On arrival of the Teahouse has instructed and knocked six
thousand times. Gloom.
Cuss his next door. It's always next door in China.
I'm not enough Tea. House of all this goon.
Yes. Huh.
Are you out poong? Yes, we are up on until 11:00.
Hello. And welcome to King pod as
you've just heard. It is China story this week that
we are discussing. And of course, I feel I should
point out the obvious that the show the original show and and
the Remake contained language content and themes.
Of its time, okay? And joining me this week is
Roger Stevenson. Roger, you've already indicated
to me that you're probably the oldest or one of the oldest
people so far that's been on the show.
Yes. Do you mind me asking when you
were born? 1949 1949 okay.
So so you'd have been old enough to have heard the Goon show
first time around then no well I never did hear it.
The first time around that show. I came to the goons by quite a
Securities route, right? I think I was a bit too.
Young was about 10, when they finished.
Mmm. So I was just that, right?
Sort of pre-pubescent age for the Pelicans, of course, I'll
God and to tell your goons was awful.
Don't get me wrong. Yeah, it's scarred me for life
because when I envisage any member of the goes and he cast
member I get the pictures of tele goons in my head.
Yeah. But which is awful because I
think major blood look looks nothing like that.
But yeah, and it was so Of all the rage scorer, I went to boys,
grammar school, and this was wonderful.
You know, we all did the voices all the time, my friend Paul and
myself caused uproar in an English lesson because we're
doing Beth is doing Macbeth in those days and teacher made us
read it out loud. Round the classroom.
Yeah, and myself, Paul did two of The Witches as Minden Henry.
Absolutely. When shall we three meet again?
That's a huge sigh of disappointment.
When the third boy said, which either through lack of ability,
or lack of nerve. Just did it on his normal voice.
And then I guess they disappeared somewhat because
it's not like it is today. There's no going back over,
previous things, and internet. And that it's what happened as
it happened. And then, the next thing
happened was again in the playground.
It was have You read the Dustbin of Milligan.
Okay. Yeah it led me to discover the
comedy section in the library. It's 827 in the Dewey Decimal
System I can still remember though, right?
It's covered things like little pot boiler and the Book of B and
all the other wonderful books like that.
Then of course, the next big thing to hit us.
Couple years later was pakkun. Yeah.
Wonderful. Guy Hammer, I don't know how
many copies of given away. I don't know how many times over
The opposed to makes me roar with laughter.
And then after that, we got the gun show scripts, wonderful.
So this is what it was all about.
Then, you know, and it's sort of made the past fall into place
more. This is a lot better than the
Telly goons ever was. Yes, of course after that we had
a dull Hitler and so on and strangely enough, it wasn't
until mid 1970s. Why?
After all this I finally purchased a cassette, the Goon
show All right. Okay.
Which one was it? It was this one and again and
tells of old Dartmouth. Yeah.
So I suppose you could say really that I watch the Goon
show and I read the Goon show long while before I listen to it
she's kind of weird way around and doing it.
Is its opinion is they were all over the media.
I mean you got to remember it's not like isn't it monolithic
that there was just until 1968? There were two television
channels and until 67 there were three official radio channels.
Everyone sort of shared experience, you know, you could
talk to your grandparents about what you were watching what
you're listening to, and they'd have probably watched and
listened to the same thing is not like now where everyone goes
around individual beats are passed through the internet.
Yeah, they're all over the place.
You know, all these variety shows played him and so on, they
were on panel shows. There weren't many talk shows.
Came in a bit later, but their own panel shows jukebox jewelry
which was Do you ever heard of it?
Yeah. Yeah.
Basically for entertainers trying to say whether song dat
teenagers who can be it's a not a stirring of the spikes in
there saying it's a hit with me and disaster with the rest of
the country time. They're on the news and like it
was X goon Arch Google the mugging for the cameras.
Oh and also also the lazy headline, that the newspapers
would always use Goomba not forgotten.
Oh yes. Yeah.
Because Michael Banting, this was his hour of Glory because
this was it's a square world. I'm very sorry about that but it
does bring us extremely neatly to our next subjects.
Pretenders to the throne here we see Carlo the pretend that
Spanish throat. Next we see three Bobo who is
Pretender to the French throne and also pretends to have
invented the world and chocolate biscuits.
We even have a pretender to the English.
Throne here is in the studio tonight.
Mr. Burt King with his ready kicking bird.
Miss king, bird kingdom. Good evening subject.
Is that your help? But to me, it's why he left the
goons because there's things that the flea circus and the
four men in bowler, hats canoeing up the River Thames to
find the source. Yeah, and the Chinese, you know
the story about the Chinese junk and can.
Yes, you tell me about that though because I can't remember
the details. Okay, yeah.
Well basically, it started off with a little bit of Chinatown
from Soho to Greek Street and this sort of in Inspired Michael
benteen to do this thing jumps. Sailing up, the Thames and
firing at the houses of Parliament, and it was all
recorded and everything. And then they couldn't show
because a snap election was called, and they decided it was
politically sensitive. I don't get it either.
But yeah, pretty insensitive. And when they did actually show
it sometime later, it had a huge audience because everyone that
was all in the papers, you know, it's a square World canceled.
So it had a huge audience Michael Benson does a wonderful
story about it, but when they finished the filming and there's
a police long, to be honest, I'd get permission to marry her.
He look like a Mongolian warlord.
He's great as policeman pulled alongside and they signaled,
they finished and play silences. I don't suppose any of you lot
speak English, you add wake me are going to be doing an episode
on its Square world in the next couple of months.
