Warning, the following program is not for the weak hearted,
those who are close minded or in general you're scared to learn
what's behind closed doors. Here at Sapphires Airplay.
I want you to pour the wine, grab somebody that you want to
hold on to, or better yet, get the vibration stimulated through
your body. Get ready for one hell of an
orgasm in 54321. What is up on my sexy
motherfuckers out there in Radioland?
It's your girl Sapphire, back at it again just in time for
Valentine's Day. You know it's the annual Fuck
Your Valentine's Day special and I am so excited for this one
because I have the CEO of Desert Harvest, Heather Florio in the
house. For past 30 years, her company
has pioneered research back sexual Wellness products from pH
Balance, aloe lubricants, skin repair creams and pelvic therapy
wands. Y'all, this is, it's the episode
for you, especially if you're wondering why does it hurt so
damn much during sites. If I didn't ask for the pain and
pleasure mix. Well, Heather Florio is here to
help. Let's bring him the Roddy Froude
Boys of Sapphires Airplay to bring you all in.
Thank you so much, Heather, for your time being here.
Thank you for having me. Yes, so I I mean when I saw this
pitch about painful sex and you out of all people, you know,
being a woman who's backed up desert harvest one, I love the
fact that it's a woman LED. It seems like a woman LED brand,
which is great. And I really love the fact that
it seems like you are just the go to woman when to talk about
vaginousness and all the other possible ways why sex can be so,
so painful for women. In fact, when I was doing my own
research, I was like, huh, Come to think of it, I've definitely
had some moments where sex has been painful.
But of course, you know, with a little bit of Lube, a little bit
more relaxation, that has always helped.
But that's not always the case for every woman.
And I know we're going to probably get into it, So what
better wait? What are some of the main causes
of why sex can be so damn painful, especially for us
ladies? Well, there's so many different
reasons why sex can be painful. It can be that you don't fit
together, It can be that there you have pelvic floor
dysfunction. There are so many other
conditions. You mentioned vaginous,
ulvidinia, vestibulidinia. There are veronic in which you
might experience oral sex. You can be due to trauma.
These can be due to your pelvic floor itself.
These can be due to trauma somewhere else in your body.
There are so many different reasons why we can experience
pain with sex, but what we should realize is pain with sex
is not normal. Not need to trudge through it.
You don't need to. We need to use our voice and we
need to communicate and when things are uncomfortable.
Absolutely. I think that's the most, I mean,
that is one of our themes here on Sapphire's earplate is
communication. And I always try to tell people
that, you know, sometimes it's the conversations that hurt the
most that we have to have in relationships in order to go
forward. Especially, like you said, how
do you even tell your partner like, hey, it's not technically
you, It's me. I'm the problem, unfortunately.
And they're probably women right now who are listening, who
probably have gone through this whole thing.
Like, you know, come to think of it, yeah, sex is a little bit
painful. Even just to stick a finger in
or, you know, tampons. It hurts.
But I don't know why. And so I really want women,
especially just all vulva owners to really take this, you know,
episode to heart and know that it's not a you thing.
It is a thing there. I mean, hell, there are like
14-15 different reasons why your vagina could possibly be
hurting. I mean, even from the most
common things, St. DS can make, you know, sex
extremely painful. I just had probably one of the
worst herpes outbreaks since my diagnosis 6 years ago. 2020 was
my first herpes outbreak, genital herpes and I I was I was
good. I mean, not to say that my
stress levels haven't been through the roof, but for six
years I was able to kind of maintain it until recently.
And it was to the point where my left leg just nerve pain
endings, my clitoris, you know, here we go.
This is sapphires your place. So it's going to get graphic,
y'all, but it looked like somebody cut a chunk of my clip
and left the rest on one side and the sores on the left and it
was just, it's it was painful to walk, it was painful to just
cross my legs, sit down and watch a movie.
It was just too painful. And yet.
And that that's doesn't stress response.
Mm hmm. Mm, hmm.
It's crazy. It is crazy how everything can.
Just be connected of the conditions are stress response
when you talk about Volvadenia unspecified, you know, ovular
vaginal pain like you know you're you're dealing with
unspecified pain and a lot of cases can be related to a stress
response in your your exogenousness and put in a
tampon press response when you have a herpes outbreak and
you've already had herpes, you've already been exposed to
the infection. And then down the road you get a
flare up like that press response.
Stress is such a big piece of this and it goes back to the
ideas of Tantra on the Tantra response and and utilizing
mantra related practices to be able to calm both your autatomic
nervous system. It is up regulated because of
the stress. Response.
