A Fox's Guide to Deurbanisation is intended for mature
audiences. Please keep your Cubs out of the
den. You on, right?
OK, I'm trying to find this rave.
It sounds lit. Like I didn't even know country
boxes had raves. I was all like, oh, milkman's
here. Fucking stupid.
I have to come out once I work out to come things out.
Is that a dog? I can smell it.
It's like like human shit and a wet rat had a baby.
What kind of party is dogs? What's that smell, though?
Because that's not a dog. Holy Oracle Foxes, loads of
them. Three, maybe 040.
That's a vixen right there. But it's no, something's off.
They smell all panicky. Are you nuts?
These country boys are something else.
Certainly a dog. Those are dogs, you idiot.
No, hounds. Hounds.
Hang on the same thing. Oh, you're not from mountain
here, are you? Nah, I'm from London, not
Peckham. They don't have hens in Pelham.
Why the fuck would you leave Peck?
I don't know. Mostly pugs, Labradors,
Labradoodles, Cockapoos. What the?
Fuck, fuck. 'S.
Sake, it's like Houston Station. Oh my fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, this shit was right. Those are dogs.
Those are fucking teams. What the fuck have I done?
So you know how I was saying I wanted to be a feral fox?
Well, I'm ready to go back to London now.
The countryside is crazy. My dad was right.
I'm not cut out to be in the forest at all.
Please, please, if there's anyone up there, I want to live.
I'll never sit in a churchyard again.
I'll be good. I'll be good.
I'll be the I'll be the best fox ever.
Just please, please don't let me die.
Fox up a tree. Never thought I'd see the day.
God. Yes, I have come to judge your
soul. I'm only messing about up here.
I'm Brasha. It's a squirrel.
She looks kind of weird, like fancy.
She's got little Tufts on the top of her ears.
I can hear you, you know, even from up here.
Sorry. It's of a pick away.
Yeah, you can say that. I heard the horn.
Bad luck. If you wait it out, they might
get bored. Really.
Maybe. I mean no, probably not.
I'm. A dead box, walking or climbing.
Hey, don't I know you? No, no, I'm, I'm new to the
forest, very new. No, I swear.
You, you've got that brown patch on your chin.
Oh. You must be related to Dusty.
Oh, he saved me from that man with the cricket bat back.
In OH. Must have been right after the
Fox Red Squirrel Accords of 22. What, what?
What now? The Accords, the foxes agreed
not to eat as red squirrels, you know, in the name of
conservation and all that. And in return we give them 5% of
our winter stashes. It was a big thing.
You didn't hear about it? We don't have red squirrels in
London. Oh well, where did they go?
Oh well, it's a bit of a grey area I'm.
The first red squirrel you've ever met, then?
Yes, and probably the last. Look, I owe your family a debt
and I'm not in the habit of letting innocent creatures die
for nothing. Let me see what I can do.
Hey up here you fucker Dick. Some.
Of these nuts and shove them up your bottles.
She's only gone and dropped a load of nuts on them and now?
I don't. Think I've done it.
I don't think they've noticed me.
Oh shit. No, he ran into a tree.
I. Reckon but.
Look at this, in all my days I've never seen nothing like it.
Look, it's got little lights on. It seems unnatural to me.
I'm of the opinion that anything that gives off light that's not
the sun is unnatural. Sure up, bro.
Look, he's waking up. What?
Blowing.
Heck, he's got some lungs on him.
What the fuck? You'll make us all deaf.
Calm down, will you? Stay.
Away I know what badges are like.
They dragged you all the way in here.
Weren't easy, you know you're the fool who run into a tree.
What? Holy Oracle, is is this your
set? Oh, I'm done for.
Talk about out the fire and into the frying pan.
Now calm yourself down before you wake the Cubs.
Up the nurseries, only down the tunnel.
Cubs Nursery. Aye, little buggers.
Is that my Mike? Mike.
What's a Mike plunk? Do you know Mike?
Who's Mike? It's a microphone.
It records what you say. Give it back.
Hold on, what do you mean? I'm making.
A podcast. I'm from London and I'm trying
to find my family in Dean's Forest now.
Please give it back and I'll be on my way.
Dean. 'S for.
Oh. You mean the Forest of Dean?
Well, you found it. Great, then get me back above
ground right now. He's keen any.
Let us bandage up your leg first, then you can go.
We don't scrap with foxes these days.
Oh come on, we'll take you to the GP.
GP. Huh.
You got doctors down here? Oh.
We've got everything down here. Welcome to Badger Opolis.
Oh badger Nandos. Oh Badger Metro.
Oh, it's Badger everything, isn't it?
