You. Have deceived me.
Deceived me, thinking that you were a traitor.
Rise, my friend. Mr. Bonacieu.
What am I to say? I find that our suspicions about
you were entirely unjust. Cardinalist.
Taken my hand and call me friend.
Oh, we must make you better amends than that.
Take these hundreds, pistolis, and forgive me.
I forgive your Eminence. You cannot mean that.
I mean, what am I? I am nothing.
A better I'm. I'm.
I'm less than nothing. Friend, you are generous.
Well then, you. Oh, that is still.
Our. Wife, I hope that you will come
to visit me again so that we can talk together and tell our next
meeting. Did you hear that?
We're going to talk together? Isn't that lovely?
How did you hear? That I think I have done all
that can be done with him. I've.
Set him to spy upon his wife. He didn't think I was fighting
with him, buddy. The all for one and one for all.
Absolutely. I'll see what you did there.
Very good. Thank you.
So listen, you're listening to to Goonpod and last time my
guests were on we were talking about a film which included a
bit with Spike Milligan with a with a big long white beard.
In the Bastille in 17th century France.
And we figured, why not continue that theme.
So my guests have come back to talk about another film with
Spike Mulligan in 17th century France.
I'd like to introduce Christopher Webb and Robert
Johnson. Hello, chaps.
Hello. What Hope?
Hello. Hey.
Thank you for having us back. Not a little bit.
My pleasure. You are the the the gentleman
behind the ever popular, still Winning Good podcast.
Well, you're half right. Silent.
And at the beginning of that, Hey Tyler, it's always lovely to
hear your sweetly mirthless voice again.
Oh, you bastard. You went there, God almighty.
Yeah, I've got to. I've got to.
People don't understand. People won't understand that
reference, but. I got a very nice the show.
The podcast got a very nice review on Apple Podcasts.
It's not iTunes anymore, is it? And and I was.
I was referred to as sweetly Mirthless or something like
that, and I just thought, damning with faint praise, that
isn't it. Emphasis on sweet, I think.
Yeah. But they also said that you
clearly have contacts, which if if they knew the contacts that
you're speaking to tonight. 2 middle-aged men sitting in a
garage in the middle of the night.
In. They'd probably take.
That back in New Zealand, In New Zealand, I do have contacts.
I'm wearing them now. Hey, but you know what?
I I just listened to your Ladykillers episode a few days
ago, and you had quite a few chortles on that.
Oh, yeah. There's quite a bit of mirth in
that. Yeah, there.
You go. It's not.
It's not completely humorless this podcast, you know.
There's one for the poster. It's not completely human.
OK, so yeah, so last time you were on, we were talking about
Mel Brooks, History of the World, Part one, which which
went down a storm, very enjoyable.
And during the course of that conversation, I don't know how
it came out, but we, we, The Three Musketeers came up in
conversation. The 1973 film.
And we we said, hey, you know, that's something to squirrel
away for the future. I think we may even even have
said that we'd do both the Three and the four Musketeers.
But God, I don't think either of us.
I think we agreed to do a crossover.
You were going to do The Four Musketeers for our podcast?
OK, cool. OK.
Well that's something for maybe next year or something we we
need to as well because I'm really keen to Kings has watched
the follow up I'll watch all this about.
It. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, this is only half a film, of course, famously.
Well that's the thing because I haven't, I I've seen both.
I mean obviously I've seen, I've watched rewatched The Three
Musketeers for this, but I haven't seen the Four Musketeers
since I was a kid. So I'm, I'm intrigued just
because obviously as as we'll go into the the The Three
Musketeers and the Four Musketeers, well, it was, it was
all filmed together wasn't it? And then split into two.
Yeah, essentially. It was supposed to be 1/3 hour
epic. Yeah, with an intermission.
Yeah. But look, today we're focusing
on The Three Musketeers by virtue of the fact, as I alluded
to before, that it does feature Spike Milligan in a role, in a
bigger role than I actually thought in the sense that he's
in the film quite a bit. Really.
Isn't he? Actually, yeah.
And he actually does have some agency in it as well.
He he does something rather than turn off and be Spike Milligan,
he he does play a sort of vital role in it.
He's actually a character. Yeah, yeah.
That's what I was surprised to see.
He he they brought him in clearly to be himself.
He's he's not sort of acting as a character.
He's coming to be Spike, yeah, But it does actually have some
sort of significance on the rest.
Had to learn lines and everything.
Absolutely, yeah. Had to act.
Yeah, absolutely. We'll come to him in a bit.
So yes, we're talking about the the 1973 Three Musketeers
directed by Richard Lester and chaps, I want to kick off by
asking you a little bit of a a poser here.
OK, what do these, what do these have in common?
All right, Lord of the Rings, the yellow.
Do you know the answer to this? Oh, do you?
Well, pretend you don't. I'd have a guess as well, yeah.
OK, The Lord of the Rings, The yellow teddy bears up against
it. A talent for loving.
And The Three Musketeers? What do they have in common?
Well, I'm, I'm not sure about those middle 2, but I'm assuming
it's going to be something to do with The Beatles.
We're going to star and intended to star and I.
Was going to go for something to do with Christopher Lee and
teaching people how to fence? Chris Lee teaching people as
they went along because he taught a lot of people out
talking during Lord of the Rings and he taught Oliver Reed how to
fence. Well.
In a previous film you did. Well, Chris, sorry Robert, you
you win the bun because yes, they, they were all muted as
film projects for The Beatles at one time or another.
OK, the yellow teddy bears. I mean Jesus.
You know it. Never heard of that.
One up against it was a proposed Joe Orton porno.
It was a homoerotic. It was homoerotic script, which
Brian Epstein vetoed. A talent for Loving was
actually, despite the name, was going to be like a cowboy film
with The Beatles. OK, so The Beatles.
You know, The Beatles had made one.
Truly great film and one pretty good film.
So Hard Days Night and Help OK, which were both directed by
Richard Lester and Lester, had worked with Spike Milligan and
Peter Sellers on the early Fred shows on TV and the running,
Jumping and Standing still film, and that was why he was deemed
the ideal director to direct The Beatles.
OK, so there's that connection now, actually, if The Beatles
had made. 3 Musketeers, yeah. Who would have played?
What role do you reckon are? You reading my notes because
linen this down as well. Linen would be ethos.
I think George would be d'artagnan, right?
Oh, I was going to go Paul for d'artagnan.
Really. No, I was going to go Ringo
Ringo for d'artagnan. Oh wow.
Oh, Ringo's. Porthos.
Ringo's clearly Porthos. I had Ringo's Athos.
Well, didn't I? Didn't I put Ringo for because
because it is. Because it is George's Aramis.
Because he's sort of the monest that priestly.
Sort of. One, but he's the young, very
pretty. He's the young one.
He's not. He's not like a protagonist,
does he? He's not like a main character.
Is he George I? Suppose.
No, the reason the reason I put Ringo for D'artagnan is is
generally considered that of the four, Ringo was the best actor.
And in this film, D'artagnan's got the most to do, isn't he?
Well, D'artagnan's sort of the hero, isn't it?
Yeah. It couldn't be.
Ringo is Itanian because he's
not even the best fencer in the Musketeers.
Yeah, I tell you, I'll be Pete Best.
Jimmy Nickel, Victor Spinetti Because Victor Spinetti.
It was written in In In Blood that Victor Spinetti must always
appear in a Beatles film. So he'd have been, he'd have
been. Cardinal Richelow, I reckon,
Yeah, yeah, George Martin would have been in.
His Texas pizza voice, wouldn't he?
Yeah, no, I I I definitely see Lennon as sort of the brooding
ethos type character. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we're all agreed.
Well, I'm agreed and you're agreed.
Rob Lennon is Athos. Yeah, yeah.
We just get to argue for an hour now, aren't we?
About this is going to be the whole, whole episode.
Yeah, Tyler, I don't mean to interrupt, but just I'm not sure
if you can hear a whole lot of fireworks in the background.
This is going to make, I don't know, the recording really,
really great, but that is of course, Guy Fox Night.
Yes, it's November the 5th, it's the evening of November the 5th
and a lot of my neighbours seem to be setting off fireworks in
their gardens. Yeah, so apologies for that in
advance. No, I can't hear a thing.
Oh, that's good. But you will.
Hopefully, Hopefully, I will. Yeah.
So, OK, so Richard Lester, he did those Beatles films and he
directed John Lennon in How I Won the War at the end of the
60s. He directed a big screen version
of Spike's Bed, Sitting Room, Bed.
Sitting. Room.
Yeah, Which was, Which is a pretty good film, but it wasn't
particularly successful. And then soon after that.
He was. He was going to begin work on a
motion picture adaptation of Flashman, which is the George
MacDonald Fraser novel, which is brilliant.
I mean, if you read any of the freshman books.
I have, yes, and they are delightful.
They are. They're great.
