Warning, the following program is not for the weak-hearted.
Those were closed minded when General you're scared to learn.
What's behind closed. Doors here at sapphires are
clay. I want you to pour the wine.
Grab somebody that you want to hold onto or better yet.
Get the vibration stimulated through your body.
Get ready for one, hell of an eargasm in five, four, three,
two, one, what is up? All you sexy motherfuckers out
there in radioland it sugar. L, Sapphire another episode of
sapphires are play. And let me just tell you, I am
falling in love, just with my guests already.
Her beauty her Essence. And I just love the confidence
that she shares, especially on social media, especially in such
a trivial time. As we have talked about on
sapphires, are play loads of time talking about war on Sykes
talking about how women and women who exceed exude more,
Sometimes find themselves silence for no, absolute reason.
So, without further Ado, I'd like to introduce you to my very
special guest. Today, Isabel no Isabel Miller,
look at me, I'm already stumbling over my words.
Beautiful women stumble over the words Isabel Miller and
ambitious model content creator and she's an influencer based
right here in La, which is awesome.
And gosh, I love how your people even told me they're like,
you're not just, A model or talented content recreator, but
you also, like, to share on your platform personal experiences.
Give an intimate look on to your life, which is very much
appreciative and we can get into that as well.
So Isabel, thank you so much. Welcome, welcome.
Welcome to the show. Well, thank you so much for
standing ovation and wonderful introduction.
You are so welcome. Thank you so much for taking
time out of your day to be here. So I mean, goodness, there's so
much that we could talk about is, well, let's first talk about
your journey. Who are you like, where are you
going with everything that you do influencing, especially
because I feel like when we hear the word influencer, it becomes
such a negative word now. So how are you?
Especially, you know, coming on, sapphires are play talking about
sexuality. How do you use influencing and
sexuality and turn it into a positive thing?
Especially for women. Well, thank you for asking the
question and good question. I am, I think everything kind of
like felt very naturally to me, I started out modeling in New
York with a friend of mine. And we'll always take this
really gorgeous. Lingerie nude semi-nude pictures
and one day we didn't realize that hey, there's a market out
there to capitalize on that image and easiest way for me to
grow on social media at the time was Twitter.
I tried Instagram but I didn't get it that much at the time.
So I was like you know what? Twitter comes easy for me.
Just a lot less censorship. I can put whatever I want there
and it also has a really big mellow Again.
So that was like a perfect combination to really expand my
image there without, as many restrictions and also, we fought
as many comparison and beauty standards because I remember
Instagram back, then if you are not like a super Top Model with
ridiculously Photoshop body or, you know, let's be honest here,
lighter, skin tone. People were not merely checking
for you like that. You didn't change that much
today, but at least today, I definitely see more of a
diversity, which I love. And so, yeah, it started out on
Twitter and then from bears, pandemic came, only friends blew
up. And I was like, you know what,
this is my chance to, you know, really run it out of the park.
So I did that. I also blew up on Instagram and
today both combined platforms are like almost at a million for
like Instagram and Twitter, which is honestly fantastic.
I didn't expect it to lie. Road is fast honestly and I am
really grateful for a journey that I have so far.
And when it comes to influencing is also something that came
along, because I realize, hey, I wearing very beautiful laundry
that people ask me about all the time.
Why not start? You know, partnering is a brand.
So that's where I'm heading right now.
Partnering with more Brands lingerie swimwear and coming
soon, Fashion Beauty. Tea and move forward from there
because I always love you, no posing for pictures, modeling
really, sharing the beauty of what I'm wearing.
And it's a lot of people out there who love it and I love it
myself. When I see something beautiful,
another woman, I'm like added to the bag, I love that it also
again, it's beautiful to know that you've embraced and notice
inside, you know, like I'm banking on my body, I feel like
a lot of women, especially in this.
You know, day and age, where let's face it.
You know, we got the city girl era, we've had the little Kim
are a and especially in hip-hop. It's like we know the sex sells,
but it feels like now that there is this whole disconnect between
women who want to sell their bodies, and then the women, who
shunned, the women who want to sell their bodies and marketing
in any way, possible Very true. I think, is this eternal game of
cat and mouse that has been happening for centuries.
If not Millennia, T, societal whore versus Madonna?
Complex of okay. You can kind of like, tiptoe
around selling sex, but you can't actually sell it.
Hmm. Oh, my God.
Point there, because, especially, and maybe you feel
the same way. Do you feel that especially with
the era of only fans? And I've definitely talked about
this How you know, we did see a rise in content creating when it
came to adult more lingerie fetish, you know, body image.
