Thank you for listening to Riverbend Church's podcast.
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connect with us online at Riverbend Church dot live.
I am so happy, so thrilled to be able to gather back together.
Aren't you so absolutely whoever whoever prayed for snow and ice,
congratulations, God answered your prayers.
Now stop. We are so tired of slippery
sidewalks, having to make calls about services, and dripping our
faucets at night, aren't we? But we are so thankful as well
to be able to stay tuned in and plugged in together through
technology and through through streaming.
But there's nothing like coming back together under the same
under the same roof, is there? So if you're with us last
Friday, we pivoted from our Sunday morning service to last
Friday night. If you were with us last Friday
or tuned in with us on Sunday morning for, for our stream, you
know that we continued on in our series called live Well, Live
well. And this morning we're going to
continue on with that. Here's the overall premise.
If you're new to Riverbend, First of all, welcome.
My, my name is Ben. We'd love to get to love to get
to meet you personally. Thank you for choosing to be
here with us. You know, I know that during,
during the the pre pre service announcements, if you were in
here, Julie talked about if you're new to Riverbend, we
would love to connect with you. Probably the easiest, most
efficient way for that to happen is that connect card that you
received on your way in. We promise we do not stalk you.
We do not spam you. We do not make it weird.
We just simply want to connect you with some people, maybe
similar age or stage. Just because we understand how
important relationships are. That also let's us know where to
mail a small gift, thank you gift out into the mail to you.
But to kind of bring us all up to speed, we've been in a series
started back at the beginning of January called Live Well, Live
Well. I'll go ahead and introduce you
to the, to the main truth or what we call the big idea that
we've been revolving around throughout this series.
And it's this. To live well is to live God's
way. Firm in faith, steady and trials
and anchored in hope. Firm in faith, steady and trials
and anchored in hope. And if you think about it,
whether you're new to Riverbend or you call Riverbend home,
whether you're in the room with us or you're joining us online,
I think every single one of us, we're in some type of setting or
context to where being firm in our faith or being steadied in
trials or being anchored in hope is required, right?
So living well doesn't so much have to do with what's going on
around you as much as it is what's got what God is doing in
and through you. What God is doing in and through
you is really the main determiner of whether or not you
and I can truly live well. Again, if you were with us last
weekend, we talked about a component of living well is
living under the authority and how we navigate the authority
that God has has placed over us. Last week I opened up with a,
with a question and it, it, it continues just to be so
applicable and so relevant and, and, and here was the question.
Does anybody really struggle as a follower of Jesus to figure
out how to rightly navigate the current political landscape?
We talked about like last week, we talked about from the movings
and shakings and from Venezuela to Greenland to the World
Economic Forum and Davos and shifting global alliances to to
to ICE and immigration and then even even on into into this week
a highly, highly racist post that went out.
This is all on top of a highly charged political and polarized
environment. Do do you do you wonder how, as
a follower of Jesus, how I'm called to navigate that We we,
we spent time on that last week. What I didn't know last week is
that Sunday morning my parents would be watching that from from
their living room because they they got they got snowed in and
iced him from their church. And when I asked that question,
I don't want to misquote my mom, when I asked my question, this
is what my mom turned to my dad and said, quote, has he lost his
ever loving mind? Has he lost his ever loving
mind? And maybe maybe you wonder the
same thing. And here's what I would tell you
is something that you probably don't know is these messages,
they're actually planned out a year in advance.
They're actually planned out a year in advance.
So where God's Word takes us is where God's Word takes us.
And what I would tell you is this morning, buckle up and
strap in. Because where God's Word is
going to take us this morning is no less controversial than where
we were last week. But I also believe that it has
the potential to bring about the deepest and most lasting change
in our lives and in the lives of our families.
So you may find yourself after we read this passage and maybe
even the first sentence of this passage, you may find yourself
echoing the sentiments of my mom and go, has he lost his ever
loving mind? And the fact of the matter is,
is what we're going to walk through is Scripture.
It's the word of God. So we've got to know what it
says and what it means and how it applies to our lives that all
Scripture, not just our favorite verses, all Scripture is God
breathes and it is helpful for us.
So with that said, I want to invite you, if you have a Bible
with you, find first Peter chapter 3, first Peter chapter 3
and we're going to pick it up in verse one.
