Take. One John Cleese, where do you
think you're going? The Guinness Book of Records.
Add 1 punctilious headmaster. I am going to the University of
Norwich in the fair county of Norfolk, right Norwich on time.
On the left. Right, blend thoroughly.
This is the train to Norwich. Plymouth, Plymouth that was
Norwich on the left. And you've won.
Sure. Recipe for disaster?
Taxi. I'll just pull the wing away
from the wheel. They're vandalizing those poems
again. He's showing off his muscles and
she's egging him up. Let's do that,
our chairman. Mr. Stimson.
Is here clockwise, is being in the right place at the right
time the. This is a historic episode of
Goonpod. After nearly 150 episodes, for
the first time ever we are discussing a film which doesn't
have a goon connection. Although John Cleese did win the
Evening Standard Peter Sellers Award for Comedy for this film,
and he was of course the announcer in the 1968 Thames TV
Goon Show special. Tails of Men's Shirts, of
course. But I just thought we'd shake it
up and try something a little bit different and talk about a
British comedy film which I am extremely fond of and have
probably seen it God knows a dozen times, maybe more over the
years. And I wanted to invite back a
friend of the show, returning guest and someone who I know
will have a lot to say about this film.
And I think it's possibly only the second time he's seen it for
this recording. Chris Diamond.
Hi, Chris. Hello.
How are you doing? Nice to be back.
Yeah, not too bad. It's good to be back with all
you wonderful people. Good, good.
Because last time you were on, I think it was talking, we were
talking to Nick Emery about his his dad.
Yeah, yeah. That was fantastic.
Yeah, That was so good. Yeah.
So, so Chris we have, I mentioned the the film we're
talking about. I don't think I have 1986
clockwise. Clockwise.
Yeah. You saw.
As you see, I had the, I saw the pictures and I enjoyed it.
I remember enjoying it very much and I didn't see it again until
you suggested we talk about it. So it was interesting to see it
after. What's that, 37 years?
This surprises me though. Why?
Yeah.
Why did you leave it so long, basically?
Well, it's not what I mean, it wasn't a conscious decision to
to leave it to like I'm fifty or something.
I just, it's just something that never cropped up.
But it's a funny thing. It's not one of those films that
is ever included in sort of British films of the 80s, You
know, it's not handmade film. So it doesn't get included in
all of that sort of Canon and maybe join maybe, I don't know.
John Cleese is just sort of sort of so out of favor in the
mainstream. No, probably quite rightly that
it just that seems to slit my show.
It's not something I don't remember ever be good telly very
much. I'm sure it was and if I did
watch it when it was on telly, I don't remember watching it.
I certainly it's not amongst my archive of films that I taped
off the telly in the cupboard which includes some really
bizarre things that are doing a wire tape but there's not one of
them. So yeah, it's just it's just not
one of those just not one of those films.
You know, like I don't know where a private function or pain
bandit. So, you know, with Neil and I or
something, you know those sort of, yeah.
As I see British comedy films of the of the 80s that get props,
budget musicals made out of them, nobody suggested making
that clockwise musical. But don't you think?
I mean it was the IT was the experience of making this film,
which I think John Cleese said was when he read the script it
was he considered it there perfect.
And it is very well put together because it's Michael Frayn.
Michael Frayn is a wonderful writer playwright.
I think it didn't do great in America and it John Cleese
decided then that he wanted to make a big mainstream film that
would make money in in the States, which of course resulted
in Fish Called Wonder, which I know you're not that clean on.
No, I know. And it's sort of famously,
didn't it go to a screen writing classes.
So I'm sure in like film 89 or something, there were pictures,
you know, a voice over of Tom Brooke with a with joint clues
in a classroom full of people less the learning how to like
say over screenplay and so forth.
Because I think the problem with he exploited that the time was
structure. Of course, Michael Free is not
somebody who has any problems structuring a script, whereas I
think he did or said that's what he said he did.
He had the problem with. And it's interesting the script,
this particular script, which is the script is not the problem
with this problem as I watched it.
Problems. The direction.
Yeah, Yeah. So we'll get to that I think as
we go through it but at the end of it which again we're sort of
we'll get to all of this then but at the end of it is is very
Michael free you can you can see it's dripping and freed where a
lot of the earlier parts of it you can see why it wouldn't do
well in America because it would be a total bafflement to the
with the way the school was run and why it would matter you know
various different things. It's just a funny it's a bit of
an oddity but there was that period where there were films
get made here we like Welt now. Yeah you know.
Yeah, there's all those sort of your AD, you know, adaptations
of plays that I suppose was almost the equivalent of the
adaptations of a sitcoms. Yes.
That were used to get made before, but that brings me to my
sort of overarching point and this is what I watch that the
word I realized it's a he's just playing basil faulty.
He's still doing faulty. That's why I think it's so
interesting about his performance.
Whereas by the time he does a Fish called wonder, I think he's
kind of he's still doing this sort of wackiness and all that.
But this is basil. It's just basil.
The character in Wonder what's he called?
Archie Leach, I think. Archie Leach, Yeah, Gary Gary
with his real name. Yeah, that's right.
He's a bit, he's a bit wet. He's not, Yeah, he's he's got,
he's a bit spineless, really. Yeah, and then the point is,
supposing that the first one does, that, Jamie Lee cutters
his character, sort of draws a mood, makes him more
adventurous, and he has that famous scene, but he's dancing
about stripping himself off, getting speaking in Russian or
something. Yeah, yeah.
It's not a film. That I watched for the first
time ever a couple of weeks ago. I watched Fierce Creatures.
You've seen that well. You.
Oh yes, Pierce Creatures. Stephen Grace being Roddy
Corbett. But that's a bad film.
That's a properly bad film. Well, it yes, it is.
But I was. I was preparing myself for a
worse film than I feel it was, anyway.
It's not a great, not a great film.
But it not the car crash that it, you know, the legend has
grown up over the years that it's absolutely abysmal.
Oh no, it's not that bad. It's just not good.
It's not unwatchable, you know? It's not like splitting ears.
Oh God, no. Like you say about some Cleese
inch Clockwise plays Brian Stimson.
And yeah, I was thinking, yeah, absolutely.
You're thinking that this is just faulty.
With one exception. I feel the relationship because
Stimson is the headmaster of a comprehensive.
Yes. Somewhere in London I think and.
No, I think it's support. Well, is it supposed to be in
London where? I don't know.
It's got this, it's got that, it's got that sort of, you know,
like old fashioned, but it's full of accents you don't hear
anymore. Kids that don't talk like they
just talk like that English, they could be anywhere apart
from like Yorkshire. They could be like anywhere from
the South of England walk to the middle, but it could be
anywhere. It could be the East Midlands
somewhere, yeah. It's a BB.
It's 160 or 180 miles or whatever from Norwich, I know
that. Yeah, so.
So Stimson is the headmaster now.
If it was, if he was just playing it as faulty, he would
have nothing but contempt for his charges, for the for the
pupils. Whereas Stimson does seem to be,
even though he's quite anal about time keeping and whatnot
and he you can tell that he's quite strict in many areas.
He also seems to have a certain way with the people's quite a
certain affinity. Yeah because what he's talking
about you know he he right at the beginning of the assembly
he's talking about the fact that he's been you know he's made
he's making history by going to this headmaster's conference and
he will take up the chair and this is the first time that the
headmaster of comprehensive. Yes, achieve this in the history
of the world. But he's very inclusive because
he's saying we achieved this. But you sure?
You see, I think that's part. I think let's say a decorative
of the, or perhaps what might have led to not being a better
film. I think there's you can sense a
real tension between Michael Friends script and John Cleese's
performance, where he's trying to be.
It's always like Freda's trying to stop on being faulty.
Yeah. Whereas Cleese just advanced
stage in his career. Can't just can't help it because
he's just not moved past it and perhaps that's the all the way
he knows how to play it. I don't know.
Well, I mean that's how that's how it comes across to.
Me. There's one very specific bit in
this film which is just pure faulty.
Oh yeah, which is him kicking the car?
Kicking the car which which is almost exactly the same car.
Yes. Was that because the car in
Fawlty Towers was, wasn't Austin, was it?
