1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:06,360 Welcome to Hello Me, It's Me, Vulnerable AFA podcast hosted by 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:09,040 Nikki D Lovely. That's really just her diary 3 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:12,160 disguised as a podcast, but who cares, you're here for it. 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,760 Join in as she addresses herself, reflections on life, 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,880 love and dating, and gives us all the tea by being more 6 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,960 vulnerable than she ever has with herself and the world. 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,600 So let's get started in today's episode with Nikki D Lovely 8 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:38,960 already in progress. Welcome to another episode of 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,800 Ella Me. It's me, vulnerable again. 10 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:47,840 I'm very late diagnosed ADHD, one of those gifted students 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,720 that doesn't like to be put in a box. 12 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:55,040 Anyway, welcome to the podcast. I apologize for being away. 13 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,240 I'm here now. Let's talk about transition. 14 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,240 Just that was a horrible transition. 15 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,920 Let's talk about transitioning because I feel like a lot of 16 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,240 people don't understand that your entire life you are 17 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,320 transitioning. I'll hear people say, you know, 18 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,640 I'm in a transitional stage right now. 19 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,080 A lot of us are in transitional stages a lot of the times 20 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,080 because we are not linear. We change, we're constantly 21 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:23,000 changing. And for me right now, I'm in the 22 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,240 state of change because I have a lot of moving parts. 23 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,080 There are a lot of moving parts in my life right now. 24 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,120 I have a daughter who's going away to College in August. 25 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:36,320 I have another daughter who's, you know, doing a summer program 26 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:40,320 out of College in July. She asked me to go up there with 27 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:43,360 her and stay the entire time. Not at the dorm. 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,560 She's going to be at the college. 29 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,440 I'm just going to be like roaming around Boston and 30 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,720 checking out Connecticut and checking out Rhode Island 31 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,400 because I decided to fly her there. 32 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,720 And I was like, well, you know what? 33 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,760 I'm not working. I'm teaching. 34 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,520 I can hang out for a little while. 35 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:01,920 So I'll do that. Which which is funny because my 36 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,200 daughter is actually supposed to be spending time with her dad 37 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:09,440 this summer. And at one point she was 38 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,440 supposed to then go live with him. 39 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:16,120 This was a decision that she and her father made earlier in the 40 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,640 year. I asked her if that was 41 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:18,800 something she really wanted to do. 42 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,920 She said it was. He had gotten a stable job. 43 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,880 He was actually paying child support, which I haven't seen in 44 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:32,560 eight, about 8 years. He was doing all the things that 45 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,640 dad is supposed to do, right? And I was like, OK, cool. 46 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,800 Dad's finally getting his life together. 47 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,720 Dad's finally stepping up. I understand that sometimes, you 48 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,000 know, personal things happen and I won't get into his personal 49 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,560 life. But the same time I also 50 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:52,480 realized I've had a lot of personal stuff happen while 51 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,400 raising kids. It happens. 52 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,520 And we still have to be there for our kids. 53 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:01,520 And my daughter told me the other day, well, let me let me 54 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,240 say, let me back up a little bit before that, I stopped getting 55 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,360 child support payments. Just out of the blue. 56 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,720 I was like, huh, What's happening? 57 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,720 Are are they getting lost in the mail? 58 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,960 I contact the Child Support people and they're like, last 59 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,720 payment was in January. We don't really know what else 60 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,160 is happening. Basically like there's no money 61 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,560 coming in. So I asked my daughter, what's 62 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:26,160 going on with your dad? She goes, oh, apparently he's 63 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,600 having a midlife crisis. A midlife crisis, huh? 64 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,840 My whole entire life, my whole entire adult life has been in 65 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:37,480 crisis mode. My whole entire adult life has 66 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,840 been where I'm trying to maneuver through crisis and this 67 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:46,160 man is in a midlife crisis when I feel like his entire life has 68 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:50,560 been a freaking midlife crisis because I'm still managing. 69 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:55,400 And although he did still offer for her to come, you know, she 70 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,920 said he's talking about moving to Colombia or out the country. 71 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:04,320 And it it's like, OK, I was hoping she had someplace stable. 72 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,360 Like for me, I'm already in transition. 73 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,120 I don't need you in transition too. 74 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,840 I would rather her honestly just stay with my parents at this 75 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,360 point while I figure stuff out. At least she has a stable place. 76 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:20,519 But it just hurts my heart because again, I'm giving hope 77 00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:24,800 to something for someone who does not follow through. 78 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:29,840 And that brings a sense of disappointment, that brings a 79 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:34,560 sense of frustration because here I am having to adjust 80 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,520 again. I'm having to change up my plans 81 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,440 again and still feel like I'm responsible for everything. 82 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,360 You know, when they say that women can't be in their 83 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,120 feminine, it's because we're always in our masculine. 