Great account for that. But you see for me, that's why
Michael benteen, didn't fit with the guns because his was a very
visual sense of humor. Hmm.
You know, Spike was sound is all about the sound and what have
you? But Michael Banting.
It was, if you watch some of those things it is it's the look
of it every time it was just as funny, but it was in a visual
way rather than an audio way. Yeah, his comedy tended to be in
the, the Goon show. Lot of the sketches, he was kind
of aiming for Of a pseudo-documentary comic
documentary style. Where is Spike?
Was more about just Insanity. Yes.
And one-liners are gags and explosions.
Yeah, it is. It's a square world was very
often assume sketches the worm documentary style.
Yeah. Yeah.
The other a similar letter that he wrote explaining why he left
the goons. Would you like to hear it?
It's weird. You've got a letter.
Yeah, well not myself. I'm someone called Andy alif,
right? Was a BBC producer and he
produced The Reluctant just might happen.
Yeah, and posted it on British radio comedy and which is a
Facebook group. Yes.
Oh yeah, please read that yet. Yeah, it says, Dear Peter, I
done it first, Peter Regional, Peter Sellers are not clear.
Thank you very much for the invitation, which I should try
hard to make. There's only one snag that being
possibility. Haven't got a Dorset for the
weekend. However, I do most sincerely,
wish you and the boys every success.
And the Really terrific series, Larry dropped him suggested a
guest appearance later in the series, which was very nice of
you all, but I do feel that professionally a break, must be
a break. Of course, I hope that our
friendship will continue for many years to come.
I honestly do feel that the guns have a much better balance with
three comics and a straight man. As per example, danger, Men at
Work at the foregoing series did show a decided over balancing
comedy with. Additionally, extra one shall
eagerly listened and if I can't make first, we'll make the
second It's kind of interesting because he turns up I know he
turns up it in the Giant Bomb burden.
Yeah, as a guest in series 4. So here that is interesting.
It is interesting because it's never quite clear.
It's never been established 100%.
What drove him to leave. There's some rumors if you read.
Roger, Lewis's book is sellers was really sort of driving that
if you know what I mean that there was there was a lot of
animosity. Between Banting and sellers,
which doesn't seem to be borne out in other accounts?
No, I don't think I've heard a number of different
explanations. I got to say that he was pushed
out and that we did actually explore to find the source of
the Amazon. You know, he wasn't restricted
to much as that some of those were so.
Oh yeah. And also I think he was quite
independently wealthy. Wasn't he?
So he he was able to pursue lots of different.
Pursuits, if you learn. So one of the questions I always
ask people is with regards to the Goon show.
Did you use to skip the music and listening to it?
I did. But I don't anymore.
Okay, I think it's just an appreciation that basically, the
Goon show comes from sort of variety and however, I got stuff
out basically a play comic play, whereas variety was always what
it says variety. You get a juggler.
You guest singer you again. According play it out comic and
It just fits in with that. You know.
It's not all comedy. You put in something part way
through. Just a alter, the tone, just
change of pace etcetera. And so I've gone, I've grown to
appreciate that but what it is Yeah, me too.
Because I used to, I had them all on tape and I used to tend
to fast forward, you certainly through geldray but now
listening back. Now listen to them.
Again, 30 years later on, appreciating it, more the music.
And, and it all admits it all together.
I think it doesn't just it's just a light, and shade thing
really, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
You mentioned China, Tom and the junk before, which kind of
Neatly segues Ascend to the topic of today's conversation.
So you indicated you wanted to come on and talk about the Goon
Show episode China story now there's two versions of that.
There's the version that we're now in 55 as part of Series 5.
And then there was the Remake in 56.
And I think the Remake is the one that you prefer is that
right? I think I like them both.
Actually, I'd actually of the opinion that there weren't
enough remakes. I just wonder if spite would
have been quite so exhausted. If he hadn't already made more,
I mean, Dishonored and Dishonored again are both
brilliant. Yeah.
Robin Hood Hastings flyer. The whole, the whole of the
vintage series, it just seems to me that the thing that I lasted
longer and he might have lasted longer be taken some of those
Series 4, maybe series three programs, and just expanding
them development, change them slightly and it was just giving
it more life. I think you mentioned Dishonored
and to solid again, Dishonored again is generally considered to
be the better version. Although Dishonored is very good
in itself, but also The Man Who Never Was from series. 8 is
generally considered to be the better version than Then series
six and and that itself was expanded on from a series 3.
Episode was no. That's right.
Yeah, it doesnít quite words were trying to story partly,
because it, it is a one-off as part of what is it national
radio? Show, Earls Court and I get the
impression listing the bits. We have spiteful interjections
and Harry's fluff lines and so on that they may absorb over
down the hospitality to some extent.
I'll put a bit of background information will come on to
that, but I wanted to just talk through because the script with
a few exceptions, the script is pretty much the same for both
shows. There's a couple of topical
references in the remake were better than the original.
Yeah, yeah. But more or less they stick to
the to the script. So I just wanted to to chat
through you know both episodes of You like so China story is in
series 5. It's the 17th episode of Series
5 and its broadcast the 18th of January 1955, written by Spike,
and Eric Sykes. Although, with the Eric Sykes
and Spike Milligan episodes, it tended to be one had more
involvement than the other, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, and I think with China story, it was it was very much
driven by Spike. This one is that Spike or lesser
apart from the ending the way hits brought to an end.
