1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,200 Thank you for listening to Riverbend Church's podcast. 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,560 To find out more about this message or Riverbend Church, 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,920 connect with us online at Riverbend Church dot live. 4 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:26,360 I am so happy, so thrilled to be able to gather back together. 5 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:34,640 Aren't you so absolutely whoever whoever prayed for snow and ice, 6 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,760 congratulations, God answered your prayers. 7 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,560 Now stop. We are so tired of slippery 8 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,800 sidewalks, having to make calls about services, and dripping our 9 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,560 faucets at night, aren't we? But we are so thankful as well 10 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:53,280 to be able to stay tuned in and plugged in together through 11 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,960 technology and through through streaming. 12 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,800 But there's nothing like coming back together under the same 13 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,560 under the same roof, is there? So if you're with us last 14 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,200 Friday, we pivoted from our Sunday morning service to last 15 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,400 Friday night. If you were with us last Friday 16 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,800 or tuned in with us on Sunday morning for, for our stream, you 17 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:18,160 know that we continued on in our series called live Well, Live 18 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,280 well. And this morning we're going to 19 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,160 continue on with that. Here's the overall premise. 20 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,640 If you're new to Riverbend, First of all, welcome. 21 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,040 My, my name is Ben. We'd love to get to love to get 22 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,520 to meet you personally. Thank you for choosing to be 23 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,840 here with us. You know, I know that during, 24 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,560 during the the pre pre service announcements, if you were in 25 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,760 here, Julie talked about if you're new to Riverbend, we 26 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,960 would love to connect with you. Probably the easiest, most 27 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,720 efficient way for that to happen is that connect card that you 28 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,640 received on your way in. We promise we do not stalk you. 29 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,880 We do not spam you. We do not make it weird. 30 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,800 We just simply want to connect you with some people, maybe 31 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,360 similar age or stage. Just because we understand how 32 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,360 important relationships are. That also let's us know where to 33 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,160 mail a small gift, thank you gift out into the mail to you. 34 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,479 But to kind of bring us all up to speed, we've been in a series 35 00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:13,200 started back at the beginning of January called Live Well, Live 36 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,240 Well. I'll go ahead and introduce you 37 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,360 to the, to the main truth or what we call the big idea that 38 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,360 we've been revolving around throughout this series. 39 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,840 And it's this. To live well is to live God's 40 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,680 way. Firm in faith, steady and trials 41 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,400 and anchored in hope. Firm in faith, steady and trials 42 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,240 and anchored in hope. And if you think about it, 43 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,720 whether you're new to Riverbend or you call Riverbend home, 44 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,600 whether you're in the room with us or you're joining us online, 45 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,560 I think every single one of us, we're in some type of setting or 46 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:43,040 context to where being firm in our faith or being steadied in 47 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,520 trials or being anchored in hope is required, right? 48 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:51,480 So living well doesn't so much have to do with what's going on 49 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,440 around you as much as it is what's got what God is doing in 50 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,760 and through you. What God is doing in and through 51 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,240 you is really the main determiner of whether or not you 52 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:05,680 and I can truly live well. Again, if you were with us last 53 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:10,080 weekend, we talked about a component of living well is 54 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,080 living under the authority and how we navigate the authority 55 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,320 that God has has placed over us. Last week I opened up with a, 56 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:22,640 with a question and it, it, it continues just to be so 57 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,840 applicable and so relevant and, and, and here was the question. 58 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:34,160 Does anybody really struggle as a follower of Jesus to figure 59 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,560 out how to rightly navigate the current political landscape? 60 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,000 We talked about like last week, we talked about from the movings 61 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,480 and shakings and from Venezuela to Greenland to the World 62 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:52,760 Economic Forum and Davos and shifting global alliances to to 63 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:58,200 to ICE and immigration and then even even on into into this week 64 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:04,240 a highly, highly racist post that went out. 65 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:10,440 This is all on top of a highly charged political and polarized 66 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:15,240 environment. Do do you do you wonder how, as 67 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:19,200 a follower of Jesus, how I'm called to navigate that We we, 68 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:24,720 we spent time on that last week. What I didn't know last week is 69 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:29,320 that Sunday morning my parents would be watching that from from 70 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,000 their living room because they they got they got snowed in and 71 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,600 iced him from their church. And when I asked that question, 72 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,160 I don't want to misquote my mom, when I asked my question, this 73 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,880 is what my mom turned to my dad and said, quote, has he lost his 74 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:48,920 ever loving mind? Has he lost his ever loving 75 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,920 mind? And maybe maybe you wonder the 76 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,480 same thing. And here's what I would tell you 77 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,360 is something that you probably don't know is these messages, 78 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,920 they're actually planned out a year in advance. 79 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,160 They're actually planned out a year in advance. 80 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,240 So where God's Word takes us is where God's Word takes us. 81 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,840 And what I would tell you is this morning, buckle up and 82 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,880 strap in. Because where God's Word is 83 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,800 going to take us this morning is no less controversial than where 84 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:24,360 we were last week. But I also believe that it has 85 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,800 the potential to bring about the deepest and most lasting change 86 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,040 in our lives and in the lives of our families. 87 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,720 So you may find yourself after we read this passage and maybe 88 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:41,440 even the first sentence of this passage, you may find yourself 89 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,520 echoing the sentiments of my mom and go, has he lost his ever 90 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,240 loving mind? And the fact of the matter is, 91 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,040 is what we're going to walk through is Scripture. 