1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,560 Warning, the following program is not for the weak hearted, 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,800 those who are close minded or in general you're scared to learn 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,680 what's behind closed doors. Here at Sapphires Airplay. 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,800 I want you to pour the wine, grab somebody that you want to 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,880 hold on to, or better yet, get the vibration stimulated through 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,600 your body. Get ready for one Haloven orgasm 7 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:27,280 in 54321. What is up on my sexy 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,800 motherfuckers out there in Radioland? 9 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,360 It's your girl Sapphire. Another episode of Airplay. 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,120 Fresh at it and I am so excited. This fiery redhead. 11 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:40,080 You may have recognized her from the UK television show on 12 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,000 Channel 4. Great sex experiment if you 13 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,280 haven't. She's been featured on Mirror, 14 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,680 People magazine, Daily Mail, and so much more. 15 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:53,320 I'm talking about Doctor Laurie Beth Bisbee, a therapist, sex 16 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,960 and intimacy coach, author, speaker, and just all around bad 17 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,600 motherfucker on here and I am just so excited and truly 18 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,319 honored to have her on the show. You know what we got to do? 19 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,560 We got to welcome the rowdy frat boys to properly bring in Doctor 20 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:14,800 Lori Beth Bisbee. I bet you've never had an intro 21 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,840 like that before, have you? No. 22 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,800 So as you can tell Doctor Lori Beth, we are freely spoken here. 23 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,520 You could be yourself and I'm just truly honored to have you. 24 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,760 I, I feel like in my own journey into alternative relationships 25 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,360 and just getting to know, you know, my own self. 26 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,520 I have you to credit for as well as study Megatron 2 fiery 27 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,160 redheads of the alternative relationships and sex and dating 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,640 BDSM culture. I mean, I don't think there's a 29 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,440 piece of literature or any type of advice this column that 30 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:55,080 doesn't have you or her, if not together on, you know, talking 31 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,760 about these alternative relationships. 32 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,560 And I absolutely love it because, I mean, you're looking 33 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,720 at yourself. You are not the typical 34 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,400 therapist that we see. You know, you have this fiery 35 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,880 personality. You, you really just just shine 36 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,680 with it. And I got to say, over 30 years, 37 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,080 I believe you're now hitting almost 35, if not almost into 38 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:23,160 the 40s. 40 years of sex and information, just the evolution. 39 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:29,200 How do you do it? I mean, you know, I've been, I 40 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,960 just love what I do. That's how I do it. 41 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,880 I love what I do. I've been working with people 42 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,600 for 38 years now. And. 43 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,240 Yeah, I and I've done all sorts of different things and this is 44 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,320 a theme throughout the work that I've done in terms of working 45 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,760 with people to help them with sex and relationships. 46 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,640 At some points in my career less, at some points in my 47 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,920 career more. And now I spend a lot of my time 48 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,120 doing this and and I just have a fall. 49 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,320 I love what I do. I love it Now, being polyamorous 50 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,800 now, if I'm not mistaken, you kind of evolved into your 51 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,240 bisexuality because of polyamory, is that correct? 52 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,960 Nope. No, I was always bisexual. 53 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,880 Always bisexual? How did you just know? 54 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,960 Like right off the bat, you know, a lot of us kind of evolve 55 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,560 into a childhood. How did you discover your 56 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,680 bisexuality? I was just I because my 57 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,840 attractions really aren't about gender. 58 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,680 So I'm I'm using bisexual, but it's not really correct, a 59 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,280 correct use of the term. They're not about gender. 60 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:34,920 They have to do with the energy of the person and, and sexually 61 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,440 I, I like dominant people. So it's about that. 62 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,000 So, you know, I was attracted to the energy and then the, the 63 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,240 particular body they were in didn't really matter to me. 64 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,400 And that was always the case from the time I was small all 65 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,360 the way through. And so polyamorous was something 66 00:03:52,360 --> 00:04:00,360 that it took me a little longer to figure out how to do. 67 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,640 I mean, actually, some of my early relationships, some of my 68 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,960 best early relationships were polyamorous. 69 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,240 Then I got monogamous for a while, a short while. 70 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,480 Oh wow. And then I was back to then I 71 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:17,079 was back to being open it. It just made the most sense for 72 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:18,279 me. It worked best for me. 73 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:22,960 It was most comfortable for me as long as it was all above 74 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:23,360 board. I. 75 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,560 Love that. So that was that was the 76 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,960 important bit to me. I I can't stand being lied to 77 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:36,320 and I don't like to lie so. You know, I think we, you know, 78 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,800 similarly, I'm the same way. Like, please don't lie to me. 79 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,680 Details are everything. And I feel like especially in 80 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,560 alternative relationships, you got to work for it. 81 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,400 And I love how you have used that. 82 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,040 You work for it. You have to be trustworthy. 83 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,920 You have to be open. And I think for me personally, 84 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,880 the biggest annoyance as I'm, you know, getting ready to get 85 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:03,520 married, the biggest question that I absolutely hate that 86 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,440 people ask me is, OK, so now that you're getting married, 87 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,760 does that mean polyamory just goes away? 88 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:13,560 And I'm like, why would it? Why would something that created 89 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,160 the relationship and bond that I'm in just simply disappear? 90 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,840 Because now by law, man and woman are getting married. 91 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,080 Have you ever felt that same feeling? 92 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,640 And I think people that what people don't understand, I think 93 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,520 where you get that question from is that people think that the 94 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,920 baseline is monogamy. So there are a lot of people out 95 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,600 there that would call themselves non monogamous that are actually 96 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,760 non monogamous until they meet what they figure is the one. 97 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,120 So they're not really non monogamous. 98 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,920 What they're really doing is dating, which is what we did. 99 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,640 You know, I'm, I'm older, I'm 62. 100 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,960 So, you know, in my day, you know, we were dating and then 101 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,440 eventually we met somebody and we settle down, right. 102 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,000 If you were going to be monogamous, and I think so, a 103 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,720 lot of the people who identify as non monogamous who are very 104 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,680 young, many of them, and I've watched this transition for so 105 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:06,080 many people suddenly meet someone, fall in love and become 106 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,640 monogamous. And so for me, I would query 107 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,120 whether they were really non monogamous to begin with, right, 108 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,080 or really polyamorous to begin with, because polyamory is 109 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,200 different. Polyamory is about 110 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:22,640 relationships, whereas non monogamy can be relationship 111 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,200 sex. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's 112 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,360 the umbrella term. And so I would question that. 113 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:33,160 But also, I think we're very, you know, we're indoctrinated 114 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:39,800 into the idea of monogamy. And so, you know, we can have, I 115 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:45,440 call it a monogamy hangover where you can, you know, you 116 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,760 suddenly find yourself thinking in very monogamous terms, even 117 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,520 though you you've not been monogamous for some time. 118 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,680 So like, people get really uncomfortable sometimes people 119 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,280 are like, oh, do I need to get married? 120 00:06:56,280 --> 00:07:00,640 Do I need to live with somebody? What does it need to look like? 121 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,200 Because the expectations of society are still there. 122 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,440 They don't go away just because you decide to live in an 123 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,440 alternative lifestyle. I am so. 124 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,800 Happy expectations of society. I am so happy that you are 125 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,320 listening all this because literally this is the constant 126 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,080 conversation that I have with you know, folks is you know, 127 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:22,800 again, like you said, non monogamy is an umbrella term. 128 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,880 Then you have polyamory which is more involved in the 129 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,480 relationships. Now, I myself am trying to, I'm 130 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,720 a intimacy coordinator and one of the things that we talked 131 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,920 about were the relationship styles, breaking them down, you 132 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,280 know, in case for those who are on set may not understand. 133 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:45,600 And I think the biggest peeve, pet peeve for me in the industry 134 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,240 and especially working in media is how much we get polyamory, 135 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:56,600 polygamy, you know, non monogamy all into each other. 136 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,360 And it's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 137 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,520 There are separate entities of this. 138 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,640 There are people like myself and probably yourself who get 139 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:09,400 offended when it's not represented in the right way. 140 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:13,720 Not all couples, you know, want to be non monogamous. 