think he's, he's built 
different to anyone else. 

1162
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:46,600
I know that guy. 
I think he, like, I think again,

1163
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,720
trauma plays a massive part on 
what we do in our output. 

1164
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,880
And he's, I've read, I think 
half of his book. 

1165
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,960
That guy has got a tough, ugly 
upbringing. 

1166
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:00,760
He's riddled full of it. 
Is probably is to get the demons

1167
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:04,840
out of his mind where like you 
don't have to be David Goggins 

1168
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:08,360
to just be better. 
But like if you Chuck David 

1169
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,640
Goggins on YouTube, the high 
chances are you probably want to

1170
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,600
go for a run after it. 
But I don't know man. 

1171
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,320
I'd love to hear your opinion. 
David Goggins. 

1172
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:19,520
I love it. 
I think he's he's a bit sort of 

1173
00:55:19,720 --> 00:55:21,440
is it chalk and cheese? 
Not chalk and cheese. 

1174
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,520
What's the term where you even 
love him or he's a bit Marmite? 

1175
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,280
I heard David Goggins is a bit 
Marmite. 

1176
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,440
I think I personally love him 
and the people who don't like 

1177
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:35,800
him. 
I think it's just because that 

1178
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,720
message doesn't resonate with 
them because there's millions of

1179
00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:42,520
people that need to hear what 
he's saying about no excuses, 

1180
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,960
get out there and do it. 
He carries a good message. 

1181
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,520
1,000,000 tens of million people
cannot be wrong. 

1182
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,960
Like if it resonates with them, 
but then there are people that I

1183
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:52,440
don't, I think they just don't 
want to hear it. 

1184
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,640
I think there's there's a lot of
ego in people don't like to 

1185
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,160
admit that they're wrong. 
And there was a time I bought 

1186
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:00,800
all his books. 
I've done all his like 

1187
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,440
challenges. 
It's 44 by 4 by 48 and stuff 

1188
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:04,440
like that. 
I love it. 

1189
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,320
It's just 0 excuses and stuff 
like that. 

1190
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,520
I think it just says a lot about
you as a person. 

1191
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:14,080
You, you thrive. 
You thrive in like someone 

1192
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:15,400
calling you out in your 
bullshit. 

1193
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,120
The reality is we all 5 in 
someone calling us out in our 

1194
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:20,760
bullshit. 
It's just some people like you 

1195
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:21,760
just said, don't want to hear 
it. 

1196
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:24,560
And that's the ones who don't 
change, unfortunately, the ones 

1197
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,240
who are constantly playing 
victim of my life. 

1198
00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:28,680
You don't understand, Terry, 
this happened to me. 

1199
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,960
You don't understand. 
They like got that bitterness to

1200
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:33,640
them. 
They got that sadness. 

1201
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:37,840
They got this guilt about them. 
And I just think it's it's just 

1202
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:42,280
not, it's not healthy to carry 
that anchor of negativity with 

1203
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:43,680
you. 
But I'm a big fan of David 

1204
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:44,840
Goggins. 
I like what he does. 

1205
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,840
And hey, man, he's making our 
world better and he wants 

1206
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:52,840
better. 
But like, yeah, I just, yeah, I 

1207
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:55,120
don't have to explain it, but I 
just, I think people need to 

1208
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:59,920
need to buy into it more, need 
to buy into his into him more 

1209
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:03,480
and what he does. 
And he's got, he's got some 

1210
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,200
people out of holes in their 
life. 

1211
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,840
Do you know? 
What I mean, Oh, so yeah, I'm 

1212
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,520
I'm a big fan of him. 
I like, I like Jordan Peterson. 

1213
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,520
I like, you know, some people 
hate that Andrew Tate. 

1214
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,800
I think he says OK, some OK 
stuff, not all of it. 

1215
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,880
Yeah, I'm a big fan of more. 
I like Tony Robbins, but yeah, 

1216
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,160
cool people. 
Yeah, I like Jordan Peterson. 

1217
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,400
Big fan of him as well. 
And even Andrew Tate. 

1218
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,360
I think when he first came onto 
the scene, I was listening to 

1219
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:31,960
him. 
I was like, he's actually right.

1220
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:36,120
Like, you know, like I'd say I, 
I liken it to like when you like

1221
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,840
a band, you don't like all their
songs. 

