Warning the following program is not for the weak hearted.
Those who are close minded in general, you're scared to learn
what's behind closed doors. Here at Sapphire's Earplay, I
want you to pour the wine, grab somebody that you want to hold
on to, or better yet, get the vibration stimulated through
your body. Get ready for one hell of an
orgasm in 54321. What is up all you sexy
motherfuckers out there in Radioland?
It's your girl sapphire. Back at it.
And let me just tell you before I introduce this guest again,
Y'all really. Just I'm glad that I'm getting
in all my gay shit now in July, because as I said in the episode
with Boom Shanary, I didn't need Pride month to just solidify
that this is a queer black podcast.
Y'all get that 24/7 365. But the fact that I just
ironically booked 2 queer people back-to-back for y'all, it's
just you got to love the the month of July.
July could be the next Pride month.
I'm just saying, I feel like there is so much more events
going on this month than last month.
Hopefully there's no more fuckery with that.
With that said, I am excited to bring my guests on.
First of all, I've made an appearance on their show
Alphabet Radio. Go check it out.
And you can find them on TikTok at Cafe 3G or Cafe under score
3G on Instagram. I'm talking about the one and
only Greg Oronica. Beautiful intro.
Thank you so much. Oh, I feel so welcome.
Oh, but it doesn't just stop there.
You're welcome, babe. But seriously, Greg, you've been
in the radio scene in the Bay Area since 2005, and you've
worked as an educator on air personality, voice actor,
production director for broadcasting, advertising
country. You've just done it all, which
is great. But more importantly, you just
recently came out as bisexual during, I guess, you know,
during the the Time of Chaos. 2020.
During the Global Pepperoni, while we were going through all
of that, I did some soul searching and I realized that
was bisexual. It was.
It was a long time coming, honestly.
So I have had crushes on men, I've had crushes on women, I've
had crushes on people that I now know are non binary, pretty much
my entire life and when. I was a little kid.
I was just like, Oh well, you know, I had so much internalized
homophobia as we all do. And I didn't recognize that side
of me, and I didn't want to recognize that side of me.
And even when I was crushing on some of the boys that were
picking on me through school, calling me the F slur and all of
that lovely stuff, I internalized a lot of that pain
and I internalized a lot of that ingrained homophobia and.
It took me a long time to unpack it.
It took me actually, like not only having a boyfriend, OK, it
was like 3 weeks, but I had a boyfriend after my marriage fell
apart. And then yeah, and then I you
know, I moved back to California after a couple of years in
Michigan, and for terrible reasons.
And then I I met someone who. Has been so supportive of me in
so, so many ways, and she's my current partner and I remember
that I was this is going to be the most nerdy thing you're
going to hear. So I was playing a video game.
And I was playing the game Dragon Age Inquisition.
And I realized while I was playing it that the character
that I was really crushing on and the character that I really
wanted to romance. And if you don't know anything
about Dragon Age, they are fantasy games.
Romance is an integral part of the plots and like an integral
part of the player experience is you get to meet a bunch of
different types of characters, you can romance a bunch of
different types of characters. And what's great about Dragon
Age is they were some of the most pivotal games in the
triple-A gaming space. With queer representation.
And I've been fans of this series for a long time without
without interrogating this within me.
And it wasn't until I met the character Dorian Pavas in Dragon
Age Inquisition that I was like, I legitimately am feeling
feelings for this character. I think I'm.
I'm almost positive I'm not. And then I was like, no, I'm
definitely not straight. What am I?
And so I started doing the Google searching because you
know, this is what you do when you when you when you're not
sure. And in the the the new, the the,
the modern age that we live in, the first thing that you do is
you go online and you're like, OK, what?
What if I like boys? What if I like girls?
To the Googles. To the Googles, What if I like
people who are? Neither.
And then you're like, oh, look at this, this definition Here it
says. Attraction to one's gender and
attraction to other genders, hey, that kind of fits me to a
tee. And so I I went to my partner
and I said, I think, I think I'm bisexual and she was like, hell
yeah, you are. It's funny how that works,
right? It's funny how that works in the
relationships because I feel like one personally, thank you
for some foremost for being my guest this week.
On such a hard hitting topic, because I have talked about this
before, I did do an episode a couple years ago that I called
This Guy is Gay. Or He This guy likes nipple
play. So we must be gay.
And I was so, so convinced. I was like, there's no way that
this man who claims to be bisexual is bisexual.
This man is gay and just in the closet and.
You know, so my ignorance, he was really, you know, bisexual,
but he was definitely more on the leaning spectrum of being
gay. And I feel like you know with
the right partner, with the right understanding, with proper
patience and understanding and not just making it a fuck buddy
situation. Yeah, I would have understood
that I had an ally in a in a fuck buddy, you know.
But we all have gone through our our own self discovery with
bisexuality. We've gone through our own
biasness of. What does bisexuality umbrella,
you know, what is under that whole spectrum?
