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OK, yeah, My name is Justin 
Blankenship. 

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And so we're going to begin. 
I was born and raised in in the 

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church. 
I guess they have a choice early

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on, but no, no, but overtime I 
made it my choice. 

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And so that's why I'm still 
here. 

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And y'all was blessed to, to 
have a family and parents that 

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put importance and significance 
on attending church and and 

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knowing the Lord. 
And you know, I had a 

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grandmother and a great 
grandmother. 

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So probably around 4th or 5th 
generation, maybe 5 so or our 

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songs will be 5 or 6. 
I can't have to go back and and 

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and think about it. 
But but yeah. 

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So yes, it's been a wonderful, 
wonderful, yeah, life in the 

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Lord and really blessed. 
And I guess so as far as you 

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want to start with how we met or
something or? 

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Yeah. 
Or if you don't mind, when what 

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age were you when you first got 
baptized and got the Holy Ghost?

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I think I was 8 or 9 when I 
first got baptized in the Holy 

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Ghost. 
It was at a children's 

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children's church revival or 
something like that. 

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Was a two or three night of. 
Them do that much more than do. 

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They no, and I remember where I 
was standing at, at the altar 

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and and then I think the next 
night is when they baptized a 

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few, a few of the kids that 
wanted to, and I want to say it 

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was I was 8 or 9. 
So yeah, about that age, I can't

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remember exactly. 
So they just kind of like it was

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a service where they just, they 
had the baptismal tank ready so 

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any kid who wanted it could. 
Yeah, that's cool. 

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Yeah, I think we'll sit up that 
way. 

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And it was the older styles 
you've seen where the baptism, 

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the baptistery, excuse me, was 
built into the wall behind the 

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stage, had the big window with 
some like paintings and stuff. 

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So, so, yeah, that's, that's my 
experience. 

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And I remember it very well 
because my dad was with me. 

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He took me to the back and we 
met the pastor and and had a 

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change of clothes and, and got 
in. 

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Yeah. 
So I just remember feeling, you 

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know, even at 8 or 9, just like 
just a fresh feeling, just 

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almost like just, I don't know, 
newness, you know, it's about 

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talks about newness of life. 
And that's a perfect way, you 

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know, way of explaining it to 
you. 

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Yeah, you're trying. 
My name is Brittany. 

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I started going to church 
actually with an aunt and uncle,

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and then we kind of had someone 
that stepped in to kind of 

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mother us that would take us 
here in Alabama. 

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So I got in church and got the 
Holy Ghost at around age 14. 

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And that's when I started coming
to church and I would go every 

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weekend. 
My aunt would pick us up and 

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take us to church and we would 
do youth stuff with them because

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they were youth leaders at their
church. 

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And then I've just been in 
church ever since. 

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OK, that's good, good 
leadership. 

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And then when, what, how, when 
did you guys, when did you guys 

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meet? 
Who, who, who reached out to the

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first person first? 
Let me ask that. 

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I think I know the answer, but 
I'll ask anyways. 

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Yeah, I was very shy. 
Very, very shy. 

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Yeah. 
So I think we have met a few 

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years before, probably as early 
as 2010, maybe at church 

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service, maybe like a sectional 
thing, sectional rally, youth 

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rally or something. 
But I was invited or asked to. 

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Yeah. 
So I was invited to be involved 

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in a youth ministry for a summer
in Smyrna, TN, which is put the 

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pastor Brother, Brother Sadler, 
Carlos Sadler. 

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And so I did a 2-3 months there 
in the summer, would drive on 

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the weekends, spend the weekend 
there and, and, and Middle 

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Tennessee and we do youth 
activities and Sunday would have

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you know, youth, you know, youth
Sunday school, if you will. 

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And we might have had a few 
Youth Services on Friday night 

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Youth Services or something like
that. 

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And it was maybe on a Sunday 
night because I, I would, I 

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would stay Sunday night to and, 
and then drive back to Athens. 

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So I'll spend the weekend there 
and drive back to Athens. 

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And so I would say a lot of 
Sunday, Sunday night services or

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most Sunday night services 
during that time. 

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And so I remember seeing 
Brittany one night in the 

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hallway. 
So I went to her and said, Hey, 

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how's it going? 
And she? 

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I pretty much said hi as I was 
still walking by and didn't pay 

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much attention. 
And so, you know, I knew her 

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family, her, her aunt and uncle.
I was at the church at the time.

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And so I asked, began to ask 
questions, you know, around that

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time about her and her Uncle 
Tony was filling me in. 

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And but I remember being on the 
platform that night, the same 

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night. 
And I think I told you this 

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00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:08,040
before playing the bass and 
remember just playing the bass 

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00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:14,640
but also eyeballing her. 
So you know what's funny? 

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00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,680
You, you don't remember this, 
but I do. 

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When I first started coming back
to Lifegate, and I'm telling how

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00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,120
many years ago, I was hanging 
out with Seth a lot. 

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00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,400
Seth was one of the ones who 
kind of like took me under his 

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wing when I first started coming
back. 

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And I forget what it was, but 
you were kind of, you came to 

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Lifegate a few times, but I 
don't think it was consistent. 

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00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,920
Well, there was one time you 
came and it was like a Wednesday

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night or something and Seth 
wanted to go get dinner. 

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So he kind of forced you to go 
get dinner. 

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And I was riding with Seth. 
So I rode in the backseat of the

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car while you and Seth were up 
there talking. 

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And I remember distinctly you 
first telling Seth about meeting

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Brittany at, at this service. 
And I, I distinctly remember, 

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and this is not me trying to 
give you bounty points, but I 

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distinctly remember you tell us 
that like along the lines of 

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like, Oh man, I this girl, she's
so pretty. 

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Like I can't wait to go talk to 
her. 

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Like, like he was bragging hard.
And the only reason why I knew 

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like I didn't know who you were,
but I did because I knew 

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00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,360
Kimberly, because Kimberly was 
going to school and I knew Dylan

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in the whole night. 
So I was like, Oh, it's another 

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her sister. 
But I remember that. 

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I remember that conversation and
I remember just being like, oh, 

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this dude's done falling in love
with this girl. 

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Yeah, well, you know, credit to 
Kimberly and Dylan for sure 

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because we we did 1 double date 
kind of just friends that they 

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help facilitate. 
So shout out to them. 

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Yeah, they like to take credit 
that they were pushing to get us

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together. 
But but yes, But yeah, that 

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night at the church, at the 
church in Smyrna, I, I kind of 

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made my mind up then. 
Yeah, I could tell. 

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Like I said, I could tell on 
that car. 

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Ride but it it wasn't until that
fall, really. 

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I think late that fall is when. 
You started coming to the church

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00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,520
in Alabama that I was going to. 
Yeah, I started showing up on 

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Sunday nights because, you know,
we don't have Sunday night 

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services. 
Here SO. 

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And, and I was working Sunday 
mornings too, at the time I was 

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working, having to work 
weekends. 

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So to try to get my church time 
in, yeah, add, add a bonus. 

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I was going to see her. 
But I know, I know at the time 

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of whenever it was that this car
ride happened, I know that you, 

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00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,600
you had just, you had just met 
her because you're like, oh, 

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00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,320
because I remember you telling 
Seth like, I'm, I'm going to, 

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I'm going to find out who's more
about this girl and I'm going to

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go talk to her. 
Like I remember that 

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00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,840
conversation because you know, 
Seth at that age, he was, he was

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00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,559
also like trying to, you know, 
we all were as guys. 

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00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,799
But here I am the backseat. 
I'm just hearing this whole 

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conversation like I don't know 
any of these people. 

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00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,720
I don't know where we're going, 
but I will say another cool 

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00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,760
thing because you mentioned it 
that you you played the bass at 

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00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,960
that church. 
One of the first memories I have

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00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,640
of you outside of that was at 
the old railroad bed church when

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00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,800
you first started coming to 
Lifegate and you said they said 

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00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,080
that you were going to be 
playing music. 

145
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,840
I was like, OK, cool. 
Justin Blankenship now Seth, now

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00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,520
he's getting a lot of talk here.
He talked you up big, but he was

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00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,760
like, he's like, oh man, this 
Justin guy, he do, he can play 

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00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,200
any instrument. 
It don't matter what you give 

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00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,760
him, he can play it. 
And I'm like, oh, that's, that's

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00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,880
kind of cool. 
And I didn't understand it until

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00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,840
they're like, oh, yeah, he's 
going to play the banjo. 

152
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:25,760
I was like, this dude can play 
the banjo. 

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00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,720
And sure enough, one of the 
songs he's played the banjo. 

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00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,280
Then he was like, I can play the
bass, the guitar, the piano, the

155
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,520
organ, everything. 
And I was like, wow, that's got 

156
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,240
to take some serious like 
musical talent. 

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00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,200
I mean, how many, how many 
instruments can you play? 

158
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,160
Totals. 
Can you count it? 

159
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:46,000
I think you about I think that's
about all you know, and and I 

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00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,280
did a poor and it's not me. 
It's not me being modest at all.

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00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,320
It's not false modesty. 
I did a very poor mentation of a

162
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:58,960
banjo because, you know, I had 
borrowed one maybe a summer or 

163
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:04,720
two before that time of a friend
of the family and it was a very 

164
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,600
the banjo probably was 50 years.
I'm just a very, very old banjo.

165
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,080
And so they allowed me to take 
it home because they just had it

166
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:16,400
in case. 
And so I just, you know, like we

167
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:20,040
always do when we get something 
new strings on it, we we play 

168
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:24,360
around with it and try to figure
out chords and, and so, yeah, so

169
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,600
I actually had to call the same 
family friend to get it back for

170
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,280
that, that church service. 
I remember that because I like I

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00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,240
said, I'll never get it sets 
like, Oh yeah, Justin can play 

172
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,960
anything. 
I was like, OK, cool, what's he 

173
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,040
going to play? 
He's like, he's going to play 

174
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,240
the banjo. 
I was like, well, you weren't 

175
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,040
kidding when you said anything. 
Like I wouldn't expected that, 

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00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,200
but it was cool. 
Ever since then, you know, you, 

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00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,320
you kind of coming in now, but 
I've always taken you as a very 

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00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,200
humble person, to be honest, as 
far as just when you play, you 

179
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,320
just thought I'd go in there and
just do your job, you know, and 

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00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,280
just just go. 
You don't don't make a noise or 

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00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,200
ruckus or anything like that. 
But I'd always appreciate that. 

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00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,040
But that was one of my first 
memories of you just 

183
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,080
specifically. 
Unfortunately, I don't have a 

184
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,680
lot of room to just because I 
think Justin brought you here, 

185
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:08,360
but I just figured I'd let you 
know. 

186
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,680
I was like, I was like, Justin 
won't remember this conversation

187
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,040
he had for Seth and he won't 
remember my first impression of 

188
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,520
him either. 
So I can go ahead and bring that

189
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,000
one out. 
Well, no, thanks for all that. 

190
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,760
Thanks for reminding me. 
I I vaguely remember that now 

191
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:22,880
because we were in his car, 
right? 

192
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,880
Yeah, you're right. 
I was in the front seat, 

193
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,920
passenger side, and you were in 
the back. 

194
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,960
I do remember that now, but I 
would have not remember that 

195
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:32,760
unless you. 
I think he took us. 

196
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,320
I think Seth had us all go to. 
I don't know if it was 

197
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:41,640
Applebee's or Logan's or 
something, but yeah, I was in 

198
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,880
his car and I because my parents
left and Seth was my taxi driver

199
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,960
everywhere at that time. 
I was going anywhere Seth was 

200
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,320
taking me or Colby was taking 
me. 

201
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,640
And so then, then that's when 
that conversation happened. 

202
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,320
I just remember thinking in my 
head, I was like, I don't know 

203
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,840
who this dude is. 
I don't know who this girl is, 

204
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,560
but I'm doing right now. 
This dude is enthralled. 

205
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,960
But whoever she is, wherever she
is. 

206
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,040
Oh, yeah, Like I said, I was 
that night, Yeah. 