141 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:18,800 There are people who might be in A1 sided polyamorous 142 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,600 relationship and all these different things and it's like 143 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,640 whenever the again, when it comes to the factor of marriage, 144 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,240 it doesn't just go away. It doesn't just go away. 145 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:34,640 Some people like myself, evolve into it, evolve into the idea of 146 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,799 marriage and have that one partner that they're like, you 147 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:40,880 know what, We can create a life together and still have our 148 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:47,640 other ABCD relationships. I mean, we started, my husband 149 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,000 and I, we started out non monogamous and we're still non 150 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,040 monogamous. But you're non monogamy does 151 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,520 change and things change. I mean, one of the things I 152 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,440 think people don't pay attention to is how much things change 153 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:04,840 with life, life stage, right? You know, I've spent a lot of 154 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,480 time recently talking about perimenopause and menopause and 155 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,720 post menopause and what that means and how that impacts 156 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:15,800 relationships. And so you know you can be 157 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,960 happily non monogamous and hit full blown menopause and 158 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,440 suddenly. Everything changes, yeah. 159 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,280 Everything changes. Everything changes because your 160 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:32,240 emotions are doing things. And so if you're emotionally up 161 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,720 and down and up and down, if you're really angry all the time 162 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,440 or you're, you know, you're really having trouble and you, 163 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,000 you and your partner are having more trouble communicating, you 164 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,280 may not want to be branching out at that point in time, or you 165 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,560 may not want your partner to be branching out at that point in 166 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,320 time. Another time that things can 167 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,280 often change is when you decide to have children. 168 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,320 It's not unusual for people to decide to nest for a period of 169 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,760 time. So they will become monogamous 170 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,560 for a period of time in order to set a foundation for a 171 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,520 particular task they're going to do, you know, building a life 172 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,200 together, raising children together. 173 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,560 And then once they are feeling comfortable and secure back in 174 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:13,320 their relationship again, they'll open up again. 175 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,920 So it's, you know, it's people think of it as a always think 176 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,800 about relationship styles as static. 177 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,920 And they're not static. Oh, just like we're not static. 178 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,320 Exactly, exactly. Oh my gosh, it's like you're 179 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,640 reading my mind because the only time that I could say that I was 180 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,240 partially monogamous was during quarantine, you know, 181 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:38,360 quarantining with my now fiance. I think it did help a little bit 182 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:42,320 as to getting the ring. We really did not think about 183 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,320 marriage, kids until we were actually nesting together and 184 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,000 still trying to balance out, you know, how do we date in this new 185 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,920 normal now that, you know, the pandemic is over? 186 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,960 And I put that in quotations because it's not over for 187 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,200 everybody. Yeah, it's not over for me. 188 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,920 I'm I'm immunosuppressed. So, you know, it's definitely 189 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,920 not over for me. Yeah, I and I put. 190 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,760 It it's over for some people, it's over for some. 191 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,120 People and I definitely put the emphasis on that because again, 192 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,040 I know like there are people like myself who are autoimmune 193 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:19,720 who do get sickly easily. I try to mask up myself and it's 194 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,920 like, I don't know about you coming out of the pandemic and, 195 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,520 you know, discovering this new normal, new energy to me is 196 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,320 still kind of like, I don't know. 197 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,600 I don't know if I can do it. I'm more careful. 198 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:37,120 I'm certainly more careful because also because of people's 199 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,760 attitudes towards things like masking and stuff like that. 200 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,200 I mean, for me, you know, in the Far East, they mask all the time 201 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,360 because they have this idea that they want to present themselves 202 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,520 getting diseases and they want to prevent other people from 203 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,280 being sick. And so it's not an unusual thing 204 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,320 if you ever travel, you know, and you see like Chinese and 205 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,480 Japanese people traveling, they are always masked from start to 206 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,480 finish, right? And that is been the normal for 207 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:04,880 them for I don't know how long, but like a long time, a long, I 208 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:09,520 don't ever remember it being different when I was aware of 209 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:13,680 them traveling. So but you know, masking became 210 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,560 a real political thing. And so people started being 211 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:20,680 really rebellious about it and rebellious about testing and 212 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,560 rebellious about being aware. We're in the situation in the UK 213 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,760 at the moment where we're going through a resurgence of COVID. 214 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,920 And there are two new strains that are they're really big here 215 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,080 that are more contagious. They don't appear to be more, 216 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,400 well, they don't appear to be more deadly. 217 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,240 Well, that's useful. It's a nice thing to know, 218 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,400 right? But they are more contagious, 219 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:45,720 right? And, like, people are so weird 220 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,080 when you're masking. I'll be sitting on a train full 221 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,880 of people, and there will be nobody else on the train with a 222 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,080 mask on their face. Yeah. 223 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,880 And I'm like, you're sitting six hours in close quarters with 224 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,760 people who are coughing and whatever and whatever. 225 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,360 Yeah. You must not care if you get 226 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,560 sick, right? It's great if you it's great if 227 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,560 you're young enough or you're healthy enough or both not to 228 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:10,440 care if you get sick. When I get sick, it's a big 229 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,560 deal. Exactly. 230 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,400 I'm fucking out for the count. I could be. 231 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:17,240 I mean, I can lose, you know, weeks trying to get myself back 232 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,160 together to be able to do my job, to be able to just be out. 233 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:25,200 So it definitely changed. I've, I had a surgery in in 234 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,080 April. I had a my foot and ankle 235 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,640 reconstructed because one of my autoimmune diseases screwed up 236 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,240 and my arch completely collapsed. 237 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,960 So wow. Do that or be in a wheelchair. 238 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,760 So I wasn't willing to be in a wheelchair. 239 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,560 So I've been recovering since April. 240 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,280 And because it's a, it's a long recovery, but I, I've spent a 241 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,160 lot of time, like not out and about. 242 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:54,560 Yeah, I went down to London for a week last last week and it's 243 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:58,440 like completely overwhelming to me, really the number of people, 244 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,760 the number just because I was, I was so, you know, I was so 245 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,440 separate, right, for that period of time. 246 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,640 And people's attitudes are just like, it's amazing. 247 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,840 I had somebody say to me, why are you wearing a mask? 248 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,800 I'm like, because I protecting myself. 249 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,400 I don't want to get sick. Right. 250 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,480 Oh my God. I can't believe somebody. 251 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:22,440 Oh my God. I mean, people, most people 252 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,840 don't say anything here because they don't. 253 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,480 That's the way they are. But occasionally somebody will. 254 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,200 And I'm like, first of all, why is it your fucking business, 255 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,480 right? Exactly. 256 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,120 I'm wearing a mask to protect me. 257 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,160 I could be wearing a mask to protect you. 258 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,200 I could have something really contagious, right? 259 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,200 And that's the thing. And I. 260 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,000 Could be wearing it. I'd rather you tell me that 261 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,160 you're sick so that I can prevent myself from getting 262 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,640 other people sick. Like I have to worry about a 263 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,720 parent who has, I have three family members at the moment who 264 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,560 are dealing with different stages of cancer. 265 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,320 So it's like I need to protect myself from them. 266 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,800 You know, if I'm sick, they can't see me and vice versa. 267 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:03,280 Then also, I have partners who are autoimmune or they have 268 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,120 small children, All these things. 269 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,880 It should matter, I feel like in this day and age in dating. 270 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,760 So I'm so glad that you're open about this, especially, you 271 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,920 know, being a sex therapist, being a public figure. 272 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:23,080 It's like people do need to understand that after the 273 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,400 pandemic, we do need to take even the littlest of colds a 274 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:31,680 little bit more seriously. The thing is, I lived through 275 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,360 the AIDS epidemic, right? And so, you know, there are a 276 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,160 lot of people alive today. Yeah, we have a resurgence of 277 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,160 HIV because people aren't paying attention. 