1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,240 Oh my gosh, it's happening. This is really happening now. 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,920 It's like I'm compelled to do this. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,040 I, I don't even know what's come over me. 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,920 How can you look at hope and think we're far right? 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,920 I just don't, you know, you look at all of our social media, you 6 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,160 look at the website, you look at our ethos, our, our values. 7 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,080 It's it's just. A ruse. 8 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:25,040 Katie, Joe. Whereas I never ever was afraid. 9 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:44,830 Ever. KJ. 10 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:48,310 Yes. Welcome to my garden, The 11 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:48,950 secret. Garden. 12 00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:50,350 Beautiful. I've never been here before. 13 00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:51,310 Yeah. No, you haven't, have you? 14 00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:52,830 No. But it did to this area. 15 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,790 I've never been and. You had a bit of synchronicity 16 00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:56,990 on the way as well. I did it's it's. 17 00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:01,030 Just why you were late. It's there's a few reasons. 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:02,600 Because I got. Lost. 19 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,360 I always get lost. It's fine. 20 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,920 I'm used to it. I just go everything. 21 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,120 I, I, I arrive when I'm meant to arrive. 22 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,240 And actually, if I hadn't got lost and, you know, taking the 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,480 journey I took, I would never have bumped into Katie Ann. 24 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:20,440 And that's just the universe telling me that I'm I'm, I'm on 25 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,120 the right path. Yeah, are you? 26 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:28,720 Do you believe in fight? I believe that we have to just 27 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:35,120 surrender sometimes to yeah, to the universe basically just 28 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:42,240 guiding you and supporting you and synchronicities will happen 29 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,160 along the way. Yeah. 30 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,320 And they and as you, as they happen, it kind of it's, it's, 31 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,040 it's more sort of confirmation that you're on the right path. 32 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,520 So let's well, I was going to say, have you found that with 33 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,400 hope, with hope, the whole hope project? 34 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,760 Have you found that synchronicities have of help, 35 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,520 help too long on that path? But before, before you answer 36 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,880 that, really for those who we should talk a little bit about 37 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:08,400 hope, because I guess that's it's what you're known yes, for 38 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,240 and it's and it is a big passion of yours. 39 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,320 So tell everyone a little bit about hope. 40 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,760 It's A and then we'll get back into the synchronicity. 41 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:24,360 I suppose it, it is my life to a certain extent because it, it 42 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,400 means so much to me and to my family. 43 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:33,440 You know, it's, we're, we're all involved in hope, but especially 44 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:38,080 Tommy, you know, if I didn't have hope, I don't know what 45 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,960 Tommy's life would be like, right? 46 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,160 It would be very, very different. 47 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:46,600 So for those who don't know that much about Hope, there might be 48 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,160 one or two people out there who don't, so give a little. 49 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,160 I know, I'm just presuming everybody. 50 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,960 Knows about it well, because it's so much a part of our 51 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,160 lives, isn't it? And yeah. 52 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,120 It is weird, isn't it? When you have something like 53 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,360 that that's, you know, it's, it's just like the norm and then 54 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,280 people don't know about it and you're like, what? 55 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,640 Yeah, so there'll, there'll definitely be people watching 56 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,800 who either won't know what hope is or won't know much about 57 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,160 hope. So give people a little overview 58 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,880 of of how it started, what? It is, yeah. 59 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:22,000 So I suppose we need to go right back to 2000 and 19 really, and 60 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,200 the announcement of the lockdowns. 61 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:28,240 And you know, previously to that, you know, the, the, the 62 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,600 even the talk of a lockdown happening was just something 63 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:37,440 that sent me, my mum, my sister, my auntie, all of us that were 64 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:43,160 aware of the agenda, shall we say, just spiralling into, Oh my 65 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,280 gosh, it's happening. This is really happening now in 66 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,000 our lifetime, in our lifetime, which is just was just a really 67 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,040 weird thing because I'd heard David Icke speaking about it for 68 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,840 years and years and years. And obviously had been down many 69 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,520 rabbit holes myself already down, you know, the big pharma 70 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,720 rabbit hole, vaccination rabbit hole, 911 rabbit hole, the 71 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,600 chemotherapy, chemotherapy rabbit hole, just so many things 72 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,200 that I've been researching and knew about already. 73 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:15,560 So we just all immediately said, right, OK, we've got to do 74 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,920 something. It was just like I had to, you 75 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,800 know, I felt like I had to be proactive. 76 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,760 I couldn't just sit back and just watch things happening. 77 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,840 So my mum and myself and a couple of friends decided that 78 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:32,680 we would start a cooperative. Before that, actually, I'd 79 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,800 started a Facebook page with a friend called Hastings. 80 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,680 Stop and think where we were just, you know, encouraging 81 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,880 people to question things and, you know, a nice. 82 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,720 A nice name actually. Hastings, stop stopping the 83 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,720 thing. Because it's, it's quite gentle, 84 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,360 isn't it? It's quite feminine. 85 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,320 Like the, you know, if that was a bloke setting up a Facebook 86 00:04:54,320 --> 00:05:00,200 page, it'd be like, you know, Armageddon approaches call to 87 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,160 arms. Also not the you know, the shits 88 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,160 hit the fan. Yeah, the shits hit the fan. 89 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,480 Yeah. So that's that's nice. 90 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:11,680 But we had, we had a really nasty character join the page 91 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,640 and start, you know, antagonising people and it just 92 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,720 all got horrible as social media does. 93 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,720 So I decided to put, just put messages out and said if you're 94 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,240 really serious about, you know, making a change and doing 95 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,240 something then and building community, then meet me on the 96 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,240 beach. So I started meeting people 97 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:36,280 illegally on the beach and in at the back of downstairs of a cafe 98 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,600 in the centre of Hastings. That's where I met amazing 99 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:44,440 people like Chris Coverdale, who, Oh yeah, I absolutely adore 100 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,520 and. Yeah, I've not met him, but he 101 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,520 always comes across. You should definitely paint 102 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,440 Chris. You know what? 103 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,360 I hadn't even thought of Chris, but that would be brilliant. 104 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,520 Yeah. He's lovely. 