1222
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,640
You think, oh, that song's a bit
naff actually. 

1223
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,760
And it's sort of like with 
Andrew Tate, I was like, he 

1224
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,920
speaks a lot of sense and he 
actually motivated me to do 

1225
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:47,800
things. 
But I remember there, there was 

1226
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,640
a few things where I was like. 
Oh God, He. 

1227
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:50,600
He's, he. 
He. 

1228
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:54,000
He was changing how I I felt 
about certain things and I was 

1229
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:55,920
like, oh, I don't like this. 
So I gave him a rest for a bit, 

1230
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,080
like and. 
Do you have to agree with 

1231
00:57:58,080 --> 00:57:59,760
everyone what they say though? 
No. 

1232
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:02,040
You don't agree with everything 
that I say, and I might not 

1233
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:03,760
agree with everything that you 
say, but I can still like you. 

1234
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:05,720
Yeah. 
I, I think we, we're in that 

1235
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:07,320
sort of black or white culture 
now, aren't we? 

1236
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,160
If you say one thing wrong, 
well, counsellor and stuff like 

1237
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:11,800
that and it's it, I don't think 
that's the case. 

1238
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:16,880
You can still, you know, Jimmy 
Savile had a few funny things as

1239
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:17,960
well. 
That's a joke. 

1240
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,720
That's a joke. 
That's a joke like that. 

1241
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,280
But at the same time right now, 
like off that topic slightly of 

1242
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,240
Jimmy Savile, but like there's 
this thing right now, like 

1243
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:31,120
Jesus, let's say, like religious
or not, Jesus went around curing

1244
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:33,400
people, doing miracles, doing 
good things around the world. 

1245
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:38,280
People still hated him so and he
died on the cross in order to 

1246
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,840
that. 
But who says, why do you think 

1247
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:44,040
you're so great that you can't 
get criticized even if you do 

1248
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:47,080
good? 
Like I'm going to get 

1249
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:51,120
criticized, but I'm, but I 
believe that we can still put 

1250
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:54,480
ourselves out there and promote 
whatever we're passionate about 

1251
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,840
and be OK that not everyone's 
going to like it. 

1252
00:58:56,840 --> 00:59:01,480
And then once we realise that, 
like you'll do far greater with 

1253
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,400
whatever it is you've got, 
whatever skill set you've got, 

1254
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,400
you'll do far greater if you can
accept that. 

1255
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,960
Yeah, I think if you, if it's an
indicator of actually your 

1256
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,440
message getting out there, if 
you're receiving hate, it means 

1257
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:12,280
you're getting out there. 
It means more people are seeing 

1258
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,360
you, which is actually a 
positive thing because there's 

1259
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:16,040
going to be people that love you
as well. 

1260
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:18,120
Let's have a look where we are 
here. 

1261
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:22,000
What's the difference between 
accountability and then just 

1262
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:27,320
being hard on yourself? 
Yeah, yeah, definitely. 

1263
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:33,000
It's like some people thrive in 
self pain. 

1264
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,840
They feel like you need to feel 
pain in order to achieve. 

1265
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,480
And I think that I felt that as 
well with with sports after 

1266
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,200
injuries and running around in 
aches and pains all the time and

1267
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:46,160
like thinking this was a sign of
success, but like it was not. 

1268
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:48,760
It was like self pain. 
I was creating my own pain. 

1269
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,360
But I think accountability is 
great. 

1270
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,080
You know, accountability, like, 
right, I want to achieve this. 

1271
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:54,440
Let's set a goal out and let's 
work our way backwards. 

1272
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:57,160
And I'm going to check in with 
Terry every so often to be like 

1273
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,960
where I'm at. 
Have I drifted? 

1274
00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:00,960
Am I still on goal? 
That's great accountability. 

1275
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:05,280
But then like creating pain all 
the time is not great. 

1276
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:10,600
But this is contradicting again.
But you need a level of pain to 

1277
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,520
build resilience, to build 
calluses like David Gottlins has

1278
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,080
on his mind. 
Like you can't be going around 

1279
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:20,720
living in comfort all the time. 
You've got to be in discomfort, 

1280
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,840
which is pain to an extent. 
But like when you did this 

1281
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:29,440
cycle, there was a lot of pain 
that you had to endure, but you 

1282
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,240
wouldn't have done any more pain
if you needed to. 

