As you know, our customary charge for a hysterectomy is
$500. We shall have to charge her
$2000 because we're taking Green Stamps.
Yes or no? Helbert, I don't understand you,
but you speak it to English. This is my sister-in-law.
My wife's sister? Yes.
That's usually the way it works out.
Practically my own flesh and blood.
I love her. If you really loved her, you'd
get another doctor to operate 1868 stamps, door slams.
What? During my tenure here, that door
has been slammed in anger 1867 times.
Yours will be the next number, and I won't disappoint you,
Hofnagle. The.
Listen, if he defends this to the hilt, then I'm going to
punch him up the bracket. Yeah, come on.
There's nothing redeeming in any of this.
Well, I there there are some things.
I think there are some. Anyway, we'll wait till we get
into it, but all right. OK.
All right. So, so I'll just say hello and
welcome to Goombod. My name is Tyler Adams, and
while my finger don't get no rest at home, I can safely say
I've never had sexual problems with my nose.
But can my guests say the same? It's Jeremy Lim and Paul
Litchfield. Hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello. Sexual problems with the nose.
Yeah, that's one of the least offensive moments in it in the
film we're talking about today, which I'm sure will come on to,
Tyler will introduce it properly in a second.
Yes, I will. But I just I wrote this intro,
obviously quoting lines from the film, and I've completely
forgotten the context of why my finger don't get no rest at
home. Oh, it's the it's the bowling,
It's the bloke who's bowling. No apparent reason he's got.
Oh yeah, for no reason at all. He's got his little figure in
the splint. Yeah.
But, but it's. But you're right, it doesn't
make any sense, even beyond that, he said.
Oh, he's got his finger in the splint, but still, why does that
mean he doesn't get? There's an awful amount of Why
does that in in this film? When he climbs down the side of
the. I know.
Building. It looks like it looks like he
jumps off, but then he's suddenly just in the window
underneath. I mean that I have ATV guide
reviewed this in 1972 in America and this is the this is how they
reviewed it. They said if you hate doctors,
Mexicans, homosexuals, blacks, females, Catholics, Jews,
Italians, the Japanese hospitals, the Poles and
humanity, you'll love this movie.
I I'm just looking at my notes here.
Out of the 1st 9 words that I wrote, four of them are
terrible, vile, grubby, and grim.
Yes, yes. Right.
Oh, listeners, what can this great film be that we're going
to talk about today? Well, we will get, we will get
to that. But first of.
All. It's Kez.
Kez 2 Kez again. Yeah, Kez 2.
This time is personal right. But listen before we before we
get on to that I want to, I want to to properly introduce you so,
so, so Jeremy, yes you've you've got a bit of a swagger you
notice. I don't know.
You could see that over the Internet.
Well, I can. I can sense that you've got a
bit of a swagger. You've very recently been
appearing on the Old on the television, haven't you?
I have Saturday night BBC One, 7:00 PM prime time.
Prime. Time strictly.
Yeah, strictly Doctor Who. Strictly Doctor Who and I was
saying before we get before we started you you're quite high up
in the billing. But then you pointed out that
it's because you're what, the first character that?
Basically basically the same thing happens to me in The Death
of Stalin cast list. I I don't even have any lines,
but I'm very early on in the cast list because you can see my
stupid face very early on. Is that how they why they people
cast you? Because they think you're very
good at the beginning of things. Yeah, because yeah, I think so.
I. Don't a niche.
Also because my name near the top of the cast list is
obviously exciting and so. Well, it's gold.
It's it's gold for me, I tell you that much.
Yeah, it's gold. But no, but you've been in the
the, the, the much talked about Beatles episode.
Yes, I didn't have anything to do with The Beatles.
I'd point that out of. Course you're carrying on what
is is now a long, a long line of limbs involved with with Doctor
Who down the years. Well, your dad at least.
Exactly my dad. Yeah, there you go.
My dad was composed of music, as I probably may have pointed out
on this podcast already. I'm not sure, but he used to
write incidental music to Doctor Who in the 80s and there was
already a discussion online about is this the first son of a
composer to appear in the programme?
And then someone managed to find out that no, I'm not, There's
already happened. No Benjamin Son Varos.
I thought you. I thought.
I thought you were going to say like Sarah Tchaikovsky.
Yeah. Of course, yeah.
I don't think Tchaikovsky wrote music for Doctor.
Or did he? Or did he?
I mean, did you get some amazing bit?
Richard Rodney Bennett wrote a score for Doctor D and the book
Who Wrote the The Cappettina from The De Hunter Wrote the
Diddy. Yeah, John, John Williams.
No, no, he played the guitar of it and.
Jeremy, did your dad? Did your dad do Turlo's theme
in? Diddly, diddly, Diddly, Diddly,
Diddly, diddly. Did you do that?
I think no. I think I don't think I did.
I think that was either Paddy or or.
Or Oh yeah, it. Was Paddy or Pete Pad or Pete?
Oh, it was one of the peas. One of the peas.
Yeah, it. Was one of the two peas.
Because I think that was in Mordren Undead, so.
It was, yeah. Yeah, sorry, this is not a
Doctor podcast. PO.
Yeah, what? What?
What telly have you been on lately?
Nothing. Shut up.
I'm in Warhammer Online and I'm huge.
That's that's good. That's right, isn't it?
Somebody's doing it. Exactly.
Yeah, it's pretty good. Something to do.
That's literally what war is that the is that the tagline for
Warhammer? There's something to do?
It what is somebody doing it? Yeah.
What number? Something you're doing.
It I'm I'm going to China on Saturday.
Oh, of course you are. Oh, really?
What for? Oh.
Don't oh for for business and pleasure.
Oh, really? Yeah.
OK. Yeah, it's.
Going to be. Lying.
You should do it. You should do a podcast, you.
Should you? I should do it.
Well, I won't be able to because they have no form of social
media reenact. The Goon story.
China's story? I'm doing that.
I'm doing that on the plane, mate.
Street of 1000 dustbins. Air China Air China have
insisted on that. Are you are?
Doing that, Yes, Sir. We are pong till 11:00.
I've just done a Chinese accent because I know.
You did, and that's on you. Oh.
There's too many uses of the word.
That's not the word, that's. Lunning and fiendish in that.
Oh well, that this is also mentioned in this film.
Of course, yeah. Isn't he?
He's Japanese there. And.
That's Shiboto. Yeah, he's a damn fine actor,
isn't he? Fucking hell.
Now that that is what it says on IMDb, fuck it.
Hell the. One thing is, have you seen
there's one woman that that gets treated at one point, the one
who decides not to have a hysterectomy and go and buy
colour telly instead? Yeah, with a green.
With a green. It's like Green Shield Stamps,
isn't it? Kind of.
I've seen her in loads of things.
But oh, she's in so much, yeah. But no one else apart from
Sellers. I I don't.
Oh. No, no, we got Harold Gould.
You've seen him in The Sting and.
I would see. You He's a lot of early Woody
Allen films. As well, I see the sort of
distinguished no? No, no, He's the he's the he's
the city. Doctor Who doesn't know what
he's doing. Yeah, that's what I mean.
He looks distinguished. He's got great.
He's in. Herman.
Something.
Doctor Zerny. Yeah, Doctor Zerny.
Yeah, no, you're right. You're absolutely right.
He is at least the presence of some kind.
Yeah. Although you can't always
understand what he's saying. No.
There's no. Well, that's the thing.
Because we watched. We.
OK, hang on. Shall we just say?
We should say what we watch, Really.
Everyone still thinks we're talking about Kez, So.
Kez 2 the. Kez 2 Yeah, the hatchlings.
Kissing Kez. We'd only be talking about Kez
if one of the goons was in it, and I don't remember Harry seek
him. No, no, he should have been, but
you know, he'd be a. He'd be a blump pigeon, wouldn't
he? As the Brian Glover.
Oh, that's true, yeah. So we're talking about a Peter
Sellers film. Where does it hurt from 1972?
Yeah, which, which I have regularly lambasted, Yeah.
And and and and have said that it is the worst Peter Sellers
film of all time. You stand by that?
You, you stand by that? I stand by that.
Interesting. Interesting.
I mean there is there's there's quite a bit of competition, but
it's a serious contender, I'll give you that.