105 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,760 Yeah. So, yeah, so that, and then the 106 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,720 meetings just grew and grew and grew. 107 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,960 And throughout that time, it was very exciting, shall I say, to, 108 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:07,120 to, to meet whilst, you know, having to hide your cars and, 109 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,760 you know, pull the blinds down. And it was just, it was just 110 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,480 such a crazy time. It was really, really bonkers, 111 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,920 you know, with that. And then, you know, all of the 112 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,120 protests and the marches. But getting, getting back to 113 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,720 hope, we, I met Matt and Sadie and they're four gorgeous 114 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:29,000 children on the beach. And our friendship just grew 115 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,720 from there. We started to educate the 116 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:35,720 children together, you know, go for lovely walks in the woods. 117 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,240 We had a friend's apple farm, Martin's Apple farm that we used 118 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,560 to go to and and do forest school with the children there. 119 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,960 We had the police called on us and we had to play hide and seek 120 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:52,240 with the children. Mad times for being outside so. 121 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,320 Some children really suffered with that, but some really 122 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,640 thrived, didn't they? Yes. 123 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:02,560 You know, I think some children really, really relished that 124 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,640 excitement. But I know that a lot of 125 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,720 children didn't. They didn't like it. 126 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,920 I think it, I think it depends on what sort of environment 127 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,680 they're in. So if, if, if your parents are 128 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,560 panicking and being very, you know, afraid and fearful, then 129 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:19,800 they're going to pick up on that. 130 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,600 Whereas I never ever was afraid ever. 131 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:27,000 And I know that sounds really, I don't know, I'm not trying to 132 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,000 sound big headed or anything, but I just, I never had a fear 133 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,360 at that at that time. I never, I never do have any 134 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:38,200 fear of, of, of, of them and what, what they want to try and, 135 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,560 you know, force us into. It's just not something that's 136 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,800 ever crossed my mind. So, yeah. 137 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:49,920 So we, so we started educating at Sadie's house, you know, 138 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:54,560 other parents houses, smuggling the children in and it was 139 00:07:54,560 --> 00:08:00,680 fairly exciting really. Then the Co-op fell apart. 140 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,720 Really. It's it's, it's one of those 141 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:07,120 things that with a cooperative, everybody gets a say and, and I 142 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:11,880 know that sounds like true democracy and I suppose. 143 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,000 It is. It's democracy. 144 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,640 But that's a big question, isn't it? 145 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,760 That's a big question. You know, if you have a room 146 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,720 full of 100 people and you're talking about one topic, let's 147 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,320 say, should we allow vaccinated people into the Co-op or should 148 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,080 we not allow vaccinated people into the Co-op, for example? 149 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:33,320 Every single person has to have their say and naturally, you 150 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,880 know, even though the point has been made by someone else, 151 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,000 everyone will want their, you know, their their moment to 152 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,640 speak. And, and so meetings would go on 153 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,160 and on for hours and hours and hours with the same people going 154 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,680 away and doing the doing all the work. 155 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,160 Yeah, you know, it's it's. And a lot of hot air. 156 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,440 And a lot of hot air and a lot of going round and round in 157 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,360 circles and never really achieving anything. 158 00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:00,640 So for me, when, when the Co-op was, was shut down, I, I, I, I 159 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,240 didn't want to go back to that model. 160 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,320 I knew it wasn't really going to help. 161 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:09,760 So we went for the CIC model instead, which is a community 162 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,160 interest company. Oh, OK. 163 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:16,040 So we can we, you know, myself and Sadie, we are the directors, 164 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:22,560 but we have a core team, as you know, that really are at the 165 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,600 centre of making decisions. And we always ask if they're big 166 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,560 decisions. We always ask for, you know, 167 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:32,400 people's opinions. But ultimately the buck lies 168 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,960 with me and Sadie and it has to be like that for for us to get 169 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,240 anything done, for us to achieve anything, you know? 170 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,840 I think that's the case with, well, with a lot of freedom 171 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,880 people. They have this sort of utopian 172 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:49,760 idea that if we're all aligned, we can all come together and 173 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,640 create these communities. But actually, I think like any 174 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:58,440 good business, it's usually one or two people's idea and they 175 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,480 have the vision and then they find people who want to support 176 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,440 that vision and then it just becomes a solid thing. 177 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,160 Whereas if you have just like you're saying, if you have so 178 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,040 many different voices all saying, well, it should be like 179 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,080 this. It should be like nothing ever 180 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,800 gets done. No business ever succeeded like 181 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,760 that. And I'm not saying business is 182 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,960 the be all and end all, but it's the it's the mark of, you know, 183 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,000 if you're profit driven and you know, you want to succeed at 184 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,800 something, that's the model that you it's usually one at the most 185 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,480 two really. Isn't it like a partnership? 186 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,280 Yes, yes, I mean. Matt, Matt's definitely there as 187 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,400 well. You know, I, I he's like a. 188 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,080 But then he's in a relationship with Sadie, so there's a whole. 189 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:40,080 So they're they're they come as a pair really, you know, but 190 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,960 it's a it's a, it's a, it's a really weird thing. 191 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,920 You mentioned profit there, but both, both of us are really bad 192 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,560 at business. We're terrible at business and 193 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:54,920 it's not obviously what has driven us to create hope. 194 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,640 And I think that has its advantages and disadvantages. 195 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,000 Its advantages is that it's it's coming totally from heart. 196 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,600 There's no, there's never been off. 197 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,960 We do this, we can make loads of money. 198 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,800 It's that's just never, ever ended our minds. 199 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,800 We can vouch for that and I know how the how it works. 200 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,240 But it's but, yeah, but I'm sure we've made plenty of silly 201 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:20,000 mistakes along the way as well. You know, we're learning as we 202 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,280 go along. Nobody's given. 203 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,640 Nobody's given us a handbook and gone. 204 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:30,560 This is how you build community, especially in these times when 205 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,960 community is pretty alien to people. 