278 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:46,280 And we're still, and I know people be like worse, but we're 279 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:50,120 still because we have effective ways of preventing HIV. 280 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,560 If you're willing to take lots of heavy meds. 281 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,000 I already take heavy meds. I wouldn't take Prep because I 282 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,640 couldn't add that to what I'm taking. 283 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,680 But so a lot of people are taking Prep, right? 284 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,160 And that's preventing. There's now going to be they're, 285 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,040 they're really close to a vaccine. 286 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,280 A lot of people are taking Prep, yeah. 287 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,920 That makes me very happy to know, very happy to. 288 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:16,680 Know very happy except that people forget that there's a 289 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:22,000 million other sexually transmitted infections that they 290 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:25,360 are like passing on because they're like oh I'm on Prep, I 291 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,200 don't need to use condoms anymore. 292 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,240 No, that's not the. I'm like. 293 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,800 Yeah. I'm sorry, this isn't how it 294 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:33,720 works. Yeah. 295 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,920 So it's there's there's this whole kind of, well, there seems 296 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,760 to be a lot of education out there. 297 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,760 It's really interesting to me how much education has been 298 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:48,320 lost. 1000%. Because the people aren't under 299 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,560 the pressure. Yeah. 300 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,760 And when you're not under the pressure, it's similar to when 301 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,640 people felt like society was more safe for this period of 302 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,440 time. They didn't raise their children 303 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,320 with certain awarenesses that they might need to have if they 304 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,079 were part of minority groups that they might need to have 305 00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:09,880 because they felt safe. And all of a sudden it isn't 306 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,800 really all of a sudden, but all of a sudden people are feeling 307 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,359 unsafe again. And they're having to kind of 308 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,680 change the way that they interact with people, the way 309 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,480 they speak with people and also the way they raise their kids. 310 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,079 And so it's fascinating to me because the same thing happens 311 00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:25,400 with disease trajectories as well. 312 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,560 It's, it's no different. People feel safe and they they 313 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,120 let their guard down and. Then it's. 314 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,960 Like, and I'm not and I'm in no way paranoid. 315 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:38,560 Like I'm, I'm, I'm somebody who's a balanced risk taker. 316 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,120 I like that. I mean, I've been different at 317 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,760 different levels of risk in my life. 318 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,800 When I was much younger, I was a crazy risk taker. 319 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,560 I stopped doing that, decided I wanted to live. 320 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,640 So I said, OK, we're not going to do that anymore. 321 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,640 And then for a little while, I took no risk. 322 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,640 That didn't last very long. And I got to this stage where I 323 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:04,080 balance risk and I, I risk assess all the time so that I 324 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,920 can relax and do what I want to do. 325 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,280 But we don't teach people how to risk assess when it comes to 326 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,960 relationships. We really don't. 327 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,880 They risk assess for work. They risk assess all over the 328 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,400 place. You know, if you're going out in 329 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,440 the city in the United States right now, before you walk out 330 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,440 your door, you're risk assessing what's going on. 331 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,880 Is there a protest going on? You know, are there police out 332 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,600 is ice out? What do I need to do in order to 333 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,000 make sure that I'm going to be safe? 334 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,200 But relationships, they don't fucking risk assess at all. 335 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,400 They do some stuff online, they go, they meet somebody, they 336 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,720 jump into bed with them. They know nothing about them. 337 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,000 Oh my God. And there it is. 338 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,440 And you know what? It's, it's such a witch hunt 339 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,960 because again, bringing all this, you know, full circle, 340 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,760 there's this trajectory that those who are part of 341 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,880 alternative relationships are disease carriers that we just 342 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:57,240 freely go out and, and infect everybody. 343 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:03,200 So let me let me tell you this. So this was on a very popular 344 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,920 black blog called The Shade Room and I'm sure it's been 345 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,520 circulating all over TikTok. But a middle-aged black woman, I 346 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,080 want to say she's probably in her later 20s or 30s, definitely 347 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:18,360 comes from a place to hurt. But she says that those who have 348 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:23,880 HIV, AIDS and herpes should be registered on the sex offenders 349 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,040 list. Jesus fuck. 350 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,320 Right. And so I was like, as soon as 351 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,720 you were just talking about, you know, everything that we're 352 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,800 talking about with risk management and assessment, I 353 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,720 don't think people understand the degree. 354 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:41,960 So Doctor Lori Beth, obviously you just reacted the way that I 355 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,160 hope. So what are your takes on that? 356 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,040 Because I know for me. I mean, I just think it's, it's 357 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,680 just disgusting. I mean, it's just disgusting on 358 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,880 the on the on the fucking sex offenders list. 359 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,480 Really. What offense are you committing 360 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,560 by having a disease? You know, The thing is when 361 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,760 people, when people knowingly transmit a disease without so 362 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,560 they go out, there have been people, there are people, a 363 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,240 small number of people who go out to infect other people, 364 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,120 right? They commit a crime by doing 365 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,120 that because they're deliberately trying to harm 366 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:16,120 somebody, right? But the vast majority of people, 367 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:19,680 when infection gets passed on, it's either because both parties 368 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,800 were careless or somebody didn't know. 369 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,720 It's very that's often the case. Very often. 370 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,640 It is, you know, it really sucks if somebody didn't tell you that 371 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,440 they had something and then you got it. 372 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,480 That really sucks. And yes, you can be mad about 373 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,120 it, but that's not a sex offense. 374 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,320 I agree. And we all have to take 375 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,840 something. We all have to take some 376 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,560 responsibility for ourselves. This is the part where I get 377 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,520 really annoyed because I my experience is that people don't 378 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,080 take responsibility for themselves. 379 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,520 They're really willing to point fingers at other people, but 380 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,960 they don't take responsibilities for themselves. 381 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,320 It isn't victim blaming to say that you need to take care of 382 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,120 yourself, right? I never understand. 383 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,680 Doesn't mean you won't. Yeah, you won't get hurt. 384 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,240 Doesn't mean you won't get hurt. Doesn't mean you won't get 385 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,000 victimized, but it makes it less likely. 386 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,160 I agree. I don't know, I it, it, it 387 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:17,920 confuses the hell out of me by asking to see someone's test 388 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,760 results. It's such a big thing. 389 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,600 It's like, don't you want to know somebody's history? 390 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,880 Like I, I don't even mess around with people that say, well, I've 391 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,960 been monogamous for, you know, 710 years. 392 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,000 You know, I've never had anything. 393 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:37,560 So you can trust me, but I need to see your papers because you 394 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:42,520 have, you know, 10 partners. I'm like, you do know that even 395 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,640 one partner, monogamous, non monogamous can give you 396 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,760 something? I mean, I have to tell you that, 397 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,640 you know, first of all, most non monogamous people don't have 10 398 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:57,800 partners right there, right? That's not that's not and and 399 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,600 only certain sections of the population. 400 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,960 If you're a swinger, you might have lots of partners, but 401 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,640 you're but you're also, if you're part of that community, 402 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,000 more likely to test more often. Exactly. 403 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,760 At least the modern form of that community, because everybody's 404 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,920 aware of what the what the issues are, right? 405 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,640 And because a lot of people in that community are married and 406 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,400 they're swinging together and they don't want to get each 407 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,840 other anything. So, you know, so there's a lot 408 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,160 more testing that goes on in that community than in the kind 409 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,360 of more general non monogamy communities where you get 410 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,600 different values and different things from people. 411 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,920 But as a, as a community, people who are non monogamous are much 412 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,080 more likely to go and test. And people who are monogamous 413 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:42,120 and stepping out on their partners or, or coming out of 414 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:46,440 monogamy and just starting to kind of dabble because you're, 415 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,480 you're hyper aware of the fact that that the, the likelihood of 416 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,120 getting a disease increases with the number of people you're 417 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,160 exposed to. That's simple math, right? 418 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,960 It's not about whether people are more likely to be carrying a 419 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,080 disease. It's just if you put more people 420 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,800 in my way, it's more likely that one of them will have something. 