92 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:54,760 It's the word of God. So we've got to know what it 93 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,920 says and what it means and how it applies to our lives that all 94 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,480 Scripture, not just our favorite verses, all Scripture is God 95 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,640 breathes and it is helpful for us. 96 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,320 So with that said, I want to invite you, if you have a Bible 97 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:13,000 with you, find first Peter chapter 3, first Peter chapter 3 98 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,160 and we're going to pick it up in verse one. 99 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,640 Here we go. Likewise, wives, be subject to 100 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:26,480 your own husband's, so that even if some do not obey the word, 101 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:31,800 they may be 1 without a word by the conduct of their wives, when 102 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,200 they see your respectful and pure conduct. 103 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,080 Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair 104 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,240 and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you 105 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,960 wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, 106 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,920 with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which 107 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:54,800 in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women 108 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,640 who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to 109 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,480 their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him 110 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,280 Lord. And you are her children, if you 111 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:08,720 do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 112 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,000 Likewise verse 7. Likewise, husbands, live with 113 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,480 your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman 114 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:19,920 as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace 115 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:26,040 of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 116 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,320 See what I mean? You may be asking yourself, has 117 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,360 he lost his ever loving mind? Here's what I think is really 118 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,600 important for us to to unpack and for us to understand. 119 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,160 I think if we're really going to understand what what Peter is 120 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,200 writing and what Peter means and what God has for us in this 121 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,400 passage, first and foremost, we need to understand and be very 122 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,000 clear on what Peter's not saying and what God is not 123 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,240 communicating here. So if you're taking notes with 124 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:59,160 us, I want to walk through 4/4 things that this passage is not 125 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,720 saying. Here's the first one. 126 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,480 This passage is not saying it's not about chauvinism. 127 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,720 It's about shared fulfillment. This is not about chauvinism. 128 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,640 It's not about sexism. It's not about like man being 129 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,760 the superior gender. It's not about chauvinism. 130 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,760 It's about shared fulfillment. I think that we would all agree 131 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,720 that our culture sharply bristles at the words. 132 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,360 Likewise, wives, submit to your own husbands. 133 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,560 And maybe we're here this morning or with us online this 134 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,520 morning. And that phrase, that 135 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:33,760 terminology, it, it kind of makes you a little squirrely, a 136 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,039 little bit like, you know, that it's there in Scripture. 137 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,640 You're just not really sure. Like, OK, So what do I do with 138 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:41,880 this? What do I do? 139 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,080 Because our culture so sharply bristles, and I think that we 140 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,600 sharply bristle and we become very uncomfortable with that 141 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:54,880 verbiage because we have a gross misunderstanding of what God is 142 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,760 communicating to us. You see, this is not about 143 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,040 chauvinism. This is about shared 144 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,120 fulfillment. Let me kind of unpack some key 145 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,280 understandings that we kind of need to get up underneath our 146 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:12,360 belt to kind of walk through what that even means. 147 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:17,760 Number one, men and women were both created by God in the image 148 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,200 of God. Number two, men and women are 149 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:30,000 both of extreme value to God #3 God created marriage for the man 150 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:35,760 and the woman to come together as one and to walk together in 151 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,760 unison. And in order to walk together in 152 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:45,240 unison, he has created the husband to lead the family, to 153 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:50,600 lead his wife in godliness. You see, when there's a 154 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,080 breakdown in any of that understanding, by the way, as a 155 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:58,400 follower of Jesus, there is no room and there is no space for 156 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:03,680 chauvinism or sexism at all in any of our minds, in any of our 157 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:07,000 practices. This is not about chauvinism. 158 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,680 This is about shared fulfillment. 159 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:13,160 When a husband and wife come together as one and are walking 160 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:18,200 together in unison and the husband is leading in godliness 161 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,200 and the wife comes up underneath and supports the husband's 162 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,440 leadership in the pursuit of godliness, then both husband and 163 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:31,760 wife and the family is able to live in shared fulfillment. 164 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,720 Second thing, this passage is not saying it is not about 165 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:40,080 neglecting appearance. It's about a God shaped heart. 166 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,320 It's not about neglecting appearance. 167 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,640 Remember when Peter talks about like women, do not let your 168 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,760 adorning be external. The braiding of hair or wearing 169 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,760 of jewelry. Some of you husbands were 170 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,560 sitting there going yes, I've got a verse that gets me out of 171 00:10:55,560 --> 00:11:01,000 Valentine's Day. That is not what Peter is 172 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,960 saying. That is not what Peter's saying. 173 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:11,000 Peter in this passage is not talking about neglecting our 174 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,640 physical appearance. What he is doing is he is 175 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:21,040 redirecting our focus away from cultural beauty standards to 176 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,600 what God sees is actually beautiful and precious in you. 177 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:30,200 I think that we would all agree and don't point when I say this. 178 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:34,000 We would all agree that it is quite possible for someone to be 179 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,120 beautiful on the outside yet ugly on the inside. 