1283
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:32,520
Like you knew where the line 
was. 

1284
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,800
There's probably days where your
hamstrings are in bits or your 

1285
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:36,800
arse is in bits on the seat or 
your calves are gone. 

1286
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,760
There was pain that you had to 
endure, but you knew at the end 

1287
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,200
of it when it ended. 
This done then I'm not going to 

1288
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:45,560
put myself in more pain. 
Not necessary I suppose, as soon

1289
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:47,760
as it becomes at the detriment 
of what you're trying to 

1290
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,560
achieve, like needless pain. 
I see it all the time. 

1291
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,600
Like I've got a friend who does 
it all the time. 

1292
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:56,280
He's does these mega challenges 
and it's almost like he gets the

1293
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,920
word from the challenge in how 
much It's like it's supposed to 

1294
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,800
be hard, I'm supposed to be in 
pain. 

1295
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:06,560
But then he quite often gets 
injured or suffers, maybe with 

1296
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:09,440
burnout mentally, and there is a
line. 

1297
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,920
What does he, what does he get 
when? 

1298
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,880
What does he achieve out of it? 
When he gets all of these 

1299
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,960
things, does he get? 
What does he achieve? 

1300
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:21,160
He achieves injury. 
He achieves not being in his 

1301
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,280
mental well-being, not being in 
a good place and stuff like 

1302
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,160
that. 
But it's it's, I think he has 

1303
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:27,960
actually had to have a word of 
himself in recent times to sort 

1304
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,280
of rein it back in and 
understand that you don't have 

1305
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:33,800
to flog yourself in order for it
to be valuable. 

1306
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:37,040
What about motivation? 
Motivation versus discipline. 

1307
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,440
Motivation is to start in. 
It is the excite. 

1308
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:41,240
Is that what it is? 
But what is the difference and 

1309
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,400
which one's better? 
Motivation feels good. 

1310
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,120
Discipline is not a feeling. 
Discipline is doing it when you 

1311
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,760
don't want to do it. 
Discipline is like showing up 

1312
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:52,600
when your mind and your body is 
like, I just don't want to be 

1313
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,200
here today. 
That's discipline. 

1314
01:01:55,480 --> 01:02:00,120
And that's like massive for 
success, goals, achievement 

1315
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:03,320
things because that's when 
you're out of out of discomfort,

1316
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,040
when you're out of that pain. 
But motivation is like, you 

1317
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:09,160
know, hey, let's, let's do a 
marathon. 

1318
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,560
Yeah. 
While we're sitting on the sofa 

1319
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:13,880
booking it, feeling comfy. 
Yeah. 

1320
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,160
Well, Terry, me and you, now 
we're going to train three times

1321
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:17,720
a week when we're going to run. 
Yeah. 

1322
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,200
Hey, cool. 
I'm going to buy some new shoes.

1323
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:20,720
I'm excited. 
The motivation's there. 

1324
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:24,920
And then week 3 comes and I'm 
tired. 

1325
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,440
I'm, I'm my calves are a bit 
tight. 

1326
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,200
I don't feel like running today,
but I've got to show up. 

1327
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:33,600
That's discipline, but the 
motivation was just before that.

1328
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:35,760
And motivation will never get 
you to your goal. 

1329
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:38,680
And it's you see, with so many 
people, I call them like the 

1330
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:41,360
sprinters of the season. 
They're like the sprinter 

1331
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:43,160
personalities. 
They're all in guys. 

1332
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:45,280
I'm all in at the moment. 
I'm eating better, I'm training 

1333
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:46,200
better. 
This aren't the other. 

1334
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,120
They've got that energy. 
They've just had that new year, 

1335
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:49,640
new me. 
PS come over them again. 

1336
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,320
And then they're like 
motivations wore off. 

1337
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:55,680
Now those shoes ain't that nice 
anymore. 

1338
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,240
I'll tell you what, I'm just 
going to going to do this 

1339
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:01,600
instead. 
Discipline is like seeing the 

1340
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,680
goal and being able to being 
able to do it without feeling 

1341
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:06,520
like doing it. 
How do you become discipline 

1342
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,800
then? 
Is it is it more of a mindset 

1343
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:13,840
thing or is it more of something
in the real world with we talked

1344
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,280
about sort of creating less 
friction? 