But then also your pelvic floor that is probably like this, you
know, I'm not in a dish rag. So, you know, turn so tight that
that can be your pelvic floor. And that's called hyperbicity.
And when that happens, you know, everybody thinks, oh, my pelvic
floor is in pain, I need to go start my Kegel.
Don't do that. Really.
Oh yes, so when you are hyper, you have hydroponic pelvic floor
and you start doing Kegel exercises, you are making it
worse. OK, that's the thing they don't
talk about. Let's let's get into that,
please. Yes, because everybody, you
know, you have this idea that I just need to do my kegels and
I'm going to be good. And that's not the case.
You have to learn how to relax your food floor and bring it
down into relaxed state. And then once you've got it in a
relaxed state, you've got to build it back up.
So one of the best ways to do that is you get with a pelvic
floor physical therapist. You don't have to stay with them
long term, but you can learn your own musculature.
You can learn what it feels like and feel yourself and you can
feel when your muscles are tense and then you can feel when
they're relax. When then you know then when not
relax, then you can hit your cheek exercises and start
strengthening your public floor because this is your hammock,
ladies. Like this is this is holding
your bladder, your uterus, all of your organs.
Here it is, your hammock holding everything in and you need to
make sure that hammock is strong, especially before you're
engaging in and, and I mean technically, sex itself is a
problem for exercise when we're orgasming.
Think about it, you're tightening up and then you're
relaxing down. Exactly.
Oh gosh, ladies, are y'all listening?
Fellas, are you listening? I'm so glad because again,
everybody talks about kegels, but we don't talk about the
pelvic floor exercise. Or they try to say, oh, doing
your kegels coincides with pelvic floor exercise.
I'm like, no, that doesn't make sense.
Pelvis, vagina, vagina muscles, the pelvic muscles.
So yeah, I might be having the great.
I, I, I know that my pelvic floor muscles can sometimes be
weakened and that's because I'm a couch potato.
I'm a couch potato and I need to stop doing that.
I need to start getting up more and walk and like getting up and
walking. So for somebody, you know, like
myself, who may have more time on their hands, what are the
best ways, you know, in affordable ways, especially
because everything costs money. Now, how can we, you know, cheat
the system but also take care of our our bodies the cheap way?
Not yet. So one of the best things you
can do is is there are easy things that you can do at home
and then there there's more technical things.
OK, so one of the best things that you could do with yourself
or with a partner, with or without penetrative sex is go
into your your area, whatever that might be, the area that
relaxes you, your bedroom, whatever.
Like that mood experience all the senses, whether it's touch
and you have to spell sheets, you've got put on mute mood
music that makes you feel good. And then maybe also, you know,
initiate and put some candles for said, you know, things that
ignite your senses and then lay down on your bed.
And if you're doing this, partner, you both lay down on
the bed by face, side by side. You do not touch completely
naked. All right.
And then you, you at a timer, look down your cell phone for 20
minutes. And then what you do is you
begin touching yourself. Touch yourself in your breast,
touch your stomach, touch your thighs.
Learn all of the different parts of your body really and gay
which little good to you. close your eyes and and pull that
area. You can literally grab the top
of your mom's pubis, the top part of of that volvular area,
and we can literally grab it, hold it, see it sensations, grab
the sides, your labia, you know, and and your your majora and
your minora. You can grab both Hold on to it,
feel it, touch it. You don't need to go for your
clitoris right now. You don't need to go for your,
your, you know that vagina. You don't need to insert
anything in there. Just feel yourself and then
slowly begin to build up by touching your clitoris either
with your fingers or with something like a bullet and and
create that sensation going to build yourself up and then stop
and go back to feeling your body, feeling other part.
And then so you want to bring yourself up and then you want to
back off and then start feeling your body.
You continually do this back and forth.
Don't get yourself to orgasm level.
You start to feel that. And one of the things that you
can do when you start to get to that level, back off and you do
something called Ocean brief. So this is a a practice in which
you can literally like release your entire body, do that over
and over again. Like that, right?
Yes, that deep diaphragmatic breathing and then release it.
That deep, deep breathing, bring all the air down and then just
release it and that will calm down that that that autotomic
nervous. Just keep doing that.
Hide yourself that build yourself back up ocean, breathe
back down and and keep doing this for 20 minutes.