And I think that. Yeah, I think it's the same I.
Don't know how much about cars, but in Fawlty Towers he's got
the he's got the branch and he's just whacking the car and then
in this he kicks it and falls into the mud.
Yeah. I mean that's a that's a
straightforward you could almost you could always hear them and
you know script conferences saying if we've got John Cleese
or jointly said if you've got me this is what I do this is what I
should be doing where and I think your friend is a the
script and free script is trying because there has to be a reason
this this brings me, I should say to my notes yes partly
written notes are actually written actually written on
paper with a pen well done is a kind which means I can't read
them. This afternoon as well, because
you you left it till this afternoon to no.
No, I watched that. I watched it when you suggested
this would be, well, going to watch that again this afternoon.
Very good. So I tell you the first thing
that strikes you in this film, which is the terrible music.
The music is terrible, It's desperately mediocre soundtrack
and I'd fight. I even said to create realms of
the commentaries theme he had said to me before I watched that
you'll recognize them by the music as.
And I even said always it's going to be like, you know,
saxophones. The doting hardness.
Yeah. And it's literally exactly what
happens with a rushing away. At one point the saxophone is
going, so the music doesn't help, but yeah.
But in 1986, watching it, that wouldn't have been dated, That
would have been highly contemporary.
You'd have been fine with that. But the problem is that it's it
goes to another part of the the another little issue with the
film, which is no way, this is what I say about the direction
and no way is this film cinematic.
It's ATV movie. It's filmed as ATV movie by ATV
director. Christopher Monahan was ATV
director. Yeah, tell me about him, because
I meant to do some more research on him.
What's his background? I mean, it's it's like, well,
it's and literally television. I mean he's done the odd
literally. I mean when I see TV movie I
mean that is the only that's as close as he got to films as far
as I could see. But apart from that is episodic
television and which is fine I'm not the crying.
I'm not criticizing the you but but it's a very different thing
you know director of the film which means that it it would
this would have been like a perfectly fine you know extreme
one. You know, like I don't know like
Pat, Pat and Margaret or something, but it's not, it's
not a film, just that that suggests that you need to see at
the back chills and the music's is adequate to that, whereas a
nice soundtrack would have would have lifted it a bit more.
But that's the way I'm sure there were various budgetary
reasons and so forth. So yeah, a little few little
bits and pieces that are very much data of its time.
For example, the premise of a comprehensive doing well as an
immediately basis for a plot is is interested because it's, you
know part of the part of the accepted truisms of the time
that comprehensives were terrible.
And you know, therefore how could you know they're doing
well and being run well and everybody being fine and being
recognized was you're already you're you're drawing on the
audience's preconceptions because that's what everybody
thought. Everybody did think that.
Yeah. But this is what what you get
what This is where we get to your point about stepson as a
successful head teacher because it kind of suggests that he's
just because he's organized and shouts at people and has you
know like a little They had this little intercom, the tanoi thing
that he shouts that people in the in the in the playground to
tell them they're supposed to be a certain class or whatever.
And he has his mantra of 920, which is the time for executions
where you go to the headmaster's study and so forth.
But I mean, is that really enough to suggest a school
that's become so successful? It doesn't really convey very
much of of how well runners, No, but we have to, or why or why
he's exceptional. We have to assume that he he's
very good at, he's very good at his job, otherwise why would he
have been awarded this? Well, yeah, but that's the point
is that I think the point is they tell you that he's very
good at his job. They don't really spend very
long demonstrating it. But you know obviously you don't
have a lot of time and one of the great benefits of it, it's
like, you know, I know it in a half long, which I is always an
immediate borders of my eyes nowadays.
But yeah, the the the one of the other things that notice that
the the the way it's portrayed, you know, the way that the
school is portrayed or just schools at the time compared to
now, you know, you might as well be it might as well be in like
you know Tom Brown school days. It's just them.
Even though it's what, 37 years ago, it's a it's a light age
away from from nowadays, you know, the the the way people,
the way the kids behave, the way they talk, the way they dress,
you know, it's just another world.
And I think that's one of the things that I think quite
dealing about. Well, you notice the assembly at
the beginning. The boys and girls are
completely separated. Yes, they've given still get the
boys and girls sort of entrances.
Yeah. And things.
But you know it's just the idea of of like the headmaster shouts
920. So you turn up at 9:20.
Nobody's talking back. Nobody's caused any trouble.
Nobody's everybody's wearing their uniform, albeit, you know
shut out and hear a bit ruffled and tired, tiny knots and all
that sort of thing. And of course this is it's.
The other thing that occurred to me watching it, sorry Chris, but
so he's got this, he's almost in like this, this, this
comprehensive school equivalent of air traffic control tower
where he's where he's surveying the whole of the school.
Yeah, the whole of his domain. And like you say, with his, with
his tanoi or. Intercom.
And the kids presumably know that.
You know that they will have experiences every single day.
And yet it doesn't stop kids beating up a land or really good
grumble magazine or whatever You'd expect it to be Completely
deserted wouldn't. You.
Yeah, just around the corner. But you know a bit further is
you know it's that's the way it was and then they have the
assembly because so the premise data set up that he's obsessive
about punctuality. Yeah.
So at 9:00 exactly everybody's standing in the assembly and and
he comes and he gives them as, as you say, his little speech,
which is, which is I think is where friends script overtakes
the performance because he has to say we've done this, you
know, we've made this happen. And your mind, you're thinking,
well is this him? Just saying, is that an excuse
for his own ego? You know, Is he just, is he
really talking about yourself? But you feel that he does
actually mean it right now? I've got some sad news for you
all. I'm going to be away today.
I knew you'd be heartbroken right now.
Where am I going? I am going to the University of
Norwich in the fair county of Norfolk.
And why am I going there? I am going there because that's
where this year's annual meeting of the Headmaster's Conference
is being held. And you can all feel rather
proud of yourselves because they don't let just any old head
masters into their head Masters Conference.
Far from it. The Head Masters Conference is
the organization to which all the great independent schools of
this country belong. Places like Eaton and Harrow,
Winchester and Westminster. The fee paying schools, the posh
schools that we all look down our noses and that we'd all send
our children to if only we'd got the money.
They don't usually let. In head Masters of Common, Old
Garden Comprehensive schools or schools like this one.
So why, you ask, why did they let me in?
Well, I'll tell you why they let me in.
Because you and I, all of us together, have made Thomas
Tompion one of the best schools in the country.
Right then. But today, 9:20 Linda, he knows
that. And you know, he knows the names
of all the pupils because he's able to take them out.
And then and you know that sort of.
Thing Well, he's quite he's quite self deprecating as well,
which unlike Faulty, he's not. He's not a terrible person.
In fact he doesn't come across, I don't think in the whole film
really as a terrible he's not a martinet.
He's not a he's like I wrote my notes, he's a he's a slightly
less Tory version of Basil. Faulty in many ways I feel.
Yes, yeah, yeah. He's he's sort of he's sort of
less psychologically damaged than faulty.
Because faulty is a desperate man who's complete feels
completely trapped. You know, with his awful wife.
His idiot staff is terrible customers in any in a situation
he hates and and he's just a tormented man.
Stimson is obviously very happy. He is a successful skill.
He's good at his job everybody's doing the but you know but you
know he's not challenged in any way.
I know he's being recognized in a really you know grand way so
he's perfectly happy. But his problem is punctuality
and of course as it develops you find out from Penelope Wellness
character as we'll get to that. But it used he used to be
desperately bad being punctual. Hence his OCD about punctuality.
No, the plot. The plot then basically begins
when a very junior look very nice and Allison Stedman, who's
his, who plays his wife, comes to give him a left to the
station to go to the conference, which is in the far-flung
outpost of Norwich. Which I suppose for the audience
is supposed may be supposed to feel like it's quite no.
Exotic the. Exotic.
Sort of, yeah.
Like very, very like on the on the far reaches of the Kingdom,
you know, No idea. Basically not an easy place to
get to from wherever they are, But then things progress and
then that's when they start to really enjoy it because there
are so many great things for somebody like me to enjoy.
Did you notice? Did you notice her when she
picks him or she arrives to take him to the station?