421 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,840 And what is it like One, it's like 3 out of five or one in 422 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:13,760 four people have herpes or some form of an STDSCI or will in 423 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,160 fact come across it in their lifetime. 424 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,120 It's not to say that it's not incurable either. 425 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,080 The thing about herpes though, is this that people don't 426 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,560 realize that, that you're more likely to run into a person with 427 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:33,000 oral herpes that then passes that on to your genitals because 428 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,280 they had the beginning of a cold sore and didn't think it was a 429 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:42,120 problem to have oral sex, right? So it's like, you know, if the 430 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:46,440 incidence of, of oral herpes is about 98% of the population. 431 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,480 So, you know, if you've got the beginning tingling of a cold 432 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,280 sore, you shouldn't be kissing anybody. 433 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,680 Can we please repeat that please? 434 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,040 Like, you know, I'm serious. The number of times people do 435 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,000 that, they're like, oh, don't worry about it. 436 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,040 I'm like, that's fucking contagious. 437 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,520 You do understand that's contagious? 438 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,200 The other people don't really think. 439 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,960 People don't realize is that herpes is a virus that stays in 440 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,080 the body. Exactly. 441 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:16,160 So and, and is all is related to chicken pox and shingles. 442 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,120 That's why all of us, once you hit the age of 50, they're 443 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,040 vaccinating you for shingles, right? 444 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,120 Because it's dormant. And sometimes it becomes 445 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,600 undormant. And shingles can be just painful 446 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,680 or it can be horrific. So, you know, these things are 447 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,640 really important where herpes is really dangerous. 448 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,440 It's like if you have herpes and you give birth to a baby 449 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,440 vaginally and the child can get herpes in their eyes, right? 450 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,480 It can be really bad scenes. So you need to know about these 451 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,400 things. But it isn't always genital 452 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,760 herpes that is the thing, like oral herpes in some ways I 453 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,680 think, I think feel like people with genital herpes are more 454 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,920 likely to come out and say, well, I have genital herpes, 455 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,280 right? And then everybody's like 456 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,400 careful around them and they're careful. 457 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,920 But people with oral herpes never say anything. 458 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,680 Never do. Your assumption. 459 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,160 Your assumption should be that the person you're talking to has 460 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,160 oral herpes. Absolutely, that should be your 461 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,000 assumption because the likelihood is they do. 462 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:15,120 And then you have to say, OK, if you're going to have oral sex 463 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:18,800 without a barrier, because you don't always know when it's the 464 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,160 infection is beginning, you're taking a risk. 465 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:25,000 And then if you, if you, if they, they transmit it to you 466 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,320 and you now have it on your penis or your vagina or your 467 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,240 vulva, then you can transmit it to somebody else's genitals. 468 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,200 You're not transmitting genital herpes. 469 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,920 You're still transmitting simplex 1, but it's on the 470 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,720 genitals. So it doesn't matter, right? 471 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:42,280 And and it that's how it goes. I you know what, I have to just. 472 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,800 Y'all, I've only been telling you this for years. 473 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,520 I hope that this fiery redhead finally got into your head to 474 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,800 explain because I am so sick and tired. 475 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,240 Especially, you know, being a black person of color. 476 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,960 It like being a person of color in general and just being a 477 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:09,640 black woman. It is annoying to me that I have 478 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:14,440 to continuously reeducate my own folks in my own community who 479 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:20,520 are so ignorant to the simplest and simplest infections, 480 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:25,320 diseases, risks. It's like you the saying that 481 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:29,160 you want to put these people who are on the sex offenders list. 482 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,360 I guarantee you most of the folks who will have an STD or an 483 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,240 STI like myself. I have genital herpes. 484 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,000 And do I tell every partner? Absolutely. 485 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,120 Are my partners, you know, comfortable with it? 486 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:45,520 The ones that stay are, and the ones who aren't, they've been 487 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,000 vetted. That's fine. 488 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,640 I don't need to be with them. They don't need to be with me. 489 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,160 But I'm not stupid. I'm not ignorant. 490 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,840 I'm not going to put my body at risk like I'm not going to put 491 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,480 your body at risk. The other thing is, this is not 492 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,720 only things like herpes, it's, it's simple stuff, right? 493 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:08,280 Things like watching people pass BV back and forth, bacterial 494 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,000 vaginosis back and forth. Bacterial vaginosis is not a 495 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,240 sexually transmitted infection. It is an infection that arises 496 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,160 for women. We're not sure exactly how. 497 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,280 I don't, right? I don't know what the latest is, 498 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,120 right? But last I looked, they weren't 499 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,480 sure exactly how it managed to arise, but it does. 500 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,440 But The thing is, is if you have sexual partners in common, you 501 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,320 can pass that back and forth. Just like yeast infections, 502 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,840 people try to say oh it's at least females. 503 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:35,400 Like no. You know, so, so it's all sorts 504 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,080 of things that are that like you just need to be aware of where 505 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,040 you need to be aware of hygiene, you need to be aware of the 506 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,920 state of your body. And it's just about being a 507 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,560 grown up. But because sex still remains 508 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,360 taboo no matter what anybody says, right? 509 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,640 Because sex for the most part in the population in the US and the 510 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,520 UK and various other countries still remains taboo. 511 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:04,160 People don't deal with this like grown-ups because they're still, 512 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,920 it's still all hush hush and we're not really going to talk 513 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,920 about this. Now with you being in the UK and 514 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,440 I have to say, I love, I love television in the UK and the way 515 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,760 that sex is approached because unlike America, it's less 516 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,520 censored, at least in my opinion. 517 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,240 I feel like it's very less censored. 518 00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:27,080 It is less censored. It is definitely less censored 519 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:33,280 than it is in the US, but the attitudes, the actual attitudes 520 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,720 towards stuff are not. Oh, let's get into that, please. 521 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,840 So it's less censored in that like you know, we did Open 522 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,000 house, the great sex experiment I did the first two seasons. 523 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,400 I'm not in the current season. I can't talk about that. 524 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:48,520 I haven't. I haven't watched it. 525 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,120 I have not either, I've only watched the seasons with you. 526 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,600 Thank you. But that was a big deal, right? 527 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:03,280 That we did this, this show, we did this show where I do the 528 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,600 therapy part, I'm not involved in the sex part, right? 529 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,160 It's got nothing to do with me. But like one of the one of the 530 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,000 episodes they decided to have an orgy. 531 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,440 So it was a 15 person orgy. Now they are not showing hard 532 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,240 penises, they're not showing open legs, right? 533 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:24,520 They still, they blur, they do camera so that you're not seeing 534 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,360 it, but you are certainly seeing more of the sex when you're not 535 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,680 seeing. Yeah, way more than you would in 536 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:37,840 the US But like when that came out, I was accused of of single 537 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,440 handedly trying to bring down the institution of marriage, 538 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,560 right. No. 539 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,000 And wait, if I'm not mistaken, I think in this particular orgy, 540 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,880 because there's see there are a couple episodes where orgies are 541 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,440 involved, but I think with this one, wasn't it, it was either 542 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,200 the husband or the wife. Somebody weighs like a teacher, 543 00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,920 you know, one of them like somebody worked with children in 544 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,160 particular. Because I think I do remember 545 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:08,840 this episode very well where I think the husband kind of left 546 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:14,280 the scene and left his wife to her own pleasure, which is fine 547 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,600 because that happens over stimulation and whatnot. 548 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:21,120 But I think I do remember that episode in particular was 549 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,240 getting criticize for what you said, you know, breaking the 550 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,640 sanctity of marriage or why are we letting people freely fuck on 551 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:33,480 camera like it's called the great sex experiments. 552 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,320 Right. So I mean so even though I mean 553 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,360 so. And yet we have a we have a show 554 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,040 called Naked Attractions. Right. 555 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,120 Where you know, for those people who don't know what this show 556 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,560 is, basically you start seeing from the bottom of the of the 557 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,400 body up before you choose a date. 558 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,400 So you don't get to see their face until you choose them or 559 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,240 you or you or you eliminate them. 560 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,760 Right, right. So you see people's naked 561 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,680 genitals long before you see their face. 562 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:07,560 And to me like that. And so that's that's auk show to 563 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,720 me. I'm like, but why? 564 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,480 Wait, I'm over here like that would never fly in the Americas 565 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,480 because already people are going to say you're objective find the 566 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,440 body. This is wrong. 