Here we go. Likewise, wives, be subject to
your own husband's, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be 1 without a word by the conduct of their wives, when
they see your respectful and pure conduct.
Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair
and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you
wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart,
with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which
in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women
who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to
their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him
Lord. And you are her children, if you
do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Likewise verse 7. Likewise, husbands, live with
your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman
as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace
of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
See what I mean? You may be asking yourself, has
he lost his ever loving mind? Here's what I think is really
important for us to to unpack and for us to understand.
I think if we're really going to understand what what Peter is
writing and what Peter means and what God has for us in this
passage, first and foremost, we need to understand and be very
clear on what Peter's not saying and what God is not
communicating here. So if you're taking notes with
us, I want to walk through 4/4 things that this passage is not
saying. Here's the first one.
This passage is not saying it's not about chauvinism.
It's about shared fulfillment. This is not about chauvinism.
It's not about sexism. It's not about like man being
the superior gender. It's not about chauvinism.
It's about shared fulfillment. I think that we would all agree
that our culture sharply bristles at the words.
Likewise, wives, submit to your own husbands.
And maybe we're here this morning or with us online this
morning. And that phrase, that
terminology, it, it kind of makes you a little squirrely, a
little bit like, you know, that it's there in Scripture.
You're just not really sure. Like, OK, So what do I do with
this? What do I do?
Because our culture so sharply bristles, and I think that we
sharply bristle and we become very uncomfortable with that
verbiage because we have a gross misunderstanding of what God is
communicating to us. You see, this is not about
chauvinism. This is about shared
fulfillment. Let me kind of unpack some key
understandings that we kind of need to get up underneath our
belt to kind of walk through what that even means.
Number one, men and women were both created by God in the image
of God. Number two, men and women are
both of extreme value to God #3 God created marriage for the man
and the woman to come together as one and to walk together in
unison. And in order to walk together in
unison, he has created the husband to lead the family, to
lead his wife in godliness. You see, when there's a
breakdown in any of that understanding, by the way, as a
follower of Jesus, there is no room and there is no space for
chauvinism or sexism at all in any of our minds, in any of our
practices. This is not about chauvinism.
This is about shared fulfillment.
When a husband and wife come together as one and are walking
together in unison and the husband is leading in godliness
and the wife comes up underneath and supports the husband's
leadership in the pursuit of godliness, then both husband and
wife and the family is able to live in shared fulfillment.
Second thing, this passage is not saying it is not about
neglecting appearance. It's about a God shaped heart.
It's not about neglecting appearance.
Remember when Peter talks about like women, do not let your
adorning be external. The braiding of hair or wearing
of jewelry. Some of you husbands were
sitting there going yes, I've got a verse that gets me out of
Valentine's Day. That is not what Peter is
saying. That is not what Peter's saying.
Peter in this passage is not talking about neglecting our
physical appearance. What he is doing is he is
redirecting our focus away from cultural beauty standards to
what God sees is actually beautiful and precious in you.
I think that we would all agree and don't point when I say this.
We would all agree that it is quite possible for someone to be
beautiful on the outside yet ugly on the inside.
We also know that what God cares about the most is the heart to
take it, to shape it, and to form it into one that starts to
resemble and love and care like His.
This is not Peter. This is not God saying to
neglect the external. It is prioritizing the internal.
Third thing this passage is not saying.
It's not about commanding a title.
It's about relational respect. How many of you in your Bibles
have highlighted or underlined as Sarah called her husband
Abraham Lord? Probably not many of us right
now. This is not a command to wives
to refer to their husband as Lord.
Although if Julie does, I'm not going to correct her.
And if you know Julie, you sit there and go.
Fat chance of that. This is not about commanding a
title, is about relational respect.
And here's what I mean by relational respect.
Study after study after study after study has concluded that
men have an innate need within them, within us to feel
respected and believed in to feel respected and believed in.
That means wives, you have God has placed you in a position to
speak life and to speak power into his very veins by looking
wives, by looking at your husband and go, hey, listen, I
just want to let you know I respect you and I believe in
you. You want to talk about giving
your husband speaking something directly into his veins that
will cause him to want to run through a brick wall and make
him think he can conquer the world.
It's a wife looking at her husband.
Say, hey, I just want to let you know and I respect you.