206 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,720 You know, we're not, we're not used to that. 207 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:39,240 We're not even used to really existing in big families 208 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,880 anymore. So it's, it's a whole new way of 209 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:48,560 learning to live and cooperate with people and yeah, be, be 210 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:54,200 understanding and compassionate. And especially at these trying, 211 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,560 in these trying times. Everyone's going through it big 212 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,360 time. There's everyone's struggling at 213 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,360 the moment. I think it's tough. 214 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:08,080 So, but it was, it was a, it was a when I never forget my husband 215 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,920 when I was when I was meeting people on the beach, he said, 216 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:15,160 said to you, it's like, it's like you think, Jesus, it's 217 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,120 like, no, no, it's not that at all. 218 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,600 I can't I it's like I'm compelled to do this. 219 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,720 I, I don't even know what's come over me. 220 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,600 I'm literally just half to do it. 221 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,040 And it was such a stressful time. 222 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,520 Actually in our house. It was a really stressful time 223 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:38,120 because that's all I could put my energy into was, was, was, 224 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,920 yeah, it was. That was building community, 225 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,680 making a change, doing something. 226 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,800 Yeah. So is that something that you 227 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,280 took my focus? Lastly, you still, because I 228 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:51,160 know you're very driven and for example, when we asked if you'd 229 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,200 like to join the band, you know, it's a big consideration because 230 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,000 you do so much, you know, you had to consider did you have the 231 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,520 time to do it? Well, luckily, luckily for us 232 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:06,720 that you thought you had. But is that an ongoing concern 233 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:07,800 juggling? I know you've got a very 234 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,600 supportive family. I've got a star. 235 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,720 My family's amazing, absolutely amazing. 236 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:17,280 I, you know, I couldn't do they deserve all the credit really, 237 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,400 because there's just no way I could achieve anything I've 238 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,200 achieved without them. So they do deserve all of the 239 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:28,280 credit. But I, oh, I, I, it was straight 240 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,280 away I was like, yes, I want to be in Victorious. 241 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,200 Absolutely love Victorious. And it's been so lovely already 242 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:37,000 that we've, you know, I've sung, you know, guest songs with you. 243 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:42,840 So it felt like, you know, something that would be a 244 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,040 natural progression. Yeah. 245 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:50,440 So yeah, going back to Hope, how did the vision form of actually 246 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,280 a place for home education because we haven't actually said 247 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,840 that to people. So what let, let, OK, what is 248 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,200 hope in its current form? What is it? 249 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,920 Hope is Sussex, Hope Sussex Community is literally that. 250 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:08,800 So I would say the site operates as a community centre and we 251 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:15,080 have our home educators, home educating families that come and 252 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:21,000 use the facility. They, they have, we have classes 253 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:25,840 there with independent tutors, amazing independent tutors who 254 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,120 are all really happy to be out of the education system. 255 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:37,760 And so they, they're, they're taking classes and also just 256 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,480 socialising the children. It's also, it's also about the 257 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,680 adults being able to chat with like minded people and, and 258 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,800 again, feel like you're putting into something, you're making a 259 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,880 difference. You know, you're, you're, you're 260 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,760 leaving a legacy behind. Is, is how I feel. 261 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,640 And we have the best people there. 262 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,080 We do, we really do. And that's and you know, and, 263 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,600 and there are obviously people that come that weekly. 264 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:07,640 We have a health clinic PHA, which again is so important for 265 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,880 people to be able to get low cost treatments. 266 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,120 So really, really grateful to all of those practitioners that 267 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,600 are part of the PHA that'd. Be where you'd get your latest 268 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,600 shot, is it? Is that right? 269 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,640 Yeah, yeah. Get your latest shot of glowed 270 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:28,000 or silver or what else is there. There's hydroxychloroquine, the 271 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,440 natural stuff, I think so. Yeah. 272 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,120 So there's there's the PHA. And again, I'd just love to 273 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,960 expand every single branch really. 274 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,520 Our allotment is another one. The food side of things is 275 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,560 really important, but that's run by a real dedicated core group. 276 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,720 And you know, they work their butts off. 277 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:51,320 They really do. And it's looking amazing down 278 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,560 there. So we're, we're looking like 279 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:56,560 we're going to have a really fruitful year harvest this year. 280 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,760 So there's that and there's, there's the event side, which 281 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:05,120 really, I mean, I absolutely adore the event side, but it is 282 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,360 a constant juggle for myself and Sadie because the, the running 283 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,240 of the homemade side and then the running of the events side 284 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,320 are both really, really demanding. 285 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,720 And we're constantly going, OK, we have to run the events to 286 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:22,640 bring the money in. The homemade side is what's is 287 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,320 at the core really. It's the reason we started Hope 288 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:29,000 Sussex. So for us, we, it, it is, it's, 289 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:34,520 it's big, it's a lot, it's a lot of work, it's a lot of work, but 290 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,600 it's, it's, there's, there's I can't, there's, I can't think of 291 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,640 doing anything else. There's, there's no, there's no 292 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,800 other option really, if you like. 293 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,800 And the rewards are massive. The rewards are huge. 294 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,600 When you see the children having a wonderful time at Hope, 295 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:54,160 playing, being free, you know, that's, that's, that's just, you 296 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,440 know. Well, it it. 297 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,680 It's makes my heart just swell. It's just the best thing. 298 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,480 And that's what it's all about. And especially my Tommy, when I 299 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,680 see him, I hope, you know, having having the best time and 300 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:10,119 being accepted for who he is. So for Tommy, if, if, if we 301 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,839 didn't have hope, his options would be mainstream. 302 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:15,359 And I mean, Jake, Can you imagine Tommy in mainstream 303 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:16,400 school? He's 13. 304 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,359 He's 14 this year. That means he would be, you 305 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:24,040 know, nearly at the end of first year in secondary school that it 306 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,599 would just kill him. I know it would. 307 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,640 It would be he would be bullied, he would, he wouldn't cope with 308 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,800 it. He just wouldn't be able to. 309 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,720 So the other option is a special needs school. 