1345
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:19,360
Can you make discipline easier? 
What is it and how do you get 

1346
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,600
discipline? 
There's a great book by James 

1347
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,240
Cleo's Really easiest for BLOB's
Atomic Habits. 

1348
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:28,120
So Building Habits is really 
good, but it's like building 

1349
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:30,000
blocks. 
It's like really breaking it 

1350
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,200
down. 
Like, OK, I want to, I'm not 

1351
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,840
going to be able to run a 
marathon right now, but if I 

1352
01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:40,440
start to incorporate low levels 
of training to build that, build

1353
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:44,120
those blocks, I can start to 
build, you know, consistency 

1354
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:48,480
again, start to see some change 
physically, mentally, and I'm 

1355
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:51,080
just building more confidence as
I go along. 

1356
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:55,000
Yeah, it's just consistency over
a long, long time, long, long 

1357
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,520
period of time instead of just 
trying to get a quick fix, quick

1358
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:02,440
thing, just building discipline 
is small habits and slowly 

1359
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:06,000
increasing them over time and 
taking bad habits off your plate

1360
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,360
as you go along. 
Don't, don't put everything on 

1361
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:09,480
at once. 
It'll fall off. 

1362
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:11,800
I agree with that totally 
because I think people can 

1363
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,480
change their whole lives around,
can't they? 

1364
01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:14,560
When they're trying to achieve 
it, right? 

1365
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:15,840
I'm going to do that, do 
everything. 

1366
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:17,840
And then again, it's not 
sustainable. 

1367
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,200
But if you, if you're just 
changing little things, talk 

1368
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,160
about the James Clear habits, 
then what did you get from that 

1369
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:25,240
book? 
Well, like it's like just like 

1370
01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:27,480
little things. 
I laugh about it every day was 

1371
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,200
like in front of my laptop 
working and like every day I've 

1372
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:34,560
been amazing at drinking water, 
but I'm like I didn't have my 

1373
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:39,680
1.5 liter bottle next to me. 
So the the the thought of me 

1374
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:43,160
going to go buy one at the shop 
was friction. 

1375
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,720
So I didn't bother to get the 
water and I didn't drink a lot 

1376
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:49,560
of water that day, which annoyed
me because I know how important 

1377
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:52,040
hydration was, right? 
So James Gear talks about how 

1378
01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:55,480
like, you know, for instance, if
you want to start implement new 

1379
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,040
habits, you've got to put them 
everywhere around you. 

1380
01:04:57,040 --> 01:05:00,000
It's like put a bottle of water 
in every room and fill up a 

1381
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:01,520
water. 
And every time you look at it, 

1382
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:05,720
you subconsciously go, ah, water
drink, bang. 

1383
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:08,160
OK, I want to start to go to the
gym. 

1384
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:11,680
OK, well, the night before I go 
to the gym, I'm going to just 

1385
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:13,960
put the shoes and the clothes on
the floor, the ready. 

1386
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:16,640
So then when I get out of bed, I
kind of trip up over the running

1387
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:20,000
shoes. 
They go, oh, gym kit shoes, put 

1388
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,880
it on. 
And it's the same concept. 

1389
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:28,120
Then with life Business, like 
every day, if I need to get in 

1390
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:32,920
front of five new clients every 
day, OK for me, I have to, I 

1391
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,440
either put in my calendar or 
I've got like a white board on 

1392
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,320
my wall, but I have to write 
down it won't happen. 

1393
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:39,640
And I'm like, remind him, take 
it off every day. 

1394
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:41,640
I'm building habits in my 
business. 

1395
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:43,160
I'm building habits in my 
personal life. 

1396
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:46,240
I'm building habits for my 
partner date nights, whatever it

1397
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:47,640
is. 
But like if I literally put it 

1398
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:51,960
in front of my face, it's just 
it's there all the time until 

1399
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:53,520
this habit becomes like brushing
your teeth. 

1400
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:55,480
Like you don't even you don't 
remember brushing your teeth or 

1401
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,040
you don't remember driving the 
car to the wherever you went one

1402
01:05:58,040 --> 01:05:59,880
day because it's autopilot if 
you was normalized. 

1403
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:02,640
That's what we instill the 
habits, but it's don't. 

1404
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:04,360
My advice would be don't do 1000
at one. 