So I'm glad that you are able to live in your own truth now and
we're able to kind of connect the dots through ironically
video games because it is crazy how that works.
It's it's like once you see yourself represented.
And to be clear, Dorian Pavis in the game is a gay man and was
written by a gay man, and his entire story is about coming to
terms with his own sexuality in the face of friction from his
family. I'm extremely privileged in that
my family accepted me. Like immediately they were like,
Oh yeah, yeah, that's yeah, that's cool.
My mom was like, I think the one thing that she told me was I I
really wish you would have told me before you posted online.
But aside from that, like, yeah, you're my son.
I love you, you know, And it was, it was great.
I love that it was, it was bisexual awareness today.
And I posted about it and I remember thinking at the time
like, I just want to get this out there.
I just want to get it done. I want to get it done.
And at the time I was thinking coming out as a one time thing.
So I got, I posted about it and that was it.
And I said that's it. Wiping my hands of it and
stepping away. And then people started reaching
out to me, people that I've known for many, many years
saying hey, thank you, thank you for this, you're coming out is
helping me understand my own self and my own sexuality and my
own identity. People that are still in the
closet. And I remember thinking at the
time like. Holy shit, this is what
representation does. Absolutely.
And yet there's still a Biracer, if you will, in this community.
It's like Pride Month has already came and gone, and
already I'm already seeing the wiping away of gay social media
content, you know, from certain people.
And it's like, thanks for showing your ally ship for one
month, but there's still six, you know, there's still five
months left of the year. Magically, rainbows just start.
Right. I'm still right.
It's like, OK, I shout out all the rainbows in June.
Boom. We're back to straightness.
We're back to our regular programming of not celebrating,
you know, history. And yet, like I said, there are
Pride events that are still going on.
Right now. I'm missing, sadly, Black Pride.
This weekend in Los Angeles, it's the second annual Black
Pride and you know. The reasons of the grind, But
again, as I've said, I believe I said it on your platform.
You know, we don't have to have Pride month as an excuse to
celebrate being part of the LGBQ.
You know, I a community forgot my teas, but y'all know what I
mean. Like we don't have to celebrate
being a part of the Alphabet community for one month.
Exactly. It's it's like our identities
don't disappear magically on that.
You know, we're not, we're not dormant.
We we're not like you know, we're not bears.
Well, some of us are bears, but but like we're not, we don't go
into hibernation, you know, for 11 months out of the year and
then magically blossom in July or in June.
I mean you know some of us are, are a lot more open in June
obviously as you know that's that's fine, but a lot of.
Our queerness or all of our queerness doesn't go away
magically. We're still here.
We're still queer. Get fucking used to it.
That we're like, I don't know how to make that anymore clear.
And companies I don't. Maybe I'm alone.
I don't think I'm alone in this that I think.
Seeing rainbows in rainbow capitalism, it doesn't bother me
too much because the way I see it is the more representation
and the more public acceptance we see, the more likely it is
that other people are going to feel comfortable coming out and
comfortable being their true authentic selves.
It sucks ass when you see all of a sudden July 1st, you know they
they wipe away all the rainbows and that all goes away.
But it's a common thing and I get it.
What I don't like is companies that will support us and then
magically the second they get any kind of push back target,
they just wipe away all of the the queerness and say look we
don't want to offend any bigots so we we we just gonna to put it
away but like like it's. It's frustrating to see that,
and I know that our relationship with corporations is extremely
tenuous as it is so, but the representation is the most
important part of that. Seeing, you know, walking into a
store, a big box store, Target, Walmart, whatever, and seeing a
shirt that has a bisexual flag on it is a powerful fucking
thing. It's a powerful thing and it's a
powerful message to the L, GB, TQ Plus community that like,
hey. Yeah, we're a big company that
screws our employees on a daily basis.
Yeah, we're it's capitalism. Deal with it.
But you're at least represented here and you can get what you
need here, and our employees aren't going to look down at you
for that when. Years ago, that wasn't the.
Case exactly. And and and buy your things in a
in secret because you weren't allowed to.
I think my biggest pet peeve though, you know when you think
about it, is that a lot of the times and still to this day,
bisexuality is not 100% accepted even in the community.
Exactly that too, yes. I was literally, we were
literally talking about this in the previous episode with my
girl Jay Marie, part of Bubshenary.
And you know, we were talking about lesbianism and and Suffolk
love and talking about how, you know, just because you see a
self procuring lesbian out on the street with the man you
know, in a monogamous or polyamorous or whatever you kind
of relationship doesn't mean you disregard her lesbianism, you
know? People do this all the time to
me because they're like, for someone who claims to be
bisexual, why is it always you and the Sir and once in a while,
you and your girlfriend? First of all, as I said in the
last one, I'm not embarrassed by my girlfriend.