Yeah. And it was, it was on upon me
watching this again for the purpose of this.
It's the first time I picked up on it.
It's just in terms of a dated thing.
She gets into the car, which I think is a Ford Cortina.
It's just a lovely Cortina, yeah.
And she reaches over and unlocks the passenger side door so he
can get in. Yeah.
Yeah, there's no such thing as central locking in those days.
No, no, You'd had to pay a lot more for that.
I don't think you'd have caught it.
Not Cortina. You might want a Granada.
We had a Cortina with a black Cortina.
Oh, yeah. It was close for, you know,
actually one night. And we had a driveway now.
Yeah. One morning when we were getting
taken to school with the Cortina, the police arrived and
they started to question that because the car had been taken
away during the night and used in a robbery and then brought
back and parked. Wow.
Very considerate, very considerate.
Robbers. It's.
One of those things. Quite clever, really.
Anyway, no nice week, Cortina, and she drives away.
OK, sorry again. This is one of those films which
would not exist if mobile phones existed then.
Yes. No, that's what I was going to
get to because. So they go to the station, she
drops them off after. You get a sense that the
marriage is not terribly happy. She's a bit annoyed.
She gets, you know, she's going to sort of take for granted, but
that's never really developed that much.
But it's it's necessary for something.
So she takes at the station and then there's a back cross talk
with Or was his name the actor John?
Garden. Barton And it's that sort of and
again this is very Michael Free that sort of left platforms, the
left, right, left on the left, right, right, right and it goes
the wrong one. No.
As you see nowadays, the train would leave and he would just
phone somebody, you know, pick me up at the station or
whatever, you know, come and get me and that would be it.
So it must be very difficult now to write fastest based on
misunderstandings with when everybody's got mobile.
But this is probably just as well Rick, And he's dead, so
they. Do you think that so obviously
Stimpson gets on the wrong train?
Yes, was the train to Plymouth? Yeah.
And because as he is, as he is informed by the man who plays
the bed salesman and the answer to bedebs would step to.
I didn't pick up on that. OK, so Stimson gets on the wrong
train. And for someone who's obviously
we're we're we're led to believe is so exact and everything he
does, yeah, it seems slightly sloppy, but maybe that's why.
Maybe it's it's in his past. Because we know that he was
always late when he was a younger man.
Well, we find that out from Penelope Walton's character in a
bit, Yeah. So that's a bit of a sort of a
revelation. And you're meant to think, I
think there's supposed to be. I think that's the sort of key
to the character is that he's so obsessive now about his time
keeping because he used to be so terrible at it.
And perhaps when you when you find that out you you come to
realise that his real character is desperately on Pulchul and
disorganize and the rest of it is just a veneer.
Now this is again when I get to see about the contention between
free and faulty. Because Michael with a maybe a
different actor that wasn't trying to impose quite
particular performance on it, maybe more of that would have
come out but be a different director would have been able to
bring more of it out. So it doesn't really come it
doesn't really come to a boil that that that that sense of of
the duality of them. But it's yeah.
Nice to stay out. Yeah.
But of course then he leaves a speech, and there's a nice bit
with Tracy's good speech speech. And John Bonded System wants me
to make a speech. How the?
Custom does I am to. Public but the yeah, but the you
know, but it's like I say, it's dropping this stuff out of the
station. Looks amazing.
The Mother Lord comes later when they go to a shell garage which
is fantastic. But anyway, even in fact of
course the wafers then gone. Alice has said when Mrs. Simpson
is going to, it's mentioned you know she's going to go and take
some old ladies around for a run sort of obviously something that
she does. She wanted to come to the
conference, but there's no waves allowed can.
I just say when I think of this. That was a different thing.
Yeah, when I think of this film. Yep.
Two things into my head. One is the the line.
This is a historic yeah as as referenced in my little
introduction. The other is Sherry glasses.
Oh yes, the pics are just constantly.
Actually, I was going to come to the point that that what I think
is, is one of the strengths of the film is it's at the fag end
of that period of films made Here we are.
Almost everybody is a is a worthy actor, you know,
Everybody is great. Everybody's a proper actor.
Every tiny part and one of the best parts, one of the best
people. The three people in it are the
three old ladies, especially Jordan Hickson and Anna Ray who
who are fantastic, but Jordan Hickson who is just a fantastic
performance of that. You know, that sort of a she's
obviously supposed to have some kind of dementia, which you
wouldn't have been referenced at the time was just Batty old
lady. No, it would be sort of a tragic
decline into, you know, the into the twilight dusk of our years.
Then it's just a Batty old woman with a incredible sort of purple
fright here. And she's, she just stands and
keeps her going on. But, I mean, she went to
Majorca. Why would you need cherry
glasses and people through the door Now?
The liqueur glasses came to me from my mother.
I understand the genies always had her aisle then, so she said.
Ellie, it's no use letting Lou have the shady glasses.
She won't appreciate them. She won't Polish them.
She know what she's like. So I said, well, all right.
I've no desire to burden people with possessions.
They don't want her, I said that's not my intention and
never has been. So naturally, she thought, if
the shady glasses aren't going to Lou, they be going to pair.
I thought to myself, Wait a moment, I'll keep moving.
Missus trellis. Nearly there.
We've got a moment, Gilly. I thought.
Are we going to the hospital? We're at the hospital, Mrs.
Weil. We're just going to have a
little look at the country. How lovely.
Oh, isn't that lovely? Not so far, Gilly.
I thought if Pen gets, she'll give them to Deb's.
We all know what she'll do. Aren't we lucky?
And actually, I wasn't sure of the time of this, but so
Clockwise is 1986 and Hexon's first Marple is 87, I think, or
86 or 87 K So this would have been, you know, just at the very
end of four days as a job in character, actually.
And of course, she was best known, I suppose.
Yeah. She was never a star prior to
Marple, really, was she? But she was.
She was known for playing kind of busy body landlady types,
wasn't she? More or less the next door.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Noisy landlady's,
you know, not, you know, gossipy old women.
Yeah. You know, like in Heavens Above,
for example, whenever the Reverend Smallwood goes to the
door, she's, you know, I can't talk just now because, you know,
I've got the washing machine on. Yes.
That's right. She's in an epic episode of
Crime Court, right, where she's the accused and she's accused of
poisoning her neighbour's dog. And the.
I mean, I'm not being facetious. Her performance in it is
absolutely incredible and she must have thought by the time
that she got to to do this, that you know, well, that's just
about it. And a little did she know that
she was just about to become a world famous star, which she
would be until she died. And yeah, and you and you
mentioned and Anne Way, who plays the sweet little old Yes.
And of course, she's also in faulty towels.
She's one of the she's the major twitching his wife too small
and. Dry.
Yes, I'm sure. I would say that.
She's like, oh, I'm good to be sick.
I'll give you another one. No.
There's a few, there's a few faces from faulty towels In this
you've got Pat Keane, who's Laura's mum.
Yes, yeah. Who was?
Who was in the anniversary episode?
Yeah, but she's also she's in the episode with a or would you
call it a? I'm not satisfied.
You know the. Oh, Mrs. Richards.
No, no. That's John Sutherland.
That's not Joan. That's Joan Sanderson.
Sanderson not George Sutherland. I would have been off.
I'm not satisfied. No.
Yeah. Just no.
I'm thinking of the way, you know when he's doing the the
Waldorf salad and Bruce Boy is Bruce Boy is saying this is the
crummiest of telling all the guests coming down and she's the
mother that the the mom and this Jeff Rogers wife is.
She's got crutches. She says I'm not satisfied.
I'm not satisfied because people like you never are.
That's right. That's right.
But she wasn't. She was also one of Bezels and
Sybil's friends in the anniversary.
Yes, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
And of course, Jeffrey Palmer, of course.
Jeffrey Palmer. Yes.
What, They still want the sausages and he's one.
And again one of the funnier. Him and Peter Sailor and they're
just very funny at the end of it.
Yeah. But anyway, so you know as the
as the clock progresses, it just becomes, I mean there's no point
going through all of it but it comes a sort of my eyes of
misunderstandings and and yeah, yeah it's it's but the the
points of it, when you think this is just going on too long,
you know that we don't need to always relate.