And then once that timer goes off, then whether it's with
yourself and that bullet, whether you feel that you can
have penetrated sex and feel comfortable at that part, maybe
you and your partner finish each other off, but not with
penetrated sex. You know, there's all different
ways you can do this, but this is an easy way in which one,
you're engaging with your own body 1st and then you can engage
with another body or you can just finish and engage with
yourself. But at the same time, when
you're finishing, you're going up tightening and responding and
calming down. And and so you're, you're
creating a relaxing response for your body that might allow
penetration at that point or might lead to other ways in
which you can you can fish. I like that because you're not
only just giving another way for couples or just, you know,
individuals to enjoy self pleasure.
Something that especially as a black woman, here it is Black
History Month. Let's get into it.
Black women a lot of times feel a lot of shame touching
themselves or you know, having the need to have a partner
finish them off. Nothing irks me more than
talking to my girls and they're like, I don't understand the
point of masturbation if it's just myself.
And I'm like, what do you mean? Like it's the whole get in there
and then it's like what? I'm done.
I'm like, I'm good. Yes.
Don't you feel good? Relaxed, You know, you feel like
you can conquer the world. You don't have to kick somebody
out of your bed. You just got to toss the
batteries that the batteries are dead, you know, clean it up.
I'm like, what do you mean? And you know, there's this whole
taboo of like, in order to have sex, I got to have someone
finish me off. And it's like sometimes the
finishing is not as satisfying as the build up.
Sometimes I like to say even with penetrative sex we
shouldn't. But we focus so much on the
coming and then the actual, like being together, sometimes even
like edging each other off, you know, start it a little playful,
have a nice session, then go finish each other off later on
in the day, building that tension up and keeping that
tension throughout the day until you're ready to release.
I love that. The fact that you even brought
up Tantra. I love Tantra sex.
I want to get back into Tantra sex now that I'm in this new
like newlywed trying to have babies kind of thing.
I'm like, I kind of want to revisit, you know, touching and
the sensation of non penetrative sex and getting to the finish
line. I want that that tension.
So I really love that you brought that up.
Now, do you deal with black clients often who come to you
with any of these problems? And if so, you know, let's talk
about it. Yeah, definitely.
Especially for black women historically and in society, in
in the American Society, they've been hypersexualized from beyond
that, that that we are very sexual beings, that black women
just love to have sex. They're hypersexual.
That's not the case. And and so we have to in in
society, even today and in mass culture, sell shows very
hypersexualized black women. And as a result, it needs
especially, I feel like black women and historically and
research data, it shows that more risky behaviors, less
likely to speak up, less likely to engage with girls bodies
feeling that they're but also at the same time feeling like you
need to meet a need of someone else.
That need is your own and you coming together with a partner,
it's an experience that you can choose to have.
You have no requirements to everybody else, anybody else
when it comes to sex. The only person you have a
requirement to is yourself and that is the most important thing
to remember. Like I will tell you if you can
do this 20 minute thing with a partner and you do choose to
engage and and finish off with penetrative sex, it will be the
most orgasmic experience you've might of your entire life.
I will tell you that right now. But at the same time, an
experience with yourself is called self-care.
And and there's nothing wrong with self-care.
We don't need to think about masturbation in terms of, yeah,
do I love to orgasm with my husband more than anything else?
Yes. That is the experience that you
know, when you talk about your friend being like, I don't need
to masturbate, you know, I get all the sex I need.
Well, that has nothing to do with the sex that we're getting
with a partner. This masturbation is about
self-care and understanding your body, engaging with your body
and then and then coming together with a partner that you
feel a level of the comfort and trust.
We've all though have a one in hand and 1:00, but that doesn't
have anything new with when you choose to engage with a partner
and maybe have a higher level and that is what turbines that
is what even things like there's Ishta yoga.
You've got a thing Tantra, yes. So Tantra is yoga.
And so we're going into breath work, we're going into
exercises, we're going into the one we think of Tantra.
Ishta Yoga incorporates Hoffa and Tantra and it's a very
relaxing, it's not like legs curling.
It's a hot groom and hot yoga and try to be the best and push
ourselves as far as we can. Ishta yoga is about a slow
engagement with your own body and it experiences tantric
practices at the same time. So you can do the things where
you're running the line by chakra through meditation.
And at the same time you're what you're doing is you're engaging
the vagus nerve in your body that runs up and down to your
roots to your vagina. So you're, you're connected,
connecting from here to down. And, and so when you think about
engaging with your chakras, you're engaging with your vagus
nerve, you're engaging with your body, you're calming that that
atomic nervous response system so that when you do get to that
orgasm, it's going to be explosive.
I'm, I'm about to add that to my list, like Tantra Ishta, that's
it. We're going to do it.