180 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:44,360 We also know that what God cares about the most is the heart to 181 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,680 take it, to shape it, and to form it into one that starts to 182 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:52,760 resemble and love and care like His. 183 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,400 This is not Peter. This is not God saying to 184 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:02,440 neglect the external. It is prioritizing the internal. 185 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,800 Third thing this passage is not saying. 186 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,200 It's not about commanding a title. 187 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:13,360 It's about relational respect. How many of you in your Bibles 188 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,920 have highlighted or underlined as Sarah called her husband 189 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,480 Abraham Lord? Probably not many of us right 190 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,240 now. This is not a command to wives 191 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,120 to refer to their husband as Lord. 192 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,080 Although if Julie does, I'm not going to correct her. 193 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:33,120 And if you know Julie, you sit there and go. 194 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,360 Fat chance of that. This is not about commanding a 195 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,080 title, is about relational respect. 196 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,840 And here's what I mean by relational respect. 197 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,800 Study after study after study after study has concluded that 198 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:53,200 men have an innate need within them, within us to feel 199 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:58,080 respected and believed in to feel respected and believed in. 200 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:03,400 That means wives, you have God has placed you in a position to 201 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:10,720 speak life and to speak power into his very veins by looking 202 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,640 wives, by looking at your husband and go, hey, listen, I 203 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,840 just want to let you know I respect you and I believe in 204 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,280 you. You want to talk about giving 205 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,920 your husband speaking something directly into his veins that 206 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,640 will cause him to want to run through a brick wall and make 207 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,080 him think he can conquer the world. 208 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,440 It's a wife looking at her husband. 209 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,360 Say, hey, I just want to let you know and I respect you. 210 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:38,520 You're an idiot sometimes, but I respect you and I, I believe in 211 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,840 you. And because you know what, you 212 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,600 know that you have the power and the influence to speak that into 213 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:50,640 his very veins, it's not a bad idea for you to look at your 214 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,920 husband later on today and go, hey, I just want to let you know 215 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,840 I respect you and I believe in you. 216 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,400 Now don't go do something stupid. 217 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:06,400 This is not this is not about demanding or commanding a title. 218 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:11,120 It's about relational respect within the context of marriage. 219 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,520 Fourth thing that Peter's not talking about, It's not about 220 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:19,080 inferiority or frailness. It's about treasured protection. 221 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,960 You know how I said at the very beginning of this passage? 222 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:27,760 Likewise, likewise, wives submit to your husband's caused us to 223 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,280 kind of bristle a little bit there. 224 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,680 There's some more verbiage at the end of this passage where it 225 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,480 says it refers to the woman as the weaker vessel. 226 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,320 That caused us to bristle a little bit as well. 227 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,080 What does that mean? What does that not mean? 228 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:46,120 Well, I can tell you as someone who recently started going to 229 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,120 the gym in the mornings, this is not just talking about physical 230 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,520 because sadly, there's a lot of women at that gym. 231 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,040 They're a lot stronger than me. It's not just physical. 232 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:01,000 What Peter is talking about, what the Holy Spirit of God is 233 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:06,160 leading Peter to right here. It's not talking about women 234 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,760 being inferior. It's not talking about women 235 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,280 being frail. It's talking about women being 236 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:16,880 treasured, valuable. It, it, it's almost the imagery 237 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:23,200 of taking fine China or, or, or or or porcelain or guys, let me 238 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,920 kind of put it, put it on the low shelf for, for us, that 239 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:31,600 brand new truck or that boat. If you, if you're a collector 240 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,800 of, of sports memorabilia, the, the, the way in which you 241 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:39,200 protect that sports memorabilia, that that's almost the attitude 242 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,760 that husbands we are to take with our wives, that we don't 243 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,800 view them as weaker vessels as in lesser than. 244 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:54,440 We view them as very delicate and treasured and and valuable, 245 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:58,600 which means that as God calls the husband to lead the family 246 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:04,000 in godliness, we are to lead our wives with gentleness and with 247 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:08,200 respect and with care. And we're going to come back to 248 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,800 that thought later on. So these are the four things 249 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,440 that this passage is not talking about. 250 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,680 So what is this passage really all about? 251 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:23,080 In other words, why is it here for us in first Peter and what 252 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,760 is our take away to be like? What are you and I we? 253 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,920 What are we to gain from it? How are we to grow from it and 254 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:35,240 in and because of it? I think it really all goes back 255 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:41,360 to the fact that God uses relationships to refine us more 256 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,440 than He uses anything else. It's about being refined by 257 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,880 relationships. Follow on with me in this 258 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,880 thought if you're taking notes with us. 259 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,840 We need to understand that God grows us by removing what harms 260 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,280 us, restoring what's broken in US, and building what's missing 261 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:00,800 in us. When we talk about it, it's very 262 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,760 easy for us to come into a church setting and just throw 263 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,720 out like Christian phrases or what we would call Christianese 264 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,520 and everybody kind of nods their head, but we're not really sure 265 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,000 on what it really means, right? So we talk about like, hey, God 266 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,319 wants to grow you or I'm being grown in Christ. 