Well, Peter Sellers plays hospital administrator Albert T
Hofnagle. I think that's how you're
pronounced. Hofnagle.
At Vista View Hospital and, and as Roger Lewis puts it at Vista
View, illness is there to be cosseted, coaxed, invested in
and and Hofnagle is a hospital huckster.
Yeah, he is indeed. He's always looking for the next
easy buck to be exploited out of otherwise healthy patients, or
any rube unlucky enough to stub his toe on the curb outside.
It does say at the beginning of the at the top of the movie we
have this awful theme country and western.
Theme but it's but it's but it also suddenly then becomes
slightly military. I know it doesn't.
Quite know where it's. Going because the music keeps
coming back. It feels like the titles go on
for about half an hour. Yes.
Well, my my first note was this looks like I'm watching like an
episode of The Golden Girls or different Strokes.
It's like I'm watching the beginning of a sitcom.
It's really washed out. Yeah.
I mean, I don't know. That's the quality of the.
Well, I mean, I thought it was. It was just like ATV.
Exactly, yeah. And it then says based on a true
story. Yeah.
But doesn't it also have some sort of we dedicate this to all
the hard working real doctors out there.
Stand up, all three of you all. Three of you, yeah.
Legally, I think they probably had to include that I.
Think that's the funniest joke in it?
Oh, no, there's I've got a I've got.
There's, there's one joke. I think that's quite funny.
A couple maybe? Two or three maybe.
Well, I was saying to Paul before you joined us, Jeremy,
there's one sort of a gag at the end that made me titter, right.
And we can isolate that and we can put that and examine it.
And put that in the Hadron Collider.
Examine what happens. Yeah, but it was made on a shoe.
I mean, it was basically. No, you don't say.
Made for $600,000, right? And Sellers and writer,
director, producer. Rod Amato.
I think that's how he pronounced his name.
They they financed at 5050 and took equal share of the profits.
His name is Amato. Amato.
Amateur. Yeah, amateur.
You sure that's not an Alan Smithy for the 70s?
It might well, no, because he was former son-in-law of George
Burns. Oh God you devil.
Former son-in-law. So he got the.
Former son-in-law. Yeah, OK.
But do you know he was a more of ATV writer and director, right?
No. And you, you can, you can.
It's all there on the screen. But some of the some of the
programs he was involved with my mother of the car.
Oh, yes, yes. What do you don't know?
My mother of the car do. You know?
Do you not know about that? No.
Never heard of it? No.
It does sound great. It sounds.
Really good. 1960s sitcom This guy's mother at the beginning of
the series. I don't know.
She dies or whether she's hit by a car, I'm not sure.
But she dies. But she's reincarnated.
There's a Ford Mini, Ford Mini car.
That's a car that killed her. Bang Bang.
But I presume he gets inside her and drives her around and solves
crimes and. Oh, my word.
Wow. Yeah, that sounds amazing.
That does sound amazing. High concert.
You must be tired, Go to sleep in that boat, that sort of
thing. Yeah.
I don't know why she's no English woman, but she is.
Oh, I always get like this when I need some petrol, they.
They do like prop gags where the car's somewhere knitting.
This will suit you, this is. But mum, it's a car wash your
knitting. It's an exhaust.
Yes, I'm exhausted too. That's the end.
That's the end of part. One the end of every show.
The last line. Yeah, you're driving me crazy.
There you go. No, he did a lot of those sort
of high concept sitcoms from the 60s.
Like Mr. Red. Oh yeah, And the like, you know,
hang. On So there's a pattern here,
isn't there, Mr. Ed? The talking horse.
My mother's a car, my uncle's a penny that lives in my brain and
rotates the skin. It's just like the love medic
grandpa from The Simpsons. Isn't it?
It is really my second cousin's a cloud.
That's. Yeah.
I'm talking talking of The Simpsons.
Only speaking pastor. What?
Talking of The Simpsons, Huffnagle is is is a name that
gets used in. Do you remember oh, what's his
What's his name? The ACT.
Terrible actor you may Remember Me from.
Oh, try. McClure.
Try McClure. Try McClure any oh does.
He comes briefly successful, but then he's he turns down the
successful turn in his career where he gets to cast him.
Yes, McVeigh, the Fantabulous Contradictions of the.
Treasure T off Nagel. Yeah, that's.
Right, yes. That's amazing.
Obviously you become a byword in lack of quality.
And Sellers is using the same voice he does in that awful
song, Gefranc. Oh yeah.
Did you kiss your mother's booby?
Yes, I did. So Ruby, doobie or whatever.
He says he's using the exact stuff.
American voice. It's not a convincing American
accent. It's really, it's really wobbly,
isn't? It it's quite wobbly, yeah.
You are about to join the ranks of the unemployed, and before
you get a reference out of me, you may whistle Dixie through
any orifice of your choice. I didn't buy the film
immediately because the very first shot is him walking down a
hospital corridor and it's carpeted in green.
And I'd spent. He wouldn't walk down a green
carpet. It wouldn't in 1972.
That's true. So that's the end of that thing.
Hang on, it's scuppered not. Because of his.
Yeah, because of his mass superstition, especially Green.
Green was his big, I thought. It was purple.
But both. Rules out a lot of things.
Rules out West West Ham, for one thing.
Yeah, he hated hated UKIP. Yeah, what?
There's one thing going through he.
Hated eating aubergines and courgettes in the same meal?
Yeah, he hated it. As I say, it was low budget.
Yeah. No.
And and because because Sellers was partly financing it.
Oh God, he didn't. I didn't.
Realize that. He didn't want any, any
unnecessary shit, Like rehearsals?
Sure. OK, Yeah.
He just wanted to get it made. You know, I sent you chaps the
because we were originally going to watch it on YouTube and it's
a terrible YouTube. Load.
Of it, but I sent, I sent you another, better version,
whispering cleaner, slightly cleaner.
And but one thing I picked up on it was a it was curiously
sanitized in the sense there wasn't any swearing a film in
1972 you'd you'd expect there was even coy references to
things like going to bed with someone.
Yes, they they they would. They would.
It was weird. Is it?
Was it a cut version that you sent us?
Do you? Know.
Well, I think it was because because in the in the Lewis
book, yeah, Lewis, you know that bit in the film when Hofnagle is
being fired. Yes.
Or attempted an attempted firing I.
Should say. And he's and he's trying to
appeal to the board throw himself at the mercy with a sob
story about his unhappy childhood and he says and and
Lewis quotes in the book that he says even as a child I was not
well liked. My mother paid other kids to
play with me. It is simply that I'm cursed
with a shitty personality. But in the film that we watched,
it just says it is simply that I'm cursed and then it cuts
away. Yes, but there's room for a
director's cut of this film. Well, the director's dead, but
yeah, in theory, yeah. Yeah, I I won't know how much
was cut. And and the director of this is
like called like Hermes the delivery company or something
isn't it? Or.
Dave, amateur amateur who also he directed a film.
He directed a film in the 80s which is considered to be the
worst film ever made. Brilliant.
So he's got 4. Called the Garbage Pail Kids
movie. Oh, the Garbage girl kids movie.
Have you seen that aware of it? Yeah, I've seen that.
That's brilliant. Right.
The best film ever made. He also made a film called Son
of Hitler. I have no idea what that could
be about. Son of Hitler You can see here
Son of Hitler. You can sort of see why Sellers
may have been attracted by him, in which case.
Yes, absolutely. True.
He was eccentric and fun. True and talked about Hitler.
And talked about Hitler. Which of course, yeah.
So they sort of loved. Touchstone, isn't it?
For yeah, absolutely. Him and Fred.
Him and Freddy star, Yeah. And Stan Boardman.
Yes, Stan, Bob as well. And the sound of this is awful
as well. And it's like the boom, boom
mics are on the street. It was really bad.
Now another thing Roger Lewis says, or I think it's Roger
Lewis, someone says that you can see boom mics a lot.
Like, I couldn't really, to be honest.
No, that's no A, it's Roger Jacorsi and B, there's there's
no boom. No, I didn't see any boom mics
at. All I didn't.
But then it was a It's not a crystal clear.
No, that's true. Copy that we had.
That's very true. Quite muddy.
Yeah, I've written my first sentence is terrible.
Washed out Milky film stuff. Yes, I think there's a working
title of the film as well, that was.