Tremendous, aren't they? Yeah, absolutely.
And he, of course, wrote the screenplay for this.
That's right, because they couldn't get financing for
Flashman at the time. It wasn't as a guaranteed.
Winner as as Three Musketeers. But I think a couple of years
later I made a terrible Flashman film with Malcolm McDowell.
It's. Not strong, no.
No, no it's not. But apparently list The Wanted
Malcolm McDowell for D'artagnan and.
Which I could see that absolutely.
I could see that if you said to me, OK, I mean I I think Michael
Yorke is fine, but I could equally see Malcolm McDowell in
that role. I I just, I see Malcolm McDowell
as a an evil person for something.
I mean, I just it. Would have been a different.
It would have been a much darker dark tenion, if you will.
Yeah, but you're thinking of him maybe from his, you know, from
Clockwork Orange. I'm thinking of him from oh
Lucky, oh Lucky Man. He plays a very sort of every
man character in oh Lucky Man, kind of fresh faced and slightly
naive. So I'm.
I'm thinking of him like that. But yeah, so the Flashman film.
The, the. The.
Lester was working on or hoping to get off the ground.
It was, it was going to feature or star John Alderton, who at
that time was famous on TV as please, Sir.
Yeah, Mr. Hedges, was it from. Please Sir, something like that.
Yeah. I don't think.
I can't remember. Please.
Right. Please, Sir.
And I know, Rob, you're younger than me, but I don't think it.
Was ever on TV in New Zealand? It certainly wasn't when I, you
know it wasn't repeated. I've never heard of it.
No, really. No sitcom set in a classroom
where the pupils were clearly not school age 30.
Yeah. Oh, easily.
Easily sounds like head of the class.
Oh God. Some of them were older than
John Alderson. It was like Greece.
Right. Duffy, do you know how to work
one of these things? Oh boy.
Fancy. Trust an expensive piece of
equipment or a little child. It's a load of old rubbish that
should have been scrapped years ago.
That's why I'm trusting it to a little child, Duffy.
Hurtful. Cheek hurtful here.
Cheek. Is that true?
We got a student teacher coming to dating.
Yes, Big Ears it is. Chart Is it a young lady Abbott?
I believe so. They're all charts to me.
Pardon. Yes, Sir.
There's no chance, this being a
love film, is there? Not unless Greek architecture
will get you going. Now shall.
I've only seen it since I've been in the UK.
Yeah, it was. It was one of those students
going through menopause and things like.
That it is yet another one of those British sitcoms that had
the not so great film adaptation containing the same cast where
they all go on holiday and it all goes wrong with like a scene
with boobs in it. It was.
They were still in school, so OK, probably, yeah, but they're
played by 42 year olds. Yeah, well, to give you an idea
of how old the pupils are, one of them was played by.
Rita Danya, who plays Ralph Dring in Dear John.
Yes, the one with the mobile discotheque, that's how old they
were. And that was only like 10 years
later. And and and and there was a spin
off series as well called The Fence St.
Gang. Yes, that's right.
But yes, so John Alderson was, obviously he was.
That would mean the Flashman film if if if it had been made,
it could have, it really could have, You know, Alderton's
career could have skyrocketed off the back of that, but sadly,
certainly not. But I think, yeah, it came down
to money pretty much because. They were going to need like,
like thousands of extras to represent the British Army in
Kabul, for example, you know what I mean?
And it's not something that you could have filmed in real.
You know that. Carry on up the car.
Yeah, yeah. And and Lester, you know, around
this point, Lester was. Wasn't able to, you know, he
couldn't make anything because he was attempting to make a film
called Send Him Victorious, which was based on a novel by
later Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd.
Oh wow. Yeah, Which I'd never heard of,
but it was, it was a thriller and it was, it was going to, it
would have starred Ralph Richardson.
It was. And it was about get this right,
a right wing takeover of the UK. Oh, that would never.
Happen. No, I can't imagine.
But yeah, United Artists didn't stump up the cash for that.
So anyway, so he wasn't having a great time.
He was offered A Clockwork Orange but didn't want didn't
want to do it because of the sex and violence he had eaten that
day. Yeah.
Not a chocolate orange. Oh, sorry.
Yeah. So, so he was making, he was
making TV commercials basically around this time early 70s and
then he was approached by the I'm not sure how he pronounced
it. Is it Selkind or Selkind
Brothers? I say selkind, Yeah, I say
selkind, but you say selkind. Let's call the whole thing off.
They wanted to produce this big film adaptation of The Three
Musketeers and. They they pitched it right as a
big sexy film with big sexy stars.
That's fair enough. But he interpreted it as he
wanted it to be like an irreverent take on a classic
adventure yarn. And I think kind of the thinking
the reason that Lester was approached was because he'd
previously proven himself adept at directing, you know, a
quartet of amusing, unpredictable characters.
With The Beatles. So they thought, you know,
perhaps he could be the the ideal man for this.
And yeah, he went and he obviously he made that
connection with George MacDonald Fraser previously.
So he asked him to write the screenplay and do a Flashman on
it. And yeah, I think the film, it,
it sticks quite closely to the novel.
I mean the Flashman books. How would you, how would you
describe the Flashman books, the sort of historic, historical,
humorous body? Yeah.
Baldy. Most definitely.
But they are. They are as far as I can tell.
They are historically factual, but with a a fictional character
at the helm and plenty of sauce. Heaving bosoms.
Pretty much what they are, yeah. He was the the school bully from
Tom Brown. That is right.
Yes, yeah, he was a rogue. And I think if I remember
correctly, and he, his whole career is based on people
thinking that he's more heroic and honourable than he actually
is. You know what I mean?
Yeah, he's cared. Absolutely.
He's a cat. Yeah.
A lot of the books feature him wanting to have sex with his
wife, Alspis, but she's always away having sex with other men
anyway. And yeah, the film was going to
be about four hours long and then they decided to split it in
half. And they didn't tell the didn't
tell the actors. Wow.
Until the premiere, they found out that the film they were
going to see was just going to be the first half of it.
Yeah, apparently some of them didn't even know up to that.
Point No, they didn't. None of.
I think some of the crew didn't know, but the cast certainly
didn't know. And the count hit them ruefully
and said two for the price of 1. Charlton millionaire Heston is
fine with it, but everyone else not so happy.
Well, yeah, because they didn't get, they didn't get paid.
God, they got paid for one film basically, didn't they?
Yeah. Yeah, it's awful.
And and then thereafter the Screen Actors Guild of inserted
the the cell kind Cell kind clause.
Not to be confused with the other cell kind clause.
The Santa Claus. Yeah, yeah, the Southland
clause. Starrington Allen, Yeah.
Oh no. Well, they made the Santa.
They made Santa Claus, the movie The Sarkones.
So that was their Sarkone. Clause Yeah, we're making Santa
Claus. Here's the Sarkone clause.
But they they sort of learned their lesson by the time they
came to producing Superman, because they did film, quite
famously, Superman One and Superman 2 back-to-back and.
Clearly told the actors this time and then brought in Richard
Lester to finish it off. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah. There's some similarities,
definitely. And the universe of this is when
you have movies that are planned to be one thing.
I'm thinking of that final two Harry Potter films that was only
going to be one film and only warranted one film, and then
they split that into that must have been a great payday for
Daniel Radcliffe and Co. They were just like, oh, all
right, yeah. Played again.
Fantastic. Yeah.
Which again is fair enough.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because the producers are getting 2 paydays, why should
they exactly? And and of course, at the end of
this film, 3 Musketeers, you get a trailer, don't you?
For for the Four Musketeers, which and I was chomping at the
butt to watch the Four Musketeers.
So we've got to, we've got to plan this.
Yes, yeah. Well, it made me think of it.
Brought to mind. And I couldn't think of any
other films that have done this, but it brought to mind Back to
the Future 2, yeah? You know, because they feel.
Yeah, I was. I was thrilled to bits when I
went to see Back to the Future two at the cinema and and
straight afterwards. Here's what's coming next.
It was great. It was really good.
I I really enjoyed. I enjoyed Back to Future Two
more than Back to the Future, and it's only recently that I've
seen Back to the Future 3. Which is not bad, my least
favorite. Yeah, it's oh.
I like it. I like it very much.
Do you? Yeah.
Yeah, I do actually. Yeah, I think it's.
I think it goes back to the formula of the first one, which
is just a linear story, and I found the second one.
It's a bit of a mess. I love the.
Second one. The second one sort of ties
itself up in its own mythology, and it breaks its own rules
occasionally, which I'm not a fan of.
I don't know. They tell you this thing about
timelines and then they actually break the rule by them being
there in the future anyway, where they shouldn't be because
they travelled there and stuff like that, yeah, Which I would
say I'm reading too much into it, but they created these.
Rules. I think the future, The future
is 2015, isn't it? If I'm right, yeah.