You're an idiot sometimes, but I respect you and I, I believe in
you. And because you know what, you
know that you have the power and the influence to speak that into
his very veins, it's not a bad idea for you to look at your
husband later on today and go, hey, I just want to let you know
I respect you and I believe in you.
Now don't go do something stupid.
This is not this is not about demanding or commanding a title.
It's about relational respect within the context of marriage.
Fourth thing that Peter's not talking about, It's not about
inferiority or frailness. It's about treasured protection.
You know how I said at the very beginning of this passage?
Likewise, likewise, wives submit to your husband's caused us to
kind of bristle a little bit there.
There's some more verbiage at the end of this passage where it
says it refers to the woman as the weaker vessel.
That caused us to bristle a little bit as well.
What does that mean? What does that not mean?
Well, I can tell you as someone who recently started going to
the gym in the mornings, this is not just talking about physical
because sadly, there's a lot of women at that gym.
They're a lot stronger than me. It's not just physical.
What Peter is talking about, what the Holy Spirit of God is
leading Peter to right here. It's not talking about women
being inferior. It's not talking about women
being frail. It's talking about women being
treasured, valuable. It, it, it's almost the imagery
of taking fine China or, or, or or or porcelain or guys, let me
kind of put it, put it on the low shelf for, for us, that
brand new truck or that boat. If you, if you're a collector
of, of sports memorabilia, the, the, the way in which you
protect that sports memorabilia, that that's almost the attitude
that husbands we are to take with our wives, that we don't
view them as weaker vessels as in lesser than.
We view them as very delicate and treasured and and valuable,
which means that as God calls the husband to lead the family
in godliness, we are to lead our wives with gentleness and with
respect and with care. And we're going to come back to
that thought later on. So these are the four things
that this passage is not talking about.
So what is this passage really all about?
In other words, why is it here for us in first Peter and what
is our take away to be like? What are you and I we?
What are we to gain from it? How are we to grow from it and
in and because of it? I think it really all goes back
to the fact that God uses relationships to refine us more
than He uses anything else. It's about being refined by
relationships. Follow on with me in this
thought if you're taking notes with us.
We need to understand that God grows us by removing what harms
us, restoring what's broken in US, and building what's missing
in us. When we talk about it, it's very
easy for us to come into a church setting and just throw
out like Christian phrases or what we would call Christianese
and everybody kind of nods their head, but we're not really sure
on what it really means, right? So we talk about like, hey, God
wants to grow you or I'm being grown in Christ.
What are we talking about? What do, what do we really mean?
Like if someone that had no context whatsoever to church
vernacular, how would we explain what it means that God wants to
grow them, that God is growing you?
Well, it simply means that God takes who we once were and he's
slowly but surely transforming them into who he created us and
desires for us to be. That is how God grows us.
That's the definition of God grows us.
The way in which He does it is really through three primary
categories is he removes what harms us.
He removes from within us the things that harm us.
And what I mean by that is the things that harm us in that
category or or or or or or or sin struggles or sinful habits
or addictions. Maybe it's a prideful sense.
Maybe God needs to remove a prideful sense of independence
within us. This attitude of hey, I've got
it, maybe, maybe it is sexism or racism that that's deeply
rooted. It can be anything and
everything that is within us that is no longer compatible
with the new US that God created us to be.
It could be anything and everything that is in us that is
no, that is not compatible with the heart of God.
God wants to remove that from our lives so that we can
resemble so that our heart can resemble more of his heart.
That's a part of him growing us. A second way that he grows us is
by removing or restoring what's what's broken.
Restoring what's broken. God wants to restore.
Maybe, maybe there was an innocence that was that was
taken away from you. God wants to restore that.
Maybe there there there's a hope that that has been destroyed.
Maybe there was a previous hope in in in your life.
There was a previous hope about you that has been since
destroyed by some maybe unwise or even sinful decisions and
choices that you've made. Maybe there was a joy that used
to be about you that that's been that's been taken from you.
God wants to restore those things in your life, the
innocence and the hope and the joy and many, many other things
God wants to restore in your life.
So God grows us by restoring what's been broken within us.
And then there's a third category that he grows us.
He restores us by building what's missing.