Yeah, terrible. Watch that.
Yeah, the movie. So I mean dare we even try and
attempt to sort of like think of what the.
I mean the plot is plot. It's just the guy comes in with
nothing wrong with him and then they decide to tell him there's
everything wrong with him to. To make because they're charging
him. Because the whole point is to
yeah, to make money. The tone of the film is is set
right at the beginning, right at the outset, because there's you
see Hofnagle striding down the hospital corridor and then this,
this slightly old elderly nurse tells him that a patient died in
one of the rooms at 11:15 AM and Hofnagle says right.
He says something like the hospital Ledger day begins at
noon. Yeah, I think you mean 12:30 PM,
nurse. Yeah.
So in other words, change the time of death because that way
the the patient was occupying the room for another day.
Exactly. That's, that's quite, that's a
decent, you know, Yeah, that's decent.
Of conceit sounds more like it's a hotel, so we charge you for an
extra day. You know, and they zoom into the
title of the name of a place to sort of establish where it is.
They do that twice, twice. Quite quick succession.
Just in case you forgot you. Guys have forgotten where you
are. It doesn't leave the hospital.
You're never anywhere else, but it doesn't.
Go. Anywhere.
Administrator's office, I suppose.
There's always and and everybody that goes in there, obviously
they're getting charged for every little thing.
Yeah. And you see you, you see at the
bottom of the screen that that like a running total of what
they're having to be charged, what they've been.
Asked for, and in case that hasn't rammed home enough, they
give you a little tilt ring ching.
Speak Speaking of ramming home. A proctological examination in
1972 cost $35. Yeah, that's not bad, is it?
That's all right. That's all right.
That. God, I wish you'd lived in 1972
in America. I would have had.
I would have had 10 proctologies.
Exams a day. Hey, 10/4.
Oh God. 10/4, so that's 10, four.
That's this sort of, dare I say catch phrase or whatever it is,
it's just good 10/4. 10-4 and Spano expense my dear 10410 four
10410 four 10/4. I think it's like.
ACB Radio, CB Radio Trucker. Thing, isn't it?
Thing. Yeah, saying over and out kind
of thing. Yeah, like like Smokey and the
Bandit. Go Smokey on your tail 10/4,
that sort of thing, yeah. But why?
I mean, because there's no no other reference to him being.
It doesn't fit with his character, really, because his
his character is slightly OCD. Strong.
It is a bit, it's a strong word. But I mean, he's he's like a
sort of OCD bureaucratic money grabbing hypocrite, really.
Yeah. But where's this ten 4th?
Well, because it's because it's the final line of the film, and
I won't spoil it in case people want to watch it, but it's the
final. Oh my kidding, It's the final
line of the film. Maybe they sort of got that and
worked backwards. They said we need, we need it to
be, we need a catch phrase that's kind of over and out and
it's current. Was it particularly current, or
do you think it was a newfangled thing?
Yeah, I think it was. In 1972, probably, yeah.
OK. Thanks.
Of course there was a lovely joke there because obviously the
nature of this operation, which you will get to at the end, you
should have said 10 four, you should have said like 7, three,
the nature of what they were doing and that would have been a
good gag. No, but it wouldn't have played
in Peoria though. No, it would not have played in
Peoria or Pretoria or Peterborough.
No would have, no would have played there.
Oh, would have played there, sorry.
But nowhere else. But nowhere else.
So yeah, so he's a guy who's obsessed with earning as much
money as he can by hoodwinking patients into thinking that
iller than they believe. But I do think there's a weird
he's because, I mean, it's difficult to know how much he's
planned about his performance sell as those.
Very little. I'm sure you're right, and he
seems to float in and out of scenes really.
Literally as well. He sort of dances in between
tables, isn't he? He never runs.
But hastens he doesn't run. He hastens.
Exactly. There you go.
Yeah, but he does have this sort of slightly OCD because like, he
keeps counting how many times the door's been slammed in his
office and things like that. Yes. 18167 people slammed his
door during his tenure. Why is he counting that?
Is that just well? Because he knows the amount of
times people are coming in to off a chagrin at his door.
I suppose it's really weird because the first half an hour
of the film, everyone else seems to be in on the ACT.
Yeah, we're all making money. Ha ha ha.
They talk about all the bonuses they're getting and yet then you
get these doctors having conferences going.
We need to get rid of this man. And you go, well, why?
Yeah, they turn turn on him for. It's totally for no reason at
all I. Suppose it's because Hammond?
Is that his name? The big Dell bloke?
Epstein. Epstein Hammond Exactly.
No, Epstein's a patient. No, but there's a place.
Oh yeah, Hammond's Epstein. His real name is Hammond.
Is that? Right.
Yeah. Because at one point they he
goes to have a medical and they give him unnecessary and they go
you need to stay to hospital and we're going to change your name
to Epstein and he's sort of like.
OK, right. Yeah.
And then also, why does he stay there?
He just stays. There all the time.
Why do you we just go. I'm.
I'm leaving now. Because then he wouldn't be
party to a comedy circumcision at the end of the.
Oh God, that's. That we don't see the the now
you don't see what happens. It's so dark that that if you
because they're all pest as well.
There are many films that end with a bunch of pest doctors
giving someone a circumcision. Yeah, pouring whiskey on on his
head. Of course he cares too.
Yeah, because of that. Yeah, Keszening.
Well, they circumcise a. Kestrel.
It's bloody difficult to do, actually.
Yeah, bloody hard, actually. It's often.
So it's just ridiculous. So he goes in.
There's nothing wrong with him. This this Hammond Epstein bloke.
Well, that's weird because it sort of flirts with It's almost
a bit like Brazil or something when when they get his name
wrong and he can't, he can't get his name back right again.
That's what I was thinking, yeah.
Satire. Yeah, but he really, he really
could. He just has to go.
My name's not Epstein, but he's on chooses not to do that on the
way. By checking into the hospital,
he checks out the secretary's bum.
Yeah, and she loves. It and she goes.
I'll thank. You, you've made my day.
Maybe, she says. Yeah, but hang on, he wouldn't
have called it a bum. He'd have called it a caboose or
something. A caboose.
Yeah, yeah, Her arsehole or anus.
Because of the colouration of the film, it looks like she's
got a blue face. And she's got the most unlovely
name, the actress Joanne Pflug. And she's having a tawdry affair
with. Huffnagle.
Huffnagle isn't she, but Hoffnagle's also having tawdry
affair with another nurse. Yeah.
Oh, nurses, I think. Nurses.
Yeah, because it's a bit where he keeps being caught going into
a linen cupboard. This secretary's really annoyed
the fact that she knows it's happened before.
It happens again a bit later and she rather canally says, well,
I'll dampen your order by calling the it's not fire
brigade, is it? It is, I think.
Well, yeah, but what do they call it?
The. Firefighters.
Firefighters and and and and then that's.
It never, never comes to anything.
That just just pitfalls out into nothing.
There's a nice touch Sellers does.
Occasionally. Sellers can't help himself with
his nice little comedic touches to his performance, like he's
making out with one of the nurses.
I'm not sure if it's Joanne Perflug.
He might be. He's making out with her and
he's underneath and she's on top.
And he keeps Sellers, keeps gently tugging up his trouser
legs. Yes.
That's right. Yeah, moving her leg out the
way. Yeah.
He does. There's one, I mean, I've, I've
touched on this already, but there are that two or three
maybe things that make me laugh in this film.
One of them is when he's I can't remember who he's talking to.
But then Jonah Perflug comes up behind him and says yes, and
he's whoever he's talking to. He says what Seller says to
whoever he's talking to. What do you mean yes?
Yes. Looking at the wrong person.
Yes, he argues. He argues to the to the hospital
commissioner, What do you mean? Yes.
And then turns around. He goes, oh, it's you, yeah.
Yeah, it's just a nice sort of glutenish type of.
Yeah, but the worst line in comedy history is also in this
film. Again, I've said this is the
worst Sellers film it can. It contains the worst line of
dialogue between 2 characters in in comedy history, which is
towards the end at the party and and Hofnagle ain't happy.
Oh, that's Oh God. Oh.
It just makes me die inside. So they do a weird thing where
they they hesitate to use the word bitch because it cuts to
something. Beach is that.
