A Fox's Guide to Deurbanisation is intended for mature
audiences. Please keep your Cubs out of the
den. Holy Oracle.
Yeah, I've done it. I'm officially out of London
now. I don't exactly know where I am,
but it's definitely in the countryside.
Like, get this to my right. There's a tree and there's
another tree and there's, there's another tree.
You get the point. It's all very tranquil.
Well, actually, so far it's a bit like Hyde Park, but without
the humans. Oh, look, there's bluebells.
Those are nice. My dad, Frank, really liked
bluebells. Pull yourself together, Rusty.
Right. Amber told me to take the train
a few hours W to get near Dean's Forest, but since I have to
jump, I guess I'll walk. It's a good thing I'm not afraid
of a little adventure. It's kind of quiet out here.
Like, really quiet. Hello.
Is anyone there? What's that?
A trailer full of sheep. I can ask them for help.
Not that I was lost or anything. Testing.
Yeah, Hello everyone.
Look, do you consent to being recorded for my podcast?
That sounds lovely. What's a podcast?
Great. Look, My name's Rusty and I'm on
my way to Dean's Forest. I'm Rusty.
What are your names? I'm sheep one.
I'm sheep. 72. I think I'm sheep 30 but I also
might be 4 or 51. You don't have names.
Why would we need to? We're all sheep here.
I guess that makes sense, but you don't seem very afraid of
me, you know, considering I'm a predator and all.
You seem nice. I I don't seem like a big
masculine scary fox. No.
Oh well, I guess I still have some acclimating today.
Should I? Should I growl at them?
No no, that's dumb. Eat 1.
Still need the help, so first question is where are you headed
I. Don't know.
Oh, we have no idea. Isn't that exciting?
It's like an adventure. OK, so this is some kind of bus
for animals? Yeah, I guess so.
What's a bus? Damn noisy sheet.
Was that the driver? Yes.
It's so nice. Of him to drive us around.
We love the. He feeds us hay all the time.
That sounds really idyllic, actually.
Oh, we must be on our way. Would you like to join us?
I will if it's going West, that's the only direction I
have. It's where it's this way, Yeah.
Climb. Apart I can't find the beach.
Two last time. Which one was sheep?
One. It's painted on my side.
Sorry. OK, Yeah, cool.
OK, so I'm venturing further into the countryside on a bus
full of surprisingly friendly sheep.
Oh, we always get along, usually because we're all the same.
So we all understand each other. Well, except for Gerald.
We're really not sure what to do with Gerald.
He's always such a Debbie Downer.
What's so bad about him? It's.
Hard to explain, but if you want to talk to him he's right over
there between sheep 16 and sheep 45.
Yeah, yeah, OK. I guess he'd make an interesting
interview subject. Well, thanks, guys.
I'll go over there and see him now.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Pardon me? It's kind of crowded in here.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Exceptionally there. My bad.
Oh, hi. Hi.
You must be Gerald. I'm rusty.
I've heard all about you. Hey.
So you're like the black sheep of the family, hey?
What? You know, like like the saying
the black sheep of the. I'm as sparkling white as the
others, except for Sheep 42. He's kind of grey.
Right, never mind. Do you mind if I ask you a few
questions? Whatever.
Good enough for me. So what are you doing here,
Gerald? What are any of us doing here,
trying to endure this miserable cage we call existence?
OK. I mean more like what are you
doing on the Animal bus? Do you have a destination in
mind? We're all unwilling passengers
of the bus ride of life until we reach our final destination.
We all just follow the farmer wherever he goes, like moths to
a flame or lemmings to a Cliff or lambs to something else
unpleasant. But the others don't understand
me. Nobody even asks about my beat
poetry. Beat Poetry.
This one is inspired by knowing within your wretched soul that
you will be forsaken to an eternity of outcast.
My demons drown me like ballet tears and dying roses with
bloody thorns. I pledge myself to darkness and
surrender to the misery. Of life.
That was that was great. Just get a glimpse into my
twisted mind. Oh, looks like we're here.