My girlfriend is a boss bitch. She's working OK and she's
listening to this episode right now.
I guarantee you she is snapping her fingers.
My girl works in pharma. She is a fucking scientist.
She is doing boss lady things. So when I get to see her honey,
I'm not going to post it all on the gram.
I'm going to take the time that I have with my lady and I don't
have to share her with the world.
I don't need to open up the floodgates to your fuck boy or
fuck antic behaviors because you want to get in with us.
It don't work that way. So maybe I'm protecting my
partners and knowing that yes, they can hold their own, but
also, it's just not. I don't need to explain my
sexuality. I don't need to explain who's in
my bed. And because I do flip flop and
say I'm queer one day, I'm bisexual, I'm One thing I will
not say is that I'm straight, because I'm certainly not.
I barely walk straight in life, OK?
Look, we don't even sit straight.
No, I'm not even sitting straight right now.
Listen, I got legs hanging over thighs for days, booties for
days. Like, listen, I'm not even
sitting up tall and straight. So I just, I need people to
understand, like, bisexuality comes in all forms, OK?
One of the studies that I found in 2014, it said that people
consider by men to be more confused, more untrustworthy,
less inclined towards monogamy, not able to be able to maintain
a longterm relationship. And the list goes on and on.
Greg, what's the longest relationship you have had as a
by man? Going on the one that I'm
currently in, which is going on 6 1/2 years so.
I love that. Now, are you monogamous?
Open. Very much so.
Okay. And I think that a lot of
people, when they think of bisexuality as kind of like.
As like a concept they see, Oh well, you know, you're you're
attracted to everyone, you're attracted to men, you're
attracted to women, you're attracted to non binary people.
Great. Well you must be a non
practicing bisexual because you're in a relationship with a
woman. And I just got to scream about
that because I'm attracted to women, like that's that's part
of my attractions. Yeah, I'm still I I don't have
to be in a relationship with both a man and a woman and a
nonbinary person just to be fulfilled as a sexual being and
as as a human bisexual, you know?
And it's a common misconception that we need to be also
polyamorous. There's nothing wrong with being
fucking polyamorous. There's nothing wrong with with
having multiple partners. You just like but.
But there are those of us who are bisexual who are also
monogamous. Yeah, we exist.
We're around. This is the the joke I like to
that I see all the time about this is like bisexual women are
always lusted after by straight men.
Always. And bisexual men are only seen
as gay. Or are only seen as or are just
not seen whatsoever. So you have invisibility on one
side and fetishization on the other, without taking into
account that, like, our identities exist outside of
other people's perception of it. I'm attracted to men, I'm
attracted to women, I'm attracted to nonbinary people.
So fucking get used to it. I'm in a monogamous
relationship. I don't need everyone else.
I'm glad you said, yeah, I'm glad you said that.
Because again, like as I said, I own up to my mistakes that I've
ever said about by men and continuously have, you know
apologized for it. I'm glad that I've never been
like cancelled or you know, people are like fuck safaris
your place. She doesn't accept by men.
No, I accept buy anything. I accept all different people.
I've just feel that at an age that I was at believe I was like
2627. Young dumb.
And I was only thinking about the next motherfucker who was
coming over to fuck the pussy. Like I don't give a fuck.
Like I'm sorry, but like, we can all know you are ignorant.
We evolve as individuals. Exactly.
You know, coming out isn't a one time thing I thought it was.
But the more I interrogate my own identity and the more I
interrogate my own sense of self, the more I start realizing
just how much coming out is a constant process.
You are constantly interrogating yourself.
You should be constantly interrogating your identity and
constantly thinking about how you.
Interpret your identity and how you want to present to the
world. Because gender is a performance
and sexuality is what you feel. So those are two separate
concepts. I can't that we need to divorce
and that we need to to break apart.
And once you realize that sexuality exists outside of sis
men, that most. People like to focus on because
everything centers on six on six men.
So for bisexual women it's oh, well, they're attracted to men
and they're attracted to women too.
Guys, for bisexual and for bisexual men, it's well, they're
basically gay and it's like, no, we have we contain multitudes
within us and. It's all about like and and
seeing that representation on the screen is very difficult to
see. Oh, I was just because.
Like, we don't get that. Yeah, we don't get the, the,
the, the representation on screen.
We don't really get the representation in video games
or, you know, TV shows, movies on the radio, we don't get that.
You know, I'm glad that you mentioned that, because I've
definitely noticed that every time that there is a bisexual
man. Like male character or even
just, you know, androgynous, bisexual character.
It's always feminine, making them more gay than they already
are. Then they just happen to be in a
relationship with a woman, but they're still going to go and
revert back to the man. And I'm like, well, that's doing
a disservice if you're making the bisexual woman.
Mean you know films, television what have you as the promiscuous
vixen and you're having the by man or the you know, male.
Presenting bisexual as confused. The what does that say about the
representation there. Furthermore, a new study in at
the Williams Institute here in UCLA.
