Warning, the following program is not for the weak-hearted.
Those were closed minded when General you're scared to learn.
What's behind closed. Doors here at sapphires are
play. I want you to pour the wine.
Grab somebody that you want to hold onto or better yet.
Get the vibration stimulated through your body.
Get ready for one, hell of an eargasm in five, four, three,
two, one. What is up while you sexy
motherfuckers out there in radioland need you girls I fire
back with another. Another Dynamic episode, I'm
really excited to bring on these people.
I should even say these people, this amazing couple that I of
course the internet just brings people together.
You may know them on Instagram as sex tech in chill with that
end or XO fly. Do all on Twitter but you may
just know them as Sherry and Reuben.
So I want to say thank you guys for joining the show.
I want to talk about, you know, fly media Productions, what
you're all about because a lot of the times I especially love
sharing on Instagram, you know, your sex wrap-up of the week and
just everything that you guys do just the honest conversations
that you guys are bringing to the table and especially what
we're going to talk about today. I think it's going to hit home
for a lot of people especially if you're like me, I'm over
found I like to say I'm a profound Catholic school girl,
you know, I did my sin. Innings.
And now I'm just reaping the benefits of leaving, you know,
Catholicism all around. And a lot of people don't
realize that. I was in fact, religious once
upon a time in my life and it's amazing when you find in King
spaces and like-minded individuals.
So very excited to talk about this so welcome Sherry and
Ruben, thank you so much has all the way up.
Listen, give credit when it's due and y'all are doing it and I
really just I see what you guys are doing with the community.
You guys had a really big Twitter conversation, a couple
of months ago when the PornHub documentary came out and I loved
that you guys were able to screen cap and share for the
folks who kind of got banned from Twitter can catch up but
like seriously, I love how you make your content very
conversational. You know, anybody that goes to
their Instagram and if you don't know who these folks are, go to
their Instagram right now and you'll see what I'm talking
about. I feel like you guys are really
doing something a little bit different.
As far as, you know, bringing sex positivity on to social
media, especially where, you know, there's a war on sex,
positivity and self image on social media platforms that you
guys do. So let's get into it.
You know, fly media Productions. How did you guys go from a
production company into now, you know, Sex positive space like
walk us through it. Oh, wow.
That's okay, yeah. So, we started out in the late
1990s, early 2000s. We started doing websites and
all that started. Our agency out of subsidized
housing. And then just kind of like, you
know, 20 years later. It evolved we from doing
websites and all of that in small business stuff to focusing
on brand experience. Isis in about 2019, we 2018-19,
we had been into our own like sexuality journey and then from
that, we decided we got so much personal benefit from it.
We said, how can we like take all the work we're doing this
way and make it like a line up with what our agency does.
So that when we're putting in these long days and everything,
it benefits the company and then the company benefits us
personally, and, you know, vice versa Like it was literally
February. 20 2008 was invited to speak at an industry conference
in New Orleans. And this is literally like, you
know, beginning of February, the end of February, like March
first, we were in pandemic land. I was about to say like, wow,
what a way to start of 2012. Oh my God.
So so I was on the stage, we had this big presentation and one of
the slides in my presentation is the word sex all caps with a
period at the end. And I was basically talking
about the, you know, the intersection of culture,
sexuality agency, World marketing World, which everyone
in attendance, they're all like people who lead marketing
creative digital agencies. Like, you know, people doing
some really dope shit and all of that.
So like that was the colleagues who were there and what we were
doing was we were saying hey we're repositioning our agency
to not only like do stuff in a pleasure space but to like
Center doing work for pleasure industry.
Ends. And we would love to see more of
our mainstream colleagues kind of consider it for their own
agencies. And so we put out an invitation
during my presentation. I just said, hey after I get off
the stage, if you're interested hit me up.
Literally what I was getting off the stage, there was people back
there behind stage, waiting for me, taking me up on my offer
which was, I did not expect it. I was so happy.
We got such an amazing response from that because people were
Literally, we took this thing that like, I have like a quote
in there. It's basically like I'm talking
about Cindy gallop, and the things that we respect her for
it. It's like she talks about this
stuff and polite company that you're supposedly, not supposed
to talk about in polite company, and I was like, I'm going to
bring that to the stage and that's what I did.
And I just did it in a way that was, you know, obviously
appropriate for the venue of the audience and all that because,
you know, people have to consent to certain things.
So I made it. So did you know?
It was obviously safe for work, but I brought the conversation.
Un, because we think the conversation is really
important. And one of the things that we
think is super important is like, people like movies and
entertainment, you're super impact on society.
Right? Advertising and marketing, I
would argue in some ways is even more impactful because you
taking complex ideas and you distilling them down to seconds
or minutes and you're moving people and emotional way in a
way that advertisers and marketers are just really good
at. So I'm like it.
If we can get more of us thinking about sexuality, and a
more like social impact on our way and align it with, you know,
with commercial interest. But in a way that serves Society
versus only serves corporate interest, I think we can make a
better world and that's ultimately like what we're
trying to do and why our agency like why we kind of like made
like our company's brand value is destigmatize pleasure.