If you will sex selling and women just, you know, left and
right. And like I'm going to create an
only fans. I'm gonna be there.
So I'm gonna be that, but don't call it porn, don't call it
porn. Don't call it erotica.
Just call it adult modeling. And I'm like, um, that's all in
the same umbrella. Why is it such a negative word
for you? Would you say if someone says,
oh, she sells porn clips? Or she sells body Clips, she
must be an adult star. Do you get just like do you feel
like a disconnect? Do you correct?
People like where would you say you classify yourself on that.
When people ask you, that's actually a great question from
that standpoint. I understand both sides because
all tend to automatically categorize only fans us porn
while it's really not always the case.
So I always like to give freedom to people able to classify some
self, however, the desire to classify themselves as and at
the end of the day semantics are semantics because if somebody
sells clips of God knows what and they're like, well I'm not a
porn star because I just sell clips and so be it and also it's
like a lot of people perceive different terminology
differently because sometimes when people that say is a commie
a pornstar it's like okay, I'll take it perfectly fine, whatever
you want to call me as but I do identify more with Adult
modeling then being a quote unquote porn star because I
have, you know, some friends of mine who are poor Stars.
I've collaborated with porn stars, and for me, say a return
porn story actually need to be a star or unique to be like on
brower's and have these big Productions and I've never been
mainstream production girl. It's like, yes, I do only things
I've done porn before and it's like, if people say, oh, she
does porn. It's like okay, fine, whatever
you decide. I tried to call me as but does
not necessarily the majority of my brand.
So I think there's a lot of nuances there because if I
recorded a few videos before and for the most part, I collaborate
with Brands and posed on Instagram and Twitter and chat
with my friends share Clips do vlogs.
You know do I really could qualify as this huge porn star
who's out there making this gorgeous movies and everything.
And I do agree. There is a stigma and a lot of
people want to run away from the stigma and I know that is
controversial, but I don't blame them either.
I'm running away or stigma, because why would they further
put themselves in a difficult situation if they don't want to
be there, I think a lot of people tend to, like force
labels on others. To like, you have to label
yourself as a sex worker. You have to label yourself as a
porn star. You have to label yourself at
this. This is who you are.
And it's like, let's Just focus on who we are ourselves.
It's like, if you identify as this activist sex worker
preaches for the cause and everything.
Then build a community where people feel more comfortable
being themselves in the first place versus further dividing
everyone. Because listen, I think it's
hypocritical to complain about stigma and then complain about
the people who want to run away from the stigma because there's
a lot of corn syrup or like retired and build on a branch
outside. Warren because people few people
want to admit that the adult industry has a glass ceiling.
Has a glass ceiling, it has an expiration date and there's ways
to get around it. You can have your own Studios
and work for it in the long term.
Does everybody want to do that? And though, so it's like if
somebody is like a miracle if I decided you know what scroll
that I want to mount thing and actually go way above and beyond
things, adult industry. Because let's be honest here, if
Mia Khalifa were shooting the same videos and decided to do
the same old thing over and over again.
She'll still be dealing a lot of stigma and maybe the studio will
have, you know, bouncer around kick around because if he
doesn't sell as much anymore, this is a new girl coming in.
So it's like can you really blame her when she said, you
know what? I didn't feel comfortable in
that industry and now this is who I am and this is who what I
want to do. I think some people into the
industry are bitter about it because they say oh how dare
her, this is the industry made her and Etc and then which is
partially true. And I can see how there's a bit
of a game here where it's like you do capitalize on where you
started and then use that leverage to move forward and I
don't blame them for moving forward.
He said he has a bit of Storytelling here to further
shock civilians about how bad industry is.
But then again who we who Are we to, you know, deny her own
experience exactly. Everybody should have a voice.
Another example, be Lana roads, she spoke against her timings
adult industry. She's like, hey, I didn't have
that great of a time here. This is what happened to me and
now this is what I'm going to do.
And once again, I do not blame her.
She's not going to stay somewhere where she's stuck and
what she does not feel comfortable and she doesn't feel
like she can try. So it's like if you really want
to support sex workers and women into adult industry or adult
interest HSN jobs, let's just support them in whatever they
decide to do because Society is hard enough on us.
We don't need that in fighting and bitterness.
I had to give that one because so backstory, you know, you and
I are just meeting for the first time but I also work behind the
scenes in the adult industry. I've been working in the
industry for about 13, 14 years almost as equivalent to being in
the radio industry and it is two different worlds.