In Los Angeles, they show that it's cisgender bisexual
employees are less likely to be open about their sexual
orientation at work than a cisgender gay and lesbian
employee. They said only about 1/3.
So that's 36% from the study of cisgender bisexual employees
were out to their supervisors, compared to their three
quarters, 75%. That's a very big jump. 75% of
cisgender gay men and lesbians. Where's the disconnect of that?
Now you spilt some tea to me, and this is at your full
discretion. If you want to share this,
because I definitely had made a point of it, shout out to All
Access. I did do a recent interview
about being queer and you know the representation that we lack
in the radio industry. And you and I, Greg, we come
from radio, we're queer voices in radio.
But you had told me. That an employer didn't like so
much the fact that you were openly bisexual.
Yeah, I've been told that well. So a little backing up a little
bit. I was if they they did say that
it was OK at 1st and I was, I was allowed to and I talked
about my experience on the air and at the time my manager told
me. This is how my manager at the
time was a gay man. And so he understood that the
importance of representation, the importance of, you know,
presenting yourself in a certain way.
And so I, when I came out, IRLI also came out on the air and I
talked about my experiences. I talked about how I felt about
it, how it did and didn't change who I was as a person and.
I just kind of kept that as a part of my show where I would
talk, Not necessarily, you know, I wouldn't always come out and,
you know, and say, hey, I'm bisexual, let's have a, let's
have a conversation. But like, you know, when we're
having conversations about like queer performers, like, you
know, you think about Halsey Demi Lovato, I worked at a pop
station. So we played these artists
constantly. And these two artists are very
openly bisexual now. They're also non binary and I am
a CIS man. But at the same time I could
say. Like, I see representation here
with these two bisexual people and they're amazing and I love
their music. And I would come out of, you
know, Halsey and I'd say my bicon Halsey, you know, on on
such and such radio stations. But you know, and and that was
like little things. And I had gone to events where I
would meet some listeners who would come up to me and say,
hey, I'm so glad you talked about being queer on the air.
I discovered that I am queer too in the last couple of months.
And I got to tell you, it's like the greatest goddamn thing in
the world when you realize that you have connected with somebody
on such a deep, emotional and fundamental level with their
identity. When my boss was let go, I was,
you know, they brought somebody else in who didn't really know
the market. And he told me, you know, you
got to tone this down. And I was so frustrated with
that because, like. Seeing the impact that you have
on people and then having that ripped away is so heartbreaking,
you know and. That, you know, And then I was
let go like a year later and it was like OK, you know, reduction
in force, whatever, you know, radio, radio going to do, what
radio going to do. But at the same time, like now
I'm, I'm what I've been doing on the side is I, well, I haven't
been able to find a fulltime job in radio.
But what I've been doing on the side is I've been teaching a
radio course at a local college here and I have queer students
and I have gone up in front of my classroom wearing a bisexual
pen. And I've had students come up to
me and say, hey, I'm glad I'm represented here.
And it takes a lot for me to be like, look, the radio industries
fucking sucks. It's terrible for
representation. You're probably going to find
managers that don't believe that you are who you are, that aren't
going to believe in you. But the most important thing is
that you've got to own your identity and you've got to wear
it. Either you don't even have to
wear it on your sleeve, but own your identity and don't let
yourself be compromised. For your career.
And it's a hard thing to tell people to jump into the wolves.
Then dressed in a meat dress, you know, oh.
My God. No, seriously.
That. First of all, I'm glad that you
were able to Share your story on that because I feel like there
are a lot of people out there, even though that they are laws
changing about, you know, what people do outside of their work
force shouldn't necessarily reflect why they're being fired.
But you and I both know. The discrimination, especially
being a radio figure, is worse. Radio is so bad with
discrimination. Holy shit.
Like, I mean, just thinking about just thinking about your
story, you know, you, you as a queer black woman and all of the
shit that you've had to go through.
It's so infuriating to me. But it pisses me off the most
because again, it's like you have your gay representation in
radio always played up. The more flamboyant, the better.
I don't find you flamboyant at all.
It just so happens that you're bisexual and you may talk about
a man one day and you may talk about a female the another, you
know, the next day, and a transgender and a nonbinary, Who
the fuck cares? But you're you're connecting to
a whole different audience. And I feel even in outside the
radio realm, the dating pool should suggest that too.
When I see on like, Tinder and you know.
Field and Bumble and all that. And literally there are women
just riding in the caption down for bisexuality.
As long as you're not a man, what the fuck does that say?
Like that's I see this all the time.
OK? I only see this online.
I've never experienced that level of biphobia in person.
Thank God. Saying, you know.
I got to tell you the the queer community in San Jose is fucking
incredible. All of the people that I have
met, I've met amazing human beings that are gay, that are
non binary, that are bisexual, that are lesbian, they're all
and trans like they're all amazing.