And where they've got like, where's my flying skateboard?
Yeah, hoverboard things. Wearing two ties to work.
They're fax machines. That's the future fax machines.
Where are my 3D holographic trailers?
Your prompter, even though you're not running, but you did
hurt my shoulder. I trusted with nothing
Convenience you, Sir, if you wish to postpone our meeting, by
no means. I fight just as well with my
left hand. If you find this places you at
the disadvantage, I do apologize.
You're very courteous, Sir. I was going to add about your
wound. I have an ointment of my
mother's. You might be soothing you
overwhelming. Young man, I'm going to give up
the early. Oh heck up my seconds.
Are you fighting this fellow? But I'm meeting him myself.
But not till 1:00, Sir. Oh no, no, no.
I'm to fight him myself. At 2:00, Sir.
How long you been in Paris? Since 8:00 this morning.
You waste little time, Sir. My father recommended that I
find jewels. Well, let us hope you can do him
some credit. So this film I've not asked you
guys, I should have asked us at the outset.
What's your history with it? Well, I first saw this and sort
of heard of it. I think I was about 11, sort of
been 1992, maybe 1993, and they played The Three Musketeers sort
of on one weekend and then the Four Musketeers the following
weekend. And I kind of enjoyed it.
I didn't. I think a lot of the humor sort
of passed me by. I don't think I picked up a lot
of the dialogue and I was a little bit underwhelmed with
Michael York. Actually, it would have been
1993, because I think I'd already seen the the Brad Pitt.
Oh yeah, yeah. And and I was quite sort of
hyped up on that one. You know, I was, I love this,
this thing. Bryan Adams, who was the third
guy. Who was the third guy?
And? Rod Stewart Rod Stewart.
Yeah, you know, you loved. That did you the obligatory you
loved that the obligatory well it was sort of coming off the
the the Robin Hood Prince of thieves kind of high and that
was a much simpler story. Do they follow the same story?
No, it's. Not the Queen's diamonds, no.
They they sort of. That plot is basically the the
Musketeers have been disbanded by the Cardinal, who's played by
Tim Curry, jumping all the scenery that you'd imagine and
Kiefer Sutherland's Athos. Charlie Sheen's Aramis and
Oliver Platt is Porthos and Chris O'Donnell.
That sort of charisma free zone. You know it's d'artagnan and
then they go straight into that into the kind of ethos milady
history and it's very simple, very basic sort of plot.
But yeah, so I quite enjoyed this.
I I, I I enjoyed the sword play. I remember enjoying the the
sword play and then I remember really liking the Four
Musketeers, although being quite disturbed by the Four Musketeers
because it takes quite a dark turn and then hadn't really seen
it since then. OK.
What about you, Chris? I think I saw this probably in
the late 70s when it was on TV, so I would have been quite young
when I saw it, probably like about eight or nine years old
and it must have been on TV. It's one of probably one of
those films that was on ITV. On a regular basis because I do
remember seeing it a few times on TV, but since then not at
all. So the last time I saw it was
probably the early 80s and so very much like you Rob, I I'd
completely forgotten that there was any kind of humour or
slapstick in it, I think because I'd seen different versions of
the Musketeers after that, particularly the one with the
dogs. It's probably the main one that
I've seen in that they're not AS.
Drunken and craft as they are. So it was a bit of a surprise
watching this because I was really, really unprepared for
the the, the jokes, the humor, the slapstick.
I was expecting a straight Musketeer film, so it was a
little bit jarring the first time I watched it.
This time round it was really interesting.
Yeah, because I'm pretty much the same.
I hadn't seen this since the 80s, probably and.
I've seen versions. I mean, the version that I've
seen the most is. I think it's what's it called?
Mickey's 3 Musketeers? The Mickey Mouse.
Oh my. God.
Because I've got children, I read.
I actually, I've never read the book, but I've read Man in the
No Count of Monte Cristo a couple of years ago, OK?
So, but I was, you know, I was aware of The Three Musketeers
story, I suppose, but they pop up in the terrible version of
Man in the Iron Mask with Leonardo Dicaprio's.
Are they in the novel of the money?
I think they are, aren't they? So.
So the novels are The Three Musketeers, Then there's 20
years later. Yes.
And then there's, it's not called The Man in the Iron Mask.
It's called like the Vicomte, the Something.
And then there's basically a man in the Iron Mask section and
that, and they're all old by them.
Yeah, they will die basically in that one.
Sort of. Aramus and Porthos, sort of,
they go. Back Yeah.
There's sort of a bit of a heel turn.
Yeah. But they were just yeah.
Sounds a bit depressing. But the the the man in the eye
mask with Leonardo DiCaprio, he's got some pretty inspired
castings like John Malkovich is an aging ethos.
Yeah, Jeremy Irons is Aramis. Gabriel Byrne is d'artagnan and.
God is Gerard Depardieu. Yeah, Gerard Depardieu is both
US A. Frenchman No, no.
But yeah, it's not a very good film.
I haven't seen it. I haven't had the, I have seen
the the recent well, when I say recently the Kevin Reynolds
version of the Count of Monte Cristo, that's good.
With Guy Pearce and yeah, Jesus and Jesus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very good actually.
Really enjoy that. Yeah, Jim, Jim Caviezel.
Jim Caviezel. Isn't isn't he like one of those
Q Anon? People.
Very much so, yeah. He'll probably be president of
the United States in the next sometime, next thing.
Is so you know, when we watch History of the World, the the
the the French, the the It's Good to Be King sequence,
Clearly Mel Brooks was inspired by this film, wasn't he?
Surely. The chess scene?
Definitely, yeah. And Spike.
Yeah, because this was quite successful, wasn't it?
Yes, it was, Yeah, multi befter nominated, wasn't it?
Yes, yes it was. Yeah, I think was there.
I think Raquel Welsh won a Golden Globe.
Raquel Welsh won a Golden Globe. This one, quite controversially,
I think it wasn't even nominated for an Oscar for costume design,
whereas The Four Musketches, which is the same film, yeah,
won an Oscar for best costume design.
OK, which is quite strange because this one, the, the
costumes and the the set designs I think are phenomenal.
Brilliant. Absolutely.
Amazing. I told you that as we're as
we're recording I am. I have the film on in the
background just, you know, just to get me in the spirit if you
like. And and we are literally.
We are literally at the bit where Raquel Welch has stuck her
bosoms. Through the window of the sedan
chair in which. Captain Peacock Yes, Kevin
Peacock is just about to have a little fondle.
And then she it's. That sort of humor that I was a
little bit like, yeah, what's going on here then would have
been bit if it was John Inman. He sort of warms his hands.
Yeah, and then and then, oh, Roy, Kinnear has just got a kick
up the ass. There we go.
Yeah, he's a trooper in this, isn't he?
Can we talk about Roy? Can we talk about?
It yeah, we have to, yeah. Because the because because his
history with The Three Musketeers is doesn't end well,
does it? No, tragically, even now.
Maybe he survived this one. Yeah, there is a scene, yeah.
And it is him, Yeah, because they couldn't afford a stunt.
They. Couldn't get a stunt on his
size, so he had to do his own stunts and that scene.
In this way, he rides into a tree.
And falls flat on his sort of. Flat on his chest, the
collision. Yeah, so I'm amazed he made it
to four in the sequel. Surely they could have found a
jockey and put him in a fat suit?
Like Willie Carson or something? Like that.
I mean, I don't know John Savadent or someone like that,
but he's I I really enjoyed his performance on this.
Oh yeah, definitely. I think he's probably like 3
lines of dialogue but in the whole film.
But is this such a good little bumbling sidekick?
Well. OK, Roy Kinnear is always great
but he's he's he's very much. Is it fair to say he's one note
he his performance has never his performance has never varied.
They're all is. He always plays the same sort of
character, doesn't he? He always plays Veruca Salts
Bed. Yeah, he always plays Roy
Kinnear, basically, which is. Fine, which is fine.
But yeah, I mean as as we say, you know, he he was in this, he
was in obviously he was in the Four Musketeers and is it the
return of the Musketeers? Yes.
And and and that was in the late 80s and he fell off a horse, had
a heart attack and died. Fractured his pelvis and then
and then died shortly afterwards.
Yeah. And then less than ever made it.
Never made another film there, yeah.
But he plays in this film. He plays Planchon and.
The best scene with him really is, is uprooting that tree.
He saves D'artagnan's life with that tree.
You recognize. This place, yeah.
The last place on earth we were all alive together till we meet
again, my friend. That won't be long.
When it came to casting, the producers insisted that.
Raquel B cast and Simon Ward apparently.
And what do you think about the casting of Spike as Raquel
Welch's husband? Well, it's comedy casting.
Yeah, it's. It's a one note, yeah, but
there's a there's a jarring shot of them actually having a cuddle
and beard which presumably post quittal.