1405
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,040
Just do one habit at a time and 
then another habit, and then 

1406
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:09,960
you'll just slowly get there. 
That's what I found because I, I

1407
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,640
don't think I'm a very 
disciplined person, especially 

1408
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:17,680
when it's hard things. 
But what I can do is remove the 

1409
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:20,240
friction to do those things that
I want to be disciplined. 

1410
01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:23,040
And it is like putting your gym 
kit out or something like that. 

1411
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:25,960
Or, you know, if it, if it's 
eating healthy food, it's making

1412
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:27,760
sure I eat meal prep and stuff 
like that. 

1413
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:31,400
So I'm not disciplined. 
I know I'm not, I'm, I'm very 

1414
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,720
quick to be pulling out the ice 
cream from the freezer. 

1415
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:36,080
But if I don't have that ice 
cream, then I'm not going to be 

1416
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:38,880
doing it. 
Or it's I found I can make 

1417
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:43,440
myself better at discipline by 
making discipline easy. 

1418
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:45,800
And I think that there's a 
preconceived notion about 

1419
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:47,600
discipline. 
It's, it's about almost your 

1420
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:49,800
mental toughness in order to get
out there and do it. 

1421
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:51,880
And it's like, no, it's nothing 
to do with mental toughness. 

1422
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:55,800
It's about making the task 
you've got to do so easy, so 

1423
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:57,880
easy that it's really easy to 
do. 

1424
01:06:57,880 --> 01:06:59,960
That's what I found. 
Reduce, reduce the friction like

1425
01:06:59,960 --> 01:07:02,240
you just said. 
Yeah, it's really funny, right? 

1426
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:03,480
There's another one. 
People says, oh, you don't 

1427
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,680
understand, I've got ADHD and 
like, oh, so you diagnosed and 

1428
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:08,240
like, no, no, but I think I've 
got ADHD. 

1429
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:09,800
This is the buzzwords at the 
moment, isn't it? 

1430
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:12,360
And like TikTok told, yeah, like
someone on TikTok told me this. 

1431
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:14,440
And then they just forget. 
Like they're like, that's the 

1432
01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:16,080
reason they forget things or 
that's the reason. 

1433
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:20,000
But like literally put things on
a calendar, put things, set 

1434
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:23,840
reminders on your phone, like 
set your whiteboard up and even 

1435
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:28,320
like down to like one thing that
I was bad at was, and this is 

1436
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:32,120
literally reducing the friction 
was So if you said Ollie, like, 

1437
01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:34,760
let's go for a coffee on Friday 
and I will yeah, no worries. 

1438
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:38,360
And then I'd leave uncle. 
Oh, fuck, when Friday comes, 

1439
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:41,520
like I can't be asked. 
Oh, actually, I've actually got 

1440
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:43,400
plans on that day. 
But I don't want to tell him 

1441
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,520
because I don't want to upset 
him because I want to be I'm a 

1442
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:48,840
people pleaser. 
Well, I got into the habit doing

1443
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:51,080
reducing the friction was going 
to be if you said that to me, 

1444
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,720
let's have a coffee on Friday. 
I'd be like, OK, two cents. 

1445
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,440
Let me just look at my calendar,
RIP my calendar out. 

1446
01:07:56,680 --> 01:07:59,040
And then I'd have something on 
that day and I'd be like, oh, 

1447
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:02,280
look, I'm busy, sorry. 
So if I struggle to say no to 

1448
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:05,160
you, I've got a reason I can say
no instead of just saying it 

1449
01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:07,800
because I'm it's too confronting
at the moment. 

1450
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:11,600
I can build blocks again, I 
suppose discipline to get that 

1451
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:17,479
answer out and and then be like,
however, I'm free this date if 

1452
01:08:17,479 --> 01:08:19,279
you want to grab which is more 
is better for me. 

1453
01:08:19,279 --> 01:08:21,479
So I'm not shutting you down. 
I'm just an alternative. 

1454
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:25,600
And it just reduces the friction
of people pleasing prioritizing 

1455
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:27,439
yourself. 
Rather than just saying yes, I 

1456
01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:29,760
think we're all guilty of that, 
just say yes and then it's like,

1457
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:31,800
oh shit. 
Yeah, say yes to this. 

1458
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,200
It's so much easier to say yes 
and no. 