The overarching thing that the company now exists to do.
Is destigmatize pleasure. How that happens, depends on
what products and projects were working on.
But that is just stage 2 is kind of like if it makes us
uncomfortable, that means we have to do it.
That's parody. Stigmatizing it.
Okay, we're going all-in. You know what I mean?
It's like super scary at first. It's like so many, like things
we step into it's, like, do we do this?
Do we not do this? Well, for asking, do we do this?
And we better freakin do it, you know, exactly like they say Oh,
go ahead. I love how you said, you know,
making if we're making content that it's making people feel
uncomfortable. I mean, I think those are what
the best conversation starters are, you know, exactly.
And I think when it comes to, you know, sex, we see it.
A lot of times, you know, we see companies as I was talking about
in my previous episode last week, talking about how the word
porn. Especially has become such this
taboo word that companies want to disassociate themselves who
are making erotic content, but they are making it a point to
say, don't call it for him. You know, I love the company,
Make Love Not born, but it is very clear in the title.
Don't call us porn because of the netting, the negative
connotation that comes with that.
So when you have a company like yourselves doing that, I think,
you know, y'all are on the start of something because we need to
have these conversations. We need to have the word porn
present but also redefining what defines pleasure right there?
100? What you just said, like an
audience that. Okay, a CV.
I'll put you right at you, like yeah, that's right there.
Facts, facts facts, like 100% like it's wow because it's like
that's why destigmatize I think is so important in normalizing
because I don't They're like one of the things that I do want to,
like pay homage to his, all the people who have been doing good
work in this space for 20 years and they never really got the
flowers, like, you know, we had to hold.
Give Janet her flowers back. Several years ago, there's
people who haven't necessarily gotten recognition, and they've
been doing work, and it's like, they haven't shied away from
that and obviously every Creator, it's, you know, their
prerogative, how they want to lean into it when Hunter I
really want to change. And like, for me, I look at the
people. You saw like I don't know if
you're into hip-hop or not but like you remember the if you
are. Yes.
So so okay. We're giving it a look like
The wall but I thought there was another Duo kingdom kingdom
kingdom. Yeah.
That you all were talking about that then I was like, I was like
I'm sitting here during that episode just like say more.
I was like because I love when shit goes down, social justice
style - okay. Yo, I'm a student and I want to
be a master someday so I was okay word.
Well, the reason I brought up hip-hop is because you remember
the whole that can't adjust position.
Oh, you know I'm a backpack rap up, don't know.
I'm a con Just wrap up. Oh no, he's a, he's a gangster
rapper. Nah dude, it's all hip hop.
It's all God value. The people trying to like
segment it into different things of what's appropriate and what's
not? They, they benefit from the
diversion. They did, they benefit from
like, splitting off because that creates disunity and disharmony.
And that's where, like, I want to like, see people think about
the term pain differently and but, you know, there's obviously
people who Some real fucked up. Messed up wax shit.
And that's why is God, like all of the stigma attached to it?
And I totally get that. Yeah, but it's like, we can
change that narrative. I mean, you know, I don't know.
Let's dive into that because I think a lot of the times when,
you know, you see couples who work together, especially in,
you know, the pleasure business if you will.
A lot of people just assume like, oh, this couple must be
fucking on the rag. They just they got it in.
Act their sex life is intact. And one of the things that we
were talking about off are as far as like, you know, topic
wise, you know, you did bring up this really good point, those
who are even in the pleasure business adult industry, you
know, it's sometimes hard to incorporate sex and porn into
the relationship yo for you, you know, and Sheree Walk us through
that Journey because you guys have a very interesting Journey.
Yes, we very interesting Journey.
Like, interesting to say the least, you know, some people
might come before the show. You missed a really good
myself to you guys, especially, it's like y'all left a very big.
Impactful Church. Oh hell yes we did and and
depending on how you how you describe, what the church versus
what's it called. Rosen with the I control group,
sometimes it's the nuance and it's like splitting hairs.
But yeah, we left the Jehovah Witness organization.
You want to start telling it or do you want to go ahead?
You're on. So we were I was practically
born into it. I was real young when my parents
joined into it. It my parents.
It was born into it were, but my parents came out of like,
Southern Baptist and share. What's the other one?
Seventh-Day Adventists. So it's like, I guess you a lot
of similarity, but they have a lot of eggs are an extreme
amount of control over individuals in your sexuality to
the point where like, you know like for me I hadn't masturbated
or only a couple of times and every time I was wracked with
guilt so I would like avoid it like the plague And like,
anytime I looked at anything like sexually explicit like porn
on feel so guilty and it's like, it takes this part of you and it
takes you, and turned you against yourself.
So, for the longest time, I thought I was just terrible
because of the way they frame it and like, natural human stuff,
becomes like your sinful, you're staying, you're all these other,
you know, in Peoria. All of it is bad like sex before
marriage full. And around before marriage, it's
all bad and we'll get you in serious trouble.