So I've never experienced this in real life.
But man, online the shit that you can't just for.
Having a bisexual flag in the video that you post, I don't
leave so many comments on TikTok.
It just doesn't make any sense to me.
It's like, yeah, it makes no sense to me because I'm just
like you would never, you would never walk up to Greg if he's
wearing his beautiful bisexuality hat that he's worn
in pictures on Instagram or if he's wearing his gay, you know,
watch band. You wouldn't go up to him and be
like, Nah, brah, Nah, he can't do that here.
You would. You just wouldn't.
But you feel comfortable behind the screen to dictate who
somebody should have in bed. What does that say about the the
society that we live in, where it's cool to be by As long as
you're a chick. It's cool to be trans as long as
you're a chick. Heaven forbid we got trans men
and trans women just walking around freely.
We're still calling them and misgendering them the wrong way.
Now, you mentioned Demi Lovato. I got a bone to pick with with
her because. So I there's there's a lot about
Demi that is frustrating, but I feel that a lot of that comes
and we should totally have this conversation because I I
personally really, really love them.
And I realize that a lot of what they've gone through is
extremely traumatic and they've never, they've never been one of
those people that says the right thing.
They always say the wrong shit, always.
And it's like, I get it. I love their music.
But let's let's talk about this because there was a big news
article that came out in June. I think it was like early June
where they said, look, I'm okay with people using she, her
pronouns for me because I'm tired of correcting people.
And what that told me as I read like all of the headlines said
Demi Lovato prefers, you know, is done with they them once she
her right. Which isn't the point of the
article. The point of the article is that
they are tired of correcting people with their correct
pronouns, so they still go by date them.
But if people refer to Demi as she her, they're not going to be
upset. Which I, which I just did, but
also at the same time, it's OK. Yeah, no, what I was going to
say is just also I I have seen now a trend with Demi because
again I think their story is powerful.
I think Demi in their own right is someone you know who the
media can be a little bit too harsh to.
But also at the same time I'm like we need to stop banking on
the fact that Demi Lovato is this all around queer icon.
Because personally for me the thing in the pattern I've been
seeing is that six light density has only been a thing to them
during Pride month. I have only seen the major
announcements with them literally during.
June, it is not any other day. It is not every other, you know,
month of the year. It is always been around June
and that's where I have my little kind of off putting to
celebrities when I see them feeling the need to come out in
the month of June. Because what is that set as an
example for folks like you and I who came out, Yeah, sure.
National by Visibility Day, that's acceptable.
That's November. You know despite what claims
say, people like to say that it's in in June as well.
No, that is in November. With that also said is what does
it say for the people who are just living normal lives and
they feel like they have to come out during Pride.
You should be able to come out anytime you want.
But also if you're supposed to be this leader as celebrities as
we like to uphold them as I don't think they are doing a
genuine service. For the non binary folks out
there when they want to flip the script because they're tied to
correcting people, if I had a dollar for every time I had to
correct somebody, but I'm going to tell them it's acceptable for
them to call me the N word honey, I'd have no fucking job.
Oh my God. That too.
Holy shit. So then, bringing it back to
bisexuality, you as a man should be able to say I'm bisexual.
And you, you know, the girl or guy who's interested.
They have the prerogative to say no, but they don't have the
prerogative to say, well, that's just not normal.
I can't do that. What can't you do?
What is so intimidating that someone likes a little bit of
both but is genuinely saying I'm interested in you?
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I think actually so you brought up something that is really
fascinating to me and it's the way in which the media treats
different. The different genders versus
when it comes to their sexuality.
So Demi is a great example of someone who does not get a lot
of good press ever, every little thing that they do that is
considered or that could be objectionable.
And look to be fair there's been a lot of things that they've
done that are objectionable. It gets printed.
I I often think about the way that the media handles Demi
Lovato versus somebody like Neil Patrick Harris now.
Neil Patrick Harris, I I love. I love his acting.
He's been great in a lot of movies.
He has done a lot of shit as a gay man.
That is very bad, not just for the community, but just as a
human being, like the whole Amy Winehouse thing.
I don't know if you know about this, with the cake that looked
like Amy Winehouse's body when she passed away and like.
Hearing about how what an asshole he is behind the scenes
and it's just like, but nobody talks about the terrible things
that he does. But the media loves to focus on
a queer woman who has done something wrong.
And like, OK, there's a lot of other celebrities that we have
that are not white, that we could be talking about his
representation as well. One person I will say, is the
media portrayal of Kehlani. Okay.
Openly openly bisexual, very, very queer.
Has had several relationships with women and yet people
couldn't wrap the like wrap it around their heads.
As to why Kehlani had a baby with a man and could not wrap
their selves around the fact that a black, you know, a POC
bisexual woman, nonbinary, I believe they also identify as.
Was willing to have a baby with. I believe the guy was gay.