310 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:39,600 And he's he's not stupid. He's not, you know, I think that 311 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:40,320 would. Just wouldn't be. 312 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,760 Right, either that just wouldn't work for him either. 313 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,880 I think he just needs to be accepted for who he is in a 314 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,120 loving environment and to be able to learn at his own pace, 315 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:55,520 which he cannot hope. So it's, it's the biggest 316 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,680 blessing for, for us as a family. 317 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:03,080 Yeah, it's a very, it's a very natural way of of community, 318 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,840 isn't it? Hope it's it's very relaxing in 319 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,240 some ways, although there are structured, you know, the tutors 320 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,960 come in. But in a way, I mean, I can say 321 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:17,280 for Mackie as well that it's all the stuff around it really, 322 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:21,120 which is just so nourishing for everyone, adults and children, 323 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,920 in a way that, you know, we've put off coming for a long time. 324 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,720 Rachel was you must come to hope. 325 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:32,160 And it's too far away, yes. It is far, I know. 326 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:39,000 But you know, the rewards have just been incredible and on so 327 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,720 many different levels, it does feel that, you know, when you 328 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:47,280 set something up, it just it just has its own momentum and 329 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:52,000 people just come who are right. And I can imagine Netherfield 330 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,840 becoming this hub of. The locals, yeah. 331 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,600 I know, I know there's challenges with the locals. 332 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,040 I've heard some things and you know, people get in the wrong 333 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,720 end of the stick and and listening to the media too much 334 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,600 and you know. We've all experienced that, 335 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,800 haven't we? I think we've got things. 336 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:14,280 Unfortunately, those people probably won't be listening to 337 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,240 this and and getting the the true picture. 338 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,720 That's the problem, isn't it? People get stuck in their 339 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,880 perceptions. I mean, you can't. 340 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,600 I don't know how you can blame parents for wanting to protect 341 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,960 their children from what's happening. 342 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,920 At the end of the day, that's all we're doing as parents is 343 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,240 going. I want to be the best parent I 344 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,840 can be, you know? And I know that something is 345 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,160 deeply wrong with society and the way society is going, I know 346 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,200 something's deeply wrong with the education system. 347 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,880 I don't want my child to be subjected to any of that. 348 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,240 I want to protect them. That's surely a natural instinct 349 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,440 for a parent so. But most people wouldn't 350 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:58,160 wouldn't see, no, sorry, not most people, those who have been 351 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,680 indoctrinated into the, you know, by the the press and 352 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,520 you've had some hit pieces done about hope and all that kind of 353 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,760 stuff. But the people who? 354 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,360 Fall for that they they're not seeing it from that perspective, 355 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:13,280 are they, though? They're seeing a bunch of far 356 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,720 right. How can you look at hope and 357 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,800 think we're far right? I just don't, you know, you look 358 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,120 at all of our social media, you look at the website, you look at 359 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,480 our ethos, our values. It's just. 360 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,000 A ruse. Katie Joe, It's just stories. 361 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,080 I love your slogan. What's that so far? 362 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,800 Right, right so far. Oh, yeah. 363 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,120 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brilliant. 364 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,120 Yeah. T-shirts. 365 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,880 T-shirts available on the website. 366 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,480 Get yours now, right? So far, yeah. 367 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,880 So it's, yeah, it's just another, it's just like being 368 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,040 called a conspiracy theorist. Like it's like being called a 369 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:51,200 homophobic, transphobic person. I mean, I just, it's, it's just 370 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,440 another, it's just another, you know, name. 371 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,200 They're just trying to put us in that box really, aren't they? 372 00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:04,000 And the only badge I will wear is that is the anti Vaxxer. 373 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,480 Badge. You know, I'm the same actually. 374 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,920 I'm really not ashamed to speak out and say I'm an anti vaxxer. 375 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,720 I'm not either, you know, I don't, I wouldn't necessarily 376 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,440 describe myself as anti anything. 377 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,520 It's, you know, it just has connotations of negativity, but 378 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,080 essentially. See, I, I, I don't feel that 379 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:29,080 because I've researched vaccines so deeply with every child. 380 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,080 I mean, obviously my, my background is that my mum's 381 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,080 brother, three years old, developed a leukemia after the 382 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,560 measles vaccine and died. Oh right, I didn't know that. 383 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,800 Yeah, so it goes right back in my family, the questioning of 384 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,920 vaccinations. And I used to. 385 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,520 I've always grown up seeing a homeopath and my homeopath when 386 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,120 I fell pregnant with Molly, she said to me, you really need to 387 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,520 research vaccines. She didn't say to me, don't, 388 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,160 don't, don't vaccinate research vaccines. 389 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,000 So she gave me loads of books and I'm sorry, but if you do 390 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,160 your research, there's just no way you'd let them, you know, 391 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,880 vaccinate your child. So I, I, well, I did that with 392 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,720 every single 1. I did that with Poppy and I did 393 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,320 that with Tommy. I just went back to the to the 394 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,320 same books, you know, and the informed parent is a fantastic 395 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,640 website. I don't know if they do any 396 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,360 talks anymore, but they went to a couple of their their their 397 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:23,680 talks. Oh. 398 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,080 Is that what's her name? Is that English? 399 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,680 Is that an English organization? Yeah. 400 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,440 Yeah, I. Think she, I think there was the 401 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,320 one who's promoted a lot in the Aneka groups who used. 402 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,920 To probably. It's pretty clear cut, really. 403 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,840 Yeah. When I say anti I, it's just the 404 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,640 word anti. But yeah, no, absolutely 100% I, 405 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:50,880 you know, vaccines are they're. Not safe, they're ineffective, 406 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:56,560 they're not effective, you know, and and it's again, all about 407 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,240 profit for big pharma and keeping us. 408 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:04,040 I'll, you know, so I'm, I'll wear that badge with pride with 409 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,360 Molly. She got whooping cough. 410 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,720 Oh, yeah. And it wasn't very nice. 411 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,880 But she's so, you know, it's it, it did the world of good really 412 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,640 in the end, because she never gets coughs. 413 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,840 And, you know, it's like a, it's like an immunity. 