For sure, it is two different worlds and everything that you
just said. I totally full.
Heartedly agree. 2% because you do have the women who are in
poor and that wished you just have longevity.
That's it. That's all they want to do.
And then there's women who get in, but they're also doing 50
billion other things. And so they see porn or the
adult industry as the way in to get themselves out, quick enough
to go and dispersed wherever they else want to plead, you
know, we've seen it with Chloe Cherry, who is now one of the
biggest stars and you Borya, you know, yes, even just like,
recently, everybody's been talking about Sheree de Ville
and how she's been speaking out against, you know, Instagrams,
sex censorship. And now she's going into the way
of activism which is great and dandy but it's also like there
is a very big disconnect when I talk to you certain content
creators, who do only fans who have done, you know, softcore
hardcore porn, but they don't want to ever reflect on. the
industry that kind of made them and that's where I get a little
upset because I'm like if you did not have that outlet, You
would have nothing, you know what I mean?
You would have nothing. It's almost like you do have to
go back and look at your roots and where you came from to kind
of get to the next higher level. And I love how you said that.
Because again, it's not an industry for everybody.
It's not a get rich, get quick, get in and out, kind of thing.
You do have to put some work in and I think there are a lot of
women and just people in general who think that just putting up a
couple Clips here and there. It's going to make millions of
dollars, but then when the high in demand comes then it's like,
oh, I don't want to do it, I got what I wanted, that's it.
But they don't think about the consequences, which is, of
course, once it's on the Internet, it's already out
there. Yeah, it's there for life,
you're very true. So, with that said, would you
say for yourself being a, you know, adult model being in
lingerie and, you know, being a beautiful curvy Just woman,
would you say that this has helped your confidence?
Like where has, you know, shutting yourself for the world
to see built that confidence? Was it always in?
You, was it something that you kind of gradually worked up to,
you know, when you're like, okay, maybe this time, I'll show
a little bit more, you know. And that's more comforting
because I've heard women and just people in general, who have
said the minute, they started doing more nude work.
Ood artwork nude prints. That's when their confidence
really built because it's like the world's going to see me and
I want the world to know that my body can also reflect.
There's especially when you're not talking about our usual
small teeny teeny a cup you know, size 9 or 1, if you will,
I'm talking full figured regular everyday body is that people can
see and be like I can do that. That's a very, very interesting
take because I've always, I feel like I've always been really
comfortable in my body and Wells are.
There is some, you know, issues here and there were some days
I'm like oh you know, I wish I was a little more fit whatever
and it's like it doesn't really last long and it's like a lot of
people go through that. So I think one thing that really
helped me with my confidence is just You just show up every day,
no matter how I judge myself. Mmm, and as time goes along
ai-chan away from the self-judgment and I try to be as
accountable as possible to be like, this is not about others.
This is about me and how I perceive myself because people
sometimes, you know, they underestimate so open-mindedness
of the public. Hmm.
It's like sometimes people on like you're my goodness.
Is this bitch topless pictures of me out there and you know so
what is going on? But really is really not that it
hasn't been the case for me. Mmm I think for the most part I
live a pretty normal life and most adult entertainers I know
also do. It's like sometimes yeah you
don't have fans coming up to you and say hi which is sweet you
know it's respectful is kind and besides that you know it is It's
pretty neat. You know I have been comfortable
with it and I was always a curviest women.
I've been thin before now I'm on my curve year side era you know
either way it's been fine. It's like yes you're going to
have some trolls and insecure people projecting on you.
Like you know, you look better when you was smaller or whatever
and it's like, you know what? More power to you, you can leave
mmm. Either way, I've learned to see
Beauty in me. No matter what because it is
there no matter what, so that's just fundamental that I have and
the one that's going to carry me over time.
Because I think it's very easy to get into this tis, really
toxic cycle of self-depreciation, a negative
self-talk and compare self comparison, especially as an
Instagram model because people see them online.
And be like, oh my gosh, you know, that's very realistic for
me, which is a lot of times like this, but they don't realize
that it's a girl also has unrealistic standard for herself
because She's not the only one here.
Who does. Who's comparing that girl that
you see might be comparing herself to some other girl out
there who is perceive a sexier and hotter and more popular and
Etc. And it's then you get into that
weird. Once again, really shallow cycle
of competition based on looks and Etc.
Which is a negative sum game because at the end of the day,
we're all going to die. Die.
We're not going to be young and beautiful forever.
The popular In Crowd that was there 20 years ago.