Seems to me very much, and Eric Sykes thing, you know, is a
story of such, whereas Spike was not very good at plot, should we
say true truth? Me, and I mean, it's hardly
surprising really. When he got a story going
nowhere, look pretty stupid when it actually arrives, there
doesn't it? But that is true.
I never thought of that yes, there is a, there is a plot
isn't there and it does pay off at the end more or less and it
also Reminded me very much because we go, we've got colonel
colonel, get packed in and count Mariotti trying to involve the
Joop nidhi. See goon trying to involve him
in an assassination plot which is exactly what they were doing
the week before the show before this was the case of the missing
are set in. Oh yeah, set in Austria, where
again, grip, Piper, Marie out, even trying to get ready too.
More or less assassinate somebody.
Now, this show, by the way, again, you know, I want to sort
of jump too far ahead but it was it was issued by Emi yes.
In 68, along with the net, Ricky rising of 74.
And with the, if you seek me, have you seen the original cover
of the lp where they're wearing Chinese straw, hats, the Goons?
Really terrible cover. But did you did you pick that LP
up at all or that tape the tape of it up?
No 70s. I never did no strange enough
after Dishonored and tells well Dartmoor Along Came marriage and
family. Okay, honey, we're out the
window basically till internet. Well, I guess cover the Goon
show depository and all these wonderful gun shows.
I can listen to the never heard, so, no, I saw One cassette and
then everything, right. I see.
Okay, okay, I hadn't listened to China story for the longest time
because I'm gradually working my way through the shows.
Again, having essentially moved on or being involved with other
things a bit. Like you, I suppose, you know, I
grew up. I grew out, grew out of them,
but I just, I still kept an interest in the goons as a
whole. But I stopped listening to the
shows on a regular basis for sure.
And, and I'm the last Years. I'm working my way through them
again, and this podcast is partly a way for me to do that.
But I hadn't listened to China story for many years.
And I was expecting it to be a lot more problematic than a,
than a then it was, I suppose if you like boy, well, it just in
terms of when I say problematic in terms of through modernize,
okay, in terms of some of the stereotypes.
And so yeah, there's a couple of Racial slurs at railing to.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Audience don't so have a nervous laughter at.
Yeah this look there's lots of erroneous elves inserted into
its as well. Mentions of cool is.
Yeah. Yeah.
But in my head my memory was that it that it was, it was
worse than it was if you know what I mean.
And and and I'm not one of these that Wants to go back and kind
of rewrite history and say, well, it shouldn't be, you know,
the sort of thing shouldn't be allowed and we should suppress
it. I think it is very much of its
time and it was just in keeping with the sort of mores of the
age of the time of the period. And I ask myself how many
contemporary Comics would have survived in 1950s radio?
There's not many really lacked. Yeah, I mean Spike, did tend to
kind of he banged the drum. We Spike such a complex
character. Could be such a contradictory
character, isn't he? And, you know, he was still
doing the sort of, shall we say sleepy-eyed Chinese stereotypes
well, into the 70s, in the Q Series and things like that.
But in this, you know, you give it a pass more or less because
it's just, you know, it's it was of its time and that, that
that's the way that you have to drink these shows and it's
funny. That is fine.
Yeah, absolutely. It's all so anyway, I think it,
I mean I read something because in 1955, there was a an
interview in a magazine called Arc.
Okay. Which I think was sort of like
an Arts magazine. I'm not quite sure but there was
an interview between Peter, eaten producer, Peter, eaten and
Spike. Okay?
And not quite sure. The what Background was to this
conversation but was just a general interview about the
goons between eaten and Milligan.
And I just want to read you some of this because it's specific to
China story. So Eaton says to Milligan.
How do you start to write a script?
Take for instance, China Story, the one that critics reviewed
in, which I consider the best of the whole series, by the way,
the critics. Do, you know about the critics?
No, no. So the Ex was a radio version of
a suppose was that Mark Lawson program late review.
It isn't an example of it on one of the compendiums there is.
Yeah, there there's a recording of them discussing.
Let's say, the critics as to say it was a radio review, Arts
review, TV film books, Etc. I believe or it might have just
been. They might have just been
discussing in radio. I'm not quite sure, but there is
a recording of it on the Indian, but it's really atrocious
quality of his in barely herot but the as the critics reviewed
China Story the week it went out and we're very favorable, I
think about it but Peter Eaton says yeah he asks Mike about
China story and spikes as well. First of all childhood,
Recollections of China when we were all young, the first thing
we ever heard about Chinaman with things like Foo Manchu and
they were always fiendish and always lay on hard wooden
benches. Smoking opium pipe.
Oops and looking through bead curtains, then when you grow up
and you realize that they're not a bit like that and how you been
hoaxed as a child beautifully and enjoyably hoaxed, you begin
to laugh at it. When you think of all these
idiots in these novels, I just put them together and they write
themselves. There's the fiendish Chinaman
and then we always bring it in English, upright piano, because
they seem to have been the most useless thing in British social
life. When I first came to England,
there seemed to be one in every front room, never opened the
keys, yellow, and it always just been tuned, but Played.
I thought now. And every house along the
street. There is one of these things
complete with brass candle holders, and it's quite quite
useless. Why not take one to China, a
Chinaman wants one equally useless to him and to make it
even funnier. I decided to take it to a
Chinese naffy. Then of course that always were
the terrible outdated English characters and story about 20
years behind the times talking about fiendish, John Chinaman.