414 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:20,080 Yeah, there is a theory that with every infection, let's just 415 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:25,200 call it an infection, the the body goes through a kind of a 416 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,120 real growth spurt intellectually and it that that the challenge 417 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:32,600 of the infection pushes a child to develop. 418 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,600 And people like children have I. Agree with that. 419 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,880 And if you suppress the infection, then maybe they they 420 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,760 don't get that chance to. I I would say that's, that's 421 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,720 definitely true. I've I've witnessed that as well 422 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,640 with, with my children after they've maybe had a fever. 423 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,200 Yeah, they have like a growth spurt. 424 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,600 OK. So that's the, I would say I've 425 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,720 actually witnessed that, right. OK, so that is definitely true. 426 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,080 But it was the doctor. Oh my gosh. 427 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,360 Because I, I didn't, she didn't have any antibiotics or 428 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,720 anything. I used homeopathy to, to, to, 429 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,240 you know, to help her and just let it run its course. 430 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,760 But the, oh, the doctor, yeah. Oh, I bet you wish you'd had her 431 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,880 vaccinated now. No, actually no. 432 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,840 But they oh gosh, went obviously spent a lot of time in hospital 433 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,360 and that's that's a challenge when you have a child like 434 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,240 Tommy, who's who's born and straight into special care and 435 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:30,720 has, you know, you're in that allopathic environment and then 436 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,720 you're trying to treat them as holistically as possible. 437 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,080 And never forget the pharmacists going crazy at me because I'd 438 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,800 gave him, I'd given him some Monica and he went, you're going 439 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:46,640 to give him a heart attack. I was like, no, I don't think I 440 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,120 will. I think he'll be absolutely 441 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,520 fine. Thanks. 442 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,280 I've. Been What was his reasoning with 443 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,560 that? Oh, he just, he just didn't want 444 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,160 me to use any, anything apart from pharmaceuticals. 445 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,400 He didn't really give a reason. He just said that it was 446 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:03,760 dangerous, which is quite amusing, really, when you think 447 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:08,960 of the side effects from yeah, from pharmaceuticals. 448 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,360 It's just. But that's OK, That's all right. 449 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,840 Because they've got they've got the side effects documented and 450 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,000 they can say that these are, you know, so it's, it's all right 451 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,040 If, if you get ill from pharmaceutical drugs. 452 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,360 Yeah. It's, it's bonkers. 453 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:24,720 It's such a bonkers world we live in. 454 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,800 It really is, isn't it? The invert, the inversion 455 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,240 everywhere. It just, it drives you mad. 456 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,200 Your head just starts going, you can't cope with this anymore. 457 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:39,800 I mean, a clown world, as Trevor John says, that song is perfect. 458 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,600 It is a clown world. How was that when Tommy was born 459 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,840 then? Did you feeling then that you 460 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,880 had to be drawn into this system that you was very wary of? 461 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,760 I believe, yeah, I, I can see, I look back at my life now and I 462 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,320 look at big challenges and I think they've prepared me for 463 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,760 what I'm doing now. They've been, they've been a 464 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:09,520 preparation 100%. So that was obviously probably, 465 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,760 I would say the biggest challenge of my whole life was, 466 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:23,640 was trying to, I mean, if it wasn't for me and my mum, my 467 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,400 husband, I don't think Tommy would be here. 468 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:33,600 I really don't think he'd be here, you know, So I've when I 469 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,440 felt pregnant with Tommy, he was a surprise. 470 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,720 And when I found out, I instantly knew something wasn't 471 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,040 right. It was really bizarre. 472 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,480 Yeah, I knew in my gut I was like, this isn't right. 473 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,160 I don't feel the same way. And it wasn't that it was a 474 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,760 surprise because I love children. 475 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,000 I just keep having kids. I could just knock them out, 476 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,920 have loads of kids, but it there was something. 477 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,720 And. And so then and, and with the 478 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,440 girls, I didn't have any scans, didn't have any scans at all 479 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,120 with the girls, but with Tommy, something in my gut said I 480 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:09,600 needed to have one. And so that's when we found out 481 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,480 he had pulmonary stenosis on his heart, on his heart. 482 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:20,240 And, and then the second scan, they realised I had 483 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:24,880 polyhydramnius, which is this medical condition where we know 484 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,080 now he wasn't swallowing the amniotic fluid. 485 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,720 So I was getting bigger. I literally looked like I was 486 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:34,160 had about 10 babies and I was so tiny as well. 487 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,560 I was like Mr. Greedy from the back. 488 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,680 I didn't look pregnant for a turn around huge. 489 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:43,400 I was massive and I was really poorly towards the end. 490 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,960 But yeah, no. And, and when he was born, he 491 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:52,240 had to, he went straight to special care, couldn't feed, he 492 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,840 wouldn't feed. So he had to have Ng tube, which 493 00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:01,480 is the nasal gastric tube. And then after 10 days they 494 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,400 said, OK, we've got to transfer him to Brighton. 495 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,040 And that was just kind of like the journey. 496 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,400 We were Brighton to Evelina, to Great Ormond St. to so many 497 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,960 different hospitals. Found out that he had De George 498 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,920 syndrome, which is actually the second most common syndrome 499 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,200 after Downs. Say that again, What's it 500 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,680 called? De George. 501 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,920 De George. De George. 502 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,120 De George Yeah. And I've never heard of it. 503 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:28,080 No, I've not heard of it and some people don't know they've 504 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,120 got it. It can be very, very mild, 505 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,200 depends on the deletion. So Down's syndrome is a 506 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,760 duplication and did George syndrome is a deletion on the 507 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,520 chromosome 22. So. 508 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,800 So it was just a journey then of finding out. 509 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,320 So he had to have his biggest operation at three months old 510 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,120 was his fund duplication. Where what's this? 511 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,320 What? It's it's called a 512 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,320 thunderplication. So the top of his stomach, his 513 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,440 he had low muscle tone all the way down his centre of his body. 514 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,080 And so the top of his stomach hadn't formed properly. 515 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,280 So it's wide open. Oh. 516 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,960 OK. So for a, for a while before the 517 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:11,440 operation, he had to have a tube into his stomach that would take 518 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,560 the contents out so that he didn't aspirate. 