Warning, the following program is not for the weak-hearted.
Those were closed minded when General you're scared to learn.
What's behind closed. Doors here at sapphires are
clay. I want you to pour the wine.
Grab somebody that you want to hold onto or better yet.
Get the vibration stimulated through your body.
Get ready for one, hell of an eargasm in five, four, three,
two, one, what is up? All you sexy motherfuckers out
there in radioland it sugar. Real sapphire and oh my
goodness. First of all, first of all pride
month, I know some of y'all earbuds are like soft.
This is the first year you never really did a lot for Pride this
year as far as orgasms. Well, I got to say, listen, I'm
gay 24/7. Why do I need to feed into the
corporate bullshit of just pride month or just black history
month to say, I am black and queer.
Listen, we want gay voices we get that 365 here on Syfy as of
yore. I play it to all the spectrums,
you get my gas almost every week and then you get some other
folks who are freaky kinky. Some are queer.
Some are not queer somewhere, just really fucking open-minded.
So, instead of jumping down my throat saying why do not feed in
to the Beast, why we just move the fuck forward into July.
Okay, first of all, Juneteenth came and went, I'm kind of
irritated because my ass had to work on my day of independence.
But ironically, I got the white people.
Pendants day off. I got the Monday and the Tuesday
off and listen. It was only down to the fact
that I was down to one station. So yes, thank you.
Thank you. But at the same time I should
have had, Juneteenth off. Okay, period done.
But with that said, I am so excited to bring on this mon
Stir of a guess. Yes, I said monster because this
is how this amazing being and I came to know each other.
I'm telling you, the mon app is where it's at.
This is where I've been getting some of the top-tier guess that
you all have been loving in 2023 and my next guest, I mean I'll
even know what to say other than she's a handful, a handful of
beauty, a handful of knowledge, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and
gentlemen, all the are plays. Welcome James Murray AKA boosted
their bread. Hello hello.
How are you? Oh man.
You listen. I feel like this has been a long
time coming. I absolutely love your chance.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
It has been a long time coming because we've been connected now
for for quite some time. A little over a year.
I feel yeah. Yeah almost too.
So you know it was well well overdue let's just say that well
overdue. Absolutely.
And like they say you know the best thing As comes to those who
wait and listen, I am so excited and especially because this
episode in speaking of was kind of inspired by a recent chat
that you did at the beginning of pride month on the mon app, and
then simultaneously on Instagram.
Okay. Damn.
That is a damn good. You know, kind of thought that
we were, you know, talking about another friend of mine.
She's a nurse and was doing a survey on Instagram.
And that really got my wheels turning and I'm like wait a
second. How can I miss that?
Fire say that she is a lover of the ladies and has never really
done a strictly lesbian. Feminine Sapphic episode.
I mean my name is sapphire. Yes, I'm surprised.
I am quite surprised. Listen, I'm beating myself in
the head as we speak. Oh my goodness.
No, no, no. We kind of get that going.
We do we do. So yes.
This is all about the Sapphic. Love the Sapphic.
Being we're going to talk about everything, under the umbrella
of lesbian sex, but let me introduce you.
Miss J. Murrey boob scenario.
Let's just introduce you. First and foremost, European
sexual certified sexologist. If you are a beginner and a
coach who helps women couples and the lgbtq+, I a community,
not to mention. You just are an advocate of
living your best and healthiest sex life.
I'm wearing on Instagram, your videos, your Fireside Chats.
If you will, you know, you really do break it down and what
it is to be a queer black woman, embracing their sexuality.
So walk us through the Journey tell us about How did boobs
Canary come to be the way that it is now?
Listen, it is a long journey. Okay, patient is the word of the
day, because that's what it took for me to get to this point.
Like, I didn't just pop out the womb like just happy-go-lucky
person, but because I was raised by my grandparents.
So I was raised in a very religious, very Christian and
Baptist upbringing. And when I say I went to church,
I went to church every day of the week for something
different. OK, like they don't stop the
fun. Like it was us.
Board meetings, and bible study. And then you gotta go because
this is the elders meeting this day and so everybody knew who I
was, so I was that type of thing.
And so I always knew I was attracted to women.
Even think that I was attracted to women first, but because of
that Christian and religious upbringing, always thought it
was wrong, you know, because that's what was preached that's
what society around me at that time was telling me, so, Doing
hit from it. And then I also had a very rude
introduction to sucks. So it kind of closed off my
relationship completely with sex throughout that that normal time
and adolescents, we're we're like seeking things and we're,
you know, we're experimenting here.
We're not sure exactly what right one, but we know like it's
exciting. I'm getting a rise out of it so
let's keep doing it. Like that period of time was
more so So let's read erotica, you know, it was more.
So I need to recreate that that spark from sex that everybody
else gets because I don't have it, you know, so in not having
it and having, you know, that harsh introduction to sex.
And like that, that negative connotation already placed on
it. I was like this.
Can't be it for me. You know, I'm just starting out
Brian and read him that erotica. And I got Doctors like Zane and
air drums icky. And, you know, I was I was
getting there. The Cadillac of erotica, a black
erotica, if you will, I mean, if you are a queer black person and
you have you have never experienced vein and purple
panties had me in a bunch. Y'all can't see my reaction but
I likes took a step back because that way as the my first
introduction in college was purple panties.
And then really yes. And then what was it?
Alpha five, fucking the sisters Almighty.