207
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:09,520
I was thinking more about the. 
I was thinking more about, well,

208
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,160
how to say that I was thinking 
more of than just playing the 

209
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:17,200
bass that night. 
You're not the only person I've 

210
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,280
ever gone through that, I can 
tell you that. 

211
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,400
So yeah, by the way, I love 
Seth. 

212
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,520
I think we all do. 
So just want to give a shout out

213
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:29,400
to him because I've known him 
for know how long they first 

214
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,560
moved here. 
I can tell you he, he loves you.

215
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,240
I, he's bragged about you 
several times. 

216
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,200
And I think a lot of it comes 
down to, and I could be wrong 

217
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,080
and he might get on to me, he 
might ask me to cut it. 

218
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,560
But I think when everything had 
happened with his mother, it's, 

219
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,320
if I remember correctly, he 
mentioned that you, you reached 

220
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,760
out to him a lot and we're there
for him a lot. 

221
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,400
And I can tell you that he had 
mentioned that quite often, how 

222
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,680
that meant a lot to him. 
So I imagine that that 

223
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:58,720
friendship was kind of built on 
some pretty unfortunate but 

224
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,680
solid foundation there. 
Yeah, yeah, for sure. 

225
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,360
But you know, I love the 
Tessens. 

226
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,920
They're, you know, they're 
family. 

227
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,640
And so they mean a lot to us. 
That's all good. 

228
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,680
He'll yeah, maybe he'll get a 
crack and laugh out of that or 

229
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,560
something. 
But obviously it worked. 

230
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,000
Whatever you did worked because 
you won. 

231
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,080
So tell me how that all came to 
fruition when you finally were 

232
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,760
like, hey, let's, let's, let's 
to hang out. 

233
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,240
Well, it, I think it's, it was 
like, like I mentioned, it was 

234
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,360
facilitated through Kimberly and
Dylan. 

235
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:34,800
They were dating at the time. 
And then we got together one 

236
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,240
night and that's all she wrote, 
That's all she wrote. 

237
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:42,000
And then, you know, we just hang
out as friends and get to know 

238
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,480
each other and and then as time 
passed, became more serious and.

239
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,400
How long has it been for you? 
2 together. 

240
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,040
Well, total. 
How should have been a while? 

241
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:57,400
About 13 years, probably 12 or 
13 two. 1013 So yeah, almost 13 

242
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,840
years. 
Yeah, because I was about a year

243
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,960
and a half, maybe year and a 
half, maybe pushing two years 

244
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,320
before I met Brooke. 
When that kind of car 

245
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,240
conversation happens, I was 
like, I know it's got to be at 

246
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,200
least 12 years. 
So I. 

247
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,440
Just put up, just put up with me
for that long. 

248
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,680
But anyway, so Fast forward now 
we got 2 kiddos and how's that 

249
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,360
all going? 
It's going. 

250
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,120
That's about what you can say as
parents, is that it's going 

251
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,920
somewhere at least. 
I, I, I bring them up because, 

252
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,040
and I'll be honest here, and 
this is kind of one of the 

253
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,880
reasons I respect you guys a 
lot. 

254
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,760
But when it comes to kids, 
especially in today's day and 

255
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:50,200
age who are on on the spectrum, 
if I can say that it's kind of 

256
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,040
like taboo around people. 
I've never thought of it as that

257
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,360
way just cause to me it's like, 
I mean, we're all different in 

258
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,640
our own way. 
I think it's becoming more 

259
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,600
recognizable. 
That's why it's more common. 

260
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,600
I think it's always been there. 
Just now we recognize it. 

261
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:07,080
But for some reason a lot of 
people just, they deny it or 

262
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,120
it's taboo or whatever. 
And I just don't see the, I've 

263
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,480
never thought there was a reason
why just never made sense to me.

264
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,120
And obviously it's a subject 
that my mom is always loved just

265
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,160
because it's always, like I 
said, it's just people seem to 

266
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,840
not want to look at people the 
same way. 

267
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,200
And I don't think that should be
the case. 

268
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,960
And unfortunately, I think that 
happens sometimes, even in the 

269
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,280
church, maybe not specifically 
our church, but in church 

270
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,200
environments, people don't quite
understand people who have 

271
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,480
spectrum personalities or people
who are raising kids that are 

272
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,800
that way. 
And you guys have done an 

273
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,200
amazing job. 
And from what I hear, you're 

274
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,640
very vocal about being honest 
about it all. 

275
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,480
And, and I think that's just a 
huge thing. 

276
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,680
That's the kind of testimony 
that I think a lot of people 

277
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,080
need to hear to give them kind 
of like just reassurance that 

278
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:56,680
there's nothing wrong. 
There's nothing to, you know, be

279
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,080
upset about. 
I mean, it's just, it's just, 

280
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,400
it's just kids, you know what I 
mean? 

281
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,720
So I kind of wanted to get your 
perspective on all of that. 

282
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,800
And that's why, like I said, 
that's why my mom's here because

283
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,200
she knows way more about it than
I do. 

284
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,360
But it's a topic that needs to 
get out there. 

285
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,000
And I think people just need to 
just understand more about it. 

286
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,960
So if you would just enlighten 
me a little bit. 

287
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:26,480
Yeah. 
So our oldest, he is on the 

288
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:31,840
spectrum. 
He is mild, technically level 1,

289
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:36,120
but they give levels. 
It doesn't really mean much. 

290
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:40,040
It just means how so much 
support they may need going 

291
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,600
forward for like insurance 
purposes really. 

292
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:47,320
But just like everyone else, he 
does have struggles. 

293
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,960
His just are a little different 
sometimes. 

294
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:54,320
But I am very open about it 
because I feel like some people 

295
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,800
are afraid to get their children
tested. 

296
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,880
Just like other mental health 
problems like anxiety, 

297
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,839
depression, people, especially 
in the church, are afraid of 

298
00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:07,440
things like that. 
Whereas I think that it's 

299
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,480
important for us to get whatever
help, especially that our 

300
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:15,319
children need. 
And fan from a very young age 

301
00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:20,560
showed a lot of sensory issues 
that some people just kept 

302
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,000
saying we're just normal. 
He's just normal boy. 

303
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,079
But as a mom, I just kind of 
knew something else was going 

304
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,680
on. 
So he started occupational 

305
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,240
therapy first before he did 
anything else. 

306
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:38,160
And then at age 5 is actually 
when he got tested. 

307
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:43,800
And then it made a lot more 
sense because he couldn't stand 

308
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,040
loud noises. 
He's a very picky eater, just 

309
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,920
smells too, and he can't stand 
certain smells. 

310
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,400
Very. 
Young That was one of the. 

311
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,360
About what age do you think it 
was that it's struck you that? 

312
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,440
Probably around age 2. 
So he didn't have the typical 

313
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,840
where they regress or don't 
speak because he was actually 

314
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,440
very verbal at a young age, 
which I think was more of the 

315
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:15,720
confusing part because a lot of 
kids that get diagnosed are 

316
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,360
having trouble with speaking. 
And he was actually the 

317
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,640
opposite. 
He liked to talk all the time 

318
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:27,240
and still does. 
But there was just, I guess, 

319
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,080
some quirks about him that were 
just different. 

320
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:36,240
He also, instead of getting 
upset about things like normal 

321
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,480
tantrums, they would last long 
time, 30 minutes, an hour or 

322
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,360
sometimes, and it would be hard 
to redirect. 

323
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:49,160
So I thought that was a little 
unusual at the time. 

324
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,360
But as he was our first, we 
didn't really know a whole lot. 

325
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,640
We're just swinging at us. 
Parents really still are, but 

326
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,640
yeah, so. 
Well, I mean, I think it's 

327
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,320
important to just highlight and 
emphasize. 

328
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,720
There's nothing wrong with it. 
And, and, and a lot of people 

329
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,480
nowadays, like they say, you say
the word spectrum and it's like 

330
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,880
everybody just. 
Defensive. 

331
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,040
Gets defensive they go to the 
most serious case of it. 

332
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,800
You know what I mean of like you
have those cases where you have 

333
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,120
kids who are non verbal and they
can't like it's just they're 

334
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,720
it's very intense. 
Everybody just likens it all to 

335
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,560
the same and it's not that way. 
Everybody's different, even on 

336
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,160
the spectrum, which would to me,
I like, I don't understand how 

337
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:35,680
that concept is hard just 
because it's like the word 

338
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,640
spectrum is like a spectrum of 
colors or personalities, like 

339
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,760
just because it's, you know, so 
there's more to it than just 

340
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,160
going to the, to the absolute. 
And that's why I'm like, this 

341
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,680
needs to get out. 
Yeah. 

342
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:53,160
And I think also the hard part 
for children like Finn is that 

343
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,400
people don't realize that he is 
different. 

344
00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:00,240
And sometimes they look at us 
and our parenting as like you're

345
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,920
the problem, rather than he sees
the the world a little bit 

346
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,560
differently. 
And sometimes he needs a little 

347
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:12,240
bit of a different way of 
handling certain situations. 

348
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:17,440
But because he is so verbal and 
he is very smart, has a very 

349
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:21,920
high IQ, sometimes it's hard to 
notice that at first. 

350
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:26,320
And I just want people to know 
that everybody's doing their 

351
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:32,240
best as parents, and we are. 
We're all trying, but some kids 

352
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,560
just need a different way of 
approaching things. 

353
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:39,040
I know in teaching that's what 
makes a great teacher. 

354
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:44,080
I feel like is when you identify
how to teach each child, they 

355
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,720
all learn differently. 
So you have to establish how am 

356
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,760
I going to teach AB CS to this 
one and then to this one, I'm 

357
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,080
going to teach them differently.
And that's the way it is with 

358
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,800
parenting. 
I feel like every, everybody is,

359
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,160
is taking a different approach 
or doing it. 

360
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,760
And the whole idea of spectrum 
even, I mean, we've come a long 

361
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,640
way just to come to using the 
word spectrum. 

362
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,160
And it even even it, if my 
opinion does not encompass 

363
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,360
everything that it could, but 
like the, the example of colors 

364
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,240
is perfect. 
There are different shades and 

365
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,640
then there are all different 
colors. 

366
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,920
Everybody's different. 
And so I'm I'm really excited 

367
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,920
that you guys were agreeing to 
do this. 

368
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:33,400
I know the UPCI has a recognized
that it is a ministry that needs

369
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,760
to be in our churches as they 
started the new pro, the able 

370
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,280
program and I felt it and and 
you had mentioned you follow it 

371
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,840
too. 
But I still think more in our 

372
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,320
church, we follow it because of 
the connection we have. 

373
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:48,120
But I feel like it's a ministry 
that everyone should be 

374
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:51,760
following. 
You know, how can we help you 

375
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,320
help Finn? 
Be there for Finn. 

376
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:02,560
Yeah, especially in the church 
group, I think that just kind of

377
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,160
knowing some differences would 
be helpful. 

378
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:10,440
Like some children that are like
him won't do eye contact. 

379
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,560
And if they do, it's very brief 
and they're not trying to be 

380
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,200
disrespectful, but it makes them
very uncomfortable sometimes. 

381
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,840
They also don't like to be 
touched. 

382
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:23,160
They may touch you and hug you 
in their own time, but they 

383
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,000
don't actually want you to touch
them. 

384
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,760
It makes them very 
uncomfortable, which is the case

385
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,400
with Finn. 
If you've ever seen him give a 

386
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:33,160
hug, he does it very different. 
He kind of leans close to you 

387
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,400
and that's it. 
There's very few people he will 

388
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:42,200
give a real hug to. 
I do think that it would be a 

389
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,160
good idea if our church can get 
together and do like some kind 

390
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:51,160
of sensory area at least like a 
sensory corner for children that

391
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:55,280
get overwhelmed. 
Easy to give them a break if 

392
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,440
they need it. 
And I just want y'all to know 

393
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,280
during worship service. 
We're trying our best. 

394
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:08,360
Finn may be loud, OK and dancing
but we are trying our best. 