567 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,160 Like come. On and yet I mean, and even and 568 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,080 in this one you do see penises, right? 569 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,240 Because often you don't see penises, but in this show you 570 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:29,440 do. See penises, and they're mostly 571 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,400 because you're not. Seeing erections, Right, Because 572 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,480 you're not seeing erections, the erection is the problem. 573 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,080 Problematic bit, right? You're not seeing erections, 574 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,640 you're just seeing penises. Crazy. 575 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,320 But I just find it like so, so on that on those, when you think 576 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,800 about those sorts of things and these sorts of shows this year, 577 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:52,200 this year's new show was Virgin Island where they took, you 578 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,960 know, they took these, these people in their 20s who were 579 00:31:54,960 --> 00:32:02,720 virgins and they had a sex coach and A and a surrogate and some 580 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,280 other stuff. And then they, you know, tried 581 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,720 to get them to have sex. I've seen it. 582 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,000 I've seen some of that. I've seen some of that. 583 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:17,000 I was asked to comment about the professionals and which was an 584 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:22,400 interesting situation because like there were some things that 585 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,360 I was like, I don't care what kind of professional you are, 586 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,000 you wouldn't do that, right? But there are other things where 587 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,760 I had to. I was going to say, do you 588 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,960 think, pardon, I was going to ask you, were lines of consent 589 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,680 kind of drawn? Because when I think of Virgin 590 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:40,040 Island, I feel like that's like anything that surrounds virgins 591 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,600 trying to deflower them on public television. 592 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,520 Always wonder about the consent basis. 593 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:50,240 So for your standpoint. I mean, I, I mean, I think, you 594 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,280 know, I think the people who came on the show really did want 595 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,600 to lose their virginity. And, and, and, and there were 596 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,880 just as many guys as there were, there were more guys than there 597 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:02,280 were girls, right, that were losing their virginity, 598 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:09,840 obviously, right. But I think I think that some of 599 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,840 the the stuff with the surrogate was really cool really because a 600 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,280 certain because it was, but because it was explaining what a 601 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,560 surrogate's job is and a surrogacy is not is something 602 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,160 that is frowned on in this country. 603 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,120 Yes. Whereas surrogacy in the US is 604 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,160 more regulated and less frowned on. 605 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:27,960 I think it's really sad that it's frowned on. 606 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,560 I think there's there's real value in sex surrogates for 607 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:37,040 certain people who who find it impossible to have a partner in 608 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,840 cells would do well to meet a sex surrogate, right To go see a 609 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:47,080 sex surrogate as therapist. I agree of what they instead of 610 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,200 what they do, which is all kinds of maxing to try and get 611 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,840 privilege that they're not getting because they can't get a 612 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,680 partner. I mean, there's a lot of things 613 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,400 that that surrogates can do that are that when they're regulated, 614 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:02,560 that's great. I agree, where I had the issue 615 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,480 was with one of the coaches, not the surrogate because I felt 616 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,120 that the bound the boundaries was from the bit that I saw the 617 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,960 boundaries were really blurry. Gotcha. 618 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,639 I was like. You know, but yeah, so we have a 619 00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:16,000 show. You know, we have this just the 620 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,960 new big show is the Virgin Island, right? 621 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,280 So we're having a show where we're showing virgins losing 622 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,639 their virginity. And you know, and, and I mean, 623 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,159 you could never have something like that in the US It's just 624 00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:29,040 not, no. So in that way, in that way, one 625 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,960 would think that we're more open, but we're really not. 626 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:36,440 I mean, the attitudes aren't. It's it's just very interesting 627 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,600 how sex on the UK spectrum versus, you know, the US. 628 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:45,000 One thing I always have forever quoted is the difference of the 629 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:50,560 show Skins versus when the Americas MTV bought the rights 630 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,600 and said they were going to launch their own version of 631 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,440 skins and skins. If you are not familiar guys, 632 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:59,360 you can look at it on the UK version, at least on Hulu last 633 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:05,640 time I checked. But it used underage actors, you 634 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,600 know, portraying real sexual situations. 635 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:14,480 And I mean everything from drugs, sex, alcohol, addiction, 636 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,880 death. These kids lived it all. 637 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,480 And later on, some of the famous stars, Jack O'Connell from 638 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:24,320 Sinners. And then we have Nicholas Holt. 639 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:29,240 He's from the X-Men movies. They have all spoken out and 640 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,920 said, I wish that we had an intimacy coordinator. 641 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:37,280 I wish that my parents maybe, you know, tighten the grip when 642 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:42,440 it came to the fact that we were enacting in simulated sex scenes 643 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:46,240 as teenagers. The consent culture was kind of 644 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:49,640 blurred with that show. But at the same time, I was 645 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:54,760 watching it, saying, finally there was a show that portrayed 646 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,640 the dangers of being a teenager. And it didn't matter where you 647 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,200 came from. We all related to these 648 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,400 characters, but we didn't think about the psyche of those adult, 649 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,480 you know, those young actors and as they go into their adulthood, 650 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,920 what it could have done. So it's very interesting how sex 651 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,440 culture it is kind of different, you know, that we portray it on 652 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,800 screen or, you know, we throw in child actors and whatnot. 653 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,520 So it's very interesting how the culture in the UK is a little 654 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,040 bit loosening to that. Not as much anymore. 655 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:31,040 I don't think I've seen such a controversial show sense skins 656 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:37,600 after it ended, but you know, still we talk about it in 2025 S 657 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:42,840 because of the impact it made. I mean, I, I, you know, it's, 658 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:51,800 it's everybody is, is, is, is more, is tighter now, you know, 659 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,320 and, and unfortunately what happens is that people like to 660 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:59,720 rewrite history with their own lens and which is problematic. 661 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:05,080 You know, it's really problematic the way that we, 662 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,000 when we talk about pedophilia and when we talk about grooming 663 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,840 and things like this, like the number of times I see people 664 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,480 online talking about grooming and oh, she was groomed because 665 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,080 she was, you know, 18 and he was 22. 666 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:23,160 I'm like, no, no, they're peers. They're peers, right? 667 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,360 He was 60 and she was 18. Yeah. 668 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,400 OK, you know, yeah, but they're peers, right? 669 00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,440 And, and this whole infantilizing of young people 670 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,760 that happened, which I find fascinating. 671 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:45,400 I grew up in the 70s and you know, I hit 18 in 1981. 672 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:50,520 Oh wow. OK, so, yeah, so I remember when 673 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:55,600 I was like, and I, you know, I can tell you the the situations 674 00:37:55,600 --> 00:38:00,560 from my growing up years that where adults took advantage and 675 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,880 I can also tell you the situations where I took 676 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,920 advantage. Wow. 677 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:12,960 You know, teenagers do not have no knowledge, no desires and no 678 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,200 ability. They don't make good decisions. 679 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,880 That's why we protect them, right? 680 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,600 Because they don't make good decisions. 681 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,320 Absolutely. But they don't go. 682 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:26,440 They don't suddenly blossom into having all these skills in their 683 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,240 20s. It doesn't work that way. 684 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,280 So unfortunately, we don't have a lot of nuance in our culture 685 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:38,320 right now. And so people either basically 686 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:43,640 allow talk about it as though adults should, you know, 687 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,640 children should be able to consent and adults should be 688 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,480 able to do what they like on the one hand, which is 1. 689 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:53,240 And on the other hand, it's like, oh, you know, any more 690 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:58,000 than two years between age of between a relationship makes 691 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,560 for, you know, something that ought to be on the sex offenders 692 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,800 register. And it's like, OK, like there is 693 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:09,480 actually nuance here. It's so it may, there's just so 694 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,080 much that you've, you know, said in so little time. 695 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:18,640 It's like I, I have to ask this because this is the biggest 696 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:23,600 thing now, you know, the active, the culture of consent and the 697 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,800 fact that, you know, we're hearing that Gen. 698 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:34,840 X is a little bit more awaken to sexual desires or just in 699 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,920 general sexuality. They're a lot more open than we 700 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,680 were. I mean, I couldn't imagine being 701 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,280 11-12 years old and coming out and saying I'm trans. 