Like boom, boom. My husband and I, he's like, we
got to start getting fit. If we're going to have babies,
we got to start getting fit. My thing is I need to get off
the damn couch now. I need to get some Ishta yoga in
my, in my life. Like I'm about to YouTube that
and see who's got who's got the best tutorials on there.
So Alan Finger and Sarah Finger are the founders of Ishta Yoga
versus 50 something years ago. Sarah Finger has videos on
YouTube 30-40 minutes do it at home.
You don't even have to go to a class.
She has online further online content that can be utilized.
So there there are in her base at New York, Florida.
So literally you can, you can, there are ish to classes within
and you're in the New York City area, There's a whole studio
within the city. But if not, you can engage
online and have these experiences where you begin
engaging with your body and slow movements that are, that are
strengthening your body from head to toe and at the same time
learning to calm that vagus nerve and that atomic nervous
response. And the the the calmer you are
here and the more in control you are here, the more in control
you are down there. I am so glad that you brought
that up because again, we talk about orgasms and the achieving,
achieving that orgasm, but also, you know, being attracted to who
the body is and all these things are mental and we never think
about how mental sex can be. I always like to be, I'm a
sapiosexual first and foremost. It's like got to penetrate my
mind first, then penetrate my body.
And it's very true. You got to put yourself in that
mental state sometimes to even just be in the sexual, you know,
aura of yourself. So I'm so glad that you're
saying everything is connected because it is.
You know, earlier I was talking about my herpes.
It's like that stressor. Those things are on my mind.
It's connected to the spine going down towards my genitalia.
There we go. That's where that nerve center
is starting to be broken. Something's broken down there.
We're going to have a triggered response.
You said, you know, with vaginismus, the tightening of
those muscles, you know, the unable, you know, to even put
the smallest thing. That's that mental block right
there. That's that physical block, you
know, even when we talk about ovarian cysts and fibroids, I
didn't realize how much fibroids and the the cysts of the
ovarian, ovarian cysts can be so painful.
I've had ovarian cysts, but fibroids.
I know that something as a black woman, I, I need to be more
intuitive because I know that we are some of the highest
recipients for, you know, these fibroids.
So with those how do we, I mean now we're getting more internal
in. So what are some signs of relief
for like, how do we, how do we deal?
How do we maintain? And that becomes a little bit
more difficult when you get into uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts,
endometriosis, angiomyosis. Majority of the time you can
have enjoyable sex and and even menopausal symptoms, which you
know, black women and women of color are going to it's actually
shown in clinical research they are going to experience more
strength and earlier onset things like that.
And so understand half your body and they might have times,
especially around our menstrual cycle.
We know that this is built around, you know, our hormones
and around our menstrual cycle. There's probably a chance in
hell you're going to want to have sex or even think about sex
or talk about sex. Are you, are you just like were
you in my my diary this week? Because I am having literally
the worst period right now. I am on like day three and I
want to kill myself. It has been so bad and yet I was
like ridiculously horny, you know, the two nights before had
great sex afterwards. Now it's like I can't even I
don't even want to think about penetration because it hurts so
much. And now even that you said that
I'm noticing putting tampons as of lately.
I don't know what it is. Tampons are now hurting me a
little bit more and it's not like as easy to push in.
So I'm wondering do I, I do I have something maybe going on or
is it just because with the period, does that happen like
sometimes with flow, can that also 'cause that that blockage?
Yes. So usually, you know, especially
when you're experiencing A chronic pain state that is
heightened as the result of menstruation, you're, you're,
you know, you think about it when something feel doesn't feel
good and you're just tight and that's happening to your pelvic
floor at the same time. And this is just kind of the
plan. One of those responses.
It's really hard when you're in that moment and you're not being
should do a lot to even feel comfortable, to be able to
meditate, be able to feel comfortable.
We have to do a lot more research, be able to address
these conditions. We don't know crap.
And most of the time they're going to come in there and
they're going to be like, well, we can talk about the birth
control or we can talk about it just directly and, or have an
ablation and then two years later, you know, six months
later, have it all back. And we have very little tools in
the toolbox for these conditions that affect women because we
have not researched for over 100 years behind in women's
healthcare research. We have a lot of work for you.
And unfortunately we've lot, a lot lost a lot of our research
funding in in the past year or so that was working towards
options for these conditions. So we have a lot of work to do
and there there isn't really much when you're in that moment,
you know, there were there were you know, there are people that
will sell you things and do things and there are all these
supplements that say that will do supplement manufacturer
myself. No, I'm glad that you said that
because anytime people are like, well, I got the cure for herpes,
you know, you got to take the what is it, the doctor Umar
pills? I'm like, no, no, no, you start
mumbling. Dr. Umar, I'm going to tell you
to fuck off right now because no, all right.