267 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,000 What are we talking about? What do, what do we really mean? 268 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:25,440 Like if someone that had no context whatsoever to church 269 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,880 vernacular, how would we explain what it means that God wants to 270 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,240 grow them, that God is growing you? 271 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:37,720 Well, it simply means that God takes who we once were and he's 272 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:42,800 slowly but surely transforming them into who he created us and 273 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:47,400 desires for us to be. That is how God grows us. 274 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,920 That's the definition of God grows us. 275 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,160 The way in which He does it is really through three primary 276 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:57,840 categories is he removes what harms us. 277 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,360 He removes from within us the things that harm us. 278 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,560 And what I mean by that is the things that harm us in that 279 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:09,520 category or or or or or or or sin struggles or sinful habits 280 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,400 or addictions. Maybe it's a prideful sense. 281 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:17,480 Maybe God needs to remove a prideful sense of independence 282 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,320 within us. This attitude of hey, I've got 283 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:26,480 it, maybe, maybe it is sexism or racism that that's deeply 284 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,280 rooted. It can be anything and 285 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:32,280 everything that is within us that is no longer compatible 286 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,480 with the new US that God created us to be. 287 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,920 It could be anything and everything that is in us that is 288 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,880 no, that is not compatible with the heart of God. 289 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:46,800 God wants to remove that from our lives so that we can 290 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,760 resemble so that our heart can resemble more of his heart. 291 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,040 That's a part of him growing us. A second way that he grows us is 292 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,000 by removing or restoring what's what's broken. 293 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:02,160 Restoring what's broken. God wants to restore. 294 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,440 Maybe, maybe there was an innocence that was that was 295 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,680 taken away from you. God wants to restore that. 296 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,000 Maybe there there there's a hope that that has been destroyed. 297 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,840 Maybe there was a previous hope in in in your life. 298 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:21,040 There was a previous hope about you that has been since 299 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,040 destroyed by some maybe unwise or even sinful decisions and 300 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,040 choices that you've made. Maybe there was a joy that used 301 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:35,240 to be about you that that's been that's been taken from you. 302 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,400 God wants to restore those things in your life, the 303 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,320 innocence and the hope and the joy and many, many other things 304 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,840 God wants to restore in your life. 305 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:51,480 So God grows us by restoring what's been broken within us. 306 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,640 And then there's a third category that he grows us. 307 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,600 He restores us by building what's missing. 308 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,640 And every single one of us in this room and online, every 309 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,640 single one of us. We have things in our lives that 310 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,680 are missing from our lives. And until God builds those 311 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,640 things up in us, then we can never be who God created us to 312 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:14,440 be or desires. For us to be what what I mean by 313 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:20,400 that is, is maybe what God wants to grow in you is a is a hunger 314 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:25,840 and a thirst to know him even more and to make him known even 315 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,920 more widely like never before. Maybe what's missing within you 316 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,960 that God wants to build up in you is a grace and a mercy 317 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,200 towards others that has never been present, that's never been 318 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:41,480 a part of your former MO, but it needs to be there and God needs 319 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,720 to build that within you. It can be many, many things that 320 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:49,680 are missing in you that God needs to build up in you. 321 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,800 And before we go any further, I, I just want to kind of pause and 322 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,680 ask you to reflect on a question. 323 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,640 If God's growing us through these three categories and God 324 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:04,000 desires to grow every single word of us, which he does, how 325 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,760 would you just between you and God? 326 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,560 How would how do you sense that God is growing you right now, 327 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,480 this morning in this stage and season of your life? 328 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,200 Do you sense that God is growing you by removing the things in 329 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,920 you that are no longer compatible with his heart? 330 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:27,000 Do you sense that that God is growing you by restoring what 331 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:32,280 what was previously broken? And if So, what is specifically 332 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:36,520 what's he restoring? Do you sense that God is growing 333 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,280 you by building in you what's missing in your life? 334 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,640 And if so, like what? What is he building within you? 335 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,800 What's he building within you? Whatever it may be, however you 336 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,640 may define that, however you may sense God is growing you, 337 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,000 whether it's removing what harms or restoring what's broken or 338 00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,320 building what's missing, chances are very good that that growth 339 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,000 in you is probably not happening in isolation. 340 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,280 Is it? Here's why #2 for taking notes 341 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,440 with us. Relationships are both God's 342 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,680 main tool for shaping us and the main place that shaping becomes 343 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,600 visible. Relationships are his main tool 344 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:20,040 for shaping us and also the main arena in which that shaping 345 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:25,640 becomes most evident. Going back to first Peter 3 346 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,080 verse one, did you pick up the the first word? 347 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,120 It's, it's at the top of your of your note sheet. 348 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:32,360 Print at the top of your note sheet. 349 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,160 It's the word. Likewise here here's here's the 350 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,320 importance of that word. It tells us even though first 351 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:44,360 Peter 31 is the beginning of a passage, first Peter 31 is also 352 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:48,400 a continuation of a context that's going on throughout 353 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,880 Peter's letter to the Christians spread throughout the Roman 354 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,880 Empire, modern day Asia Minor that were suffering through 355 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,600 persecution of the state. If you look back at first Peter 356 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:06,160 2, you can see where God is is, is teaching us and he's giving 357 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,400 us his commands of how as a follower of Jesus, we're to be 358 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:15,200 in relationship with authority. If you keep reading in the 359 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:19,560 latter part of First Peter chapter 2, you can read how 360 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,560 Peter kind of unpacked for the early Christians, how they're to 361 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:28,800 be in relationship with their supervisors or their employers. 362 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,960 And here by the time we get to 1st Peter 31, he's talking about 363 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:39,360 how you and I are to be in relationship with our spouse. 