And then, once you are married, they still control and what you
do and don't do in your home and in your bedroom and your
relationship to the point where, if, if people find out, even if
you masturbating or watching porn or anything like that, or
if you tell on yourself, because they have a way of getting
people to do that, too. Hmm, then you're in serious
trouble. And then, on top of all of that,
they have, you believe that it's Incredibly detrimental to your
relationship. So that's where I was like, that
was my mindset. I grew up in this believing.
This my mother was very much like that.
So I became the same way and it was like, no this is all know.
It's awful limits, it's bad and it's going to ruin us.
It's dangerous as hell. So we know that where we started
so many guys, when you guys met it, You guys were active in the
gym where we met at a big Bible convention.
That's actually where we met each other.
You all look so wild because I could never imagine it today
because it's like, but that's reality.
It's so crazy to me because again, it ties into the fact of
how hard normalizing sexuality born in Ation ships and then,
you know, you guys are coming from a background where like you
just say even the just the thought of sex, you're getting
reprimanded for it. So how do you go from?
You know, this repressed state of marriage, repressed, seed of
life, you know, in a church in a Colts, whatever you want to call
it in and, you know, mind-controlling organization to
we're going to be in our natural.
I mean, we're going to be free Unapologetic, not give a fuck.
And, you know, help others find their voice in a sexual space.
Where did that transition? Where did that wake up?
Call come come from that wake-up.
Call, it takes his mind and body woke him up first.
Yeah, yeah, my. Well, you know what's funny?
Like you can in the late 90s, we try to explore it but then it
just so happened that while we were trying to Explore it.
The church went really hard, right?
And they got really anti-sex and it triggered a lot of guilt and
kind of put the quash on that. But at the end of the day I
couldn't you can only suppress yourself so much and I was at
the point where I was so sure I was going crazy.
Like legit internally just all fucked up.
So I started exploring when I started exploring, it was
actually to fix myself. It was to like figure out.
Why am I so sexual? Because they would tell me you
care about sex too much. You need to stop caring about
sex so much. So I started exploring what the
thing that I did was I did the thing.
They don't want you to do and I started going out and looking at
mainstream respected resources and that's a No-No within the
org. They only really want you to
look at their literature so that you're only getting their
messages. But I started exploring
anthropology science-based stuff about sexuality, you know,
psychology.com, I went everywhere and And really, it
started to fix myself to like if I can really get to the root of
like why I like sex so much why I'm so into all the stuff that I
can fix it and turn it off. Well, you know, doing all that?
I figured out. I came to realization.
No, I'm not broken Riley in a really fucked-up group that I
have to get out of. And then I'll be able to
Blossom. Wow, wow.
I'm just like there's so many questions and Sherry I want to
direct this question to you as a woman, you know, especially as
much as we get shunned for just being a woman as far as
exploring and Just standing in our own and our own ground
because I'm not to in tune with Jehovah's Witness other than
they are extremely annoying. When I'm trying to work and I
have to literally turn my porn sound work higher so that they
don't come to the fucking whore. That's a good strategy right
there. Just put it on full blast to get
him out of my you know vicinity but it's like as a female you
know, walking into this organization.
Ization. And then leaving eventually this
organization, would you say a lot of that guilt?
Kind of hurt as far as, you know, living in society as we
have been seeing right now that our bodies are not technically
our bodies, then you're in an organization.
That's also saying your body is not your body.
When did your body become your body when it was forced to like
honestly, like we Had been out for what, like, seven, eight
years, and he and meet the whole time.
He's figuring his self out and learning all this stuff, but my
way of coping was to disassociate and to like just
shut it all off, which obviously caused a shit ton of conflict
for us. So it eventually got to a point
where he was like I need more. So let's have this conversation
and it was a point where we were ready to like break up because
he wanted needed more, and I was just like this is impossible, I
can't do this and somehow I still couldn't like Like undo,
what I was raised to believe. I couldn't like flip the switch
in my brain or in my body to like, wake up to any of it.
I was too petrified of the opposite.
I was petrified that all that was true.
So I just disassociated and turned all of that off within
myself. So I was just like a cold gel
for a long time. Wow.
And it into where he was like I need more from us and for me and
so I was at the point where it was like, what It's the worse.
It's going to happen. It's already here.
It's right here. It's right in front of me like
this conversation. Is it?
So we both like Hunter agreed that we were going to.
Just start trying new things together and exploring new
things and learning more about all the stuff that we were
taught was bad and wrong, and in testing it for ourselves and
that's kind of where it started and like, I'm so so glad that he
kind of came to me with that because I wouldn't be were who I
am today or where I am today. Had he not, I probably still be
like just totally shut off from the world, you know, and it's
weird because I was not always Like this, when we first dated
we were very sensual and touchy-feely and love each
other. I was just about to ask, you
know, flirty kinky to. Like, I love when people are
hurt. You wish to wear these overalls,
we shouldn't have done and I didn't feel guilty, like I was
the one who felt guilty, like someone going to tell and I am
so sorry. I was I was a dumbass I'm a 100
keep it. But I was still young and didn't
really get that constant reprimand at that time yet.
I want we go. Got married.
She got, they just dumped on your costume.
We do believe that part of it is the fact that it was us together
the interracial. Yeah.
Within our organization, I was already growing up.