There was this particular scene of when they're in the car and
all that. You think, why is this lasting
so long? So the pacing of it isn't
brilliant. One of the other things I wrote
down was a disappointing lack of hijinks in the monastery, which
I thought would do. I just thought, remembering it
particularly, I thought what it for all sorts of shenanigans,
but really well. And I thought the joke about the
because, you know, he thinks that they're Trappists.
Yeah, Michael Aldridge comes out and he's just smiles and all
that's. Wonderful.
And he's very good, Michael, obviously.
But I thought the joke would they were building up to was
that after he left, Michael Aldridge would turn to somebody
say I wonder what he wanted. But of course he actually says,
Oh no, we speak and I'd rather give the key.
And you couldn't help thinking it was like, if I stumbled into
that honesty, I'd never leave it look amazing.
Yeah, OK. But.
And I understand. So Stimson has a bath because
he's covered in mud. Yes, and his clothes are taken
away because they are also covered in mud.
Yeah, but it doesn't seem like he's decide.
It doesn't seem like he's got a plan for what happens next and
he seems, but he seems quite happy he's in the bath, he's
singing. Well, at the scene before that
when he's sitting covered in mud, he has his sort of first
moment of self reflection where he's just sort of sitting there
and he obviously doesn't think he's going to make it and
they've already he's already dropped away without paying for
petrol. Petrol by the way.
Four-star at 45 Pencil. I saw that.
I actually went back to check and the same way that you drive
past petrol stations and say even to yourself 01/30, it's
like 01410 that's bad. Yeah.
So he says he has this sort of moment of self reflection with
the prior or the Abbott or whatever the KP Fryer and I
just, I just he seems quite resigned to all and you think if
they hadn't actually. Of course, we've also had an
excellent scene with Tony Hager one.
Of the stand out scenes, I would.
Yeah, he's and actually one of the better directed scenes where
they have the hedge up the middle, yes.
And Tony Hager sitting on the tractor and Simpson on the other
side of it. You can't see the tractor.
You going to Norwich? Yes.
So if we can just find a tractor, what shortcut is it?
Lost our way. So we must quickly find a
tractor. Wow.
My advice is this. Yes.
If you're going this way, Yes. Find a tractor.
A tractor? Yes.
Stay on the bloody thing. All the way to Naric.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
I'll tell you something else. Yes, thank you.
Know what? I'm sitting on for my home.
All right, my old dear, you look that way and I look this and I
bet you a jam tar I find attractive.
First, you have that again.
That's that's quite faulty, Rather than.
That is, you know. Yeah, without Stimson being
because in the car before he gets out of the car because
they're stuck in the mud. But this time he's picked up an
LP, Bolton and the lash is still there.
He's very reasonable. You know he seems like calm down
with reassess our circumstances. You know we we look at it when
you know, what do we do we don't panic.
And he's all very calm and rational and when he gets to the
the monastery he has the sort of moment of yeah acceptance and
and you know and he was saying and he's seeing things like it
would have been so nice for the kids.
And that's what I mean when you're supposed to are you
supposed to think that he's saying that what you really
means that it would have been so nice for me.
Yeah. Is it really about the kids?
It's actually about him. But again, it's it's just not
brought completely out, you know?
But it's there. But of course it all goes out
the window because he hears God, I can't remember her name.
That's terrible. Laura.
Right.
Can we just talk about Laura for a moment?
Because, yeah, quite apart from the hair, which was so
distracting, that hair. Well, she looks like a 35 apart
I. Think she was 24, the actress?
Yeah, all right. She certainly don't certainly
know sex form. I believe the English call it.
Yeah, that's it. Sex year was the first normal
people call it. She was.
I mean, she was fine. Yes, she's fine.
But. She has an introducing after
all. Yeah, she wasn't in a lot of of
wasn't in much of note after this.
No, she's she's had a few episodes of things.
Sharon Maiden is the actress. Yeah.
Here's the thing though. So I've watched this film
countless times over the years. Yeah, I I think I first saw it
on video when it soon after it was released on video.
So the would have been 87 or 88, something like that, Yeah.
And I've had it taped over the years, you know.
So I've watched it so many times.
It was only watching it this time round because I'm, I'm
paying slightly more attention. There's a plot point that it
completely eluded me and I've never actually.
What do you mean affair with the teacher?
Yes, I had never, until this watch connected that she was
going out with or had been seeing.
Yeah, with Stephen Moore. Stephen Moore's character, Mr.
Jolly. Yeah, because it makes sense
now. Because why was Why was Mr.
Jolly? Yeah.
Why was he travelling Jolly? Because because she had fought.
When she said to them she was going for her boyfriend from the
petrol station, that's who she phoned.
But we don't know that. We have to piece it together.
Well, no, because, well, no, we do know that because he knows
that, that she's going to Norwich.
Yeah, but. But we don't, it's not
explicitly. We don't see him on the other
end of the phone when she phones.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're supposed to just piece
that he. Turns up on her parents house.
Parents house, yeah. And he knows that she's going to
Norwich, doesn't he? Which, yeah, it never occurred
to me what you know, how would he know that?
And then Simpson's wait. Then Missus Simpson turns up and
then that's when because he's she has seen him and Laura at
the petrol station. Yes, you think they're having an
affair. That doesn't really go anywhere.
But that's what she thinks. That's why she goes to Norwich.
She's going to Norwich, the door Laura's going to, which means
Jeffrey Hutchins and they're going to Norwich.
Jeffrey Hutchins in this. Jeffrey Hutchins He doesn't get
a single wife, but. He's he's made out to be like
this, this coiled. Sporinet Yeah, yeah.
We're sort of denoted by the creaking, the rigidity of his of
his leather outfit. Barely suppressed rage.
But he's just. He's completely.
He's very good at passive, so they're going to Norwich.
She takes the old woman to Norwich and they of course say
Lauren Stepson are going to Norwich and her dad's, you know,
much treasured, Austin, whoever, yeah, Princess.
And then sort of things go awry. I didn't enjoy.
No, that's Sorry. No, I enjoy everything about
this film mostly. Yeah.
Well, there's nothing that bores me particularly, but I felt that
the Penelope Wilton bit could have been dispensed with.
And I think the only reason for for that was so that we had a
little bit of a back story to Stimson.
And also because obviously the the film climaxes with various
counties, police forces turning up looking for Stimson at the
Headmaster conference. Yeah, I think there's 33 laws.
And she's been reported as being kidnapped, isn't she?
But she's reported by her mother because we stopped to make a
phone call. He goes through faulty on the
phones. An old deal across the road says
to phone the police and Penelope Bolton, her daughter says I'll
keep them busy. Well, you phone the police and
of course it turns out there were.
She's been in Australia but she's back and they were at
teacher training college together.
Now that's very again, very Michael Free and sort of
coincidences and it brings out more of his character.
But after that she's just there to sort of complain.
There's a tall mystery why she does anything he tells her.
Well. Yeah, because he says that, she
says. This is a nice car even though
one of the wings. Is on the roof.
On the roof. He says.
Do you want a test drive or something like that?
And she says yes. Now why would she?
Why didn't she just say, well no because as she says loudly
seconds later, I've just put out my lunch so that you know that
it's it's there are a couple of times where you think why are
people doing this? No, I think what you're supposed
to believe is when it gets to the end was much better realized
is that Stimpson has, as a headmaster has some sort of a
super, but he manages to get people to do what they're told
because of his timber and his his authority his.
Bearing. His bearing?
Yeah, exactly. You know, so maybe, I think
maybe that's what it's supposed to be, because it gets people to
do things that makes absolutely no sense.
The thing that does actually make absolutely no sense is the
weird sort of suggestion that they're they're in for a
threesome in the woods where he's dressed with the guy in the
Porsche. Yeah, it's very funny, that bit.
But yeah, very. But why would he do that?
Why would he do that? Oh, anyway, so that's how we get
because they need him to get suit back, basically because
he's in a, he's in a he's in a habit or something.
What do you call it? John Cleese.
Does he have something where he likes being semi naked or even
fully naked in films? Because.
That's a lot. Yeah, I mean, you don't.