Okay, okay, so give you perspective, I was reading this
middle school, high school. So this was very much
cultivating. My relationship again or my
re-entry. Into, like, what, I know sex to
be because you have to understand from, I'm not saying
I'm like this drop dead, gorgeous woman, but for items of
very attractive she is. I'm saying like, you know,
body-wise I'm mature very early, so I've always had that male
attention that some female seek and it's annoying.
Sometimes, you know what I mean? Like, you can't turn it off.
Like if I go and walk down the street, there's going to be
horns. It's going to be people hanging
out the window. It's almost inevitable and it's
been that way for the majority of my life, even in adolescence.
So again, like I had to reintroduce myself to what?
X is going to look like for me and so literature help me do
that. My college Journey.
Help me do that finding out you know it's okay to just be me you
know and my mom wasn't even okay with it.
You know she had this idea because I'm the first girl I'm
the oldest sibling that was raised in the household you know
because my brother lived with another family but she had this
idea for my life that I had to grow up and marry Prestigious
man and I had to have this abundant family and I'm like,
Mom. I don't really want that, you
know, like nothing hurts more. I feel for a parent to because
I've always said, like my life up until I started dating mr.
Suit, and tie has never really been mine even in the fact that
I've graduated from college. And you know, many, as you know,
I live my life, very unapologetically my parents.
Don't know how I get down. Why are they proud of it?
I think they're proud of the radio aspect but as far as like,
how I conduct myself in my sex life?
Yeah, of course. They want their daughter to be a
little bit more reserved, if you will, you know.
So I definitely feel you on that aspect.
Yes, and that's that's that's where she was for a very long
time, but it got to a point where the interest was already
there, but I was just at a point in life, where it's like if you
don't do it, when are you I do it.
You know I heard this this quote and it was like life is not a
dress rehearsal. You know this is your final act.
So you know you can't say hey wait a minute.
I want to go and redo this again because I didn't get to do.
You know the lesbian things I wanted to do.
I wanted I wanted really wanted to do that but I didn't get to
do it because I was scared. You know what people were going
to say what people are going to do and I just got to the point
was like fuck it, you know, like they're going to talk about you,
whether your Doing good, whether you're doing bad weather.
You're crying with you over here happy and laughing.
So just do what makes you feel like you.
And this girl came on to me at the time.
It was like I swear to God I'm Simon and I was just like you're
there. I'm here I'm in that mode just
say fuck it. So let's just do it and that was
my first girl experience. And do you mind, if I ask, do
you mind, if I ask how old you were in this experience?
Hmm. C3.
I think about us. Oh wow, I was asked to college
for me. Wow, so you were a lesbian after
graduation? Yeah, basically, okay.
Yes, because if you want to be technical, my first ever, ever
sexual experience was with a woman.
Interesting. So like I said, the interest has
always been there, right? But I'm just never acted on it.
Got you. You.
And then, when did pansexuality come into play?
That was later down the line, because even in my talk, that
morning that you brought up, I said that I've changed my label
a couple of times to kind of find what fits me, because I
started out. And I was like, okay, well maybe
I am bisexual because I know I like men.
I know, I like women. I was okay, that that fits but
then I ran into a transgender and I was like, well, I find you
highly attractive you know, like, I was like I don't know if
that qualifies as bisexual anymore.
Like what am I like? I was in that odd space you
know, where you just as a queer person you don't know how to
identify sometimes and I was just like I'm me but I can't go
around just saying hey I'm just I'm just me.
I felt like I feel like the personally as I talked about it
in your chat you know getting the Discrimination being
polyamorous with a man. I mean we all mostly see suit
and tie on my social Idea because we live together, but I
also do have a girlfriend and she's on my in social media, but
she's also not one to be on social media all the time.
So therefore, it's like and it's science.
I've not it's not like I'm embarrassed by her by any means
but I protect I'm a little bit more protective of the women.
I'm in a relationship with because you know I can't trust
you love fuckboys of the internet who like to slide in or
follow. Whoa, the ladies who are might
be associated with them, the bedroom.
That is a real thing. Like yeah, I love my girlfriend,
she's hot as fuck. And when I do share, you know,
yes please drool away, you know, that's why I tagged her but
there's gonna be a factor that y'all need to stop on the
Internet is wine. Just because somebody is seen
with the man, and I've been seeing this a lot during pride
month on social media just because you see somebody who may
associate themselves as being gay, but they might be be dating
a man or a male presenting figure.
Please do not assume that they are straight.
Okay, stop saying like oh I guess you're out of that phase.
No, I'm not out of the face. My man very much nose and y'all
earbuds know I have full heartedly said, if my man were
to die. And even though I do sometimes
have, you know, sexual excursions with my girlfriend's
boyfriend because he's part of our poly tried.
I don't need to fuck anymore. Dick for the rest of my life.
Okay, like I hate to say it but main did, you know, did main
kind of ruin it in. Make me lean more to the
feminine side. Yes or no yes or no.
After just a certain time in my life I was just kind of sick of
it. I was sick of Dick.
Yeah yeah I've reached that point myself you definitely
reach your point after so many bad.
I'm not going to say bad sexual experiences but like Like they
weren't as pleasing as I would have liked them to be that
repeatedly and it kind of falls into that pattern of like just
the same thing. Different different day you know
different body you kind of do get tired of it you know and
then just you know the added factor of like not every man is
going to comply with the fact that their girl is not 100%
straight. Bye.
I could open that for a lifetime because so many men actors
though they want that until they actually have it or know what it
takes to get that and they don't want it, they don't want to put
in the work that it requires that.
I that I and then it's, yeah, there's just so many different
factors with that. Say, have you found it harder
being, you know, as you are a sexologist, you know, sex coach
educator when it comes to dating?