They're still exactly, exactly there are there are ingredients
that we know can can affect different parts of our body in
different ways. We know that if you take a
lysine, it could potentially calm the stress response that
causes herpes and help lessen the cycle of the herpes
outbreak. But it's not going to have a big
major difference. Maybe taking a long term will
lessen your outbreak, but it's not going to do anything when
you're actively in an outbreak and feeling miserable.
And and it's no longer going to cure your herpes.
And you know, when we talk about menopause symptoms, it's not
maka maka and yams. They lessen some of your your
nights a little bit something like that or hot flashes.
It's it's it's not going to have an overwhelming fun and it's not
going to make some big massive difference.
So just realize that we're just very limited and you're
miserable and you're looking for options.
The armor not a lot sense related to this.
You can definitely when you are feeling good though, you should
be working on relaxing and it's great being out the floor
because when you do get to those, you know, episodes, the
word administration is really heavily affecting a thing.
You know you have made yourself stronger from when you get there
and and know that all the times outside of that are the better
times to engage with sexual intercourse and looking you
don't mean nobody needs no man needs to go earn their Red Wings
and have anything to produce to anybody.
OK, you you too was good for you.
And and in those times, if you have endometriosis, angiomyosis,
uterine fibroids, PCOS, you've got cysts on your ovaries.
Those are not good, good times to have sex and and they're very
limited options and also know that lubrication, let's talk
lubricate. Let's let's talk about Lube.
I I love to talk about Lube this like Lube is literally one of my
favorite topics and I love it and I'm loving that you are
already like, because that was going to be my next question
because again, your products, that's what you got.
So let's let's talk about lubing it out.
Yes, because here's the thing, ladies, if you're having sex
with a partner, penetrative sex and you're not making less
lubrication, there is nothing wrong with you.
That is just the response in your body.
It doesn't mean you're not having good sex with your
partner. You don't love your partner, you
don't want to engage with your partner.
It is just naturally how our bodies work and they and our
bodies are only going to produce so much lubrication and every
woman is different. But you have no to little bad to
say, Hey, I might use glue. This might be coming.
This might be coming too much. Hey, I'm not in it for America.
You know, it's it's not about how long, it's about the quality
not wanting thank. You.
Oh, my gosh, Sometimes some of the best sex is the quick ones.
I mean, I used to say exactly. I used to say like, I couldn't
master the art of quickies, But then when I started to realize I
could put, you know, some art into it.
Yeah, yeah, mastering the art of a quickie can be beautiful.
What's not beautiful is not having Lube on deck and you know
you're spitting in my pussy, which is an absolute no no.
Stop spitting in the vagina, in the butt.
I just. Like your bacteria today?
Yes, like please, we're already swapping so many germs as it is.
I don't want, you know, your leftover burger going into my
vagina or into my booty. I don't want that.
No, and let's let's talk about
the two different locations because they also require
different types of Lube. So very important.
So not all lubes are made the same when it comes to a vaginal
lubricant. I will tell you that there are
only two in the world. Yes, mine is one of them that
are actually meant to go into a vagina and that is because we
focus so much on pH when we talk about pH.
Yes, the vagina is an acidic Biome.
You need acidic products and your tissues are unhealthy.
That acidic product might burn, but because you micro tears
other things like that, it doesn't matter if your tissues
are unhealthy, it's going to be uncomfortable no matter what you
put down. But understand that you need an
igloo, but then second to that you need an ISO osmolar, so and.
I was going to say ISO, ISO molar, you said.
ISO Osmolar. ISO osmolar, now this.
Now this is not the same as water based I'm assuming.
So water based just talks about the different types of lubes
that are out there. So we have like a silicone based
which is pH neutral. It has no water, it has no
osmolality. It is it is very inert.
The only problem with it for the vaginal bio is, is that it's
chemicals and we're putting chemicals in our body and we
don't know the long term extent of that.
But on that, when we talk about water based lubes, which are a
majority of the lubes that we have out there and that we
really, you know, should be utilizing, But our vaginal wall
epithelial cell layer Varvagina. When you use a Lube that is
hyper or high O osmolar, too high or too low on the
osmolality scale, your cells begin to dry out your vaginal
wall, your epithelial cells, and they literally fall out.
What? Yes.
So you've just lost your barrier protection.
Get STI's bacteria, fungus, take your pick.
And and the only study that has been done in regards to
osmolality was by the World Health Organization in 2016 for
third country, third world country sex workers.