Is that their name? But then like 5 minutes 5
minutes later they actually say bitch.
So. Yes, somebody says Horse Pucky
at one point. How dare they?
What is Horse Pucky? Doesn't at one point say this
scream and it cuts to like a zita or sound or something mad.
Or. Zita or something.
Oh yeah, no, you're right. Also, why do they have?
Also the the reason why they have the party is completely.
With the mariachi band. Yes, that's it, he screams when
it cuts to the mariachi band. Yeah, that's it.
That's it. Well, no, it's all we can to
keep Epstein happy, isn't it? Because Epstein, who's gone in
with nothing wrong with him, has his appendix removed
unnecessarily. So they can, I presume, charge
him more medically. Yeah, Yeah.
And then there's the X-ray guy. Oh God.
X-ray guy. He's he's a Marvel.
Super. Yeah, X-ray Guy.
Yeah, is it? Is it Mr. Mr. Moshotto or
something? Like that Nish, Nishi Nishi.
Oh, you mean Pat Morita? Yeah.
Yes. From from television's happy
days. Yes.
Is that was he in happy days? He was the original the owner
of, you know, Owl. Who was it?
Owl? Who owned the diner?
The fat guy before him? It was before him.
It was Arnold, and that was Pat Morita.
Oh. God, is that because they're all
because the ruse is, is that the patients go in, they decide that
there's something wrong with them, then they dial down to him
in X-ray. He'll then doctor a reason why
they might now need surgery or some extra stuff.
So they're all complicit on it, yet at the same time, they're
all this hospital is terrible. It's also also I don't get and
also the plan at the end where Huffnagle sends Joanna Perflug
to seduce Hammond Epstein. Yes.
And then he's filming her with filming them.
Filming them, but also then ruins it by being kind.
Yeah. Masturbated.
Yeah, but also, I don't know why.
I understand why everyone's angry about that.
I know exactly why. Or.
Or what the plan was with filming him anyway.
Is that just an extra contingency planning kick?
Because it's all like, everyone's sort of trying to
dupe the other, aren't they? They're all.
Yeah. Fine, but it's not.
Back in those days, Jeremy, you can sell those, sell those sort
of films to stag parties and things, can you?
I guess so, but why he's sent her?
She's complicit in the plan. Then we just when she discovers
that he's looking at her, basically.
Then she gets cuss about it because I suppose because he's
with the other nurses. I don't.
Know well, I never, I never understood that relationship
between him and. No he.
Seemed seemed very shaky. Exactly, because she sort of
loves him in some things. And then?
Yeah, because he's always sort of like promising to sort of
marry her and move in with her. Because at one point, he says,
just go away and choose furniture for a new house.
That's another thing I don't understand, because that's
supposed to be that evening. But he's also, but he's also
sent her into. Exactly.
Well, because I think the idea is that Epstein knows because he
sends one of the orderlies down to steal the charts from the
X-ray guy to confirm that he's he didn't need his appendix.
Also, when he goes in, the first thing he does is he rings his
girlfriend Epstein to say I'm in the hospital and she and she
just immediately makes a VD joke.
Yeah, exactly because. Well, you didn't get it from me.
In fact, doesn't he didn't quite.
Early on he's saying I've got two girlfriends.
There's no one. There, the first thing he does
is he looks at Mrs. Gefrunk and checks out her ass on the way
in. She's really happy.
Yeah. She cheers her up.
There's a bit where the one of the other nurses is also
complicit in it, so I'm talking about the bonuses.
She's walking down the stairs and dot, dirty old Doctor
X-rays, upskirting her. I think it's plug again, isn't
it? Yeah, it's, it's, it's and he
says. And he said, so we're talking
Pat Marita looking up up her skirt.
He says. He says.
You made my eyes round. That's right.
Yeah. My God.
There's so much because every time Sellers meets anyone of any
ethnic background, he then has to make a joke when they leave
of. Course so.
The first thing he says is like something about the fiend is
Chinese. With him, there's something
about the other guy, because so much of Black Power, you're
like, oh. My I know, yeah.
I've got, I've got, I've. I've jotted down a few here.
OK, so brilliant. So he's talking to an Italian, a
doctor of of Italian descent. Yeah.
Who says who's trying and he
tries to blackmail him or something.
And the doctor says, OK, I surrender.
And and Hofnagle says how very Italian of you.
Yeah, OK. So it's some big, it's kind of
mild, I suppose. But then later on he refers to
Epstein, which has really Hammond, but he refers to
Epstein as his kind. Yes, there's a love.
He he says to a Mexican. Take your potential dysentery
and go. He wants.
He once sent a black colleague a
watermelon for his birthday. That's right.
He says to Pat Morita's character.
So much for the Yellow Peril, which I think was a seller's.
Yes, it. Sounds like a it sounds quite
goonish. Actually, yeah.
Greedy little Buddha head as well.
And I was sighing. There was a bit where I was.
I was in such a bait with the whole film.
But don't blame you. There's a point where he's
referring he's got this mold working for the hospital
commissioner. Oh God, yeah.
Who's, who's, who's? Oh, he's the homosexual now.
I think he's meant to be homosexual.
So he's so he's got. So he's dealing with flowers all
the time. Yeah, he's always.
Dealing with flowers. He's watering artificial
flowers. Yeah, and watering and and I'll
beat this bit, but he says so much for power.
Oh, really? I didn't.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Is that in the copy you sent us? I didn't.
Yeah, I'm sure it was. It's just that line repeatedly
for an hour and 20 minutes. I didn't just.
Make it up.
You didn't just record it yourself and dub it over the
copy. And yeah, and he's just.
He's just generally Hoffner was just contemptuous of the entire
medical profession as well. And and and women, yes, the only
the only group to escape is contempt, I guess.
And it's surprising because of the period are lefties or
commies or pink. There's none.
Of that. There's none of that.
No, there's no hippies. But wait, I mean, yeah, there's
a very sour feelings of the whole film, but it's not far off
the field of the Magic Christian, to be honest.
You know what I mean? Not at all.
Much better film, though. Magic.
Christian. Magic.
Christian, yeah. Oh, of course.
And it's much more watchable, and it's got many, many more
amazing moments in it. But it's still a sort of so.
I don't know if it's just sellers, but the he's got this
view that mankind is greedy and motivated by money and
capitalists and venal and awful and yes, very misanthropic tone
to it, which it does, but this is the.
Same man who is like driving the latest Jag and you know.
I know, but maybe you know that if you if you're going to
psychoanalyse him, there's endless scope for that.
Oh God, yeah. That could be his sort of self
hatred and his awareness of his own flaws and.
Sure. I don't know.
I mean, you know, this is the worst film to to try and make a
seller's theory about. Or is it?
Maybe it's the best film to to to overreaching seller's theory.
The kind of thing I like about Seller's character and all that
is that he apart from at the very end, he never seems to feel
like he's in any trouble. He will talk his way out, bribe
his way out. He's bribing the head doctor.
When XT finds out what's going on, he just goes, That's not a
problem. Give him the best bed in the
hospital. Give him loads of beer and
steaks. Yeah, because.
That'll keep him quiet. I think.
Do anything just to sort of get the dollar?
This may be the worst Sellers film, and I could very well be,
but I don't think it's his worst performance.
Which is what's his worst performance.
I don't know. Something like him in Sykes or
something. I mean, that doesn't count I
guess, but yeah. Yeah, because, oh, because.
It was president of Zender. There you go.
Oh, that's yeah, it's good shout because of course you two were
last on the show talking about his last film, which was
fiendish plot of Doctor Fu Manchu.
Yes, that's right. Which?
Which Paul and I were rather lukewarm about.
But Jeremy, you were a huge fan of that film.
Well, yes, but only in terms of. I've seen your tattoos.
You love it. But yeah, and if you know what
you're in for, if you see what I mean and maybe that's how you
need to approach. I mean being semi obsessed with
Peter Sellers as I am, everything's everything's part
of the seller's story, if you see what I mean.
So even. A It's Yeah, it's.
The same when you watch. It's the same when you watch any
film with Peter cooking as well. You just go.
I just. Yeah.
What's going on when he's doing it and it's somehow bled in?
Or it's not. Why?
Why are you in this film? Why are you?
Yeah. Why are you doing this?