Have you found it harder to connect with men because of the
fact that one you have to divulge the fact that you are a
sex educator? So you're going to come correct
on a lot of the times when they are sometimes not so
sex-positive and then have you also found you know it just
being disheartening. When you're dealing with a guy
you may really like them but they don't like the queer side
of you. Yes.
So I've dealt with book I always have to Should do sex on the
first date. And that's why a lot of times
when I see couples and they're like, well I'm going to wait
until like 34th day to talk about it.
Like no, get that out the way you know, it's part of the
introduction like I'm meeting you.
So I have to meet all aspects of you.
That don't mean, I have to go into the nitty-gritty of what I
want to do to you but I least need to bring it up because I
need to know what type of person you are.
And that's going to tell me. Okay am I wasting my time?
Because if I get to the fourth date and then I'm like okay I'm
a sexologist This is what I do for work and you're
uncomfortable with that, I've wasted my time, mmm.
So you have to bring that up like, very, very early and be
very, very kind of firming that. Absolutely.
It can also go the other way. They're like, oh, well, you're
sexologist. What are you going to teach me?
And let's do this. Let's do that.
It's like know if I have to do that, you need to go and sign up
for a consultation. Because this thing that exactly
Exactly. Just it's hard.
Yeah, it's definitely. Like, I hate to say, it's like
coming out of the pandemic. Especially now I feel like
dating has been just absolute trash a just complete bullshit.
It's brought out the fuck Behavior.
Not just fuck boy, but it's just brought out a lot of fuck
behavior on both spectrums. I don't care how you identify
people are just becoming trash about what The fuck they want
and it's because we have time to sit and think about it.
We had too much time. Like, I always say I was joke
and say, we had too much time indoors because it kind of is
like everybody's going on right now.
Like, okay, outsides back open. Let me do the first dumb thing.
I can think of, oh wait, that wasn't extreme enough.
It didn't get enough attention. Let's do one another dumb thing
and it's just like, well, why? Well, I don't know.
I just I'm outside again. Okay, if you know like it's like
the manners Respect it just goes out the door and I would like to
say like, you know, even from the woman's standpoint here, we
are as women talking freely and open about sex and it's like,
there are still lesbians out in the world that are just.
As bad as men who lutely black personally.
For me, if I'm dating with like dealing with studs, especially,
I don't know what it is. I can't bag myself a stud and in
terminology. No.
Absolutely. Not every time, every time, it's
always like, oh, I know you're not like, gay gay, but I know
you're not also straight, but I also just can't handle this and
I'm like, well damn. And for the terminology you
guys, all right? As much as I love mine on melon,
ated folk. Okay, y'all got Butch.
Yeah you got started. Okay.
Yes. Like let me make this very clear
and say shout out to my girl. On Instagram Slippery When Wet,
she did a post about it a couple months ago because, you know, we
had to, we had to revisit that I really want to make it clear a
black lesbian, who is more, masculine presenting, or
non-binary but also, you know kind of androgynous identifying
that is your stud. Okay.
The equivalent would be a Butch for folks who are not in the
Black community. And this is not me trying to
make a race term. This is just me stating the
facts. Yeah, I was gonna say that's
that's what's kind of been embedded in history, a little
for us like the, the lgbtq history of things because back
when it wasn't as open minded, you know, everything wasn't as
open as it is and it wasn't as open to come out to your family
and friends. That was what we refer to each
other as. And so then language has carried
through, so you can't really kind of Change that.
Now, I know we've gotten into Today's time, we got all these
new terminology and things but that's something that's kind of
rooted in embedded in the history of the LGBT culture.
So I would leave that one as it is, please please.
And if you really want to question it, just go back into
the Harlem Renaissance because Harlem Renaissance for us in the
black community and Black Culture that that's our stone
wall, okay? Stonewall Yes again, Pride was
made by two women to trans women to trans women.
In of color. Okay, let's not forget that
history as much as we like to say Stonewall and all these
white gay liberals. No, no, no, no, no.
You do not have stone wall without our girl, March 2 p.
Hm, okay. You would not have that.
You would not have part of the sexual Reggie, you know,
Revolution as much as we love to stand, you know, Gloria Steinem
in the sexual Revolution. Shane and you know, so she ate
her with the pride culture to like there were black lesbians
in the Forefront. There were black Trends
identifying folks out there on the front lines as well at
Stonewall can, we can we please put some respect on that.
With that said, I don't know if you've heard about this but a
couple weeks ago, baltimore-based University at
John Hopkins. They are getting backlash from
lesbians because now they're defining us lesbians as non man,
according to their website non man-on-man, I quote, and I
quote, they said their glossaries new definition of a
lesbian came under attack as the as University Define the term as
a non man attracted to non men. This update was meant to be
non-inclusive to non-binary individuals who might still
identify as lesbians. That brings me to my next point.
Don't stop saying that non-binary folks.
Cannot be lesbian gay. Queer.
It's all under the fucking Spectrum, just because they
don't associate with their masculinity, or their femininity
in full does not mean who they are attracted, to is no less.
There are non-binary lesbians who are non-binary trans.
There are non-binary folks, period out there.
That that went like, Are we there really?
I mean, cuz I've even had to explain to my mom.
My mom in particular that I've dated a stud and she had no
intention of being a man as masculine presenting as she was.
She had no intention of ever being a man.
She did not want to change anything about her body, you
know, she was happy to present the way she presented dressed
the way she dressed. But she had no interest in ever
being a man and for some people they find that really hard to
grasp right. Extremely hard.