And every single one of us in this room and online, every
single one of us. We have things in our lives that
are missing from our lives. And until God builds those
things up in us, then we can never be who God created us to
be or desires. For us to be what what I mean by
that is, is maybe what God wants to grow in you is a is a hunger
and a thirst to know him even more and to make him known even
more widely like never before. Maybe what's missing within you
that God wants to build up in you is a grace and a mercy
towards others that has never been present, that's never been
a part of your former MO, but it needs to be there and God needs
to build that within you. It can be many, many things that
are missing in you that God needs to build up in you.
And before we go any further, I, I just want to kind of pause and
ask you to reflect on a question.
If God's growing us through these three categories and God
desires to grow every single word of us, which he does, how
would you just between you and God?
How would how do you sense that God is growing you right now,
this morning in this stage and season of your life?
Do you sense that God is growing you by removing the things in
you that are no longer compatible with his heart?
Do you sense that that God is growing you by restoring what
what was previously broken? And if So, what is specifically
what's he restoring? Do you sense that God is growing
you by building in you what's missing in your life?
And if so, like what? What is he building within you?
What's he building within you? Whatever it may be, however you
may define that, however you may sense God is growing you,
whether it's removing what harms or restoring what's broken or
building what's missing, chances are very good that that growth
in you is probably not happening in isolation.
Is it? Here's why #2 for taking notes
with us. Relationships are both God's
main tool for shaping us and the main place that shaping becomes
visible. Relationships are his main tool
for shaping us and also the main arena in which that shaping
becomes most evident. Going back to first Peter 3
verse one, did you pick up the the first word?
It's, it's at the top of your of your note sheet.
Print at the top of your note sheet.
It's the word. Likewise here here's here's the
importance of that word. It tells us even though first
Peter 31 is the beginning of a passage, first Peter 31 is also
a continuation of a context that's going on throughout
Peter's letter to the Christians spread throughout the Roman
Empire, modern day Asia Minor that were suffering through
persecution of the state. If you look back at first Peter
2, you can see where God is is, is teaching us and he's giving
us his commands of how as a follower of Jesus, we're to be
in relationship with authority. If you keep reading in the
latter part of First Peter chapter 2, you can read how
Peter kind of unpacked for the early Christians, how they're to
be in relationship with their supervisors or their employers.
And here by the time we get to 1st Peter 31, he's talking about
how you and I are to be in relationship with our spouse.
And if you think about it, it really does make a lot of sense,
right? Whether whether it's through the
arena of being a citizen, an employee, or a spouse, our
relationships with one another are the primary arena into which
you and I can really apply the teachings and the words and the
truth of Scripture. And not only that, we can also
use that as a pretty good and pretty significant self
diagnostic of the work that God has done and the work that He
still needs to do in and through US.
Here's what I mean. It's, it's in the context of
relationships that we can look at, like how we talk to people,
how we see people, how we treat people, how we pray for people.
And you know, we've said this before, it's the people like
you, it's the people not like you.
It's the people who like you. It's the people that don't like
you. It's the people who think and
believe and vote like you. And it's the people that don't
believe or think or vote like you.
It's everyone relationships, the relationships that are in mind
in your life are the primary arena to which we can apply the
truth of God's word. They're also going to be the
primary arena that that change and that transformation is most
evident in US. You ever, you ever, you ever
been in a work relationship to where there was somebody that
was just really hard to love and you're like, man, I don't even
like them, much less love them. Yeah.
You ever been in a, in a work relationship to where for so
long and, and, and, and there's been a journey of God growing
you, whether that's removing what harms or, or restoring
what's broken or building what's missing.
And the person that you just kind of like really just
constantly butted heads with in the kindest of ways, looked at
you and said, Hey, I don't want you to get a big head, but
you're not nearly as big of a jerk as you used to be.
That's affirmation of God's growth in you.
Relationships are the primary arena in which God refines us
and grows us, and they're also the primary arena which that
growth is most evident. You may say, OK, what does that
have to do with this text #3 there's no relationship that
shapes us like marriage. There's no relationship that
shapes us like marriage. That is not at all a negative
statement. That is not at all meant to take
on a negative connotation. It is just an acknowledgement
that when you have two independent people, a man and a
woman, a husband and a wife coming together in marriage that
are used to doing their own thing in their own way, in their
own timing, with now the shared goal of walking together in
unison. Let's just say that sometimes
friction happens and it's through the friction that God
can most shape our faith. It's through the friction that
God can most shape our faith. I haven't even mentioned and
we're talking about two people coming together as one, walking
in unison, used to doing their own thing in their own way, in
their own time. Haven't even mentioned the fact
that you have two people that are bringing in their own
habits, their own baggage and their own sin.