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
And because I mean. And also, you can't take your
eyes off him. That's the weird thing with this
all full bloody film. Yeah, he does, he does write.
He is cream on the top because everyone else is really isn't
very good at all. There's my OK, my favorite bit
then is is pitch black. But it's when he's he's going
through one of his interminable medical reports about one of his
previous patients and it's about the the terms.
It's the mother and the baby and it's so grim about the they're
adding the, the adding the. There's a Yeah.
Well, it goes on to. Gonorrhea, Gonorrhea.
Gonorrhea, it says. Neither of the parents will want
to admit it because they both are too embarrassed, but there's
a suggestion that the baby would have died if they'd given
exactly penicillin, so they have to add on and.
It's all just to get another $38 exactly.
Yes. But also what's?
Horrible matter of fact is. Nurse is really complicit in it
with him. Yes, exactly.
That's. Lovely, lovely.
But I mean that I think is is is almost amazing because it's so
pitch black. Yes.
As a joke. And he does it.
He does it. He revels in it as well.
You can see that he's properly, you know, selling.
Sticking it to the man somehow in his home.
And then he even does a sort of horrible laugh towards the end
of it. Yeah, it's AI kind of some
reason. I don't know why I enjoy the
bits, but he's just always talking to people through a
hatch and a Pepsi Cola machine, having a little secret talk to
different people. There's a little Goon show
reference there, I think the Indian love call song, you know,
Yes. Yeah.
And I'll answer to yeah, I mean, there must be a goon show thing.
They used to do that all the time, didn't they?
Absolutely. Can I ask, right, here's, here's
a counterfactual. Was it a counterfactual?
OK, it's just, it's just a hypothetical, hypothetical
scenario. Hypothermic.
OK, so the script of this film, if there is such a thing, The
script of this film, yeah, imagine of Sellers sold it to
Gerald Thomas to make a carry on to get a carry on version.
Weird, You should say that. Because I was.
I sort of half thought earlier on when I was watching it.
This is like a sort of horrible, shadowy, dark, unfunny carry on.
Medical What's the carry on Medical One where it's all about
the mystery elixir that can help you lose weight, that is.
To the highest that. Is that again, Doctor?
Again, Doctor, isn't it? So it does have echoes of that
in that sense of light to the it's.
Probably around the same time as well actually, but if it's.
But but if if this was a carry on film, same, same script,
Anglicized, yeah, I suppose it would be Sir James, I presume as
Hofnagle. Oh, yes.
Oh, I see. Jim Dale is the as, as, whatever
his name is. As Epstein.
Epstein Yeah. Could also, But it could also be
Ken Williams, weirdly as Hofnagle.
Oh, it could be. Yeah, it could.
It could actually be Ken, in fact.
Yeah, yeah. So obviously, obviously the
roommates with Jim Dale, you've got Sid.
I was like, you've got Bernie, obviously with his bowling ball
and dare I say, who's the guy who looks like a sort of like a
gentle Hispanic American, Paul McCartney, who plays a guitar in
it? Oh yeah, he's got Butterworth
written all over him. Well, weirdly of.
Course, Charlie. Poultry would be Doctor Zoni,
yes. Absolutely.
Shadow of a Day. Yes.
That's immediately cast. Yeah, who'd who'd argue with it?
It'd be Nishimoto. Though.
No worry about you have to be Peter Butterworth.
It'd. Probably have to be Bert Quack
if he was available, No, That would be Terry Scott with Scott.
Scott with makeup. Exactly.
Lovely, amazing, amazing makeup. But yeah, it has got the main.
Secretary who is stepping? That's obviously Babs.
And then you've got the. Well, the fight with the
catfight they have is almost the same as the catfight it is.
Ells, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
In. Fact There's a brief there's a
tight That's the only shot of brief boobage.
There's a couple of nip slips on there.
There's. A cover nip slips in that scene,
yes, but they fight in the linen cupboard.
Oh. Well, so yeah, you're quite
right. It's got, it's got the aspects
of a sort of bizarro carry on medical comedy in a way, isn't
it? It's got very odd musical
choices as well. I don't know if, you know,
obviously we've got this annoying country song which
plays all the way through, but then every so often it sort of
goes into a sort of gospel organ and.
All the bit when he's telling his sob story.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So like testify type of music. Even as a little boy, I was
never well liked. My mother paid other kids to
play with me. I say this not to engender
sympathy. I know you're beyond that, but
just to assure you that I bear no hard feelings.
It's simply that I am cursed. I'll buy that.
You'll have my resignation within the hour.
Then you get this weird Japanese Kyoto playing William Tell.
I know, it's so odd, and there's nothing to do with Nishimoto
even. It's just like it's just.
Because it's. A William Tell for no reason.
To do something else. So odd.
Oh. My God.
I'd love to know because there's speaking about, you know,
anything not to do with the acting or the writing, but the
directing is bizarre. Yeah, I don't.
Know, I'm sure that's just because there wasn't time or
money. Every choice is why are you
doing that? Because I've decided to and
we're doing it. And then now it's done.
Because the way some odd odd it does this thing slow zoom into
someone talking, but they're not saying anything particularly.
Exactly, it's them saying your plot.
It's just. It's got long, long, big
dialogue doesn't. It quite zoom into their full
mouth. It just sort of zooms.
Half mouth, half mole on a cheek you like.
Maybe so when they try and do something arty like in a mirror
or through a magnifying lens or something like.
That yes. Or do that reverse shot.
Or a fish eye lens occasion, yes.
The at the party, you know there's the conga line.
The immediate, the immediate party that happens.
The immediate party where everyone's immediately pissed.
It's the immediate party. It was immediately pissed.
It's like a sort of awful echo of the sort of 60s parties that
used to end for. Now, I was going to say the
conga line, where you've got Hofnagle, who's unwillingly part
of the conga line. Yeah, it's a sad reminder of
when. Oh, the Pink Panther.
The the The Pink Panther Conga line.
Yes. Which is fantastic.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, you're quite right. It's but it's like there's a
hangover from the 60s of well, if you can't think of an ending,
let's just make it a big. Huge party, huge party.
Because that's the bit where the Commission there finally turns
up. He's been trying to nail sellers
for ages, but never really try it.
He's. Useless, isn't he he.
Is and he turns up and then goes, Oh well, everything's
fine. Yeah, I don't get that.
Because it's all. All is forgiven as well.
He just goes well, we need a hospital.
Even though he knows this hospital is dreadful, he goes.
And that's all he's been trying to do before that is to try and
get it shut down. Exactly.
I must shut this down or I will die, and then suddenly.
He just goes, Oh well oh. Well.
Don't make mistakes. Yeah, but yeah, and none of the
doctors are struck off. No, no.
Yeah, and then there's some weird punchline about him trying
to if you if you take my perfectly healthy appendix out
and I'm going to sue the I don't quite follow his reason.
Hospital for $1,000,000. Which I've already given to you,
so you've already got the money. Yeah, don't quite get well.
He checked himself in as a patient to make more.
Yeah, that bit makes no sense. No sense.
The bit that I find really funny is that during that part you see
where he is the commissioner, he slips out the window, goes back
to his office and he's burning the incriminating evidence.
He also has one final call with his homosexual marital.
He's like he's on his way and he's like he already knows.
He then burns the phone that he's spoken to him on.
That bit was the only bit that I went.
He's. Kind of fuzzy catches gay or
something. Yeah, doesn't catch gay.
There's a, there's a there's AI Want to share a little story
about sellers and amateur you know Rod Amateur, right.
Go on. So Sellers, apparently Sellers
on the set. He was very pleasant, very
affable and very popular with the kind of truth he was.
Polite. He was efficient.
He rolled his sleeves up, got his hands dirty.
You know he wasn't. He was not.
He wasn't.
He wasn't flouncing off, no. No, because it was, I guess
because he, you know, he was paying for this film.
Right. Himself, maybe.
But it it did make him quite a decent return because you know,
it was shot in a shoestring, but it it made a bit of money so.
Maybe. Maybe this is being an amateur
psychiatrist again. Maybe even it's a film, which he
knew was terrible and didn't matter.
He didn't. He didn't feel stressed about it
and he didn't feel like a little bit, Yeah.
He didn't feel like he had to sabotage himself to get out of
it, sort of thing. Yeah, possibly.