Hi or my favorite is, you know, you got the lesbian, who may be
married have kids with the man, but they are still very much
lesbian. Again, bringing it, you know,
back to even my personal life. It's like, yes.
I want babies with Suit and Tie. So suit-and-tie understands the
at the end, all be all, I'm gonna always be more attracted
to a woman and he will full-heartedly, you know,
support that, it's not that I have a hatred against men.
It's just I like what I like and as you know, a masculine
presenting lesbian, unless you've you ask them stop judging
them, by the way, they dress. Absolutely.
The clothes are just closed at the end of the day.
Absolutely because I can tell you close off.
Majority of them are very feminine in the biggest.
Her boom, boom. I mean we hate to generalize it
but yes let me use studies out there.
Listen, y'all more sensitive than my nipples.
Okay, but that's with respect, that's respect, if your English.
So look enjoyable, respect enjoyable respect, but like I
said, I still can't bag y'all, I don't know.
I would love a stud girlfriend. I would love that people
heartedly I like to try it you know like to try to say that I
could be a little masculine but I can.
I'm so list. I'm so lipstick and that might
be the reason why I can't bag me instead.
They're just like, I need the heels.
I'm not going to wear heels every goddamn day.
I got busted a sneeze. I got my ankles.
I can do it though. Like, well, I will buy a hill
before I buy like, okay, you know that's just me though.
Yes, yes, no. Like I I don't know why but I
would love to date like a feminine presenting woman.
They just don't, I don't know, maybe it's because I'm too
feminine and it just like no. Girl, we could be friends.
I always attract the studs. The closest I've had to it as a
stem and I do like a good stem. Its Chinese a little bit of
both. If y'all are little lost in the
sauce, it's it's a little mixture.
It's a little mixture of the Femme and the stud and together.
Ooh, Lord have mercy their own. They Rubble, the stems Doge.
The Sam's. They are dangerous.
Y'all know what the fuck you do to us.
You can't be eating pussy that good and then try to get up and
give me, you know, masculinity down at the bottom and then fam
on top. Y'all know what the fuck you
did? I just love it Heartbreakers.
That's what. Y'all are.
Heartbreakers Heartbreaker. I want you to give us the the
literary definition of what a lesbian is.
Versus what you think a lesbian is a see, the literary
definition is woman who date's and enjoys pleasurable
experiences from other women. Now, my definition is, I think
it's a little more than that. I think that some women you
don't even have to have like a sexual relationship.
I think. As long as you can have that
emotional connection with another woman.
Hmm. You know, have that close
intimate. It's would you kind of we all
seek it? You know that close intimate
connection between our partners? I feel like that can be
considered lesbian because a lot of women are attracted to what
lesbians do you know a lot of heterosexual women love lesbian
porn or love lesbian erotica because like I said you don't
necessarily have to be engaged with a woman to be considered
lesbian to me. I know you.
Yes. I Fully I get that.
And I mean, like, you talk to women and it's like, I love
being with women. I might not be like fully gay,
but I would date my friend because she makes me feel
comfortable. And I mean we're all, I feel
like Ian friendships, I think there are some times where there
are some lesbian lines, that may be crossed, you know, early on,
in stages hell. I mean, I used to kiss my girl,
friends, before I started really kissing guys.
Sighs. Yeah, you know college I was my
best friend will come over, and we could cuddle and take naps
like nothing sexual meant. It's just that that Embrace
that, that moment is what we needed.
Yes, though, it can get a little confusing because I definitely
will for some, yes, yes, has that ever happened to you?
That's the only thing it's like as much as I would love to say,
I love Having my girlfriend's. I don't have a lot of
girlfriends to begin with now in my adulthood like before.
Yes, that's all I've had. But now it's like, I really want
girls that I'm not fucking to be friends and I find it hard
sometimes to kind of blend with women who just want to be
friends because they think that I'm always hitting on the other
one. Like, no.
I actually really just want to hang out like, right?
Yeah if something happens how yes you know I'll be down for it
but it's Like sometimes I just actually want a girlfriend.
Who's not my girlfriend, right? You just want genuine
friendship? Yes.
Yeah. Yeah, it's so hard.
It is kind of hard. I will say, because I went to
brunch with a girlfriend and it was very hard, like, to leave it
on that friendship table. I had two friends on my phone,
boom, it was, it was not going to be just like I can Take one
that kind of firm right now. So I needed to stay at the
friendship level and I just know.
Patience patience is the word of the day, patience is the word
but you know why? Listen, avoid mimosas and bottom
is branch, that just brings out this a fake lesbian Behavior.
Listen a bottomless mimosas, and I'm done, whatever, whatever is
done at that moment, you have met the other side and once
that's out awakens, you are on your own.
That's like the word that is the absolute worst especially like
when I was experimenting in my 20s, there is one girl, I'm
trying to say it so I don't like because I know she's sometimes
listens but you know what fuck it was my bestie.
Okay. A lot of y'all know from the
early days of Instagram like you know I had my bestie and then
she moved away and I mean, the whole premise of how bestie and
I met, she kind of cheated on her girlfriend.
The first night we met okay, damn near like It was a hi, I'm
so-and-so. And next thing, I know, I think
it was like, 20, 30 minutes later we're making out hardcore.
Damn near fucking on a pool table.
Really, I believe my friends for introducing us because I was
like y'all. Y'all should have never just
know. Y'all should have never said it
was instant. It was instant and for a while.
I didn't mind being the other woman, you know, I don't mind
hanging out with the girlfriend being completely clueless that I
may have fucked her girlfriend two hours prior to us, you know,
having a graduation dinner for your girlfriend.