They wanted to figure out how to reach the instance of the best
guys and how they could make them in safer because and they
found that in they tested. I will name names, but let's
just say they're the majority of the ones you get in the stores,
especially the big box stores. Oh.
And it's probably one of the brands that I absolutely tell
people, don't ever bring it to the bedroom.
Don't bring it to my bedroom. Get rid of them now.
Yes, and because every lubricant
in the United States is required to be a medical device, and so
as part of being a medical device, they have to learn their
osmolality. So just tell you 290 is the
ideal vaginal osmolality for being the World Health
Organization. You only want to be ±80 point on
that scale away from that. So how do you, how can you
measure that? Like if someone were to say
like, I want to check that out on myself, how can we?
How can we know? We have no test the test.
So what we need is, is we need transparency from the lubricant
company. You should be able to go up on
there and look up their osmolality number back to that
conversation about those ones that are in the big box scores
when the World Health Organization did their study on
lubricants 2010 thousand 9000. I mean, and then we've got ones
way low at like 80 things like that that are hypolossible.
So we're we're completely destroying our vaginal lion a
lot of the times. So Libra Kent.
So just to give you an idea, Desert harvest aloe glide with
regard Libra Kent is three O 8. So that is that a deal Range is
OK. There we go.
And is it like, you know, some people like to say, well, aloe
is a little bit too sticky for me.
Is it a sticky base or is it, you know, relatively fair?
It's relatively anything becomes sticky at a point you can feel
kind of that tackiness. But what it should do is like
for instance, with the desert harvest aloe blight, it's going
to go down through the layers of tissue and help you make your
own richer. It's going to soothe those
tissues. Think about when you put aloe
Vera on a sunburn. It's going to be
anti-inflammatory analgesics. It's going to help moisturize
those tissue foods. You have micro tears, you know
help with, you know, skin regeneration and things micro
tears and it is uncomfortable. You can get past that point by
making your tissues healthy, but understand that if your dryness
and your unhealthy tissues are related to menopause, you can
keep adding moisture. That's going to make a
difference in the shorter term, but in the long term, the only
thing that's going to make a difference is hormone
replacement therapy. Interesting.
Now if we're going into play, because with we, if we're going
to talk about lubes, we got to talk about condoms and and
mixing in the both of those. I've noticed over the years
there's only one particular brand of condoms that I do not
break out on and it doesn't cause a lot of friction and
that's the skin condoms. I can't use the big branded
condoms like Trojan Trojan, I break out on Durex, can't use
those. Also doesn't match well with my
pH but also causes breakouts believe it or not.
And those are supposed to be the non latex ones even.
But you know, when we talk about condoms and Lube, those are also
2 dangerous combinations that could be for our vagina.
Do you agree on that? Because like you said, the
friction of the burning and I've noticed if you don't have the
right Lube, you're going to break down that condom and the
the concentrates on the condom itself.
So then the condoms ineffective. So have that at Miss Florio.
And so that's where realistically, yes, there are a
lot of materials, the substrates that we're using, we're using
petroleum based, you know, condoms and things like that.
I'll tell you right now, no, no research has been done on that
and then on the toxicology or the effects that that has on a
woman's microbiome, vaginal microbiome.
But The thing is, is that there are products unique that give us
a different sense of empowerment.
Whether you know, we're we're good to look at Eva would have
we're going to look at there are actually female condoms.
Yes. That that you can utilize.
You can put in before you even get to that and and find out
what works for you. Personally for me with the
female condoms, I always say I feel like I'm fucking a trash
bag just because just the way that they sound like, if any,
like, I don't know, somebody's got to agree with me because I'm
like, I, I'm. So I remember the first few
times I tried it and then I tried it with a female, I was
like, OK, now I'm curious. Let me see how lesbian sex with
a female condom will work. And I just kept hearing this
noise. I'm like, is there a trash bag
or is there is there some plastic around?
She's like, no, it's me. I said oh God, like never again.
Never to be put out of a scene again.
No more female condoms for Sapphire?
Like no. And it's it's, it's really hard
because we haven't found a substrate yet that can act as a
barrier of protection and still be made of natural material.
Maybe that's something I'll and got.
Fingers crossed. I'm going to keep you.
I'm going to keep tabs on you for that.
Perfect, perfect. But there are there are options
but then when we get to let's say the anal microbiome, yes,
you should never use anesthetic, vaginal lubricant in your anal
Biome. So when I talk about osmolality,
it's a part of the issue, but actually.