You don't. You only see his upper half in
this. But obviously, you know, if the
window or if he'd been taller or the window, yeah, lower down,
we'd have seen everything. And you see him in his pants.
Yeah and and of course he's you see him fully naked from behind
in Fish Called Wanda. I'm not.
I can't remember in Fierce Creatures.
I had think I had my head in my hands during much of that film.
But but he does like to strip off.
Well, he's not. He's not backwards coming
forward, certainly. No, the other thing about it as
well. So Laura's having an affair with
Mr. Jolly, who's Mr. Jolly is great by the way.
Stephen Moore. It's wonderful in this.
He's a great actor, Stephen Moore, and he has that outfit
that is, again, they're completely relying or you know
that sort of a he's got a knitted tie and he wears
corduroy. So he's obviously a woolly, you
know, Liberal. He's a geography teacher or
something, isn't he? Yeah, he's obviously, he's
obviously not say steps of material.
Well, he's not. He's not.
He's possibly not quite as as left wing as that other teacher
at the beginning. Yeah, the one who looks like
he's Ricky Tomlin. Yeah, basically.
Slam at the conference, Brian, tell all those upper class
ponces we're going to hang him from the lamppost by the old
school tires. Right.
Thank you, Ted. The point I was going to make?
So Laura's obviously quite be comfortable having a
relationship with an old, a much older man.
Well, he, she even says at one point, laughingly.
I always end up falling in with older men.
Yeah, but there's never any suggestion that there's ever
going to be anything between her and Stimson.
You know he he behaves highly appropriately throughout.
He does, yeah. There's never any.
And it's quite interesting that because you've already set up a
relationship between a teacher and a student.
Yeah. Which, you know, would hardly be
the basis for nowadays, for late comedy.
But she never comes on to Stimson.
You know, you're never sort of given the sense that she's, she
feels that she's anything other than the sort of accomplice.
Do you not think there's maybe? She's quite happy to go along
with it all. You know she is.
And do you not think you know when?
When Pat, when Penelope Wilton's character is totally fed up
rather and and basically said I'm leaving.
Yeah. And she's and Laura's like we
can't leave Mr. Stimpson and she goes running up to the
monastery. Do you not think there's
possibly then maybe a little bit of a schoolgirl crush on him,
maybe, or some sort of? Well, but I think that also I
think that gets back to this sort of a sense that not
terribly well conveyed of his sort of innate power as
headmaster because she has a pupil and remember when they
first beat, she just the first time she does this apologize
while not being in school. Yes, I'm very sorry, but it's a.
Free. I'm on a free.
About the Free is not free, it's a study period, I tell you one
of the things that this film gave me and watched the back
again was a total rush of memories.
Rush of You know you're you're working out your periods for the
day. You know your your plan of which
I somehow stuck a week back about thought of since I leave
school Yeah. How did we keep out?
But I can't even remember how we worked it.
I think we must have done we chat or something of what what
what classes you were in and where you are.
God. Yeah.
That, that took me back. No, I don't think.
I don't think you come away with.
There's a bit, you know, when she goes up and she sits on the
podium with him at the end of the guys.
What's that about? That doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make any sense. And it doesn't make any sense
unless she feels that she's got a relationship with him.
And. But I think by that point the
relationship has, as I say, one of sort of accomplice, like
she's taking care of them or she's gone like she's gone to
the police. So she deserves to be sitting
next to him because otherwise it doesn't make any sense.
It's a very strange choice because she's only there so that
when Alice is deadly comes in, she sees her standing next sit
next to him and then he does a sort of double take and doesn't
realize she's there. And that's the only reason,
because there's no other reason for her to be there.
But anyway, as we say, various hijinks leave the sheep because
she instigates the the plot to steal the the Porsche.
So that's what I mean about her feeling that she's, you know, in
it with them. And she's quite happy.
You almost get the impression. You almost get the impression
she's done the sort of thing before, dare I say it?
I mean that poor guy who has his car which is not had stolen.
He reminded me a bit of a little bit of like a British Ned
Beatty. The pure, heartless guy who's
going to has a suit taken at his job.
You'll lose his job. He's lost all his money just for
the purpose of getting stumps into that bloody conference.
But she's quite happy to do it. She doesn't have any compulsions
about it. What's the trouble?
Go for a little walk? Go for a walk in the woods, you.
You want to. Go for a walk.
Don't you want to come? What do you mean?
What? No one around?
Oh, this beats everything. Sorry about this father. 5
minutes, that's all. Pick a few flowers.
Come on then, Tim. Oh, no.
You want him to come? You want Father There?
Come on, the sun's out. It's a funny old world, isn't
it? They managed to snick his this
guy's suit, He's got the the Monks robes on, he's giving a
chase. He realizes what's happening and
he's begging them. And you've got this this other
guy who's having a whiz behind a tree watching all this happening
it with mountings that have astonishment.
And then they they managed to drive off leaving this poor guy
and he goes, he goes sort of marching over to this guy and he
says I knew it from the moment she stuck her thumb up and.
He gives that sort of they finally get to the court now.
In the meantime was sitting up towards them because they get to
the school, the posh school where the conference is
happening, but before they get to it, because the last you see
of them at this stage is driving away in the Porsche.
But in the meantime, Alice's statement and the old ladies
have arrived at the conference. Some corpers have arrived and
they know that this is what for me.
This is when it gets starts to get really good, Really good,
because you have all these very stuffy head masters herding like
cats, these old ladies that keep wanting to go out to go to the
toilet. And then more policemen arrive,
and then they're quite happily are saying more for the Stimson
party. Including Nick Stringer, who has
he ever not played a police detective?
Sergeant Absolutely. The thing is, one of the most
obvious things, one of the most glaring things I noticed from
this conference is it's just it's it's a hall full of
middle-aged white men. There's no, Yeah, there's no
other. No.
Well, they're, I suppose that head masters of public schools
in England than the 80s Wales in the going to be and in fact
they're not even allowed women. Certainly not.
Well in the sense that they're not allowed to bring their
girlfriends or partners, which means obviously none of the
actual heads of women. So it's just all these old white
dudes. With Benjamin Witch Row as the
sort of the the chief organizer. Yeah the brothers good years.
Jeffrey Palmer. There's Peter Celia.
You know there's loads of them yeah they're great.
They're just great and but they seem to but what's also very
clever that fade does is he as as it progresses they turn more
and more into school boys where they were which so Stimson
actually eventually arrives. I just trying to do a speech and
he's got like the bad suit on with the one sleeve coming off.
But he starts to address them like his assembly.
You know, and like, you know, tell them to be quiet and you
all come and sit down and they all begin to act like children,
where they're doing what they're told and they're standing and
they're sitting down. And even when he gets taken out
to get and he's getting arrested, they'll say they all
rush to the windows like kids. It's just really nice.
Yeah, that was that was nice. The one thing that spoiled it
slightly for me, yeah, was this one guy doing like a Spitfire
impression. Yeah, he's kind of, yeah, he's
jumped on the chair. He's over doing that.
But as an afterthought, I was looking at this thing.
I was thinking, I recognize that skill, the actual skill where
they were doing this. And then they read this at the
end. They find that it's the King
Edward's School in Edgbaston, which is famous.
Alumni include Enoch Powell. OK.
And JRR Token, OK, right. Because it's on the edges of
Birmingham, right. So very poor school and we're
talking was there, it was basically in the country site.
But after he got back from South Africa, that's where he went to
school. OK.
So it is a properly Porsche school which is sort of
apartment to support. They probably filmed, certainly,
certainly don't know, certainly don't know it.
Yeah, they're probably filmed during the school holidays or
something. There.
Oh, presumably, Yeah. And what I mean is that's one of
the things that's noticeable is it's absolutely, the weather is
absolutely beautiful. It's amazing, absolutely
gorgeous. I've got the, I've got the.
Just let me just find it. Here we go.
Filming took place in June and July 1985 in Hull, Shropshire,
in Birmingham. I'm guessing the fields.
All the fields were Shropshire. The school at the end is
Birmingham and presumably the the, the, the comprehensive is
whole. Yeah, I felt locked and
confident about somewhere. We see a lot of police, a lot of
policemen in this. Yeah, a lot of nice little panda
cars. Yeah, you got Richard Bryding.