I was already treated differently because of my look,
I don't, I am essential person. I'm a curvy girl, I like to show
my shape, and I wear makeup and all that stuff.
That was always an issue even before meeting Ruben.
But when I met Ruben, it was like, all of a sudden, the blame
became like it was And of put on him that he was making me this
way. And yeah and then like that I
was all of a sudden even more of a sexual person just by Nature
like all of a sudden, nothing actually changed.
So we got a lot of I don't even know what to call it.
Like people were always coming at us and yeah, criticizing us
in. They like we get in.
We get counseling from the leaders for public display of
affection like even holding hands, like because they what
their response was. Well, you know, that a lot of
people don't like interracial relationships.
Do you think you're bringing shame on God to hold hands in
public? So they start being said this to
you. I wore the leadership at the
church. Yeah.
The Lok they're called elders,
but it'd be like a deacon or write equivalent like a deacon,
or a priest depending on your Action.
But like, yeah, they'd be like, well, you know, like like,
oftentimes even though we know it's wrong to be racist, you
know, there's a lot of people in the community who don't like
black and white person being together.
So, do you think your inflaming tensions and bringing shame on
God by holding hands with her? And throwing it in?
Their faces as though like holding hands is out there.
Fucking up on a bench or something like so we just got so
I think that's one of the reasons that happened Sherry
Large. And so everything I did just got
automatically was heightened more bad, more, sexual, more
wrong like, we'd be walking down the street.
We go to the camera so we get holding to the bathroom like oh
so-and-so saw you and you were wearing XYZ and only.
Yeah. They reported on her constantly
like literally. We were, it was happening all
the time I really became agoraphobic because I go.
Wow, couldn't stand. Like, I felt like I was being
watched everywhere. I went, I was going to be
Reported on and I couldn't do anything.
Like I literally went to the point where I would wear these
stupid ass, Winnie, the Pooh shirts and oh my God.
Jeans. And like I tried to downplay all
of me and it still wasn't enough.
I still got it. And it was like, I didn't know
what else to do, but just kind of shut down and go like, within
myself and that was part of it. Like, they tried as much as they
could to get you to desexualize yourself because I mean,
literally, yeah, yeah, exactly. But we had so much dope in this
before that too. Like I'm like, like we were we
were, I don't mean to cut you off, I just know.
It's like we were so dope together and even when we had
the challenges, we will always man, best friends.
It's just, you know, we want you to period where sex was an issue
and that was a mad conflict but our friendship we were always
tight. Like, we were legit.
Bonnie, and Clyde, like I would erode for her to hell and back.
I don't like gone anywhere and Ben Do you fuck with her?
You fuck with me? Like, I literally told I told
cops that I told a fucking judge that I'm like, I didn't fucking
care who it was like. I like I will I will stand and
fuck with God, like don't mess with her.
Cause you mess with her. You got a problem with me, you
know. I'm a crazy motherfucker like
like word like yeah, shut it all down, but it was Ruben coming to
me and basically saying we have to change something and it's got
to change or this isn't going to work that I started to like kind
of come out of that. And, uh, no, I don't even know
what to call it like, Start to open back up to who I actually
am and what I actually like and I'm interested in and you became
the the butterfly in the Cocoon if you will you know, you yeah.
Had to strip everything and I mean that's a lot again to
unpack because of the fact like you said you know you're living
in essentially an organization. A church that is basically
putting so much fear into you that you could walk.
Walk around. Yeah, and live life and we hear
this all the time, when people leave like religious cults, and
organizations that, you know, we were under watched and I always
think like, oh, this is, y'all are just kind of drum mattes,
you know, dramatizing it and it's like the more I've talked
to people, it is crazy. What an organization will do
just to keep you under control. Yeah, word.
I mean, it, we would go to tourists by like Remember one
time we were in Boston, we were at, like, Faneuil Hall and we
were in the some people and literally the next week.
The leaders pulled us in the back and reported on exactly
what she was wearing when we were in Boston and P.
And then one time we were in Providence, we're like at the
water fire and some people, we just ran into some people.
We knew from another version of the church and next year, no, we
got called in and they knew exactly what she was wearing
there and someone had complain like and that's why I like my
Sheila. J hat.
A reason to be worried about it too much, but, like, literally,
this, this is too much. And y'all, she's not wearing too
much like she's into cleavage, you know, anything Ruben would
get so mad at me because I would be like this all the time.
Okay. You can see something, like,
pull your shirt up. You, I can't have anything
because people, and I'm always like, I'm the exact opposite.
I'm like, yo, let your girls out, like, I love your titties,
just let them flow, you know, not to be disrespectful.
Sherry. I Was gonna say, honey.
Youyou. Got tasteful cleavage right now.
Okay. You are a gorgeous.
You are a gorgeous fucking woman.
As you may know. I love the ladies.
I'm learning and processing and I'm just like, I feel hyper
visible when I go outside, I still do.
So it's I'm still I'm still getting there, you know, but you
know what? What, what I'm hearing from this
is it helps to have a good supportive partnership in your
relationship because, you know, as much as people try to say,
don't give your entire power to your partner.