Well, he the fact that he was worried about his money.
Yeah, well, he he got on quite well with Rod Emma 2.
Who's the. Writer and director, OK, And at
the end of filming he presented him with a a tiny condensed
edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica in two volumes, which
came with a magnifying glass. Because it was such a tiny, tiny
print, right? Which is a nice little gesture,
I suppose. Sellers was in the habit of
giving gifts and things. Yes, he was.
And and then sometime later the the two men happened to meet in,
I don't know where it was Rome maybe and they were out drinking
or whatever and they they had an argument about whether Fellini
was any cop or not. Oh, because who?
Who came down on what side? Well, amateur was was fur.
And Sellers was again. Oh really?
I don't know why. Oh dear.
Didn't Sellers didn't like Fellini at all?
Anyway, so they had this argument.
And Bert Mortimer, who was Sellers, sort of.
Oh yeah. Chauffeur Yeah, of course.
He was. He was with Sellers, and later
that night, Sellers sent Bert Mortimer to Rod Amato's hotel
and he. Knocked the door.
He knocked on the door, and he asked.
Bert had to ask for the encyclopedia to pretend like it
back. Oh.
Come Really. And although I don't quite know
why Rod Amato would be travelling Europe with the many
Encyclopedia Botanica. And also he'd be like, well,
they're probably in storage. I don't even know what they are.
And. But, but, but apparently Amateur
said shrugged and said, yeah, here you go, you can have them
back, right? Sellers later that night phoned
Amateur and and told him how upset he was that Amateur had so
freely given the gift back without protesting.
And he said it. He said it reflected how little
Amateur must have thought of him.
Sellers. And.
They never spoke again. That would have been a better
film, This whole thing about a miniaturized.
Poor man though, Sellers. I mean, I mean, that's the way
his mind up operated and for the whole last decade of his life he
was basically. Paranoid and.
Paranoid and annoyed. Mad and yeah, you know, if
there's anything any positive to get from this, I I don't think
he's bad in this. And he's suddenly, as you say,
Paul. He's much more watchable than
anything else in this film. Oh, let's not say.
Leaps and bounds? Yeah, unfortunately, yeah,
because pretty much everyone else in this is dreadful.
But he's he's always there's something, there's something
adult about Sellers is acting. Do you know what I mean?
There's something rational and grown up and almost there's.
A sort of composed element which which somehow maybe just rises
more to the top because of what he's with.
He's just leaps and bounds. And he never, He never mugs.
He never He never guns, Do you know what I mean?
No, no, I know what you mean. I mean, a lot of his films are
terrible, yes. I don't think anything he
performed has dated. I mean, I feel that's a very
dangerous statement to say, but. Have you seen Ghost in the
Noonday Sun? Yes, I Dick scratcher, Yeah.
Now that's almost an unwatchable film.
It's better than this. It is better than this, yeah.
It's got Milligan in it. One thing, it's got Milliken.
Also, it's got some brilliant jokes in.
It. Yeah, All I know is, is that
throughout this tawdry fucking thing that you can't quite see
properly or hear properly, I just never stop looking at
Sellers all the way through it. And that's always going to be
the sort of weird benchmark with him.
Even if he's seen something like actively loathe, I can't stop
looking at him, yeah. That's what I mean.
He's, he's, he's, he's, he's always funny.
Even if he's not funny. Even if the film is not funny
and even. If maybe that's the thing, maybe
I'm looking all the time for him to do like a or something.
Because even when he became. And in films, he's never going
to do it, but I'm still like almost willing him to do it, but
he doesn't. And then?
He's he's not quite the final being there who may choose stage
where he's but even as you know even in that I still find him
amazing and. Am I right in saying Tyler that
this film he this is the film he did after There's a Girl in my
Soup? Is that?
Right, Yeah. Yeah, OK.
And that's like, and that's two years after, is it?
I think Girl in My Suit 70. The next one is Lock House,
isn't it? Yeah.
That's right. Yeah.
He had 1971 off, or at least there wasn't a film released in
71 with him, right? It was a day at the beach, but
that wasn't released. Oh yeah, he's living in Ireland
as well for tax reasons with. Miranda Quarry was this kid.
Miranda Quarry. Yeah.
And he'd make oh that's that's
the other thing. Right.
Interesting. I don't know if it was
deliberate, but the bit with the green shield, Stamps.
Oh yes. Wants the hysterectomy and he's
called Hoffnagle the character, and she she calls him Hoffman.
Yes, I. Guess yes.
Now I can't remember. Has that happened already,
Hoffman, or is it? Hoffman was 709070.
OK, brilliant. And have you seen that, Paul?
Yeah, yeah, it's. I haven't seen it for a long
time. I need it's by the Blu-ray,
which our mutual friend John of course has done the yeah.
Yeah, there's something lovely about Hoffman, but I don't know
what it is. It's a very interesting film.
It's not funny. No, it's not funny.
Not at all. Is there because there's a Is it
a deluxe Blu-ray set that John was?
Involved in, yeah. So there'll be extra bits and
bobs I need to get that, yeah. It's a super duper one.
It's got less sellers in. Yeah, that was based on a hot
that was based on ATV British TV or play for today or something,
which had which? Which had Donald say Donald
Sutherland, Donald Pleasance Hoffman as Hoffman and as the
woman, As the girl, I should say.
What's the name? Daisy from keeping up
appearances. Really.
Yeah. Her name was Judy Cornwall, was
it? Yeah.
Something like that, yeah. Wow.
Anyway, we're talking about better Sellers films here,
aren't we? We are.
That was always going to happen
there. Yeah, the the bit that I laughed
at was right at the end. Right at the end when
everything's falling to bits. It's all falling apart for
Hofnagle. And you've got the old nurse
who's been his kind of accomplice, I suppose.
Talk. To.
Me, Albert. You wouldn't fire me, would you?
I play no favourites. Taking out your locker, Mother,
you're through you. Were.
Mean careful? He feels that she's his mother.
Oh God, is that what it was? I thought.
I thought it was just because she was like a matron.
Oh, right. Maternal.
I read somewhere that he was very short of money at this
point, but but I mean, this wasn't a big earner for him and
I'm sure that there must have been other offers on the table,
do you think? I think he was.
Getting there must have been loads.
Well, he did so OK, he did. Soft beds, hard battles.
Right. That's in a couple of years,
isn't it, I. Think that's 73, maybe 74, I'm
not sure. Because because also, I mean
Godfather Part 2 didn't couple of say he wanted sellers for the
the Strasburg fell. I mean, if he's getting these
offers, then why is he doing this?
Right. Well, that's what.
That's what I want to do one day on Goon Pod.
I want to do an an episode called the Films Peter Sellers
turned down. Right.
Because. And what they would have been
like if he was in them. The Yeah.
The producers, He turned. Turned the producers down.
Yep. So now he's got obsessed with
it. Well, he's, yeah, he's the one
who sort of, like told Hollywood you should watch this thing.
Wasn't it? Yeah, At the time when Mel
Brooks pitched it to him, he wasn't interested.
So he would have been the. I think he'd have been. 0
Mostel. He must.
Have been 0. Mostel.
Yeah. Max.
What's his name although? Realist stock.
Bill Stock. Although Weedley, he could have
also been the he. Could have been any of them.
Really. Well, he Well, he virtually was
for the next couple of years. Yes, that's the thing.
Yeah, yeah. On talk shows and things, yeah.
Kenneth. Kenneth Mars luckily last about
four days ago. Sorry we're going off topic, but
one of my favorite comedies ever is What's Up, Doc?
Oh. Yeah.
Oh, yes. And it was playing at the Prince
Charles Cinema. And I couldn't quite believe
that this film the idea of watching it on a big screen.
Of course. It and I went and there was
about eight of us and I was so happy because Kenneth Miles was
amazing in that anyway. I saw that for the first time a
couple of years ago and I was just blown away.
By adore that film. Barbra Streisand Yeah, it's a
name check in this, I think doesn't.
She as well it does. That's why circumcision, in case
he wants to date her later. That's right.
There you go. That, by the way, Kenneth Mars
turns out, I don't know if you've discussed this with John
Paul in an episode of Colombo playing a totally.
Straight character? Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. And he does it completely down
the line. Yeah.