And to the equation, I can't tell you how many times that
I've sat down and and done counselling with marriage
counselling with couples. And it's not that they said this
out loud, but they pretty much, it's very obvious that they came
into marriage assuming something that was completely wrong.
This was the assumption. And maybe maybe you think this
right now and it's really good that we kind of get this out of
the way. They assume that magically and
mystically, the husband, once they get married, the husband
will fix all the issues in the wife.
She really believes that and the husband really believes that
hey, all of my baggage, my wife, once we get married, my wife,
she's going to fix that. You know the you complete me,
not a Bible verse. Listen, marriage is not like
math 2. Negatives don't make a positive.
In actuality, here's what happens.
You got double the baggage, you got the double the baggage.
So of course, marriage gets really complicated.
It gets really complicated and it gets really hard.
Listen, there's many more statements that I could have
written about this, but here's the gist.
Marriage exposes our selfishness faster than anything else.
By the way, when I go down these don't elbow each other and look
at each other goes he's talking to you.
Marriage exposes our selfishness faster than anything else.
Marriage reveals what's really in our hearts under pressure.
Marriage makes evident our need for God's grace in US and growth
of us. Listen, and all this is to take
place. God's plan for us is all to take
place over the long haul. It's no wonder that there's no
relationship that refines us more, that God uses more to
shape us like marriage. So here's what I want to do is
we turn to go on the final lap this morning.
I want to speak first of all to, to, to wives.
I'm going to speak to wives and then I want to speak to
husbands. What does God have for you this
morning? What does God want your take
away to be this morning? First of all, you are seen.
You were loved, you were valuable, and you were
treasured. And I hope, if you're married, I
hope, I hope, I hope, I hope that your husband makes you feel
that way and remind you of that. But if not, never allow the
failings of a man to diminish who you are to the king.
Never allow the failings of a man to diminish who you are to
the king. Second, God wants to grow you.
God loves you so much. There's an old, old saying, but
it's so very true. God loves you so much and he
loves you just the way that you are, but he loves you too much
to leave to leave you that way. It's an old Henry Blackaby
statement. So ladies, in the house with us
wives, God has great plans for you.
God loves you. God wants to grow you, and God
wants to use you. God wants to use you exactly
where you are, and he wants to use the influence that he wants
to build in you. You see what we're saying here
is Christ like character to the wives.
Christ like character creates Christ centered influence.
You see, you will start to notice when God grows you,
whether it is through removing what's harmful from within you,
restoring what's broken or building what's missing.
What will take those things place?
The harmful, the missing and the broken.
What will take those that place will be things like an enhanced
love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and
gentleness and self-control. Can I just offer something up to
the to the wives this morning in the room and online.
The influence that you have over your husband is far greater by
exhibiting Christ like influence and he will be much more open to
experiencing the relationship that you have with God for
himself through your Christ like influence then constant
confrontation then from critique.
Listen, no one, no one was ever argued to the cross of Jesus.
The invitation of Jesus is always extended through grace
and invitation. Listen, things like constant
confrontation and critique can easily be ignored.
A changed life is undeniable. So Christ like character leads
to Christ centered influence. Second message to the ladies
Submission. Submission is really confidence
in God. Submission is confidence in God.
Submission is not about being controlled by your husband.
Submission has nothing to do with checking your heart or your
brain at the door and blindly following.
The blind. Submission is you realizing that
as much as you love your husband, God loves your husband
even more. And as much as you desire your
husband to know him and to follow him, God desires that
even more. And as much as you want God, as
much as you want your husband to take the godly lead in your home
and over your family, God not only desires that more, but
through the power of the Holy Spirit, He is capable of
bringing that about. Submission is confidence and
faith in God. Submission is not about
suppression. Here's an exercise for you
ladies, for your wives, maybe today.
Don't tell your husband that you're doing this.
Maybe sometime today, maybe it's at lunch, maybe it's at dinner,
maybe it's sometime in between. Before you go to bed, I want you
just to look at your husband. Don't say anything on the
outside, but pray on the inside. God, I believe you got this.
Just look at your husband and say, God, I believe you got
this. Do you know what your husband's
going to think? He's going to catch you looking
at him and he's probably going to think.