Oh my goodness. Going to Vegas with her and
trying to sneak a little quickie in the in the bathroom or
wherever we could. So our friends hey, you know, be
passed out in the living room or something.
Those are dangerous. Those are the dangerous
dangerous relationships with friends.
So I kind of see where I put my foot in the mouth.
I can see why Why women don't want to be friends with me
because they're just like, you're gonna try to fuck me.
I'm sorry. I don't believe in ugly friends.
I don't, that's not what I gravitate, okay.
A Time. Listen you are going to be
attractive, okay? Like you just going to have to
stay my friend. Like even me and my friend now
my closest friend she was like Jen I attractive as you are.
I keep telling myself, I can't fuck you.
Not even when it's not even one, right?
As she has to repeatedly keep telling her something.
So she has these conversations and I'm just like no toys, no,
toy don't toy. My God.
Now this is the one that's been on your cut your lives a couple.
Of times, right? Oh I'm definitely sense.
I was like they fucking yes, that is my best friend.
Yeah. She's one of my closest friends
Tuesday. So yes, we've had this
conversation many times such June.
You know, if we have a went there just know.
I would go there and I'm like, yeah, but we got to stay friends
because if we go there it won't be this level of friendship.
She was like nah I won't. So we got to stay friends.
Wait, wait, why the hell not white?
Let's talk about that because again, this is all about the
Sapphic love. I don't understand this This,
this is this. This is the part that confuses
me. I would feel that if you fuck
the, the besties, if you fucked your closest girlfriends, you
would think that would just kind of be like, The ceiling of the
deal. But they were so emotional, you
could be emotional and still be like, listen bitch, get the fuck
dressed like let's go to brunch, let's go shopping, let's go get
you some day. That's the type of friend that I
am. Do you does not work that way?
Well at least with me it has not worked that way with women.
Damn it has not and I've tried my best to like separate that
line but once I cross it with women, There's No Going Back.
And it's not even on me, like, I can do because I can separate
the emotional from sex. So I can do the, you know, we do
it Friday, Saturday. Hey, okay.
I don't even know what you're talking about, you know, type
with it. Like, what do you say?
We skip that this week, you know, and I'll be perfectly
fine, but like it always somehow comes back around it, like the
other person's like, I just can't do it so I stay away from
it. Mmm.
That's that's what's best for me.
I mean, listen to each their own and it's is about, you know,
protecting and securing the friendships.
But sometimes I'm like, what curiosity?
Just just happened. Just talk about it.
If y'all can be so vulnerable about the dick, in the escapades
that you may have with other people, you would think that you
could have it with your clothes clothes.
Girlfriend, who just had may happen to be lesbian, who that
you might just happen to be attracted with like, don't use
me as an experiment, I'm gonna know.
Right. Off the bat like but if you are
genuinely feeling your friend, your clothes girlfriend and you
might be questioning, I would say personally that should be
your best experience because at least it's with somebody that
you one trust one that you know you can feel vulnerable with
trust and vulnerability. Do come hand-in-hand yes they do
but I really think it's okay if it's like if you're that close
of a friend experiment with the friend and I get it again, this
is not You forcing every, every woman, listening to just go out
and get that Sapphic urge out, but if you have that rapport
with your friend, maybe test the waters, I don't disagree.
Test the waters a little bit. Are you finding it hard to
communicate to your partner of what you want and need?
Maybe you're sick of the old flick.
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orgasm at a time. Now back to the show, Let's talk
about the sexiness or the myths that people may tend to say
about lesbian sex. What are some of the myths that
you have heard? Especially you know, in your
practices have you may have heard about lesbian sex Hmm.
Good or bad either or yeah, give it give it to us.
Okay? So I do hate the the
misconception of bisexual women in the LGBT community.
Have a good one, I identify as bisexual.
There was a lot of, I got a lot of backlash from that like just
identifying is that. So I do hate that because if
we're going to be open and we want wanting to be accepted by
others, we have to also be Opting in our own community and
we self-hate in the community a lot, a lot.
And I just that really, really, really, really bothers me
because I see it a lot and different forms.
Yeah, I don't understand that either, and I'm glad that you
brought that up because my guest next week is a bisexual man and
so we're going to get into the bisexuality part of from a man's
aspect because I have definitely, you know, I've
talked about this numerous times and I refuse to take the episode
Down because I do believe in, you know, acknowledging when you
fuck up and making a mistake and you let people grow with you and
I feel like throughout the history of sapphires are play an
erotic City radio, I have definitely put my foot in my
mouth several times, even on, you know, people in my own
Community because I would say, if you're bisexual, especially
main, they're gay. But it's like, no, I've
experimented with bisexual men. Men and women, mmm-hmm they like
what they like? Yeah, they do.
And sometimes it's not about, you know, the tools down there,
it's the connection that's made even with lesbians.
I feel like we all have this misconception that all lesbians
are fucking horn, dogs. That all lesbians are pygmies or
that they're just, you know, done with dating men altogether,
or they're haters. The main that smiley choose to
go the Sapphic route, Light nanana nanana nanana.
Sometimes a lesbian is just born being attracted to women and
that's it. Yeah.
And had to, you know, assault her, you know, no one got left
at the aisle or cheated on her. No, I'm glad you brought that up
if you're with a woman who hurt you, so bad that you had to go
to women. I nobody hurt me.
Listen. If anything, it was bad sex,
okay? It wasn't had nothing to do with
the emotions of you hurting me over this person hurting me,
because, as we've said earlier, women will hurt you just as much
as men will hurt you. It does not change based on
gender and sex does changed tremendously.