They could not wrap that around their heads at all.
And I'm like, again, if they're two loving people that want to
bring a child out of love the good oldfashioned way, so be it.
News flash y'all kids are not cheap and kids are definitely
not cheap to have when you are part of the L GB TQ Plus
community. Yeah.
Oh yeah. I mean, and and also look at
like somebody else that doesn't get a lot of recognition, even
though they absolutely should. Janelle Monáe.
Oh my God. Oh my God, like brilliant
musician, amazing actor. And she gets no love.
It's like. No, she she's called.
She's called a hoe and everything else underneath the
sun, especially lately with the age of pleasure.
I'm sorry, but I've been a Janelle Monáe fan since 2003.
OK. Can we?
Talk about what a fucking anthem lipstick lover is, cuz holy shit
it's so good. That entire album is just the
queer Summer playlist. It is a very unapologetic vibe.
But again, why is it that, you know, bringing it to the
bisexual bisexuality part? Why aren't we celebrating
bisexual artistry? Why?
Why is it that it's acceptable to an extent?
That women can be bisexual on their albums, but dare a man do
so? I mean, if Sam Smith was to come
out and say that he's bisexual one day because he's doing
questionable shit to women and his music, music videos all the
time, y'all would not ride the train.
You would drop that man so fast, in a heartbeat quicker than you
already have as him being just solely gay.
I do want to real a real quick correction because Sam Smith is
very openly non binary as. Well, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
But but this is, this is actually.
It brings up another point because Sam Smith's music is
very like, in your face. They've always kind of been in
your face and they've, you know, like, hey.
I'm queer. Here's me.
I mean, I really do love their music.
Let's let's talk about Unholy. Because when Unholy was
performed, I don't even remember what award show it.
Was I think it was the Ama's. So I think you're you're
probably right. But both Sam Smith and Kim
Petrus were on stage, and while they were performing, you know,
Sam had that really cartoonish hat with the devil horns in it.
And an entire segment of the population who, to be fair,
doesn't like queer people anyway, got all up in arms about
how satanic it is and it's like, y'all.
Come on now, you're probably the same people that celebrated
Culture Club not realizing Boy George.
Or mind the fact, look at Elton John's career.
Elton John was an opening bisexual man for years.
For years, and y'all didn't accept him.
The minute he said, sorry y'all, I'm actually gay.
You just thought, oh, it was just the costumes, the
flamboyancy. He's very much into pussy.
No, he was a little bit into both until he wasn't.
And now he's living his life, you know, retired and
fantabulous, you know, in concert.
I was so glad I got to catch the last.
The last concert. But it's like, it's the
treatment for me. When it comes down to Maine,
Y'all are so quick to judge the minute when a man says he's no
longer gay but he's bisexual, or vice versa, that they're no
longer bisexual, that he's gay. Look at even George Michael.
Oh my gosh, yeah. I was going to say like, George
Michael is another example. Lil Nas X is another example.
But like with Lil Nas X there is also the entire like the fact
that he is extremely, extremely openly queer in everything he
does and God damn, I love him for it.
Hell yes, I knew that boy was in the gimmick act all like Lil Nas
X yeah, is not a gimmick. You know I.
Got taught us anything like that.
That album is like, it's fire from start to finish.
It's so good and and like people still looking at it and going
like I was like he's he's just, yeah, he's doing it as a
gimmick. It's like fucking no, this is
him. Like did you listen to any of
the lyrics about how personal it was for him to come out and how
lonely he felt? It was so, so like, ah God, I
love, I God I love Montero so much.
I love it too. Honestly it.
Kind of brought me back to a love, a pop that I had long,
long just deserted just because and just beyond me.
But again, bringing it back to the main topic of, you know,
bisexuality, like, why is it that women especially just do
not want to date bisexual men? It's just it does not make sense
to me. I consider myself to be very
lucky because I met my partner before, after or I I haven't
been on Tinder or any other dating, dating, anything for
again like 7 years so. I I've been out of the dating
game. But seeing some of the
screenshots online, and I know that they're the most extreme
screenshots that you see of you know, women's profile pictures
that say or women's BIOS that say you know will not date by
men. And then seeing like messages
back and forth of like some terrible shit that they say to
bisexual guys where they're like no, ooh, you've had you've had a
Dick in your ass how let's grow. It's like fucking grow up like
what? What the hell is wrong with you?
It's like as long as we. 23 And yeah, gay rights are being taken
away all over the country, but look like it's 2023.
Fucking grow up. At this point, it's like you
should be asking yourself who hasn't had a Dick in their ass?
I mean right exactly. Who hasn't who?
Who hasn't sucked a Dick? I mean as like one of my amazing
partners, who's the man had said on my podcast a few years ago,
talking about being a straight man who has been with trans
women, he's like at the end of the day.
Yeah, I sucked a Dick. But you know what?