364 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:44,160 And if you think about it, it really does make a lot of sense, 365 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,280 right? Whether whether it's through the 366 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,840 arena of being a citizen, an employee, or a spouse, our 367 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:55,280 relationships with one another are the primary arena into which 368 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,040 you and I can really apply the teachings and the words and the 369 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:06,600 truth of Scripture. And not only that, we can also 370 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,560 use that as a pretty good and pretty significant self 371 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,800 diagnostic of the work that God has done and the work that He 372 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,600 still needs to do in and through US. 373 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,440 Here's what I mean. It's, it's in the context of 374 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:25,000 relationships that we can look at, like how we talk to people, 375 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,920 how we see people, how we treat people, how we pray for people. 376 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,960 And you know, we've said this before, it's the people like 377 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,320 you, it's the people not like you. 378 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,040 It's the people who like you. It's the people that don't like 379 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,040 you. It's the people who think and 380 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,960 believe and vote like you. And it's the people that don't 381 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,080 believe or think or vote like you. 382 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:50,400 It's everyone relationships, the relationships that are in mind 383 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:55,360 in your life are the primary arena to which we can apply the 384 00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:57,880 truth of God's word. They're also going to be the 385 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,720 primary arena that that change and that transformation is most 386 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:07,280 evident in US. You ever, you ever, you ever 387 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,640 been in a work relationship to where there was somebody that 388 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,320 was just really hard to love and you're like, man, I don't even 389 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,520 like them, much less love them. Yeah. 390 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,240 You ever been in a, in a work relationship to where for so 391 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,760 long and, and, and, and there's been a journey of God growing 392 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,920 you, whether that's removing what harms or, or restoring 393 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,760 what's broken or building what's missing. 394 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,320 And the person that you just kind of like really just 395 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:35,880 constantly butted heads with in the kindest of ways, looked at 396 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,720 you and said, Hey, I don't want you to get a big head, but 397 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,960 you're not nearly as big of a jerk as you used to be. 398 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,840 That's affirmation of God's growth in you. 399 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:52,800 Relationships are the primary arena in which God refines us 400 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,880 and grows us, and they're also the primary arena which that 401 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,920 growth is most evident. You may say, OK, what does that 402 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:05,600 have to do with this text #3 there's no relationship that 403 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,560 shapes us like marriage. There's no relationship that 404 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:15,240 shapes us like marriage. That is not at all a negative 405 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,560 statement. That is not at all meant to take 406 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:22,040 on a negative connotation. It is just an acknowledgement 407 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,800 that when you have two independent people, a man and a 408 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:30,000 woman, a husband and a wife coming together in marriage that 409 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:35,040 are used to doing their own thing in their own way, in their 410 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:41,360 own timing, with now the shared goal of walking together in 411 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:44,280 unison. Let's just say that sometimes 412 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:50,880 friction happens and it's through the friction that God 413 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:56,120 can most shape our faith. It's through the friction that 414 00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:06,920 God can most shape our faith. I haven't even mentioned and 415 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,920 we're talking about two people coming together as one, walking 416 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,800 in unison, used to doing their own thing in their own way, in 417 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,800 their own time. Haven't even mentioned the fact 418 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,040 that you have two people that are bringing in their own 419 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,000 habits, their own baggage and their own sin. 420 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,760 And to the equation, I can't tell you how many times that 421 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,760 I've sat down and and done counselling with marriage 422 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,400 counselling with couples. And it's not that they said this 423 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,480 out loud, but they pretty much, it's very obvious that they came 424 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,480 into marriage assuming something that was completely wrong. 425 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,920 This was the assumption. And maybe maybe you think this 426 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,200 right now and it's really good that we kind of get this out of 427 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,480 the way. They assume that magically and 428 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,560 mystically, the husband, once they get married, the husband 429 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,680 will fix all the issues in the wife. 430 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,960 She really believes that and the husband really believes that 431 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:12,240 hey, all of my baggage, my wife, once we get married, my wife, 432 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:17,280 she's going to fix that. You know the you complete me, 433 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:28,120 not a Bible verse. Listen, marriage is not like 434 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:31,200 math 2. Negatives don't make a positive. 435 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,320 In actuality, here's what happens. 436 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:40,720 You got double the baggage, you got the double the baggage. 437 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,560 So of course, marriage gets really complicated. 438 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:50,000 It gets really complicated and it gets really hard. 439 00:28:55,450 --> 00:28:58,970 Listen, there's many more statements that I could have 440 00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:02,170 written about this, but here's the gist. 441 00:29:02,410 --> 00:29:07,010 Marriage exposes our selfishness faster than anything else. 442 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,320 By the way, when I go down these don't elbow each other and look 443 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,920 at each other goes he's talking to you. 444 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,840 Marriage exposes our selfishness faster than anything else. 445 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,560 Marriage reveals what's really in our hearts under pressure. 446 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:27,960 Marriage makes evident our need for God's grace in US and growth 447 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:32,400 of us. Listen, and all this is to take 448 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:36,720 place. God's plan for us is all to take 449 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:41,400 place over the long haul. It's no wonder that there's no 450 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:46,000 relationship that refines us more, that God uses more to 451 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:51,880 shape us like marriage. So here's what I want to do is 452 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:56,880 we turn to go on the final lap this morning. 453 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,760 I want to speak first of all to, to, to wives. 