And and that it look that's the positive, you know, with women,
I know My body was capable of doing where they did and I was
just like well this is what take bit and I was like you know I
need to tell other people about it is that Marathon sex you all.
It's the I don't have to wave for you know completion.
Hmm. Hmm, take breaks.
So yeah, we take breaks but I don't have to wait for something
to refill. No.
As hard as long as I want it to be hard, there's enough foreplay
like their sizes. I can actually choose.
I know where it's coming from. You know, I know that it's been
thoroughly checked because we don't say, you know, clean and
dirty unless you're talking about showers, but I know where,
I know where the produce is coming from.
Yes, I know the produce was thoroughly checked.
Mm-hmm. Yes.
And then you just open the door. I choose the tool, they're not
afraid to explore like you know there's a lot of positives with
lesbian sex. Let's talk about those positives
because I feel like again there's a lot of - you know - 80
when it comes to lesbian sex side.
Oh well you're technically not a virgin I'm like wait a second.
Penetration is penetration fingers, tongue feet?
Other body orifices if it's penetrating the vagina, I'm
sorry we're not virgins. Okay, like, we need to stop
getting that of the head or that your dick is the cure to
lesbianism. That's so insulting and a little
bit rapey. Okay.
It's a little rapey and I'm not just saying that because, you
know, cancer culture is real. No y'all really men with penises
we like to go after lesbians at a gay club where it's supposed
to be the safe space mmm-hmm. Okay.
Please stop. Assuming that if you go to a gay
club that it's okay to initiate in threesomes and I haven't I
took that especially in Atlanta, it's very very I'll say
prominent for a lot of the gay clubs there.
You will see a lot of heterosexual men just you know
dancing just is free and we are with our friends and the next
thing you know, they're right here behind you because you are
you can tell who's who's part of the community who's not.
And I'm okay, dancing with a gay guy.
I have no problem as though. We're stripping Great.
I have no problem with that because that's a night, you're
going home with him, I'm going home with her.
That's cool. But there are heterosexual men
that literally standing corners and like, prey on you in those
spaces. And that's not okay, like,
that's truly not okay, it makes it makes the whole trajectory of
the environment change. It really does.
Like, stop doing that. If you're interested in stop.
Yes, please immediately, like you have, you have spaces?
To go and find women respectively.
I'm not saying go creep at them at the street clubs either.
If a woman's not interested, she's not interested.
If a woman is lesbian and even says, well, I'm a lesbian stop
with your bullshit-ass line saying, well, I can change you
but oh, you can you can bring your girl, no kids.
Again, I've said it before in several interviews and I've
coined it here, I'm not into dick and disappointment, okay.
Dick and disappointment, your dick is bringing the
disappointment to the girl that I met associate with.
Okay, dick is not the end-all be-all cure for lesbianism and I
think that's what makes it so different.
Is that with lesbian sex, the concentration isn't just on
penetration, who, let's get into that.
Let's get into the positive. Yes, and I think that's where it
differs because with heterosexual, sex penis, owners
are trying to think penetration and with Being sense.
It's like you actually get to explore the Realms of sex like
of the experience of it. You know, there's four Flay,
there's all role you know because oral is sex, you know it
can't be the foreplay in the sex like you got to still get me
ready to get there and then there's the main the main
entree, you know. Like we don't sit down at dinner
table, okay. Where's the Andre?
So like sex is the same way. But like with lesbians, it's
almost It's like we take the time to enjoy it versus rushing,
through the experience, just for The Rush of the orgasm.
Hmm, we you know right into it you enjoy what was going on?
We actually take time to enjoy what I Partners doing what we're
doing to our partners, you know? She's just a pleasurable
experience for those who might be listening and being like I
would really want to get into lesbian sex, but I'm kind of
nervous of how to approach. Lesbian sex, what's the best
way? The first time he first time he
a newbie you know a new you know new found women going into
another experience with another woman.
Like what would you say is the biggest takeaway that they can
have to the best Sapphic experience?
See, times I look different now because I had to go out and
actually find these women. Whereas nowadays we have social
media where they can find you utilize that Utilize that.
And if you're at the stage where you have somebody, I'm going to
say, do what you would want done to you, you know, our first
instinct, when we get with someone, we showed them, or we
treat them how we want to be treated.
So, do the same thing, you know, don't change that.
I had to walk a friend of mine through her first experience and
I was like, don't don't overthink this like you have
evolved but you, you know, you know, your body go in there with
that mindset, if you don't know, or haven't Had that conversation
with that person to know you know do what you want done and
from there trust me they're going to guide you the rest of
the way and you'll be okay. I'm glad that you mentioned that
because I've definitely in my more recent feminine energy
exchanges as like to call it. There have been a lot of women
that will Express that they're attracted to me or attracted to
two women. Then it comes down to the
nitty-gritty of fucking and it's like well I don't know what to
do and then they can't reciprocate when I ask them.
Well what do you like done with your pussy?
Hmm. Do you masturbate and then when
I find out they don't it's like oh It I kind of feel bad because
I'm I've always said that I'm a little bit more harsh two main
than winning in the bedroom because I get it.
It's a little bit pressuring if you know, I'm doing all the
things and maybe I'm doing it really well and then I'm like,
okay laying on my back. Are you going to reciprocate
because I'm worried sit on your face right away.
Unless if you ask me to, you know, I'm not going to like
busted all out. You know, I'm gonna slow.
We ease into it. Maybe like a little finger here.