It's not the same one. Now man, who exactly is winning
this game. I don't know.
And that's not the big thing. Like for like personally for me
that's the biggest struggle that I have.
Now I feel that I you know I am in a more curvier side of my
life than I was before before I was in high school doing sports
even in college. I you know, To the gym and
stuff. But then the pandemic 8 gyms
closed, I got a second job. Now it's kind of hard for me to
hit the gym the way I used to, you know, before the world
changed, if you will and lately. I've been trying to, you know,
shed my skin a little bit more to be a little bit more
comfortable. Because if I'm doing a podcast
last podcast like this a show like this for years, where I'm
talking about how How genuine and into my sex life.
I am that. I don't give a fuck.
I'll brag about the sex of the orgies everything I ever do
that. I am so comfortable in my body,
but yeah, I love them myself. Yeah, you love it and yet I look
at myself sometimes I'm like, why the fuck, why the fuck are
my partners with me? I don't see, you know what
others? See, you know, I then you go to
the comments which I know is like the Dreadful thing which
are never What to do on social media is go to the commons and
engage, but when people are telling you, you're obese lose
some weight, you're a poster child for being fat.
That's not right. And then, especially being a
woman of color or a queer woman of color, you know, I've heard
it from all aims of the spectrum where, oh, it's always the
polyamorous folks that are ugly and fat.
Like, why are you advertising that?
You know what I mean? And it's like, did I come to
your house and shit on your Lon, why are you shitting on mine?
I'm trying to better myself. The clouds are the internet is
like, you know what? If somebody's making those kind
of hideous. Comments Gentiles are Z feel
like crap about themselves in the first place or not
projecting. So the way I see it is that I
would already put them into that category and this is not a
category. I tolerate on my platform.
So immediately there are kicked out because Is my platform is
actually dictatorship. This is not for see where you
can be miserable in our phones. Curled around and take your time
to comment, stupid stuff. It's like you're free to find me
beautiful. You free to find me an
attractive and you're free to just crawl along and move on
like the majority of people who don't care about me or my
content or Etc and when it comes to like, this is stigmatization
and prejudice against Podium useful.
How do you say heard about like swingers clubs?
You know, where will like everybody thinks I I feel and I
do blame a lot of porn. I mean listen, we can all blame
poor and for a lot of things because for the longest porn had
a certain image. If you weren't a size 0 or 1 2,
that's it, like we said, Taylor complexion blondes, you know,
blonde hair, that's it, then it's like the black girls get
into porn. Ebony porn has been around for
as long as you know, the dawn of age.
But There's also been that aesthetic of black girls and now
we're seeing more bimbo, vacation happening, even amongst
black women. So now it's like making it
harder for people to be like. Well I can't get into porn.
I don't have you know injectables.
Yeah. I don't look like these girls
that I may get off to by myself or to my partners and then of
course you see it on television it's like there's a AIDS, weight
tolerance of who's curvy on the camera?
Exactly, it's kind of like to see more duration rules about,
why cook cell and Etc. I think a lot of times the
executive artists places are stockings our own ways and don't
necessarily understand the variety and open-mindedness of
the public. Eye was funny enough.
I was actually listening to podcast that Edward n fo CX.
I believe editor-in-chief of British books and about you know
when he appeared at when they started working at British
hopes, it was very you know stereotypical white women on the
covers because people assume that women of color did not
sell. So it's that prejudice that is
still entrenched in media to this day that thankfully is
going away because when he came there, we saw these beautiful
Awful covers our young say black celebrities, Brown celebrities
diversity that. He wanted to implement there and
see because that's who he always worked with.
And he said, you know what, why not put it on, put it out there
and he realized that. Hey, so numbers said financials
are through the roof. Most people buy into diversity,
all these corporations are not putting diversity Chief officers
and out there for nothing. That's operations, care about
money. Diversity cells but people done
again, hold on to their own Prejudice especially on for
example of Island and I'm like, this is boring.
I'm so glad you brought love Island up because that is the
pouring. It's like where our where's the
diversity? That, where is he
interestingness? That I want people that are
interesting and it's a carbon copy of each other 22 year old,
skinny long, maybe black and tall model looks great.
But what else? Right?
There's always a certain prototype and it doesn't matter
what the TV show is, but love island is the perfect example.
Because they're in bikinis like 90% of the time.
They're in bikinis there in swim trunks, and I have yet to see
someone like yourself Isabel, especially full-figured,
gorgeous in lingerie, gorgeous, and swimwear, getting some love
on the island, like, what is it? Go wrong about that.