395
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:12,840
He just does get very 
overstimulated with a lot of 

396
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:18,920
noise too, which makes his 
hyperactivity get higher 

397
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:22,360
heightens so. 
It makes you feel any better 

398
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:26,200
like my my wife, my wife gets 
well, my wife gets on me all the

399
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,440
time because like I always joke 
and this is not like in AI say 

400
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,640
joke, but I'm not really. 
But like I always say that like 

401
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,720
I probably am real close to 
being on the spectrum myself 

402
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,880
because like there are like 
noises, especially during 

403
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,400
service like noises get me. 
That's why I like at the minute 

404
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,960
Brayden will start making a 
little bit of noise. 

405
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,640
I'll be like Brooke, we got to 
take him out just because I'm 

406
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,880
like it. 
Just, it just noises get me too.

407
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,200
Not loudness and 
overwhelmingness, but just 

408
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:57,560
random noises can get me. 
I've never picked up once on Sin

409
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,960
or any of them in the back, so 
you must be doing a great job. 

410
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:06,480
That's why we sit in the back. 
But also to you know, you know 

411
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,360
the drums as well. 
It's that's one of the reasons 

412
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:11,640
why we sit in the back as well, 
is because they. 

413
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,720
Get him. 
Yeah, yeah. 

414
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:18,120
And he was maybe 2 years younger
than he is now. 

415
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:21,960
We were doing the headphones 
sometimes to kind of block out 

416
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:26,440
some of the noise because he 
would come in with his his hands

417
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,600
over his ears And so and then 
the same same thing. 

418
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,120
What I could say with smells 
like we've been when he was 

419
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,840
younger, maybe not so much the 
smells, maybe not so much 

420
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,120
anymore, but when he was younger
than he is now would be like a 

421
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:40,560
family Christmas or 
Thanksgiving. 

422
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,000
You have all the food on the 
table. 

423
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,840
He wouldn't go, he wouldn't go 
into that room. 

424
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,400
And you say, why not? 
He said because it's. 

425
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,920
Just too much. 
Yeah, the smell or something. 

426
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,160
He. 
Was he was telling you it smells

427
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,440
yucky? 
Smells yucky, yeah. 

428
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,240
Even though it smells delicious 
to most of us, but to him it was

429
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,880
overwhelming. 
And you know, to some of the 

430
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:07,040
first signs were, you know, the 
flapping of the hands, you know,

431
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,560
and that some kids do that and 
that they may not be, you know, 

432
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,520
they might not have autism or, 
or anything like that. 

433
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,200
But looking back now to those 
signs that. 

434
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,120
Were. 
There, yeah, to those those 

435
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,320
classes, if you will. 
And another thing about that is 

436
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,920
that a lot of people think 
stemming is a behavior that 

437
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,960
needs to be controlled, but 
actually it's a behavior that's 

438
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,120
helping them regulate themselves
so they don't act out. 

439
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,880
That is a way of their body 
getting rid of that extra 

440
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,440
overwhelm. 
And Finn does hand flap and 

441
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,200
jumps. 
So if you've ever seen him do 

442
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:46,480
that, he does it especially when
he's happy or excited and he 

443
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,720
probably gets too close to you, 
but he doesn't even realize. 

444
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,880
But that is him helping his 
nervous system regulate. 

445
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,800
And there's different forms of 
stemming, but that's just what 

446
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,920
he does. 
Some kids also do vocal 

447
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:04,680
stemming, so they make different
noises with their voice. 

448
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,000
And it's not that they're trying
to be annoying, it's just that 

449
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,440
that is their body's way of 
compensating for being 

450
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,960
overstimulated and having all 
those emotions and feelings on 

451
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,720
the inside. 
Sure, and I think we could if we

452
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:24,520
think about it, because a lot of
us do have ways to regulate how 

453
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,560
we're feeling and we don't pay 
any attention to it. 

454
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,000
My husband will get me all the 
time because I'm an I bounce my 

455
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,200
knee all the time. 
And when it in the old days when

456
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,520
we had the pews, you know, the 
hope and he would just kind of 

457
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:40,760
tap me and let me know, Hey, 
you're in our word stemming, you

458
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,960
know, and I know I have those 
little things. 

459
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,280
I think that's why it's so 
passionate for me is because as 

460
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:50,600
a child, I can look back and 
say, oh, that that was me, but 

461
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,680
nobody understood it to be able 
to help me. 

462
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:57,520
So I love it when Finn gets all 
excited and and he's flapping 

463
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,080
and everything, because I know 
he's it's joy. 

464
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,880
It's overjoyed too. 
So it's awesome. 

465
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,000
I guess, I guess a question that
I would have would be so if you 

466
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:12,000
had to give advice to other 
parents who they they might see 

467
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,960
the same signs, but maybe like 
so you, you got fin tested, 

468
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,680
which is a great thing. 
And there's no I for whatever 

469
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,160
reason, people feel like there's
like a shame in this idea of 

470
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:27,040
checking to see is, is my kid 
this way or for me, it would be 

471
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,840
myself. 
I could what would be your 

472
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,760
advice to other parents who are 
on the fence? 

473
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,440
Like they might have people 
saying, Oh, no, they're just 

474
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,640
that's just kid being a kid. 
You don't, you don't want to go 

475
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,320
like, like it's taboo versus 
just getting it just to see 

476
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,280
because if it is, well, now you 
know how to approach them 

477
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:49,440
differently. 
Yeah, so I'll just say when when

478
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:54,040
I first took Finn to get tested,
Justin was actually kind of on 

479
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,400
the fence. 
He wasn't sure if that was right

480
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,680
or not. 
And honestly, I feel like we all

481
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,800
kind of go through that, 
especially when it's your own 

482
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,200
child, because you want 
everything to be perfect with 

483
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,400
your child. 
You don't want them to say that 

484
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,560
something is different and that 
your child is a little 

485
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,440
different. 
I mean, we all want our children

486
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,640
to not be looked at different. 
And but I would just give advice

487
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:22,280
that if you have any questions 
or or even possibility, it 

488
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,600
doesn't hurt to take them to a 
professional. 

489
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,400
For one, you don't have to tell 
anybody. 

490
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,560
You don't have to tell teachers.
You don't have to tell their 

491
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,360
doctor. 
You don't have to tell anyone 

492
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,600
else if you don't want to. 
The reason why it's there really

493
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,320
is for you to understand your 
child more and to get them the 

494
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:45,000
help that they need because they
do a lot of times need some 

495
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,840
help. 
Like Finn has a fine motor 

496
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,080
delay. 
He needs help with those skills 

497
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:54,160
required for writing and he will
always need a little bit more 

498
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,040
practice and assistance with 
that. 

499
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:01,000
But we learned that in those 
assessments, and then we also 

500
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,440
learn different techniques to 
help. 

501
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,040
And I just feel like you should 
never be ashamed because it's 

502
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,000
literally just getting your 
child help. 

503
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,720
Kind of like you would take them
to the doctor if they had the 

504
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,960
flu. 
It's the same now. 

505
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,360
It's not a sickness, but it is 
something that is different and 

506
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,960
it helps if we understand the 
way that they think. 

507
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:29,760
Right, exactly. 
And on the other side of this is

508
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,680
if you, you know, there's a lot 
of people that have the opinion 

509
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,320
and I, I kind of can see it 
that, you know, in the medical 

510
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,760
field, they would just want to 
label everything right. 

511
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:48,200
And so, and so if you have that 
perspective, then it's much 

512
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,960
harder to get past that to, you 
know, seek help us just like, 

513
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,480
you know, we were talking about 
the that, you know, that the 

514
00:29:55,480 --> 00:30:00,800
flapping of the hands, you know,
and sometimes it starts, you 

515
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,640
notice it really early. 
But for him even now we're we're

516
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,440
seeing other things. 
He's 7. 

517
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,440
And so just we got him tested at
5:00 and they said, well, some 

518
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,840
things we don't recommend 
testing till they're 7. 

519
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,440
So we're going through another 
another series of tests soon. 

520
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,240
And so, yeah, it is to your 
point. 

521
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:27,920
And then the taboo or, you know,
some of that is just, you know, 

522
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:33,400
I guess fighting against that or
having that mentality of, well, 

523
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,360
they'll just, it could just be 
something minor, but they want 

524
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:41,160
to put a label on it, you know, 
And I think it's important just 

525
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,600
to kind of keep a healthy 
perspective and open mind to 

526
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,080
that, especially as men, you 
know, talking about myself. 

527
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:51,840
And so so yeah, so it's, it's 
good to talk about it like we 

528
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,920
are and, and, and be willing 
just to keep an open mind about 

529
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,480
it because like, like you said, 
go get them tested. 

530
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,720
And if, if nothing's wrong there
are there, you know there's no 

531
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,080
issues, then you, you've done 
your part as a parent, you. 

532
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,000
Know also point out or remind 
what you mentioned earlier. 

533
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:13,760
Nowhere in this does it say that
he's not an intelligent child. 

534
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:18,000
He's a lot of times you can have
kids who are spectrum, but 

535
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,800
they're even more intelligent, 
like their IQ is higher, they're

536
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,480
smarter. 
So has nothing to do with how 

537
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,160
smart or IQ level or anything 
like that. 

538
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,720
What they can accomplish is the 
exact same as anything else. 

539
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,960
It's just the way that their 
personality is. 

540
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,280
It's just a little different, 
has to be approached different. 

541
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:40,040
I think that from my perspective
of saying is people here, they 

542
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,000
hear that and they go, Oh, that 
my kids, you're trying to say my

543
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,360
kids not as good as another kid 
or as perfect or whatever. 

544
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:47,760
And was like, not the case at 
all. 

545
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,880
It's just just a dip to me. 
I look at it like a different 

546
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,240
personality. 
We all have different 

547
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,560
personalities. 
People have certain tics. 

548
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,640
One of my tics is seeing other 
people's tics. 

549
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,480
It's it's you know, but the IQ 
level in the what they can 

550
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,520
accomplish is on the same level,
sometimes even higher than what 

551
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,680
a normal child could be. 
You know what I mean? 

552
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,120
Yeah. 
And the thing with that also is 

553
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:17,600
that autism doesn't define what 
the child can learn because a 

554
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,680
child can be non verbal and can 
have a higher IQ than any of us 

555
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,920
in this room. 
But getting them tested gives 

556
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:31,640
them the necessary tools they 
can so that they can function 

557
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,080
like the rest of us. 
They have the tools that they 

558
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:39,680
need to grow and develop that 
knowledge that's in their mind. 

559
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,920
They have the tools they need to
be able to take care of 

560
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,280
themselves one day. 
And each of them is going to 

561
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,760
have different struggles. 
Just like the rest of us in life

562
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,080
have different struggles, so 
will they. 

563
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,520
As we said, it's a spectrum. 
Nobody will be the same. 

564
00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:00,040
But when you take them to get 
tested, the psychologist does 

565
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,160
sit down with you and shows the 
findings and kind of guide you 

566
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,840
of what help they may need or 
may not need. 

567
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,440
And then they say things that 
might happen in the future and 

568
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,000
you're like, no, that's I think 
we're good right here. 

569
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,800
But I think it's important just 
to know that we all just want to

570
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,440
help our children. 
There's nothing wrong with them.

571
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,280
They can function just like 
everyone else. 

572
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,480
They might just need it taught 
to them a little different. 

573
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,000
And as parents, we want what's 
best for our children. 

574
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,160
So why don't we want to give 
them the tools that they need to

575
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,800
succeed? 
And that's how I see it, is that

576
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,760
we're just giving different 
tools to him so that he can 

577
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,880
learn the things that he needs 
to learn and grow. 

578
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,920
I think the other important 
thing that you said, Brittany, 

579
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:56,840
was parents a lot of times get 
blamed for it, it being a 

580
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,520
behavior problem because of 
their parenting skills. 

581
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:05,320
And I think it's so important to
make sure that people know that 

582
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,320
that's not what it is. 
It it's not don't just 

583
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:13,400
automatically if you see him 
getting excited and trying to be

584
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,679
a little bit he's a little bit 
louder than the other person 

585
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:20,040
that oh, they're letting him, 
you know, just act out in 

586
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,639
church. 
That's not what it is. 

