A Fox's Guide to Deurbanisation is intended for mature
audiences. Please keep your Cubs out of the
den. Wow OK, can't believe I'm
actually saying this but I finally met my family.
I thought I saw my dad's ghost. It was actually my Uncle Graham.
As in my living breathing uncle, not a ghost uncle.
He does look a lot like my dad though, but like, grumpier and
alive. They call my dad Dusty as well.
It's a cute nickname. I haven't found a good time to
tell them he's dead yet. Right now we're prepping for
Grandma Estelle's 4th birthday celebrations and you heard me
right, Fourth never met an elder fox before.
Hey. Ruth, you need any glue?
I'm alright for glue. Cheers, Minne.
Turns out Cricket and Minnow really are my cousins and
they're entrepreneurs. You want to share a bit about
your business? Blue Bros and Co, it's our
little side that's all rough. Biggest underground blue
supplier this side of the forest.
Yeah, we can do 11% olive, percent dog shit.
Oh, swords. Really cool, like a vape for
your nose. Oh, that's lush.
That is minnow get that down. Is this still a good time for an
interview? No better time than the
presenter. So guys, tell me a bit about
forest life. Best place in the world, I
reckon. Anything else?
Is it peaceful? Apart from Women of
deforestation and the hunting, it's lush.
And has your dad told you much about my dad?
Oh, he's always. Shot it me know going out with a
paper cup. Yeah, I will.
Just give me a minute. Oh.
What's this? Then what?
Does it do Hillary? Don't.
What? You mean I?
Can't watch that, no. What do you mean?
Just give. That back to me.
I I don't don't touch that all right, just hand it over.
All right, here we go. Hillary, why don't you introduce
yourself? OK, I'm Hill.
I'm your dad's sister-in-law and your auntie.
I self identify as a. Lady of leisure.
Your Uncle Graham goes out to scavenge while I keep the den
warm. Come see.
Lovely.
Now there's something. I need.
I know my drink of choice, right?
OK, it's fermented, Finkle. That's.
Great, but with a. Dash of pink.
No, he's dead. Frank's dead.
Frank. Dad.
Oh. Your dad, Dusty.
Oh, Christ. You better tell Graham.
I mean, I've. I've never met the fox, but I
heard he was all right. I'll say it.
He was a bit of a prick. What?
But his previous misdeeds did lead your uncle to me.
Oh. And I've been screaming every
night since. Oh great.
Yeah, speak to your uncle about it.
But beware. He is a grump and it's nothing
personal. Well so far my forest family has
been weird but nice but definitely a bit weird.
I'll have to investigate further.
Excuse me mate, is that the Zoom H54 track?
Portable recorder possibly? I'm actually making a podcast.
Bro that's sick. I love podcasts.
Nice one. Sorry, who are you?
Flint Hills cub? Cricket and minnows, brother.
Wait, you're my cousin too? No way.
Oh man, I got to charge this. But then I want to know, are you
a chicken korma kind of guy? We're a dog shit eating kind of
guy. Yeah, it seems to be working for
a second. OK, Mike is back on.
Yeah, yeah. Settle it down, you 2.
Come on. So Cricket and Minnow are taking
a dance break. Obviously Uncle Graham's hanging
up bunting on a ladder and Hillary is drinking in the
corner again. Well, anyway, let's go and do
some investigating. You're right, my lover.
Hi Uncle, how you doing? Yeah, hello Rusty.
I've been meaning to ask, how's Pam?
You knew my mom. Something like that.
Right. Well, she died a while back of
an asthma attack. Is that not a horrible city
thing? Yeah.
I never understood why your father wanted to live in all
that filth. It's bad for the brain.
It's not all bad. We had a good life.
Keep lying to yourself, son. Like father like son.
Come on in. Where is that sorry state of a
fox then? He's dead.
He was flattened by a taxi. Fuck fuck, I really need to work
on my delivery. Come on, darling, up.
You get. I'm.
Fine, I don't know. Sorry, Uncle I, I should have.
Oh. He's not great with emotions.
Little Rusty. Right.
Ferment and. Finkle, Barry.
Take the edge off. Thanks, but no thanks.
See. Yourself.
What mum? There's the cuff present to
Elder Estelle. Shit presents.
I'll be right back. I've just got to go and see a
man about a horse. Oh, bring it back, will ya?
Blue Bros is running low some fucking.
You're rotting a dog in Oxfordshire.
It's clear on his house. I'm back in the village to pick
up a present for the elder Estelle and a little pick me up
for me I guess. Oh boy.
You. Survived that.
You really are wild fucks, aren't you?
Wait, Fitz, where are you? I'm.
Here, I'm there. I'm everywhere.
What you What are you doing inside the bins?
You'll have to excuse my state, old boy.
I've been hammering the catnip all night as a family.
Actually Fitzy, you can help me. I'm looking for some chicken
korma. I want to give him a taste of
the city. Some wild fox indeed.
Follow me, Foxy, the Grand Maharaja.
See those plates stacked up on the side?
That's your treasure. Thanks mate, next time I'm
pinching you some. Oh please, it's fresh for
nothing, darling. She's coming happy.