All you want my dildo? Okay, well, let's see if you can
handle, you know, the, the chocolate, you know, because
she's a little big, it's little big and thick, it's a little
intimidating, you know, but to just kind of sit there and I'm
just looking at you and after a while the candle starts to melt
and you start to fade away and I'm like, girl, are you gonna
fuck me back? Yeah.
I'm just letting you know, I would be so irritated with it, I
feel so light. That was the roof.
This was at my last place at my little Loft.
My mini loss compared to my big loss that I used to have.
And I know, she doesn't listen to the show, so I can just out
at all the way. She basically, she fucked the
whole. Like she went around the whole,
the poly tribe. Like we all had dates with her
and my girlfriend and I we are very light.
Like very understanding women. We don't shit talk but it's like
I had asked my girlfriend like listen, so I had relations we
have so on little solo time in him.
Was it a little one-sided? And she's like oh my God.
Yes it was and I said how did you navigate that?
Because I never wanted a girl to leave so quick for my house.
But I didn't want to be that asshole.
The kicker at it, 2:00 in the morning as a female.
So I let her stay the night but I was like Ready for the
morning. And I was so ready.
I was so ready. I did the whole like, alarm
clock at 5:30. I didn't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck. I was like, I need you.
I need you gone. Like, please, like I cooked you
dinner. I cooked dinner.
I, you brought me a nice whiskey.
I fucked you for three hours. And no, secretion no
reciprocation, no reciprocation. And it was that it was right
there. In that moment.
I was like, oh, evil sides can come out at any point.
Yeah, it is a female. We gotta treat the woman with
respect because I would not want this handled but to my ladies
out there, please stop baiting us.
That is a form of queerbaiting. yes, I've been made it before
and Please don't do that. Please.
That is what like, like the equivalent to blue balls.
It's almost kind of like the black blue clit is they say
like, as we can get that, what is it blue bulbs?
Because yellow color blue clip syndrome like if the clit is to
throbbing like I don't want to wear pants.
I don't already wear panties so it's like you try walking around
with a sensitive click that was like the main reason why I got
rid of my clit piercing is because it is very sensitive.
So now you're talking about sensitivity because of depravity
of sex, Yeah, we're there because I did the same thing for
the same reason and I've been there is the worst so it is.
So listen ladies, stop just just beat be honest and true with
your intentions. I rather you tell me that you're
not experiencing that department, and that you are
willing to explore in that department, then just full-on
agreeing. Like Listen, if I say I'm going
to eat your pussy, I'm going to eat your pussy.
That is it. You can't like I think you were
in the room during my birthday spanking chat and I said that
this pussy is Black Diamond pussy.
This is like going skiing on a black diamond and unless if you
are experienced, you should not be writing the mountain.
Yes. Oh my gosh, that is the best way
to put it. The way to put it because like I
mean you have it, okay for those who can't grasp how it feels,
it's like getting it's like somebody actually engaging in
conversation with you. You're hitting it off.
They're hitting all your numbers you're going to date.
It's like the perfect date. You get them in the bedroom and
then it's just can't get up. That's that's about the
equivalent to how it feels to be in a room, you know.
No, with a woman that's gonna we call him.
Hello, princesses hoof. But like, you do nothing, like
you're not even gonna grab it, like you're not gonna touch a
want to suck on some titties. Yeah, or even gravity know
anything. That's the joy of like Sapphic,
sex. Lesbian sex is a beautiful
thing. Like we said, it's a lot of
exploring. I feel like with penis.
The only surprise is, you know, the Growers versus, you know,
the already there's weird lesbian with the female, the
vulva. Expands it's like a butterfly.
There's different layers. There's many different textures.
Some are Harry, some are not Harry, some are barely Harry.
Some of them are fat. Some of them are are sticking
out. Yeah.
These shapes so many variations and I like food so it's like if
you give me something that I've never tasted in my life and you
busted It Wide Open, please. Yes.
Let me get my straw. Okay cuz It'd be like that.
No, but seriously like I love the variation of sex with women
like it's it's almost like it's a completely different
experience. Every time you go into the
bedroom, have you told you know what you're going to get here,
you know I know it's sex with you but like what are we going
to use today? Like how we're going to do it
today? You know like what position
we're going to try. Like you know you get to mix and
match and you don't get as much of that to me at least I can't
speak for everybody. D.
But to me at least and the heterosexual Partnerships that
I've had, you don't get that variation as much.
Yeah, like I have to the only variation that I really play it
out is, is yes, I do have sex a lot in my relationship, you
know, with my man. And there's a Dom sub Dynamic.
That's like now because we live together, it's not the same, but
we like to revisit every time but it's not like we're not
intimate, but you get me with a woman.
It's like I have the power To flip on a masculine and a
feminine approach of what I want to do with that woman.
I love to strap up because I do have penis envy.
I wish I knew what a pussy actually really felt like during
penetration. To I have all my gosh.
I have thought about that many many times I'm like, you know,
you can finger one and kind of get the idea but like I said, no
one. What an actual line?
Dick fails when I gets grip? I would love to know the right
because it's funny when it's, you know, the the pussy is
gripping on the dildo. Like you do feel a little like,
tensity pull and yeah, that might like slap against the clit
if you have the the strap positioned, right?
Or you have like a vibrator on it but it's not the same.
It's not the same. But last longer it lasts longer
It does. And I will say, the only thing
that I found myself missing like feeling-wise.
The most, did you know how, like it rest in between the two
cheeks in the morning, when you're cuddling?
Yeah, and you can kind of feel the morning would come up.