454 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:04,400 I'm going to speak to wives and then I want to speak to 455 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:08,160 husbands. What does God have for you this 456 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,640 morning? What does God want your take 457 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:16,360 away to be this morning? First of all, you are seen. 458 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,720 You were loved, you were valuable, and you were 459 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:24,360 treasured. And I hope, if you're married, I 460 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:30,160 hope, I hope, I hope, I hope that your husband makes you feel 461 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:37,800 that way and remind you of that. But if not, never allow the 462 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:42,320 failings of a man to diminish who you are to the king. 463 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:49,400 Never allow the failings of a man to diminish who you are to 464 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,440 the king. Second, God wants to grow you. 465 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,120 God loves you so much. There's an old, old saying, but 466 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:01,360 it's so very true. God loves you so much and he 467 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,880 loves you just the way that you are, but he loves you too much 468 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:09,600 to leave to leave you that way. It's an old Henry Blackaby 469 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,440 statement. So ladies, in the house with us 470 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,640 wives, God has great plans for you. 471 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,440 God loves you. God wants to grow you, and God 472 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,080 wants to use you. God wants to use you exactly 473 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:28,360 where you are, and he wants to use the influence that he wants 474 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:32,920 to build in you. You see what we're saying here 475 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,600 is Christ like character to the wives. 476 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:39,400 Christ like character creates Christ centered influence. 477 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,320 You see, you will start to notice when God grows you, 478 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,520 whether it is through removing what's harmful from within you, 479 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,240 restoring what's broken or building what's missing. 480 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,320 What will take those things place? 481 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,760 The harmful, the missing and the broken. 482 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:06,440 What will take those that place will be things like an enhanced 483 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:12,760 love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and 484 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:18,400 gentleness and self-control. Can I just offer something up to 485 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,480 the to the wives this morning in the room and online. 486 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:29,800 The influence that you have over your husband is far greater by 487 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:36,960 exhibiting Christ like influence and he will be much more open to 488 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:40,360 experiencing the relationship that you have with God for 489 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:47,160 himself through your Christ like influence then constant 490 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,240 confrontation then from critique. 491 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:58,320 Listen, no one, no one was ever argued to the cross of Jesus. 492 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,200 The invitation of Jesus is always extended through grace 493 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,720 and invitation. Listen, things like constant 494 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,840 confrontation and critique can easily be ignored. 495 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:18,640 A changed life is undeniable. So Christ like character leads 496 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,920 to Christ centered influence. Second message to the ladies 497 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,000 Submission. Submission is really confidence 498 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,800 in God. Submission is confidence in God. 499 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,280 Submission is not about being controlled by your husband. 500 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,000 Submission has nothing to do with checking your heart or your 501 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,440 brain at the door and blindly following. 502 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:44,120 The blind. Submission is you realizing that 503 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:48,280 as much as you love your husband, God loves your husband 504 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,760 even more. And as much as you desire your 505 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,240 husband to know him and to follow him, God desires that 506 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,120 even more. And as much as you want God, as 507 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,920 much as you want your husband to take the godly lead in your home 508 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,160 and over your family, God not only desires that more, but 509 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,360 through the power of the Holy Spirit, He is capable of 510 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:12,000 bringing that about. Submission is confidence and 511 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,679 faith in God. Submission is not about 512 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:21,760 suppression. Here's an exercise for you 513 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,600 ladies, for your wives, maybe today. 514 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,199 Don't tell your husband that you're doing this. 515 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,560 Maybe sometime today, maybe it's at lunch, maybe it's at dinner, 516 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,920 maybe it's sometime in between. Before you go to bed, I want you 517 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,520 just to look at your husband. Don't say anything on the 518 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,800 outside, but pray on the inside. God, I believe you got this. 519 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,080 Just look at your husband and say, God, I believe you got 520 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,440 this. Do you know what your husband's 521 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,199 going to think? He's going to catch you looking 522 00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:52,760 at him and he's probably going to think. 523 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,280 I bet she's thinking about how lucky she is to have me. 524 00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,480 Listen, let him to go ahead and think that. 525 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,800 Let him go ahead and think that. But you know, between you and 526 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,960 God, God, I believe that you got this. 527 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,880 I believe that you got this man. I believe that you love him, 528 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,280 that you desire good for him. You desire good for our home and 529 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,280 for our family. I believe that you got this. 530 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:18,720 You do what I can never do, but God, you help me to continue to 531 00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:21,640 be faithful to you. Now, before we move on to the 532 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:27,840 husband, I want to address very quickly a subset of ladies. 533 00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:29,760 And here's this, here's the subset. 534 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,680 It's those that may be asking the question then what if I am 535 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,520 married to an unbeliever? What if my husband's not a 536 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,520 Christian? Or what if my husband says that 537 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:44,080 he's a Christian, but he is most definitely not leading our home 538 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,120 and our family and godliness. I believe that there's some of 539 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,960 us in this room and online that that that is our question when 540 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,080 we're talking about this. You're sitting there going, Ben, 541 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:58,880 I would love to be obedient to first Peter four or first Peter 542 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,320 three one through 7. I would love for my husband to 543 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,800 follow God and to grow in godliness and to lead our 544 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:10,560 family, but he is not there yet. Let me tell you, if that is you, 545 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,800 make no mistake about it. You are not alone. 