Birthday. Oh, I'm just, I'm, I'm buzzing
to meet you, Elder Estelle. Call me Estelle dear.
OK, Estelle. What brings you to this party on
Rusty? I'm, I'm making a podcast about
my journey to reconnect with nature and, well, I suppose I
just wanted to see how my dad was brought up now that he's a
dead Not too long ago he was in a traffic accident.
Oh. To tell you the truth, Rusty, I
had assumed he'd passed long ago in a hunt, as is off in the way
here. Perhaps that was easier to
accept than him never coming to visit.
I'm sorry. As am I, go ask me a.
Question What? Would you like to know for your
project? Oh, OK, but.
What's it? What's it like living here?
It's a beautiful life, smelling the primroses and the bluebells
as you emerge from the den, fresh local fare on which to
feed. But the crux of it all are the
foxes before you family, your family.
I could live anywhere if I'm whisker to whisker with.
Him. I wish my dad could have shown
me and my mum this way of life sooner.
Your mother. Your mother was not born a city.
Dweller. All right, Skunk, get your furry
horses outside. Rusty's got a surprise for you.
Oh, all right. Yeah.
Could you hold the mic, Flint? It would be my honour.
Oh, you should turn on the high pass filter so when you're
mastering later, you can use a multiband compressor.
Oh, they're gone. This is Flint reporting from the
Forester. Dean, my cousin Rusty is about
to present Estelle something very special.
Happy birthday, Estelle. But to celebrate your birthday,
I present to you a piece of my culture.
Well, a piece of me, really. Oh.
God, not the bloody Korma. What?
What have I done? It's like something I threw up
earlier. What?
No, it's it's delicacy. It's not like that dog shit you
eat. Rooper pain Ruster, OH.
My God, the korma has hit the tree.
I repeat, the korma has hit. The tree.
Mate, we're only kidding. We'll stand if it stops you
crying. No, it's not about the Curry.
It's, it's this, it's all of you, this stuff you're not
telling me and I know it and I want to be a part of the skunk,
but it's like, it's like I'm on the outside looking in.
Young Rusty, I think it's time to hear the truth about your
father. The truth about my father.
A long, long time ago, your father lived here with us.
We knew him as dust. Because he was always off
rolling her out. When your father went to the
city, he must have chosen a new name, Frank, which is what you
call him. I guess.
Awful name. Yeah.
Oh, we've got me something like. I'd be our little Kennington.
Shut it. Can you see he's distressed?
Can someone please tell me what is going on?
Dusty was the most wonderful boy until there was a
misunderstanding between him and Graham.
It wasn't a misunderstanding. He stole my bloody girl, my
girlfriend. My dad stole Hillary.
Wait, you're my mum? He wooed her with chicken korma
and couldn't handle the consequences once I decided to
fight him. Wait, wait, my dad brought my
mum on a nice steak, fed her delicious chicken gorma and you
banished them. You.
Never steal another Fox's vixen, least of all your brothers.
It's a basic fact, like not biting another Fox's tail.
I'm pissing within 5 past that so someone else is dead.
Exactly. So they fled like coward.
Graham, Pamela chose Dusty with a whole heart.
Dusty and I had a slap off and I won fair and square.
Pamela should have been. Mine.
This is insane. That's my mum you're talking
about and she had free will and your wife is right there.
The little City boys are feminists.
Who would have knew? Fuck, I can't believe I spent my
entire fucking life yearning to be all of you and this is how
you live, Sniffing glue and eating dog shit and banishing
your own kin. Fuck you, fuck the forest, and
fuck the poo you eat. Well that's just fine.
Piss off back to the city then. Just like you're a coward of a
father. Enough.
Rusty. I understand this may be
shocking news, but it has nothing to do with you.
Any cub of my cub is welcoming my turn whenever they like or as
long as they like. Even if your uncle is being less
than welcoming. Thank you, Elder Estelle, but
right, I'd need to get out of here.
Wait, Rusty What? Are you going to apologise?
Teach me the importance of family?
Tell me I'm. None of that.
You just forgot your bloody microphone.
Fuck you. Thanks for listening to A Fox's
Guide to de Urbanization. This episode is brought to you
by Glue Bros and Co. The Vape for your nose.
A Fox's guide to de Urbanization was created by Lisa Emily
Peterson. Episode 6.
To Be Frank was ridden by Olivia Woodhouse and starred Max Torren
as Rusty, Louis Enrique Lander as Cousin Cricket, Taylor
McIntyre as Cousin Minnow, Evangeline Bevan as Aunt
Hillary, Ashley Stroyd as Uncle Graham, Jacob Rossum and as
Cousin Flint, and Theo Ambrosini as Elder Estelle.
This series was directed by Dan Sinclair.
Sound design, sound recording and script editing by Farouk
Sultani, produced by Lisa, Emily Peterson, production assistants
Mona and Mammasade and Natalia Riga.
Cover art by Brendora, Recorded at the Royal Central School of
Speech and Drama. This was an anonymous Badger
creative production. Follow us on socials to stay
updated on our future projects.