That's how it goes on. There's no question of deep
satire. We just have Fun past ideas,
incorporating people being slightly out of date so it's a
bit of a satire on the hearty British Adventurer type if you
do a lot of this stuff is you know how many times does nanny
Seagram? Sing, there'll always be an
England, the various programs. Its he's always sending up
slightly. That's right because it's got a
what is it? A neon-lit Union Jack above his
head in this Yes, he's the British Ambassador but he's
obviously a bit down on his luck.
The the quote heroic British characters in The Goon show,
were, always down at heel. Only the never always not quite
as Brave, as I thought they were now.
Absolutely. So notice Egan is British
ambassador to China. He's on the Shanghai Waterfront.
And, as I say, he's engaged in conversation by grip by Band,
Moriarty and We have this recurring gag which I think is
wonderful with Adolphus sprigs. That's I think is the best
recurring gag. He's done.
I can still remember the first time I heard it falling about
laughing every time a dog for spring stand up.
It's it's put into the story so beautifully which again I wonder
if that's a bit of Eric Sykes coming in there.
This is but it here but just the right Gap, each time so you
forgotten about him. Mmm.
Holding me coins lose when you three gentlemen, be suiting him
for the next few minutes as only morning mr.
Rawley was home tonight. Who did he mean?
I'm Bound for the heels on and of on either team on for good
annoyed. Pretty mean, on of wouldn't put
him on. Yes.
No, she going. This is the idea.
We have gentle Moon. You heard my me, Lord, you.
And I think that this little wooden box with a slit in the
club, speeds, the boring tool? Yes. - the first thing you have
to do, gentlemen, I understand you.
Want an uncle. Oh joy.
Hmm. Would you please?
Well done, mate. Our team just check the little
wooden box, would you? Yeah, so, so we have this
recurring appearances from Adolphus Briggs.
He's desperate desperate to sing this song, and whispered to get
paid for it. And it's interesting when you
listen to the fifth series episode of the original version
of China story, Adolphus, Briggs is all through the show, to the
extent that equals doesn't Up because I guess there's no room
for error course, apples and men are both conspicuous by their
absence true - closest. Yeah, minute.
I think that's just spiked, really, I'm not sure.
He always had that great faith in it is own ability as an
actor. In fact, I'm another way you've
got to wait to Victoria Wood for another comic writer who was as
happy as Spike was to share the jokes around the whole cast.
Yeah, that's a good point. Aunt, yes.
We look at Acorn antiques. She can.
She's kind of The Drudge, isn't it?
Isn't she doesn't get the gags as much as as mrs.
Overall, and it's the same with dinnerladies her, that the gags
are spread out amongst all of them yet.
She gets one or two herself but everyone gets a shot.
That's true. The same, as Spike.
He always happy at least not so much in Cuba perhaps, but in the
gun show with the people around him, he was always happy to let
them. The lumps.
Well yeah. I think the biggest laugh on
the, on the Remake in 56 is the reference to, which is a fresh,
a topical gag that's inserted into the Remake which is about
Colonel NASA which was very topical the time.
Because yeah. Suez Crisis.
Yeah. So that be do you remember the
you to be told enough maybe just just about old enough to
remember the Suez Crisis. I remember the words right?
Okay. With the words this is Christ is
very much to me but it was something that was spoken about
Even as it does a couple years later, this talked about the
Suez Crisis is something that happened but in six years old
it's not as important as Roy Rogers on the television.
When yeah. So in August 56 when they when
they remade the try to steal China story, thank you venue
before I think seagoing bursts into a rendition of there'll
always be an England. We're trying to ice rickshaws
and a picture of Colonel nurseries.
Fat. Always be an England, and
England shall be free. If england means as much to you
Grand means now, we'll never get it back.
The plot is that gripped by the Moriarty dates, a to see again,
that they are working with the Chinese leader, General cash, my
check and against him, although he said he calls cash, my check
is dreaded rival. Oh, well, there's a working.
Well, I know that they're working against them at the end,
but I thought that They imply that.
That he has cash my check once to pay 50 million yen, to anyone
who could snuggle, that's the subterfuge, isn't it?
You know, natural phase a dreaded rival, okay?
Because I can see makes them Communists with Mao Zedong weird
group Bible. Moriarty, I'm with the Chinese
Communist is quite an interesting because there are
complexities to the script. I hadn't been aware of, the you
pointed it out, but siguen needs to get this piano and smuggle it
to Cash my check. So he has to go to the this is
the pretty one of the most memorable.
It probably is up there as being the most memorable sound of
extended. Something gag is going to show
history. He has to go to the Teahouse of
the August goon. Yes, you know who cash?
My check is a joke on Douglas. Well, I presume it was a Cayenne
Kai-shek, so I should go check the Chinese nationalist leader
on Taiwan. Yeah.
Didn't he do? It was another famous March that
he was involved with. He went on a March, something
like that was going on. There was not much of a thousand
miles away. All right.
Should have done my research and there's, I'm just going from
school history memory. Remembering that street from
school, he was. And of course, the hell's, the
August goon I presume Teahouse of the August Moon was current
at the time. I was a player as a as a film
with Marlon Brando's are some Japanese boy if you can envisage
that. Yeah, mmm doesn't get shown on
TV anymore. I guess.
That one. It's quite funny actually.
It's really about American imperialism that.
They want to build a school in the locals.
Want the guy shelves, okay, finally film.
If you can get past Marlon Brando's, he's going.
So seagoing has to go to the Tea House of always good.
And knock 6,000 times at last for pong.
And then we had this wonderful. I just, I'd love to know how
they went about putting the sound effect together.
It sounds to me as if they did so many knocks and then speak to
the tape up from sounds like, isn't it?