Which I didn't like. I'd rather that it got edited
out, but some, you know, I mean they play it for laughs.
Don't know that she is this absolute drop dead gorgeous
bombshell And she is very she's stunning in this.
I wouldn't have dawdled the way Captain Peacock did in this
event or wasted no time. Social warriors were different
back then. Well, Spike was forever grateful
to Leicester, but I enjoyed. I actually enjoyed him in this
because he the the the spikeness is pitched at a nice tone where
it doesn't detract from the the material or the film too much.
It doesn't. It didn't Take Me Out of the
film. It's it's it's not seen stealing
in a way that you would expect it to be.
Spike just running around being Spike.
Like I said, he's actually got things to do and things to say
in this. The scenes with Cardinal
Richelieu where he's sort of saying, oh, he calls me friend
and things like that. Yeah.
If it wasn't Spike, it wouldn't be so comedic.
You'd just think it was tragic. Yeah.
So I think it's, it's, it's good.
I enjoyed him in this. Yeah, I did love the book where
he said that his wife lives in the palace, but she comes and
visit some once a week. And yeah, tonight's the night.
And then he does this full body, Sort of.
Tremble tremble. I really is so broad but I
really enjoyed that. Madam, my wife, is she not
beautiful and chanting thank you.
She is as as delicate as petals falling.
Of course you know that my wife is a dressmaker to the Queen.
Very nice person, the Queen. My wife has her every
confidence. Yes, I'm.
I'm very proud of being her husband.
Amber. She lives here.
No, I live here. My beautiful constant stays at
the palace. I mean, where else?
But she visits me once a week. Tonight, in fact.
Madam must look forward to that eagerly.
I'd love the bit with the flintlock pistol.
Oh yeah, and that's Christopher Lee actually playing off him
really well too in that scene. It's good to say I like the fact
that because Richard Lester got his first big break courtesy of
Peter Sellers in the 50s, because Peter Sellers offered
him. A job directing a television
show. OK, which soon after Spike got
involved with. So I like the fact it's almost
like, you know Richard Lester was doing a doing an old bait, a
favor by bringing in Spike. But yeah, good casting and and
Spike at the time was having some problems at home, not
problems, but he had a lot on his plate in terms of his
personal life and so he was quite glad.
To get away to, I think it was Madrid that they filmed And
Spain. Yeah, all over Spain.
Yeah, but he spiked. Apparently.
He read up on the period, read the book, read all the books,
all the Duma books, studied the costumes, sets the props.
And you know the bit at the end that that climactic ball scene,
the the, the, the grand ball. He was watching the filming of
that standing next to Dick Lester.
And he had tears in his eyes, apparently.
And he said, he said to Dick, he said, Can you imagine Dick?
It really was like this, wasn't it?
This is how it actually looked in the past.
We've bought back the past. So he was really bound up in
this whole project and really enjoyed his time on this film.
And Charlton Heston, apparently. So he says it is in his, in his
autobiography, was a big fan of Milligan.
I'm not quite sure from what or from how that was.
But he he said that spike reminded him of a Shakespearean
full. And he really enjoyed working
with Spike which apparently made Spike feel greatly at ease
because he was quite nervous about acting against such a
great thespian as Charlton Heston as he would be.
You can see why Milligan was taken with the whole production
though because like I even just me watching it, I was stunned
actually with the sets and the as he sacres the the costumes
and the the set design and but it feels really authentic.
Yeah. And just the the little nooks
and crannies that list the fines to kind of highlight.
Well, it's it's even the basics. They're almost like cutaway
jokes. But you imagine that the
authenticity of things like they're just walking down the
street and you know, somebody's throwing their their slot bucket
out. Yeah, they don't make a huge
thing of it, but it's just really to say that's what it was
like. It looked all really, really
grand but it feels like you can sort of smell you can sort of
smell the Oh yeah, what's going on.
And you can feel it and it's all sweaty and and yeah they don't
all look clean and. Someone think that another thing
that's someone's getting. A tooth extraction on the street
as well. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, like that early game of tennis that they play.
Oh, they're. Playing real tennis.
That's brilliant. And even the Duke of Buckingham,
when he's walking around with it, oh God, what do you call it?
We've got the orange with the cloves in it and he's like
sniffing one of those and just there's just little details
everywhere that. Yeah, yeah.
I I think the other thing that this film has been sort of
congratulated for its its authenticity is the sword play.
Yes. Where?
It's not just right. I'll have a go.
Then you have a go and you chase me back.
It is proper, just people trying to hack the shits out of each
other. I I've listened to to another in
in preparation for this. I listened to another podcast
and it was from somebody who was.
They were a trained fencer. And they said out of all the
films they've seen, this is probably the one that does it
right? Does it really proper where?
Especially with Oliver Reid. Where?
He was just trying to hack people to pieces.
Christopher Lee had words with him, didn't he?
Yes. So he said, don't forget, he
said, Who taught you how to wield a sword on?
You did, Yes. And don't you forget it.
Yeah. Yeah, I read in What's the Book
called? I read in a biography called
Hellraisers, which is a biography of Oliver Reid,
Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Peter O'Toole, that.
A lot of the the stunt fighters refused to fight with Oliver
Reed because he didn't listen to any of the training or any of
the directors. He just wanted to his his idea
was just to kill people. He literally wanted to hit
people with his sword and he injured a lot of people by doing
that. Well, you can tell he.
Threw himself any, any time he was obliged to do a fight in any
film. He threw himself into it, didn't
he? And I'm thinking Women in love
as well, you know, he was quite. Epic.
He certainly threw himself into that, Yeah, himself and Dalen
Bates. The other thing I like about the
fighting in this, and I know we've talked about this on on
our show, is I like to see especially things like sword
fighting where they get really knackered and you know they have
to keep going or they're going to die.
It's not like if you see things like Lord of the Rings where
people are super fit and they just fight for hours and hours.
They look, they look perfect. With this one they are knackered
and that doesn't. I think the only one of the one
I've seen like that is something like Rob Roy, where they're just
barely able to stand up. But they know that if they give
up they're dead and and that shows in this a lot just because
they look obviously really unfit.
But there's the same sword fight choreographer whose name escapes
me right now, but he was like, did Rob Roy?
Did Willow did a whole lot of. I'll Google it.
Yeah, but yeah, yeah, there's a real sense of danger and sort of
urgency and stakes to every Joule.
Yes. And sort of almost like the
panic has just barely suppressed them and both the combatants.
And it looks so authentic, like, you know, Michael York.
I actually came away from the rewatch of this with a better
view of of his performance as dartending, because I actually
quite admired the the comedic performance that he does on us.
But he throws himself into the physicality of it as.
Well, well, he does that spin around the washing line.
Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah.
And they they just all go healthfully.
Well, there's never the sense that it's a given that they're
going to win any, any confrontation.
And I'm thinking of, you know the bit, you know the bit when
so. D'artagnan bumps into Athos at
the beginning and Athos says you need a lesson in manners and
issues him a challenge to a jewel And then he and then he he
knocks Porthos off his horse I think and is issued with another
challenge and then I think he does the same to Aramis.
So he's basically has to he he he turns up for this this jewel
with The Three Musketeers and then the Cardinals guards turn
up and there's and we have that sword fight.
There's the point there's a bit where Athos so Oliver Reed is
fighting with two swords and he's he's like fighting one of
the like chuckle brother, he's he's got two swords but there's
like a 70 year old and one of the one of the Cardinals guards
yeah. But you, you get the feeling
that at any moment Athos could lose that, you know, lose that
confrontation. And right at the beginning of
the film, you've got Bloody Joss Hackland briefly don't, haven't
you? Yes.
Oh yeah, that's that's Daddy D'artagnan.
He's great. I actually, yeah, I bet credit
sequence really got me quite excited.
Like I loved the the sort of unshoothing of the blade.
It's. Not that sort of morphing.
Slow. No.
No, no. No.
No, no, no, no. That kind of, yeah.
That that got me going. Did it.
That was cool. Yeah, not like that.
Well, Michael, you wouldn't look particularly buff, but it was it
was a room delight from Jos Aplin.
Yeah, gives me the horn. Give me a bit of diplomatic
immunity. He's showing off his lethal
weapon, but did you see who played d'artagnan's mum?
Oh, Ethel from EastEnders. It was Ethel from EastEnders,
Gretchen, Franklin. No sign of her little Willy.
No, no. But you know, it just whoops
along. Like, I just love how Joss Akman
has that chat with d'artagnan, which is don't ever submit any
insults, you know? Make sure you get a lot of
fighting in. And he takes them very
literally. Yeah, D'artagnan is basically
scrappy dude. At the start of this year.
Basically, I'll have a fight with.
Enemies. That's you looked at me funny.
Yeah, Yeah. He's stupidly earnest, isn't he?
And he's he's he's idealistic, he's naive.
He's stubborn and courageous, of course, But to to me, the least
impressive, impressive actor in this film, sort of the least.