587
00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:24,400
That's not what it is. 
He that's how he's expressing 

588
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,880
himself. 
Actually, there's a song about 

589
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,880
it that we all sing. 
If you don't like the way I'm 

590
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,280
worshiping now, wait till you 
see me when I get there is 

591
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,000
something like that is how it 
goes. 

592
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,719
Let him worship. 
Let me say, hey, good job mom, 

593
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,760
that he is worshipping. 
He's in church. 

594
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,520
You're bringing him to church. 
Please don't ever not bring them

595
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,719
to church. 
That is another heart string of 

596
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,719
mine that when we have families 
in the church that have kids 

597
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,520
that are going to be a little 
more, let them come. 

598
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:04,760
Please bring them and let them 
feel God and worship and I mean 

599
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,840
you. 
You pull out parents, you tell 

600
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,120
them you know what I'm saying? 
Tell them you're how you feel 

601
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,360
about something like that. 
Yeah. 

602
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,560
And just saying if anybody 
listens to this and they're 

603
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,760
having some struggle, was having
some doubts, you can always come

604
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,240
talk to me. 
I may seem a little. 

605
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,920
Introvert. 
Yeah, I don't always come up to 

606
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,840
people and talk to them because 
I can be more introverted, but I

607
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:37,200
do not mind talking to anyone. 
And I don't mind giving the 

608
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:41,080
little bit of ice I may have. 
Or just you can just talk to me.

609
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,200
I'll just listen. 
But you can also sit with us. 

610
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,960
I mean, as long as you don't 
mind Finn probably dancing and 

611
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:53,200
jumping on the pews, but because
he does that often, like this 

612
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:57,000
morning. 
But yeah, just you don't ever 

613
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,720
need to feel bad if you're 
setting boundaries like you 

614
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:02,480
should. 
And your children are just a 

615
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,400
little different, a little more 
loud. 

616
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,680
That's why we sit in the back. 
But we always want to keep 

617
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,760
bringing him. 
We don't want him to be a burden

618
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,640
on anyone else. 
But also we feel like it's 

619
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,240
important for him to feel God 
and be around people that are 

620
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:20,040
worshipping God as well. 
And he loves Sunday school. 

621
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,800
His brother, not so much, but he
loves Sunday school and I think 

622
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,280
it's important for even our 
children that have a little 

623
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,040
extra needs to get that Sunday 
school because they learn a lot 

624
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,120
and we don't realize, I think 
sometimes how much they do 

625
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,200
learn. 
Shout out to the Sunday School 

626
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,080
teachers. 
Yes. 

627
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,320
And and the school teachers. 
Yes, all of them. 

628
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:48,400
All the teachers, because y'all 
deal with a lot, because at home

629
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:53,400
we don't have to teach them. 
Except for, you know, normal 

630
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,240
household stuff. 
Not learning stuff. 

631
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,040
Couldn't do it. 
We thought about it for a while,

632
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,080
but no. 
But you know, to your point 

633
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:05,320
about the behavior thing, excuse
me, you know, that's where at 

634
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,280
times I've struggled because, 
you know, I grew up in, in 

635
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:13,040
church and so I know how you're 
supposed to behave, you know, 

636
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,720
and now being adult, obviously I
know what's, what's customary, 

637
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:21,080
what's kind of expected anyways.
But you know, as being a father,

638
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:25,440
you, you want to instill, you 
know, you know, good habits and 

639
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,480
you want to instill morals and 
you want to make sure that 

640
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,680
you're raising children that 
know how to behave. 

641
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:37,120
And so I've had a hard time, you
know, with, with that, because, 

642
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:42,080
you know, if I'm just being 
transparent, you know, I do 

643
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,120
think about what other people 
are thinking. 

644
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:48,080
And in, in those moments, you 
know, we're, we're not just 

645
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,440
letting let him jump off the 
walls, are, you know, are 

646
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,800
purposely, you know, going out 
of his way to, you know, to be a

647
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,600
menace. 
But it, it's, it is a we talked 

648
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,280
about it before we started it. 
It is hard to know where that 

649
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:05,520
line is because you, like I 
said, you, you want to make sure

650
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,520
they grow up with with those 
values of how to treat others 

651
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:13,680
and and how they should respect,
you know, people space, the 

652
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,200
church, the House of the Lord, 
but also their classmates, their

653
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,440
friends or teachers. 
All these things are very 

654
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,920
important to us. 
And so how do we do that? 

655
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:27,120
You know, in a way that that 
he'll understand it considering 

656
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,840
his needs. 
Maybe go a little bit further 

657
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:35,440
than a normal child. 
Yeah, I, if I can make any kind 

658
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,400
of comment on it, I feel like 
for, for us as the church 

659
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:44,240
family, this should be something
that's very natural for us to be

660
00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:46,600
able to adopt to just because of
how much scripture. 

661
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:51,480
And I mean, we can just look at 
Christ himself and how he 

662
00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:53,880
responded to the children who 
would come up to him. 

663
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,520
And I, I find it hard to believe
they walked single file quietly 

664
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,680
with their hands on their sides.
And I was just reading this when

665
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:06,240
the children came to him and the
disciples wanted to stop them, 

666
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,360
you know, And he, he reprimanded
them for that. 

667
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:13,080
He's let the children come. 
We, we see just how valuable the

668
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:17,760
children are to, to God. 
And you know, in my mind, I look

669
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,120
at it and this might be where a 
little part of me is, I don't 

670
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,240
know, spectrum or whatever the 
case is, but in my mind, I'm 

671
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,480
like, like I said, I see it as 
colors or personality. 

672
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:30,520
But like God deals with all of 
us differently, even us who are,

673
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,160
are normal. 
We, we all have our own issues 

674
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,000
and, and things that he deals 
with us and there's no judgement

675
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:41,080
from him on how we are. 
So why should we be that way 

676
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,640
towards a child, no less, but 
other people who are dealing 

677
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,320
with that. 
And I'm like, this should come 

678
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:51,240
natural for us, in my opinion, 
to be able to understand and be 

679
00:39:51,240 --> 00:39:54,280
supportive of these kind of 
things because that's how God is

680
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,720
towards us. 
And there's literal scripture 

681
00:39:56,720 --> 00:40:00,360
for take care of the kids, make 
sure they have that opportunity 

682
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,720
to come to me and, and, and be 
like that. 

683
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:05,360
And we're supposed to be like 
the children ourselves. 

684
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,800
If we want to have a good 
relationship with God. 

685
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,000
So to me, it's like that should 
be something that's very 

686
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,880
straightforward, very simple for
what should be for us. 

687
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,840
But I, I will ask, I'll, I'll, 
I'll play the role of someone 

688
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:22,560
who who doesn't know anything 
about it. 

689
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:26,920
If you were to like we mentioned
how Finn is during worship and 

690
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:31,840
during church. 
How should I look at that if I'm

691
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,360
if I don't know he he is the way
that he is and I just this is my

692
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,280
first time witnessing it like 
how how should I? 

693
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,240
How will be your advice to me as
far as how? 

694
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,480
To be supportive. 
How to be supportive, how to be 

695
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,840
there for them if they need to 
be there for you guys? 

696
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,640
Because you guys are not the 
only ones who who are having a 

697
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,880
child like this. 
Some people are not as vocal 

698
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,680
about it, which is why I'm 
thankful you guys are. 

699
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,600
But how do we be supportive of 
you guys and supportive of the 

700
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:05,680
children who are this way? 
I would say just pretty much 

701
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:11,200
just ignore it. 
Like honestly, when there's a 

702
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:15,360
tension more on us, it feels 
more like we're being judged for

703
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,160
what's happening. 
And I know that's not what 

704
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:22,040
people usually mean by it, but 
as parents, it's kind of hard 

705
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,160
because you see people looking 
at you and then then you just 

706
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,520
kind of freeze and you're like, 
OK, well, we need to stop this 

707
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,960
because it's distracting someone
else. 

708
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:38,240
Or do you have any? 
I guess that's about the gist of

709
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:41,560
it. 
Yeah, we, we understand for 

710
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,080
sure. 
It can be, you know, disruptive 

711
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:51,800
for sure at at times. 
And, you know, kids, kids will 

712
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,840
be kids on a certain level. 
You know, absolutely. 

713
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,880
You're with them every day. 
Yes, Brayden this morning had 

714
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,880
one of those little things you 
pull and it makes noise and he 

715
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,840
figured out how to pull it all 
out really fast. 

716
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,600
And it was like this loud noise 
right when it was quiet. 

717
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,080
We're like, but you know what 
it's like you said he's a kid. 

718
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,840
He's a child. 
Well, I think someone said it. 

719
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,360
I don't know where I heard it 
from, but, you know, we've, we 

720
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:21,600
spent our whole lives learning 
how to be respectable adults. 

721
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,360
You know, they haven't, they 
haven't had the same level of 

722
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,960
training that we have. 
And that's just a normal kid. 

723
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:32,840
And so, so, so yeah, it's, it's,
it's difficult. 

724
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:39,280
And I may have mentioned this to
you before, Brittany, but before

725
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,280
we even, you know, dating and 
and got married and start having

726
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:48,680
kids, I've always done my best 
to try not to, you know, be out 

727
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,120
in public and see a a child, 
just throw them stuff on the 

728
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,560
floor being in a restaurant and 
catastrophe happens. 

729
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,360
And, and judge that those 
parents. 

730
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:01,000
I've always tried not to because
I'm thinking, well, first of 

731
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,640
all, I'm not a parent. 
So what, you know what? 

732
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:07,640
I don't really have any grounds 
or rights to voice my opinion 

733
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,640
or, you know, even internally, 
you know, pass judgment. 

734
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,840
And I'm so glad I'm just to my 
own horn here, but I'm so glad 

735
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,080
that I didn't do that because 
now, now I have a child that 

736
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,680
has, you know, more, more 
challenges than a normal child 

737
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,160
would have. 
So, so yeah, it's just, you 

738
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,760
know, I guess it's keeping an 
open mind and and don't always 

739
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,360
don't assume, don't assume. 
And, you know, I think we have a

740
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,000
great church family here. 
And so we haven't had any 

741
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,280
issues. 
And all the support from the 

742
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,320
teachers here in the school. 
Teachers have been great. 

743
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:46,440
Yeah, I think our pastor has 
made that known to our church 

744
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:51,480
family just by how all of the 
little kids during church will 

745
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,720
want to run up there and stand 
beside him and he'll hold their 

746
00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:56,480
hand and jump with them and 
shout with them and worship with

747
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,400
them. 
And and if they're excited to be

748
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:03,320
in the altar, he's good with 
that because he is open minded. 

749
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,480
Of course, Sister Pet and our 
first Lady being a teacher and 

750
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:10,160
having all of the backgrounds 
she does in education, knowing 

751
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,320
I, I love that about our church,
I do that. 

752
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:17,800
I feel like we are a good family
for that, for that support. 

753
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:22,440
I agree with you that we could 
grow with our sensory area. 

754
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,320
And The thing is our school has 
that. 

755
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,120
So it would be easy to just 
incorporate that into the Sunday

756
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,640
school as well. 
Yeah, Sister Penn had asked me 

757
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:35,280
to try to get something together
a little while ago, but I'm not 

758
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:40,920
very good at starting things. 
So also something else I just 

759
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:46,320
wanted to add about if you see a
parent like that, if sometimes 

760
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,240
if you could just tell them that
they're doing a good job. 

761
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:52,800
When you see parents that are 
struggling, I think that as a 

762
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,480
community, we need to tell each 
other that we're that you're 

763
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,560
doing a good job because all 
parents are trying. 

764
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,280
And sometimes when you're having
a rough day, even with typical 

765
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,680
children, you kind of just need 
to hear it's OK and you're doing

766
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:09,120
a good job. 
Well it's so funny we we love 

767
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,720
there's ATV show called Bluey. 
I don't know if you guys have 

768
00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:12,960
watched it or not, but. 
It's a lot. 

769
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,520
You have not. 
No, I said a lot. 

770
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,760
Oh. 
Yeah, it was a great show. 