84 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,160 We're always putting the pieces together. 85 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,200 We're always sewing the threads back. 86 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:59,600 It's, it's tiring. Y'all being a single parent, 87 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,320 like the sole single parent because I'm not going to just 88 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,720 say it's just women, even though women single mothers do the bulk 89 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,760 of the work. I know there are some single 90 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:13,240 fathers who were just as giving in, just as tired of it being 91 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,200 one sided, like the one sided parenting. 92 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,920 It's just a lot and I hate getting to that point where I'm 93 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,920 coming out with a master plan and then it's like, OK, that 94 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,200 didn't work out, so now what are we doing? 95 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:32,120 I'm glad I'm healed to the point where I now take things with 96 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,640 stride. Like before, a monkey wrench in 97 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:43,880 my plan would have made me just go into the corner and like sulk 98 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,440 or like ball up or be like, Oh my goodness, what am I going to 99 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,480 do? The depression would hit. 100 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,680 I would still figure it out, but I don't think I would figure it 101 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:58,120 out with the same amount of conviction that I do now. 102 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,120 Like now I'm like, OK, cool. Oh, you want to throw this at me 103 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:01,840 again? Cool. 104 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,720 I've been here before. I can figure this out. 105 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,080 We can do it. I now have. 106 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,000 I do, I hate standing like this, but one thing about being let 107 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:15,400 down so much or so many times is realizing how you can cope with 108 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,080 that now. Like, now that's just your 109 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,280 thing. We're coping with this, right? 110 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,680 Like, I know what I'm doing. OK, cool. 111 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,080 Yeah. Shoot. 112 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,640 Give me the mop and a bucket. Let me what? 113 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,120 Wipe it up? I've seen this spill before. 114 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:34,200 The problem is, like, I want to do things differently. 115 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,840 I'm tired of being at the bottom of the totem pole for me. 116 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:44,560 I was hoping to use like the time to myself to be able to do 117 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,520 better for myself finally. But you know, at the end of the 118 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,760 day, I'm still mommy. I will always be mommy first. 119 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,520 My daughter really only has three more years and I know this 120 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,200 girl, she's going straight to college. 121 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,280 Like she doesn't even want to look back. 122 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,760 She she's going to be like, alright, put me in a dorm, find 123 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,800 my housing. She's already figuring out like 124 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,200 where she's applying. She's going to start applying in 125 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:14,760 two years, which means these next two years, this year, her 126 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,960 sophomore year and her junior year, she really needs to be 127 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,080 able to hone in. And as a mother, it is up to me 128 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,200 to make sure that she's able to do that. 129 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,920 So whatever I need to do, I guess if I can look at it like 130 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,360 that, whatever I need to do these next two years to just 131 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:36,920 make sure she's good and in a good place, then I'm OK with 132 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,920 doing that. I don't want to move her to a 133 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,320 place that has a worse school system, even if that means if I 134 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,400 move somewhere and I have to put her in private school. 135 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,000 But like, I would prefer to just stay public, you know, but a 136 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,480 good public school. I just need to make sure that 137 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,640 she is ready for, you know, Brown. 138 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,160 She wants to go to Brown. She wants to be a surgeon. 139 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,600 I need to make sure that I do whatever I can to help prepare 140 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:08,640 her for that, even if that means sacrificing myself just a little 141 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,680 bit for the next two years. And then after that, I'll figure 142 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,080 it out because let's just talk about even though everything 143 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,400 else is changing, the one thing that hasn't changed is the fact 144 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,280 that I've done my healing, I've grown emotionally, I've worked 145 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,400 on myself. And I'm not the same person who 146 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,480 used to handle stress for situations the same. 147 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,159 But I also realized, like in my past, I would settle for 148 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:37,880 mediocracy. I would settle for part time 149 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:42,159 gigs and jobs that didn't really fulfill me, just that would put 150 00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:46,880 money on the table that would get us by because at the same 151 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,760 time I wanted to be there emotionally for my children. 152 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,280 And I think my kids are at a point now where they don't need 153 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,400 me as much. Yes, my both of my daughters 154 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,720 still use me as their sounding boards and they still call me 155 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,680 and they want me to be around. But at the same time, it's also 156 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,120 that time for them to kind of branch off and do their own 157 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,640 thing and be a little bit more independent. 158 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:15,720 So I want them to do that, but and I also want more for my 159 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,680 life. So it's kind of like one of 160 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,760 those things where I still want to be there, but I also still 161 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,360 want to start branching out a little bit. 162 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,800 I think now is that time. As a single parent, I was always 163 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,920 afraid that because I didn't have that other person to take 164 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:34,960 the slack for me, I was always afraid to not be there for them. 165 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,680 My relationship with my girls is beautiful because I did that. 166 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:43,360 But now this stage of my life feels a little bit differently. 