And then even when you come to American television because I'm
so we're talking, love Island, UK and Australia.
Fuck USA like, but the American dating shows, We've all seen it.
It's all the same prototype. There is no real full-figured
woman. In fact, I think the first time
I actually did fall in love with seeing a full-figured woman in a
reality, show was an Isa aneesa on real world.
She was in the Chicago Season, she was a lesbian, and she was a
new days and she was curvy, and she was kind of, it was great.
She had a great storyline coming from a nudist colony.
Growing up but, you know, the house kind of ostracized her,
for being naked and full figured and being queer, and just being
so free with her body and it's like, no fuck that.
When you look at it, it's been now, almost 30 years since her
season had aired, I can't believe I'm aging myself like
that, but it's been like, 20, 30 years since that season, and it
still holds to the say, to me of why I felt like it's okay to
shed some skin. It's okay.
As a full-figured Woman as a queer woman, to try to be
comfortable at sex parties to get naked.
When I started going to sex parties about five, six years
ago, I didn't even have sex of the parties.
I didn't take my top off, I refused because I felt like one,
I felt like I was on the menu because I was young and a lot of
these sex parties and swinger parties, a little bit older.
Crowded even the ones that they say, oh, we love the 20 year
olds know you love the 20 worlds because you're 60 and up looking
for some young thing thing. So it's, you know, but that's
what I also love about going to sex parties and going to more
Kinks entered events because you see literally every body that is
good. Everybody.
I love it. How?
Some places, celebrate everyone, and ostracize and I think a lot
of that is internal. It's like nobody forces you to
feel sexually attracted or enemy to someone, but there is a basic
level of respect where it's like sometimes people as soon as they
see that somebody's overweight or not, always expects them to
lock, is like, get away from my face for real, and it's That's a
reflection on you, because if you if that's what you think,
then you might really reconsider how you feel about yourself in
the first place to project. That disdain on others, it
costs. Nothing to be kind and
considerate. Nothing, mmm.
Are we really losing out on these people?
I made the conclusion that, you know what, if somebody is being
weird and you know, Standoffish because I look a certain way you
know what? Great get away from me.
Please, it's then I can welcome to love.
That is actually given to me and that's something that I make
sure that I honor. Like, for example, is he is
examples, is the comment section because for every negative
comment just going to be 10 or hundreds of positive ones and I
make sure to read I appreciate those like them if I can reply
reply, because these are people who love and support me versus,
you know, so goofball, who's like, who she is?
Wearing a bra, and it's like, you know, what?
Great, you know, you're out of here.
Mmm. I love that.
We're going to take a quick sexy break and then come and right
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Just do what y'all just do it. Welcome back with Isabel.
Oh my goodness, we have been talking so much like good gems.
And I want to Circle back on a couple things again, talking
about sex cells and just gaining that confidence.
Now, let's talk about the bedroom confidence because I
feel that maybe you can relate with this to have you ever felt
yourself? Sometimes where you're in the
bedroom, you might be. On top and you kind of get that
like shyness of letting your curves, just touch your
partner's body or let your partner touch your curves.
For me, it was like the longest I'd never liked my stomach being
touched during sex. Good question.
Honestly, I never felt it because I realize, if somebody
is in the bedroom with me, they're here for me and
everything that comes with it. So is, there is a bedroom with
me? Chances are, it's already love
my curves and you say, like, I feel it that's alot of my curve,
so you know, let them embrace it.
I'm racing do and it works out well that way.
But when we think about self-consciousness, I don't
know, it's like I think the bedroom Journey somewhere where
I feel really free and open and that self-consciousness is not
really. There may be some times when I'm
on top and I get fired, I feel like I'm lazy but that's fine.
So get over it there with the Baddie in the bedroom, they're
fine, they're being blessed, there we go but you know I feel
that Sometimes even if the cameras are off in a lot of
people do say cameras off. I'm not my full confidence
lights on lights off, but when I'm on camera, I'm thinking
about what may happen with once it's out there, you know, how
are people going to respond and receive?
I might think I look bomb as hell and then someone's in the
comments being a clown. But, like you said earlier, you
know, for every clown, there's like 10 to 100, other positive,
Comments. So how would you say for someone
who may just want to start embracing their body showing off
their body? A little bit more and modeling?