771
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,000
I watched. 
I watched it even after Braden's

772
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,640
left the room. 
And I'll just, I don't even, you

773
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,520
know, but there's one episode in
there where the mom is 

774
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:29,760
struggling hard with her kid not
being on the same level as the 

775
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,120
other kids. 
And so the whole episode is 

776
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,280
centered about the mom just 
struggling with that. 

777
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,960
And then the final scene, 
another mom just comes over and 

778
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,000
they they have a little 
conversation and then the scene 

779
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,040
centers on the other mom. 
She's just like, she just stops.

780
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:46,960
She goes, hey, you're doing 
great and the the the mom and 

781
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,800
the show will start to tear up 
and cry. 

782
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,200
But and I do too. 
It's so funny because Brooke 

783
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,240
will watch that and she'll watch
that scene. 

784
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:59,000
It'll immediately get her. 
And so now all the time, if I, 

785
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,880
if she's ever like stressed out 
with Brayden or anything I like,

786
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,360
I can just pull up the little 
video of the of the bluey thing 

787
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,400
and just be like, I'll watch 
this real quick and it'll get 

788
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,200
her every single time. 
Because it just, it just means 

789
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,920
so much. 
Yeah. 

790
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,200
To have somebody say, hey, 
you're, you're doing a good job.

791
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,760
You're here. 
You made it to church with your 

792
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,680
children. 
That is, That is what God 

793
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,240
expects of us, really, to raise 
up a child and the way they 

794
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,560
should go. 
So that's awesome. 

795
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,320
What advice can we give to 
Sunday school teachers and 

796
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,920
teachers in general? 
When a child may come in that is

797
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,880
that way on and how to do. 
I don't want to say deal with 

798
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:43,240
them because it just sounds 
harsh, but grow with them make. 

799
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:44,640
Work with them. 
Work with them. 

800
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,400
What's what's some advice we can
get for for the teachers who are

801
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,080
involved with this? 
Oh, is this coming to me? 

802
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:54,440
Yeah. 
Well, like I said, I love that 

803
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,040
the ABLE program, there's all 
kinds of things on there, but 

804
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,840
sometimes just doing your 
homework about we are blessed 

805
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:05,200
here once again. 
I know that the Silas's who used

806
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:10,240
to be over the children's Tracy 
Silas was very familiar and 

807
00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:15,840
worked well in that environment.
And now with brother David and 

808
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,800
sister Holly, Holly is amazing, 
amazing. 

809
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:20,640
I mean, they, they work at the 
camps. 

810
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:26,560
And so I, I think just knowing 
you educate yourself, being a 

811
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,680
Sunday school teacher may not 
require your bachelor's degree 

812
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,520
or your master's degree or 
things like that in education, 

813
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,840
but you can still get that 
education. 

814
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,000
Study it. 
I mean, I started out just 

815
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:44,000
taking a few classes. 
Make yourself a known and then 

816
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,360
just be our pastor's favorite 
word fluid. 

817
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:50,640
That's just the most important 
thing in in my mind is just to 

818
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,560
to go with it. 
If they're struggling to come 

819
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,080
into the classroom because it 
seems like there's a lot of 

820
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:01,520
extra kids in there. 
The other classroom is open, but

821
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,200
if they're more comfortable 
there, they can come in there. 

822
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,680
Just, you know, roll with it And
is my opinion. 

823
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,840
I don't know what you guys, what
makes it easier for you and 

824
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,840
you're dropping them off or 
picking them up. 

825
00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:19,080
For us, Finn is very excited to 
go, so it's not very hard to 

826
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,320
drop him off, but I know that 
sometimes he has some struggles 

827
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:25,560
inside the classroom. 
I would say that if you ever, as

828
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:29,120
a semi school teacher, notice 
that a child is struggling with 

829
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,520
certain things, it's never wrong
to ask the parent. 

830
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:35,280
Like what can we do a little bit
to help them in here? 

831
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:40,360
Like what helps or something 
even in school, that's kind of 

832
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,720
what we're going through right 
now is trying to figure out what

833
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:47,080
helps Finn. 
Because each child is going to 

834
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,680
have a little bit of different 
needs, especially in the 

835
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,680
classroom or even Sunday school 
classroom setting. 

836
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,400
But also just knowing that 
sometimes if they're getting 

837
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:02,840
frustrated about something, it 
may not necessarily be exactly 

838
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:06,600
what it looks like. 
Because sometimes especially 

839
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:11,200
children on the spectrum get 
frustrated about something 

840
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,000
small. 
But to them, it's very big. 

841
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:19,160
And the way to approach it can 
sometimes be differently because

842
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,920
if they make, if you make them 
feel like it's not a big deal 

843
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,520
because to them it is, that's 
very frustrating to them. 

844
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,920
So I would just say you kind of 
got to take it by the child and 

845
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:36,360
what's happening. 
And some children do better than

846
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:42,280
others in the classroom, but 
also just know if they're not 

847
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:46,200
good at sharing or impulse 
control is a little bit of a 

848
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:50,000
problem. 
Sometimes you just have to go 

849
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:54,000
about it a little differently. 
Or like Finn, if he really wants

850
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,280
to tell you something, and I 
know it's very inconvenient 

851
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:03,160
sometimes, but at least address 
him and say I will answer you in

852
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,720
just a minute. 
Because if not, he will just 

853
00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:08,520
continue because he feels like 
it's very important. 

854
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:14,680
Even if it's to tell you that he
ate a red candy yesterday, to 

855
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:18,080
him it's important. 
And I feel like it's important 

856
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:23,440
for us to make our children know
that they are important, that's 

857
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:25,640
instilling confidence in them, 
and that will help. 

858
00:50:25,720 --> 00:50:29,240
Life and that could be for any 
child, yes, any any child wants 

859
00:50:29,240 --> 00:50:34,080
if you know to be recognized or 
noticed. 

860
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,040
Feel heard? 
Yeah, we also. 

861
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,120
Yeah, and that just helps with 
any child's confidence too. 

862
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,680
And that helps with their self 
esteem which will make them want

863
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:47,280
to come more as well, even any 
child really. 

864
00:50:48,240 --> 00:50:49,800
And they may have something to 
contribute. 

865
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,960
Yeah. 
I mean, you know, the thought 

866
00:50:52,960 --> 00:51:00,040
that God gave them could be the 
thought that adds to your Sunday

867
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,000
school lesson. 
And even if you don't think the 

868
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,320
children are listening, Finn can
tell me every single Sunday 

869
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,840
school lesson he has had, OK? 
There you go. 

870
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:13,640
He he knows a lot of Bible 
stories for sure. 

871
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,880
That's just, that's just an 
example of the brilliance that 

872
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,360
they can have, you know, to 
remember that kind of stuff. 

873
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,800
The details never, I can't 
remember that kind of stuff. 

874
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:23,640
You know what I'm saying? 
Like. 

875
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,320
I don't know, John. 
You do pretty good. 

876
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:27,920
I think you're. 
I think you're like. 

877
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,000
I said if I got tested, I feel 
like I would be there too. 

878
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,600
Like I recognize it. 
I'm like, yeah, I got an issue. 

879
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,920
I got a problem. 
Like I am that picky person with

880
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:38,880
textures. 
I'm the picky person with smell.

881
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,240
Certain smells. 
Just I can't do it, you know, 

882
00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:43,360
noises, certain noises, I can't 
do it. 

883
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,640
Like that's why I guess that's 
why it's so easy for me to 

884
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,400
understand others who have that 
because it's like I kind of do 

885
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:52,240
to an extent. 
So you know, that's why it's 

886
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:59,480
never, I just never understood 
why some people get reclusive 

887
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,720
when the topic comes out because
to me, I just, I never saw there

888
00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:06,360
being is something that's wrong,
something that's negative. 

889
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,480
I've never looked at it that way
personally growing up. 

890
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,200
Maybe it's because the way mom 
raised me, but. 

891
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,800
Because Mom was. 
Yeah, that's why, like I said, 

892
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,360
that's another reason why I just
want to get it out there and why

893
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,440
I felt like this would be a 
really good thing to talk about 

894
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,960
because so many people get that 
way. 

895
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:25,240
And maybe if you hear like, Oh 
no, other people have gone 

896
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,240
through the same thing, other 
people see it. 

897
00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:29,240
It's it's nothing that you're 
being judged for. 

898
00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:31,920
There's nothing wrong with it. 
It's just, it's just something 

899
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:35,600
that's a different color on the 
rainbow than what you're used to

900
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,560
seeing. 
And it's not necessarily a bad 

901
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,040
color. 
All colors together make a a 

902
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:41,760
picture. 
If you only ever have one color,

903
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:45,400
you're going to have a very 
boring, boring painting. 

904
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:46,720
You know what I mean? 
So. 

905
00:52:46,720 --> 00:52:50,320
That's why I don't like the word
normal, because who gets to 

906
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,560
judge what that is? 
You can't. 

907
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:59,760
So there is no normal. 
There's me, there's you, there's

908
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:03,400
Justin, there's Brittany, 
there's Finn and others. 

909
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,960
So yeah. 
Yeah, and you know, parenting. 

910
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:09,960
Parenting is hard enough. 
Yes, it is. 

911
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:15,840
And as I said earlier, you're 
trying to, you know, raise up 

912
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:21,520
good people, take kids and turn 
them into responsible citizens. 

913
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:22,960
And. 
We're not raising children, 

914
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:24,880
we're raising adults. 
Yeah, exactly. 

915
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,480
And that's tough enough. 
And there's so many different 

916
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:32,920
opinions on, you know, this, you
know, discipline your children, 

917
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,760
you know, correction, all these 
things. 

918
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,960
I mean, it's just everyone has 
their own opinion, which is 

919
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:43,280
fine, but then you, you throw in
that, that extra layer of, you 

920
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:48,080
know, yeah, another challenge, 
autism, whatever it might be, 

921
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:53,040
the disability, you know, that 
that adds a whole new level to 

922
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,760
it. 
And so as parents, I don't know 

923
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,400
about you guys that feel like a 
lot of times you're, you're 

924
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,280
tough on yourself. 
I should have done this 

925
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:01,560
differently. 
I should have said this, you 

926
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:05,320
know, differently or 
overreacted, you know, this 

927
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,560
time. 
And so you kind of go around 

928
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:11,880
beating yourself up and then, 
you know, you have another, 

929
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,600
another challenge that we were 
like we were talking about here.

930
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:21,000
So it's it's good to kind of 
remember that you're doing the 

931
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,440
best you can. 
And so that's. 

932
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:23,720
God's grace. 
Yeah. 

933
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:27,800
And so I would as as you said 
earlier, Brittany, telling a 

934
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,120
parent they've done a good job 
today. 

935
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,000
Any parents listening to this 
right now? 

936
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,360
Are you doing a good job? 
Keep up the good work. 

937
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:41,240
Exactly as a grandmother and 
what we say that our our 

938
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:43,520
grandchildren come along and we 
spoil them in a totally 

939
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:45,240
different way than we did our 
kids. 

940
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,440
And you're the kids will say you
didn't let me get away with 

941
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:49,360
that. 
You didn't let me do that. 

942
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,080
You know what, you know what? 
I remember all of that. 

943
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:58,280
Now I know what not to do. 
You know, I've been there, done 

944
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,240
that. 
Now this little guy is going to 

945
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,400
learn. 
I'm going to learn from all my 

946
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,200
things that I wish I could 
change for him. 

947
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,480
It's not that he's getting away 
with what you didn't get away 

948
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:13,120
with, you know? 
I got away with a lot of stuff 

949
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,840
though. 
So it was pretty good, I would 

950
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:20,680
say to to parents who have 
children and not just children 

951
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:28,560
in different situations, but 
there are times when you you 

952
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:32,080
want to go to the altar or you 
want to go have some time. 

953
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:38,480
Don't neglect the fact that you 
have a family here. 

954
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,600
And I want to make sure that you
know, hey, I can come sit with 

955
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,960
Finn. 
I I don't have a problem coming 

956
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:45,600
and sitting with Finn and 
Oliver. 

957
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:49,960
If you want to have a moment, 
you know what I'm saying? 