167 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,400 I think my priorities have changed a little bit more. 168 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:51,240 I know that now I want purpose. I know now I want joy, I want 169 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,000 something meaningful and I refuse to go backwards. 170 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,680 So I know life doesn't give us clean transitions and that and 171 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,320 that's how we started this about transitioning. 172 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,240 But sometimes that transition isn't always going to be clean. 173 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,440 And I thought this might give me like a little bit cleaner 174 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,440 transition, but I'm also not getting to the point where my 175 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,160 mind is mentally like putting all the pieces together. 176 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,240 Like, OK, we need to get your oldest in College in a couple of 177 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,040 months. We need to get your oldest a car 178 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,120 because she needs a car where she's going to be. 179 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,920 We need to get your stuff out of storage. 180 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,040 You need to find yourself a place. 181 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,080 You need to be stable. Your daughter needs to be 182 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,320 stable. Like these things are just like 183 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,560 kind of clicking and getting into the pieces where they need 184 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,200 to be. And I'm trying to make sure that 185 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:44,280 I'm doing what's best for me. And I think a lot of people can 186 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:48,920 kind of understand that, you know, we're all transitioning. 187 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,400 We're all transitioning into something. 188 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,400 There are times when we think we should be a certain place and we 189 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,880 aren't there. We think, well, everything 190 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:03,440 should have lined up perfectly by now, but life threw a 191 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,240 curveball and now you're realizing that transition always 192 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:13,080 doesn't look like how we would expect it to, and that sometimes 193 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,920 the transitions need to happen internally first. 194 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,920 And I think that's where I am right now, is realizing, OK, I 195 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:25,240 have to come to terms with this transition instead of fighting 196 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,760 it. I need to figure out what it is 197 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,480 I need to do to just make this an easier transition. 198 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,720 Sometimes you're not going to figure all the way out the first 199 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,400 time, but just as long as you allow yourself to sit with it 200 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,600 instead of running away from it. Because I promise you, there are 201 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,560 times where I was just like, damn, I just want to run away 202 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,160 from this. I don't even want to talk about 203 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,520 it. I just want to ball up. 204 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,360 But no, you have to face the fear. 205 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:52,040 If you don't face it, you'll never be able to overcome it. 206 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,400 You'll never be able to get over it. 207 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,920 And we need to get through this transition right now. 208 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,320 So if you're in the same place where I am, I just want you to 209 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,520 realize that plans can change, but that doesn't mean that you 210 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:09,520 can't still grow. Plans can change, and you can 211 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,600 still be allowed to want more for yourself. 212 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:18,280 Plans can change and you can still evolve how you want to 213 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,960 evolve. You're not waiting for the 214 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:26,240 perfect time anymore, and you're learning to Createspace for 215 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,160 yourself even when life doesn't go as planned. 216 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,240 So at the end of the day, life can change unexpectedly, but I 217 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,560 think what's most important is realizing that healing also 218 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:39,440 changes what you're willing to accept and how you handle 219 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,800 things. How transitions in the past 220 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,440 could once make you feel uncomfortable, but growth allows 221 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,000 you to realize that things aren't always going to be 222 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,240 perfect and that you can still choose yourself even when the 223 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,880 plans change, which is what I'm trying to do right now. 224 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,560 I'm still trying to choose myself and at the same time give 225 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:03,360 my kids exactly what they need. And it may be a hard transition, 226 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,680 but I always try to figure it out. 227 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,680 And my brain power is like, just stay positive. 228 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,160 We know we got this. I'm not allowing negative 229 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:19,360 thoughts and I'm trying to stay positive at all times. 230 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,880 I realize that I don't have everything figured out right 231 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,880 now, but I also know that I won't settle. 232 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,760 So I know that even though I don't have it figured out right 233 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:33,000 now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have it figured out as best 234 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,480 as I can because I know I want more and I'm willing to continue 235 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:42,600 to move forward. So this season is about figuring 236 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:47,280 out what Nikki wants. It's about choosing myself and 237 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:51,240 it's also about choosing growth because I think when you allow 238 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:55,840 yourself to kind of just roll with things but also have 239 00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:00,800 confidence in your abilities, you are choosing yourself every 240 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,920 time. And I think that's important. 