Naturally charismatic, Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, Oliver Stone, Oliver Stone, Oliver Reed.
Now that would be interesting cast.
Oliver Stone's 3 Oh my God. You go for the magic sword.
Yeah, that would have been five hours.
Oliver Reed is just magnetic. I was actually watching this
going God, he would have been a good James Bond 0.
Richard. I've always had a soft spot for
Richard Chamberlain. I love Richard Chamberlain.
He kind of did a a nice line in this sort of thing too, because
he he did a Count of Monte Cristo.
He did. He did.
A man in the Iron Mask. He was also Jason Bourne, yeah.
And he was. He was the original Jason
Bourne, was he? Was he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the Bourne film was he
nominated, I think? There was.
Bourne Identity was like a the main series.
But I think it was based more on the The Loveland book, yeah,
rather than the absolute nonsense that became of the
trilogy, right. So yeah, he was on it.
He was the miniseries king for a while you know of.
Thorn Birds, Ralph. Dubricassell The Thorn Birds.
Yeah, yeah. But Frank Finlay even, you know,
like, right. Why did they give him that dual
role? I don't understand.
That's bizarre. It's not.
He's the Eddie Murphy of his day, but because he's he
basically looks exactly the same.
It's not like they've given him a really good latex sort of
appliance. Yeah, but he turns up in a very
brief scene, as is it. O'Reilly?
The O'Reilly. What is it?
The jeweler. Jeweler.
No, no need for it. I don't get it.
Was did the original actor sort of not turn up or something and
Frank Finney just went, you know I'll do it and he was in there.
I don't know. He sort of does a bit of a no
speak of the English he. Goes yeah, he's a bit, what a
mistake to make it. Yeah, but why is he called
O'Reilly then Irish Italian? Well, we heard his Irish accent
in the wild geese. We don't want that they.
Should have gone. They should have got the guy who
played O'Reilly in Fawlty Towers.
What's his name? David.
David Kelly Well, he couldn't do it.
He's only got one arm. He couldn't be a jeweler.
I. Think I've even washed dishes.
For years, for years and years and years, I was convinced that
the actor David Kelly only had one because I'd seen him on
Robin's Nest. I think that is one of the
finest jokes of all time though. Is David Kelly playing the one
arm dishwasher? I just think it's fantastic.
Now, did you both note who voiced the king Jean Pierre
Casal was was dubbed? Was Richard Breyers.
That was Richard Breyers. There are two people who were
dubbed in this, and they're dubbed by the some of the most
recognisable voice overs of the 70s.
You've got Richard Breyers and Michael Horden.
You know who? Michael Horden plays Monsieur.
Is it Trevillier? Who's there or something?
Yeah, Trevile. Yeah, The Musketeers.
Musketeers. It's clearly Paddington Bear.
Yeah, of course. And and of course at the time
around this time Breyers and Horden.
Were making Jeeves in Worcester for the radio.
They were. It is my intention to retire to
the depths of the country. In some old world sequestered
nook. I shall find a cottage and there
resume my studies. A cottage.
Jeeves, if possible, Honeysuckle
covered. In that case, I fear I must give
my notice. Jeeves.
Hear you correctly. Yes, Sir.
You actually contemplate leaving my answer?
Only with the greatest reluctance, Sir.
But if it is your intention to play that instrument within the
narrow confines of a country cottage.
You say that instrument, Jeeves, and you say it in an unpleasant,
stupid voice. I'm hard put to explain it to
him. Who guards France while I sleep?
Who labours unceasingly while I amuse myself?
Your Majesty refers to God. I refer to Cardinal Richarder,
which is not quite the same thing.
There's the reason they did the voice overs because the actors
were were too French and they didn't want other people who
were pretending to be French to not look so good.
I don't know, but it was jarring for me knowing that Jean Pierre
Casals was presumably quite virile Frenchman.
He's met Saint Kessel's father and.
And you've got Tom Goode City, yeah, Martin Price and then
there's very, yeah. Well, yeah, but I've seen Jean.
I've seen Jean Pierre Cassell in Murder on the Orange Express and
as far as I can remember his he he spoke English perfectly well.
But is he in the Albert funny one?
Yes, Sydney Lamet 1. The Sydney Lamet one, Yeah, he
plays the I think it's like the train conductor on the train.
OK, Frank. Frank Finley.
I always think of him immediately as the witch smell
of persweeven yes. Old Big Nose is back.
Yeah, he's so scary in that one, isn't he?
Carrots Yeah, that's probably the best episode in that first.
I I like that one. I I do like the Queen of Spain's
beard. I love that with.
With Jim, Broadbent plays the interpreter called Don.
Speak English Again. Again please.
Edgemont my love do. You know the the only thing
about that that still confuses me and it's it's a bit creepy
you know when sorry listeners we're completely going off the
track here but in that episode so you've got Mary Margulies as
the as the Spanish inventor. Who's desperate to get into
Edmund's trousers, basically, isn't she?
And she's talking to Edmund's mother and she's obviously got
Jim Broadband, the translator, translated for her.
And she's asking Edmund's mother what he's like in bed.
Yeah, yeah, I think that's the joke, isn't it?
Actually, quite rightly says he's like a little rabbit.
Is that when Edmund's all bruised and?
Baldrick's bruised. A Baldrick's Bruised, Yeah.
She can't be a virgin, so Baldrick has to go and seduce
him and he's all black and blue afterwards.
I should just talk about that very underrated series.
It doesn't get off talking. About I always It's my second
favorite Blackadder series. Now back to Oliver Reed.
So Athos, the character of Athos, Is he meant to?
Because I've not read the book. But is he meant to be alcoholic?
That's I haven't read the book either, but that's certainly the
the characterization that they go with a whole lot of
adaptations. Is that because of Oliver Reed?
I don't know. But he's one exert I read was
that he was. He's stern and while his while
his colleagues have seen him smile a lot, they've never seen
him laugh. That's sort of a line that OK
that they say. So I think he's sort of the
brooding, angsty one, which, you know, you find out later that he
has this romantic history with Milady De Winter, and then he
was an actual bastard. He found out that she was a
criminal and just spurned her, and then of course ends up
presiding over her execution. OK.
It's not good, is it? It's very, it's very easy to,
very easy to sympathize with her in that situation, yeah.
I mean, I know because he's a, he's a nobleman, he's the, he's
a he's a count, he's the compte de la frere or something.
Yeah, I know. In in, as we mentioned,
Dogtownian and the three Muska hands.
The the Athos there does drink beer, so maybe it does follow
on. He drinks a beer and swears he's
faithful to the king. Yeah, as they say in the lyrics,
yeah. So maybe it is a Dumar thing, or
maybe they've just copied a whole of The room.
Yeah. Does this film, did you know,
set some precedence? Because Christopher Lee's
interpretation of Rochefort with the eye patch, which I think was
a Christopher Lee thing where his back story was a Musketeer,
took Rochefort's eye and that's why he has this animosity
towards the Musketeers. Oh OK, but every it's ration of
Rochefort after that has had an eye patch even though that's not
mentioned in DeMar. Oh, OK.
Right, a bit like the dare stalker for Sherlock Holmes.
That was never. Mentioned in the actual stories
and I think it was adopted by an early actor, I don't know
William Gillette or someone like that on, you know, on stage.
And it it became the man can get.
Accepted as as part of the Sherlock Holmes costume, I
suppose. A bit like how the makers of
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, thought Nazir was a canonical.
Yeah, characters. Not from Robin Nazir, would,
Yeah, Yeah. Prince of Thieves.
I haven't seen it for years and years and years.
Am I right in thinking that they they land in Dover?
They land at Seven Sisters, which is meant to look like
that's quite topical, of course. Indeed, yeah.
And they they walk to Nottingham to that tree that's no longer
there, which is on Hadrian's Wall Gap.
By by nightfall, and as as as we've already covered Prince of
Thieves and I don't really have an issue with that, I'm fine
either. And what about, I mean, we
mentioned the script George McDonald Fraser.
It was brilliant script for this and the dialogue was especially
picked out for praise because it was both.
And again, this is kind of bringing in weaving in the the
Fleischmann influence. It was authentic.
The dialogue was authentic for the period while also being
sufficiently contemporary enough for modern years and a bit of
baldiness. And also, there's a lot of a bit
of a shaggy, shaggadelic sort of spirit to this, yeah.
Unless they wanted to highlight the underclass, you know, the
servants, the peasantry, not just make it a sumptuous film
with the focus on the wealthy and then the entitled.
So it's it's like we said before, you know, you see people
throwing shit out the window and amateur dentistry and people
sleeping rough and D'artagnan himself is very much, you know,
you sympathize with him because he's coming from kind of nothing
really. And I thought there's there's
one moment towards the end where he confesses to the Duke of
Buckingham, and I'm sure it's very common at the time, but he
says, I'm afraid I can't read what you sort of think.