958
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:54,200
I think that's another thing 
that we can all learn to do to 

959
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:58,640
cover y'all. 
So you can have mommy daddy time

960
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,360
with the Lord. 
That's another level of ultra 

961
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:02,840
working, right? 
Yeah, whole another level. 

962
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,480
We can do it. 
You know, convict somebody today

963
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,640
or. 
Whatever that comes out, hey, 

964
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:14,840
I'm just saying. 
Got a great idea here, Yeah. 

965
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:19,240
I mean, I, Brayden's still 
young, but I tell you, the 

966
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:23,920
hardest thing I think as a dad 
is when you look back and you 

967
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,840
think, oh, did I? 
Did I overreact? 

968
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:31,160
Was, I mean, did he did me 
trying to be disciplinary or 

969
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:34,680
whatever the case may be? 
Did he take that as I'm the bad 

970
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:38,280
guy? 
And I just, you know, I that's a

971
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:41,120
hard thing that I've learned 
just dealing with. 

972
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:46,480
I can't imagine how it would be 
if you get to a point where they

973
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:48,360
are really thinking those 
things. 

974
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:52,920
And and for parents or for us 
who may not recognize that our 

975
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:57,600
child may be a different, like 
they approach it differently and

976
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,760
you don't realize that. 
Yeah, they really could look at 

977
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:03,360
some things as being, you know 
what I mean? 

978
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:07,720
Like if to you, it's something 
that is little or should be 

979
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:09,720
minutered, but to them it is 
big. 

980
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:11,640
And you didn't know that you 
overreacted. 

981
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:15,520
But to them, you just man, you 
just went scorched earth on them

982
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,120
and that, you know what I mean? 
Like that would just be a a 

983
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,240
tough thing because all you 
really do want is just the best 

984
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:25,680
for them. 
So yeah, that that that kind of 

985
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,240
hits home a little bit for me, 
just myself, and I'm Brayden. 

986
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,720
I don't even know if he's at 
that point, you know what I 

987
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,760
mean? 
So he's definitely got some of 

988
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:37,600
my ticks, I will say that. 
I would say with parenting in 

989
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,920
general though, as long as you, 
we're all going to have those 

990
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:45,600
things that we overreact on. 
We all have bad days, adults, 

991
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:49,280
children, everybody, but it's 
what you do afterwards that 

992
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:51,920
really counts. 
I think we should have 

993
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,440
communication and we should 
always say sorry to our 

994
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:58,080
children. 
They need to know that we're 

995
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,640
coming from a place of love, 
that we love them and that's why

996
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,720
we're not letting them behave a 
certain way. 

997
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,920
But they also need to know that 
there are certain ways we should

998
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,120
act and shouldn't act in those 
things. 

999
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,720
And when we overreact, we should
also say sorry. 

1000
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:13,760
Exactly. 
I agree. 

1001
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:17,920
I've done it before. 
I've had to say it to a child, 

1002
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:22,880
you know, when I thought it was 
this, but it was this. 

1003
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,960
And then to go to them and say, 
I'm sorry you, you were right 

1004
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:29,920
and Miss Cheryl was wrong and 
I'm sorry for that, you know, So

1005
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:33,920
I, I agree with you 100%. 
And that's teaching them as well

1006
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:36,520
as teaching them how you should 
respond, You know, when you make

1007
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:41,000
a mistake, especially as parents
and as adults, we, you know, be 

1008
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,400
prideful, you know, don't want 
to admit that. 

1009
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:47,880
But I think if we start start 
them out early saying hey, it's 

1010
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:51,840
OK to say sorry and you should, 
they will, they will definitely 

1011
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:54,480
have better a better adults. 
Right. 

1012
00:58:55,640 --> 00:59:00,800
One more area of talking in this
that I don't know if you guys 

1013
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,840
have even you may not even be 
able to comment on it at all. 

1014
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,920
But I've I've seen it before 
where having a child who is on 

1015
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:10,680
the spectrum can cause a lot of 
stress on parents and can even 

1016
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,400
put a nail or a wedge in between
both of the parents. 

1017
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,800
Like you can get stressed out 
over the child cause you to get 

1018
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,760
stressed out with each other, 
which can lead to some fights, 

1019
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:22,640
some issues, things like that, 
Disagreements, disagreements. 

1020
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,720
Hopefully I'm not poking the 
wrong buttons. 

1021
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:29,120
But if I had to ask, like maybe 
you haven't gone through it, 

1022
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:30,720
maybe you're going through it, I
don't know. 

1023
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:35,360
But if you could from your 
experience in those situations, 

1024
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,880
if you've had any, what kind of 
advice could you give to other 

1025
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:44,400
parents where they're struggling
with what's more important? 

1026
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:47,040
And this is terrible to say it 
this way, but what's how to 

1027
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:51,160
prioritize like your child, also
your marriage, making sure that 

1028
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:53,880
you're not letting the child and
their, I don't want to say 

1029
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:57,480
difficulties, but their their 
types get in the way of your 

1030
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,600
marriage where you're stressing 
out over each other. 

1031
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,800
And and then it can cause like 
I've seen so many where it 

1032
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,120
causes two people to split up 
just because of the struggle 

1033
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:07,160
with the kid. 
What advice could you give to 

1034
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:10,640
parents who have that and maybe 
going through something like 

1035
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,600
that? 
How do you make it work as a 

1036
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,040
marriage? 
Yeah, I will say sometimes it 

1037
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:19,680
does get very difficult because 
you're spending all your time 

1038
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:23,040
and sometimes all your energy 
just trying to keep your child 

1039
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:28,800
alive and happy, honestly. 
And that can put a strain on 

1040
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,240
your marriage when you don't 
have enough time for each other 

1041
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:35,280
or you're both exhausted because
you've been having to discipline

1042
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:39,080
all day long. 
I will say that you have to make

1043
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:42,760
time for each other, even if 
that is just a little bit just. 

1044
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:46,320
And I have learned because 
sometimes since I work night 

1045
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,960
shows, sometimes making time for
each other is difficult. 

1046
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:52,680
But that will drive a wedge in 
between you if you don't make 

1047
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:56,000
any time for each other. 
And you have to think about the 

1048
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,280
fact that two people sometimes 
parent differently as well and 

1049
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,360
have different ideas on 
discipline. 

1050
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:06,120
And I think it's very good to 
talk about with each other so 

1051
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:09,880
you're not just down each 
other's throat all the time. 

1052
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,960
Like, oh, well, I didn't like 
how you did that. 

1053
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,160
I think communication is the 
key. 

1054
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:20,720
And we don't have it all figured
out, obviously, But yeah. 

1055
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:26,960
And finding someone that you can
trust to even watch your kid for

1056
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:30,160
one hour helps. 
I know that not everybody has 

1057
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:35,160
that. 
And I mean, as a church family, 

1058
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:39,400
we need to be more open to that 
and helping the people in our 

1059
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,960
church that don't have that so 
that they can prioritize their 

1060
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:46,680
marriage as well. 
Because we have to be there for 

1061
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:48,680
each other for the rest of our 
lives. 

1062
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:53,360
Like eventually we hope that our
children will grow up and be 

1063
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,920
able to take care of themselves 
and we're still going to be left

1064
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:59,480
with each other. 
So we have to, we have to, you 

1065
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:06,200
know, keep putting energy into 
it even when we, I mean, even 

1066
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:08,000
when you don't feel like it 
sometimes. 

1067
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:12,960
Yeah, you know, I was going to 
say ask me in 11 years and I'll 

1068
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:17,880
tell you. 
Well, we have made it 10 years, 

1069
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:20,320
OK. 
Well, I mean, I mean, when Pig 

1070
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,360
gets old enough to be, you know,
responsible for himself. 

1071
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,720
Ask me then, and then I'll tell 
you how to raise it. 

1072
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:27,920
Yeah, I do. 
You're right. 

1073
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,480
It takes a village. 
It really does. 

1074
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,920
There's a reason that's a 
saying, and it's so important. 

1075
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:34,320
And I agree. 
That's why I try and tell. 

1076
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:38,240
I have friends who and they may 
even be a single parent in the 

1077
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:41,680
situation like you have to take 
care of you because you can't 

1078
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,800
take care of him if you're not 
taking care of you. 

1079
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:49,880
So if you need somebody for an 
hour, 2 hours, I mean, even my 

1080
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:54,440
son will call and say, Hey, we 
need, we need time, you know, to

1081
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,320
get out and be a couple. 
It's that's not just for kit 

1082
01:02:57,440 --> 01:03:00,080
parents who are in y'all 
situation. 

1083
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:04,600
That's for all parents, you 
know, and I hope everybody knows

1084
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:09,480
if you get to that point and you
just need it, give me a call and

1085
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:14,800
say, hey, you know, I don't. 
I don't care what, Fenn will 

1086
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:18,920
have fun at my house. 
I'm afraid for Fenn to go 

1087
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,120
anybody's house. 
We're afraid that everything 

1088
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:25,160
will be broken. 
Sometimes we get terrified of 

1089
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,760
going to other people's houses. 
That's a problem. 

1090
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,560
Come to mind, Mine's baby 
proofed pretty much. 

1091
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,360
It looks like a daycare for real
now, yeah. 

1092
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:35,200
There's nothing there that's not
broken that Braden hasn't found 

1093
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:38,080
a way to. 
I mean, my kid will baby, baby 

1094
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,080
proof a house pretty quick. 
If there's something that needs 

1095
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:43,120
to be fixed or dressed, he'll 
figure it out real quickly. 

1096
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:45,920
And you'll find out, especially 
when he's what, 20 feet up the 

1097
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:48,880
steps and you realize the gates 
not there. 

1098
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,720
You walk in the room and there's
three different puzzles that are

1099
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,640
1000 pieces each all mixed 
together. 

1100
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:57,640
And he's let's do a puzzle. 
Make it real challenging. 

1101
01:03:58,280 --> 01:03:59,560
It's all good. 
Yeah, it's. 

1102
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:03,600
My life, yeah, one of those 
challenges for me along the same

1103
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:08,360
lines we're talking about with 
with then, you know, he's 

1104
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:14,160
autistic, but it's it's not the 
non verbal, it's he copes or he 

1105
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,240
what's the word? 
He's hyper verbal actually. 

1106
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,520
And so I like to say that he 
narrates his life. 

1107
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:25,920
Literally. 
Actually, literally, he does 

1108
01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:27,200
everything. 
Yeah. 

1109
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:31,360
And so when I come home and 
brain is the same, it's I mean, 

1110
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,960
it's just non-stop. 
And you know, you worked 8910 

1111
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:41,280
hour days, you know, and you 
just won't, you know, peace and 

1112
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,240
quiet. 
You just want to relax. 

1113
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:48,920
You just want to, you know, 
decompress, decompress. 

1114
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:52,600
Thank you. 
And but with the child that's 

1115
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:56,280
talking 90 miles an hour, it's 
hard to decompress. 

1116
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,760
Breathe. 
Yeah, exactly. 

1117
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,200
So it's, it's definitely 
challenging and you know, and 

1118
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:04,600
every parent knows that that 
that works and, and, and and has

1119
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:08,520
a family that's tough enough. 
But yeah, when you, when you, 

1120
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:11,400
and in this case, when he wants 
to tell you everything and 

1121
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:15,440
narrate everything and it's the 
most important thing. 

1122
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,320
There's no, there's, there's 
nothing else that's more 

1123
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:19,680
important than what he has to 
say at that moment. 

1124
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:24,600
And so, yeah. 
And, and he doesn't pick up on, 

1125
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:27,640
you know, social cues. 
He doesn't, doesn't know that 

1126
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,120
you don't want to hear it or 
that that you've heard enough 

1127
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:31,880
and that you're ready to now 
he's going to tell you. 

1128
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:35,800
He's just going to keep talking.
That's like my son in personal 

1129
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,720
space. 
He does not understand that, you

1130
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:41,760
know, he does not need to get 
this close just to talk to you. 

1131
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:44,640
I mean, like Brayden, Brayden's 
that way. 

1132
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,960
But like when he wants to tell 
you something, he has to be 

1133
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:51,880
right in your face, eye to eye. 
You got to be able to smell. 