That's his name, isn't it? Who's, who's the heavy set now?
Probably best known as the voice of Daddy Pig on Peppa Pig.
Yeah, no, it's funny. It's funny that because I was
watching a clip the other day on YouTube and I watch a lot of
YouTube. So much wonderful stuff.
But anyway, a clip of the Graham Nortel popped up, which I don't
really watch. The Grim.
Not sure. But anyway, I did popped up and
there was some Lassie on it I didn't recognize.
But you know, they were saying all your father's in the
audience and it was him and his daughter.
Must be somebody. I don't recognize her.
She must be. I think she's a musician.
But then what I thought was, I thought was really a shame was a
game not said. You're an actor, aren't you?
Yeah, you said fucking you. Who framed Roger Rabbit?
Oh, about respect. He's been so much stuff.
He's a great actor. He's also one of my favorite TV
adaptations, which is the early 90s.
One of the Tom Jones you know, the Max Beasley one, OK, which
is when she plays a preferred old court work with.
He was. He was very good, right?
He was very good in a there was a dramatization of the Yorkshire
Ripper case. Yes. 1520 years ago, yeah.
And he played. It was kind of like George
Oldfield's second in command. I say, yeah, no, he's a he's a
really good actor. I just thought it was assumed.
They said you're an actor. You're an actor, Actor, really.
Oh well, hang on. Yeah, because the people
watching the Graham Norton Show, none of them would ever clue who
he was. No, I was, I suppose.
You know it's not Pebble Mill at one.
You've also got another, another brief bit with a with a
policeman and you've got you've got the the actor that I always
referred to as wrong, Tom Leslie Schofield.
Yeah. Who?
Who played Tom in the third series of The Fallen Rise of
Reginald Perrin? Yeah, Patch on What's his name?
Tim Priest. I think I honestly can't
remember. Yeah, and that weird return
series of Reggie Perrin the. The legacy.
The legacy, yeah. Yeah.
I think Stephen Will said that. I think he fight.
He was the only funny thing in it.
I remember don't. Remember very much about it.
When I had Mike Fainted Stevens on the show.
Yeah, he had a He had a recurring role or he he was one
of the regular characters in the Legacy of Regional Perrin and
his catch phrase because obviously you had in the
original series you had David Harris Jones and what was the
other one called Tony. Kind of just trying to remember
great and. Super great and super and and in
this sequel, yes, you've got Mike Fenton Stevens and his
character goes something that wasn't it was either wicked or
awesome. Which just makes very, very 19.
Makes my rectum contract. A few things we've missed.
I have to see the the Shell Garage now.
I can't see enough about the Shell Garage.
It was so awesome, even in the background of the short, I
couldn't quite see the whole of it.
But there was a promoted poster and it was something for Bruce's
something. There must have been the
promotion that Shell had on at the time with a text textbook
cartoon it over a little body back head.
And he said Bruce's some something.
And I thought, oh God, I'm desperately trying to see the
rest of the poster. The hospital even looks
unbearably queen. No, today because it just it
looks like it's that, it's that thing where so little seemed to
change between sort of the 60s and the 80s in a lot of ways.
You know, institutional places look the same, church halls look
the same, schools look the same to a great extent.
And then suddenly everything changed.
Now it's now it's like another. It really is like another.
It's like a time ward, you know? The hospital would would just be
nothing like that now. Nice little buildings and little
gardens and there's no great parking.
Probably, you know, car parks or anything.
Nice little ambulance bays, just all civilized.
I don't know, it's not reality, but I mean, it's not like
they've dressed the whole hospital for him.
And of course, somebody taking 3 old ladies away just for the
day, which now would require, you know, disclosure checks and.
See what the CBA What do they call it?
CBCBR. Yeah, so you know and and you
know and all sorts of things. Just on the Alison Stedman,
Yeah, we don't need to talk about how great she is because
we know how great she is. But she.
We don't have. She's given a lot to do, really.
Is she in this? No, no, she's not really given
very much. She's not really given very much
to do. She doesn't get well prove this,
which she doesn't get to do any state money business.
She doesn't even get very many lines.
So it's it's I suppose she was at that point in her career
where doing a film would have been another progression for
her. You know it's just a good little
good little step up. Getting films, even if it's a
film or the, you know, localized low scale like this, is as you
know, it's a step ahead. And and it was, I'm guessing,
because was Penelope Wilton filming ever decreasing circles
around this time? 86 I would have suspected.
So, yeah. Yeah, she would have been one of
the sort of will cake pieces that appeared in it, Which is
why I suppose that character maybe get written to be a bit
more than it was then it needed to be, you know, because she's
very good. I mean, she's she's great in it,
you know, because she's great for the LP mill.
I haven't driven in this country for 20 years.
Never mind. Off you go.
Married a dentist. Down under.
Right. Just brought the kids over to
stay with Mum. We were going to have lunch.
Right, Let's go. You've got time for lunch,
haven't you? I bet you're starving.
I've got one your age. Well, I haven't.
Leave her. Get the fries over the 1st.
All right. Once round the block, then close
your eyes and pray. On the left.
Still, isn't it? Right, on the right.
Lift. Lift.
Right. Recasting who?
Who would you if Cleese wasn't available?
Who would you see in this role? Oh, blame me.
There's a question, I tell you. Who was a great head?
I'm not sure who would work on this.
But I tell you who was a great headmaster and a contemporary
series which are much more realistic?
Mrs. McCluskey. No, no.
Missing McCluskey would not have made any of these mistakes.
She would have gone to Norwich. I had time to greet everybody.
I've been absolutely fine. There was a Grange Hill Connect
connection in this film. Did you notice it?
Oh God, you know what is it? Tell me.
There was a very, very brief scene at the train station with
Mark Burdis. He was a regular on Grange Hill.
All right. Oh cool.
I couldn't tell you the character's name, but it's that
bit when Simpson's at the station and he's talking to.
Oh yeah. Yeah, John.
Barden and he that, he suddenly stops mid centers and barks out
loud the names of these two students who are obviously
playing hooky. Yeah, the girl.
The girl is Nadia Swalla by the. Way Yeah, that's right.
Yeah. With that they've got like the
full pub here, the jaggy called Dog Collars and things on, yeah.
Sorry, but you were saying a contemporary, somebody who's
played a contemporary headmaster for this?
Yeah, and Adrian Moore, the headmaster, was played by
Freddie Jones. And he was sort of permanently
exasperated. You know, somebody who was just
groping for retirement. I just, you know, and frustrate,
you know, like Adrian, even Adrian Moore, who you know,
wasn't a problem at school but was just a pain in their hearts.
And he was, he was great. He was a great headmaster and he
was at a very little, but he was very funny.
Maybe if it had been made a few years earlier.
Yep. Maybe Richard Wilson?
Oh, Richard Wilson would have been great.
Richard Wilson would have been. No, I wouldn't.
Had to be made earlier for Richard Wilson.
No. Probably.
Probably not. He would have been.
He would have been perfect. Funnily enough, I was just
watching back recently some Richard Wilson because for
various reasons I won't go into, I was trying to find a clip of
Tutti Frutti. Oh yeah.
And I was talking about it, OK And I've seen how you know the,
the, the breakout stars from Tutti Frutti, which is the same
time I think 86. I'm sure it's.
I'm sure it's a bit 86. OK yeah.
So the breakout stars from it were Emma Thompson really.
Robbie Coltrane was always already been in films but he
wasn't that big a star. So Robbie Coltrane and Ava
Thompson were the sort of that was what sort of a skyrocketed
their careers. 87 It was. Oh, OK, yeah, yeah.
But OK. When was what year was Thompson?
Oh, well, it would have been just after that, because.
I watched an episode of that. Oh my God, I watched.
I mean, I watched it every week when it was on, I'm never sure
why. Like I thought I was sort of
expecting it eventually to be funny place of heart.
And she was, you know, like at the time, tools where she was
doing sort of interpretive dance or something.
What the actual fuck is going on with us?
The listeners who are unaware, Thompson was, rather
surprisingly, given her own show at and she'd barely, but she'd
been in Tutti Frutti and an episode of The Young Ones and
and I suppose a few other things.