So, yeah, if you got a tape of lots of knocks like that,
spliced and speed it up, spliced it with the normal one.
And so on it, I think it sounds something like that at the Is it
sound effect trickery? As It sped up at sounds at one
point like it's going to take off.
Like it's a, it's some sort of aircraft or something, you know.
Absolutely. Wonderful in my opinion, it is
and especially as the the again, it goes to the end of it and
he's puffing and panting Teahouse of the August Moon.
No. Yeah.
And then they have The Bravery. If you like to repeat it, Spike
was always very good at filling periods of time there wasn't he
was silences or meaningless little conversations and so on.
And even the times he would say only did that bit to fill up
another two minutes. Just that there's a line that
I've never understood and I wonder if you can if there's an
obvious joke, I'm missing but when he when he first knocks,
he's told it there's next door, he says curse, it's always next
door in China. Yeah.
It's a special racial joke actually about the eyes.
All right, what the rude one about standing in toilets.
Okay I'll stop there shot. I'm so yeah right all right then
all these are you cringe at them now but that the currency at the
time this is all these jokes. It's like the one in here about
There was going the other way. It's an old, very rude.
Joe racist, joke. Like, it's his turn in the
barrel. Oh, yes.
I know that is all Races looks currency of the time.
Before we go any further, did you have a particular favorite
character in the Goon show? Overall, Oh difficult alone.
I think like everyone I started off with Echols and bluebottle
their exchanges were always wonderful to behold and it's
changes over the years. It was for some time as men and
Henry, I'd love million him was B.
I also like Nettie, see going either with grip type thing or
web love, not that. That timing of those two
together is absolutely brilliant.
Just lately. I think I've come to really
appreciate that. As well as greenslade.
Oh, yes, he doesn't quite send himself up, but he almost as
well as Andrew Timothy was straight.
Absolutely straight. And he got the impression.
He didn't like the show very much doing it for the money
Wallace greenslade. You can't.
I mean even in this he says, oh greenslade.
How can they afford you? He's obviously loving it.
And and this is peace in here about Some woman in course it's
make an absolutely good program and the other bit but Yin Tong
did lipo isn't currency. They are beautifully done you
know just slight Touch of send up.
I will. Which would culminate in the
green suit story. Yes, sex.
Yeah. You mentioned about the the line
about the corsets. So yes.
So that there's a, there's a sequence where greenslade, the
he says, ladies and gentleman. While our heroes are getting
that certain English piano up onto the stage of the secret
Chinese Navy. I'd like to draw your attention
to page 52 of this week's video times it shows a three-quarter
rear view of a lady wearing. A pair of corsets would like to
point out that this is an advertisement and not a program,
etc, etc. Now Of course, I did.
I went to, I knew, I just thought I will.
I will check. And I looked at the radio times
for the week that all the week before, since the week, that I
guess might would have been Writing spike in Eric would have
been writing trying to story and I Look to page 52, which was the
back cover of the radio times. Sure enough there is a woman
wearing corsets, wow. And it's what is it here?
But it here, the high-waist girdle.
The new back-end, you stroke back new back and
self-adjusting, front. Fist bump.
I'd like to think that Spike or Eric, the, with David, just sort
of leafing through the radio times or it was, you know, it
was on the coffee table and they just saw that and thought,
right? Let's make a gag out of that,
you know, where as and the thing is, it gets that gets repeated
When they make it again in 56 and I did go and check that
weeks radio times and know there was there was no corsets on the
back of that that's the other thing is butchered the second
time around another reason which we think they've been drinking
because you get Echoes and bluebottle shadowing greensly.
Yes you do it kind of ruins a point that joke for me I thought
you know I don't mind I don't mind them doing it and tell him
to shut up. But I feel here the ruining a
good guy. Ladies and gentlemen, while our
heroes are getting the certain English piano up onto the stage
of the secret Chinese neffe. I would like to draw your
attention to the back page of this week's radio time.
It shows a three-quarter semi profile view of a distinguished
lady. Wearing a pair, of course it
will you shut up? He has inclusion of equals.
Yeah. Oh, by the way, Sorry, I meant
to what I normally do with, with green shows of this period,
there's always a or the tends to be a synopsis in the radio times
which often Bears no or very little resemblance to the actual
shows plot but but there is for this, there is a synopsis which
I will read. So it's from, as I say, 18th of
January 1955, 8:30, the Goon show China story during the year
of the Surprising when the Far East from Shanghai to Peking was
seething with spies and arms Smugglers raffle.
See goon a swaggering racketeer and part-time dustman was
approached by Mandarin grit paper thin and general cash.
My check to join them in the most staggering International
Financial coup of all time. And then there's a list of
characters, very few of whom actually appear.
Fred Foo Manchu played by Peter Sellers raffle Siegen, which of
course, he wasn't Raffles in the in the show.
Kowloon Mick teeth. Spike Milligan are pong played
by Harry seek him this time it was it was spiked in the actual
show. Beachcomber are calls Mission
reek run and missionary banister.
And there's no I mean, Eric was in many on in the show like you
say and it goes on to say, Harry, C comes appearing in
Cinderella at the Hippodrome theater Coventry, okay.
This just doesn't it Bears. No resemblance to the Will show
really, does it? Do we know how long before the
show these things had to be put into the radio times?
Yeah, I don't know. You'd have thought it would have
to be as few weeks only. Yeah.
So basically it may be where he started.
It's not where he finished. Yes.
Yet the idea of a China drama. Yeah, exactly.