They wouldn't have done that in a in an American version, you
know, they just, they wouldn't have that.
Little. He'd have been poor, but
educated, Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That taught himself to read with, you know, his father's
Bible or something, you know? But hey, but I just thought that
was like even a little insight into just, yeah, this guy's
perfectly a bit of a peasant. He knows how to wield a sword.
And and also the Musketeers are not held up as being because
they are the they are technic. They are the King's men, aren't
they? But but they're also mercenaries
to a degree. They're they're guns for hire, I
suppose. I've never really understood the
because every version of the Musketeers that you watch, they
just seem to do what the fuck they want.
So yeah, it's. I don't really know.
Yeah, I'd imagine that their oath is allegiance to the king,
but but everything they do in this isn't in allegiance to the
king. It's the polar opposite.
They're they're assisting with the Queen's infidelity, yeah.
And I for me, I was a little confused with that as well.
Nothing of this the king is protecting.
This is just a an idiot. Yeah, and they help him in no
way at all. Well, Joe Zechman does say the
d'artagnan. You're a King's man and a
Queen's man. Too.
And also it's it's obviously, I know it was, it was filmed in
one and it's split into two films.
It's called The Three Musketeers.
But it's very much about D'artagnan, this first film, and
you don't see. You don't.
Faye Dunway. Is Milady de Winter?
Is that her name? She doesn't have a huge amount
to do in this film, so I'm assuming she does have a lot
more in The Four Musketeers. Yeah, as I guess there's a lot
more the Cardinal, she has a lot more to do in the in the next
one. Well, the subtitle is, Is it
Milady's Revenge? Milady's Revenge, Yeah, because
the the subtitle, this one is The Queen's Diamonds.
And yeah, Milady's Revenge, the next one.
But they had to ensure that they kit ethos and milady separated
in this first film, because if they saw laid eyes on each other
then they've got this shared history, yeah.
Yeah. They do sort of cross paths
right at the end of this, but she's sort of exchanging glances
with D'artagnan and everything else.
Yeah, not, not with Ethos, yeah. And Chris, were you taken out of
this film by the unexpected appearance of Rodney Bewes?
I was very much so playing a spy in another cracking scene,
another brilliant bit of writing, which I thought was
really good because he's talking in flashback and relaying what
they were saying. But doing it in such a dry
Rodney Bewes kind of way. It was great.
It was just another one in it that was really nice to see from
that sort of 70s era. Very much like Frank Thornton.
Yeah. Is that the guy who's reading
the transcript And then they? Yeah, Robbie views and then they
have 3 lines, yeah, Geraldine Chaplin and Raquel Welsh
actually mouthing his style. Yeah, it's really well done.
I thought it was really well done.
The following conversation took place in the bed Chamber of
Madame Bonacieux at the palace. The Queen said I am lost, I am
lost, Madame Bonacieu, said Her Majesty Constance.
I am lost, Majesty. What can I do, Constance?
We can get the studs back. Lord Buckingham in 14 days from
London. I am lost.
Majesty, in 14 days a messenger can reach London and return to
Paris with the studs and a messenger who I can trust no
one. That devil has informers
everywhere, That evil, filthy, revolting, wretched man.
Evil, filthy, revolting, evil man calls himself a man of the
Church according to this. Again, the likely lads.
Or whatever happened to the likely ads, I don't think.
Certainly when I was a kid growing up in the 80s that was.
I don't think that was repeated or shown on TV in New Zealand.
I I really came to it when I came to the UK.
So I don't think Rodney Bewes. I might be wrong, but I don't
think Rodney Bewes is a household household name it.
Was it was James Bolden though as well, wasn't it?
Yeah, because I was very familiar with James Bolden as a
kid from something. Yeah, only when I laughed.
Only when I laughed. OK.
Yeah, and when the boat comes in, can you sing the ring only
for its theme music? Sing the theme music, Chris.
I'm not, I'm not singing. Dance for your Daddy, My Little.
Do the fishy on addition. God, it's a cracker.
But yeah, it, I mean, yeah, I I if you didn't see, especially
whatever happened to the likelihoods, which I think is
one of those very rare examples of when they revive a series,
it's much better than the original.
Yeah, it's it's terminally. It's yeah, Yeah, Absolutely
Fabulous. It's so good and if you can dig
it out, it's well worth it. So brilliant.
Again, that's another one that had a spin off film where they
went on a caravanning holiday, which was OK.
I quite like that one. Yeah.
Yeah, the sad thing is that, I gather.
Bolam and Buse didn't get on in real life particularly well, and
I think Bolam pretty much cut cut ties with pews completely
because Rodney Bews was interviewed at one point and
said something. Nothing bad, but something in
what Bolam considered indiscreet about Bolam's wife in an
interview and nothing bad. I can't remember what it was,
but anyway. My wife's name.
He probably just said, yeah, yeah, I've slept with James
Bolan's wife, you know, and for some reason Bolan just cut him
dead after that. And.
Bolan was proceeding next to him in the interview.
We should have seen his face. Blimey.
I have to say my 3 1/2 year old son is a bit of a James Bolan
fan. Because James Bolan.
I plays Grandpa in my pocket, Yeah.
Oh, I think I've seen that. My daughter, I think, may have
watched that when she was little.
You know, the ball at the end of this film, the, the climax of
the film is this grand ball because the Cardinal was trying
to set in train the downfall of the Queen, isn't he?
By exposing her, exposing her relationship with the Duke of
Buckingham. And some diamonds.
And anyway, there's this grand ball.
Did you see the guy who looked like Mick Fleetwood dressed as a
mountain goat? Now there's a sentence I wasn't
expecting to hear. And you got plancha, you got Roy
Kinnear dressed as a polar there.
Yeah. Quite slimming, actually, That
polar bears head, I think he looks very good, isn't it?
Yeah, you've got dwarves who are, again, they're having
little conversations of their own, these serving little
people, and it's really funny They're talking about, oh, can't
be here, she's got different shoes, the feet are too small or
something, like they're on these little chats together and that
must be scripted, but I just think it's so nice.
That that same WHERE d'artagnan. Finds, you know, on his their
daring mission to get to Buckingham so they can get the
necklace off him. When he finds Buckingham in that
field, it just looks amazing the way that Lester shot it.
I mean, it's just look like a row of tents or something, but
it just totally evokes this kind of, yeah, he makes it look like
a huge budgeted epic. Isn't that, Yeah, absolutely.
Aren't they? Slaughtering deer at this.
Well, yeah, they are, yeah. So apparently there were some
criticisms of the scenes of animal cruelty.
And that's because there's also that scene where the dogs have a
rowed. The chest chest dogs.
The chest dogs, Yeah, Quentin Tarantino's first draft.
You want to give the blokes from ABBA.
Yeah, just on that. Yeah, yeah.
But there's also like a like a Hawking scene.
And I don't mean, you know, a scientist with a funny voice.
There's a scene with some hawkers and some some birds are
clearly slaughtered by the Hawks as well.
So you're right. There are a couple of things
like that that made me feel a little bit.
That would have been inspired casting.
Oh, for one. Do you want to hear my Stephen
Hawking story? Yeah.
Oh, yes. Yes.
So my wife. Years ago used to work in
customer services for a large, well known department store.
And yes, I know the one. And you know the the kind of
people that would typically phone up and complain were
people living in the shires you know middle class Hobberts types
and. And one day my wife took this
call from this woman and she said I'm as the personal
assistant to. Professor Stephen Hawking and
the lounge suite that we had, that he had delivered is, you
know, there's a tear or something, you know, and we, we
want something, you know, we want some sort of compensation,
blah, blah, blah, that sort of thing, right.
So my wife's taken down to the details and and at one point she
can hear in the background the unmistakable sound of Stephen
Hawking saying. Do not take any crown from them.
The unmistakable sound, ladies and gentlemen.
The unmistakable sound, you know.
Lucky he didn't turn up. She would have been like to
leave it. Stephen, they're not worth it.
They're not worth it. Yeah.
Did he get any compensation? He's dead now we can say.
I don't know. OK.
And. What does he need a couch for?
Scraped it? That's terrible.
Sorry but. Anyway, back to the film.
Oh yeah, the Musketeers, Yeah. The Musketeers, you know the
bit. So right at the end when you've
got, I don't particularly, I don't know how you feel the
whole. Climax of the film with the with
d'artagnan and the the fight between Raquel and Faye Dunaway
and all that. I found that a bit.
It went on a bit too long and I don't understand how that did.
How did the Musketeers know to get there to help D'artagnan?
I I didn't get that. I didn't understand.
There's a well, they there's a little bit of that throughout
the whole film. Well, they sort of like
spontaneously. Kind of coalesce around each
other for really vague reasons, but they they heard his voice
right when he when he nicked their horse.
Yeah, yeah, because he thought they were dead.