Sometimes you do have to give a certain power to your partner
because they're going to find something and they're going to
bring out that Jim, you know, I feel the same way about my
partner, actually my group of partners because I'm
polyamorous, you know, when I first met my primary, you know,
my live-in partner. I'm still this day, very
insecure, you know, I go through a lot of self-deprecation and I
do Blame A lot of it, you know, being in a faith base school, it
wasn't even so much the home life because home, I could do
whatever, but the fact that I went to Catholic school for 12
years, I was told what to wear, I had to wear my skirt to a
certain inch degree where I would have to, you know, bend on
my knees. And if my skirt didn't touch at
least, Bit of the floor. You're a hussy.
You got detention, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't wear, you
know, my button up shirts without you know, buttoning to
one button was too much but it's like, you know, like you said
it's you have all this guilt, these years of trying to unlearn
something. And then when you add sex into
the equation and let's face it, I do see a shift going on in the
sexual imagery of like who exactly is at the hands of
pleasure. I'm glad that we are getting
more, you know, interracial like good porn not the interracial
like bad porn. Hell yes.
You know, they say it again, it makes me uncomfortable sometimes
to unfortunately work for certain companies and I'm like,
are we really putting this shit out in 2023?
Like can we please reassess the situation at hand like this is
not a loving sexual porn that No one wants to get off to when
you're you know, emphasizing and dehumanizing a black person for
fucking a white person or lighter skinned person, you
know. Yes, I'm so happy to hear you
say that hell. Yes.
So, you know, with all that said, it's like I am so glad
that you guys are able to really like talk about it.
In really say like, hey, we escape this for our own benefit.
And the fact that you were just saying that the Hands of your
own relationship, we're on a Fritz because of that that is a
huge wake-up, call that a lot of couples go through and it's hard
to be like, hey, we could fix this shape, you know.
I don't like to say couples and ultimatums don't happen but that
is an ultimatum that is worth fighting for.
Yeah yeah absolutely. I mean that's what it ultimately
was for us as much as it's like it's hard for me to want to
acknowledge it but it is a legit was like that.
Funny thing is, we had her so much and you still hear from
like a lot of people who are Uber, conservative or Uber,
right, wing porn, ruins relationships, formed Nam, and
porn was, like, great for our relationship.
Porn was like, great for opening up conversation is and getting
us to be able to feel more comfortable.
Exploring stuff like, porn was like, I mean, and I think part
of it is, you just got to find the right stuff and there was a
lot of the right stuff out there, find the right Studios
and Platforms and all that because it's like, porn is not
what? Just the one thing.
And maybe if you're looking at like, traditional gay stuff or
whatever, or that may not be the good the right fit for you, but
you got to expand your palate because there's a lot of stuff
out there like, yeah, and find it before you take it into the
bedroom like them, ghosts or flooring the night that you
trying to be all like yeah. Yeah, if any of your Forte yeah
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Now back to the eargasm, you know, talk about just like how
show flow goes, that was not rehearse.
Okay. We're talking about, you know,
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my code seven days free, you'll. Thank me later and I'm glad that
Sherry just talked about that which triggers because here's
the thing, when you're introducing porn into your
relationship, I absolutely. Absolutely feel in agree with
you. On sampling the merch before you
bring it to the partner and again there's just so much out
there, you know, I've talked about Dipsy on the show, I've
now talked about Afterglow and those two platforms, they are
redefining by not using the word porn, but they're, you know,
redefining erotica and erotica for couples.
Erotica for women for Maine for gay people.
Straight people, pansexual non-binary.
You know, there's so much. The fact that there are, you
know, Kink Representatives out there in space has, who were
also saying like, hey, we don't just do videos we host forums
and chats, we hold, you know, blogs in live feeds that you
could talk to, you know, some experts and that, I think is how
you can introduce your relationship to porn or erotica.
If you will, that's part of what we did at our virtual event.
We had like, we had panels of experts We had performers.
We also try to do a lot to show that performers are whole human
beings with more side to them, in addition to their sex perform
aside which ain't no no shade at that.
Because that's the dope side that gets us all connected to
that person but they have all these other cool sides to them.
So that's part of what we did is I and what our platform we want
to do is we bring people in and show you this all these other
sides to them, get to know this because maybe No, you will see
the performers, the genre and yourself in a different way.
This is not how it's often painted.
It's so easy to paint it with broad strokes and say, yo, it's
so negative and this and that, and the third, but that's just.
If you don't actually have enough awareness about it, then
there's easy to fall for them tropes because it's completely,
I mean, it's the same way they paint, you know, all rappers or
blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Now that just if you're falling
for that that means you don't really know wrap that.
Don't really know hip-hop. You're not a legit fan because
any legit person who understands the genre to be, like, yo,
that's some corny shit that you're saying, right?
Yeah. You still want a little bit, you
know, you're absolutely absolutely.
Remember, I want to see that one.
I think also what I love about these types of platforms is the
gain, it's like it's real sex worry, bring the real sex
element. Like I love seeing something.
I've talked about this a couple months or gosh probably like
years ago at this point but there was a director.
I was interviewing. And one thing I applauded them
on was the Fact that I thank you for showing a flaccid penis.