It's really odd to see Kenneth Mars not, but it's not even not
doing a foreign accent. It's not a significant role
either. It could have been anybody.
Yeah, he's like a genius. Yeah, Yeah, he's any again,
anything with Kenneth Martin, I just go, I want to watch it.
Oh, Young Frankenstein with. His all of it, Yeah, he's
amazing in WhatsApp, Doc. So yeah, it is a shit.
Oh, there is, there is one. There is.
There is one other thing that sellers that Hofnagle says
regularly. Yeah, every time he answers the
phone, he says Talk to me. Talk to me.
Yeah, just. Talk to me in 10.
Four, yeah. And Tenfold's the last line in
the film because he's having a circumcision in case nobody and
he's having a circumcision by the Doctor Who.
Constantly. He's having an append appendix
removed, isn't he? Yeah, he's having.
I thought he. Was having a circumcision.
No, he's having an appendix removed because it's perfectly
healthy and then he's. Going to?
No, but I thought they were all drunk and they decide they're
going. To give the second because.
I thought that's why they were doing it, because they couldn't.
Do it. Do it.
So they're desperate. They're desperate to do a
circumcision. Is they're so desperate?
Yeah, they're so desperate. The name is is the bloke.
It's the other bloke who's name I've forgotten again.
Certainly. Yeah, him, he tells.
He gets. Terrible scope and immediately
cuts himself. He goes.
Oh, and. Then can't look while he's
cutting into Cellars, he's cutting into his flag.
Oh, that is cutting into his flag.
You're absolutely right. Yeah.
All right. I mean, this film makes sense.
So don't. Yes.
So now the film makes sense. All right.
Yeah. Roger Lewis didn't condemn the
film. He complaints that he complaints
it wasn't tasteless enough. Oh, really?
Yeah. The Weird fellow Roger Lewis.
Yeah, And Ed Sickoff, who wrote a book on Sellers.
Again, he was he was all right. He said.
It's it's a nasty comedy, but that's it's aesthetic.
Where does it hurt? Was ahead of its time, he says.
Well, I sort. Of OK, I.
Know what they mean because it's it's.
You can see what they're trying to do and how it could be.
You know how they could have been a properly dark, biting
like, like, yeah. You can see how I matched the.
Film the film. Stick it to the man.
Capitalism is the worst thing in the world and look what you
know, you can sort of see the intention of.
It, yeah. But it's so heavy-handed and
laboured and not that well done. The tone's terrible.
The tone is terrible acting, Yeah.
So. I mean, so I I can't really.
The acting of everyone is awful. Nobody is like all the sort of
incidental what's supposed to be funny characters.
Why does are not? Why does Nishimoto suddenly do
Groucho? For a bit, he doesn't.
I don't know. Why is he listening?
He's listening. He's just some sort of weird,
like funky music in his. Funky Japanese music.
I think he's funky Japanese music for some reason,
upskirting people. He's not the character.
That's right. Calling people Yankee dogs.
That's. Right, Yankee Dogs.
And his accent? Doesn't he somehow do a British
accent? At one point, his accents
change. But it feels like he's doing it
for for effect, but I don't know what the effect.
Well, he's trying. He's the, he's the, he's the
comedy foreigner in this film, isn't he?
He's the comedy. Foreigner Why is he doing a Dick
Van Dyke at one point? I don't know.
Do you think Sellers just went? I think you should deliver one.
Line Do this line like like Dick Van Dyke, like it'll be a HUD.
For our walk. Do it.
I'll do it then, yeah. All right, you're genius.
All right, you troubled genius. All right, you troubled genius.
Oscar nominee Troubled Genius. She hasn't made a decent film.
Like what? He won't.
He won't walk on the Greek carpet.
Oh fuck, are we going to film this?
Oh dear. He's on stilts in one scene.
Yeah, it's just God. Can I go here?
Talk to me. Somebody swipe one of my charts,
Epstein, 4029. Consequently, one of my
fantastic medical breakthroughs is about to explode in your
face. What are the other candidates
for worse than this film, then? Oh, well, we've said it.
I've said it before. Soft beds, had battles.
That's. I really do think that is
terrible. You're quite right.
I find Prisoners Enders so boring.
Prisoners. Enders.
Really. Quite.
And and as yeah, we we we talked about Foo Manchu.
Foo Manchu is OK. It's actually not that bad.
I. Love.
It it is but. I mean, it is, but it's not that
bad. It's not as bad as some of them.
It's made worse because it's the last thing you ever did.
Yeah, that's that's what that is.
Yeah, I guess. Somehow, yeah.
And of course, Doctor Strange were fucking awful.
Overrated. I That's almost say down among
the down among the dead men. Dead men.
Yeah, well, that's not fair. That was.
I know it's not fair, but you know who said fair?
Yeah, you see who said fair, Tyler?
Fairpoint. I'm just scrolling through his
films here, yeah. You poor man.
I mean, look, there's Mr. Topaz isn't very good.
That's oh. I haven't seen that.
Mr. Topaz that. Was only released recently.
Was it because there was only? That was his.
That was his one directorial. I still haven't watched it yet.
I think. I think I've tried to play it in
my Blu-ray player, so it's the wrong rage and so.
Blu-ray player, right? Do you want to go out instead?
Blu-ray players, I don't think you should see this.
Play some crazy golf and have a beer.
Do. You want do you want do you want
to pass me the crew it and I'll make you a nice nice ball of
suit instead. How about that?
It's a small Blu-ray player, but, you know, not that smart.
Mr. Topaz, I have seen that. Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah. Isn't that terrible then?
It's not terrible. It's just a it's just dull.
It's a yeah, dull. I think dull is the worst thing.
It's. It's got Michael Goff in it.
It's got Billy Whitelaw. Oh yeah.
And Leo Mckern, I think from. Memory, oh, Leo McCann.
He's never bad in anything, Liam Mckern.
No he isn't. I think my favorite Liam McCann
is him in The Prisoner. Yes.
Ah well, yes. He's cheating.
Maybe, but it's true. I'm not a huge fan of The
Prisoner, but I love him in that, yeah, he's amazing.
He sort of makes it almost because he's in it.
Well, he's, he's the last, he's the last #2, yes.
He's he's first and last, yeah. He's the first.
That's right, of course, first. #2 He's the last #2 Yeah, yeah,
although that episode is bafflingly insane.
Oh. Brilliant.
Imagine Sellers is the #2 that would.
Be Oh my God. See, that would have been
perfect for Sellers. It wouldn't.
Be #2. Yeah, you would imagine him with
the sitting in that series. So imagine him.
Yeah, exactly the. Blazer on the scarf.
With his grip, pipe grip, pipe thin voice, yeah.
Yeah, yes, wonderful number six. You do make me very happy,
number six. Yeah, he would have been great.
You would have been amazing, yeah. #2, though of course the
number two number two in my favourites, the number 2 after
Leo McCain is Darren Nesbitt. He's absolutely incredible in
it. You know, he's still working.
He's still working. He made a film about five years
ago in which he played a drag queen.
Really. He did?
Wow. Yeah.
Good Lord, what's it called? No, I don't know.
I'll find out. Hang on.
It wasn't run for your wife, was it?
No, no it. Never is potato no Tucked.
I think it's called Tucked Tucked 2018.
Because of his who are? Yes, Here we go in In 2018,
Nesbitt played the leading role as a drag queen in a British
independent film, Tucked. Holy moly.
Bloody hell. Wow.
And he's still going. How many years young is he?
He is. He is 88.
Years young. Years young ladies.
And he owned. Our price.
What? Hang on, hang on.
At least throw things like that out.
Tyler, I'm going. To be the own dark place that's
like you just going, Oh yeah, by the way, Rusty Lee Van Colcorn,
What? He owned our price.
I think so, yeah. I think if you look it up,
you'll see that he and his brother set up there.
He He knows bit, yeah so. So our price.
It was their price. That's the price we're talking
about is. That's like saying Buster blood
vessel owned past times. What did you know that Ronnie
Corbett set up Claire's accessories?
James Burke set up Rumblers. Oh, well, that I do believe.
And he's a wonderful man. Would argue that, good Lord.
Limas. Anyway, so we've we've rather
drifted off topics. As you said, everything there is
to say about. I think we.
I think so. There is to say a man goes to a
hospital, he doesn't need to be there.