So when he was on his way back to the the palace, yeah, because
they were they, they were with him for a mission and they'd
obviously heard him and knew he'd returned.
So they thought, oh, well, the mission's still on, yeah, let's
go and join him. But rather than ride horses,
they're just carried in those little Chariots, they.
Were just the sedan chair things.
And that horse that d'artagnan stole, there's a bit where he
has to kick a hole through a wall.
Yeah, was that wall made out of cake?
Because it just seemed to. It's like that, that viral
trend. Is it cake?
Is it cake or is it a wall? Is it?
Yeah, it's a new one. Is it wall?
Yeah, it would have been easier if he just stood on the horse's
back and climbed over. Yeah, it wasn't exactly a high
wall. Yeah, it looked quite convinced.
I was convinced. Because you actually see the
horse doing this little kicky thing, don't you?
Yeah, yeah. I was quite impressed with that.
And because it's a Richard Lester film as well, there's the
bit where I think it's D'artagnan, he he, he tries to
pull the carpet from under the feet of some people.
And you think that they're going to?
Fall over, but all he does is rip the carpet.
Yeah, which there's little deflating moments like that
throughout the film. Like there's that book where he
tries to extinguish the candle or the sword and he just sort of
misses it and then he has to clumsily take his glove off and.
And also is. I quite like all.
That is, Constance. Is Raquel Welch that character
of Constance that she plays? I don't think in the book she's
meant to be clumsy. But she's portrayed as very
clumsy in this, isn't she? Yeah, she's supposed to be an
intelligent, loyal, you know, aid to the Queen, which they'll
obviously keep the loyalty. But I mean, I quite like that.
Because in a lot of films, particularly if you're talking
about people like Richard Curtis or whatever, beautiful women are
always these perfect. Yeah, infallible, unattainable.
So to make it ridiculously clumsy, Yeah, I think it's a
really, really nice touch. Yeah, and she's attainable.
Yeah, very. Yeah, I know she's.
I mean, there's a lot of unseemly collision from
D'artagnan. Yeah, he's very persuasive,
isn't he? Oh, he's come and have a cuddle.
He's. Desperate as buggery to give her
a bath, isn't he? Or wash her or something.
Well, he has. Washed a horse before and and
you start at the top. He knows all the lines.
Work done. Yeah.
You cannot go to the queen with dirty legs, no.
Are you strong enough to wash them?
No, My poor husband. Without him, I feel so helpless.
I've now washed the legs of a woman.
I have done a horse with a horse.
You start at the top. I cannot go dirty to the queen.
Do you think I will be safe here?
Oh, yes. Constant, yes.
Oh, sorry. That's the thing.
D'artagnan is a pain in the ass, really.
And she asks. I mean, she goes off, She goes
off for an assign, a secret assignation, or he doesn't know
where she's off to. And she makes she she makes
D'artagnan promise promise not to follow her, so he does
immediately. And she meets Simon Ward, the
Duke of Buckingham, which leads to that fight scene in The
Laundry. Roy Kinnear is joining in.
Giving PeopleSoft taps on the head with planks of wood.
Yeah, which is knocking them out.
But you've got Oliver Reed, red face, sweating like hell and
just look looking like he wants to kill people.
It's. Sweating in every scene in this
Yeah, he just looks like he's permanently in that, permanently
hungover or. Well, it's no, it's yeah, it's
interesting. He's not playing tennis as he
it's Porthos and Aramis. He's just what he's he looks too
sweaty. He's.
Sitting there, sweating. He's watching them sitting and
looking angry. But it's the fact also that he
doesn't just fight with swords. He'll fight with like a coach,
yeah, and things like that. He just uses whatever's around
him, Yeah, but just with the intent of not knocking somebody
out, as you said, like rocking here and just killing them.
It's like 17th century Bourne Supremacy.
That's Richard Chamber. But yeah, it's another one of
those sort of desperate Who the fuck knows what's going to
happen? Fight scenes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I will say we talked about
Simon Ward, just a little bit of trivia.
Do you know who Simon Ward's son-in-law is?
No, it's the comedian Michael McIntyre.
Oh. God.
Oh God, there you go. I found that out in my doing my
homework. Well, you know who's Michael
Mcintyre's father was? Mr. McIntyre.
No.
Trying to think of someone else called.
McIntyre Ray Ray Cameron I don't know why he's got a different
signer. Ray Cameron.
Ray Cameron, famous for Co writer for Kenny Everett on the
Kenny Everett Television Show OH.
With Barry Cry. Oh wow, I didn't know that.
One, you know Kenny Everett video show, you know, there was
the two wasn't there. There was the 10s one and oh
absolutely. I remember the video show.
Yeah. Yeah, I bit.
Michael McIntyre really gets on Simon Woods tits.
Well, not anymore. Aussie Yeah, OK, But yeah, he
probably did, yeah. Can you imagine their dinners?
I'm just glad Simon Ward didn't live live long enough to see the
wheel on TV because he I don't mean it, but he would be turning
in his grave. I watched the wheel for the
first nightly time recently because my wife was watching it.
And you do have to. It's like the celebrities that
they get on Part of the agreement must be you have to
behave like a tit. You have to know how to dance
like an idiot in a chair. Yeah, that's it.
But I am. I'm not normally.
I mean, sometimes I'm quite scathing, but just because I
don't find certain things funny, it doesn't mean they're not
funny. And everyone always goes on
about things like Mrs. Brown's voice.
I personally don't find it funny, but clearly a lot of
people do. Yeah, and they're idiots.
Well, but with with Michael Mcintyre's the wheel.
He's absolutely shy. I don't understand it at all.
Let's let's stop talking about Michael McIntyre.
It's distressing. Me.
Yeah. Sorry.
This is a podcast about comedy. Yeah, someone.
Has to get that out. You can only do you hate mail.
It's his next guest. But what I'll say is I really
enjoyed this. I liked it a lot more than I
expected to. I was really impressed with it.
Just yeah, I thought it was so entertaining.
I'm really looking forward to watching the next.
One, Yeah. So was it still, was it still
any good, Rob? Yes, it certainly was still
good. Good.
Nice one. Yeah.
Now for me, I gave the film the same treatment that I I did.
I do for for our own podcast, which is I'll watch it through
first time just to get a feel of it.
And then the second time I'll sit and I'll make notes and I'll
write down and I'll sort of take a little bit more in.
And the first time I didn't enjoy it at all.
And I think that's more my fault than the film's, because like I
said before, I'd completely forgotten that there was all of
this slapstick and comedy and lightheartedness, and I was
expecting a bit more of a a serious, albeit bawdy kind of
swashbuckler. Chris had just watched an
episode of The Wheel. Yeah, it was in a bed curse you
and all your family. So the first time I thought, oh
God, I really didn't get this. And I think it's I, I sort of
hung a lot of that on Richard Lester.
I mean the the, the sections. And if we compare it to another
thing he did with with the Sarkins, which was of course the
the scenes of Superman 2. And you can tell the Richard
Lester scenes of that to, to use a phrase of yours, Rob, they
stick out like dog's balls where there's there's some serious
stuff. And then someone, someone's wig
will blow off in Superman 2 or they'll get an ice cream in the
face. And this felt very like much
like that. But the second time I watched
it, I enjoyed it considerably more.
I accepted the film for what it was and like, like we said, I
was really, really blown away by the production design, by the
swordplay, and just by the the sheer stupidity of quite a lot
of that I thought was great fun too.
So, yeah, yes, I would say still good as well.
Excellent. Very good, very good.
What about you? You have to, you have to say
what's your verdict? Yeah, I mean, I I've not seen it
for 3540 years maybe. And yeah, I was expecting it to
be baggy. I don't know why long and baggy.
And it wasn't. It was very, very tight.
And Spike was better than I expected Spike to be.
I mean, Spike's good in most things, but like you say, he's
usually just playing Spike, isn't he?
At least in this he's got stuff to do.
And I I enjoyed all the performances with the possible
exception of Michael York, who I I struggle with in anything
really. I don't think I've seen any
anything with Michael York in that I've particularly rated him
in. He was fantastic as Beswick's
position. Let's see.
I don't even like that. Very soon we'll be able to tell
you how he's doing in Logan's Run, because that's our next
step. That's our next one.
Yeah. Oh my God, it's a York.
It's a Yorkathon. A Yorkathon?
Yeah, absolutely. Oh.
Yorkfish. Double York.
Double York? No, I need to ask Tyler, talking
about Spike's performance in this, was there a period where
he was more interested in in sort of taking on less kind of
madcap spike Milligan roles and just trying to do something a
bit more sort of serious? Is there any part of his career
where he was doing that? Yeah, the reason I thought is I
know probably about a year prior to this.
He was originally cast in the The Amicus film Asylum.
Oh, was he? Which, yeah, the role that
eventually was taken on by Geoffrey Bald on.