519 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,560 And then he had a tube into his Jedinam which would feed him. 520 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,320 So, and all this time I was trying to express because I 521 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,600 wanted him to have breast milk. And I did that. 522 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:30,720 I literally, probably for the first 3-4 months, I think I was 523 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:34,440 every two hours, day and night, expressing wherever we were just 524 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,600 trying to, yeah, try to feed him. 525 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,280 And then he had the, the surgery, which was a huge 526 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:45,120 success. Fantastic surgeon at Brighton, 527 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,600 but this whole time we're constantly suctioning him. 528 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,320 So, you know, like a, a a suction machine that you get in 529 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,960 the dentist, that's what you would constantly have to suction 530 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,560 him and for they didn't. They didn't constantly. 531 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:06,400 Do you mean like literally? Yeah, yeah, constantly 532 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,040 otherwise. You could someone need to be. 533 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,120 He couldn't swallow. With him like. 534 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,760 He yeah, all the time, Yeah. He had the worst case of 535 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,480 dysphasia they've seen in the ebolina. 536 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:21,200 So he was suctioned constantly, but but even Even so, it was. 537 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,040 So I look back now and the speech and language therapist 538 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,120 was still trying to get me get him to feed. 539 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,400 And it's, I look back now and I, I cannot believe you didn't see 540 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,600 that He couldn't swallow. So it's just really weird. 541 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:42,040 So he has the fundification. He, he's, he's had, he had his, 542 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,760 one of his hernia operations. We get home and I've got this 543 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,520 baby that I'm trying to feed all these different formulas. 544 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,040 Actually before we even got him home, he had necrotizing 545 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,440 entrecolitis. I don't know if you've heard of 546 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,320 that. That's where some of the bowel 547 00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,840 dies. And that's because they wanted 548 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,480 him to have this really, really high fat milk because he wasn't 549 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,200 putting weight on. And I said I was really worried 550 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,440 about him getting that. And they, they said no, no, no, 551 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,600 he'll be fine. I'll eat my hat if he gets that. 552 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,920 She went and then two days on the milk and he's profusely 553 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,840 bleeding. Yeah, it was. 554 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,200 It was awful. So yeah, it was. 555 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,840 It was just like there were plenty of times where I just 556 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,000 wanted to run away. Yeah, I bet. 557 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,800 But when I got him home, this was, this was I think was the 558 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:34,800 biggest turning point for Tommy was when he he would, he would 559 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,960 choke constantly. So therefore whatever we put 560 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,120 into his stomach, he would vomit. 561 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,440 So he's not putting any weight on. 562 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,160 So, yeah, and the, and the formulas were awful. 563 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,320 I knew that, you know, but I couldn't, I couldn't express 564 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,480 anymore. I had nothing left. 565 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,240 So I made it my mission to make my own formula milk. 566 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,800 Oh, OK. And I tried everything I, you 567 00:31:55,800 --> 00:32:00,480 know, hemp milk and cows it literally every kind of milk. 568 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,720 And I would put, I studied the composition of, of formula milk 569 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:10,280 and I added molasses and olive oil and ghee and just coconut 570 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,480 oil and everything I could. But he was still being fed 571 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,560 through his nose. So there's a really tiny, tiny 572 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,720 tube. So it had to be really thin 573 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,480 still. He would still constantly vomit 574 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,920 all the time. So I, I researched raw goats, 575 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,960 OK. And that saved his life because 576 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,400 I, I can't, you know, I, I don't see how we would have got any, 577 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,960 you know, past that constant vomiting if it hadn't been for 578 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,600 the raw goats, because it turns to curds and whey pretty much as 579 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,920 soon as it hits the stomach. So it became a solid solid. 580 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:49,160 And that, that gradually helped him to start to gain weight. 581 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:55,040 So, and they abut, Oh my gosh, I'll never forget going for an 582 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:59,280 appointment with the dietitian and the surgeon who'd done his 583 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:03,080 surgery and I told them this and how brilliant it was going. 584 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,600 Oh my God, you'd have thought they were going to take him off 585 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,680 of me phone social services. It was it. 586 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:12,080 I suddenly just went right. Not never ever coming back here 587 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:12,960 again. Ever. 588 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:18,120 So was that part of your awakening process seeing first 589 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:22,920 hand some of the difficulties within, you know, or the, the. 590 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:27,200 I within the system. I thank God that that didn't 591 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:34,280 happen during COVID. I, you know, we, we were lucky 592 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,960 enough that it was a time where we could all be in the room with 593 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:42,600 Tommy, you know, and, and I could, I could sleep next to him 594 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,840 every night. And if I, you know, it was hard. 595 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,120 We had two other children. So I would, you know, every now 596 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,440 and again go home and see them And my husband would, we'd swap 597 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:57,000 all, my mum would stay with Tommy and Tom's mum was amazing. 598 00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,640 And obviously the granddads as well have been so such a support 599 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,000 in, in supporting us and the, and the girls. 600 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:09,639 But I just, Oh my gosh, if I, if I think about what that would 601 00:34:09,639 --> 00:34:12,600 have been like during COVID and the restrictions of having 602 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,560 people in there and, and the testing and the mask wearing, I, 603 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,199 I just, yeah, it was tough enough as it was. 604 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:24,960 So my heart goes out to anybody who was in, in the, you know, in 605 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,960 the hospitals in the system at that time. 606 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,880 It must have been horrendous. They, you know, I can't, I can't 607 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,360 knock most of the nurses and, and doctors, but it, but you had 608 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,000 to be there. You had to be there for 609 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,639 handover. You had to be there because 610 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,239 things would get missed. You know, there's, there were 611 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,199 times where he was going to be given the wrong medicine and 612 00:34:44,199 --> 00:34:46,280 you'd be like, no, that's not the drugs he's on. 613 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:51,199 He's on this or, you know, or I don't remember one, one night 614 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,280 going to see him. This was when he was in the 615 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,800 special care unit. So he was really, really young, 616 00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:01,640 probably two months old. And I'd just popped to see him. 617 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:07,400 It was about 11:00 at night. And there was a, a doctor doing 618 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,960 an A scan on his heart. And I was like, this wasn't 619 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,080 scheduled in. What are you doing? 620 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:15,240 Oh, yeah, just just just checking. 