1459
01:08:33,399 --> 01:08:36,120
It's like wow, because. 
You're not disappointing someone

1460
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:38,920
and there's a feeling inside you
don't want to let people down, I

1461
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:40,800
guess, but then you're getting 
yourself in a pickle. 

1462
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:44,720
What's something you used to 
believe about success that you 

1463
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:48,640
no longer agree with? 
I thought money would make me 

1464
01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:52,279
feel successful. 
And there was a, it's like that 

1465
01:08:52,279 --> 01:08:55,240
saying, you know, you climb up 
the ladder of a building only to

1466
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,800
realise the lookout from the top
wasn't what you expected. 

1467
01:08:58,279 --> 01:09:01,840
And I think you realise the 
success can come in many ways. 

1468
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:05,359
But you said it earlier, the 
success of children, the success

1469
01:09:05,359 --> 01:09:09,000
of a beautiful partner, having a
roof over your head, that's 

1470
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:11,560
success. 
Having gratitude every day, 

1471
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,200
that's success. 
And it sounds a bit hokey pokey 

1472
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:18,680
or tree huggerish, but having a 
drive for success in a in a 

1473
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:20,760
business or in a career is 
amazing. 

1474
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:25,279
But I think being a being a good
person is a far greater one. 

1475
01:09:25,279 --> 01:09:28,560
Like if you've got success 
financially, but you're a prick 

1476
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:31,240
to everyone and you've chopped 
everyone's legs down on the way 

1477
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:33,880
up, like you're you're probably 
a piece of shit. 

1478
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,399
Yeah, no, exactly. 
I think, I think that's bang on.

1479
01:09:36,399 --> 01:09:39,200
Like it's as I said on your 
deathbed, no one's going to 

1480
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:41,640
remember if you made director at
the finance firm or anything 

1481
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,279
like that. 
It's about the people and the 

1482
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:45,439
relationships and the family 
that you have round with you. 

1483
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:49,960
And that's, that's the real 
wealth of life, in my opinion. 

1484
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:54,160
What's one small change that 
would improve most people's 

1485
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:56,920
lives immediately that they 
could make right now? 

1486
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,280
Write things. 
Write three things down you're 

1487
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:04,160
grateful for every day, every 
morning when you wake up, just 

1488
01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:06,160
write three things down. 
And I know that's, again, you 

1489
01:10:06,480 --> 01:10:08,440
probably want the magic pill 
number thing. 

1490
01:10:08,440 --> 01:10:10,120
Then write that down. 
That'll be like the simple thing

1491
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:13,600
I tell someone to do. 
Send a text message to your 

1492
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:14,800
friend. 
Tell them why. 

1493
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:17,920
Tell them that you know 
something that you notice about 

1494
01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:18,800
them. 
They're doing really well. 

1495
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:23,200
Let them know, because selfless 
acts bring selfish measures. 

1496
01:10:23,440 --> 01:10:25,760
So doing something such amazing 
like that to someone else, 

1497
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,680
making their day start better, 
will bring so much joy to your 

1498
01:10:28,680 --> 01:10:33,560
life. 
Journaling is big. 

1499
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:37,160
I think having a purpose, 
finding out what your purpose 

1500
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:43,560
is, yeah, that would probably be
like the most simplest act to 

1501
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,320
do. 
Or even easier, just get around 

1502
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:51,160
good people. 
Get on good people, get around 

1503
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:52,520
people. 
When you leave an area, an 

1504
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:56,120
environment that you feel, feel 
like, wow, that was an impactful

1505
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,000
conversation. 
Wow, that wow, like, that's, 

1506
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:01,240
that's awesome. 
Not around the people who shame 

1507
01:11:01,240 --> 01:11:07,280
you for, like being open or 
being capable to express 

1508
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:11,120
emotions and express who you are
in a authentic way. 

1509
01:11:11,120 --> 01:11:15,000
Don't shame you for that. 
Or like, yeah, I'm rabbiting 

1510
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:17,200
now, but yeah, no. 
You know who those people are as

1511
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:18,880
well. 
You know the people that when 

1512
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:22,360
you hang around with them, you 
leave feeling bigger than you 

1513
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,640
were before. 
You know, you know exactly and 

1514
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:27,320
you know who the people that you
hang around with that suck the 

1515
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,680
life out of you. 
And it's so important. 

1516
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:31,320
I like the one about the text as
well. 