Where can they find from the bedroom confidence to the
on-camera confidence? Because I know there's sometimes
there could be two different connections and a disconnect
when it comes to that because again you're sharing your body
with just one person or many people however you live your
best sex life. However, you get it in but then
also When you're sharing it with the camera, the world is seen
this can't, you know, seeing yourself through that lens and
that's it. Good question.
I think let yourself kind of like embrace it naturally.
Not force things. Because let's say that on
camera. You feel different and not as
confident. Just take it slow.
If you want to film by yourself, do it by yourself because I
think about filming, especially if he's just you or, you know,
taking our pictures you don't have to publish it right away.
Mmm it doesn't have to go out there to work right away.
So I think a good thing to prep yourself or just to just take
content for yourself. Just do it for yourself if you
want to share it with your partner.
Great. But you know, take your own It's
and keep it ready to like get it out there.
Do the processing, the practice nudes, if you will exactly,
exactly. Because then you start getting
more comfortable and you camera seeing your body.
And to some extent, you will get the sense that I saw it.
You're like oh it's no big deal like my fondest hundreds of
millions of meals, like whatever.
I'm used to it and it's like also there's so many people out
there who do porn who are not necessarily 10/10.
Dance or supermodels. And I think that's actually the
majority of the porn industry is like, not everybody up there.
It's like somebody who's on a book cover or anything like
that. A lot of people in Port look
normal. So, women look, you know,
there's a higher standard for the women but at the same time,
there's also especially for many fans way.
We wait more diversity in body size because I know women of any
size, Age, you know background who does 0f women, who look like
you women, who look like me women who are older shorter much
bigger and there's an audience out there.
Who be like oh my goodness I'm in love.
I love that. So sometimes we overthink about
how the public will perceive us, and most of the times the people
there is out on PornHub, going out of their way to click on
your video. They like what they see that's
true and, you know, it also brings it to the point of like I
wish people would stop saying that they secretly love a bigger
full-figured woman that shouldn't be ever secret.
You know, there are beautiful full-figured people out there
who are just Wanting to be loved and reciprocated, but when you
start hiding it like a secret, I think it was this.
It was a couple weeks ago, an old clip of Howard, Stern pulled
up, and it was him, interviewing John Cena, the wrestler and he
talked about You know, fucking a bigger woman.
He was with a group of his guys, and, you know, he did jokingly
say, like, I did take one for the team, but it was a beautiful
experience and Howard Stern. Just couldn't wrap around his
head that John Cena, fucked a bigger woman and it's like It's
pussy. A man is not going to reject
pussy especially if the pussy comes with personality, I would
never reject somebody for having a good personality and say, oh
no, that's a no-go Zone because of their body.
I joked around and years ago and I said, I can never have sex
with a man with bigger titties than me.
I still have never fucked a bigger man, but I also don't
fuck a lot of men, but if there was a man who made that
exception made me laugh, treated me, you know, Oh well, and I'm
like, oh yeah, maybe you're doing things to me and you got
bigger titties than me, maybe I will have that experience.
You know, I'm not going to like knock it until I try.
It kind of thing. so, coming back to that, it's like You
know, talking about the dating life, where do you think sex
cells in dating versus sex selling?
Or if there is a difference it's like selling on just only fans
or would you say it's almost kind of like the same because
people swiper what they like. But there's also that like
secret, I can't like it on my dating profile but I'll like you
and by your Clips secretly on only fans, but I'm not going to
tell anybody that I'm into big women.
I'm going to keep swiping. All the skinny women on a dating
app, be seen with a skinny woman on a dating app.
But I secretly like full-figured with it.
Hmm. Well, in that case, I think yes,
there is this category of man. But I honestly felt when I was
dating, I mean, I didn't feel like my partners were seeing me
the fetishy way personally, I think like something that I felt
like Sarah fetishizing. A bet was my status online.
Like, wow, you since the grandma roll?
I don't know. Especially in America, where
it's like, Do I really want to give them that opportunity?
I don't know. So I always felt like dating was
a bit overwhelming for me at that time because it's either
people. Don't think you real on two
profiles. I think you're fake profile,
whatever. And then it's like, oh, they see
you as this as this, you know, this Instagram model.
Yeah. And it's like, there's also men
out there who just you as a person.
Beautiful women, that's enough to date an Embrace and a lot of
men out there who do love Curve Your women.
So it's not necessarily about, you know, I think especially
nowadays, but being thin, but it also depends for their own,
their friend group because they're like, oh, if their
friends are judgmental, then chances are she'll be judgmental
himself because they'll be like, oh, my friend, is going to bring
something funny about me if I see this girl, so I'm Keep it on
the low. Right?