621 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,560 And I was thinking, you know, there's so much intervention for 622 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,240 these for, for when you're in hospital, you know, and these 623 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:24,320 little children, they, they have to have, you know, moments where 624 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,520 they're they're left alone. And it turned out he was just a 625 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,080 student just using Tommy, you know. 626 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:37,880 And so you, if you're not there, things will happen for sure. 627 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:43,080 You've got to be there and on your guard, which is a shame. 628 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,480 And I and I, I do believe hearing now that things have 629 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:50,480 probably have deteriorated quite a lot in hospitals. 630 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,760 All the children that hope benefit from that. 631 00:35:56,240 --> 00:36:00,360 It's a very loving atmosphere. And some, you know, someone like 632 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:04,320 Tommy, like you said, if they're at mainstream school, they'd, 633 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,920 you know, maybe be bullied or, you know, left out, ostracized. 634 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,680 Way guarantee he was. He was in when he, when he first 635 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,640 went up to special care, when he was born. 636 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:21,800 Three days later a little baby came in called Tilly and 637 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,560 adorable little thing. Then we lost contact and Tommy 638 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,080 did go to mainstream school for a bit and they ended up being in 639 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,240 the same year together. And her story is different. 640 00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:39,000 She did go to mainstream school and it's not, it's not been 641 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,360 good, not been good at all. And I know it would have been 642 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,440 the same for him. You know, he's, he's different, 643 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,800 not wrong, different, just different. 644 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,880 And you know, if you don't fit in and that's, that's the 645 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:57,040 pressure that all children have, isn't it, at school to fit in? 646 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,640 And that's what I saw with Molly, my eldest. 647 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,040 So she went through primary school. 648 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,520 I didn't even think about home educating, didn't even cross my 649 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:07,920 mind. Lovely village school guestling 650 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:13,520 really lovely small and she was very happy went to secondary 651 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:20,160 school and I just started to see that yeah, she was just quite 652 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:27,400 becoming quieter and not herself very quiet, unhappy and I and I 653 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,080 just thought OK, all the girls in school have got phones, you 654 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,080 haven't got a phone. They're all doing TikTok, 655 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,360 they're all doing selfies, they're all concerned about what 656 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,800 they look like. And although Molly is loves her 657 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,480 makeup now and she's, you know, that's, she's found herself now. 658 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:47,520 But then she, she just wanted to climb trees and she wanted to be 659 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,560 in the fields, you know, rescuing sheep out of the canal 660 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,320 and, and, and being a being a child still, she wasn't ready 661 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,320 for that. And I just, my gut instinct was 662 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,640 get her out. And I didn't, I didn't know 663 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,440 anything about home Ed, didn't know anyone who home educated. 664 00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:05,080 I just went with my gut. And that was, yeah, that was the 665 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,880 right thing to do for sure. So with Poppy, it was, it was a 666 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,320 natural thing. I just said, OK, you're not 667 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,360 going to secondary school. That's not happening. 668 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,640 I'm not going anywhere near it. And I was going to do the same 669 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,960 for Tommy. But then lockdown happened. 670 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,320 And as soon as it happened, I took him straight out. 671 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,840 I just thought you are not being told you can't cuddle Pete. 672 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,680 He's such a cuddly, cuddly. I mean, go up and cuddle 673 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,400 anybody, won't he? And well, tickle anybody. 674 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:37,520 So, you know, the thought of him being told that he's, he's, you 675 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,280 know, he's, he's, he's got germs and he can't do that and he's 676 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,480 going to make people ill and all of that nonsense. 677 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:47,280 And, and, and I think it's, it would have had such a 678 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,800 detrimental effect on his mental health. 679 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,840 The, the, the constant hand washing they were told to do. 680 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:57,200 And I just know it would have. Affected him. 681 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,280 Negatively hundreds. Of thousands of children who are 682 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,960 traumatised by that whole episode, don't even realise it. 683 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:10,080 It's sort of a hidden, hidden disaster really in a way. 684 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:14,320 I think probably kids, social development and confidence and 685 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,120 OCD. It did self harming went through 686 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,040 the roof, suicide went through the roof. 687 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:26,760 The age of of suicide dropped, I think down to something like 10 688 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:32,960 or I mean, you know, it's pure evil what they're doing and what 689 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,240 what what they did. It really, really is. 690 00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,960 There's no other word for it. It's interesting, when we 691 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:42,600 chatted with Andrew Bridgen a couple of weeks ago, there's one 692 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:46,800 moment he just paused because he, he was talking about 693 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:53,440 Leicestershire and his constituency and he was just 694 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:57,200 talking about the suicide rate, you know, and Cathay really 695 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,680 affected him. You know, I think these things, 696 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,360 the people are still in denial about what what they, what they 697 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:06,680 went through, you know? Collectively, what we went 698 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,360 through. Yeah, I think we're still, we're 699 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,880 trying to process it, aren't we? It's it. 700 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,840 But that's the weird thing, isn't it? 701 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,440 About when you look back on life, it's just the weirdest 702 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:21,840 thing because it's it's it feels like it was yesterday and yet it 703 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,080 feels like it. It happened in another world, in 704 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,040 a dream. Yeah. 705 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,400 It's just bizarre, isn't it? This whole existence is bizarre. 706 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,040 You know it is. What else can you say? 707 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:36,200 It's it's it's, it's crazy, Yeah. 708 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,120 Trying to work out what it's all about. 709 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,400 I sometimes think there's just no point even trying try. 710 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,160 Just be in the moment, really. Yeah. 711 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:48,240 And do you find that in a way with the whole the rabbit holes 712 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:51,280 that you can go down and. I don't go down. 713 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,080 Yeah, it almost feels like. I did it. 714 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,360 I did it to death. That's right, yeah. 715 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,560 There's a point where you just say I don't need to know 716 00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:58,280 anymore. Really. 717 00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,680 Yeah. I mean, there's still obviously 718 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:04,240 times where you'll hear something and it'll affect you 719 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:07,120 deeply, you know, there's still times where I'll hear something 720 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,480 and I'll, I'll really cry, you know, or I'll, I'll think about 721 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,280 things and it'll, it'll really get to me. 722 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,360 But generally, overall, I feel like I don't need to do that. 723 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,720 I feel like it's more important that I keep my vibration as high 724 00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:27,800 as possible and I put my time and energy into something 725 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,160 positive and something that's meaningful. 