But she was relatively unknown, wasn't she?
I suppose. Oh yeah, no, absolutely.
She really was. And it was.
It was a sort of sort of sketch show.
Yeah, but. And she written some of it as
well when it was just didn't land.
I it was, yeah. I don't know.
I don't know what they were thinking.
Well, like I say, they did meet her a star too different and
made her sorry any. Of the point is they were the
sort of breakout stars. But what's often forgotten is
that, certainly for all of us watching it, the real stars of
it were Richard Wilson and Katie Murphy as Eddie Clockerty and
Miss Toner. And they were they were
fantastic. And it that it was starting sort
of gave Richard Wilson's career a boost thing.
I'm sure this will got to 1 foot in the grave.
Hot metal was the year after, I think.
Yeah, but I mean, he had been in lots of sitcoms.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he'd been in only one.
I laugh and things like that. Yeah, yeah.
In an episode of 1 Foot in the Grave, yes.
He's having one of his customary renting phone calls with some
tradesman or other and he's or he's trying to get through to
some help desk and he's talking about some something that's some
delivery to the house or some installation to the house or
something that's been delivered, which is totally wrong.
And he's trying. And the person on the other end
says, can you remember the name of who it was that delivered it
or installed it? And he said, I think his name
may have been Frank Spencer, right?
But of course, Richard Wilson had appeared.
Oh, really did? An episode of Some mothers do.
Heaven, always the same universe.
Yeah. But in a funny one, as opposed
to some Mothers Do album, Yes, which is just a fucking idiot
falling down. What cause One From the Grave is
one of those shows? It's a bit like, in a way.
It's like, I don't suppose this comparison's ever been drawn.
It's about like Casablanca. You're like if you say to people
Casablanca is a great film and they don't really believe you
until they watch it and then they realize it's a great film.
Yeah. And one foot of the grave you
say to people was was just amazingly brilliant.
It's just so brilliant and they think that you're over over
egging it until they watch it because it completely holds up.
Anyway, the point of Richard Wilson would have been
fantastic. Yeah.
Yeah, Richard Wilson, also one of his great lost characters.
Bringing me back again to Crown Court.
You could say he had a recurring character in Crown Court where
he was AQC called oh God, can't remember his name.
He is phenomenally good in it, you know, for a program that was
on in the afternoon. Crown Court was incredible.
I know this is a bit of a diversion, but I'm going to make
my point. It's fantastic.
And there's also is one of the one of the real joys of my life,
as as now if I stumble across the episode of Great Court I
haven't seen before, it's like finding a nugget of gold.
Anyway, I. See, I watched the the episode
of Crown Court, although because it was there was a was it a
three parter. Well.
They've written by NF Simpson. The one where there's a there's
a was as a hotel built on the edge of a Cliff or something.
Yeah, and the toilet. The toilets are at the bottom of
the Cliff. The toilets are the bottom of
the Cliff and they're being sued.
It was crazy. Yeah, once we get for hiring a
Dave Simpson. I suppose they did the odd, a
sort of silly one. They did a Christmas one called
Madamos trial which was like which actually the prosecuting
QC was Terence Harriman who just died last year.
This year actually right you're the recognizer.
If you saw you're sort of most famous probably as he was the
original prior and had fail sort of very thin faced act of a sort
of authoritative enemy but most of the time in court dealt with
all sorts of mad shit. But it was anyway that he,
Richard Wilson's recurring characters one of the one of the
real real joys of it. He's just quite a great actor.
He has still with us the faint of absolutely, oh, what a great
actor. Yeah, but anyway, can we?
Can we talk about the ending of this film because.
I was going to see where we'll get to the final light, which is
where I think it really starts to take off.
You know what he has is, you know they're going to talk about
something else because he hasn't arrived and he makes his big
entrance. And as I say that the you get
the sense that the the all these head masters are being reduced
to the level of children because of the way he's addressing them.
But this is what I see about the sort of power that some that
Stimpson has. Because as all the people who
are coming in to confront them into the room, into the hall, he
talks down to them as pupils. And they all do exactly what he
tells them. You know, find the sea or the
somebody study. And even Jeff Hutch is creaking
his way down. He sits down in the three.
The three men next to him cross their legs.
So of course he then goes to cross his leg, which is pretty
more creepy. Come on, come on, let's get it
over with. A seat down here.
Look. Long way to know it.
Was it a long way to that seat too?
Make yourself comfortable, then get all the creaking over.
No rush. You've got all the time in the
world. But that, that's the that those
were the bits of that made me laugh out loud towards the end
of the film, although they'd sort of just sort of comes down,
finishes with a bit of a fart. Then there's a sort of very
unnecessary orange van full of oranges gets knocked over and
then they just drive away and that's it.
And this speaks. Again, to your theory that
Stimson has this superpower, this bearing.
Yeah, because he can actually influence the the police driver.
Yeah. Left.
Right. No way.
Yeah. So you get the whole left.
Right Thing comes again now. Clay's hated the ending.
Yeah, well, it's it's not a great ending, you.
Know and yeah, so, but. Frame was insistent.
It's it leaves a lot of questions.
Obviously we don't know what happened.
We. Don't know what happened to Pat.
Penelope Wilton We don't know if they got the car back.
No, she just disappeared. The car was.
She disappeared with the. Car for some reason that never
happens. We don't know what happened with
the. Guy with the Porsche?
No, he's still wandered about the woods and they're dressed in
a monks habit. He Stimson's facing about 10
separate charges. Yeah, that range from driving
away without being for petrol to kidnapping.
Yeah. Is it Grand Theft?
Also, is that what they call? Yeah, theft and and and and.
He's. He's taken what?
100 and how much? Was that 300 and?
£40 or something in cash with 1320?
Pounds or something, which are a phenomenal amount of money.
And also it actually made me, it should made me also nostalgic
for the money because it was back when if you had a lot of
tenors. Jesus, it really looked like a
lot of money. No, it just looks like a book of
vouchers. But there's one last laugh that
I got, which is when they're going to take him away, John
Hickson sets the back of one of the police and they're trying to
get around. She's just not leaving.
And of course back in the hall and we is sitting singing to one
of the headmasters and the only song that gets that gets a
credit at the end. I remember as sort of old
fashioned song. But it yeah it sort of just sort
of descends into of a rabble at the end.
So I could see why it cleaves wouldn't be that you know
because it especially for suddenly it doesn't have a
punchline. You know, you kind of feel that
what it needs is like A tag, like one last boom joke at the
end, which, to be fair. Fish Called Wanda does have.
It's a silly punchline, yeah, but it's a good.
It's quite a nice little rounding off bit where you've
got Archie and whatever oh Wanda on the plane and and and Otto's
just been run over in fresh concrete by Steamroller and he's
he's on the wing like that episode.
Yeah, like The Twilight Zone. It's like outside episode don't.
Call this stupid? And then the plane takes off
with you. Asshole.
That's it. Which I think's it suited that I
think, but this this is much more ambiguous.
Yeah, it just, it just seems to sort of.
I don't know whether it's it's sort of like a maybe a stage
play would finish with all lots of crosstalk and shooting on
this and the cutting would come down.
Maybe that's maybe that's something to do with Michael
free plays rather than films. I don't know.
I know it's right so but it does feel like it should have a pay
off line. You know, like the liquor should
finish. With him shouting 920.
But. But it can't.
It just kind of doesn't and the. The the P office I said as you
see as a case is supposed to be the bet in the the police car
left. No wait wait wait wait wait.
But it's quite weak Yeah. But anyway that's the film.
I mean it's quite a chart I think it's quite a charming
little film. Certainly don't haunted it's not
egregious. It doesn't annoy you.
I'm. And it may be again it's.
Because I saw it when I was. Young and it was one of those
handful of videos that were available to rent from the local
video rental outlets. So I watched it, rented it again
and again and it's you know, but I still think it's I still think
it's you know it is dated but still what film isn't from the
80s but it's well, no I but it's it's it's dated in a sort of.
I think one of its strengths is that it's dated in a kind of
again like a kind of charming way because it has those things
that I like for me personally, which I like, which is, you
know, I sort of I like any film that shows what life was like at
that point in time. And you know and the glimpses of
the even how quiet the more. Yeah, you know.