And all his stuff when you started examine it.
It's amazing how much of it is actually topical, isn't it?
And like you say the NASA quote, And Shanghai shape, and the
references to was it, a need to stop us something in the first
10. So right, Ava Scott, this is
dangerous to Godless. And so, blue bottle, later on
when Blue Bottle appears, he only talks about Grace Kelly,
rather simple, insidiously thing.
Yeah. Grace Kelly.
And William Holden isn't it in the, in the film bridges of Toko
Checker ryori? Yeah.
Which is about a Navy fighter pilot, who is married to Grace
Kelly or something like that. But Grace, get that would have
been around the time. When did she marry Prince?
Rainier was that? It was around this time.
Wasn't it? 55 56?
Something like that and then she retired.
So that would have been one of the last films owners but no Ava
Scott so bleep ugly but at one point says, let's play the Ava
Scott being fired game, right? Avis car.
Hot. Was an actress who she was
never. You know, she was never any
great shakes as an actress out. Thing that she she went on to
become a BBC TV continuity announcer in 1954.
She got she got the job but then she was, she was it seems rather
cruel. Very cruel.
She was fired. In January 1955.
So, when the show goes out, she was fired for being too sexy to
glamorous too sexy. I don't know about employment
tribunals in 1955, but surely to God should have had a case and
they exist back. Then I'm afraid and in and got
some work on the notoriety of it though.
Yeah. Yeah.
In the, in the remake of China story.
It's Diana dors. Yeah.
Yes, will notice current Lori, wasn't it.
Someone threw in a swimming pool and a husband of the time.
I'm just someone in the face for doing.
So, it was that Dennis Hamilton's, that isn't it?
Yeah, yeah. I gather he was a pretty nasty
piece of work, really? Yeah.
I think she's quite attracted to not see pieces of work.
So back to the show. So yeah, we get the introduction
of blood Mark and then blood not take. it's him by steamer to
this missionary where the piano is and while on the steamer,
they rescue a drowning man who turns out to be He's coming one.
He's coming to a poor Wayfarer. I'm on Annie.
Well, hell, did you see that coming?
No, no, no. The last one, the one in the
bushes I saw coming but I didn't see that one coming.
Yes it's a doll for sprigs again making it gets the easy thing.
It tossed overboard. But soon, as I realize it's him
at the mission, henrique run is auctioning, the piano.
This is where there's lots of towels inserted into words and
lots of Chinese voices, and cackling, and all the rest of
it. Descends into James, Joyce,
gibberish, doesn't it? It's just eventually becomes.
It starts off as three pounds ten and it becomes, Bing, Bong,
blue typical spike in those Ning Nang.
In the like, Yes. Love sounds like that.
Yeah yeah and then we find out that the grip part of my reality
of put a bomb in the piano and it will explode, when the middle
a is played and then then they go to yangzi Province.
They meet Blue Bottle, who's going to take them to the
Chinese naafi, where cash my check is not feel of that point.
There's when they ask blue Bottle identified himself.
I actually prefer the original where he's got a Chinese dragon
tattoo hmm rather than the LCC sports shoes.
Hmm, I find it works better with.
I got a director of the thing about I've got what things
weather got a Chinese dragon tattoo.
It's typical bluebottle whereas LCC sports shoes, doesn't really
Mass story as well as Chinese dragon tattoo.
That's true. Now, that's you right there.
Is you'd like, yeah, you won. If there's a been, there's been
a bit of tinkering with the script for the Remake and they
do seem to be a lot more loose. The, the Remake was, it all came
about because the general overseas service requested, that
special edition of the Goon show should be recorded at the radio
exhibition, which was very highly regarded at the time as
court, and it was going to be broadcast there.
Today was going to be broadcast recorded in August of had been
broadcast in September and their producer.
At the time they regular producer.
Pat Dixon was was unable to actually make that show so they
actually interesting. They went back to the original
producer. Dennis made Wilson, who would
note the Torah is for being free and easy?
Peter, eat a loser hard Taskmaster but there's one bit
in the, the story where, Blood loss.
So you gonna do you speak Chinese just a smattering.
We going through Bandit country. I speak fluent Blind Bandit.
It's in the original script of Series 5 but it was cut out.
All right? Molly.
It must have been a producer decision, time or whatever.
Did that little bit? And yeah, it's a good bit of
comic dialogue. It makes its way into the Remake
quite right, too. Absolutely.
Yeah. That that is a Good line.
It was going to be recorded at olds court for the radio
exhibition on Friday, the 24th of August, and I think it was
going to be it was going to be recorded originally in the
evening or late afternoon at least.
And then as I understand it Peter Sellers was committed to.
He was he was shooting the smaller Show on Earth that week,
wonderful film. Yeah and just because of filming
commitments they brought forward the time According to lunchtime
on the Friday 24th of August. So this was recorded at
lunchtime. So it makes you wonder what you
do it did. They had they had an early lunch
with his spikes. That's great about the makeup of
the audience that there's someone in the audience with the
baby. Now after the recorded, this
episode Spike did half an hour taking questions.
I think on what they call the celebrity dais I'm from 3:00
p.m. and one other thing as well about this remade, show Spike,
put in a plug for I'm walking back as a Christmas and I think
as well, that this was the first gun show to feature Moriarty
doing the owl. Guess he brings enough.
The first hour when the program is from grip, pipe thickens.
It. Yes, he's always obviously Spike
experiment. You can see Moriarty and grip.
Pipe thin a two identical in some ways.