726 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,360 And yeah, that's going to be better. 727 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:35,840 But that's not an avoidance thing. 728 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,320 No. I mean, I know that's not an 729 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,120 avoidance thing with you. I I, it can be with some people, 730 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,120 yeah. You know, But I think there's 731 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:48,320 that it's like a healthy trajectory where you, you you're 732 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,480 open to what's going on. You explore what's going on. 733 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:55,520 You see, there's an agenda, You see that there's deception. 734 00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:06,560 And then and then you just you go, OK, I don't need to spend X 735 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:12,280 amount of hours a day indulging in, you know, the details of 736 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,680 this thing. I just. 737 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:14,880 I just need to. I need to get. 738 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,400 On my mind, where's the benefit for me? 739 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,080 Where's the benefit in that? You know, you're, you're going 740 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:24,760 to end up bringing yourself down, you know, and I do I, I 741 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,640 really truly believe that vibration is, is the key to 742 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,840 everything, you know, and we, I think most people that are awake 743 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:38,000 are on that page, You know, we're all vibration and we know 744 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:43,480 that the lower vibrations feed the machine, the elite, the, you 745 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,960 know, the dark side, it, it feeds them. 746 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:51,280 So, you know, as much as we can, we need to be love and above. 747 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,080 That's not always easy, but you know, but it's, I think 748 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,080 authenticity is, is important as well. 749 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,840 Authenticity is the most important, but it and and also, 750 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:03,080 you know, you, it's not saying we can't have those emotions, 751 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,040 but it's not allowing them to govern us and allowing them to, 752 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:11,320 you know, remain so. It's it's acknowledging them and 753 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:15,760 and being able to move on, trying not to get drawn in to 754 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:20,560 things as much. I like the observe not absorb 755 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,760 thing. Observe, not absorb. 756 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:31,040 Yeah, Yeah, that makes sense. We had this chat with Sandy and 757 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,160 she was almost questioning, saying, well, should I, you 758 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:38,160 know, should I just leave it all behind and go off and do 759 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:44,080 painting or something, you know, and, but I think we do need, 760 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:49,160 it's a, it's a, it's a, we do need people to be Trail Blazers, 761 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:54,320 you know, and if, if they have skills and they have the armour 762 00:43:54,360 --> 00:44:00,320 to face this and, and, and investigate it and, and be a 763 00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:03,440 spokesperson. Those kind of people I find 764 00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:08,280 amazing. We've all needed them perhaps 765 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,760 more towards the start of our journey. 766 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:15,160 And so I said to Sunday, what people like you do is just 767 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,960 something that a lot of people can't do because it's just too, 768 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,800 you must be really grounded basically to be able to face 769 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,360 that and talk about it and go into it. 770 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:27,280 I just don't think I can't really they. 771 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,800 Are incredible. You know, so it's not. 772 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,760 But that's that's that's where we all have a part to play. 773 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,640 A different role as. Well, and that's and it's that 774 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,800 should you know, that's community as well, isn't it? 775 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:45,320 You know, we've all got a skill, we've all got something to bring 776 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:49,840 to the table, and everyone's just as important as everybody 777 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,760 else. Yeah. 778 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,720 Transcending the ego. I know we need ego to a certain 779 00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:59,480 extent, but it's important not to allow it to, to, to rule over 780 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:05,720 you and to really, yeah, we've got to keep a lid on it. 781 00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:10,200 I think for us to be able to move forwards, You know, it's 782 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,760 still, people are still falling out and it's 9 times out of 10 783 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,560 the ego really. Yeah, I agree that's getting in 784 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:18,520 the way. I agree. 785 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,200 It's not discussing things that's the problem. 786 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,760 It's been attached to ideas that's the problem. 787 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:27,640 So, you know, I talk about stuff and I annoy people because I 788 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,280 have my opinions on certain things. 789 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,680 But what could that? Yeah, I'm not going to say I've 790 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:34,240 been told not to keep banging on about it. 791 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:40,160 But what I like is learning to discuss without being attached. 792 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:45,280 So let's talk about this stuff that we might disagree on and 793 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,320 let's do it with love in our hearts. 794 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,200 You know, it's just, it's not a big deal. 795 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,920 But can we learn to just not? Healthy debate. 796 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,760 Healthy debate and just, and not even, you know, it doesn't even 797 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,280 have to be a debate, just a discussion. 798 00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:01,160 You know, like I said, I, I've stopped looking at stuff in 799 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:05,360 detail really largely, but I'm more interested in how we 800 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,920 progress psychologically as a, as a group of people who's 801 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:12,360 looking for truth, you know, because ultimately I think the 802 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:15,320 external is really just a reflection of the internal. 803 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,840 So unless we're dealing with our crap. 804 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,760 Oh, yes, we're just. But don't you feel like that's 805 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:24,120 at the moment everybody's craps being bought out of them? 806 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:29,200 Yeah, it does feel energetically like you can't hide anything at 807 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:35,960 the moment, you know, and people are, you know, on the edge at 808 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:40,720 the moment because if you've got any trauma that you've not dealt 809 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:47,600 with, it's coming to the surface, which I believe we've 810 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,480 we've that's that's for a reason. 811 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:54,000 So that we can move on and, and, and move up. 812 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,440 It's baggage. Get rid of it, you know? 813 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:06,480 Yeah, Make yourself lighter. You know, it was a massive 814 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:12,520 learning curve for me was was trying to unlearn that time 815 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,040 isn't linear. Yeah, the sun could still be a 816 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:16,440 portal, but we could still be on a globe. 817 00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:21,360 The gay pride movement, which was just about equality and just 818 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,240 about allowing people to be who they want to be. 819 00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:28,000 Now we've got these horrendous marches which children should 820 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,640 not be subjected to each other. And I was whizzing almost like 821 00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,640 through space, I suppose because it was pitch black. 822 00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,000 And there was like a bit like Star Warsy. 823 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:40,320 But it I know it wasn't a dream because I felt it.