I bet she's thinking about how lucky she is to have me.
Listen, let him to go ahead and think that.
Let him go ahead and think that. But you know, between you and
God, God, I believe that you got this.
I believe that you got this man. I believe that you love him,
that you desire good for him. You desire good for our home and
for our family. I believe that you got this.
You do what I can never do, but God, you help me to continue to
be faithful to you. Now, before we move on to the
husband, I want to address very quickly a subset of ladies.
And here's this, here's the subset.
It's those that may be asking the question then what if I am
married to an unbeliever? What if my husband's not a
Christian? Or what if my husband says that
he's a Christian, but he is most definitely not leading our home
and our family and godliness. I believe that there's some of
us in this room and online that that that is our question when
we're talking about this. You're sitting there going, Ben,
I would love to be obedient to first Peter four or first Peter
three one through 7. I would love for my husband to
follow God and to grow in godliness and to lead our
family, but he is not there yet. Let me tell you, if that is you,
make no mistake about it. You are not alone.
As a matter of fact, you were part of the subset audience that
Peter's writing this letter to in the 1st place.
Here's a couple. Here's a couple of words of
advice. If you find yourself in that
subset of wives, remember that you have an authentic
relationship with Jesus that is independent of your relationship
with your husband. Your relationship with Jesus
comes first. Your relationship with Jesus is
not determined by your relationship with your husband.
Your relationship with your husband is not dependent upon
your relationship with Jesus #2 do everything that you can to
honor your husband's leadership. And here's what I mean.
Wives, remember how we went back and said that there's an innate
need that was created within every man to be respected and
believed in? Wives, you may, you may need to
dig really, really deep, but acknowledge that leadership,
acknowledge and maybe even call out things within your husband's
life, within his character, within his leadership.
Remind your husband that listen, my relationship with God, my
relationship with God actually allows me to love you more and
to love you better. And that's why I want you to
experience that relationship with God so that you can
experience his love and so that you can you can love us more and
you can love us better. A relationship with God never
takes away from us. It always grows US and enhances
us #3 If you find yourself in that subset of of wives this
morning, know that there are there's biblical grounds to
submissively say no to your husband.
If what your husband is asking you to do or be involved in
violates the word of God, is a sin or leads to sin, then your
ultimate allegiance is to your King and that's God.
Never forget, however, you have immense influence in the life of
your husband. And even though if your
husband's not a believer or walking or leading in godliness,
even though your marriage may not be all that it can be or
that it could be if he were, that does not mean that does not
mean that you do not have an impactful place in the Kingdom
of God. So ma'am, you keep serving wife,
you keep serving. You just keep being faithful to
Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to do what only the Holy Spirit
can do in your husband's heart. Now to the husbands.
There's a lot of verbage here in first Peter 3 devoted to the
wives. However, the weight of leading
your family and your wife in godliness is very clear in
Scripture, and it is no lightweight at all.
As a matter of fact, the apostle Paul writes in the book of
Ephesians, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church
and gave himself up for her. How did Jesus love?
Jesus loved so much that he gave himself sacrificially.
He poured himself out. He gave up his own life.
Here's what that means husbands, our role as a husband, as the as
the leader within our homes and leading our homes, leading our
wives in godliness involves speaking life into our wife and
raising our wife up and and and and championing like what God is
doing in and through her. It's actually talking to her and
listening to her and listening in a way that you're not
immediately wanting to jump to conclusions.
That's something that I. I learned a few years ago, I
remember Julie and I, we were talking in our in our in our
dining room one night and she was telling me about some
things. And I said, OK, here's what you
probably need to do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I thought it was great advice.
And she looked at me. She goes, I'm not telling you
this to give me a solution. I just want you to listen.
So in my great pastoral wisdom, I looked at her and goes that
makes no sense at all. But then the more I started
thinking about I go, you know what I I need to listen to her.
Date your wife, treasure your wife, pray with and for your
wife. Lead your wife.
Some of you men you may be thinking room online.
That pastor's asked me to turn in my man card.
Well, first of all, Sir, if your man card is described as
anything that's not of God's word will and ways, you should
have shredded that man card up a long time ago.
And second of all, your wife and your kids and your family, they
don't need you to be less of a man.
As a matter of fact, they need you to be more of a man.