1517
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:34,520
And I urge everyone listening to
this now, please exercise that 

1518
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,400
text me how much value you get 
from myself. 

1519
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,520
Like you'll feel so much. 
Better for it. 

1520
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:43,680
That's good. 
Definitely do that. 

1521
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:47,640
It's yeah, like honestly, like 
if if anyone's listening this 

1522
01:11:47,640 --> 01:11:51,280
now and I said to them, think of
one person who drags you down, 

1523
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,400
their face will pop in front of 
their head. 

1524
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:56,120
The thought of no The Who they 
are would come straight to their

1525
01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:58,360
mind who it is. 
They know exactly who it is. 

1526
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:01,720
Ben, Ben, Ben. 
Get rid of them. 

1527
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:07,080
Ollie. 
What's how do people, if people 

1528
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:08,600
want to get your services 
because you said you're a 

1529
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:11,400
mindset coach, if they want to 
follow you, you've got a podcast

1530
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:12,720
as well. 
Really cool podcast. 

1531
01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:15,600
Where do people find you? 
No that, darling, no. 

1532
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:18,880
Yeah, for first of all, man, I 
want to say thank you. 

1533
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:20,680
For, for, for, for asking me to 
come on. 

1534
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:21,800
This is amazing. 
Like a night. 

1535
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:24,360
I've been watching your podcasts
and seeing your reels and 

1536
01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:27,240
they're awesome. 
I'm even amazed that I didn't 

1537
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:29,680
know about the world's largest 
GPS cock and ball, but frankly. 

1538
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,040
I'm amazed you didn't know about
it as well. 

1539
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:32,120
Like, come on, it was 
everywhere. 

1540
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,440
But I like you more as a person 
too. 

1541
01:12:34,480 --> 01:12:36,880
There we are. 
See, that makes me feel proud. 

1542
01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:40,720
They're so good. 
And then but yeah, how define me

1543
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:43,160
is just I think it's all the 
under score old one on 

1544
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:45,480
Instagram. 
And we actually I love you to 

1545
01:12:45,480 --> 01:12:46,240
come. 
If available. 

1546
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:50,680
We have our first mastermind 
event of this year on the 13th 

1547
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:55,080
of Feb, which is 1/2 a day event
on how to build more freedom, 

1548
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:57,560
energy and income without losing
this shit. 

1549
01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,560
That's the the event. 
Yeah. 

1550
01:13:00,560 --> 01:13:02,080
Just Ollie Olds, man. 
Ollie Olds. 

1551
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:03,000
Yeah, and. 
If. 

1552
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:05,880
They want to work with me. 
You can go on my website and ask

1553
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:10,080
to jump on a clarity calling me,
but puff man man, I'm blessed to

1554
01:13:10,080 --> 01:13:12,520
be honest with you. 
Thank you very much. 

1555
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:15,520
We'll be following you. 
I'll have I'll check in my diary

1556
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:17,520
as we recommend it. 
I'll go in my diary. 

1557
01:13:17,520 --> 01:13:20,160
Oh, I'm sorry I'm busy that day.
But no, I'll have a little look.

1558
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:20,960
I'll have a look. 
Definitely. 

1559
01:13:20,960 --> 01:13:22,200
No, I'll have a look. 
I loved you. 

1560
01:13:22,200 --> 01:13:24,040
There's a seat available for you
is in Bridgend. 

1561
01:13:24,360 --> 01:13:29,240
It's in Bridgend Harrison Hotel,
13th of Feb from 8:00 AM till 

1562
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:33,400
12:00 PM and we got guest Josh 
Navidi there as well. 

1563
01:13:33,480 --> 01:13:35,840
Our big Josh, Yeah, I know big 
Josh as well there. 

1564
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:36,680
Cool. 
Awesome. 

1565
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:38,880
I'll see you then. 
And yeah, get on following guys.

1566
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,120
Thank you very much. 
Cheers all please. 

1567
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,160
Cheers. 
Congratulations, you made it to 

1568
01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:45,480
the end of the episode. 
If you found value in it, please

1569
01:13:45,480 --> 01:13:47,360
leave us a review or drop us a 
comment below. 

1570
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:49,240
And to make sure you don't miss 
another one, make sure you 

1571
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:51,320
follow and subscribe. 
Thanks for watching. 

1572
01:14:44,750 --> 01:14:44,820
The.