Get fully erect yo and then go back to flaccid I'm like that's
how sex happens y'all like that's how the Mechanics Work
exactly. Like I want to see it all.
I want to see you. Not be performative.
Like not all women want to be on top Sherry.
I don't know about you girl but I can't ride on top to me.
It's a death sentence to my titties, it really is.
It does laughing because I love with Gets on top of the aisle
top, or from the bottom. I don't see in porn very good at
all. And I'm always, like, why are
they hitting what's up in that way?
So it's like, yeah, it's different for everybody.
Always looking for something different, I agree.
I like it but, but not the way that you the way they normally
show it is what I love. I just love being underneath her
and enjoying the entire experience.
And then it's like, okay, how I cannot suck dick for it 2.5.
They hours late. Exactly, that's not realistic.
Why are people not using their hands as much?
Like, that's like, I love just like putting on some porn being
on the couch and just letting my magic hands.
Go to work and just let him Her just I love just like drawn and
out, bringing her to ecstasy bringing it back, teasing her,
making it amazing. And then he's like, okay,
because like, she's a, she can have multiple.
So, I just love being like, Oh really.
Let's like, let's, let's explore this.
Like, let's just take it all the way it just keep enjoying pores
right for that wonderful. Or even the audio erotica.
I are like, no, no, I could go a little louder than them.
Like we could go a little harder than.
Yes. Yes, I love that.
I love that. I also like, porn on the big TV,
with this, this surround sound. I'm like, I want to be immersed
in the pool. Action movie pause going to be
just even more surrounding. I love that.
Oh my God.
So what, what point would you guys?
You know, kids? Like you said you guys went
through the faith-based thing, at what point did religious
guilt? Leave y'all.
Or does it still linger? Because I was looking at an
article I found really fascinating.
I was like, I love, I love a good article where they're
really trying to say, like religion, taught me.
Everything I know about sex and Love but also there is a study
that showed that said came out last year in August on the New
York Post. But they basically said people
with strong religious beliefs have higher levels of sexual
satisfaction and this was done on the Journal of sex research
and so they surveyed people from 18 to 59 from various you know
denominations and I found it very interesting because I'm
like hold up, right? Y'all been telling us telling us
for years that if we have sex for gonna die that we need to
abstain from all, sexual goodness and wellness in the
world. So how the fuck you gonna tell
me in this study that we have the best sex life?
Yeah, being reprised exactly like that.
That math a method for me? It's still with us but I think
it's all it's way. Way diminished you like Without
saying maybe if it was gone, we also wouldn't
be still on a journey. We'd be like, where we want to
be. That's a good point, you know, I
love that. Where are you guys at your
journey right now? That is a good question.
Yes, somewhere in the middle. You know what?
Yeah, that's a whole nother conversation.
If you want to have his back, I'd love that.
Yes, I'm already. The wheels are turning.
Let me just say this because I really want to be back.
No, the wheels are turning because like I said, I feel like
I can talk to you guys for hours.
And again, it's like just to even get this little sample,
this little morsel, this little Thanksgiving dinner, if you
will, I'm like, you're really feeding my soul right now
because I love how you are really, just, you know, making
it very clear that I just because we left, something
doesn't mean that it doesn't still linger.
And, you know, the Fact that you all are thriving.
And I hope, you know, my one of my questions was going to be,
you know, have you seen a difference of you know, maybe
others, you know, following in your same footsteps and how do
you take those steps to kind of ease them onto a journey similar
to y'all's? I love that.
Quote, thank you so much for that question.
I hadn't even thought of that and Sherry and brought that up,
I don't want to steal the answer from you.
You'd burn up a while ago, how people have actually emailed us
and told us how much they've appreciated what we've shared
we've had and I won't you know put nobody Business on blast,
we've had people reach out and say that it's definitely helped
them and that was one of the reasons why we created this
extech and chill because we had started with a virtual event in
2020 as a way to give back to sex workers and performers and
stuff, right. As they left out of, they would
discriminate against to get the funding and financial support by
the government. So we said, hey and a big part
of that was sharise idea. She's like yo what can we do?
And then I was like, I wanted to, I wanted to have a A big-ass
event when she wanted to have an event.
I'm like, I'm always taking it to them.
Like, boom. Let's turn this thing up to 100.
Let's make this two days and 12 hours.
Wow! Wow.
Anyway, so we after that, we got a bunch of great response and
that kind of inspired to sex tech and chill because people
are like, yo, we would love to see more.
What you all would curate and information you would share
because we got so much out of your event and people were like,
yo and helped our marriage or it helped me or whatever.
And that was everything, especially because for years
prior I had been going to people's doors and like, sharing
the Bible and I'm sure fucking up relationships, although I was
trying to help people, I wasn't having that impact and to get
all this feedback from people that says I'm actually helping
them. Now that was probably the I
somewhat for someone who wants to be of service.
That was fucking huge. For me.
It's also why we started the fly.