They need you to be the man that God created you to be and
desires for you to be. It's not just a desire of
theirs, it's a need of theirs. Final message to to Mim this
whole issue, this whole issue, biblical leadership about being,
it's about honor and not harshness.
Second thing that I would tell you is home is where your faith
is proven. Did you know that it's quite
possible to fool a lot of people at work into thinking you're
something or someone that you're not?
And it's very easy to to, to, to fool people at church into
making you think that or making them think you're something or
someone that you're not. Do you know who really knows the
real you? It's your wife and your kids.
Why? Because home is where your faith
is really proven. Home is where you let your guard
down. Home is where you're most
authentically you. Home is where you can honestly
have the question. Is there a disconnect between
who I say that I am and who the people closest to me really know
me to be? Home is where that question can
be really answered. Let me tell you something to the
husbands, to the men. If you win in every area of
life, yet you lose, at home, you lose.
If you win in every area of life yet you lose at home, you lose.
So how do you win at home? You stay submitted to God.
Submission is not just for wives.
Submission is for all of us. Husband's staying submitted to
the will and the ways and the Word of God.
Spending time with God in His Word, knowing what He says.
Spending time with God in prayer, knowing how He's
directing you, changing you from the inside out.
Being a husband is not being harsh.
Being a husband is about honoring your wife.
Faith. Your home is where your faith is
most proven. So here's what I want us to do.
So what do we do with all of this this morning?
What is our application? I want to guide just kind of the
different the different sections or the different categories of
us in the room and with us online this morning when he walk
you through some questions. First one to wives.
Wives, in what specific ways does your husband need you to
pray for him? Wives, in what specific ways
does your husband need you to pray for him?
Husbands, in what specific ways does your wife need you to lead
her? Singles, I haven't forgotten
about you. Singles, hopefully this morning
through the context of first Peter three one through 7, it
gives you a very good idea of what you need to pray and pray
for in a future husband or a future spouse.
But here's the question for you. Singles, in what specific ways
do I need to prepare myself now for the husband or the wife that
I will need to be later on? If you're single with us, you're
in a time of preparation. Don't squander the time of
preparation. Here's how I want to end our
time. I think that a lot of times, and
if you've been at Riverbend for any measure of time, you know
that we say this quite often. It's not just about information,
it's about an invitation. I'm we're going to end our time
this morning and I'm going to ask you to do something Maybe
this this uncomfortable to you. And even though it may be
uncomfortable, I think it's a complete game changer.
I'm going to end our time in prayer and then we're going to
open up the time of response. And husbands, I'm going to ask
that you would just grab your wife's hand, lead her down and
pray with her and to pray for her.
If you're with us this morning and you're single, I'm going to
ask that you come down and that you pray.
God, would you lead this kind of husband or this kind of wife
into my life? And God, until then, would you
create within me the type of husband or the type of wife that
I need to be? If you're with us this morning
and you're by yourself, your husband or your wife isn't here
with you, I'm going to encourage you to come down, pray for them,
pray for them by name, and pray that God would give you the
guidance, the Holy Spirit guidance to be exactly who you
need to be and to have confidence and faith in Him.
We're good. Let me go ahead and pray.
God, we love you and we thank you for the fact that you do not
leave us where we are. God, you want to grow every
single one of us. You love every single one of us.
God, your plan for every single one of us is for the good.
God, we also acknowledge that your primary arena in which you
grow us, in which you refine us, is through relationships.
God, there's no other relationship that shapes us,
that grows us, that refines us, that makes our need for you most
evident and obvious than marriage.
God, it is a gift that you have given us.
God, I pray that you would bring breakthroughs in marriage.
I pray that you would bring healing.
I pray that you would bring restoration.
God, I pray for the men, for the husbands in this room.
God, that they would continue to lead in godliness.
God, if they are not currently leading in godliness, God, that
you would light a Holy Spirit Spirit fire up underneath them
and within them a passion and a hunger and a thirst to know you
more and to experience you more and to lead their family in a
way that knows you and experiences you more.
God, I pray that you would bring healing.
I pray that you would bring breakthrough.
I pray that you would bring restoration this morning as we
pray together to you. And it's in Jesus name that we
pray. Amen.
Thank you for listening to Riverbend Church's podcast.
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connect with us online at Riverbend Church dot live.