702 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:50,800 That was remotely I, I could not even think about sexuality the 703 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,880 way I don't even think I sexually peaked. 704 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:58,360 Like I knew about masturbation. I knew about, you know, my, the 705 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,040 consent culture of like, if somebody approached me and 706 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:05,680 touched me inappropriately, say no, call somebody, say 707 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,680 something. But now you have, you know, 708 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:12,560 teens that are growing up in society now they're wondering 709 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:17,040 about their orientation, their relationship styles, they're, 710 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:21,480 you know, talking about gender dysmorphia or, you know, just 711 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,440 not feeling like themselves. And then how dare we? 712 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,400 In the US, kind of govern that and say, well, it's an act of 713 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,440 perversion or they'll change out of it. 714 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,480 Where do you stand if you know? We have some. 715 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,120 I have. Some I have real issues with 716 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,960 identity politics, which sometimes people are really 717 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,200 surprised, surprised about. I'm not. 718 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,960 Huge issues with identity. I'm not huge issues with 719 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:52,960 identity politics because it locks people into into something 720 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,880 and doesn't allow for evolving. And people do evolve. 721 00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:59,960 Some people know they're trans when they're young and they, 722 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,720 they, they, they know they're trans, they stay trans, they 723 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:04,560 continue to grow and they're still trans. 724 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,360 Just like some people know they're non monogamous, some 725 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,840 people know they're bisexual, some people know they're gay. 726 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,400 But there's also a lot of experimentation that happens 727 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,080 when you're a teenager and into your 20s. 728 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,520 And, you know, people have to figure out how their bodies 729 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,200 work. They have to figure out what 730 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:29,640 they like, what they don't like. And so if you identify into a 731 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,200 group and that becomes your friend group and that becomes 732 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:37,040 your reason for being, then if you decide that that's not for 733 00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:41,160 you, you don't just give up that sexuality. 734 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:46,600 You give up your entire set of identities if you come out as 735 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:50,320 trans, we can use that because it's the more obvious one at the 736 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,440 moment. But if you come out of trans, 737 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:56,560 say at 11 years old, and you get hooked into a system, and I'm 738 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,080 not talking about getting medicalized or anything, leave 739 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,440 all of that aside. I'm just talking about the 740 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,080 identity politics. You get hooked into a system. 741 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,000 All of your friends are part of the LGBTQIA, right? 742 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,240 Everybody is talking the same things, They agree with the same 743 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,360 things. All the social media that you 744 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,960 see, your whole feed is exactly the same. 745 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,520 Your politics are decided by that. 746 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,000 Everything is decided by these identities. 747 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:27,920 So you're 11 there. By the time you're 18, you don't 748 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:33,880 feel the same way, right? Let's say maybe by the time 749 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,840 you're 18, you're like, maybe I'm gender fluid, right? 750 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,480 I don't really want to change. I don't really need a label. 751 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,920 I kind of like my body now. That's how it is. 752 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:52,920 But if you stand up and say that you're walking against 753 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,760 everything that's gone before now, what happens if you decide 754 00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:05,640 that actually you're male or you're female now and that you 755 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,960 don't want a gender? Like to to have one of the 756 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,800 gender identity labels, right. A box to put yourself in. 757 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,400 Or you decide that actually you're straight. 758 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:21,480 You're no longer part of an LGBTQIA community because you're 759 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,800 straight now. What? 760 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,600 Yeah. And so, you know, I have huge 761 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,080 issues with it because we've made identity everything. 762 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,920 We really have. And so, at least in my day, 763 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,520 although the negatives of that were that people weren't 764 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,680 recognized, they didn't get the help they needed, they didn't 765 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,520 feel free to be who they were in various places. 766 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:49,040 But the reality is, is that we we did have a freedom, which was 767 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:54,720 the freedom to explore and the freedom to take our time and 768 00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:56,720 with more information that would have been great. 769 00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:58,320 We didn't have enough information. 770 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,160 But what we've got now, I don't think is the be all and end all. 771 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:05,720 I actually, it really, I see so many people, so many young 772 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:12,360 people caught in this thing where they're like when, when 773 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,080 politics started to amalgamate and, and bigger identity started 774 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,440 to amalgamate. Now we've got people who are 775 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,800 like, but this is my sexual identity and my gender identity, 776 00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:26,840 but my politics are here and my ethnicity is over here. 777 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,040 And now I'm not allowed to be part of any group. 778 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,560 So now they're isolated, right? It's like that makes no sense. 779 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,800 It's it's a little scary. It's a little scary. 780 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,440 I was talking with a friend of mine from the Netherlands and 781 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,320 it's, you know, we agree. It's like, why do we force 782 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:45,840 people to come out straight? People don't have to come out. 783 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:50,360 Why is there's this like force culture that I got to know your 784 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:52,680 identity right then and there? It doesn't matter if we're 785 00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,760 sexually involved. I have to know to, you know, to 786 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,960 protect myself. And it's like, wait a second, 787 00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,640 what are you protecting yourself from? 788 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,880 What did that person do? Think about, there's a thing 789 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,560 about if I want to be loud and proud, then I should be loud and 790 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:08,920 proud. But there are people who don't 791 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,040 want to be. It's just like, it's just like I 792 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,920 do these this talk called the Psychology of Finnish and Kink, 793 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,160 which I've been traveling the UK and Ireland with. 794 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,520 I did it, you know, for a couple of years. 795 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,160 I've taken a break now, but I'll go back to it. 796 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:21,480 I love doing it. It's a lot of fun. 797 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:27,960 And I'm like, there are people who are kinky that don't, that 798 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,000 don't belong to any group. Yeah. 799 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,720 You don't have to be part of the community. 800 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:36,840 Just because you discover you're kinky does not mean you have to 801 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:41,680 join a community and adopt lots of ideas that go with that 802 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,200 community. You can be quietly kinky all you 803 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,040 want, right? You can be quietly kinky with 804 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,200 your partner. You can never go to a club, 805 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:54,040 never go to an event, never go, you know, to A to a parade and 806 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:56,320 and be kinky. You can be non monogamous and 807 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,280 your group can never go to any of these things and nobody would 808 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:00,840 ever know. And there's nothing wrong with 809 00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,080 that. It doesn't have to come with a 810 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:09,000 public identity and this kind of pressure on people to say to to 811 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,040 pick a side. It's always about pick a side. 812 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:12,160 I. Hate it? 813 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,320 You must pick a You must pick a side. 814 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,560 There's a thing going on in the therapy community at the moment. 815 00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,640 You must pick a side so I know if I'm safe with you. 816 00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:22,400 You should be able to tell if you're safe with me by talking 817 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,920 with me. My God. 818 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,560 Right, like I'm not going to declare you every identity I 819 00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,040 have, right. And, and, and part of that is 820 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,840 about not wanting, you know, wanting to be an example if you 821 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:40,080 don't have to list all your identities, I'll tell you who I 822 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,720 am if you ask me, but I don't feel like it's, it should be 823 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:46,400 necessary for somebody to kind of list all these things. 824 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:50,720 Now maybe you want to see a therapist who's like you that I 825 00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:54,960 get that makes sense. But I work with people who are 826 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,880 not like me all the time. And it should be that way. 827 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:00,920 It should be that way I. Work with people. 828 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,280 I work with people with every ethnicity, every race, every 829 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:09,680 creed, every nationality, every sexuality, all the time. 830 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,440 And you're not. I'm happy to work. 831 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,080 I was going to say, you're not. You're not pushing anybody with 832 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,440 your practices to say like, you must be this. 833 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,160 And I think that's also the problem. 834 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:23,680 Like people think because we identify a little differently, 835 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:27,560 because we see relationships a little differently, we're just 836 00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,960 going to impose it. Like I don't expect any family 837 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:35,600 members, any friends of mine to be polyamorous, to understand 838 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,360 me. That is just a small factor to 839 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,560 who I am as a person, as an individual. 