They try and give him unnecessary things to make more
money. Everyone is on the make and some
of the old turn on him. Then they have a big party and.
He has an. Operation himself, Sellers
Sellers might die at the end, yes.
But all for the cause of money. The end.
All because of awful, awful mankind and capitalism, yeah.
And one of the last things, one of the last things that that
Hofnagle says before he says 10. Four.
Right at the end, yeah. He says to he says to a doctor,
you're up to your scrotum. And the Hippocratic Oath, Yes,
that's true. Yeah.
There's not gentle humor in this film, isn't?
It like that's a bad thing as well.
Oh yeah, that's true. You know, Have you done all
these films now on this? No.
What have you got left? Or was that?
Oh, OK. Hang on, hang on.
So I've got Mouse at Raw Doctor Strangelove.
It's all right, Jack. He hasn't done any of them yet.
Yeah. I've done Mouse at RAW, but not
for this podcast. Would you believe it's?
Give a lot of podcast. Oh yeah.
Did it for my favorite murder. Yeah, Darren Nesbitt's.
I've still got to do. I've got loads to do.
Blimey. But well, you better pull your
finger out then. Well, yeah, but I don't want to.
I don't want to run out of Sellers films because I have to
finish the podcast then. Won't I?
You have to move on to your Russ Abbott face show.
Or do you have Harry Seekins, Harry Seekin films?
I do. There probably aren't many of
those. Well, I've done most of them.
Yeah, I was going to say they can't believe.
I will. I would say one of the most
chilling appearances ever is Harry Harry Seekin in Bed Sake
Room. Oh my God, how the hell did you
do that? That's horrible.
It killed his wife and his mother-in-law.
I thank you, Marlon. God.
Married to A. Medical calendar or something.
A medical calendar of different states of skin and bone and
tissue. Oh my God, it's horrible.
Anyway, yeah, so you've got tons more of sellers to to mine.
You're only starting a new podcast, which is.
Just yes and and and you 2 Have you 2 have already agreed?
Oh, of course. Forgotten this, but you're going
to come and you're getting awful at some .0.
You are awful. Oh, yes.
Yeah, which again, men dressed as women.
That's very true. I mean, the camera is not good
enough to for that still to be count as a As for this for this
new project, he's an honorary goon, isn't he?
Well, he is because he was in the.
He was in the. Yeah, I'm not.
I'm not counting that as a as it's.
Fair enough. Outside of Goonpod's So.
So if there were any Jack Train films, that would be fine as
well. Yeah.
Oh, there are. I interviewed Dick, Emery's son.
Did you? Oh.
For this, For the pod. Because you know, Dick was in a
few goon shows. Yeah, and I just like talking
about people like Dick Emery in general.
And he said, he said because he made it.
You're talking about Peter Cook. He made a film with Peter Cook
in 19759676. Hang on.
Right called Find the Lady. Find the lady.
Yes, I've seen this. With John Candy, Yes, isn't it?
It's. Terrible.
What? So it's Nick Emery is his son.
Nick Emery. Brilliant.
He's telling he's talking to me and another guy that was on it,
and he says, yeah, and and Dick Emery and Cookie got on really,
really well. And they used to like, you know,
after shooting or whatever, they'd go out drinking, oh God.
And at one point somebody brought along the cassette
recorder, they got pissed and they basically did an improvised
kind of an ersatz Derek and Clive recording.
But it was Dick. Emery.
Dick Emery and Peter Cook and I said, oh please find it.
Please find it. He didn't think it was that big
a deal. Dick and Henry like swearing and
being really blue. Imagine.
Oh my God, I can. I can really imagine that, Yeah.
Because he always looked like he had a bit of an edge to him.
Well, he kind of sounds a bit like Dudley sometimes does.
Yes, he's the. Same type, isn't he really?
Sort of, yeah. Slightly short and chippy and
you know, but nice. I know what to hear that Not
anything else in the world. Yes.
Oh my God. Jesus, wow.
If it surfaces, I will let you know.
Oh, please do. Secret tape.
So anything to plug carry on streaming?
Is that still? Yes, there's one.
Oh yeah, there's. One in the tank, which we
haven't released yet because I have to source, as it were, some
of the music now, Yeah, it's Carry on Paris, which all you'll
listen. Paris, of course, of musical,
yeah. Ever.
Everyone remembers that one. Oh, we all remember that one,
yeah. Yeah.
So that's that's coming up soon. Yeah.
And then it'll be carry on drilling.
Carry on drilling. No, Is it drilling?
It is drilling. Drilling, yes.
Of course it is. Of course it is of.
Course it is. The lighter side of dentistry,
I'm presuming. Oh.
No. Oh, you haven't seen it.
Oh. No, I haven't seen them all.
You know. No.
Well, you got to catch them all, and you haven't seen them all so
well. You you.
You'd be surprised. I mean, Jeremy, make a note.
It might be about dentistry. Yeah.
Well, it's always a joy hearing you turn up on the likes of
Smashpod. Oh, bull.
Thank you. Yeah, love doing it.
Yeah. And and listen, yeah, I'm going
to be talking to you again at some point probably next year
now about you were awful. That's OK.
Has anyone put dibs on the Charlie Drake films yet?
Oh, what's he made? What's he?
Made. They're definitely, they're
definitely at least 1C Drake film.
I can't. I can't remember what it's
called, but I remember watching it a.
Long time ago, cares 4 wet nest. Yeah.
They did that. Friend of mine, Friend of mine.
Went to see Charlie Drake live about.
I don't know, a few years before he died.
When he was in Jim Davidson's adult pantomime.
It was probably around that time, oh God.
And he was touring around provincial theatres and mate of
mine went to see him at, I don't know, Bradford, some theatre in
Bradford or something. And it was the audience was kind
of just, he said it was a weird, it was like relatively youngish
audience. It wasn't like, you know, old
Deers or anything. And Charlie Drake comes out to
stage and he just walks to the walks to the front and he says,
what is it? He says.
Hello, my darling.
My darling. Right.
And there's like tumbleweed, nothing from the audience.
And he goes, well, laugh. Oh, it's terrifying.
Oh. I'm watching Feud at the moment.
You're watching Feud. Oh, it's really good.
Is it the the Truman Capote one? Yeah, that's just the Honda.
Is Truman Tom Honda? Is Truman Capote.
Well, so you should watch it because someone acts Peter
Sellers in it in one scene I think.
Is it Ben Chaplin? Yes, because they can see that
because there's a bit where they.
They're making, they're making murder by death.
To him making murder by death. Yeah.
Oh, so insane. So you've got all the cast
there, sat around the dinner table while he's all.
Because when he was making it, he was oh, of course, yeah, at
the time. And completely fucked up.
So you've got all these people pretending to be David Niven,
Columbo, Alec Guinness. Yeah, it's amazing.
Oh my God, I've got to watch that.
Just for that, just for. That so Ben Chaplin.
And that's episode 2. Ben Chaplin as I didn't.
Look like him but. It's such a it's.
I I immediately thought it was Ben Chaplin.
But he literally he's got one or two lines.
But. Yeah, he just goes.
He just says I was like, God's sake, tell him to.
Was it? Oh, for God's sake, cat.
But we've already done, we've done murder by death.
Otherwise, I've got you back to talk about that.
Because I love murder by death so much, Yeah.
Sellers is one of the least memorable things in it.
He's in his Frozen sort of era where he's.
I know, but he does get to say idiot, not finished mushroom
story. So everything's fine.
Everything's fine. Oh, and it's got all the Benson
mum James served Benson mum it's got.
Oh, I love that. I'll I'll again that any film
like that that what's up dark just immediately.
And there's there's the, there's the, the cut scene with Sherlock
Holmes. Have you seen that?
Oh no. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Who acts Sherlock Holmes then? Who was it?
There's no one of a major.
Charlie Drake. No, nobody you'd know.
But the cut the scenes. I'm not.
I'm not quite sure you can see them on Russell Tovey.
Because he's in feud. He's in feud, yeah.
You can see them on YouTube I think.
OK. Oh, brilliant, Yeah.
Anyway, we're we are digressing and digressing, yes.
Gentlemen, we have a chat now. It's lovely.
It's been it's been very pleasurable.
And on that note. Right.
Cheers guys. See you later.
Bye, bye.