That is the only thing I would have to say, I genuinely missed
in a lesbian relationship. Yay, outside of that.
No, the morning wood is the finger slip in between her
thighs or like gripping the boobs.
In a certain position. It's not longer just like all
the boobs are there. No.
Like, I'm gripping. Like you awake.
These nipples ready? Okay, cool.
We in it. We in it to win it.
Oh yeah. Oh, it's that shit right there.
If only you were closer, I'm just going to put it right out
there. That's it.
I'm just putting it out there. Sapphires, always question on
the lady guys. I'm just saying it'd be a great
time. It be a glorious time.
I feel pleasurable experience. I love that.
What are some of your tips for women out there?
They want to just dive in like dive in on toys sex.
Give me your top three. Like if you had to in wrapping
just like, give it out there for the women out there.
First one going to say is go at your own pace.
A lot of times we go off of what we hear people talk about and
you know, like even today you can be In his pockets back and
you like, oh, I want to go out here.
Have sex with go with you on base.
You may not be ready to just jump into it, you know, try it.
Like I said, try a sex toy first, you know, or maybe watch
a couple pool, you know, ethical porn, that's plenty out there
now, you know, watch a couple flips and see how you feel.
You don't see how it makes you feel see what turns you on about
it. Then you can say, okay well
maybe I want to experiment and I got somebody close to me, you
know, and then second thing I'm gonna say is To do it feels good
to you like it's your life again.
It's not a dress rehearsal. Like once this is over, that's
it. Do what's best for you?
Because people are going to talk about you, whether you gave with
you straight, whether you clear, what do you hear?
You not hear, you're going to talk about you, regardless.
So you might as well do what you want?
Let them talk about you. Anyway.
Absolutely, what feels good for you.
You won't identify Square to it. Don't wait.
Wait, there's no perfect time. There's no right time.
Do it now. Do it when it's best for you.
And I will have to say Lastly, masturbate.
Oh Like, there's so many women and men, surprisingly, did I
come across that don't touch themselves, they don't know
their own body. Like, you can't expect me to
want to explore you more than you've explored.
You, I need to know what to do. You know?
That is your body. That is your temple.
That is your sacred place. Where your soul lies and breast
learn it inside and out. So that when you go to lay with
somebody, you say that wasn't next day, it's a pleasurable
experience for me. You can tell them exactly what
they did wrong and they Then tell them how to get it, right?
Hmm. You don't do that.
You don't take that time to spend with you, you're not gonna
know. And that's all I got.
I'm glad that you said that because earlier in our sexy
break, I know, I didn't like tell you, I was taking the sexy
break, but you heard the advertisement earlier in this
episode talking about Afterglow, XO actor, blue Afterglow, let me
tell you as far as like queer lesbian lightweight tips and
tricks and how to masturbate. This is the the place like I've
been plugging it in for months now and I was so glad that they
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So x0 Afterglow, use the code Sapphire, seven days free.
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the women who are curious about lesbian sex, please utilize XO
Afterglow.com because Hmm, chef's kiss.
Yes, it will definitely help. Oh, Miss J murrey.
I am so again, just thank you so much.
I can't believe how like time just flew by.
On this interview I have to bring you back because there's
just so much that we can talk about.
This is big enough. Where can people find you?
What is coming up for you and boobs to nari?
Give us it. Give it to look at it.
Tongue Tied again, give it to us, just give it all to Weiss.
So I'm pretty much boobs canary on everything, Instagram,
Twitter, YouTube, Facebook. You can also find me at the
booba fool sexpert booba full is be Ood is Fue El for those who
can't spell it. Thank you for that.
Yes, I do have some workshops coming up this month because
July's, my birthday month. So we're going to get into the
things that I like to do. So we're going to do it.
Oral workshop. And I'm also going to do a
writing Workshop, so that's coming up this month and coming
up in September. I have my pinky adult game night
in Atlanta so if you insert you know adult games but with a
kinky spin come on out. That's what I'm talking about.
So y'all please go and follow my girl J.
Murrey AK boobs canary on everything.
Of course, everything to get in touch with her is going to be
linked in the The bio of this episode.
So y'all won't have to miss a single minute of what she has to
bring. And you got to catch her on the
Mona because when she's on there honey she brings a whole fucking
Vibe if y'all like drawn here trust me her solo on her own
things. Hmm, it's plentiful.
It's plentiful already. Yes, it is.
Oh my goodness. Well, thank you so much for
joining the show. Oh, my goodness, like, again,
Sapphic love, who would have thought Talking about lesbians
just goes by that fast cause we can go for hours and hours.
Oh listen, literally. And with us so much fun this way
is like I said, please come back.
We would love to have you back on and a couple months and
whatnot. And of course, I know I'm going
to see you on the moon spaces. Of course, of course always.
And for the Airbus up there. Yes, there is more.
Sapphires your play coming next week with my boy Gregory.
Veronica. If you guys say that name sounds
familiar, I did go on to his podcast a couple weeks ago.
I believe it was called alphabet radio.
Yes, alphabet radio talking about being queer in the radio
industry. And now y'all are going to get a
taste of what it's like to be a bisexual man and the challenges
he has faced not just in the radio industry but also in his
dating life. So that will be of course next
week with that said, remember that safes.
Sex is the best hot sauce till next time, good night.
That was the show. All you sexy motherfuckers out
there. Remember to follow abney's radio
Sapphire and sapphires are play on Instagram.
One, Samir, orgasms of the past and future.
Make sure to follow on Apple podcasts, anchor Spotify iHeart
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