840 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,880 I was, I was found it interesting that, you know, like 841 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,560 when, when I was doing the show, 1 of the big questions that was 842 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:51,480 asked in the media and, and just like I would be asked, you know, 843 00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,680 do you think this is best for all people? 844 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,400 I'm like, no, this is best for me, right. 845 00:47:57,720 --> 00:48:00,120 I don't know what's best for you until we work together. 846 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:01,560 Then we can, you can figure it out. 847 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,440 I'll, I'll help you figure it out by asking you the right 848 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,880 questions, but I won't tell you what those answers are because 849 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:07,640 I'm not you. Exactly. 850 00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:12,000 For some people, non monogamy is the most amazing thing. 851 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,880 For some people, non monogamy is help. 852 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,240 It's not better. It's not worse than monogamy. 853 00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:20,240 They're a pros to monogamy and they're a pros to non monogamy. 854 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:24,440 They're a cons to both as well. And it really is about learning 855 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,840 how to explore yourself and make decisions for yourself. 856 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:28,880 And then you can find the group of people that you're more 857 00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,840 comfortable with. Do I socialize with people more 858 00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:33,360 like me? Absolutely. 859 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:39,480 You know, I have a, these days, a rather small Group, A rather 860 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,440 small, tight group of people around me. 861 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:46,640 And we share some, some crucial characteristics about the way 862 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:50,240 that we live. And we like being around each 863 00:48:50,240 --> 00:48:52,040 other because we don't have to explain as much. 864 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,600 We're comfortable. But there are still people 865 00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:59,000 within my group of people I'm close to that don't live like I 866 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,720 do. I know there are people that are 867 00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:03,680 non, that are monogamous, you know, there are people you know, 868 00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:08,920 but it's the more confident in who you are, the easier it is to 869 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,800 branch out in that way. But it also gets tiresome. 870 00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,560 I get tired of answering the same questions over and over 871 00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,680 again. I bet, I bet. 872 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:18,680 That's why I mean. It's like. 873 00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,120 I wanted to make sure I was like, I'm not going to ask her 874 00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:26,080 all the same things, you know, like if you want to know people. 875 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:31,040 Have to be 1 of the things we talked about before before we 876 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,000 came on was about. I've been talking recently about 877 00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:37,000 having separate spaces, living in separate spaces. 878 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,800 Yes, when you're married. And so my husband and I have 879 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:44,560 separate bedrooms. I would have had from the 880 00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,040 beginning, I say this, I say I would have lived in separate 881 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:52,080 houses if I could have afforded it and that now I'm quite happy 882 00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,000 living in the same house. But I love having separate 883 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,720 bedrooms. I have my own bedroom, my own 884 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:58,680 bathroom, that's his own bedroom and his own bathroom. 885 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:00,640 And it doesn't. Mean if you're a woman and. 886 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,200 It doesn't mean you don't love yourself. 887 00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,400 You're less right. No, no. 888 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,480 I mean, you know, I'm going to be sexist for a minute. 889 00:50:08,720 --> 00:50:11,600 I, I would be hard pressed to find a woman who wouldn't say 890 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,560 that she would prefer that she had a bathroom that was separate 891 00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:19,560 from any male partner, right? I say, I have my own bedroom. 892 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,520 People don't necessarily jump up and down. 893 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,880 I say, I have my own bathroom. They're like oh damn, I'm so 894 00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,240 jealous. Honestly that is I I love having 895 00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:31,240 now 2 bathrooms because it can be for a second his and hers. 896 00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,280 Even though in our master we have a his and her side, it's 897 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,720 nice to to know that he can go to 1 and I can go to the other 898 00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:38,960 and I don't have to see it all the time. 899 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:43,960 We all know what we're talking. About I really like, I really 900 00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:48,320 like, yeah, but it's not negative for our relationship. 901 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:53,360 It's positive and it can be. You have to make more effort to 902 00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:57,840 have more intimacy. When I haven't been, well, it's 903 00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,800 been harder because I'm not downstairs in the common area 904 00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,680 sitting and interacting. I'm in my own space. 905 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:09,440 And so it becomes harder to spend as much time together. 906 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,960 But but you, you can easily do it there. 907 00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,520 There are ways of doing it. And then when you do want to 908 00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,560 have sex in any way, shape or form, you come together for 909 00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:20,320 that. You don't just jump up and go to 910 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,080 separate spaces. You know, you cuddle for 911 00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,320 whatever long you're going to cuddle. 912 00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,120 And then you do go to separate spaces. 913 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,680 There you go. I when we were when we had the 914 00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:33,320 same bedroom, I don't sleep well anyway for variety of reasons. 915 00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:38,600 And he snores. It doesn't work out that way. 916 00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:45,840 You know, there were there were times where he went and slept on 917 00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,200 a on a couch. I because he loves me, right? 918 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,160 He did that. I wouldn't have told him to do 919 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:54,320 that because the couch is fucking uncomfortable, but 920 00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,720 because he was like, you're working in the morning, you need 921 00:51:56,720 --> 00:52:00,120 to get some sleep. So we don't have that problem 922 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,120 anymore. I also now keep my own schedule. 923 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,640 We have vastly different schedules. 924 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:09,840 He's up at 7:30 in the morning. Give me the option. 925 00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:15,800 I'll sleep until noon. I'm up at 3:00 AM, right? 926 00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,960 And he's in bed. And he's in bed. 927 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,680 And so, you know, it's just, but there's also the thing of when 928 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:27,360 you have your own space, it's a place you can retreat to, to 929 00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:32,800 gather yourself. And that's so much more 930 00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,240 important in a long term relationship than people think. 931 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,840 And I'm, I'm seeing more and more of this of, you know, 932 00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:43,040 couples that are together, but they're living separately, 933 00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,200 whether it's sleeping in a different home altogether, 934 00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:49,360 sleeping in separate bedrooms. I don't find it weird. 935 00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:54,840 I think it's like, hey guys, sleep is important, sanity is 936 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:59,200 important. Maybe, just maybe, separation 937 00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,800 makes the heart grow a little bit more fonder. 938 00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,880 It doesn't mean that your relationship is is doomed 939 00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:08,160 because you want separation. You just don't need to live on 940 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,520 top of each other. I like that idea. 941 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,800 I totally agree with it. We did. 942 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,840 We evolved into living in the same rooms because because 943 00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,400 people weren't, we weren't rich. People weren't rich, right? 944 00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:24,080 If you look at wealthy people in the centuries going back, they 945 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,880 all have separate spaces. Oh my. 946 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:30,040 God, yes, and nobody called their own bedroom and nobody 947 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,920 questioned it. I mean, perfect example, gone 948 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,880 with the wind. You know, for years as a child 949 00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,240 it didn't. I did not put it two to two 950 00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,280 together because unless if you're like a die hard watching 951 00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,440 it over and over again, you don't really realize that Rhett 952 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:48,680 and Scarlett did not live. They did not sleep together 953 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:53,760 until they, you know, the night of passion or sexual assault. 954 00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,080 However you want to view it in that lens. 955 00:53:56,240 --> 00:54:00,200 That's a whole different topic. But again, in the South, that 956 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,760 was a tradition. You see it in English culture 957 00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:06,720 too, that there were separate quarters when the Royals we get 958 00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:08,560 together. If you had money though, right? 959 00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:10,960 Only if you had money. Only if you had money. 960 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,280 The Royals? They never always slept together 961 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:16,200 either. No, no. 962 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,640 So I so. It, it, there's, there's 963 00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,240 something about having that space when you can and it is a 964 00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:24,840 luxury. It is, you know, I mean, the 965 00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,760 first two houses that we live together in, we didn't have that 966 00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,520 luxury. We didn't have the extra space 967 00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,840 when we moved in this house. We did. 968 00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,880 We didn't originally plan it this way when we moved. 969 00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,040 It just evolved this way pretty quickly. 970 00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:43,000 And then and then I said to him, listen, I would like to keep it 971 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,360 this way. Are you OK with that? 972 00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,040 And he was like, and he thought about it. 973 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,200 And in the beginning, I don't think he liked it very much, but 974 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:54,640 he very much understood that for me, for my sanity, in order for 975 00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:58,560 me to have the physical energy that I needed, that I was 976 00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:01,680 sleeping better when he wasn't next to me. 977 00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:03,480 And it wasn't him. It was anyone. 