Do a science project which is yeah, basically Telling all the
details of the shit that we've been through and that it is
better on the other side. And when we hear those stories,
it makes it easier for us to tell the hard Parts because
there's a lot of hard Parts. There's a lot of embarrassment
and shame and just nobody wants to tell their dirty secrets
especially when everybody thinks you're just a beautiful great
couple for this is nobody's perfect.
You know me. No relationship is perfect.
And that's very much we want to like show that in our story that
Not perfect, it's not always easy.
There are some really hard Parts.
Some really shitty Parts but there's some but the rewarding
stuff is just like so much better so much more rewarding.
Our relationship is better than it's ever been and we always
thought we were like best friends now.
We're just like even more. We're best friends who get to
talk about girls with each other and get to talk about guys and
get to talk about all these crazy things.
And I can just tell you all the craziest fantasies And you're
like okay word. Where are you like?
And then I'll tell you something.
Wow. Do you know I'll be like, yo
you're not reacting you like Ruben.
You've literally told me that like, 3700 kabillion times like
how can you tell me the same thing?
I'm like, well, I'm still excited here is fluttering for
y'all. Like a literally, I had a feel
my heart. I'm like, damn it, like started
swelling because I love hearing this.
I love reality is to we went from.
We didn't talk about any of that stuff.
Like if you were at all to try and share any kind of like
fantasy of anything outside of me.
Yeah, I was this like crazy jealous scary-ass person like
somebody you would not want to know, you know what I mean, but
to come from that to hear, that's why we do what we do
because it's possible. And hopefully other people don't
have to ever experience that if they learn young enough, which
is why we're part of the are Yes.
Porn conversation to because really people need to learn this
shit. You need to learn as early as we
start questioning things and start wanting to know about life
and sex and sexuality and all of that, we need to teach our kids
and you know age appropriate obviously.
But they need they don't have to go through this shit that we all
want. No.
I mean imagine if we could have avoided a lot of it.
I mean I can imagine we be right now.
That would be really, really dope.
That's what I've always liked. To my parents about, especially
my mom. She was a nurse for the new
earbuds in the, on the chat here.
She was a nurse for almost 40 years.
She just retired in November and she worked mostly in Pediatrics.
And so she would deal with a lot of, you know, women and young
children who were victims of, you know, sexual abuse or you
know, dealing with teen pregnancies and I was very
fortunate that At various stages of my childhood, she weighed
approach the conversation of sex, a little bit more in debt a
little bit more differently. So it's like I knew my body
parts, you know, by the time I was five six by the time I was
eight. It's like I'm looking at her
medical books. Maybe I'm enjoying some
pleasurable moments looking at some pictures of the Kama Sutra
from her old sexuality books. But it was also Never shined.
You know, if I had a question it was answered or was answered in
a way that was age-appropriate. And I think parents and even not
even if you are a parent, but if you have, you know, a child that
you take care of or you work with children, I think that all
these problems surrounding the insecurities of sex all the
religious guilt dealing with sex.
You could talk about sex in a faith-based community and
Stewart be respectful. Of the higher power and I put
that in in quotations because when you start cutting off that
education, that's where the rebellious stage happens and
that's why we have the problems that we have now, when you start
getting these things, this 100%. And I think that's where, like,
I was appreciative with my mom, because, like, similar, my mom
came out of healthcare as well. And like he wasn't anti-sex and
that's where like it was like this huge dichotomy at the
church, it was so rude. The right parents weren't like
that. The problem was, we were also
taught to listen and obey the church unconditionally without
question. So, like, it didn't really like
my parent. Like, I remember looking my
dad's big on educational. We had all these encyclopedias
and all of that. Like, this is pre internet and
all, you know, and all that. So I used to, I used to love go
to the encyclopedia the same way.
Like, what you said, hell yeah. It's that contradiction it's
like they want you to know. Yeah.
And they got to do it a certain way right on civility to the
church. Yep.
And then the church is telling them you know, how you can how
you it's so wild because I remember like being even like a
little kid in school and having a crush on this girl, she's like
my little girlfriend and my mom like, you know, had no problem
bring me over to her her house. Just a little innocent thing and
like hanging on you, cuz you just little kids, you literally
just play right field. Playing cars or dolls, or
whatever you're playing as a little kid.
But then I remember then giving like some talks from the stage
and then all that ended because like, you know, they'd say
something like are you a little kids getting together and do
they have crushes and now you can't have an innocent little
crush on another little kid because they they're saying it's
wrong. And I remember even I'm being a
little kid going through guilt with that be like, oh no, I'm
bad. I've it's just I feel so bad for
that little kid. I wish I could go back and say
yo little homie like you're okay, right?
Feel for you in the situation you're in is man.
Fucked up. But you you're okay, this you're
not, you know what I mean. But you know, it is what it is.
That's why we're doing what we're doing now.
So that we can kind of be that for somebody else and be like
yo, you're good. Like I understand, you want to
fuck that. Situation.
But you got two options. Like, this doesn't have to be
the only way you get through this.
I love that. I love that.
I think that's like the perfect excuse me.
The perfect ending in wrapping, you know, because again I love
how this journey for you guys is still ever so going, but also
that it has been evolving, you know?