1134
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:55,280
He wants to smell your breath. 
He wants to, you know, if you're

1135
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:57,560
not looking eye to eye with him,
you're not listening. 

1136
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:59,840
I don't know if he feels like 
he's got to tell you even though

1137
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:03,880
he's talking. 
I know he, he, he can't, he gets

1138
01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:06,160
going and it's just, I mean. 
He's talking. 

1139
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:07,360
His tongues, you know what I 
mean? 

1140
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,240
So, but he's in your face and 
he's got to tell you and he's 

1141
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,520
got to sit on your lap. 
Sometimes he's like, he's got to

1142
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:13,720
hold your arms. 
It's like. 

1143
01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:17,120
Hold your face. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1144
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:19,600
He'll do that too, both cheeks 
and he's just like I got to tell

1145
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:20,760
you this. 
Right now. 

1146
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,440
Finn does that a lot, except he 
will actually take. 

1147
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:27,000
If you're not paying attention, 
he will take his hand and move 

1148
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,480
your face to look at you. 
He wants you to be looking at 

1149
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:32,680
him like you need to pay 
attention. 

1150
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:37,040
And he's not trying to be rude, 
that's just I don't if you know 

1151
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:41,400
anything about autism. 
When Finn first started telling 

1152
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:45,440
us he wanted things, he wouldn't
ask you for what he wanted. 

1153
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:50,080
He would take you to what he 
wanted and just expect you to 

1154
01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:53,240
know what he wanted. 
So now he kind of does the same 

1155
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:58,000
with his with your face pretty 
much and gets very close to you 

1156
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,840
as well. 
He has to know that you're 

1157
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:02,560
listening. 
So just so you know, if Finn is 

1158
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:05,640
ever in his in your personal 
space, he just doesn't 

1159
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:08,480
understand, OK? 
He's not trying to be mean. 

1160
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:14,120
He really just. 
Doesn't understand that could be

1161
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:17,640
said of any other child as well.
You're being very open with us 

1162
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:21,200
about Finn. 
But there are other children in 

1163
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,120
our congregation. 
Maybe they're visiting or maybe 

1164
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:26,840
they're part of our normal 
congregation. 

1165
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:32,160
That may be the same way to just
extend that grace and 

1166
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:34,880
understanding. 
I think it's my desire. 

1167
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:39,720
I want them to all feel loved. 
And every kids different. 

1168
01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:45,680
One kid may be their miscue for 
social cues may be getting too 

1169
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:48,360
close. 
Another kid may be that you 

1170
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,240
can't get within a certain 
distance. 

1171
01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:52,280
This is my space. 
If you get any closer. 

1172
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:55,840
This is that's why I like I 
always in like freaking out like

1173
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:59,720
with Braden, because I'm like he
he's the type that again, there 

1174
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:01,440
is no there is no personal 
space. 

1175
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:04,360
You know, I'm going to be right 
here close up on you. 

1176
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,680
And that's just the way that is.
But then if he gets around a kid

1177
01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:11,080
who has to have at least a three
foot barrier around them, and 

1178
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,880
Brayden doesn't understand that,
then that kids freaking out and 

1179
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,479
then Brayden starts freaking out
and both of them are like, it's 

1180
01:08:16,479 --> 01:08:18,800
like positive and negative, like
what's what's going on? 

1181
01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:23,800
So I, I feel that I'm like, huh,
I just get jump ahead. 

1182
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:27,160
Yeah, I'm like, look, he he's 
not trying to purposely trigger 

1183
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:29,520
your child. 
He just doesn't, you know? 

1184
01:08:30,319 --> 01:08:32,600
That's weird. 
Well, yeah, I think that's hard 

1185
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:36,319
with Finn too, is because he 
wants to be get close to you, 

1186
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:39,399
but he doesn't want you 
necessarily to get close to him.

1187
01:08:39,399 --> 01:08:44,200
It has to be like on his terms. 
And the hand flapping, I think 

1188
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:47,760
sometimes gets people like, 
especially when we're out places

1189
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,160
because people like, don't 
understand. 

1190
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:54,319
And they'll like, be like, oh, 
he's going to hurt my child or 

1191
01:08:54,319 --> 01:08:57,520
something because he does get 
very excited and doesn't have 

1192
01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:01,800
spatial awareness. 
And I think we just all should 

1193
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:04,040
have an open mind. 
And of course, we don't want him

1194
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:08,560
to hurt anyone else's child. 
But also I just think that 

1195
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:14,680
sometimes society as a whole 
looks at it like, oh, like, your

1196
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:16,359
child's weird. 
Why are you doing that? 

1197
01:09:16,359 --> 01:09:22,479
And we need to be more open and 
make children feel more OK to be

1198
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:24,640
themselves. 
Well, most kids are weird, 

1199
01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:27,880
right? 
I mean, I'm weird so I'm going 

1200
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:31,160
to say. 
We live in a world full of yeah.

1201
01:09:32,279 --> 01:09:35,359
I was talking about praise and 
worship and and and and then 

1202
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:40,120
when the other other children 
got baptized last Sunday, you 

1203
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:42,720
know, they brought the Sunday 
school kids up there and watch 

1204
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:45,120
what I think it's great. 
Well, you know, the music was 

1205
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:50,640
bumping and when the sun school 
teachers he was was worshipping 

1206
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:52,560
with fan because fan was jumping
up and down. 

1207
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:54,560
Hey, that's fine. 
Like, you know, I was up there 

1208
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:59,000
with them and so I was just 
observing and you know, hey, I 

1209
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:02,240
let him, you know, let him go. 
But then he started doing hand 

1210
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:04,200
stands off the steps of the 
platforms. 

1211
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:06,720
I had to intervene. 
I fell. 

1212
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:10,000
Like we're getting a little 
carried away. 

1213
01:10:10,440 --> 01:10:13,360
Finn also did say this morning 
he knows how he can and can't 

1214
01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:15,920
dance anymore so. 
Yeah, I was trying to teach. 

1215
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:18,920
Him a little they can't and they
can, you know, but. 

1216
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:23,400
He said I learned not how not to
dance when Daddy got me off. 

1217
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:32,320
True, true. 
So you mentioned for him, it was

1218
01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:35,600
it was hand flapping, how he 
kind of like smells. 

1219
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:38,040
Were there any other kind of 
cues that he might have given 

1220
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:42,040
off that now that you look back,
it's like, oh, that was that was

1221
01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:43,000
something I could have watched 
for. 

1222
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,720
What are some clues that for 
parents who maybe they they, 

1223
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:49,800
they're at that point like is my
kid, you know, what are some 

1224
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:52,200
clues or do you know of to look 
for? 

1225
01:10:55,640 --> 01:11:00,240
Yeah, for Finn it was just loud 
noises when he should have been 

1226
01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:04,760
past that stage of being scared 
of everything, like flushing 

1227
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:09,400
toilets and hand dryers and the 
blender. 

1228
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:15,520
And he's to the point where he 
will not to be TMI, but he will 

1229
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:19,080
literally pee on himself if 
someone flushes the toilet while

1230
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:22,040
he's going to the bathroom or if
it's a self flushing toilet 

1231
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:23,920
because he has to cover his 
ears. 

1232
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:33,360
So he literally cannot stand it.
I know that all some children do

1233
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:36,520
certain skills and then stop 
doing those skills. 

1234
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:40,960
The pediatrician supposed to do 
like a especially at 18 months I

1235
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,440
think or two years a full 
screening. 

1236
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:47,840
But like for Finn, I would also 
tell parents don't answer the 

1237
01:11:47,840 --> 01:11:50,600
questions of the pediatrician 
like you think they can do. 

1238
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:54,800
You need to answer as they are 
doing it because we thought Finn

1239
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:57,960
could do more things and then we
realized, oh wait, he really 

1240
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:01,720
can't do that. 
Like eat with a fork or a spoon 

1241
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:04,400
when he was younger and stuff 
like that. 

1242
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:11,480
Any sensory avoiding and they 
can also be sensory seekers, 

1243
01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:17,040
which means they like to jump 
and crash and they like to feel 

1244
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:22,720
pressure. 
Those are all like the sensory 

1245
01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:27,480
system not being what's typical 
I guess. 

1246
01:12:27,480 --> 01:12:28,400
Regulated. 
Yeah. 

1247
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:31,040
Yeah. 
And also, you know, we with him 

1248
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:35,280
too, he was because he was 
verbal and he still is lost. 

1249
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:39,720
He likes to talk a lot, but he 
was, he learned words pretty 

1250
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:44,520
quickly. 
But as we got, as he got older, 

1251
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:49,400
we hadn't taken the speech 
therapy for quite a few years 

1252
01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:53,040
because he wasn't saying certain
words correctly were certain 

1253
01:12:53,040 --> 01:12:55,240
sounds. 
Certainly, you know, a vowel 

1254
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:59,360
sounds and, and then the fine 
motor skills as you were talking

1255
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:03,320
about, you know, eating with a 
fork and, and, and, and riding. 

1256
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:07,360
He even even now, you know, he 
still struggles with with riding

1257
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:11,120
and he was also seeing signs of 
dyslexia as well. 

1258
01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:15,720
Yeah, he might have some kind of
visual processing going on 

1259
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:19,720
because he's having a very hard 
time when he looks at pages of 

1260
01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:21,680
things, where to start even on 
the page. 

1261
01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:24,840
But. 
And I was just. 

1262
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:31,000
You know, and I think the more 
you do at home, the more you let

1263
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:36,520
them draw, let them write is a 
good way of picking my picking 

1264
01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:38,720
up on it earlier. 
That's because, you know, we 

1265
01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:40,640
thought, hey, you know, he's 
made all his. 

1266
01:13:40,680 --> 01:13:45,680
He met all his milestones like 
he was supposed to develop his 

1267
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:49,000
development, development 
milestones. 

1268
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:52,640
He he met those that they do at 
the pediatrician's office. 

1269
01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:56,080
But as he got a little older 
and, you know, those milestones 

1270
01:13:56,080 --> 01:14:00,240
became quote, UN quote more 
harder, you know, then that's 

1271
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:01,880
when he began to. 
He. 

1272
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:07,360
Also had a if you ever talk to 
Finn, you'll realize he does not

1273
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,680
really do back and forth 
conversation very well. 

1274
01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:12,880
He is going to tell you what he 
wants to tell you, and then he 

1275
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:16,520
kind of checks out. 
Like it's. 

1276
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:21,360
That's very common with autistic
children is they have something 

1277
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:24,680
that they want to say, but they 
don't have back and forth 

1278
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:28,560
conversation very, very well 
because it's on their mind. 

1279
01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:30,960
They say it and then that's it. 
That's it. 

1280
01:14:30,960 --> 01:14:33,360
Yeah, they move on. 
So the biggest thing it sounds 

1281
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:41,280
like really off the RIP is being
open to this possibility that 

1282
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:45,760
your child may be like, they may
be this way, not just this, you 

1283
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:49,040
know, I can't think of in a way 
of being in denial of no, this 

1284
01:14:49,040 --> 01:14:51,240
isn't my kid. 
They don't struggle with this, 

1285
01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:55,640
even though they might. 
And, and just, you know, for a 

1286
01:14:55,640 --> 01:15:00,040
parent, if you, if you're so 
hyper focused on being in denial

1287
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:04,400
of what your kid is or isn't in 
a way, you're, you're possibly 

1288
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:08,760
denying your child the best care
that they might need. 

1289
01:15:09,480 --> 01:15:12,960
So it's better for them for you 
to be open and accepting. 

1290
01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:17,600
And again, not thinking of it as
this taboo. 

1291
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:21,480
You know, I almost likened it to
what, you know, like if you, if 

1292
01:15:21,480 --> 01:15:23,480
you read the Bible and you're 
looking at how they would look 

1293
01:15:23,480 --> 01:15:25,720
at people who were blind or 
deaf, you know, they would all 

1294
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:28,360
like the story where Jesus 
healed the blind man and they 

1295
01:15:28,360 --> 01:15:32,120
go, well, what sin did you 
commit or what did you do wrong 

1296
01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:34,440
to be this way? 
Like there's nothing wrong. 