The anal Biome is more sensitive to TH if you put an acidic
lubricant in your alkaline in your epithelial cell layer,
tedious falls out. It does seem like to dry out.
It's just right out. And so if you're having anal sex
again, you could have instantaneously.
I know it's it's kind of it's being like, oh, don't we're
going to anal sex, but that is weird.
It's like silicone. Will you make sense because
those are going to be your alkaline glutes.
That's the only Lube that can meet the outline of the need of
the you know, my bio. There you go guys.
So now you know, and I'm glad that you that we talked about
both because again, some people think that the same Lube for the
vagina is the same Lube for the buttocks.
And it's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And especially for all my gay boys out there, it's like, you
know, there is the anal Lube and you got to get the good anal
Lube. I I like to What is it?
I think it's called analyze. I think the Lube is called anal.
There's that one and gun oil. There's so many.
I use fuck water As for vaginal, which is great.
But yeah, yeah, it's like the everything is a science, you
guys. And I love that we have Heather
on here because again, it's all to a science, sex, mental.
You got the sex on the scientific side of sex, the
acidity of our our vaginas, of our anuses.
I never even thought about that. You know, I always thought
about, you know, the protective Jelly that we already have, you
know, already that we produce. But then when you think about
it, yeah, you got to have more lubrication.
Have to be careful with that lubrication too.
So I'm so glad. Yeah, the yeah, the even natural
isn't necessarily, but your olive oils, your coconut oils.
Get them out. Get rid of them.
Destroy your vaginal microbiome. We think they're safe, but
they're going to have pH issues. They're going to affect the
vaginal microbiome. We can.
Natural isn't necessarily the best thing.
It is very important for you to think about what goes into your
vagina and nothing should that is not acidic and ISO or
smaller, no matter what it is. Now I got to ask you about this
latest fad and I I feel like it's not a latest fad, but I
feel like it's just becoming up and more people keep asking me
the vaginal dabbing, vaginal dabbing.
What are our thoughts on that? So I think that yeah, I'm like.
Yeah, I because it's like, Oh yeah, no, please.
There is nothing wrong with it. It's it's going into the ideas
of pheromones and in attracting pheromones and, and putting that
on. I mean, it doesn't hurt
anything. It's just, yeah, it's not my
thing and it might be somewhat on the thing, but I mean, are
are we like going so like animal mating and the right season of
and also right? I'm I'm just over here and like
more, more and more even just like the sex positive folks that
I am in community with and online.
It's just like everybody's now talking about vabbing, vaginal
dabbing. And I'm like, I don't know,
there's something about sticking my fingers up in my Hua and
either licking it for myself for my own pleasure.
But then if you're telling me to walk around with the whiff of my
pussy on my neck to see if somebody is going to come closer
to be like that smells good. I think anybody else besides my
husband and maybe my girlfriend, they'll be fine with it.
Everybody else is probably going to be like, girl, what is that
smell? Well, and he already secrete the
hormones, the pheromones naturally.
So you, you, you know, when it, when, when man seems so
animalistic and we're like, girl, you know, you're already
putting off those hormones. You're already saying, I'm open
for business. And when you know your hormones
are activated and you're, you know, you talked about I'm so
horny and, and, and engaging, that's you, your hormones are
secreting at that point naturally.
Why do? Why do you need to dab it on so?
I'm like unless if it's going to just like bring out even the the
Chanel #5 I have on. I just, I don't know if that's
for me. I just don't know.
Like. I just there.
Are plenty. There are plenty of you know
this. This is in research for for
eons. You know, we can go back to
Egyptian times and utilizing different scents as pheromone
attractors. We don't necessarily have to do
it with our own vaginal fluids. There are better, you know,
filling options out there that can naturally act as as
pheromone attractors that are naturally in both perfumes,
colognes, things like that. Exactly.
Without having to dab your own vaginal fluids under bowel.
I have to mention I'm like, unless you're going to try to,
you know, bottle it in a perfume or you know, like Erykah Badu
did it with her own. She had a Badu pussy, which was
the incense. And then when a Paltrow followed
off with her own goop, you know, candle.
And I'm like, listen to each their own.
I just know my pussy is my pussy smell is for me and my partners.
It is not for everybody. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And, and sometimes those scents can be aggravated by other
conditions and they may not need necessarily the bad scents.
If a woman has a, you know, bacterial infection, that's not
going to be a tractor. It's going to be a detract.
Exactly. So yeah, let you know what?
There we go, people. The verdict is vabbing is not
for us, just just. There are other ways.
And we'll go on that same front steaming when we talk about
vaginal steam. Thank.