And it sounds like you guys have really been in touch with, you
know, hey, We were, you know, we're past all the time but now
we can look back and say we're not repressed anymore and now we
can continue that work for other people who might be stuck in our
situation, if not worse and that's what this is all about.
This is why I love to bring people like yourselves on
sapphires are playing. So people know that they're not,
you know, alone essentially on their Journey, wherever that may
be. So, it's a bit.
Yeah. All right.
I just wanted to put you up really quick.
No, no, please. I just wanted to say to that's
partly why Why we're doing it now too?
While we're still in the middle of our journey is because we
know what it's like. We feel it.
It's very raw for us, still a lot of it.
So when we talk about it and we share experiences, we have that
we still carrying that with us. So we know what other people are
going through without having forgotten because even just in a
few years, we have forgotten some of some of the hard parts
and some of it. So in sharing some things as
we're going through the process ourselves, we feel like that's
more Helpful to other people because we can relate more to
what people are going through. Mmm.
While it's real and raw snaps on that one because I like see you
soon things like thank you and you don't ever have to apologize
for cutting me off. This is your time to shine and I
want to make sure that people like know that and recognize you
all really to the fullest with that said, where can people get
in touch with you? What's coming up next for you
know second chill fly Duo like what's coming up next for y'all
you can find us on Instagram. At x0 fly do or sex tech and
chill and then she's your girl. Sherry J.
Yo, big group, you can find us on LinkedIn and what is it?
Yeah, fly. Do or fly media Productions and
on Twitter. XO fly.
Do oh yeah. Yeah.
It's all the same and they second chill.com.
Yeah, we just launched the website where we're starting to
share articles and Lauren playlist and TV playlist, and
things like that, too. And we do still, I mean the
whole thing started with Want to have an event, but we want to
have a very particular pleasure Khan and we need money to do it.
So if some if Brands out there want to support us, call us,
call us. We've got so many.
We've got a massive vision and something new and different that
people haven't seen. And people want to get on board.
Let's do it. Otherwise we're going to have to
start small. Yeah we don't want to know y'all
need to be put on a bigger platform because again
Everything that you are encompassing under your
production under, you know the blanket of second chill.
Again it is a different Journey that I'm used to and that's why
I was like I got to get these folks on because There's a
space. There are people like
yourselves, who are probably listening to this right now, and
probably like, Fuck this. I'm ending the show right now.
I got to go talk to them. Like, I got to go connect with
them and find out what they're all about.
So Ruben and Sherry just truly truly.
Thank you. We're definitely got to get a
part to a part three of them for we're gonna have some more
discussion. Yes, please we've been wanting
to actually have this conversation for so long that
it's so much easier when people are asking us the questions or
sending us. The question.
So please do that to we want your questions.
It's so much easier for us to tell you what you want to hear.
Then for us to dig into this big ass purse.
That's a hot mess and figure out what to pull out and share in a
half an hour or an hour at a time.
Yeah. If you want to see this on video
to our YouTube is XO fly do and then we got the fly to a sex
project on there. It's at five talking to you is
so dope like like we are such fans of you, you don't even know
you just And that's the whole time leading up to this.
I'm like, because I've been re listening to like you episodes
and stuff. I'm just like you are the
perfect person to talk to, like this whole industry has been so
welcoming to us from sunny and Ken to Lola and all that.
And like you just like you just continuing this really dope
Trend like and I just admire I'm a big fan of you and I know
like, you know, you're not supposed to Fan out which it
colleagues and stuff that's supposed to be homies.
And I feel like, well, we can be a little bit of like we just
very much appreciate you, you just roll dope out what you do
and like we love you, radio voice and you just like, you
know, you just like you like you know, what's up, sexy
motherfuckers, I'm like Y'all just don't understand.
Like I needed to hear that there's transitions happening
and it just means a lot and it's folks like y'all that keep me
going. And that's why I was just love
having conversations like this. Just good honest conversations.
Unedited, you know, I hate going and doing interviews and only 20
minutes of that interview is used know.
The whole fucking hour is unedited, okay?
This is the best moments right here.
So again, please check out sextet, control.com follow.
I'm putting in all the links where you guys can stay
connected, but I am just, please go check out these folks.
Okay, they are up and coming. They are onto something big and
honey. I got to say, I got him first.
That's the first before we see him anywhere bigger than this.
Like, fuck that I got him. It's Going to continue.
So truly, truly just thank you, we appreciate you so much.
Thank you, really do. Thank you.
With that said earbuds safe. Sex is the best hot sex of
course. You can reach me at Miz radio,
Sapphire, Miss radio, syfy.com misery or software on Instagram.
No Twitter Sapphire zero play on Instagram and y'all are gonna be
bad but I'm not there will not be an episode on June 12 because
your girl is going to see the love of her life, Janet Jackson.
So with that said, we are taking a break.
We're taking a break and coming back a little bit later in the
month of June stronger, better than ever bring it on.
You know, some dope, sexy motherfuckers like, you know,
Sherry and Ruben. And so until the next time, good
night that was the show. All you sexy motherfuckers out
there. Remember to follow admins,
radio, Sapphire and sapphires are play on Instagram one, Samir
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