So I don't know, I feel like sometimes I felt like I had the
opposition from, you know, they'll be FaceTiming leaves our
friend and I felt like, you know what?
I'm not too sure pointy. So, you know, I there's a new
ones there because I do like, discretion and privacy when it
comes to dating and intimacy. But when it comes to, like this
whole weird fetish, if Aang, there's so many options out
there, if I feel like somebody is treating you like a secret.
Chances are they are. So I think one good thing that
women need to do is to not guess like themself I feel like if
you're dating someone unless he's just, you consider them a
booty call and you don't really be seen in public with you, some
either, right? And they should be, at least
taking you out, you know, treating you well and if you
decide to be intimate with them grades, but you should not be a
weird secret. 1010. Would you say also in the lines
of sex selling, there is a cultural divide on that to.
Like, if you go outside of the Americas, I feel that depending
upon where you're dating, or where you might be doing
content, creation, bigger bodies, are praised Oh, good
question. I think it's the opposite
because America Praises bigger bodies, Martin Europe, real a
100% Europe. Maybe see you case a bit more
open-minded. I just miss you.
Okay, it's a bit more open-minded and let's say,
France, or Italy. Because I've noticed there is
like, once the sea Bigger bodies as an ailment it's like oh
you're overweight or something wrong with you.
Wow. Because those are different,
it's a lot less. A lot less sedentary, 10 America
and the quality of the food there is also more regulated So
and I've better work-life balance so it's easier there to
be fit then here. And but it's also very cultural.
They do have that, you know, skinny white Duty.
You know, are concentric ideal of beauty.
So if somebody doesn't necessarily fall in line with
that, then you're kind of like an oddity.
I'll I believe, because sometimes I go in to shop there
and it's like you know, the size size, a large there in Spain is
monsters necessarily the same large that's here in l.a. right?
Exactly exactly. I nothing offends me more when
they say oh yeah we got we got to excel in.
It's clearly an Extra large, it's clearly a large or medium.
If you will. I do remember going to when I
went to Italy and I was like, I really can't find anything even
as a sixteen-year-old girl because I had really strong.
It's built for off. If you're not an extra small,
good luck. Oh my God and yeah, it was so
crazy because the Italian main drooled they drooled over black
skin curvy body. It was like almost On display.
And then, of course, you know, you go into Nigerian cultures
and you know, I'm West Indian. So from Barbados and Jamaica and
it's like Bigger is better that, you know, they try to say and I
love that but also I feel there is that disconnect even hear me
americanize Nigerian main. It's like they do want the child
bearing hips woman but also they still rather be seen With the
the skinny influencer, you know Bearskin model I'm like wow I
say that you embrace all of a black woman you want has to
offer but you only want to be seen with me at certain things
may be at certain cultural events versus like in the club
in Vegas or out in the club on a rooftop in New York, it's so
weird to me. So so weird to me that they're
still just like these little here and there's like oh You're
sexy and cute but only sexy for this type of event, only on this
night of the week that kind of thing.
It's so crazy. And then when you put it in all
perspective in, you know, the aspect of marketing, it's kind
of like there is still that I especially now in radio because
they want to see more of us. They want more of the radio
jocks to be more glammed up and they want us to start looking
like news reporters and I'm like, we did not get into this
industry in the first place. To be seen.
So now you're telling me I might have to drop a little weight
now, you're telling me, I got to put a little bit more makeup on,
and I have to look the way I sound when I first heard that.
I was like exactly beginner and yet, I'm told my voice is too
seductive to be on certain radio stations.
Like my God would you, would you rather me sell your product if
it's like cells, then let my voice, sell the product, sell
the station, you know what? It's almost like.
They don't want people who fall outside the norm to be desired.
Yes. And I'll put that.
Also that weird dichotomy of all we like you but and just want to
the Wayside. This is too dangerous, right?
It's if it's on you can't take it there for you for your
personality and to Big package and there's going to be an
audience that's like oh my gosh worse worse.
A fire. We want to see her because we
love her and they don't want to really open that gate because I
feel like to some extent. And challenges our own
perception of the world. it challenges the own perception of
society because it wont to still feel like Society, only likes a
certain type of women and certain ideas of femininity and
certain ideal of beauty and like maybe your beauty ideals Only go
so far. Maybe a lot of it is in your
head will be your Social Circles.
And even there is kind of forced because it's a group of people a
group of guys start on like who I like this girl and I liked
that girl. Not like this, not like that but
I also feel like there's a counter balance to it.