546 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,640 As a matter of fact, you were part of the subset audience that 547 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,200 Peter's writing this letter to in the 1st place. 548 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,480 Here's a couple. Here's a couple of words of 549 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,000 advice. If you find yourself in that 550 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:33,560 subset of wives, remember that you have an authentic 551 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:38,240 relationship with Jesus that is independent of your relationship 552 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,080 with your husband. Your relationship with Jesus 553 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,320 comes first. Your relationship with Jesus is 554 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,560 not determined by your relationship with your husband. 555 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,120 Your relationship with your husband is not dependent upon 556 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:55,240 your relationship with Jesus #2 do everything that you can to 557 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:58,320 honor your husband's leadership. And here's what I mean. 558 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,000 Wives, remember how we went back and said that there's an innate 559 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,880 need that was created within every man to be respected and 560 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:08,320 believed in? Wives, you may, you may need to 561 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,320 dig really, really deep, but acknowledge that leadership, 562 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:17,920 acknowledge and maybe even call out things within your husband's 563 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,560 life, within his character, within his leadership. 564 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:28,000 Remind your husband that listen, my relationship with God, my 565 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,760 relationship with God actually allows me to love you more and 566 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,440 to love you better. And that's why I want you to 567 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:39,280 experience that relationship with God so that you can 568 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,520 experience his love and so that you can you can love us more and 569 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:47,000 you can love us better. A relationship with God never 570 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:51,240 takes away from us. It always grows US and enhances 571 00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:57,240 us #3 If you find yourself in that subset of of wives this 572 00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:02,840 morning, know that there are there's biblical grounds to 573 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,440 submissively say no to your husband. 574 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,840 If what your husband is asking you to do or be involved in 575 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:15,240 violates the word of God, is a sin or leads to sin, then your 576 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:19,840 ultimate allegiance is to your King and that's God. 577 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:27,440 Never forget, however, you have immense influence in the life of 578 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,160 your husband. And even though if your 579 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,840 husband's not a believer or walking or leading in godliness, 580 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,960 even though your marriage may not be all that it can be or 581 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:42,840 that it could be if he were, that does not mean that does not 582 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:47,240 mean that you do not have an impactful place in the Kingdom 583 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:51,400 of God. So ma'am, you keep serving wife, 584 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,520 you keep serving. You just keep being faithful to 585 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:58,920 Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to do what only the Holy Spirit 586 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,360 can do in your husband's heart. Now to the husbands. 587 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,080 There's a lot of verbage here in first Peter 3 devoted to the 588 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:14,240 wives. However, the weight of leading 589 00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:18,720 your family and your wife in godliness is very clear in 590 00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:22,720 Scripture, and it is no lightweight at all. 591 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,560 As a matter of fact, the apostle Paul writes in the book of 592 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:30,880 Ephesians, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church 593 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:35,440 and gave himself up for her. How did Jesus love? 594 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,720 Jesus loved so much that he gave himself sacrificially. 595 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,840 He poured himself out. He gave up his own life. 596 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:53,160 Here's what that means husbands, our role as a husband, as the as 597 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:57,000 the leader within our homes and leading our homes, leading our 598 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:02,160 wives in godliness involves speaking life into our wife and 599 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:06,960 raising our wife up and and and and championing like what God is 600 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:11,960 doing in and through her. It's actually talking to her and 601 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:16,120 listening to her and listening in a way that you're not 602 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,200 immediately wanting to jump to conclusions. 603 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,200 That's something that I. I learned a few years ago, I 604 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,080 remember Julie and I, we were talking in our in our in our 605 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,520 dining room one night and she was telling me about some 606 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,200 things. And I said, OK, here's what you 607 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:30,880 probably need to do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 608 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:32,440 And I thought it was great advice. 609 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,680 And she looked at me. She goes, I'm not telling you 610 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:38,160 this to give me a solution. I just want you to listen. 611 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:44,160 So in my great pastoral wisdom, I looked at her and goes that 612 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,360 makes no sense at all. But then the more I started 613 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,800 thinking about I go, you know what I I need to listen to her. 614 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:59,640 Date your wife, treasure your wife, pray with and for your 615 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,640 wife. Lead your wife. 616 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,560 Some of you men you may be thinking room online. 617 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,080 That pastor's asked me to turn in my man card. 618 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:17,520 Well, first of all, Sir, if your man card is described as 619 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,160 anything that's not of God's word will and ways, you should 620 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,760 have shredded that man card up a long time ago. 621 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:29,240 And second of all, your wife and your kids and your family, they 622 00:41:29,240 --> 00:41:30,760 don't need you to be less of a man. 623 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,840 As a matter of fact, they need you to be more of a man. 624 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,040 They need you to be the man that God created you to be and 625 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,280 desires for you to be. It's not just a desire of 626 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:48,120 theirs, it's a need of theirs. Final message to to Mim this 627 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:52,480 whole issue, this whole issue, biblical leadership about being, 628 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,240 it's about honor and not harshness. 