978 00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:06,720 I don't sleep well with anyone ever have? 979 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,040 Only in the first six months of a relationship. 980 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:10,840 Right. The first six months of a 981 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:14,880 relationship, yeah, I manage. But after that, I never sleep. 982 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,600 I'm the first person to go. OK, thanks for the cuddle. 983 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,200 I'm moving over. Go away. 984 00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,880 Oh my God you and my girlfriend are very similar. 985 00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,600 She's the same way, like when she's sleeping, if we're in the 986 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:29,600 same bed, it's like she's on her side and she just stays on her 987 00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:33,480 side and I'm over here like somebody cuddle me, bleed. 988 00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:37,520 Yeah, I know. Like I like don't touch me once 989 00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:38,520 I'm asleep. Yeah. 990 00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,280 So whenever we go on holiday, it's always an adjustment for 991 00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:42,520 me. Oh man. 992 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,240 When we're on holiday, we're we're in the same bed, right? 993 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,360 But it's always a readjustment for me. 994 00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:51,640 But but I think, you know, I think after a while he actually 995 00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,840 got used to it. And I was like, actually, I like 996 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,280 having my own space. I like being able to have 997 00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,240 whatever I want on in the background on the television or 998 00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,480 noise or music and not having to have whatever you have on to 999 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:08,400 deal with your tinnitus, right? I like being able to have my 1000 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:12,360 space be orderly in the way I want it and not have to, you 1001 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:15,520 know, and, and so, you know, I recognize it as a privilege that 1002 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:20,400 we have enough space to do so space to do this. 1003 00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,560 So I recognize it as a privilege, but it's also one 1004 00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,200 that adds positivity to the relationship. 1005 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,680 Now we're not raising a young child anymore. 1006 00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,720 There you go, right? Which is part of the reason that 1007 00:56:32,720 --> 00:56:36,320 we have the extra space because the bedroom in the house that 1008 00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:40,160 was his, which is now the guest room because he's living in the 1009 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:45,200 Casita Outback, right? So when he was living in the 1010 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,560 house with us when we first moved here, that meant that we 1011 00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:50,800 wouldn't have a guest room if my husband slept in the other. 1012 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,640 Room, right? But now, because my sons moved 1013 00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,120 to the casino, we've got a guest room and we've got you. 1014 00:56:56,600 --> 00:57:00,640 Have your space. You're just like, I'm over here 1015 00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:04,800 like this sounds so ideal because I feel like as much as I 1016 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:09,120 love my fiance and you were talking about perimenopausal and 1017 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:13,320 I'm over here taking folic acid, trying to prepare my body for a 1018 00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,600 baby. I get hot so easily. 1019 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,640 There are days where I'm like, maybe we should just sleep 1020 00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,560 separately. But then I'm just like, no, no, 1021 00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:23,160 no, I miss his body. He misses my body. 1022 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:26,440 But who knows? As we, you know, grow to grow 1023 00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:30,120 all together, things may happen, things may change. 1024 00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:35,240 Wait till you're pregnant. Doctor Lori Beth, I might have 1025 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:40,440 to like call you and be like. Hell, I did not miss and I was 1026 00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:44,120 pregnant with my a different person, but I did not miss. 1027 00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,720 I told him if he came near me I would kill him. 1028 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,840 So that was really easy. Oh, I didn't touch me. 1029 00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:56,040 I found that whole process really difficult. 1030 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,280 Oh my goodness. It was just like just you just 1031 00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:00,000 stay over that. You want to do something? 1032 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,360 Rub my feet, they hurt. Other than that, go away. 1033 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,320 Don't touch me. I hope they were. 1034 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,440 I hope they were a service sub and, you know, just glad you're 1035 00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,680 like, willingly like, yes, Oh, no. 1036 00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,000 No. No. 1037 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:16,040 No, no, I know it was. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't a 1038 00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:19,280 good relationship. I mean, pregnancy was OK, We got 1039 00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,640 through that, right? We had the baby, but it wasn't 1040 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:26,120 it wasn't a great relationship. And he's like the baby's grown, 1041 00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:30,080 he's 23 and he's amazing. Oh see, you do not look like you 1042 00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,000 gave birth to a 23 year old, Blake. 1043 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,280 Come on. I gave birth to a 23 year old 1044 00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:39,560 when I was 39 years old so. Goals. 1045 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,880 Come on. 62. And looking fine as ever. 1046 00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:44,960 Looking like fine wine with that red hair. 1047 00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,240 Doctor Lori Beth. Oh my goodness. 1048 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,920 I feel like I can talk to you for hours, as I always tell my 1049 00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,000 guests. But you guys make it so easy. 1050 00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,520 Now you have a couple things coming up. 1051 00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:59,240 In fact, I think we were briefly talking about it, but you're 1052 00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:03,000 going to be on court TV dealing with a very interesting case. 1053 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:08,360 I'm going to be on supposedly tonight, so I'm going to be on 1054 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:15,960 court TV tonight dealing with the case of the Only Fans model 1055 00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:23,040 Who had a DDSM session with a with a client and and he died 1056 00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:24,920 and she's been charged with second degree murder. 1057 00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:26,440 So. Crazy. 1058 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:29,680 I'm, I'm gonna, yeah. So I'm gonna be on, I'm gonna be 1059 00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:33,040 doing that other stuff that's going on. 1060 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:38,560 I'll probably be doing some more online stuff, some more online 1061 00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:44,560 lectures. I am revamping my podcast. 1062 00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:46,720 We'll see. I'm record. 1063 00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:49,440 I'm recording somebody else's podcast. 1064 00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:53,320 It's a video podcast, but it's not my episodes aren't out yet, 1065 00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:55,760 so I'll just keep I have to keep stomach about that. 1066 00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,040 Hopefully I'll be doing some more television soon. 1067 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:02,880 I really had a lot of fun with open house yes self seeing 1068 01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:08,240 clients and traveling. I love it a bit. 1069 01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:11,640 And you can. So I mean, I had a bunch of time 1070 01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,600 where I was, I was, you know, much more low key because the 1071 01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:18,000 recovery from this thing kept me in one place for a very long 1072 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,000 time. I'm only just out back doing 1073 01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:24,000 things physically again because it's taken quite a long. 1074 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,560 Time. So now we got to get you back, 1075 01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:27,640 as the kids say, outside, outside. 1076 01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:31,840 We got to get you outside well. Yeah, I'm, I mean, I'm starting 1077 01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,440 doing that. I'll start touring again in the 1078 01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,760 new year. It won't start until February 1079 01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:40,480 'cause I'm gonna be away in January and the beginning of 1080 01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,640 February. Let's all start touring again in 1081 01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,280 the new year and hopefully end up doing some West Coast dates 1082 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,440 these days soon. Definitely be keeping tabs on 1083 01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:53,840 you and people can follow you at Doctor Bisbee on IG correct? 1084 01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,880 It's Doctor. On IG it's at Doctor Bisbee. 1085 01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:04,320 OK, and then it that's at Doctor Bisbee on X and then on TikTok 1086 01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:06,960 it's at Lori Beth UK. Perfect. 1087 01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:10,000 And we'll make sure to put that in the bio of this episode so 1088 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,640 you guys can reach out to her, check out all her glorious works 1089 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:17,160 and keep tabs on that nice, nice podcast. 1090 01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:19,400 Doctor Lori Beth, I have to say thank you. 1091 01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:22,000 Thank you so, so much. Got to bring you back, 1092 01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:26,040 especially after this case. I mean, I'm already like the 1093 01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:29,120 wheels are turning and I would love to, you know, get your take 1094 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,240 on some of that that's going on right now. 1095 01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:35,000 But it has been such a pleasure and an honor, truly. 1096 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,160 Thank you. Thank you so much for having me, 1097 01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,720 it's been great. Oh yes, and remember everyone, 1098 01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,280 that safe sex is the best hot sex. 1099 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,520 We will be going on hiatus, but be on the lookout for a very 1100 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,840 special horny for horror episode. 1101 01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:54,080 We're going to be dissecting Sinners versus quick the Oh my 1102 01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:57,360 gosh, I'm blanking on the name Horny for horror will be doing 1103 01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:02,840 Sinners versus Oh my God, I'm blanking out on the name. 1104 01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:06,000 Well, let's just say it's another movie that people have 1105 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,640 put in comparison and I'm blanking out on the name 1106 01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:11,040 Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez film. 1107 01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,000 But you know what I'm saying? It's coming up soon, so be on 1108 01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,840 the lookout. Remember that safe sex is the 1109 01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,680 best hot sex. Follow me at Miz Radio Sapphire 1110 01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:23,720 that's MSRADIOSAPPH, ire.com and on Instagram. 1111 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:29,360 Until next time, good night. That was the show all you sexy 1112 01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,960 motherfuckers out there. Remember to follow at Miz Radio 1113 01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:34,680 Sapphire and Sapphire's earplay on Instagram. 1114 01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:36,640 Want some ear gasms of the past and future? 1115 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:40,280 Make sure to follow on Apple Podcast, Spotify, iHeartRadio 1116 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:42,040 and all streaming platforms.