1297
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:37,680
It's just this was an 
opportunity for God to be able 

1298
01:15:37,680 --> 01:15:42,360
to show himself and like, so it 
sounds like to me as a parent, 

1299
01:15:42,360 --> 01:15:43,840
it's just, it's just being open 
to it. 

1300
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:48,760
Like there's nothing wrong. 
It's just different and, and, 

1301
01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,640
and not being in denial, 
especially when you go to the 

1302
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:54,440
possibility of getting tested or
when you go to the pediatrician 

1303
01:15:54,440 --> 01:15:58,400
or anything like that. 
Just kid may be that way, may 

1304
01:15:58,400 --> 01:16:00,960
not be that way. 
All kids are different. 

1305
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:02,960
None of them are normal. 
Yours just might have a little 

1306
01:16:02,960 --> 01:16:06,080
bit more of an extra layer added
on a personality and just not 

1307
01:16:06,080 --> 01:16:11,120
being in just again, not denying
or trying to lie about where 

1308
01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:12,720
they are. 
I think that's what Brittany 

1309
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:14,840
said that struck me, she said be
honest. 

1310
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:19,840
Just be honest. 
Honesty is going to help with 

1311
01:16:19,840 --> 01:16:23,480
everything. 
And I think just also knowing 

1312
01:16:23,480 --> 01:16:27,920
that if as a parent, you feel 
like something's off, it 

1313
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:30,800
probably is. 
And knowing like, I know you're 

1314
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:33,600
talking about denial, but also I
think sometimes as parents, we 

1315
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:37,320
get caught up like, Oh, well, am
I thinking too far into this? 

1316
01:16:37,640 --> 01:16:40,440
But I think as parents, it's, 
it's OK for us to advocate for 

1317
01:16:40,440 --> 01:16:44,880
our child. 
And if we think something's off,

1318
01:16:44,880 --> 01:16:48,160
to be like, hey, like, can we 
just pursue this a little bit 

1319
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:51,040
further and just have an open 
mind to that? 

1320
01:16:51,240 --> 01:16:53,960
It may be that they need a 
little extra help. 

1321
01:16:53,960 --> 01:16:56,320
It may not, but it's always good
to know. 

1322
01:16:56,360 --> 01:16:58,240
Fight for them. 
Fight for them. 

1323
01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:02,920
Absolutely so. 
I think you've kind of given 

1324
01:17:02,920 --> 01:17:05,320
your opinion, but I kind of want
to highlight on this again, 

1325
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:10,440
your, your instincts as a parent
to your child are going to be 

1326
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:12,800
more in tune. 
And I hope I don't offend 

1327
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:17,040
anybody, but they're going to be
more in tune than your parents 

1328
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:21,320
opinion of your child. 
The grandparents will say that 

1329
01:17:21,320 --> 01:17:23,280
or the friends or the aunt or 
the uncle. 

1330
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:28,920
I've heard, and I've seen a lot 
where mom and dad might think 

1331
01:17:29,760 --> 01:17:34,760
one way, like, hey, we probably 
need to take this step, but then

1332
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:37,320
the grandparent comes in and 
says, no, no, no, no, no, that's

1333
01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:39,680
we don't, you don't do that or 
whatever the case is. 

1334
01:17:39,680 --> 01:17:42,280
And they almost kind of convince
you that your instincts are 

1335
01:17:42,280 --> 01:17:44,120
wrong. 
Like I've seen that. 

1336
01:17:45,240 --> 01:17:48,680
So I, I feel like you've already
kind of said like, no go based 

1337
01:17:48,680 --> 01:17:52,280
on your instincts, but like how 
important is that in itself to 

1338
01:17:52,280 --> 01:17:57,040
to say, hey, look, your 
instincts are they're there for 

1339
01:17:57,040 --> 01:18:00,920
a reason. 
Well, yeah, I mean with Finn, 

1340
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:06,960
I'll just say my family wasn't 
really sure they they were kind 

1341
01:18:06,960 --> 01:18:10,520
of the ones that kept saying 
like, oh, he's just an A typical

1342
01:18:10,520 --> 01:18:14,360
boy, like he's fine. 
There's there's nothing going 

1343
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:17,320
on. 
So I think sometimes as a 

1344
01:18:17,320 --> 01:18:20,640
parent, you just have to not 
listen to that external factors,

1345
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:24,040
it's hard sometimes, especially 
people that took care of you. 

1346
01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:29,560
But as a parent, you know your 
child best, you've been with 

1347
01:18:29,560 --> 01:18:32,400
them, you know them even better 
than the psychologist that maybe

1348
01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:35,640
do the test. 
And that's why they always ask 

1349
01:18:35,640 --> 01:18:40,160
for you to fill out parent 
questionnaires. 

1350
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:44,640
Yeah. 
Well, I'm not going to hold you 

1351
01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:47,960
too much longer. 
Is there any more advice or 

1352
01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,120
anything else you would you 
would say to other parents who 

1353
01:18:51,120 --> 01:18:55,760
may be going through what you've
gone through in any kind of way?

1354
01:18:56,720 --> 01:19:01,240
Just keep going and. 
You know, going back to your 

1355
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:05,360
last question, yeah, you have to
advocate for them. 

1356
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,160
I mean, you are the first line 
of defense. 

1357
01:19:09,280 --> 01:19:14,800
And so that's the most important
thing is, is being their voice, 

1358
01:19:15,480 --> 01:19:18,720
even when you don't know exactly
how that's going to come out or 

1359
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:23,320
how that's going to sound. 
But just just seeking answers 

1360
01:19:23,320 --> 01:19:26,840
and, and don't be afraid to 
reach out for help because we 

1361
01:19:26,840 --> 01:19:29,160
know we're all struggling in our
own way. 

1362
01:19:29,880 --> 01:19:32,840
So yeah, just be, you know, be 
their biggest advocate. 

1363
01:19:34,680 --> 01:19:40,560
I just want to say that I think 
you guys are awesome and I am so

1364
01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:43,320
impressed with how you have 
been. 

1365
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:48,000
I I was overwhelmed with the 
effort and thought that you put 

1366
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:49,480
a defend from the very 
beginning. 

1367
01:19:49,720 --> 01:19:55,320
I was blessed to kind of come in
on it when he was thinking about

1368
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:59,600
preschool. 
And I was just so touched by you

1369
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:03,120
as a mom going so deep within 
you to fight for him. 

1370
01:20:03,640 --> 01:20:07,720
And I could cry right now, but I
think you guys are amazing and I

1371
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:12,800
think God puts very special 
parents with kids that need that

1372
01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:17,440
extra hug. 
So thank you, prayers for you 

1373
01:20:17,480 --> 01:20:22,280
and support for y'all. 
Yeah, anyone's welcome to as 

1374
01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:24,920
Brittany has already voiced, 
anyone's welcome to reach out to

1375
01:20:24,960 --> 01:20:27,680
us. 
Yeah, I mean, and I want to 

1376
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:29,720
thank you as well for coming on 
and being open with me. 

1377
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:33,320
Like I said, when when this, I 
think I was getting the same 

1378
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:36,400
kind of thought for this kind of
style of an episode the same 

1379
01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:39,600
time that she was in like in my 
head, it was just one of those 

1380
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:41,760
things. 
I remember the conversation that

1381
01:20:41,760 --> 01:20:43,680
I was talking to, it was with 
Brooke and mom. 

1382
01:20:43,680 --> 01:20:45,240
We were all at the table and 
they're saying, like, I would 

1383
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:49,760
love to do a podcast episode, 
but make this the topic because 

1384
01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:52,880
it's such a taboo topic and I 
think it needs to be talked 

1385
01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:54,360
about. 
And I think it's something that 

1386
01:20:54,360 --> 01:20:57,440
is important. 
And I don't I forget if it was 

1387
01:20:57,440 --> 01:20:59,800
Brooke or mom or at the same 
time they were like, well, you 

1388
01:20:59,800 --> 01:21:01,560
know who you need to get on, You
know who you talk to. 

1389
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:04,160
I told her I was like, I was 
like, who? 

1390
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:09,000
Because anybody that I've ever 
thought of would like kind of, I

1391
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:11,520
don't want to say like ask them 
like, Hey, can you talk about 

1392
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:12,640
this? 
Because what if they get 

1393
01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:14,440
offended or they get angry and 
they were like, no, you need to 

1394
01:21:14,440 --> 01:21:17,400
go talk to Brittany and Justin 
because they're open about it. 

1395
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:19,920
They're they're. 
The people I told them I was 

1396
01:21:19,920 --> 01:21:22,640
like, I would love for you to do
a podcast on that because I 

1397
01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:26,960
think it is that important and 
I'll tell you who is a fighter 

1398
01:21:26,960 --> 01:21:29,280
for it. 
Well, and I think if we're not 

1399
01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:34,200
open about it, like we haven't 
ever specifically told Finn that

1400
01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:38,080
he has autism, but we're very 
open with him that his thinking 

1401
01:21:38,080 --> 01:21:40,600
may be a little different than 
others because we don't want 

1402
01:21:40,600 --> 01:21:44,760
someone else telling him that. 
We want him to know that it's 

1403
01:21:44,760 --> 01:21:48,600
OK. 
So we do try to be open with it 

1404
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:52,680
because we want him to feel like
maybe I do think a little bit 

1405
01:21:52,680 --> 01:21:57,200
differently, but that's OK. 
Yeah, that's it. 

1406
01:21:57,720 --> 01:22:00,960
It makes it's it's awesome. 
It's really awesome to see. 

1407
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:05,160
And like I said, I just thought 
it was just funny like those 

1408
01:22:05,160 --> 01:22:08,200
that Brooke and mom were both on
the same page and I was like, I 

1409
01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:11,480
kind of want to do this. 
And they were like Brittany 

1410
01:22:11,480 --> 01:22:12,880
breaking ship, get Brittany in 
there. 

1411
01:22:12,880 --> 01:22:16,720
And I was like, OK, well, if if 
she's open to it, like it was 

1412
01:22:16,720 --> 01:22:18,040
really touchy. 
I was like, man, who am I going 

1413
01:22:18,040 --> 01:22:20,240
to talk to? 
Who can I ask or approach about 

1414
01:22:20,240 --> 01:22:22,520
it that won't get offended 
because it has nothing to do 

1415
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:26,400
with like, I don't know, being 
judged. 

1416
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:29,040
It's just, this is something 
that I think is important and 

1417
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:31,240
needs to be talked about. 
Who's willing to talk about it. 

1418
01:22:32,960 --> 01:22:35,440
So I, I want to thank you for 
coming on and for, and for being

1419
01:22:35,440 --> 01:22:38,480
open with us and, and, and being
specific. 

1420
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:41,880
I mean, a lot of these things 
can be down, down deep and, and,

1421
01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:45,080
and close to the heart. 
And hopefully somebody takes 

1422
01:22:45,080 --> 01:22:48,240
this and learns from it and, and
takes the advice and says, well,

1423
01:22:48,240 --> 01:22:50,160
you know, my kid is not, they're
different. 

1424
01:22:50,160 --> 01:22:51,720
They're not different in a bad 
way. 

1425
01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:53,160
They're. 
Different. 

1426
01:22:53,920 --> 01:22:56,560
Yeah, we're just all different 
colors of the same picture. 

1427
01:22:57,840 --> 01:23:00,480
Yes, I believe now more than 
ever this is a ministry that God

1428
01:23:00,480 --> 01:23:04,640
wants to have in the church and 
I think you're propellers of 

1429
01:23:04,640 --> 01:23:12,840
that and and let God use you for
that ministry because it is a 

1430
01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:14,800
big ministry. 
There are a lot of parents that 

1431
01:23:14,800 --> 01:23:19,240
are not going to church because 
of their children and that's not

1432
01:23:19,240 --> 01:23:21,800
OK. 
God said not to deny anybody, 

1433
01:23:22,240 --> 01:23:25,360
let them all come. 
So I do believe that you will be

1434
01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:27,280
a great propeller for this 
ministry.