It's like different characters are French one on the English,
upper class one, but they clash and doing the same thing, rather
than become a team. And you get the impression, he's
experimenting. How can I change this a little
bit? And as you say outcomes, The Owl
and it just develops develops from there.
Just thing the, I always say that my My now my favorite
pairing, if you like is late-period gripped by the
Moriarty, yes, do you want us both out of this suit?
Yes, that is. That is one of my favorite lines
in all the green shows. You know what, I would love at
some stage and be lucky to rewrite.
Roger will much book and bring it up to date and so on.
Hmm, there's a lot missing but I'd love to have a sort of list
bit of some of the description of this of grid pipe like here,
I could a man looking down from the top of Isosceles triangle
upon foremost was the one he says in here.
Oh, two-legged gray-headed man, going bald at the knees that
sort of thing. And another thing is Moriarty
intros, you know, that the way that gripped by this latest
series, that the favorite has to be European barbed wire hurdling
Champion tragic accident, wonderful line.
I'd love to have some of the regiment's of get mentioned, you
know, the Bomb by Iris. The filth muck usally ISM and
blood, Mark Songs would be great of a list of the songs of blood
knocks sings in. It, wouldn't it?
Yes, The Darjeeling walk to wherever it is and also more.
I'd love to know the backstory about blood Market.
Many or would I am not sure if I would have one of many, many
would be wouldn't we never were. Okay, what's your take on Minion
Henry in terms of their relationship?
What is that? Is it either in sister?
Is it? What is it?
Oh, dear. As an older man is what I am.
I can quite imagine just being companions is to control his
cheap with his one. So two old people having to
share a house and even a bid is entirely chased and they're just
companions to each other. That's my personal view on it.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't like to think of anything.
See the other than that Out to pasture.
Well, you get the impression that although many might be up
for it, Henry certainly. Yeah, that was strange that
those blood look songs in the dopest sprigs is that Harry
seeking does very little singing Disney in the gun show.
This is our first series, he gets a spot but after that he's
limited to there'll always be an England and that bit in them
toes. Well, Dartmoor where he sings
riding the stagecoach, up with the Dartmoor prison on the back
of it, going off the France and again, he It has a song and then
whatever side is it under to floorboards?
He sings at Boots song, boots, boots.
Boots, boots, tramping over Africa.
Again again, it is a humorous. Register is done by Milligan and
sellers. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. And then we get to this bit
where, yes, I've got this bomb and obviously the bomb will
detonate when the middle Is played and the Chinese pianist
doesn't actually. Play more than the first 11
notes. Isn't it clever, though, how
they must he must have known this tune to start off with is
beautifully done. Isn't it?
That the lead-up to just that a? It's just absolutely perfect,
isn't it? Yeah, we must have heard the
tune in mind, when you put it together, a lot thing, you can
signal. It is, a clever, gets a clever
idea, and a clever game. And obviously grip under
Moriarty a furious because because he's not, The a but then
but then of course, Adolphus Briggs turns up again and this
is a real nice payoff. Ah shit, Moriarty, he hasn't
played the note. Oh he's missed it again.
Chinese gentleman don't flirt. Your dear fiendish penis can't
play the piano so I'll sing you another medal.
You could. I have an a plea
damn clever. These Chinese
That's a very good point, very good point.
So yeah. So do we are equals no many blue
bottle Cuts in is as well as giving the the end credits happy
because he wasn't dead. Let me roll many shows where he
was embedded as greenslade story.
Of course, brings to mind when he turns up at the end saying
winds light and variable. Yes.
He's only line of the whole thing.
Yeah, he's something. I remember, that's, that's
there's a, there's a handful of doing shows when Blue Bottle
either doesn't appear or only has one line often at the end.
I remember when I first used to listen to these, when I was a
teenager, Major. Because at the time, I was so
fond of bluebottle I would be thinking drums along the mersey
Springs to mind cuz I think Blue balls, not actually in that show
at all and at the end from off almost like from off, mic
bluebottle, shouts. Hey, why wasn't I in this week?
It's the same with China Story, the first one because I can't
think the next program is now in the series but Echoes terms at
the beginning and makes a crack about not being in last week's
show. Yes there is around this time of
Series 5. There is Certain degree of
continuity. This isn't there?
Because you have famously. You have the chains gag from the
white box of great. Bad field.
Yes. That then turns up at the
beginning of the future. Yes.
Carries On To The Next program.
It does. Yeah.
Which, by the way I have decided now, officially that the white
box a great Battlefield, is my favorite gun show?
That's three that I always think that your favorite is the first
one you here, because Is it just knocks you out as being so
funny? The standard is so high.
I could pick at least 10 favorite gun shows, but I do
have a big affection for Tales of old Dartmoor in was the first
I heard and introduce me properly to the world of the
Google's. Well as I'm sure you know,
because I've banged on about it before the first one I ever
heard was the last smoking sea green which first?
Well, no, I still think back on that.
Extremely fun leaves the first one I heard and it was just so
weird and in some ways I think you could have been a different
show, would it have ripped it? Because I heard it by accident
purely by accident had I heard maybe another show which was a
bit less frenetic. You feel like maybe it wouldn't
have lured me in quite so much. I don't know.
But I've got a lot of affection for that show.
Yeah it was that it was a last one.
All right, as well as green side says.
The end of it. But yeah I saw article in the
last edition of the Goon show preservation Society oh yes
Duncan Gray wrote the article, that's right.
Yeah very good very very good. And if you got anything else
about China story about this, you know, the the original or
the Remake anything in particular that you wanted to
touch on the, we haven't discussed already.