And I'm you know, I'm sure. This filmed at 5:00 the Sunday
morning or something but you know and the sensibilities of
just the the is that it's very good nature of you know and and
even though he's getting Simpsons getting taken away by
the police for multiple crimes at the end at least when there
was motivation was a good one you know it was to get to the
conference to represent the school.
Yes, I don't care. It was may have been a bit more
about. Himself in the school.
But, but it was. That's what he was doing.
Yeah. There's there's there's one line
in this film that's. Lived on that people still quote
to this day. In fact, I heard it.
Quoted on what Boss, Listen to a podcast The other day.
I think it was the word podcast was David Hepworth.
And Martin is the bit where Stimpson has given up.
He's lying in the ditch dressed in the robes.
Oh yeah, and he's talking to Laura And he said it's not the
despair I can stand, I can stand the despair.
It's the hope. But yeah, it was.
It was an enjoyable, it was an enjoyable watch.
I know that I'll be. I can't imagine I would.
Rush to watch. It again very soon.
Yeah, well, it has. It has a.
Benefit I. Think of well, I mean in some
ways it's a drawback that it's it's not encountered as it
really is. You know when people talk about
comedy films of the 80s, you very rarely see it included but
you don't even think you know. Well, put it this way, there
were a limited number of films being made and practically it is
anyway but the and the but the ones that they achieved more
success with, the ones that go wider distribution, which are
really the Handmade films because they had, they had a
better set up for distributed films.
So they get much more recognition.
You know, I mean DUNS in the run, for example, which which
you know was phenomenally successful.
Yes. And for and actually.
For when it was. Shown on I think would have
shown on Channel 4 for but like for decades it was the biggest
audience they'd ever had really which was like on a Sunday night
or Sunday night I think yeah. OK yeah it was huge audience and
and I I and it's sort of again nuns have done it's all right
it's got some nice moments but it's no.
Oh yeah, that's OK Oh, that's reminded me as well.
You reminded me so. The.
The UKTV premiere of Clockwise. Oh yeah.
BBC One, Christmas Day 1989. Wow, BBC One Mr. Trick here
because it was it. Was showed at 10:20.
They should have shown it at 9:20, yeah. 10/20 in the
evening. I'm surprised I didn't.
Maybe I did watch it. I'm surprised I wouldn't have
1989, Christmas 1989. I think Party Games was on that.
Night. Was that 1990?
That's party games. The yes.
Minister. Christmas special, right.
OK, Where it becomes Prime Minister.
Because there was it was either 1989 or 99, Must have been 1990.
It was party games. Then Vault of Horror was on.
Oh, Volta 50, right? Yeah, Yes, where they used to.
Show. You know, like Christmas Eve,
the show, a more adult film, like sort of later at night.
Yeah, yeah. But Clot Wise is a funny one to
put on at that time. It's a bit late, isn't it?
Yeah, because because everything about it, there's nothing.
There's nothing. That's going to upset Grandma in
this film. Is there really?
No, no, not at all, but usually that slow that.
Christmas film slot is usually for like, you know, it's kids
that are away bed, everyone's done, people are slumped,
knackered and these, you know, there's a film on it.
But it's usually. A wee bit more.
I don't like a thriller or something like that.
Oh, this was originally going to be called Man of The.
Moment. Then someone pointed out that
there was a Norman Wisdom film of the same name.
It's the man of the moment, the man of today have.
You seen? Oh, I've Oh, yeah, yeah.
Could well you used to see all those films, all those non
wizard films on and likes the summer holidays and in fact in
the 80s that they used to show for sort of sort of late mid to
late 80s. There would be like a normal is
about or a George Formby film or something like a Friday tea time
on BBC Two. That was back when they thought
that's what kids wanted to see because they were silly.
Nobody wanted to see them, actually.
Well, I've never seen a Norman Wisdom film in my life.
I don't worry about it. No, it's not.
The despair, Laura. I can stand the despair.
It's the hope. I tell you what really dates the
film. It's something that, it's the
hanging, the premise, hanging the plot on that sort of a
combination of misunderstanding and coincidence, which is a very
sitcom premise. Yeah, you're the use of the use
of coincidence in a comedy. Yeah, Which is which?
Again, is you know there are. Various zillion, like sick of
troops that used to exist. Some.
It's ain't nothing to do with the insurance man coming.
You know somebody? Thinking that somebody's.
Will be sexual, but they're really not.
Yes, So. Somebody.
Believing that somebody is somebody's daughter and or
girlfriend and or mother, but they're actually not you know
that sort of thing and because or or somebody's having an.
Affair. Somebody's having an affair, but
they're really not having an. Affair or they are having an
affair, but they don't think they'll have another affair.
Anything to do with so many and so many comedies, you know,
would just take the boxes and it just provides A backboard for
the, for the, for the, for the merriment.
But they don't really exist anymore.
You sitcoms barely exist anymore.
You know when you think I can't, I really can't think of a single
sitcom that's running at the moment here not going out.
Is that still going? Is that still hard?
I think so. So you should be called still
going. Out.
But you know. Like when you think.
That there used to be 3 or 4 a week.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just something that's.
Kind of gone so anyway. Those those devices are just
don't exist anymore and therefore the audience don't
really recognize them this week. They feel like contrivances and
I think that's what. Really dates the film.
Because as you say, you know, or if you're the mobile, you could
sort it, but people will forgive that.
I mean almost anything made before 1999, you could sort any
film or you know, under the Orient Express, could have been
sorted by a mobile, but the only, I think audiences.
Forgive that because. You know you're looking back.
Yeah. So what really dates it?
I think is. Just the premise, but maybe.
That's why it hasn't lived. On in the same way that other
films of the period no have managed to live on.
And if I even even other bakel fade stuff like Noise is off or
whatever, I've lasted longer. Yeah, you know.
I don't know, maybe because. They just have a bit less of an
anchoring in a period I make as you said mentioned before my
it's like. You don't, you know.
Michael Freeze, a crazy writer. There's no reproach as you read
Headlong his novel, Headlong From.
No, I have not about 10 years. No, I'm.
Saying 20 years ago. It's it's to do with an art
collector who's trying to get his hands on an original,
original Bruegel painting and shenanigans occur and it's very,
very good. That's all I'll say.
But I mean, I'll tell you what it does.
It does have. I tell you what's really good
for it. In my eyes it's a Bakel frame
script. As you see.
We have set up situation shenanigans.
Yeah, great, brilliant. Whatever.
Whatever drawbacks this film has, it's got High Junction
shenanigans, doesn't do anybody any harm.
And it finishes and it's fine on the other.
Hand you could have. Made Lee and Mike Lee's Canon,
although with the exception of things like Topsy Turvy, which
are superb, this is a makely film.
Got got a screenplay, Comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, Dead and
it doesn't. It doesn't do.
That to you? No.
I just can't be doing with that. What about?
Ken Loach's Clockwise. Oh, he could just fuck off.
I don't avoid any of that. Ken Loach's Clockwise would
never have left the school. They've been too busy trying to.
You'd were fixated first of all on the relationship between
Laura and the teacher, and then you'd have gone back to the.
House to be cat show on the. Floor and people starving and
then gangsters would appear but some what they working class
people would see them off and then somebody would buy a
convenient dress and then drive through a window and they just
get just just pissed off. You know I.
I I just, whatever, just whatever.
All right, well, we've we've managed to.
Find a lot to talk about a film which which is yeah, there
wasn't not a huge amount to talk about this film but we managed
to find a lot to talk about. So yeah, Chris, thanks.
Thanks again and I look forward to speaking to you next year and
all the best for the festive season and a happy new.
Year and a happy new year to all of the good pods.
Absolutely Happy New Year. Well, actually.
There is going to be a special show on New Year's Eve, which I
was going to keep as a surprise, but I may as well just tell you
now it's listeners top 20 Peter Sellers films in which myself
and a couple of guests including Mark Cousins.
Not that, not that one, not the one that you don't like.
No. Talk about the top 20 Peter
Sellers films as voted for by Goon Pod listers and it's
already in the can and and so look out for that on Sunday.
God bless us, everyone.