It's just a tool. It's not.
It's not what makes me. That doesn't make me gay because
I sucked a Dick. I sucked a tool.
What people don't quite understand is that the sex organ
isn't the person. No, it's just it's it's it's
there. And if you if you're if you want
the pleasure, you get the pleasure if you're now.
Maybe that's just my bisexuality coming out, but like it it
doesn't matter to me what parts my partner has.
You know. I'm glad you said that.
Cuz like it's just and I so this is this actually is a thing that
happened at Pride last year. I'm I have a a big bisexual flag
and I'm kind of known now around the Pride space where I'm the
one that kind of runs around Pride generally in the parade
giving people by fives. So run up to someone and go why
5 and I give them a a high 5. So I I was waving my bisexual
flag around and somebody came up and and they had a they had a
pansexual flag. And I said hey, by 5.
You know what I gave? I gave them a, a high five.
And they said, oh, you know, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm
basically bisexual too. But I I don't really care about
the parts. It's parts not hearts or it's
it's hearts not parts for me. And I said, and I stopped and I
said, well, hold on a second because I don't give a crap
about parts either. And I blew their mind.
They went, wait, really? And I said, what do you think
bisexuality is like? The difference between
bisexuality and pansexuality are like, they're very similar.
In many ways, very. But it's more a matter of like
bisexuals are. It's like the giant umbrella and
you kind of get the feeling that like, OK, gender.
Could play a role in attraction, or maybe there's gender traits
that you like. For me, it's like there's
certain things about men I like, there's certain things about
women I like, there's certain things about non binary people I
like. And so I sort of see myself as
somewhere in the like somewhere bisexual basically, If anything,
maybe omnisexual. I don't.
Know. But but for pansexuals, it's
just that gender doesn't factor into your attraction at all.
That's the the the main difference, as we understand it,
is. For pansexuals, they don't care.
It's just like, oh, if I'm attracted to you, I'm attracted
to you. But functionally, that's
basically similar to the how I function.
If I like somebody, I'm not thinking like, well, they're,
you know, maybe I'm not feeling like Dick today.
No, I don't think about that. I'm just like, I really like
this person and that's it. That's where it ends or where I
should say where it starts. And that's you know what?
I'm glad that you mentioned that.
Because again, like, even with pansexuality, I'd like to say
like pan is like the pan. That you cook with.
Sometimes you cook with one singular thing, then you might
cook it up and you add other flavors and spices.
That's your your your pansexuality, if you will, your
bisexuality. It's like you get a little best
of both worlds. Because by means too if you look
at if you break it down in Latin, you know.
And again bisexuality doesn't have a limitation either.
You like what you like. At the end of the day it
shouldn't matter. And when people you know.
Get offended by, you know, you saying like, Oh well, it's not
about the the genders. I'm like, no, I do get offended
because it's not about the genders.
We shouldn't just limit it to the sexual aspect of what
sexuality encompasses, if that makes sense.
Yeah, so I actually do know where bisexuality comes from
because I did the research on this shit.
Thank you. In the in the 1800s there was a
guy by the name of Charles Gilbert Chaddock and he was
studying plants and he came up with the word bisexual to mean.
Plants that exhibit the properties of two different
genders, that was where the the the word originally came from.
But by the time the 1930s rolled around and we had what is it?
The the Institute of Sexual Research in in Germany, which
I'm sure you've had a lot of conversations with people around
where they talked about bisexuality, primarily
transgender. It was primarily like a trans
institute, but they studied sexuality as well.
And by then they had works that were specifically writing about
people who were attracted. Did to multiple genders.
And then in the 1960s, everybody kind of was like, oh, you know,
sexuality is kind of fluid. And then bisexuality kind of
started to become a big thing. And then we had, you know,
Brenda Howard, obviously, who was very openly bisexual,
polyamorous, the mother of pride, all of that.
So as early as the. One of the mothers.
Sexuality. One of the mothers.
Thank you for the corrections.
So. As as early as the 1930s, the
word bisexual meant attraction to genders other than your own.
Like that was the the, the entire, the entire spectrum of
it. So that's where the word
bisexual came from. So it might have had the root of
of two, but it did in the future.
It kind of grew into the two, the two types of of attractions,
attraction to one's gender and attraction to other genders.
So anyway there. You.
Go. I like it.
Thank you. I was going to say in rapping, I
found this very interesting. And I wonder if you had heard
about this. This came out in May.
Actually. There was an Australian study
conducted that they said, can you tell specifically a man is
bisexual just by their voice? And people were saying, well,
yeah, we got gaydar, this is Bidar.
And I'm like. First of all, this sounds lame
as fuck, because sometimes our gaydar can be weighed the fuck
off like you might think a man sounds gay or woman sounds gay.
And they're neither. They're neither.
I call it my bifocals around. So I'm like my buy.
If that's the case. My buy in gaydar has been off
the charts. Because, honey, I like them all.