629 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:58,000 Second thing that I would tell you is home is where your faith 630 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,680 is proven. Did you know that it's quite 631 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,240 possible to fool a lot of people at work into thinking you're 632 00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:08,720 something or someone that you're not? 633 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:14,120 And it's very easy to to, to, to fool people at church into 634 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,200 making you think that or making them think you're something or 635 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,880 someone that you're not. Do you know who really knows the 636 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,520 real you? It's your wife and your kids. 637 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:25,320 Why? Because home is where your faith 638 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,800 is really proven. Home is where you let your guard 639 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,080 down. Home is where you're most 640 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,760 authentically you. Home is where you can honestly 641 00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:36,200 have the question. Is there a disconnect between 642 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,080 who I say that I am and who the people closest to me really know 643 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,680 me to be? Home is where that question can 644 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,880 be really answered. Let me tell you something to the 645 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:50,160 husbands, to the men. If you win in every area of 646 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,040 life, yet you lose, at home, you lose. 647 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,200 If you win in every area of life yet you lose at home, you lose. 648 00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:03,640 So how do you win at home? You stay submitted to God. 649 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,480 Submission is not just for wives. 650 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:12,880 Submission is for all of us. Husband's staying submitted to 651 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,440 the will and the ways and the Word of God. 652 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:19,480 Spending time with God in His Word, knowing what He says. 653 00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,440 Spending time with God in prayer, knowing how He's 654 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,080 directing you, changing you from the inside out. 655 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,920 Being a husband is not being harsh. 656 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,760 Being a husband is about honoring your wife. 657 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,520 Faith. Your home is where your faith is 658 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:39,360 most proven. So here's what I want us to do. 659 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:43,080 So what do we do with all of this this morning? 660 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:47,160 What is our application? I want to guide just kind of the 661 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,720 different the different sections or the different categories of 662 00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:53,800 us in the room and with us online this morning when he walk 663 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,240 you through some questions. First one to wives. 664 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:02,720 Wives, in what specific ways does your husband need you to 665 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:06,800 pray for him? Wives, in what specific ways 666 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,560 does your husband need you to pray for him? 667 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:14,960 Husbands, in what specific ways does your wife need you to lead 668 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,960 her? Singles, I haven't forgotten 669 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,520 about you. Singles, hopefully this morning 670 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,520 through the context of first Peter three one through 7, it 671 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,960 gives you a very good idea of what you need to pray and pray 672 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,320 for in a future husband or a future spouse. 673 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:37,400 But here's the question for you. Singles, in what specific ways 674 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:44,040 do I need to prepare myself now for the husband or the wife that 675 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:48,880 I will need to be later on? If you're single with us, you're 676 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,920 in a time of preparation. Don't squander the time of 677 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,880 preparation. Here's how I want to end our 678 00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,440 time. I think that a lot of times, and 679 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,520 if you've been at Riverbend for any measure of time, you know 680 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:04,200 that we say this quite often. It's not just about information, 681 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:08,800 it's about an invitation. I'm we're going to end our time 682 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,000 this morning and I'm going to ask you to do something Maybe 683 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,480 this this uncomfortable to you. And even though it may be 684 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:18,400 uncomfortable, I think it's a complete game changer. 685 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,040 I'm going to end our time in prayer and then we're going to 686 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,440 open up the time of response. And husbands, I'm going to ask 687 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,720 that you would just grab your wife's hand, lead her down and 688 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,200 pray with her and to pray for her. 689 00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:39,400 If you're with us this morning and you're single, I'm going to 690 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,160 ask that you come down and that you pray. 691 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,320 God, would you lead this kind of husband or this kind of wife 692 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:50,320 into my life? And God, until then, would you 693 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,440 create within me the type of husband or the type of wife that 694 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:57,000 I need to be? If you're with us this morning 695 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,320 and you're by yourself, your husband or your wife isn't here 696 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,000 with you, I'm going to encourage you to come down, pray for them, 697 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:08,680 pray for them by name, and pray that God would give you the 698 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,840 guidance, the Holy Spirit guidance to be exactly who you 699 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:17,000 need to be and to have confidence and faith in Him. 700 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,800 We're good. Let me go ahead and pray. 701 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:23,480 God, we love you and we thank you for the fact that you do not 702 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,240 leave us where we are. God, you want to grow every 703 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:28,520 single one of us. You love every single one of us. 704 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:32,480 God, your plan for every single one of us is for the good. 705 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,360 God, we also acknowledge that your primary arena in which you 706 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:41,760 grow us, in which you refine us, is through relationships. 707 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,040 God, there's no other relationship that shapes us, 708 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:49,520 that grows us, that refines us, that makes our need for you most 709 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,520 evident and obvious than marriage. 710 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,120 God, it is a gift that you have given us. 711 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,280 God, I pray that you would bring breakthroughs in marriage. 712 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:02,800 I pray that you would bring healing. 713 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,760 I pray that you would bring restoration. 714 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,600 God, I pray for the men, for the husbands in this room. 715 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,520 God, that they would continue to lead in godliness. 716 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,240 God, if they are not currently leading in godliness, God, that 717 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:16,800 you would light a Holy Spirit Spirit fire up underneath them 718 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:21,680 and within them a passion and a hunger and a thirst to know you 719 00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:26,960 more and to experience you more and to lead their family in a 720 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,040 way that knows you and experiences you more. 721 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:31,560 God, I pray that you would bring healing. 722 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,000 I pray that you would bring breakthrough. 723 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,000 I pray that you would bring restoration this morning as we 724 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,760 pray together to you. And it's in Jesus name that we 725 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:40,880 pray. Amen. 726 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,680 Thank you for listening to Riverbend Church's podcast. 727 00:47:48,720 --> 00:47:52,040 To find out more about this message or Riverbend Church, 728 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,400 connect with us online at Riverbend Church dot live.