Not that it matters. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, it seems this is where we part ways here at what does that
say? Campbell's abattoir.
Oh, an avatar. I love Anna.
No, that's that's a slaughterhouse.
No, this isn't an animal bus. It's a it's a death bus.
But you're all in danger. Everybody, I'll get the latch.
Everybody run now. Ow.
Careful with the mind. Whoa, Oh, whoa.
Go, go. I'm glad I served with that's
who, her farmer. Uh.
Oh, I got you now who the hell of the Oracle was that game?
Is outside the city. Crazy.
I need to have a. Water, water.
Keep the mic dry. Keep the mic dry.
Slow down there, bud. What's the Kerfunnel?
There's a farmer back there with some kind of big stick that
makes things explode. Big stick.
Oh, that's a hunting rifle. I see him all the time.
But if he scared you off, he probably won't come looking.
He's gone. You betcha.
Fucking fuck. Yes.
Oh, I successfully evaded turned death.
I'm the greatest wildfox there ever was.
Glad to hear it. My name's Lucy Goose.
Pride of the great white N scourge of the Great Lakes.
Right. I guess I don't scare her
either. I'm rusty.
Isn't the north really far away? Oh, sure, bud, it's migration.
Didn't you know we Canadian geese fly to Florida or the
winter? I don't think we're in Florida.
This isn't Orlando. Not unless you count Thorpe Park
is Disney World. Do you think you might be a bit
lost? Me lost.
I've navigated the treacherous waters of the Saint Lawrence
Golf for a Beaver tail and a double.
Double. There's no finer sailor than I.
Well, as long as you're taking a a detour.
Would you mind helping me down this river?
No. I'm a terrible swimmer, but Mum
never let me practice in the temps.
She was terrified I'd get hit by an Uber boat.
Sure. You might as well have me hanged
for a toony as a loony. Now you're just making things
up. Come on, sailor.
Hop on that piece of debris. OK, there you go.
Now I'll spread my wings and be your sail.
No. Hey, it works.
Of course. Now grab that piece of driftwood
with your little claws. Good, right?
Yeah. That's your rudder.
That's your steer bird. That's your port side.
Got it? I think so.
You've got your sea legs now? Yeah.
OK, I'm getting the hang of this.
But you really are a sea captain.
Actually, I have a confession to make.
Truth be told, I'm no sailor. It's my first migration.
I got separated from my flock. Well, hey, that makes two of us.
I hope you find them. You could say I'm trying to find
my flock, too. Oh, I nearly forgot.
You should say something for the listeners on my podcast.
Well, so long as we're at sea, we have to sing a shanty to pass
the time. Come get your duds in order.
Cuz we're bound to cross the water.
Heave away. Meet Johnny's.
Heave away. Come get your duds in order, cuz
we're bound to leave tomorrow. Heave away.
Meet Johnny, boys, we're all bound away.
Join in. Sometimes we're bound for
Liverpool, sometimes we're bound for Spain.
Heave away. Yeah, be Johnny away.
But now we're bound for all the Johns where all the girls are
dancing. Heave away.
Meet Johnny, boys. We're all bound away.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey. Wonderful.
I can't wait. Protect the mic.
Thank you for listening to A
Fox's Guide to de Urbanization. Hit that like button.
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Peace. A Fox's Guide to Deurbanization
was created by Lisa Emily Peterson.
Episode 3 Heaver Way was written by Olivia Teti and starred Max
Torren as Rusty, Cristiano Benfinati at Sheep One, Lucrezia
Pfeiffer at Sheep 72, Luke R Francis at Sheep 30, Daniel
Newton as Gerald the Emo sheep, and Natalie Haven as Lucy the
Goose. This series was directed by Dans
and Claire. Sound design, sound recording
and script editing by Farooq Sultani, produced by Lisa, Emily
Peterson, production assistants Mona and Mammasade, and Natalia
Riga. Cover art by Brendora.
Recorded at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama.
This was an anonymous badger creative production.
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