241 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:04,800 It's something that you have to do. 242 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:09,200 So in the spirit of hello, me, it's me vulnerable as F. 243 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:17,280 And if it was future me talking to past me right now, me, I 244 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,800 would want to say no past me talking to future me. 245 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,840 I'm sorry. I want to say to my future self, 246 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:28,520 you got this, We got this. You have everything in you that 247 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:32,520 you need to figure out. Whatever it is you need to 248 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,480 figure out. You just have to stay the course 249 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,280 and you have to be 100% committed. 250 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:41,240 Keep the negative thinking out, keep rolling with the punches. 251 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,320 Keep believing in yourself. You've been here before, you've 252 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,600 done this before. And even if you, and I'm talking 253 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,600 to the listener to you right now, even if you've never done 254 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,000 this before, think about a time where you had a transition in 255 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,760 your life and you thought it may have been the end of the world. 256 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,640 And then it turned out good for you. 257 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,360 In that moment, that feeling of change was scary because you're 258 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:10,240 like, this is not how I planned it, but you still maneuvered 259 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,840 through it. Even if it was difficult, even 260 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,760 if it was hard, even if it made you cry, at the end of the day, 261 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,360 you still got through it. You're still here, you're still 262 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,960 standing. And the same is true for 263 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,920 whatever it is you're going through right now. 264 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:31,280 You can figure it out. You will figure it out. 265 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:35,560 You have figured it out. You're going to figure it out 266 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:40,840 again and the level to what you figured out is going to be in 267 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,600 how much you believe in yourself, how much confidence 268 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:49,000 you give to yourself, but also how much belief you can do 269 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,520 whatever it is you have determined yourself to do. 270 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,080 Give yourself that one thing you think you can't do. 271 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,720 And then I want you to shoot for it. 272 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,280 I want you to be like, I don't think I can make 100,000 273 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,040 followers. And then you're going to tell 274 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,720 yourself, I'm going to make 100,000 followers in four 275 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,600 months, which can't be done by the way I've seen it. 276 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,160 My oldest daughter just did it. So it's one of those funny 277 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,640 things where you're just like, there's no way I can do that. 278 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,640 And then to watch somebody do it and show you what's possible and 279 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,640 you see how it's done. And then you start surrounding 280 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,360 yourself with positivity. You start surrounding yourself 281 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,400 with people who also have confidence in themselves, which 282 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,880 is so funny because my daughters are me when I was their age. 283 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:35,120 Like the amount of confidence and almost to the almost a 284 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,120 little slight arrogance, 'cause there is a fine line, but still 285 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,760 watching that and be like, OK, that's the confidence I need. 286 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,520 That's a little bit of the arrogance I need in order to 287 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,720 keep going forward. And that's what you have to give 288 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,800 yourself. That's what I want you to do. 289 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,560 But I know me talking to future me. 290 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:58,600 I know that you're already there, that you have already 291 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:03,040 figured this out and that you have everything in you to do 292 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,680 whatever it is you put your mind to. 293 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,920 I know it, I know it, so I know I'm only going to see nothing 294 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,240 but good things from you. And I'm talking about you, my 295 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,920 future self. I'm talking to you, the 296 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,000 listener. You the listener who has all the 297 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,319 confidence to do everything that you need to do to get through 298 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:23,160 this transition. You got it, you got it. 299 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,640 And if you need any help, contact me, go through my link 300 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,320 and then set up a session so we can discuss it so we can talk 301 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,800 about it. Because I have faith in you. 302 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:38,240 I have faith in me, technically me talking to me and yeah, 303 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,200 that's all I gotta say about that. 304 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,440 Anyway, in the meantime, in between time, thank you guys for 305 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,640 coming through and listening. I know there are 1,000,000 306 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,440 places you could be. I know I'm I'm not always, I 307 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,080 don't always do a podcast regularly, but I do appreciate 308 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,400 when I do do a podcast that you are here for it. 309 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:02,480 So on that note, I like to say thank you for coming through and 310 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,800 until next time, I'll see you again. 311 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,080 All right, Bye. Thank. 312 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,720 You so much for joining me for another episode of Hello Me. 313 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,800 It's me with Nikki D Lovely. Just remember, you can't change 314 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,000 who you were yesterday, but you can always learn and grow to 315 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,000 become a better version of. Yourself today so. 316 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,280 Make sure you do the mental work today for the future you 317 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,240 tomorrow and I will see you next week. 318 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,120 And in the meantime, make sure that you check me out on my 319 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,560 Instagram at Nikki D Lovely. You can also. 320 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:36,040 Find me at nikkidlovely.com and check out my book, No F Boys 321 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,760 Allowed. That's a little shameless pluck. 322 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,600 But either way, I will see you guys next time. 323 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:41,320 And thanks again. Bye. 324 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,600 It's another one. Oh, it's another one. 325 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:48,440 Yeah. Yeah, it's another 1.