The only other thing is not quite related trying to story,
but gunshot as a whole is signature tune.
I mean, I love the signals to cocoon pod.
Oh, he's great. Oh, thank you.
Well, that's composed by Adam Leslie.
Who was my first guest and he's been, he's been a guest a couple
times and he was the guy who kind of pushed me into doing
this, really lovely. Yeah, so he came up with that.
I didn't ask him. In fact, he came up with that
and he also came up with the the, you know, the graphic, the
green going partner logo. If you like So all the credit to
Adam but you know this there's never an introduction to be
tuned to the Goon show. It just leaps straight in,
doesn't it Hancock's half hour? Starts off with a brass
instrument, whatever it is Timber.
Whatever it is opposed by Molly stop by the way more than likely
aresome. Huh?
And there's nothing at the start and the ending it varies.
You've got guns Gallop. Yeah Lucky Strike.
Old comrades and dingdong the witch is It which I think that
good go. Be honest.
Maybe you'll calm raises the best of them.
Fits the tone of the gun show. I was always fond of goons
Gallop. Yeah.
But again, it's very much of its time and suppose Lucky Strikes a
bit looser. Yeah.
And then yeah, they never seem to be able to decide on the
after about series 8. They could never really decide
on what the end theme tune should be, it would it would
vary, wouldn't they like, it would be old comrades, March, it
would be Ding Dong. The Witch Is Dead, they never
seem to nail that. Did they know is if they gave no
thought to it whatsoever, what could we have in our got this
one here? I will play that one.
Quite like to goon show theme. I think actually the first the
first because there's a couple of as you know there's a couple
of recordings exist of Series 2 here shows.
And I think those shows begin with a truncated version of goon
Gallup, don't they? I think there's the announcement
and then you get a little bit of theme tune at the beginning.
Which is, which is more in keeping with is because it's
more of a variety show at that period, isn't it?
Yeah, it was more variety show that it was sketchy, as well as
catches. Yeah.
And wasn't until Peter eaten. Became it would become less of
sketches and more of a story. I wonder as well because really
from Series 5 onwards, we have all the shows and there's
there's quite a number of shows now from series for that exist
Series 5. I think is when it really sort
of kicked into gear as oh yeah that's definitely there is fine
as well but like I say some of those series for I'd love to her
remakes of them. I mean the man who tried this
Droid London's Monument up to her that expanded to the whole
show instead of just 2/3 of it. Mmm and the end and Garcia
experiments of hands. Either Burger.
Yeah, another one, there's lots. I mean, goon again.
Did Spanish Armada and Change the ending for the better in my
opinion. You know, I'm certain that Spike
could have done this, who got these shows and just Prove to
me. Now, lengthen, a little bit and
made them into and I think the Vintage goons series there's
some crackers. Oh yeah.
But I wonder whether they would have been even better had they
not been recorded at the same time as the series 8 episodes
because there was just if they were given the luxury of just,
you know for example instead of like having series 9, they know
they did series 8 and then said okay we're going Do a whole
series of remakes and I think they could have done it after
Series 7 to some extent gift, spike a prank.
Hmm, a whole year off is have 26 remakes, and then it will come
back with fresh ideas for the next series of.
I just one, I mean, I know Peter Sellers was and Restless feet
and wanted to become a Hollywood star and so on.
But I just wonder if it extended the life of the Goon show and
little bit further, sir, if they made that decision there with
it, let's have some remakes quite possibly.
Yeah. Yeah.
Although series 9 was so strong series 10 is quite variable, but
patchy, but series, 9 more or less most shows.
In that series, a strong II think I agree.
I always felt that she was nine. Could have been the last series
of almost finished on a wonderful note.
If Harry cecum, hadn't been ill for the 50-pound killer area,
because the end of that all singing will gather live looks
as chickens. It's just I just fall about just
thinking about it right now. I'm still laughing thinking
about it, but they Camry isn't right for it.
He just hasn't got the Charisma that Harry seek him as God.
And what's kind of Connor? Isn't it?
50 pound Q DK. Murray is spun, isn't he?
Hang on, I'll take your word for it.
I'm just, I'm just checking now. Yes, dick Amory was.
So seeking was off for the first show of series 8 which was spawn
and Dick Henry covered for him and the It's series 50-pound.
Cure seeking wasn't there and was Kenneth Connor.
Yeah, again it never quite got it, it was just strange.
Real. And Kenneth Connor was a good
comedy actor and a receiving gonna replay himself.
God is strange of the host. So much of the Goon show is
built around, a man. Who's the worst actor of the
three of them? Yeah.
Have you ever seen Davey or sunstruck?
Fuck Todai. I think Dave is good.
I like Davy. It's interest is the last
evening comedy ever that. But as a very downbeat film
though isn't instead of going on for fame stardom and love, he
decides to go back to his old team to see things.
They need them. Yeah.
Now that yeah, there's some for annealing comedy, there's a lot.
There's a bit of a downer really?
Yeah, you got better krebons in an uncredited from the late.
Recently late lamented burning driven scenario.
Yes, uncredited role in that, okay?
All right, we're Roger great, as I say great to speak with you
and we will definitely catch up again next year.
That would be terrific. I do enjoy the toe.
I'd love to Journey up to Manchester and share a beer or
something in there. That's where the new production
of the show, first, aired on January the 18th 1955, how do
you see cam is now appearing in rocking the town at the London
Palladium, and Max geldray. And variety at the Empire
Theater, Glasgow.