Come on. So you've just been like
expanding I. Humans don't use these fields
anymore, so a few of us joined our sets up.
More room, better childcare, you know?
And three years later, here we are.
Badgeropolis. Well, that sounds lovely.
Never quiet anymore. Can I get a wink?
A weather spoon. So it's like a little city down
here, you know, minus the pollution.
Safety in numbers. Nice to have your own about you.
Yeah, seems to be such a strong sense of community.
Are the Dean Foxes like this too?
Is there a Foxopolis? Well.
Bunk can tell you about the foxes, if you know what I mean.
Sure, I'll. Plunk, you'll meet them soon
enough. But no, they're territorial
enough, all right. Oh well, that's a shame.
Just stick to your family. Once you find them, they'll show
you the way. You'll want to head out the east
entrance and go left at the Old Oak, right at the Falling Down
bridge, and then you'll come to this big clearing.
That's where all the foxes are nowadays.
Wow, it ain't. That far?
Look, I can go with you as far as the oak if you want, but my
back's been all right, man. No.
No, I'm all right. Really.
It's just, wow. I can't believe I've nearly made
it. It's.
Really loud in here. Bank holiday weekend.
Kind of makes me miss the city to be honest.
Come back anytime. Thank you for everything, I've
never met Badgers like you before.
We're a. Pleasure Young.
Lad. My name is Rusty.
That's the one. Come on.
I'll show you out. Do you want to worm for the
road? No, I'm good.
Thanks. Not much for Worm.
Wow, that was so cool. Well, that hustle and bustle
food. The GP.
Maybe I can convince my forest family to build our own mini
city. Fuck, I hope they like me.
What if they eat those are worms?
No, that's silly. I can eat worms.
Family's worth it. Wait, foxes.
Foxes. Hello.
Hello.
I'm Cricket. This is Minnow.
What's your name? I'm Rusty.
Oh man. I can't tell you how happy I am
to find you guys. I've been travelling for weeks.
Weeks. What?
I've come from London. I'm on a pilgrimage to find my
family. They're meant to be from around
here. London.
Hey, you wouldn't be Dusty's cub, would you?
Hey. No, my dad's was called Frank.
But you've got that brown patch on your chin, just like me and
cricket look. Oh yes, so we're you're my
family cousins or something? Yep, probably.
Welcome to the ancestral homeland.
Oh, it's so good to finally meet you.
Oh, it's been a dream. Like a proper dream.
And I've been through so much. And what the fuck is that dog
shit you're actually eating? Well, you go around since the
hunt came through. Real country delicacy, this.
Oh, I'm going to throw up. I'm so glad the mic can't smell
shit. It's.
Still steaming. It's great.
Aren't you meant to like hunt or forage?
This is both filling and easy. What bomber?
That's disgusting. I mean, that's different.
Can we go now though? Because it's making me feel ill
and I really want to meet everyone.
Let's finish up, city boys. Always in a rush.
What's the fuck you're actually eating dog shit and how is that
more important than I'm sorry? I'm sorry I'm I'm very tired but
please can you take me to my family just once you've finished
eating your dog shit? Don't know.
Anyway, let's go. And then we snuck into the
kitchen in this gastro pub. We know.
Busy boy. Yeah.
Only aspect. I am alive and very
sophisticated. You know, things are scared
about wherever he goes. Yeah.
And then I got chased by the hunt.
Lucky to escape with your life and then come.
Through a few times a. Year and then yeah, dreadful.
And then I, I is that holy Oracle?
Is that? Hello lads.
It did. You just think, Yeah, yeah.
They did switch that microphone off, would you?
Katie's gonna love thanks for listening to A Fox's Guide to de
Urbanisation, the podcast that's changing the lives of foxes
everywhere. Now go spread it around like
you're marking your territory. Cheers, fellows.
Bye. A Fox's Guide to de Urbanization
was created by Lisa Emily Peterson.
Episode 5 Badgeropoulos was written by Madeleine Whitby and
starred Max Torren as Rusty, Natalie Haven as Brush of the
Scroll, Ashley Stroid as Bunk and Unpil Graham, Beatrice
Bennett as Plunk, Isaiah James Mitchell as Worm Badger, Louise
Enrique Lander as Cousin Cricket and Taylor McIntyre as Cousin
Minnow. This series was directed by Dan
Sinclair. Sound design, sound recording
and script editing by Farooq Sultani, produced by Lisa, Emily
Peterson, production assistants Mona and Mammasade, and Natalia
Riga. Cover art by Brendora.
Recorded at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama.
This was an anonymous Badger creative production.
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