Let's say for example the Nigerian men who is maybe more
person eyes has a higher Social Status and want to be perceived
to be a certain way around certain women.
Then it's going to be very challenging for him to be
himself and say, hey, I like this girl because that's the
other guys are going to be like, what's wrong with you?
You guys look that and then he's also first trains on their
relationship because she goes somewhere in terms of guys are
sneaking them. And it's like and then the
grandma can comfortably say like, why am I even here?
Your friends are dicks. So, then he sells for this, The
girls attracted to. So I could get, this is fine.
I'm, I like her as well. And she's safe, so it's safe.
But also does it really mean that he's loyal to her?
That's another counteract, their action.
Because I also noticed that people that are overly fixated
on beauty, see it as a commodity, and the miss out on
the uniqueness that makes you as a person.
So, because your commodity, you're easily replaceable, hmm.
If your day, is there for your looks and blond hair, and blue
eyes, and skinny body. Next day, it's just going to be
your carbon copy out there. Nice about it.
Is it's going to be your carbon copy of There.
And so it's going also to be that pressure on the girls.
Like what half has to be this way.
I have to be this way and it's like, you're don't really feel
as loved and respected as you should be.
So, sometimes people, I feel like we missed those
fundamentals and we your to Virtual stops only looks, but
looks they fade people change. So, there's an Essence to the
person that sometimes people are missing, and the like, that's
why sometimes we see two celebrities and really popular,
man in that pleads with stunning women.
But it's almost like it's never enough for them.
It's a culture in never Satisfied.
That's yeah, that's kind of like where we're at.
Now even in this digital era as we wrap up this digital era it's
like we're never quite satisfied on social media. 100%, you know,
you might get two million likes one day and then only 50 likes
the next, it's never like a consistent model and I feel that
I, you know, while it can be a booster, it can be a confidence
booster, you know, I was talking about it in therapy.
The earlier today, it's kind of like I'm tired of social media
becoming such a popularity contest, where people have to
feel the pressure to look a certain way.
And that's the social standard of what's going to make them
pop. What's going to make them so
harder? It's not, you know, genuine
personality anymore. It's do they shed more clothes?
That's fine. That's going to get the like
right there but the minute they put those clothes.
Jean or the minute. They show a boyfriend or
girlfriend or whatever. Oh, fuck that they're gone.
We're out of here. Pull out.
Now, they're not selling the brand.
If sex cells, then let all aspects of sex cell.
Oh yes! Okay, let all aspects of sex.
I'm talking full frontal full-figured, all different
shapes sizes, you know, disabilities, if you will.
Okay. Amputees can be sexy.
I've seen them women with Vitiligo sexy.
Oh yes. Okay.
Let's Excel and stop. Putting a cap on.
What is the meaning of sex selling as we've been talking
about? It's very that confidence.
It is but I think itno today's a great news is that cap is slowly
blowing up because anything that's forced this going to be a
counter force and then the truth itself of be settled.
Hmm. Goodness, I think we can
understand that because that's that's the way it has to be.
I do see it. It has to be more of it and we
just have to continue that. And what you've been saying to
me today it's like it's I'm gonna go back to this and I'm
like, I got to pull up a couple mantras from what you were
saying and work on my own self, and I appreciate that.
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
You know, you learn from our conversation as well of the
course. So Isabel where can people get
in touch with you. What's coming up?
If you know people want to get more of you like where can they
find you? Do you have any events or
speaking engagements that people can tap into?
Oh great? Yes.
So you can find me on Twitter at Isabelle Miller X.
Same thing for Instagram. Isabelle Miller X on YouTube is
Isabelle Miller on Tick-Tock. It is it's Isabelle Miller
perfect. So Now you can find me on all
the social media platforms and Annie speaking engagements or
anything coming up soon. No speaking engagements.
Perfect. People can still get in touch
with you which is great. See your content.
See your beauty in essence and of course I will drop all those
links in the bio of this episode for you guys to tapping, give
some love to Isabel, trust me. Y'all won't, y'all won't regret
it was a pleasure being here with you guys.
Q, thank you. Remember, you can reach me at
Miz radio Sapphire that's MSR ADI OSAP pH I re at Miz radio
Sapphire.com sapphires your play on Instagram at Miz radio
Sapphire and Instagram. Of course remember the safe sex
is the best. Hot sex till next time.
Good night. That was the show.
All you sexy motherfuckers out there.
Remember to follow, Adam is Radio Sapphire and sapphires are
play on Instagram once. Amir guys into the past and
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