You. Thank you, I will never forget I
did it for radio. Eggs stay away.
Stay, Oh my gosh. Stay away from the eggs.
Stay away from what is it? Yeah, the Yoni steamer.
I I did it and I just said my vagina smells like ramen.
I said it just smells like ramen.
Coochie in the room. I did it as a radio bit for like
2 hours with three of my two other hosts and we're just
sitting here Like I don't feel a difference other than it's very
hot, I'm very sweaty, and I want ramen because it smells like
vagina ramen in here. Ramen.
Out of all things. Some and and you know they it
kills. They talk about it killing bad
bacteria, but it's also killing your good bacteria vagina self
cleaning. It doesn't need anything to
clean it. It doesn't need steaming.
It doesn't need douching, it doesn't need washes.
It's naturally self clean. OK, now that you said about the
not needing the washing, I sometimes and I had to stop
because I feel like it was maybe causing a possible outbreak.
But using like the vaginal washes in particular honeypot,
they have like a, a vulva wash, if you will.
What are you? What are your takes on the vulva
washes now? So I, we have one too.
It's called aloe rebalance and it's not necessarily anything.
It's only for the vulva. So it's almost like washing your
hair, except for washing your hair down there.
And, and as long as, again, it's acidic because it is going near
your pragmal opening, it is going to be near your, you know,
you're, you're using Dove. There are some other products
that off the shelves. Those are all awkward.
And so those are all going to slowly help degrade your vaginal
microbiome just because it's an open hole, ladies.
And, and even if you just, since you're washing your vulva,
you're washing a little bit more.
So where is no reason, you know, it's, it's almost more about
cleaning the hair and having that fence.
We've been programmed as a society, You know, when we, when
we wash our hair, we think that it needs to suds and it needs to
do all this stuff. This is all a chemical reaction
and then it's been created. So in the same sense, we feel
like we need to wash with something down there besides
toothwater. But and, and like honey pot,
like our aloe rebalance, those kind of things.
Those are acidic and and so they There's nothing wrong with
washing off your vulva, you just don't need to go inside.
I'm glad that she's thank you for noting that because I feel
like sometimes a lot of ice as women, we get embarrassed.
Like, how do we wash down there? You know, it's the Siri
question. There's so many products out
there. You know, people are suggesting
vaginal washes and suppositories and creams, and there's just so
much out there. And yet, like you said earlier,
there's not enough research. And I wonder why a certain
administration wanted to get rid of all this funding.
If we only just learned. If we only were.
Just able. To learn.
So I'm so glad that you and your products are definitely changing
the game out there. And Speaking of, where can
people find your products? So on our website,
isdesertharvest.com, they're always welcome to even call us
to 800-322-3901. We are happy to talk about our
products, explain that they do what they don't do.
We're not going to. We're just not going to feed you
something to sell you something. We're going to tell you what
works, what doesn't work, why you need this, why we don't.
I can't wait to check out myself.
I'm going to definitely drop the phone number and the link for
this episode so you guys can all get a taste of that desert, that
desert. I don't want to say that desert
dryness, but you know, I want to, I want people to taste that
desert harvest. And so, Heather, where can
people get in touch with you as well?
So they can definitely check me out on Instagram.
HM Florio. I'm always happy to answer
questions as well. I actually teach women all over
the world. So I've I've taught the first
public and sexual health course for women in Turkey.
I've done Peru, although I got arrested now like so I.
Hope for good things. I hope for the goodness of good
things. Yeah, it was because I was
teaching women. I'm sure we'll be here in the US
that way soon. I don't know, let's hope not
because listen, we need some pioneers like yourself out
there. And really, I am just so honored
to have you. And I definitely want to bring
you back in the future because I feel like there's so much that
we could talk about with our women's bodies and our health.
And just to even just talk about just on the surface, the
painfulness of sex and that it doesn't have to be painful.
I'm so glad that you took time and to educate us a little bit
more about our bodies. Aw, thank you for having me.
This is this is what I love to do.
And of course, yeah, like you said, I have so much more I'd
love to download, so maybe in the future.
Absolutely. You're already a certified
earbuds. So that's it.
We're we're going to keep in touch.
I definitely want to bring you in for more future episodes.
With that said, everybody remember that safe sex is the
best hot sex. You can reach me at Miss Radio
Sapphire, that's MSRADIOSAPPHIRE on Instagram and of course Miss
Radio sapphire.com. Until the next time, good.
Night. That was the show all you sexy
motherfuckers out there, remember to follow at Miss Radio
Sapphire and Sapphires Ear Play on Instagram.
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