I don't care. Like, at this point.
You know I'm very queer and I'm more just gravitated to the
beings and not so much of like what you got down there or
upstairs. I don't give a fuck as long as
you are just not doing harm in the community.
What I do know for a fact is that again more Safic loving for
me but that's not my story to tell in this episode.
But what I did find was interesting.
So James Morandini and I'm fight butcher's name James Morandini
he's the Australian. Psychologists and his colleagues
said that it's not just the case to bisexual men.
They said most often we've gotten over the homophobia that
we've been raised on, but we've shifted to instead to binary
thinking. That is, you're either straight
or gay. In a phenomenon known as
bisexual erasure. As we talked about earlier, men
who are attracted to both males and females are essentially
invisible. In a culture that labels
everyone as gay and straight. So furthermore, they did a
research of 70 participants to determine the sexual identities
of 60 men on recording solely on their voice okay.
Of those recordings, 20 were gay, 20 were by 20 were
straight, and while the subjects could correctly categorize the
sexual orientation of the gay or the gay or straight speakers at
rates greater than chance. The same wasn't as true for the
samples of the bisexual voices. So Long story short, listeners
judge the Bye Guys as being the most masculine of all voices.
What you have to admit is pretty funny because again, when you
think of bisexual man, we don't think masculinity as the
portrayal as we were talking about.
So the fact that they were saying that the most bisexual
men that they did find in the study were the ones who were the
most mask presenting. Maybe, maybe, just maybe, that's
just a proven point of just the 70 people in Australia that took
this course can carry on to a bigger pool here in America to
say no. You cannot judge a person based
off of their voice, listen to their experiences.
Can you can you tell me right now, does my voice sound
bisexual to you? Please tell me.
Let me tell you right now, this is probably the most bisexual
voice you've ever heard in your entire life.
I'm not even going to follow up on that because listen again,
no, we cannot tell somebody's sexuality.
Because if that's the case, y'all motherfuckers have been
getting it wrong for years about me.
Oh. That's fantastic.
Thank you so much for having me today.
This has been, this has been a total blast.
I'm telling you, you know, yes, I had to end it on that story
because. Could not believe that a
bisexual study was trying to be put out there to say we could
tell by just by the sound of their voice.
Greg. We could tell by the sound of
their voice. By the sound of their voice.
With that said, Greg, thank you so much.
Thank you so much for going all over the spectrum because again,
that's what sexuality is, That's what bisexuality is all over the
spectrum. It's neither here nor there.
Your journey is not someone else's journey.
And that's what makes it beautiful.
It makes it a beautiful, bisexual, solid, if you will,
toss it up in the air. With that, it's kind of a buy
soup. It's all fluid, you know?
I mean, it is a lot of fluid. Oh my.
God, honestly, I love that this has gone off the rails.
It's half the. Fun No?
That's this is the joy of Sapphire's Airplay.
Very conversational, down to the nitty gritty and Greg.
Thank you so much. Where can people get in touch
with you? What is next?
If people are interested in the course that you teach, can
people get in touch with you on that?
Yeah, well, I mean, you can follow me on Instagram and on
TikTok. If you look up Cafe 3G on
TikTok, that's a me. If you look up Cafe under score
3G on Instagram, that's also a me.
And then if you go to YouTube, Cafe 3G is where I post pretty
much all of my alphabet radio stuff and I do a lot of stuff.
It's a lot of different types of content that primarily focuses
on queerness in video games, and queerness just in general.
The course that I teach is in a loney College in Fremont.
It's the the BRDC courses. So if you're interested in
taking some beginning broadcasting courses, hey,
that's I'm the guy that's gonna be teaching those.
I'm also gonna encourage you, the listener, to check out The
Bisexual Manifesto. Go and read it.
There is a ton of fantastic information from 1990 about
bisexuality and about better understanding your own
sexuality. And if you have questions, feel
free to reach out. I'm always available.
My DM's are open. Unless you're creepy, in which
case my DM's are closed. See, listen, not all bye guys
are just grabbing at it, OK? It's not a free for all that you
think. That's not bisexuality.
It's not a free for all. We do have our velvet ropes, OK?
With that said, y'all, thank you so much Greg and ear bites.
I'm taking a week off. Yes your girl is going out of
town. So after this week on May 23rd
there will be a brand new airgasm waiting fresh for you
after I get back from a much needed vacation which in.
We we can all be just honest. It's a fuckation.
That's what it is. But with that said, make sure
you are following me at Ms. Radio, sapphire.com at Ms. Radio
Sapphire and Instagram. That's MSRADIOSAPPHIRE at
Sapphires Earplay. And until next time, safe sex is
the best hot sex. Good night.
That was the show all you sexy motherfuckers out there remember
to follow at Miss Radio Sapphire and Sapphire's Earplay on
Instagram. Want some eargasms of the past
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