Oh my God, you can totally see. Milligan in that role, but it I
mean without giving away too much it would have given things
away I. Think, but was there any sort of
period where he was looking to sort of branch out a bit?
Yeah, well, he he actually got a end of the 50s.
So as The Green Show was coming to an end, he signed a contract
with MGM to make to make a number of films.
Rally Massey, he made two films. I can think of where they were.
They were like comedies, but. He was, he was trying to act
fairly straight. You know what I mean?
He wasn't doing the the Milligan.
You know that Milligan will in in any film appearance you see
him in. Generally he will be doing that
thing where he's his eyebrows are up and down and he's he's
clenching and unclenching. Just looking vacantly off
camera, yeah. And and and and, yeah,
absolutely. There's a film called Postman's
Knock in which he plays a character, a postman who, yeah,
it's a fairly straight performance.
It's a comedy, but it's a straight performance.
And I think he did want, I think, to his career to go in
the same direction that Peter Sellers did around that time.
But he's not the actor that Peter Sellers was so.
No, no, I think that's 1st and he liked, he liked, I think he
liked the discipline that well. He certainly liked the
discipline that Sellers had in terms of the acting side of
things. And Sellers also, he had the
looks to really be a leading man.
And the charm. And the charm, yeah.
Whereas Spike yeah, well that you say that but I mean the
sellers in the 50s was quite hefty a poker if you look at
photos of Spike and Peter in the early 50s.
Spike is very handsome man, very handsome man, you know, before
he started to go grain, you know, the Spike that we know, if
you like, and Sellers around the early 50s was quite chubby and
he had this weird sort of sort of Sid James type hair, you
know, that sort of weird. Oh, yes, he did, didn't he?
Yeah, which I think, I think is curly hair.
It's is it curly hair that is sort of Brill creamed or
something and it's got that weird sort of WAVY effect.
It's, I mean I know you mentioned Douglas Hood before.
It is like a young Douglas Hood that's sort of Mr. Whippy.
Kind of that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. It's quite Mulligan, sort of had
a bit of a James Cromwell look, sort of domain, yeah.
Come to bed, Constance, my small chicken and I.
Oh, I'll. Do anything you ask if you
promise to take the letter. Oh, what do I know about
letters? Oh, my beautiful Constance.
I've been away from you 70 days and so many nights.
No, I'm serious. You think I'm not?
Has gone to London now. Oh, it must, because you say so.
Well, I don't wish to be trusted me, and I'll tell you for why.
Because that's so very suspicious.
Letter smacks up intrigue. Yes, intrigue and very much the
intrigues of your queen have done for.
You assaulted, terrified and me dragged to the Bastille, the
Bastille. But I tell you, I don't wish to
be sent to the Bastille. Me, because it's got very deep
dungeons and terrible instruments of torture operated
by very unsympathetic men, and they slip very important parts
of people. But no, I mean, look, great
film, very enjoyable and I'm really looking forward to
watching The Four Musketeers with you guys hopefully next
year, yeah. Yes.
Yeah, we'll get you on next year most definitely.
So we've we haven't really talked about it, but the premise
of still any good is that you sometimes with guests you go
back and revisit films that you enjoyed when you were younger
and and to see whether they hold up.
That's the the premise, isn't it?
Absolutely. That is it, yeah.
It doesn't necessarily have to be.
Some people think, oh, it's just going to be kids films.
But you know, when when we were young, we didn't just watch kids
films. We watched all manner of things,
whatever was on TV and it's it's whatever stuck with us.
Whatever we we vaguely remember enjoying and we haven't seen for
what's our Rule 15. Years. 15 years we've.
Been there, look every now and again, but yeah.
Yeah. And and, and as you can imagine,
some, some of them turn out to be an absolute joy and some turn
out to be an absolute disaster. Yeah, yeah.
And we talk. This episode has sort of been a
bit of a meandering chat. That's basically what we offer,
sometimes with a guest, sometimes without.
Yeah, I mean what have you got coming up on still any good?
You've said Logan's run, you've got any other, you've got
Christmas special planned or anything like that.
Yes, we are going to be looking at Eyes Wide Shut.
Oh, which I've never seen but Robbie shows me, is a Christmas
film. It does sit during Christmas and
Christmas is referenced. Throughout the film, right,
Because I've got the Kubrick box set and I've watched them all.
Apart from that, because I just got the impression it's not very
good at all. But is it?
Is it? Well, you don't want to show
your hand here, Rob, but I suppose it must There must.
Be Well, I haven't done the rewatch right yet, but I I
enjoyed it. Yeah, I've seen it.
I've seen it a few times. Not, not for at least 15 years,
I'd say. But yeah, I'd say.
Challenging film. I think I can.
I can see why some people would have an allergic reaction to it,
because it's an unusual film. OK, because I've seen very, very
few Kubrick films. I know we've talked about this
as well. Is I I I haven't seen Clockwork
Orange or 2001. Oh.
God a full. Metal jacket.
Have you seen Barry London? Pardon.
Have you seen Barry London? No.
Oh fuck. I know.
I'm I'm a I'm a film person and I I've absolutely no idea why.
It's my I've seen The Shining. I've seen Spartacus.
I've seen Gardens of Stone that's probably about, oh, piles
of glory. Sorry, not part of Goldenstone.
That's all of the stuff and that's probably about it.
So I'm going to find this very interesting.
I've just realized we've got a Tom Cruise double bill because
we've got a guest going on who's doing Legend.
Of course. Yeah.
So we've got a we've got a cruise, a thong, as well as a
Yorker thong. That's.
A Yorker Thong double York, double cruise.
As far as the only good goes, we, we do have other things
happening in very, very soon, I think within the next week or so
or next two weeks. Rob's partner's having a baby,
so we'll have a podcast maybe? Absolutely.
Well, that's why I wanted to squeeze you guys in before the
big day because obviously you will have your hands full.
Well, last time my partner had a baby, I I recorded an episode
that evening. You did, Yeah.
We recorded Tango and Cash the day you became a father.
Not because I'm a terrible partner, Father.
It's because. It was Level 4 lockdown in New
Zealand, and I actually wasn't allowed in the hospital.
Oh, yeah. So yeah, nothing better to do.
Talked. About it.
An appalling bodyguard, it you mentioned Barry Linden, I think
Barry Linden would be a nice companion piece for this film.
Actually in some ways it's it's I agree the the the Barry Linden
is is very long but it's similar sort of period I guess.
And there is there is some humor running.
I mean you've got Leonard Rossiter in it for God's sake,
you know. Yeah yeah.
So I think you at some point Chris you must watch Barry
Lyndon. It's like a painting on film is.
Is what I'd say. I I know I'd enjoy them, I know
I'd appreciate them. But I I think, especially with
Kubrick, I always find that there there'd be a lot of effort
involved. And sometimes I just think I
don't have the energy for that anymore.
Well. How would you know?
You haven't fucking watched it? Exactly, yeah.
Well, I will soon do. I'm going to watch Eyes Wide.
Yeah, no. But you're right.
If you want to watch something unchallenging, watch, carry on
behind. But sometimes, Sometimes you do.
Sometimes. I think carry behind is a real
challenge, but sometimes you want to be challenged.
I don't know about you. I want to be challenged
sometimes. When it comes to Oh yeah,
definitely. But sometimes I'm just tired.
I know it. Happens a lot, and that's my
age, That's the fact I've got you.
And sometimes you do just want to sit down and watch carry on
behind, don't you? I'm a bit like that with horror
these days. I used to quite like a really
good, bleak, nasty horror film and every now and then I try and
get myself set up to watch one I go.
I think I'll just go for something a bit.
Do you know what I watched for the first time the other night?
I'd always been put off watching it because Mark Kermade goes on
about it all the bloody time. The Exorcist.
Yeah, and it it wasn't bad. Oh, I love that.
Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, I think what I think what
sours The Exorcist for a lot of people is they've seen the
French and Saunders sketch before seeing the actual film.
And that's all you can think of, right?
Well, I I haven't seen that sketch, but but I've seen, I've
seen many parodies of The Exorcist.
And what I couldn't get over was the fact that Max von Sydow,
who's who is The Exorcist. He's 44 years old, the actor,
but he's made-up to look about twice that age.
You know, the age of young Mr. Grace from IE being served, you
know. But anyway, anyway, listen,
chaps, I have. I have kept you long enough and
thank you so much for thanks. For having us on Tyler and I
will look forward to joining you at some point and and Robert you
know all the best with the, the, the incoming and for.
The arrival of Baby d'artagnan and Chris.
Have you got anything coming up in your private life?
Not. At all.
But nothing as special as Rob's Got's coming up.
No, no, just just getting older and enjoying these chats.
I've absolutely loved it tonight.
It's been brilliant. Thank you.
Brilliant. All right, chaps.
Well, thank you again and we'll talk again soon.